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(Some Guy)   The best way to deal with a bridezilla is to ignore her registry and instead buy her something inconveniently large that can't be returned. An 8 ft-tall taxidermy grizzly bear should do   (explodingunicorn.blogspot.com) divider line 154
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16746 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Oct 2012 at 3:13 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-10-11 02:45:03 PM
I kinda want to invite this guy to my wedding, just so I could get a stuffed bear.
 
2012-10-11 03:15:24 PM
This blog most definitely does not suck
 
2012-10-11 03:15:45 PM
I don't think the groom will not enjoy this gift. And, it can double as a weapon. Two weapons.
 
2012-10-11 03:16:33 PM
OK, that is freaking AWESOME.
 
2012-10-11 03:16:43 PM
This blog would be a lot funnier if written after the bear was given.
 
2012-10-11 03:17:57 PM
I'm going to be registering later this year... will have to keep this in mind as to avoid getting a bear.
 
2012-10-11 03:18:02 PM
What, No giant butt plug???
 
2012-10-11 03:18:29 PM
She can add it to her trophy room.

The only thing missing, Subby, is your ass!
 
2012-10-11 03:18:52 PM
Anyone else read that as "an 8-in long double-headed dildo?" Just me? OK.
 
2012-10-11 03:19:37 PM
WANT
 
2012-10-11 03:20:49 PM
I should have thought of that for my brothers wedding.
 
2012-10-11 03:21:19 PM
I would LOVE to have an 8-foot bear here in the office. Bonus: school's mascot IS a bear, so it would even make sense.

Would I dress it in school-spirited clothes? Hell yeah I would. Is it going to have a dopey scarf half the time? You bet!

/better get on Kickstarter before this fella, his blog is better than mine
 
2012-10-11 03:21:45 PM

L.D. Ablo: This blog would be a lot funnier if written after the bear was given.


I imagine there will be a followup.
 
2012-10-11 03:22:03 PM
The number for a divorce lawyer also works
 
2012-10-11 03:22:11 PM
nope
 
2012-10-11 03:23:10 PM

IAmRight: I would LOVE to have an 8-foot bear here in the office. Bonus: school's mascot IS a bear, so it would even make sense.

Would I dress it in school-spirited clothes? Hell yeah I would. Is it going to have a dopey scarf half the time? You bet!

/better get on Kickstarter before this fella, his blog is better than mine


My boss has one in his "Office of Death! -eth -eth -eth" He's a big hunter.

/Yes, you have to say it with the echoes.
 
2012-10-11 03:23:31 PM
Buying a bear is excessively expensive because you can't just walk into Wal-Mart and buy taxidermy.

I refuse to believe that no Wal-Mart has ever offered pre-stuffed taxidermy animals at some point.
 
2012-10-11 03:24:56 PM

IAmRight: I would LOVE to have an 8-foot bear here in the office. Bonus: school's mascot IS a bear, so it would even make sense.

Would I dress it in school-spirited clothes? Hell yeah I would. Is it going to have a dopey scarf half the time? You bet!

/better get on Kickstarter before this fella, his blog is better than mine


Should we set up some kind of fundraising account with a guarantee of a follow-up and photos, WITH a promise of a bear Farkparty??

" The only way I can make this plan a reality is if I suddenly come into so much cash that money is no object. If that were the case, I'd pay for a few upgrades to the bear, like giving it red LEDs for eyes and installing a beer tap in its butthole."


/that's gold there Jerry, Gold
 
2012-10-11 03:25:31 PM

Schubert'sCell: This blog most definitely does not suck


he needs to be invited to a fark party
 
db2
2012-10-11 03:26:01 PM
Nope, Chuck Testa.
 
2012-10-11 03:27:56 PM
OMG BEAR is driving! HOW CAN THIS BE??
 
2012-10-11 03:28:36 PM
what's hilarious to me is that I am going to be a bride, getting married next summer, and now I am trying to figure out how I can put "giant stuffed grizzly bear in terrifying pose" on my bridal registry.

/it's something about the dead, dead eyes
 
2012-10-11 03:28:49 PM

db2: Nope, Chuck Testa.


Nope, Gene Masseth
 
2012-10-11 03:29:30 PM
Amanda, you've hated me for a very long time. Here's a bear.
 
2012-10-11 03:29:36 PM

TaterTot_HotDish: what's hilarious to me is that I am going to be a bride, getting married next summer, and now I am trying to figure out how I can put "giant stuffed grizzly bear in terrifying pose" on my bridal registry.

