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(Charleston Post and Courier)   Questions Home Depot can't help with: What's the best type of cement to use for concealing the body of your own dead child?   (postandcourier.com) divider line 85
    More: Sick, Medical University of South Carolina, Moncks Corner, Roger Williams, Grace Trotman  
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8224 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Oct 2012 at 1:49 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-10-11 11:28:16 AM  
Pretty much any concrete mix will do, except for the self-leveling stuff.
 
2012-10-11 11:30:11 AM  
As an ex lumber and building materials department manager, i can tell you it would have been the Quikrete 50 lb. Fast-Setting Concrete Mix
If its during the spring you wouldn't even have to pour water in the hole it for it to harden!
And its currently only.....

Alright I'm done, I feel bad already.
 
2012-10-11 12:25:01 PM  
where is your 'cement shoe' mix?
 
2012-10-11 01:12:34 PM  
When I worked at Home Despot I had some guys come up to the contractor desk one night, who were obviously inibriated, carrying threaded pipe sections, drill bits, end caps, and some wire.

I just looked at them...and all I could say was "Who is the target?"

They said "Big Boy down the street. That Fiberglass bastard has got to go"

Me "You can do it, we can help"

/Then I had my manager price check the end caps (no stickers) and get the sheriff on the phone while he was at it. Sheriff who did... Nothing.


Maybe they were just messing with us, but my manager insisted it was on the level.

//Swear its all true.
 
2012-10-11 01:17:02 PM  

Shadow Blasko: When I worked at Home Despot I had some guys come up to the contractor desk one night, who were obviously inibriated, carrying threaded pipe sections, drill bits, end caps, and some wire.

I just looked at them...and all I could say was "Who is the target?"

They said "Big Boy down the street. That Fiberglass bastard has got to go"

Me "You can do it, we can help"

/Then I had my manager price check the end caps (no stickers) and get the sheriff on the phone while he was at it. Sheriff who did... Nothing.


Maybe they were just messing with us, but my manager insisted it was on the level.

//Swear its all true.


Pool/hot tub demolition, no biggie.
Get back to work.
 
2012-10-11 01:51:37 PM  
I just made one of those horrified 'rage' faces upon finishing reading the headline. WOWZA.
 
2012-10-11 01:52:28 PM  
You want the stuff with the fibers in it so it doesn't crack open like a cadbury egg and reveal the creamy yolk of dead child inside.
 
2012-10-11 01:53:37 PM  
Play Sand?
 
2012-10-11 01:54:14 PM  
I prefer portland cement.
 
2012-10-11 01:55:41 PM  

Headso: You want the stuff with the fibers in it so it doesn't crack open like a cadbury egg and reveal the creamy yolk of dead child inside.


Holy hell.

/non smoking please
//co-worker can't believe I laughed at that.
 
2012-10-11 01:55:44 PM  
Motherfarkers like this need to be ass raped with a rusty machete.
 
2012-10-11 01:56:07 PM  
Farkin big box stores. Go to Ace Hardware or a real lumber yard.
 
2012-10-11 01:56:14 PM  
What an idiot. You don't mention that it's you're own dead child. You're just asking to be locked up. You say someone's dead child. You know, more generic. That way you don't arouse so much suspicion.
 
2012-10-11 01:57:02 PM  
Hydroflouric acid in a polyethylene or polypropylene tub.
 
2012-10-11 01:57:35 PM  
Just poured, I would guess.
 
2012-10-11 01:57:51 PM  
What a horrific story. :(
 
2012-10-11 01:59:01 PM  

Nezorf: Shadow Blasko: When I worked at Home Despot I had some guys come up to the contractor desk one night, who were obviously inibriated, carrying threaded pipe sections, drill bits, end caps, and some wire.

I just looked at them...and all I could say was "Who is the target?"

They said "Big Boy down the street. That Fiberglass bastard has got to go"

Me "You can do it, we can help"

/Then I had my manager price check the end caps (no stickers) and get the sheriff on the phone while he was at it. Sheriff who did... Nothing.


Maybe they were just messing with us, but my manager insisted it was on the level.

//Swear its all true.

Pool/hot tub demolition, no biggie.
Get back to work.


what am I missing here?
 
2012-10-11 01:59:29 PM  
I'm confident some of the Home Depot employees at the one near me could assist.
 
2012-10-11 01:59:38 PM  

Atomic Spunk: You don't mention that it's you're own dead child.


You definitely shouldn't, since that makes zero sense grammatically.
 
