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(ABC)   Happy National Coming Out Day. Is there anything you would like to tell us?   (abcnews.go.com) divider line 242
    More: Cool, National Coming Out Day, Stonewall Inn, Golden Gate Park, Harvey Milk, officials, rights movement, City supervisor, Human Rights Campaign  
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1827 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Oct 2012 at 9:50 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-10-11 11:02:57 AM  
Should we have a National Coming In Night with a choice of orifices to chose from?
 
2012-10-11 11:03:20 AM  

Gaseous Anomaly: rdu_voyager: I'm atheist and live in the South. Sometimes I think it'd be easier to come out as gay instead of atheist.

There's at least one other atheist in your city: me. And I feel your pain.

I'm not particularly secretive about it (my Facebook profile lists "nonpracticing atheist") but neither am I forceful. Though during the derpfest in May about our anti-gay-marriage amendment I considered converting to a Hitchens-style obnoxious-asshole atheist.


Hey! Someone from my neck of the woods.
 
2012-10-11 11:06:09 AM  

Lusiphur: WTFDYW: There are no kids. We're both in our 50's, so I guess we both figure it's to late to start all over again. I have considered finding a "fark" buddy from time to time though.

It's never too late. I know it's hard, and it's terrifying, but you'll move on, and one day you'll meet someone new that will think you're the most awesome thing ever, and it will have all been worth it.

More to the point, I've never actually told this to anyone except my ex-wife, current fiance, and brother, but I'm a straight-identified male who is occasionally attracted to other men.

This is probably not the best place to come out, but since I've been stuck at home recovering form a surgery, it'll have to do.


I lived a very passable hetero life in denial. It's not a healthy existence. The most important "coming out" is to yourself. Welcome, friend.

And heal up soon.
 
2012-10-11 11:13:32 AM  
Yay, my first greenlight!

I'm straight, but I consider myself an ally; I've have had several gay friends and been to like five pride festivals over the years. I just love the fact that fewer and fewer people seem to be opposed to homosexuality (and in particular, equal rights for same-sex couples). Maybe one day we'll live in a world where there doesn't need to be a "national coming out day" because nobody will need to be in the closet in the first place.
 
2012-10-11 11:13:52 AM  

Diogenes: I lived a very passable hetero life in denial. It's not a healthy existence. The most important "coming out" is to yourself. Welcome, friend.

And heal up soon.


Thanks!

I'm still comfortable being outwardly hetero for all intents and purposes, which is why I've never bothered to "come out" so to speak, but if pushed I'll gladly describe myself as a little queer around the edges.

I'm just glad we've finally gotten to the point as a society where I can identify what I am and not feel like a complete misfit in every camp. When I came out to my brother, he asked why I didn't come out as bi. I told him I'd feel that was too much rounding, since I can't ever see myself in a romantic relationship with a guy.

So anyway, to cut this CSB short, umm....wooo!
 
2012-10-11 11:15:32 AM  
It's true. I am a dude who likes dudes.
 
2012-10-11 11:16:22 AM  

susansto-helit: I came out as bisexual in high school. At 34, I still am. This confuses people.


you're still in high school?
 
2012-10-11 11:17:00 AM  

plc5_250: Jon iz teh kewl: i'm coming out as a musician. anyone want to be in my band??

Do you need a bass player?


Do you play largemouth or smallmouth?
 
2012-10-11 11:17:49 AM  
I've "come out" as bisexual to my friends and my sister over the last couple of years but not my parents yet - not because I don't think they wouldn't be supportive, but because at this point I'd rather it not be a big event. If they ask me I'll tell them but I if I wouldn't make a big deal over being straight why should I make a big deal over being bisexual.

That said, it was definitely a struggle from middle school through college (I'm 27 now) always having that information in the back of your head and not feeling like you can confide it to the people you are supposed to be close with. It undoubtedly ruined my last relationship because I felt like I was lying to my girlfriend every day I didn't tell her. Not fun.

Long story short (too late) I can say that being honest about that part of myself, while not broadcasting to to the world, has made a world of difference to my personal wellbeing and enjoyment of life. So, if anyone is on the fence about coming out - I would definitely say DO IT, even if it's just to one person.

/CSB 
//Hoping my lunch date today goes well *wink wink*
///slashies
 
2012-10-11 11:17:53 AM  
I caused the great housing market crash, and told Bear Stearns how to get away with a trillion of your dollars.
 
2012-10-11 11:18:31 AM  
poop is coming out.
 
2012-10-11 11:20:03 AM  
I kissed a girl and she didn't taste anything like cherry chap-stick....more like rum and falafel.

That Katy Perry is full of shiat.
 
2012-10-11 11:20:36 AM  

miss diminutive: I kissed a girl and she didn't taste anything like cherry chap-stick....more like rum and falafel.

