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(Huffington Post)   Uma Thurman joins hardcore sex film and [insert obligatory "you're not reading anymore" headline joke here]   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 106
    More: Spiffy, Uma Thurman, Stellan Skarsgard, von Trier, Shia Labeouf, Christian Slater, Jamie Bell, nymphomania, Trier  
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15270 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 11 Oct 2012 at 12:35 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-10-11 02:20:05 PM
Seen better looking amateurs on YouPorn.....
just sayin
 
2012-10-11 02:22:26 PM
The only movie she was ever hittable in.

Haven't seen Dangerous Liasons, have you?
 
2012-10-11 02:22:50 PM
she is like the almost attractive neighbor chick, or the australian girl you meet in a hostel who is traveling by herself, shes chatty,has a copy of the prophet and some old photography magazines on the coffeetable she made out of an old door and some bricks she found in her attic.

A couple of drinks and you think why non, despite the big feet and droopy titties she is good to dump a load into.

Then after a week she is calling you ever five minutes and showing up at your house with her own special vegetarion lasagna and a bottle of cheap chianti that she got on the bargain table at Trader Joes. She wants to talk about feelings and where the relationship is going and the only thing on your mind is that stain on the front of her pajama pants, soup, urine, or god knows what else, and why is her second toe three inches larger than her big toe, and why do they have dirt under the nails..

You know she is getting serious because along with her toothbrush she wants to leave her patchouli and her deodorant stone in your bathroom.

While I think Uma is a great actress, and perhaps she is one of those women whose personality and charisma in person would make her beautiful(as does happen in some cases) I just think she is average looking, with above average acting skills.

I still would hit it, because I am a dirty bastard but she would not be on the 1-100 list.
 
2012-10-11 02:22:53 PM

meanmutton: Representative of the unwashed masses: Rev. Skarekroe: Everything that is illegal, we'll shoot in blurred images.

Illegal?

ummm buttseks? Cleveland steamers? rusty trombones? just throwing out ideas...

Anal isn't illegal in the US.


Anal is illegal in Utah. Utah therefore must not be part of the US as Splat has expected all along.
 
2012-10-11 02:25:21 PM
unlikely: Maybe as recently as ten years ago that would have been really exciting

Done in the post whose name would get me filter pawned
 
2012-10-11 02:27:48 PM

unlikely: Maybe as recently as ten years ago that would have been really exciting


It's still partially exciting, if you know what I mean.
 
2012-10-11 02:32:00 PM

splat the whale: meanmutton: Representative of the unwashed masses: Rev. Skarekroe: Everything that is illegal, we'll shoot in blurred images.

Illegal?

ummm buttseks? Cleveland steamers? rusty trombones? just throwing out ideas...

Anal isn't illegal in the US.

Anal is illegal in Utah. Utah therefore must not be part of the US as Splat has expected all along.


No, it isn't.
 
2012-10-11 02:35:57 PM
"When we call this a porno, it's meant ironically but irony doesn't work well in print," LaBeouf's co-star Stellan Skarsgard told THR."The film is sexually explicit but, believe me, it will be a very, very bad wanking movie."

What does a Swede know about American wanking?

/nobody's gonna tell me I can't wank to this
 
2012-10-11 02:40:13 PM

Representative of the unwashed masses: Rev. Skarekroe: Everything that is illegal, we'll shoot in blurred images.

Illegal?

ummm buttseks? Cleveland steamers? rusty trombones? just throwing out ideas...


Dont forget the glass bottom boat, the chili dog, and the jelly doughnut...
 
2012-10-11 02:43:35 PM
"When we call this a porno, it's meant ironically but irony doesn't work well in print," LaBeouf's co-star Stellan Skarsgard told THR."The film is sexually explicit but, believe me, it will be a very, very bad wanking movie."

You are doing it wrong.
 
2012-10-11 02:45:44 PM
Sure, what the hell.
 
2012-10-11 02:46:39 PM

Coiled Hot 1: Representative of the unwashed masses: Rev. Skarekroe: Everything that is illegal, we'll shoot in blurred images.

Illegal?

ummm buttseks? Cleveland steamers? rusty trombones? just throwing out ideas...

Dont forget the glass bottom boat, the chili dog, and the jelly doughnut...