2012-10-11 01:59:47 PM  
I'm kind of partial to using pigs myself. They will take care of bones and all
 
2012-10-11 02:00:16 PM  

Shadow Blasko: When I worked at Home Despot I had some guys come up to the contractor desk one night, who were obviously inibriated, carrying threaded pipe sections, drill bits, end caps, and some wire.

I just looked at them...and all I could say was "Who is the target?"

They said "Big Boy down the street. That Fiberglass bastard has got to go"

Me "You can do it, we can help"

/Then I had my manager price check the end caps (no stickers) and get the sheriff on the phone while he was at it. Sheriff who did... Nothing.


Maybe they were just messing with us, but my manager insisted it was on the level.

//Swear its all true.


Ah man, you almost blew that case wide open, Sgt Retail. Hopefully you'll do better on the mystery of the clogged toilet in the women's restroom.
 
2012-10-11 02:00:17 PM  

pute kisses like a man: what am I missing here?


Pipe bomb ingredients most likely.
 
2012-10-11 02:00:41 PM  
"Instead, later that day Williams stuck his dead son, 2-year-old Rodricus Williams, headfirst into that trash can and covered him with that cement, according to prosecutors."

AAAHrgh. I'm not familiar with the story yet, don't drop That Trash Can on me.... Geeezus.
 
2012-10-11 02:01:00 PM  
Cement Garden.
 
2012-10-11 02:01:37 PM  
1.bp.blogspot.com

Carbonite's the way to go, about 5 seconds and project's done.
 
2012-10-11 02:03:31 PM  
Instead, later that day Williams stuck his dead son, 2-year-old Rodricus Williams, headfirst into that trash can and covered him with that cement, according to prosecutors.

Yeah, that's totally not suspicious
 
2012-10-11 02:03:58 PM  
Dude, two year olds...
 
2012-10-11 02:04:30 PM  
I like Qwik-Crete. I add pea-gravel to get an aggregate with an attractive surface.
 
2012-10-11 02:05:02 PM  
My dad owned a hardware store for years. Once, some guy in town was busted for killing his parents and burying them in concrete in the basement. The wheelbarrow he used still had a sticker from my dad's store. They couldn't trace where the concrete came from, but he more than likely got that there, too.

/csb
//thanks for your purchase
///have a great day
 
2012-10-11 02:05:50 PM  
Lazy bastard couldn't even get off his ass long enough to dig a hole.
 
2012-10-11 02:06:02 PM  
*Sigh* One last time, people. You don't want cement, you want lime!
 
2012-10-11 02:06:21 PM  

Mr. Cat Poop: Motherfarkers like this need to be ass raped with a rusty machete.


I disagree. Being beaten to death by your family and then buried in cement should be enough punishment for even the most ungrateful of children.
 
2012-10-11 02:07:19 PM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Shadow Blasko: When I worked at Home Despot I had some guys come up to the contractor desk one night, who were obviously inibriated, carrying threaded pipe sections, drill bits, end caps, and some wire.

I just looked at them...and all I could say was "Who is the target?"

They said "Big Boy down the street. That Fiberglass bastard has got to go"

Me "You can do it, we can help"

/Then I had my manager price check the end caps (no stickers) and get the sheriff on the phone while he was at it. Sheriff who did... Nothing.


Maybe they were just messing with us, but my manager insisted it was on the level.

//Swear its all true.

Ah man, you almost blew that case wide open, Sgt Retail. Hopefully you'll do better on the mystery of the clogged toilet in the women's restroom.


Hopefully big boy got what was coming to him. Smug bastard.
 
2012-10-11 02:07:50 PM  
TFA SAYS "LOWE'S" NOT HOME DEPOT JEEEEEEEEZ
 
2012-10-11 02:10:02 PM  
I have a 2 year old child. That's the approximate age when they develop a sense of independence and freewill, but have limited ability to process cause and effect as relates to their actions. It can be frustrating.

Having said all that, if you are too immature to understand the above and be patient while they develop the ability to reason their way through issues rather than just crying and whining, then you should not have had the kid.

In cases like this, I think public stoning is warranted.

Put him mid-thigh deep in a 50 gallon barrel full of Lowes cement. When it hardens, cuff his hands behind his back, put a football helmet on him, and start with baseballs for a few hours. Hell, have a little batting practice (wooden bats of course - wouldn't want to end it too soon). Then tee up some golf balls. Then regulation bocce balls.

Then take the helmet off and do an old fashioned middle eastern stoning. Make in an eight hour day.

Yes, my internet tough guy card is current.
 
2012-10-11 02:11:11 PM  

Treygreen13: Atomic Spunk: You don't mention that it's you're own dead child.

You definitely shouldn't, since that makes zero sense grammatically.


And you don't want to deal with the police asking you has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like
 
2012-10-11 02:11:48 PM  
Something heavy in lime, I would imagine.
 
