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(Charleston Post and Courier)   Questions Home Depot can't help with: What's the best type of cement to use for concealing the body of your own dead child?   (postandcourier.com) divider line 25
    More: Sick, Medical University of South Carolina, Moncks Corner, Roger Williams, Grace Trotman  
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8219 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Oct 2012 at 1:49 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-10-11 01:52:28 PM
4 votes:
You want the stuff with the fibers in it so it doesn't crack open like a cadbury egg and reveal the creamy yolk of dead child inside.
2012-10-11 02:06:21 PM
3 votes:

Mr. Cat Poop: Motherfarkers like this need to be ass raped with a rusty machete.


I disagree. Being beaten to death by your family and then buried in cement should be enough punishment for even the most ungrateful of children.
2012-10-11 03:04:17 PM
2 votes:

hogans: *Sigh* One last time, people. You don't want cement, you want lime!


i1.kym-cdn.com
Oh he tried to hide the body that way, but unfortunately he didn't understand homonyms.
2012-10-11 02:57:51 PM
2 votes:

hdhale:
You seem to want to screw a lot of people, do you have a sex addiction?


You ask a lot of questions.
Like that lady who used to work at Lowes.
2012-10-11 02:54:44 PM
2 votes:
For the last time, it's not cement, it's concrete. Cement is an ingredient in concrete but it also needs sand and an aggregate to make it concrete. Cement by itself has very little strength and you can't bury a body under it because it will crack in no time. It's like saying "we ate flour" instead of "we ate cake".

Now, if you're going to do it, do it right: First put the body in the freezer for several days so it's good and solid. Next take it outside and put it on a canvas tarp on the ground (not anything hard like stones, concrete, brick patio, etc.). Next don a tyvek suit and use an axe to cut the body into manageable sized pieces and double bag them in heavy duty trash bags You'll slice through the canvas a few times but nothing will be obvious enough for the authorities to decide to look there for DNA evidence.

Since it's frozen solid, there will be very little "splatter", hence no DNA to tie you to anything. Now to dispose of the pieces: a pig farm is good if you have access to one, other people's septic tanks are also good being sure to spread the parts around to lots of different tanks in lots of different places. Acid generally isn't a good idea because you have to leave it for a while to do its work and time is the enemy.

Be sure to pull any dental work that would identify the person as well as a few good teeth because if only the identifiable dental work is missing, it's a red flag. Finally, after all the parts are gone, burn the canvas tarp, the trash bags, the axe, the tyvek suit and the clothes you were wearing. Then get a new handle for the axe, resharpen it and put it away as usual. Fertilize the lawn, core aerate and water well. Even better, spread some lime afterwards.

Yes, my wife does sleep with one eye open, why do you ask?
2012-10-11 02:26:51 PM
2 votes:
True story, bro/
We had a family reunion in PA last summer, and I drove down from VT. I reserved a camping spot, but on the long drive, I realized I had forgotten a rain fly and hatchet, which is odd, I have a dozen hatchets ate home and usually one in the car. So it's after dark on a rainy Friday when I pull into Lowes, and in kind of a hurry, I grab a hatchet, some clothesline and a huge tarp. And I get to the counter and pull out cash. The lady wants my phone number. Now I'm in PA, and been living in VT for 30 years, and not too happy about having to be in PA at all and not in a good mood after driving from Vermont to Pa all day long, so I just gritted my teeth and leaned in to her and said, "Look, lady. I'm just a guy on a cold, dark, rainy night trying to buy a hatchet, rope and tarp with no questions asked. Now do you have a problem with that? Or are we going to kill a sale here"? Well, she went as white as that gas station guy in No Country For Old Men, but she took the money and I left. I hate central PA, and I hate the hillbillies working at Lowes and I hate giving out personal information when making a cash sale. Screw her, screw Lowes, and screw central PA.
End True story Bro
2012-10-11 01:56:07 PM
2 votes:
Farkin big box stores. Go to Ace Hardware or a real lumber yard.
2012-10-11 01:12:34 PM
2 votes:
When I worked at Home Despot I had some guys come up to the contractor desk one night, who were obviously inibriated, carrying threaded pipe sections, drill bits, end caps, and some wire.

I just looked at them...and all I could say was "Who is the target?"

They said "Big Boy down the street. That Fiberglass bastard has got to go"

Me "You can do it, we can help"

/Then I had my manager price check the end caps (no stickers) and get the sheriff on the phone while he was at it. Sheriff who did... Nothing.


Maybe they were just messing with us, but my manager insisted it was on the level.

//Swear its all true.
2012-10-11 06:10:17 PM
1 votes:
if your smart, you order it from Amazon.com

then leave positive feedback saying how well it worked for burying your kid
2012-10-11 05:49:08 PM
1 votes:

Private_Citizen: Hydroflouric acid in a polyethylene or polypropylene tub.