Or the always pleasant Alabama hotpocket...
 
2012-10-11 02:49:17 PM

thecpt: They have sex ironically? Since when was sex a hipster thing!!!!


We were in a pretty obscure position. You've probably never heard of it.
 
2012-10-11 02:59:16 PM

AntonChigger: Coiled Hot 1: Representative of the unwashed masses: Rev. Skarekroe: Everything that is illegal, we'll shoot in blurred images.

Illegal?

ummm buttseks? Cleveland steamers? rusty trombones? just throwing out ideas...

Dont forget the glass bottom boat, the chili dog, and the jelly doughnut...

Or the always pleasant Alabama hotpocket...


Or the Rusty Venture...
 
2012-10-11 03:09:51 PM

AntonChigger: Coiled Hot 1: Representative of the unwashed masses: Rev. Skarekroe: Everything that is illegal, we'll shoot in blurred images.

Illegal?

ummm buttseks? Cleveland steamers? rusty trombones? just throwing out ideas...

Dont forget the glass bottom boat, the chili dog, and the jelly doughnut...

Or the always pleasant Alabama hotpocket...

AntonChigger: Coiled Hot 1: Representative of the unwashed masses: Rev. Skarekroe: Everything that is illegal, we'll shoot in blurred images.

Illegal?

ummm buttseks? Cleveland steamers? rusty trombones? just throwing out ideas...

Dont forget the glass bottom boat, the chili dog, and the jelly doughnut...

Or the always pleasant Alabama hotpocket...


Oh man...I just GIS'd that. That's awful. I think I'll go home and try that.
 
2012-10-11 03:11:01 PM
Lars Von Trier's central concept - women who love are punished. Uma Thurman's character will face trials and tribulations for daring to explore her sexuality. Yeah, it will be a "bad wanking movie."
 
2012-10-11 03:12:06 PM

stupiddream: AntonChigger: Coiled Hot 1: Representative of the unwashed masses: Rev. Skarekroe: Everything that is illegal, we'll shoot in blurred images.

Illegal?

ummm buttseks? Cleveland steamers? rusty trombones? just throwing out ideas...

Dont forget the glass bottom boat, the chili dog, and the jelly doughnut...

Or the always pleasant Alabama hotpocket...

Or the Rusty Venture...



Or the dreaded Rear Admiral.
 
2012-10-11 03:17:55 PM
4.bp.blogspot.com

"Hey, I don't wanna sound like a queer or nothin', but I think unicorns are kick ass! "
 
2012-10-11 03:18:18 PM
Do I want to watch Uma Thurman having sex? Why yes. Yes, I believe I would enjoy that cinematic experience.

Do I want to watch Shia LaBeef having sex. No, sir, I don't like it!

Do I want to watch Shia LaBeef having sex with Uma Thurman? ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE ME CRY, OR VOMIT?
 
2012-10-11 03:18:58 PM

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: [i47.tinypic.com image 725x1088]

I'm not one for advocating plastic surgery; but damn, she should think about a boob lift if she's going to be doing nude scenes.


No, she shouldn't. Some people like natural, even if gravity's having a little effect. They look really nice, to me.
 
2012-10-11 03:19:37 PM

EyeballKid: moohawk: FTA: "The film is sexually explicit but, believe me, it will be a very, very bad wanking movie."

Me thinks someone underestimates just what people will wank to.

I'd say anybody who's seen Antichrist may have a pretty good idea of how wank-unfriendly a Lars Von Trier film can be.


4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-10-11 03:27:27 PM

ZeroCorpse: Abe Vigoda's Ghost: [i47.tinypic.com image 725x1088]

I'm not one for advocating plastic surgery; but damn, she should think about a boob lift if she's going to be doing nude scenes.

No, she shouldn't. Some people like natural, even if gravity's having a little effect. They look really nice, to me.


Without support NSFW
 
2012-10-11 03:33:16 PM

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: ZeroCorpse: Abe Vigoda's Ghost: [i47.tinypic.com image 725x1088]

I'm not one for advocating plastic surgery; but damn, she should think about a boob lift if she's going to be doing nude scenes.

No, she shouldn't. Some people like natural, even if gravity's having a little effect. They look really nice, to me.