2012-10-11 02:12:10 PM  

H31N0US: I have a 2 year old child. That's the approximate age when they develop a sense of independence and freewill, but have limited ability to process cause and effect as relates to their actions. It can be frustrating.

Having said all that, if you are too immature to understand the above and be patient while they develop the ability to reason their way through issues rather than just crying and whining, then you should not have had the kid.

In cases like this, I think public stoning is warranted.

Put him mid-thigh deep in a 50 gallon barrel full of Lowes cement. When it hardens, cuff his hands behind his back, put a football helmet on him, and start with baseballs for a few hours. Hell, have a little batting practice (wooden bats of course - wouldn't want to end it too soon). Then tee up some golf balls. Then regulation bocce balls.

Then take the helmet off and do an old fashioned middle eastern stoning. Make in an eight hour day.

Yes, my internet tough guy card is current.


Of course he didn't kill the child. Nice try, but you missed.
 
2012-10-11 02:12:35 PM  

Private_Citizen: Hydroflouric acid in a polyethylene or polypropylene tub.


Come now, be practical. Just stick with the muriatic acid, as long as we're at home depot. That stuff works great as a drain cleaner, eating away at the grease and hair that makes up a clog or dead child.
 
2012-10-11 02:12:54 PM  

sirgeoph: TFA SAYS "LOWE'S" NOT HOME DEPOT JEEEEEEEEZ


Exactly, Home Depot can't help you with that question. That's why he went to Lowes.

Geeze.
 
2012-10-11 02:16:31 PM  

Treygreen13: Atomic Spunk: You don't mention that it's you're own dead child.

You definitely shouldn't, since that makes zero sense grammatically.


You, don't mention that!
It is?
You are!
Own [that] dead Child.
 
2012-10-11 02:18:34 PM  
So does it make me a self righteous judgemental coont if I think THIS bastard should go to jail? I'm trying to feel out this very issue...
 
2012-10-11 02:22:57 PM  

H31N0US: I have a 2 year old child. That's the approximate age when they develop a sense of independence and freewill, but have limited ability to process cause and effect as relates to their actions. It can be frustrating.

Having said all that, if you are too immature to understand the above and be patient while they develop the ability to reason their way through issues rather than just crying and whining, then you should not have had the kid.

In cases like this, I think public stoning is warranted.





Dude, you want to stone a 2 year old kid?
 
2012-10-11 02:26:51 PM  
True story, bro/
We had a family reunion in PA last summer, and I drove down from VT. I reserved a camping spot, but on the long drive, I realized I had forgotten a rain fly and hatchet, which is odd, I have a dozen hatchets ate home and usually one in the car. So it's after dark on a rainy Friday when I pull into Lowes, and in kind of a hurry, I grab a hatchet, some clothesline and a huge tarp. And I get to the counter and pull out cash. The lady wants my phone number. Now I'm in PA, and been living in VT for 30 years, and not too happy about having to be in PA at all and not in a good mood after driving from Vermont to Pa all day long, so I just gritted my teeth and leaned in to her and said, "Look, lady. I'm just a guy on a cold, dark, rainy night trying to buy a hatchet, rope and tarp with no questions asked. Now do you have a problem with that? Or are we going to kill a sale here"? Well, she went as white as that gas station guy in No Country For Old Men, but she took the money and I left. I hate central PA, and I hate the hillbillies working at Lowes and I hate giving out personal information when making a cash sale. Screw her, screw Lowes, and screw central PA.
End True story Bro
 
2012-10-11 02:30:32 PM  

vudukungfu: True story, bro/
We had a family reunion in PA last summer, and I drove down from VT. I reserved a camping spot, but on the long drive, I realized I had forgotten a rain fly and hatchet, which is odd, I have a dozen hatchets ate home and usually one in the car. So it's after dark on a rainy Friday when I pull into Lowes, and in kind of a hurry, I grab a hatchet, some clothesline and a huge tarp. And I get to the counter and pull out cash. The lady wants my phone number. Now I'm in PA, and been living in VT for 30 years, and not too happy about having to be in PA at all and not in a good mood after driving from Vermont to Pa all day long, so I just gritted my teeth and leaned in to her and said, "Look, lady. I'm just a guy on a cold, dark, rainy night trying to buy a hatchet, rope and tarp with no questions asked. Now do you have a problem with that? Or are we going to kill a sale here"? Well, she went as white as that gas station guy in No Country For Old Men, but she took the money and I left. I hate central PA, and I hate the hillbillies working at Lowes and I hate giving out personal information when making a cash sale. Screw her, screw Lowes, and screw central PA.
End True story Bro


You seem to want to screw a lot of people, do you have a sex addiction?
 