The bath tub should work just fine.
2012-10-11 03:23:55 PM
1 votes:

MayoBoy: For the last time, it's not cement, it's concrete. Cement is an ingredient in concrete but it also needs sand and an aggregate to make it concrete. Cement by itself has very little strength and you can't bury a body under it because it will crack in no time. It's like saying "we ate flour" instead of "we ate cake".

Now, if you're going to do it, do it right: First put the body in the freezer for several days so it's good and solid. Next take it outside and put it on a canvas tarp on the ground (not anything hard like stones, concrete, brick patio, etc.). Next don a tyvek suit and use an axe to cut the body into manageable sized pieces and double bag them in heavy duty trash bags You'll slice through the canvas a few times but nothing will be obvious enough for the authorities to decide to look there for DNA evidence.

Since it's frozen solid, there will be very little "splatter", hence no DNA to tie you to anything. Now to dispose of the pieces: a pig farm is good if you have access to one, other people's septic tanks are also good being sure to spread the parts around to lots of different tanks in lots of different places. Acid generally isn't a good idea because you have to leave it for a while to do its work and time is the enemy.

Be sure to pull any dental work that would identify the person as well as a few good teeth because if only the identifiable dental work is missing, it's a red flag. Finally, after all the parts are gone, burn the canvas tarp, the trash bags, the axe, the tyvek suit and the clothes you were wearing. Then get a new handle for the axe, resharpen it and put it away as usual. Fertilize the lawn, core aerate and water well. Even better, spread some lime afterwards.

Yes, my wife does sleep with one eye open, why do you ask?


I prefer to have the dinner party guests take a piece of the body with them as they leave and dispose of it in the trash. If they do it correctly, the distribution pattern will look like a smiley face.
2012-10-11 03:11:39 PM
1 votes:

MayoBoy: For the last time, it's not cement, it's concrete. Cement is an ingredient in concrete but it also needs sand and an aggregate to make it concrete. Cement by itself has very little strength and you can't bury a body under it because it will crack in no time. It's like saying "we ate flour" instead of "we ate cake".

Now, if you're going to do it, do it right: First put the body in the freezer for several days so it's good and solid. Next take it outside and put it on a canvas tarp on the ground (not anything hard like stones, concrete, brick patio, etc.). Next don a tyvek suit and use an axe to cut the body into manageable sized pieces and double bag them in heavy duty trash bags You'll slice through the canvas a few times but nothing will be obvious enough for the authorities to decide to look there for DNA evidence.

Since it's frozen solid, there will be very little "splatter", hence no DNA to tie you to anything. Now to dispose of the pieces: a pig farm is good if you have access to one, other people's septic tanks are also good being sure to spread the parts around to lots of different tanks in lots of different places. Acid generally isn't a good idea because you have to leave it for a while to do its work and time is the enemy.

Be sure to pull any dental work that would identify the person as well as a few good teeth because if only the identifiable dental work is missing, it's a red flag. Finally, after all the parts are gone, burn the canvas tarp, the trash bags, the axe, the tyvek suit and the clothes you were wearing. Then get a new handle for the axe, resharpen it and put it away as usual. Fertilize the lawn, core aerate and water well. Even better, spread some lime afterwards.

Yes, my wife does sleep with one eye open, why do you ask?


You're the newest addition to my favorites list. (Note: "Planning to kill his wife")
2012-10-11 03:03:33 PM
1 votes:

MayoBoy: Fertilize the lawn, core aerate and water well. Even better, spread some lime afterwards.


I heard wearing cleated golf shoes was good for lawn areation, so I wear them when I'm mowing.
Also, One should always buy ahead on those big bags of lime.
You can get a small bag, one at a time it until you have a couple of 80 gallon trash bins full of it.
Never know when you're going to need a quarter ton of that good stuff.
2012-10-11 02:52:17 PM
1 votes:
So, I'm one of those Stay At Home Moms who does all that crafty children's crap that makes people want to choke me to death and publish it on my blog with hi-res, close-focused, cropped and captioned step-by-step pictures and I often have to buy pretty random stuff from the store to complete my insanly retarded projects. The kids' bday party is this weekend and we're playing with "hillbilly waterbeds" and giant plastic bubbles blown up with box fans so I had to get a bunch of duct tape, thick plastic sheeting, new box cutter blades, and I also happened to need some wire and a long section of flexible tubing for something else entirely. The check out girl said, "So... what are you doing with all this... stuff?" I said, "oh, it's for my kids :D" She laughed awkwardly, took my money and handed me the bags. The security guard came out to the parking lot after a few minutes to ask if I needed help with the bags. I said no thanks but he stood there and watched me load the trunk. He took my cart when I was done and I had the idea that I should maybe explain why I made the purchases I did, but I know when I worked in my pharmacy and druggies and meth smurfs would tell me these cockamamie stories it just made me hate them more so I figured I'd just smile and walk away.

Epic party at my house this weekend, btw.

And fark any adult who beats a child to death or hides a childs dead body "because I had to." fark you, loser piece of shiat.
2012-10-11 02:36:04 PM
1 votes:
Throw the book at that rich, heratless bastard!