Without support NSFW


Nothing wrong with that. They don't need to point to the sky forever.
 
2012-10-11 03:35:25 PM

ZeroCorpse: Abe Vigoda's Ghost: ZeroCorpse: Abe Vigoda's Ghost: [i47.tinypic.com image 725x1088]

I'm not one for advocating plastic surgery; but damn, she should think about a boob lift if she's going to be doing nude scenes.

No, she shouldn't. Some people like natural, even if gravity's having a little effect. They look really nice, to me.

Without support NSFW

Nothing wrong with that. They don't need to point to the sky forever.


If she wants me to pay 10 bucks for a movie ticket to see them, they do.
 
2012-10-11 03:40:29 PM
They really should have cast Winona Ryder in this movie.
 
2012-10-11 03:43:13 PM

meanmutton:
Anal isn't illegal in the US.


It is in some states, depending on whether it's among married or unmarried, gays or straights. 
A film of the act is a separate issue, but people have served jail time for selling various X-rated movies
 
2012-10-11 03:47:05 PM
Older than 25? NO FAP!
 
2012-10-11 03:50:06 PM

steve_lou: meanmutton:
Anal isn't illegal in the US.

It is in some states, depending on whether it's among married or unmarried, gays or straights. 
A film of the act is a separate issue, but people have served jail time for selling various X-rated movies


No, it isn't. It is not illegal anywhere in the United States. Lawrence v. Texas, 539 U.S. 558. Wikipedia's details
 
2012-10-11 03:54:38 PM
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-10-11 03:55:25 PM

meanmutton: steve_lou: meanmutton:
Anal isn't illegal in the US.

It is in some states, depending on whether it's among married or unmarried, gays or straights. 
A film of the act is a separate issue, but people have served jail time for selling various X-rated movies

No, it isn't. It is not illegal anywhere in the United States. Lawrence v. Texas, 539 U.S. 558. Wikipedia's details


Mmmmmmmmmmm, wikipedia.
 
2012-10-11 04:11:33 PM
I don't know if Lars Von Trier actually hates women or not. His movies suggest yes. But his movies also prove at least one other thing: Lars Von Trier hates moviegoers.

/ seriously, his movies suck donkey balls
// this will be no exception
/// herp derp cutting off sex organs with a pair of rusty scissors is soooooo arty
 
2012-10-11 04:29:45 PM

MonkeyAngst: Abe Vigoda's Ghost: meanmutton: Bored Horde: I can't help but wonder how much of the hatred towards poor Shia is a result of simple jealousy. The dude gets paid millions to hang out with giant space robots and hot chicks, Indiana Jones and now he gets to have sex with Uma Thurman. He's getting paid millions of dollars to get freaky with Uma Thurman.

What a world.

There are plenty of other actors who have all of those things that people don't hate. My guess? It's because he's not a very good actor and is really lacking in charisma.

He's like Kristen Stewart; one dimensional, but has a box office draw (mystery to me).

Box office draw? I don't think so. Think about most of what he's known for: Blockbusters. You know, those movies where it doesn't matter who's in them? (Apart, of course, from Harrison Ford in Indy 4) Transformers would have made exactly as much money with any other bland, inoffensive white guy in the lead role.



I second this.
As far as I can tell, Shia is good at two things: having a name that no one knows how to pronounce, and acting like a spaz in generic blockbuster films.

He sucks.
 
2012-10-11 04:33:24 PM

meanmutton:
No, it isn't. It is not illegal anywhere in the United States. Lawrence v. Texas, 539 U.S. 558. Wikipedia's details


I didn't know about that decision. Although it says three states still prohibit 'homosexual conduct' whatever that means.
 
2012-10-11 04:33:42 PM
I think Uma looks awesome, doubly so for a woman her age.
 
2012-10-11 04:39:00 PM

thecpt: The All-Powerful Atheismo: Fano: [1.bp.blogspot.com image 704x352]

Oh my, yes

The only movie she was ever hittable in.

The producers. Swedish Maid. That is all.


Yup. This shouldn't be ignored.

\is it 11 o'clock yet?
 
2012-10-11 04:57:03 PM
I knew Uma's brother in high school. He was a cool dude. At the time I had no idea who Uma was (this was in 87 or 88) and had never seen her.