2012-10-11 02:32:54 PM  

hdhale: vudukungfu: True story, bro/
We had a family reunion in PA last summer, and I drove down from VT. I reserved a camping spot, but on the long drive, I realized I had forgotten a rain fly and hatchet, which is odd, I have a dozen hatchets ate home and usually one in the car. So it's after dark on a rainy Friday when I pull into Lowes, and in kind of a hurry, I grab a hatchet, some clothesline and a huge tarp. And I get to the counter and pull out cash. The lady wants my phone number. Now I'm in PA, and been living in VT for 30 years, and not too happy about having to be in PA at all and not in a good mood after driving from Vermont to Pa all day long, so I just gritted my teeth and leaned in to her and said, "Look, lady. I'm just a guy on a cold, dark, rainy night trying to buy a hatchet, rope and tarp with no questions asked. Now do you have a problem with that? Or are we going to kill a sale here"? Well, she went as white as that gas station guy in No Country For Old Men, but she took the money and I left. I hate central PA, and I hate the hillbillies working at Lowes and I hate giving out personal information when making a cash sale. Screw her, screw Lowes, and screw central PA.
End True story Bro

You seem to want to screw a lot of people, do you have a sex addiction?


Out of all that, the fact that he owns a DOZEN hatchets didn't stand out?
 
2012-10-11 02:35:03 PM  

Treygreen13: Out of all that, the fact that he owns a DOZEN hatchets didn't stand out?


It's like owning a dozen guns. At some point, what difference does it make? He's only got so many arms.
 
2012-10-11 02:36:04 PM  
Throw the book at that rich, heratless bastard!

"Williams looked calm as he rolled up a new set of cement bags to the store register"

A new set of cement bags? Oh Mr. Fancy Pants Money Bags is too good for a nice set of used cement bags I guess. farking 1%ers and their "Look at me, I'm better than everyone else" ways.
 
2012-10-11 02:38:23 PM  
vudukungfu: True story, bro/
We had a family reunion in PA last summer, and I drove down from VT. I reserved a camping spot, but on the long drive, I realized I had forgotten a rain fly and hatchet, which is odd, I have a dozen hatchets ate home and usually one in the car. So it's after dark on a rainy Friday when I pull into Lowes, and in kind of a hurry, I grab a hatchet, some clothesline and a huge tarp. And I get to the counter and pull out cash. The lady wants my phone number. Now I'm in PA, and been living in VT for 30 years, and not too happy about having to be in PA at all and not in a good mood after driving from Vermont to Pa all day long, so I just gritted my teeth and leaned in to her and said, "Look, lady. I'm just a guy on a cold, dark, rainy night trying to buy a hatchet, rope and tarp with no questions asked. Now do you have a problem with that? Or are we going to kill a sale here"? Well, she went as white as that gas station guy in No Country For Old Men, but she took the money and I left. I hate central PA, and I hate the hillbillies working at Lowes and I hate giving out personal information when making a cash sale. Screw her, screw Lowes, and screw central PA.
End True story Bro


I LOLed
 
2012-10-11 02:40:11 PM  

The All-Powerful Atheismo: H31N0US: I have a 2 year old child. That's the approximate age when they develop a sense of independence and freewill, but have limited ability to process cause and effect as relates to their actions. It can be frustrating.

Having said all that, if you are too immature to understand the above and be patient while they develop the ability to reason their way through issues rather than just crying and whining, then you should not have had the kid.

In cases like this, I think public stoning is warranted.

Put him mid-thigh deep in a 50 gallon barrel full of Lowes cement. When it hardens, cuff his hands behind his back, put a football helmet on him, and start with baseballs for a few hours. Hell, have a little batting practice (wooden bats of course - wouldn't want to end it too soon). Then tee up some golf balls. Then regulation bocce balls.

Then take the helmet off and do an old fashioned middle eastern stoning. Make in an eight hour day.

Yes, my internet tough guy card is current.

Of course he didn't kill the child. Nice try, but you missed.


The guy buying the concrete? Um, yeah, he did. From TFA:

"Williams has been charged with homicide by child abuse."

"Batalis determined the toddler died of homicidal violence and probable blunt head injury"
 
2012-10-11 02:42:28 PM  
Let me see, make sure i got everything, duct tape, nylon rope, ten pulleys, eye bolts, motor oil, leather razor strap, cattle prod, electric charcoal starter, blow torch and uhh...something I'm forgetting.....OH YEAH, do you sell condoms?
 
2012-10-11 02:49:23 PM  
There is a Republican candidate for the state legislture who actually advocates this sort of thing.
 