"Williams looked calm as he rolled up a new set of cement bags to the store register"

A new set of cement bags? Oh Mr. Fancy Pants Money Bags is too good for a nice set of used cement bags I guess. farking 1%ers and their "Look at me, I'm better than everyone else" ways.
2012-10-11 02:32:54 PM
1 votes:

hdhale: vudukungfu: True story, bro/
We had a family reunion in PA last summer, and I drove down from VT. I reserved a camping spot, but on the long drive, I realized I had forgotten a rain fly and hatchet, which is odd, I have a dozen hatchets ate home and usually one in the car. So it's after dark on a rainy Friday when I pull into Lowes, and in kind of a hurry, I grab a hatchet, some clothesline and a huge tarp. And I get to the counter and pull out cash. The lady wants my phone number. Now I'm in PA, and been living in VT for 30 years, and not too happy about having to be in PA at all and not in a good mood after driving from Vermont to Pa all day long, so I just gritted my teeth and leaned in to her and said, "Look, lady. I'm just a guy on a cold, dark, rainy night trying to buy a hatchet, rope and tarp with no questions asked. Now do you have a problem with that? Or are we going to kill a sale here"? Well, she went as white as that gas station guy in No Country For Old Men, but she took the money and I left. I hate central PA, and I hate the hillbillies working at Lowes and I hate giving out personal information when making a cash sale. Screw her, screw Lowes, and screw central PA.
End True story Bro

You seem to want to screw a lot of people, do you have a sex addiction?


Out of all that, the fact that he owns a DOZEN hatchets didn't stand out?
2012-10-11 02:30:32 PM
1 votes:

vudukungfu: True story, bro/
We had a family reunion in PA last summer, and I drove down from VT. I reserved a camping spot, but on the long drive, I realized I had forgotten a rain fly and hatchet, which is odd, I have a dozen hatchets ate home and usually one in the car. So it's after dark on a rainy Friday when I pull into Lowes, and in kind of a hurry, I grab a hatchet, some clothesline and a huge tarp. And I get to the counter and pull out cash. The lady wants my phone number. Now I'm in PA, and been living in VT for 30 years, and not too happy about having to be in PA at all and not in a good mood after driving from Vermont to Pa all day long, so I just gritted my teeth and leaned in to her and said, "Look, lady. I'm just a guy on a cold, dark, rainy night trying to buy a hatchet, rope and tarp with no questions asked. Now do you have a problem with that? Or are we going to kill a sale here"? Well, she went as white as that gas station guy in No Country For Old Men, but she took the money and I left. I hate central PA, and I hate the hillbillies working at Lowes and I hate giving out personal information when making a cash sale. Screw her, screw Lowes, and screw central PA.
End True story Bro


You seem to want to screw a lot of people, do you have a sex addiction?
2012-10-11 02:07:50 PM
1 votes:
TFA SAYS "LOWE'S" NOT HOME DEPOT JEEEEEEEEZ
2012-10-11 02:07:19 PM
1 votes:

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Shadow Blasko: When I worked at Home Despot I had some guys come up to the contractor desk one night, who were obviously inibriated, carrying threaded pipe sections, drill bits, end caps, and some wire.

I just looked at them...and all I could say was "Who is the target?"

They said "Big Boy down the street. That Fiberglass bastard has got to go"

Me "You can do it, we can help"

/Then I had my manager price check the end caps (no stickers) and get the sheriff on the phone while he was at it. Sheriff who did... Nothing.


Maybe they were just messing with us, but my manager insisted it was on the level.

//Swear its all true.

Ah man, you almost blew that case wide open, Sgt Retail. Hopefully you'll do better on the mystery of the clogged toilet in the women's restroom.


Hopefully big boy got what was coming to him. Smug bastard.
2012-10-11 02:01:37 PM
1 votes:
1.bp.blogspot.com

Carbonite's the way to go, about 5 seconds and project's done.
2012-10-11 02:00:41 PM
1 votes:
"Instead, later that day Williams stuck his dead son, 2-year-old Rodricus Williams, headfirst into that trash can and covered him with that cement, according to prosecutors."

AAAHrgh. I'm not familiar with the story yet, don't drop That Trash Can on me.... Geeezus.
2012-10-11 01:59:47 PM
1 votes:
I'm kind of partial to using pigs myself. They will take care of bones and all
2012-10-11 01:56:14 PM
1 votes:
What an idiot. You don't mention that it's you're own dead child. You're just asking to be locked up. You say someone's dead child. You know, more generic. That way you don't arouse so much suspicion.
2012-10-11 01:55:44 PM
1 votes:
Motherfarkers like this need to be ass raped with a rusty machete.
2012-10-11 11:30:11 AM
1 votes:
As an ex lumber and building materials department manager, i can tell you it would have been the Quikrete 50 lb. Fast-Setting Concrete Mix
If its during the spring you wouldn't even have to pour water in the hole it for it to harden!
And its currently only.....

Alright I'm done, I feel bad already.
 
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