Dude looked just like her, except with shorter hair. So to me Uma just looks like a long haired version of that guy I used to know in high school.

/I can't fap to that.
 
2012-10-11 05:14:36 PM

Vegan Meat Popsicle: I don't know if Lars Von Trier actually hates women or not. His movies suggest yes. But his movies also prove at least one other thing: Lars Von Trier hates moviegoers.

/ seriously, his movies suck donkey balls
// this will be no exception
/// herp derp cutting off sex organs with a pair of rusty scissors is soooooo arty


PREACH IT!!!


/ALL CAPS!
 
2012-10-11 06:57:11 PM
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-10-11 07:06:01 PM
For something you really can't fap to...
Slightly NSFW
 
2012-10-11 07:48:55 PM
I swear that I saw her masturbate in a porn movie named "Candy" back in the early nineties.
 
2012-10-11 07:52:53 PM

moohawk: FTA: "The film is sexually explicit but, believe me, it will be a very, very bad wanking movie."

Me thinks someone underestimates just what people will wank to.


I'm guessing you haven't seen Antichrist.
 
2012-10-11 07:56:06 PM

RoyHobbs22: Rawhead Rex: That Anti-Christ movie...

Was really, really weird.

And painful...especially when she smashes his junk...
Then, while DaFoe is passed out, shejerks him ff and when he cums, it's all bloody.

Yeah...not cool.

You got to "spoiler alert" that shiat man.

/adding to queue


That isn't enough to be a real spoiler. Believe me.

And Antichrist is the kind of movie where you need as many spoilers as possible before watching.
 
2012-10-11 08:30:59 PM

Tat'dGreaser: Xythero: I was thinking Short Bus, too. I doubt this will be as good, but I'll go see it.

No I meant more along the lines of "difficult to masturbate too". That orgy scene was impossible to jerk off to.


I liked Short Bus.

Makes DNTO that much more funny to listen to.
 
2012-10-11 08:33:40 PM

meanmutton: Tat'dGreaser: "When we call this a porno, it's meant ironically but irony doesn't work well in print," LaBeouf's co-star Stellan Skarsgard told THR."The film is sexually explicit but, believe me, it will be a very, very bad wanking movie."

So like Short Bus?

Honestly, I'm hoping that it ends up like 9 Songs.


How did that one end? It's the only movie I ever watched where I fast forwarded past the sex to get to the concert footage. I love BRMC, and that was some ridiculously boring farking.
 
2012-10-11 08:42:10 PM

Lycan: For something you really can't fap to...
Slightly NSFW


I think you've underestimated the depths of my depravity.

/fap
 
2012-10-11 10:19:02 PM
You lost me at Shia
 
2012-10-11 11:41:12 PM

ZeroCorpse: Abe Vigoda's Ghost: ZeroCorpse: Abe Vigoda's Ghost: [i47.tinypic.com image 725x1088]

I'm not one for advocating plastic surgery; but damn, she should think about a boob lift if she's going to be doing nude scenes.

No, she shouldn't. Some people like natural, even if gravity's having a little effect. They look really nice, to me.

Without support NSFW

Nothing wrong with that. They don't need to point to the sky forever.


Those aren't bad. If you have ever seen big breasted porn from the 80's before the trend in porn stars became popsicle sticks with beachballs attached you've probably seen a bunch that looked like that.
 
2012-10-11 11:47:27 PM
This won't work for me unless she still has the samurai sword from Kill Bill.
 
2012-10-12 12:58:12 AM
quentin tarantino's spunk. she knows the taste......That is all..........
 
2012-10-12 02:12:41 AM
The controversial Von Trier -- best known for "Antichrist," "Melancholia"

I think they mean "only". And they're weird for thinking anyone even remembers Melancholia.

So the phrase they were looking for was probably "Lars von Trier-- who once made a single good exploitation film that people kinda liked--".

Krowdaddy Chixdiggit: quentin tarantino's spunk. she knows the taste......That is all..........


Von Trier basically makes the same kind of movies (low-end movies with some superficial trappings to make people that don't know a lot about movies feel like they do know a lot about movies and are being all highbrow and meta), so I guess she could be good. It is sticking with what she knows in more ways than one.
 
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