2012-10-11 02:50:01 PM  

ravenlore: The All-Powerful Atheismo: H31N0US: I have a 2 year old child. That's the approximate age when they develop a sense of independence and freewill, but have limited ability to process cause and effect as relates to their actions. It can be frustrating.

Having said all that, if you are too immature to understand the above and be patient while they develop the ability to reason their way through issues rather than just crying and whining, then you should not have had the kid.

In cases like this, I think public stoning is warranted.

Put him mid-thigh deep in a 50 gallon barrel full of Lowes cement. When it hardens, cuff his hands behind his back, put a football helmet on him, and start with baseballs for a few hours. Hell, have a little batting practice (wooden bats of course - wouldn't want to end it too soon). Then tee up some golf balls. Then regulation bocce balls.

Then take the helmet off and do an old fashioned middle eastern stoning. Make in an eight hour day.

Yes, my internet tough guy card is current.

Of course he didn't kill the child. Nice try, but you missed.

The guy buying the concrete? Um, yeah, he did. From TFA:

"Williams has been charged with homicide by child abuse."

"Batalis determined the toddler died of homicidal violence and probable blunt head injury"


Try reading the entire article.
 
2012-10-11 02:52:17 PM  
So, I'm one of those Stay At Home Moms who does all that crafty children's crap that makes people want to choke me to death and publish it on my blog with hi-res, close-focused, cropped and captioned step-by-step pictures and I often have to buy pretty random stuff from the store to complete my insanly retarded projects. The kids' bday party is this weekend and we're playing with "hillbilly waterbeds" and giant plastic bubbles blown up with box fans so I had to get a bunch of duct tape, thick plastic sheeting, new box cutter blades, and I also happened to need some wire and a long section of flexible tubing for something else entirely. The check out girl said, "So... what are you doing with all this... stuff?" I said, "oh, it's for my kids :D" She laughed awkwardly, took my money and handed me the bags. The security guard came out to the parking lot after a few minutes to ask if I needed help with the bags. I said no thanks but he stood there and watched me load the trunk. He took my cart when I was done and I had the idea that I should maybe explain why I made the purchases I did, but I know when I worked in my pharmacy and druggies and meth smurfs would tell me these cockamamie stories it just made me hate them more so I figured I'd just smile and walk away.

Epic party at my house this weekend, btw.

And fark any adult who beats a child to death or hides a childs dead body "because I had to." fark you, loser piece of shiat.
 
2012-10-11 02:54:44 PM  
For the last time, it's not cement, it's concrete. Cement is an ingredient in concrete but it also needs sand and an aggregate to make it concrete. Cement by itself has very little strength and you can't bury a body under it because it will crack in no time. It's like saying "we ate flour" instead of "we ate cake".

Now, if you're going to do it, do it right: First put the body in the freezer for several days so it's good and solid. Next take it outside and put it on a canvas tarp on the ground (not anything hard like stones, concrete, brick patio, etc.). Next don a tyvek suit and use an axe to cut the body into manageable sized pieces and double bag them in heavy duty trash bags You'll slice through the canvas a few times but nothing will be obvious enough for the authorities to decide to look there for DNA evidence.

Since it's frozen solid, there will be very little "splatter", hence no DNA to tie you to anything. Now to dispose of the pieces: a pig farm is good if you have access to one, other people's septic tanks are also good being sure to spread the parts around to lots of different tanks in lots of different places. Acid generally isn't a good idea because you have to leave it for a while to do its work and time is the enemy.

Be sure to pull any dental work that would identify the person as well as a few good teeth because if only the identifiable dental work is missing, it's a red flag. Finally, after all the parts are gone, burn the canvas tarp, the trash bags, the axe, the tyvek suit and the clothes you were wearing. Then get a new handle for the axe, resharpen it and put it away as usual. Fertilize the lawn, core aerate and water well. Even better, spread some lime afterwards.

Yes, my wife does sleep with one eye open, why do you ask?
 
2012-10-11 02:57:51 PM  

hdhale:
You seem to want to screw a lot of people, do you have a sex addiction?


You ask a lot of questions.
Like that lady who used to work at Lowes.
 