That Katy Perry is full of shiat.


Pics or it didn't happen.
 
2012-10-11 11:22:28 AM  
I wasn't born this way.
 
2012-10-11 11:23:11 AM  

rdu_voyager: I'm atheist and live in the South. Sometimes I think it'd be easier to come out as gay instead of atheist.


I'm a gay atheist and your right most people are ok with sucking dick but not that you don't have imaginary friends.
 
2012-10-11 11:24:54 AM  

jack21221: Yay, my first greenlight!

I'm straight, but I consider myself an ally; I've have had several gay friends and been to like five pride festivals over the years. I just love the fact that fewer and fewer people seem to be opposed to homosexuality (and in particular, equal rights for same-sex couples). Maybe one day we'll live in a world where there doesn't need to be a "national coming out day" because nobody will need to be in the closet in the first place.


Schools are the last frontier. If kids can feel completely comfortable in their own sexuality/gender at a young age, it'll lead to much better mental health in the future and a better society. This isn't a statement against bullying necessarily--kids are cruel and bullying will probably always exist to some extent. But bashing kids for perceived queerness needs to get parity with bashing kids for being black or Latino: socially repugnant.

Marriage is a huge piece of that puzzle. Kids must know they can have a bright, happy future ahead of them if they seek it.
 
2012-10-11 11:26:04 AM  
For those of you coming out:

The only people who are gonna give you hell about being gay are jackasses. Consider yourself lucky - you have a built-in jackass detector.

Personally, I think the idea of gay sex is icky, but chances are I do some stuff that y'all would think is icky, too.

Just don't be one of those overly-gay "I have to make a comment every ten minutes that indicates my sexual preference to everyone around me" people. Being gay is not a license for AWing.


/end PSA
 
2012-10-11 11:26:16 AM  
I liked Voyager and Enterprise
 
2012-10-11 11:26:25 AM  

stpauler: Twenty years ago I came out of the closet. I saw a pretty horrible landscape out there. In the liberal state of Minnesota where I lived, it was still a criminal offense to engage in homosexual sex acts.

Then Ellen came out.

Clinton created DADT which at the time was considered by most to be a step in the right direction at least.

A slow progress where we saw things like Lawrence v Texas, Massachusetts legalize marriage, and President Obama repeal DADT and allow us to serve openly. The DNC have even added marriage to their platform for the first time.

Minnesota now has a ballot initiative to define marriage and while I hope it fails, I know that we as a human race will still slowly steamroll over the rest of the bigots until they are on the fringes instead.


I feel as though I should apologize on behalf of the other half of Minnesotans for the fact that this is on the ballot.

/and that I should apologize to the nation for Michelle Bachman
 
2012-10-11 11:27:11 AM  
In 30 U.S. states, "National Coming Out Day" might be more appropiately known as "Your Queer Ass Is Fired Eve".
 
2012-10-11 11:27:34 AM  

miss diminutive: I kissed a girl and she didn't taste anything like cherry chap-stick....more like rum and falafel.

That Katy Perry is full of shiat.


Yeah. Everyone knows Burt's Bees is where it's at.
 
2012-10-11 11:28:43 AM  
I am a white heterosexual male... AKA the new minority.
 
2012-10-11 11:30:39 AM  

thelordofcheese: Great Janitor: I crashed the boat into the dam

I broke the dam.


Does that mean I can't get on the dam tour? Who is going to answer all my dam questions?
 
2012-10-11 11:32:12 AM  

Lusiphur: I told him I'd feel that was too much rounding, since I can't ever see myself in a romantic relationship with a guy.


Why not?
 
2012-10-11 11:34:45 AM  

kiwimoogle84: WTFDYW: susansto-helit: WTFDYW: I'm married and haven't had sex for going on nine years ;-(

That's not marriage. That's a roommate housemate.

We haven't slept in the same room for that long either.

I second that notion. I've been trying to talk several male friends out of their miserable marriages for a while now. Y'all are some stubborn motherfarkers.


Divorce is a very expensive unknown - especially if there are minor children in the mix somewhere.
 
2012-10-11 11:34:59 AM  

kimwim: Great Janitor: I am a raging lesbian trapped in a man's body

I'm a raging homo trapped in a woman's body. We should hook up.


Not sure if serious...

But actually, yes. I've lived a whole lotta years as a typical (though "sensitive") heterosexual male. The past few, for reasons not particularly important right now, I've started exploring crossdressing, and found that there is a very strong but (heretofore) quiet part of my psyche that identifies as female...but as a lesbian. Strongly enough that I've considered some body modification to allow me to more naturally allow me to switch back and forth my outward persona to match who I feel like each day.