2012-10-11 03:00:37 PM  
I'd go with the hydraulic cement myself,
 
2012-10-11 03:01:23 PM  

vudukungfu: True story, bro/
We had a family reunion in PA last summer, and I drove down from VT. I reserved a camping spot, but on the long drive, I realized I had forgotten a rain fly and hatchet, which is odd, I have a dozen hatchets ate home and usually one in the car. So it's after dark on a rainy Friday when I pull into Lowes, and in kind of a hurry, I grab a hatchet, some clothesline and a huge tarp. And I get to the counter and pull out cash. The lady wants my phone number. Now I'm in PA, and been living in VT for 30 years, and not too happy about having to be in PA at all and not in a good mood after driving from Vermont to Pa all day long, so I just gritted my teeth and leaned in to her and said, "Look, lady. I'm just a guy on a cold, dark, rainy night trying to buy a hatchet, rope and tarp with no questions asked. Now do you have a problem with that? Or are we going to kill a sale here"? Well, she went as white as that gas station guy in No Country For Old Men, but she took the money and I left. I hate central PA, and I hate the hillbillies working at Lowes and I hate giving out personal information when making a cash sale. Screw her, screw Lowes, and screw central PA.
End True story Bro


You mean she didn't stall while her manager called the police!?
 
2012-10-11 03:02:03 PM  

wildcardjack: Private_Citizen: Hydroflouric acid in a polyethylene or polypropylene tub.

Come now, be practical. Just stick with the muriatic acid, as long as we're at home depot. That stuff works great as a drain cleaner, eating away at the grease and hair that makes up a clog or dead child.


It's probably been said already but strong bases work better.
 
2012-10-11 03:02:56 PM  
You can hide the body in anything, but you're going to want something less pourous than concrete once the body starts to break down. Concrete weeps.
 
2012-10-11 03:03:33 PM  

MayoBoy: Fertilize the lawn, core aerate and water well. Even better, spread some lime afterwards.


I heard wearing cleated golf shoes was good for lawn areation, so I wear them when I'm mowing.
Also, One should always buy ahead on those big bags of lime.
You can get a small bag, one at a time it until you have a couple of 80 gallon trash bins full of it.
Never know when you're going to need a quarter ton of that good stuff.
 
2012-10-11 03:04:17 PM  

hogans: *Sigh* One last time, people. You don't want cement, you want lime!


i1.kym-cdn.com
Oh he tried to hide the body that way, but unfortunately he didn't understand homonyms.
 
2012-10-11 03:11:39 PM  

MayoBoy: For the last time, it's not cement, it's concrete. Cement is an ingredient in concrete but it also needs sand and an aggregate to make it concrete. Cement by itself has very little strength and you can't bury a body under it because it will crack in no time. It's like saying "we ate flour" instead of "we ate cake".

Now, if you're going to do it, do it right: First put the body in the freezer for several days so it's good and solid. Next take it outside and put it on a canvas tarp on the ground (not anything hard like stones, concrete, brick patio, etc.). Next don a tyvek suit and use an axe to cut the body into manageable sized pieces and double bag them in heavy duty trash bags You'll slice through the canvas a few times but nothing will be obvious enough for the authorities to decide to look there for DNA evidence.

Since it's frozen solid, there will be very little "splatter", hence no DNA to tie you to anything. Now to dispose of the pieces: a pig farm is good if you have access to one, other people's septic tanks are also good being sure to spread the parts around to lots of different tanks in lots of different places. Acid generally isn't a good idea because you have to leave it for a while to do its work and time is the enemy.

Be sure to pull any dental work that would identify the person as well as a few good teeth because if only the identifiable dental work is missing, it's a red flag. Finally, after all the parts are gone, burn the canvas tarp, the trash bags, the axe, the tyvek suit and the clothes you were wearing. Then get a new handle for the axe, resharpen it and put it away as usual. Fertilize the lawn, core aerate and water well. Even better, spread some lime afterwards.

Yes, my wife does sleep with one eye open, why do you ask?


You're the newest addition to my favorites list. (Note: "Planning to kill his wife")
 
2012-10-11 03:20:36 PM  

Anne.Uumellmahaye: Epic party at my house this weekend, btw.


Damn. I'm there, ma'am. I'll be bringing my childhood self, my kid, and every other person I've ever met who isn't dead inside. Uhh... Joke not intended there.
 
2012-10-11 03:23:33 PM  

The All-Powerful Atheismo: ravenlore: The All-Powerful Atheismo: H31N0US: I have a 2 year old child. That's the approximate age when they develop a sense of independence and freewill, but have limited ability to process cause and effect as relates to their actions. It can be frustrating.

Having said all that, if you are too immature to understand the above and be patient while they develop the ability to reason their way through issues rather than just crying and whining, then you should not have had the kid.

In cases like this, I think public stoning is warranted.

Put him mid-thigh deep in a 50 gallon barrel full of Lowes cement. When it hardens, cuff his hands behind his back, put a football helmet on him, and start with baseballs for a few hours. Hell, have a little batting practice (wooden bats of course - wouldn't want to end it too soon). Then tee up some golf balls. Then regulation bocce balls.

Then take the helmet off and do an old fashioned middle eastern stoning. Make in an eight hour day.

Yes, my internet tough guy card is current.

Of course he didn't kill the child. Nice try, but you missed.

The guy buying the concrete? Um, yeah, he did. From TFA:

"Williams has been charged with homicide by child abuse."

"Batalis determined the toddler died of homicidal violence and probable blunt head injury"

Try reading the entire article.


What?

*re-reads*

Oh...mom did it, not dad.

That article is about as clear as mud.

Also, I apologize for only reading half.
 
2012-10-11 03:23:55 PM  

MayoBoy: For the last time, it's not cement, it's concrete. Cement is an ingredient in concrete but it also needs sand and an aggregate to make it concrete. Cement by itself has very little strength and you can't bury a body under it because it will crack in no time. It's like saying "we ate flour" instead of "we ate cake".

Now, if you're going to do it, do it right: First put the body in the freezer for several days so it's good and solid. Next take it outside and put it on a canvas tarp on the ground (not anything hard like stones, concrete, brick patio, etc.). Next don a tyvek suit and use an axe to cut the body into manageable sized pieces and double bag them in heavy duty trash bags You'll slice through the canvas a few times but nothing will be obvious enough for the authorities to decide to look there for DNA evidence.

Since it's frozen solid, there will be very little "splatter", hence no DNA to tie you to anything. Now to dispose of the pieces: a pig farm is good if you have access to one, other people's septic tanks are also good being sure to spread the parts around to lots of different tanks in lots of different places. Acid generally isn't a good idea because you have to leave it for a while to do its work and time is the enemy.

Be sure to pull any dental work that would identify the person as well as a few good teeth because if only the identifiable dental work is missing, it's a red flag. Finally, after all the parts are gone, burn the canvas tarp, the trash bags, the axe, the tyvek suit and the clothes you were wearing. Then get a new handle for the axe, resharpen it and put it away as usual. Fertilize the lawn, core aerate and water well. Even better, spread some lime afterwards.

Yes, my wife does sleep with one eye open, why do you ask?


I prefer to have the dinner party guests take a piece of the body with them as they leave and dispose of it in the trash. If they do it correctly, the distribution pattern will look like a smiley face.
 
2012-10-11 03:25:40 PM  
Reminds me of a killing back where I grew up in Ventura County, CA. Woman decided to kill her lovers wife (most likely with his suggestion, but he didn't get his hands dirty). So she rented a car (in her own name), bought a wig (in her own name) bought a rent-a-cop uniform (in her own name) and a hatchet (you get the idea). She kidnapped the wife from a Target parking lot by telling her that she was store security, then drove her up to the Ojai mountains and hacked her to death. But she left a large blood stain in the back seat.

So she starts calling around to dry cleaners asking how to get blood stains out of the rentals upolstory (which she didn't manage to do)

Last I heard, she went to jail for a very long time.
 
2012-10-11 03:27:49 PM  

ravenlore: The All-Powerful Atheismo: ravenlore: The All-Powerful Atheismo: H31N0US: I have a 2 year old child. That's the approximate age when they develop a sense of independence and freewill, but have limited ability to process cause and effect as relates to their actions. It can be frustrating.

Having said all that, if you are too immature to understand the above and be patient while they develop the ability to reason their way through issues rather than just crying and whining, then you should not have had the kid.

In cases like this, I think public stoning is warranted.

Put him mid-thigh deep in a 50 gallon barrel full of Lowes cement. When it hardens, cuff his hands behind his back, put a football helmet on him, and start with baseballs for a few hours. Hell, have a little batting practice (wooden bats of course - wouldn't want to end it too soon). Then tee up some golf balls. Then regulation bocce balls.

Then take the helmet off and do an old fashioned middle eastern stoning. Make in an eight hour day.

Yes, my internet tough guy card is current.

Of course he didn't kill the child. Nice try, but you missed.

The guy buying the concrete? Um, yeah, he did. From TFA:

"Williams has been charged with homicide by child abuse."

"Batalis determined the toddler died of homicidal violence and probable blunt head injury"

Try reading the entire article.

What?

*re-reads*

Oh...mom did it, not dad.

That article is about as clear as mud.

Also, I apologize for only reading half.


To be fair, it was apparently the result of long term abuse. Maybe both of them were doing that.
 
2012-10-11 03:38:47 PM  

2KanZam: In cases like this, I think public stoning is warranted.


Dude, you want to stone a 2 year old kid?


Deuteronomy 21:18-21. Children who are unruly should be taken to the city gates and stoned to death.
 