There are only about a half-dozen people who know this. A few of my close female friends, one of my exes, and my wife. My son knows I'm a CD, but I haven't come to grips with myself enough to let him see me in feminine clothing outside of what I might wear to sleep in.

There's something about being genuinely called a "good girl" that just makes me blush happily to my core. But I also have no emotional attraction to men, even in my femme persona. I'd rather have a woman ride me with a strap-on than actually be sexually with a(nother) guy.

I just wish my wife were willing. She tries to be supportive, at least as far as some in-private dressing is concerned, but I didn't discover this until long after we were married and had a son...so it's been a major contributing strain on everything in our relationship. (Though there've been plenty of other things adding to the stress...) But *her* past is such that...well, that's another story. And I've been told in no uncertain terms that if I embark on any hormone therapy or body modification, that the marriage will be over...not out of meanness, but to her I would no longer be the person she married (which is true, at least for the physical aspect of things) and marriage equality doesn't exist where we live.

So for the TL;DR version, I'm exclusively attracted to women emotionally and sexually, just like any other genetic heterosexual male, but my gender identity is fluid enough to be taboo.
 
2012-10-11 11:38:09 AM  

EZ Writer: I am a white heterosexual male... AKA the new minority.


helpwe'rebeingoppressed.jpg
 
2012-10-11 11:38:45 AM  

PabloHosehead: I'd rather have a woman ride me with a strap-on than actually be sexually with a(nother) guy.


that's hot
 
2012-10-11 11:38:56 AM  
This explains my cousin's Facebook post this morning. But it's not like we all didn't already know.
 
2012-10-11 11:39:38 AM  

plc5_250: kiwimoogle84: WTFDYW: susansto-helit: WTFDYW: I'm married and haven't had sex for going on nine years ;-(

That's not marriage. That's a roommate housemate.

We haven't slept in the same room for that long either.

I second that notion. I've been trying to talk several male friends out of their miserable marriages for a while now. Y'all are some stubborn motherfarkers.

Divorce is a very expensive unknown - especially if there are minor children in the mix somewhere.


He said he didn't.

And divorce is better than misery.

I can always earn more money. I can't get those miserable years back.
 
2012-10-11 11:39:39 AM  

Cythraul: Lusiphur: I told him I'd feel that was too much rounding, since I can't ever see myself in a romantic relationship with a guy.

Why not?


Not entirely sure I can explain it, or even really wrap my own mind around it. It just doesn't feel right. Or maybe I've just never met a man who I was both attracted to and felt like I could be with. Hell, I've only met a handful of women who fit both criteria, so it never stuck me as being terribly shocking. Or maybe it's a latent social stigma that I can't quite recognize, let alone get over. Either way, being in a committed relationship at the moment, it's not really an issue so I guess I don't spend a lot of time thinking about the whys.

I guess I always felt it would be like asking a gay man why they don't want to find a nice girl and settle down. It's all brain chemicals and unicorn farts.
 
2012-10-11 11:41:04 AM  

EZ Writer: I am a white heterosexual male... AKA the new minority.


What are your feelings towards nuts and gum? 

/also part of "the new minority"
 
2012-10-11 11:44:04 AM  
I sharted at work the other day. Celiac disease is an asshole.
 
2012-10-11 11:45:05 AM  

Cybernetic: miss diminutive: I kissed a girl and she didn't taste anything like cherry chap-stick....more like rum and falafel.

That Katy Perry is full of shiat.

Pics or it didn't happen.


imageshack.us 

/quick and very dirty
 
2012-10-11 11:47:34 AM  

PabloHosehead: I'd rather have a woman ride me with a strap-on than actually be sexually with a(nother) guy.


I feel the same way about my wife.

/thankfully neither is happening, AFAIK
 
2012-10-11 11:49:48 AM  
In my personal experience, one's orientation can change at various times in one's life. I've known I was bi since pretty early on, and even when I was strictly one way I still knew the possibility was there.

Confusing? Sort of. Add to that, I came out the year Ellen did (I guess it was "the effect") , lived strictly gay for a couple of years, then drifted back towards hetero, met a woman whom I spent 7 wonderful years with. Currently dating women, but who knows about tomorrow? Frankly it doesn't much matter to me as long as it makes me happy.

My advice to those who are playing it "down low" is go ahead, jump in the deep end, come out. It's a great feeling.
 
2012-10-11 11:50:50 AM  

EZ Writer: I am a white heterosexual male... AKA the new minority.


Would you honestly trade that to be any other combination of race, sex, or orientation? It's frickin' sweet to be a white heterosexual male.
 
2012-10-11 11:54:28 AM  

elementalogic: What are your feelings towards nuts and gum? 

/also part of "the new minority"


Together at last!

jack21221: Would you honestly trade that to be any other combination of race, sex, or orientation? It's frickin' sweet to be a white heterosexual male.


Nope... I'm perfectly happy with my drawing in the birth pool. Except as someone pointed out in another thread, it would be pretty sweet to be reincarnated as a lesbian. I'd still get to have sex with women, AND I'd be able to hit from the red tees. If that isn't win/win, I don't know what is...
 
2012-10-11 11:55:19 AM  

Barnstormer: In my personal experience, one's orientation can change at various times in one's life. I've known I was bi since pretty early on, and even when I was strictly one way I still knew the possibility was there.

Confusing? Sort of. Add to that, I came out the year Ellen did (I guess it was "the effect") , lived strictly gay for a couple of years, then drifted back towards hetero, met a woman whom I spent 7 wonderful years with. Currently dating women, but who knows about tomorrow? Frankly it doesn't much matter to me as long as it makes me happy.

My advice to those who are playing it "down low" is go ahead, jump in the deep end, come out. It's a great feeling.


Good for you. I dated a man who at one point had a romantic relationship with another man at one point, because if he never did, he'd never know for sure how hetero he was.

I wish people wouldn't be so homophobic. Who someone loves is their own business.
 
2012-10-11 11:56:07 AM  
I'm a paraplegic stuck in an able persons body. I don't actually believe that, but I do feel trapped in the wrong body and suffer from body dysphoria which is very similar to the sense of gender dysphoria experienced by transsexuals. Everything below a certain line (including my genitals) feels foreign. I could bore everyone with a scientific explanation of what causes dysphoria in the brain, but I doubt anyone cares.
 
2012-10-11 11:57:29 AM  

WTFDYW: There are no kids. We're both in our 50's, so I guess we both figure it's to late to start all over again. I have considered finding a "fark" buddy from time to time though.


It sounds like you still have sexual desire, perhaps still for her, and she has none. If she cares enough about you to stay in your life, she should care enough to enter therapy (couples or solo) to be at least able to express why that is. Spouses are not supposed to be unilaterally opposed to doing anything whatsoever that the other spouse wants... that's not exactly a partnership. I doubt that she's just being a jerk; there is an underlying problem or set of problems at play.

Now that being said my wife and I are in our mid-30s with three little kids; I don't know what it is like to be 50 something. However, most couples experience their lowest relationship satisfaction at my point in their marriage, but wife and I are completely happy together and continue to have frequent sex. We talk about it regularly and do our best to stay on the same page on our relationship. I hope that, if you both want to be together, that this drought can be overcome to your mutual benefit.
 
2012-10-11 12:04:28 PM  
I'm toying with the idea of coming out to my office co-workers. Like they don't know already. A three martini lunch would really help this along.
 
2012-10-11 12:06:47 PM  

vabeard: I'm toying with the idea of coming out to my office co-workers. Like they don't know already. A three martini lunch would really help this along.


I wholly encourage that lunch. Martini's are awesome.
 
2012-10-11 12:07:19 PM  
i46.tinypic.com
 
2012-10-11 12:09:46 PM  

kiwimoogle84: vabeard: I'm toying with the idea of coming out to my office co-workers. Like they don't know already. A three martini lunch would really help this along.

I wholly encourage that lunch. Martini's are awesome.


Bombay Sapphire. With salad.
 
2012-10-11 12:10:43 PM  

Cythraul: I'm a homosexual.


You know how I know you're gay?
 
2012-10-11 12:15:22 PM  
Ladies and gentlemen... despite my long-standing login, I remain steadfastly, enthusiastically, monumentally straight.

For the record, it's always been a Blues Brothers movie reference. (Also, the connotations of the word "fabulous" were somewhat different 10 years ago.)

And now you know.
 
2012-10-11 12:16:58 PM  

kimwim: kiwimoogle84: vabeard: I'm toying with the idea of coming out to my office co-workers. Like they don't know already. A three martini lunch would really help this along.

I wholly encourage that lunch. Martini's are awesome.

Bombay Sapphire. With salad.


I go Vodak martinis. Usually Ketel one. Never been a fan of gin- though in bartending I came up with the brilliance of watermelon martinis- freeze watermelon cubes and shake with those instead of ice, with sweet vermouth and grapes on a stick instead of olives.
 
2012-10-11 12:20:02 PM  

miss diminutive: Cybernetic: miss diminutive: I kissed a girl and she didn't taste anything like cherry chap-stick....more like rum and falafel.

That Katy Perry is full of shiat.

Pics or it didn't happen.

[imageshack.us image 396x592] 

/quick and very dirty


That's what I get for not being more specific.
 
2012-10-11 12:21:36 PM  
I'm a crossdressing atheist panty sniffing republican and I like beastiality porn .

/One of those is not true.
 
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