2012-10-11 03:39:19 PM  

Eirik: Reminds me of a killing back where I grew up in Ventura County, CA. Woman decided to kill her lovers wife (most likely with his suggestion, but he didn't get his hands dirty). So she rented a car (in her own name), bought a wig (in her own name) bought a rent-a-cop uniform (in her own name) and a hatchet (you get the idea). She kidnapped the wife from a Target parking lot by telling her that she was store security, then drove her up to the Ojai mountains and hacked her to death. But she left a large blood stain in the back seat.

So she starts calling around to dry cleaners asking how to get blood stains out of the rentals upolstory (which she didn't manage to do)

Last I heard, she went to jail for a very long time.


The husband worked at the Von's grocery store by my house on Thompson Blvd (I think the wife did too), I'll never forget how creepy that was.
 
2012-10-11 04:05:30 PM  

Private_Citizen: Hydroflouric acid in a polyethylene or polypropylene tub.


Yeah, HF would do it.
 
2012-10-11 05:49:08 PM  

Private_Citizen: Hydroflouric acid in a polyethylene or polypropylene tub.


The bath tub should work just fine.
 
2012-10-11 06:10:17 PM  
if your smart, you order it from Amazon.com

then leave positive feedback saying how well it worked for burying your kid
 
2012-10-11 06:36:52 PM  

Langdon Alger: Let me see, make sure i got everything, duct tape, nylon rope, ten pulleys, eye bolts, motor oil, leather razor strap, cattle prod, electric charcoal starter, blow torch and uhh...something I'm forgetting.....OH YEAH, do you sell condoms?


"I don't know what you have planned for tonight, Homer, but you can count me out."
 
2012-10-11 07:33:02 PM  
Home Depot probably couldn't help you find the right size nut for a 3/8-16 bolt.
Part of the problem may also be that Home Depot's 3/8-16 nuts may be of a different size, since one is manufactured in eastern China and the other in western China and measurements just might translate differently in different parts of the cheap labor world.

/hate that place with a passion
 
2012-10-11 07:59:24 PM  
Gunite. You want gunite.
 
2012-10-11 08:16:35 PM  

Oldiron_79: I'm kind of partial to using pigs myself. They will take care of bones and all


Can you find human dna in pig shiat? If anyone thought to look, that is.
 
2012-10-11 08:22:41 PM  
What was this idiot planning on doing with a garbage can full of hard concrete? Pretty sure Lowes rents woodchippers.
 
2012-10-11 08:28:08 PM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Shadow Blasko: When I worked at Home Despot I had some guys come up to the contractor desk one night, who were obviously inibriated, carrying threaded pipe sections, drill bits, end caps, and some wire.

I just looked at them...and all I could say was "Who is the target?"

They said "Big Boy down the street. That Fiberglass bastard has got to go"

Me "You can do it, we can help"

/Then I had my manager price check the end caps (no stickers) and get the sheriff on the phone while he was at it. Sheriff who did... Nothing.


Maybe they were just messing with us, but my manager insisted it was on the level.

//Swear its all true.

Ah man, you almost blew that case wide open, Sgt Retail. Hopefully you'll do better on the mystery of the clogged toilet in the women's restroom.


Hey, I was just doing it because I had a friend who did the hiring there and they needed the help.

Of course there is more to the story.. They actually said they were trying to make a pipe bomb. Asked about thread sealant and everything.. It's not a case of "They could have been building something and I decided to cause them trouble" they admitted it to me and my manager.

*shrugs* ..
 
2012-10-12 01:15:34 AM  
This is a trick question. The correct answer is "None." Just drive your dead kid around in the trunk of your car for a while until you figure out where to dump the body. It certainly worked for Tot-Mom.
 
2012-10-12 01:23:46 AM  

hogans: *Sigh* One last time, people. You don't want cement, you want lime!


but not too many, fella
 
2012-10-12 05:44:13 AM  
Ask these two:

0.tqn.com
 
2012-10-12 09:56:05 AM  

Dedmon: Private_Citizen: Hydroflouric acid in a polyethylene or polypropylene tub.

The bath tub should work just fine.


you're gonna need a lot of baking soda
 
2012-10-12 10:18:49 AM  

Amphipath: Hopefully big boy got what was coming to him. Smug bastard.


Noooooooo

www.macandchris.com
 
2012-10-12 01:29:22 PM  
namegoeshere: Oldiron_79: I'm kind of partial to using pigs myself. They will take care of bones and all

Can you find human dna in pig shiat? If anyone thought to look, that is.


I doubt it, the enzymes in the digestive tract should destroy it, and even if it doesn't it would be contaminated with pig DNA
 
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