/it's something about the dead, dead eyes


see if your local taxidermist has a bridal registry
 
2012-10-11 03:30:23 PM
www.playerattack.com

I remember someone who blogged about the statue of Thrall that he had and bought into his and his newlywed's wife's home. He even gave it a setting at the dinner table. Alas, IIRC, the wife eventually won out and poor Thrall was relegated to the basement
 
2012-10-11 03:30:48 PM

KatjaMouse: I'm going to be registering later this year... will have to keep this in mind as to avoid getting a bear.


It doesn't matter what you register for. You'll be lucky if 20% of the people even look at your registry. And it would be unlikely that more than half of them will buy from it.
 
2012-10-11 03:30:49 PM

TaterTot_HotDish: what's hilarious to me is that I am going to be a bride, getting married next summer, and now I am trying to figure out how I can put "giant stuffed grizzly bear in terrifying pose" on my bridal registry.

/it's something about the dead, dead eyes


You just do it and period. Let everyone else figure it out. If you get it, hey, free bear.

/Well, not so free
 
2012-10-11 03:31:02 PM
great gift.. heck PERFECT GIFT its even the most patriotic you could get

images.t-nation.com
 
2012-10-11 03:31:18 PM

CygnusDarius
I don't think the groom will not enjoy this gift. And, it can double as a weapon. Two weapons.


Our chief weapon is surprise...surprise and fear...fear and surprise.... Our two weapons are fear and surprise...and ruthless efficiency.... Our *three* weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency...and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope.... Our *four*...no... *Amongst* our weapons.... Amongst our weaponry...are such elements as fear, surprise.... I'll come in again.
 
2012-10-11 03:32:40 PM
Buying a bear is excessively expensive because you can't just walk into Wal-Mart and buy taxidermy. A hunter has to pay for a gun, a license, a hunting expedition, and a mounting service. Then, after he puts all this time and money into creating a very personalized trophy, he has to decide he's sick of the thing and wants sell it. In order to buy a mounted bear, you need to find someone who enjoys spending money and killing stuff as much as he likes changing his mind. Such a person would be an unreliable eBay vendor but a great president.

Win.
 
2012-10-11 03:33:03 PM
That. was. awesome...

Now I want a bear.
 
2012-10-11 03:34:57 PM
if this dude through it up on kickstarter he would have all the money he needed to do this.
 
2012-10-11 03:36:38 PM

ChipNASA: What, No giant butt plug???


Spark plug?
 
2012-10-11 03:38:13 PM
There's really no good way to gift wrap a bear

wrap it with a bearskin rug.
 
2012-10-11 03:39:18 PM

TaterTot_HotDish: what's hilarious to me is that I am going to be a bride, getting married next summer, and now I am trying to figure out how I can put "giant stuffed grizzly bear in terrifying pose" on my bridal registry.

/it's something about the dead, dead eyes



You do what me and my wife did, you include a note with your invitations stating:

Gifts Not Required, but if you must the following list is what we need:

Target Registry
Bed Bath and Beyond Registry
Learjet 55C/LR
Rolls-Royce Corniche (Preferably from 1989-1996)
 
2012-10-11 03:39:26 PM
Well, it's nice to see that someone is thinking ahead to all the years of happy family gatherings to come.
 
2012-10-11 03:39:46 PM

Gunderson: I remember someone who blogged about the statue of Thrall that he had and bought into his and his newlywed's wife's home. He even gave it a setting at the dinner table. Alas, IIRC, the wife eventually won out and poor Thrall was relegated to the basement


Laaaame! There are so many fun things you can do with something like that! Put him in the kitchen and put a chef's hat on him or guarding your kid's room (See, Timmy? No monsters would be stupid enough to bother you now.), Greeting visitors inside the door... the list really does go on and on.
 
2012-10-11 03:40:21 PM
one for $1700 near me on craigslist: Link

/only a 6' black bear instead of an 8' grizz
 
2012-10-11 03:40:29 PM

probesport: ChipNASA: What, No giant butt plug???

Spark plug?


Butt plug
 
2012-10-11 03:40:39 PM
...or maybe just by adding a pointy wizard hat. This wedding is in the South, so we'd disappoint a lot of people when we reveal the huge Klan statue in the corner is actually a bear.

I chuckled.
 
2012-10-11 03:45:28 PM

ultraholland: There's really no good way to gift wrap a bear

wrap it with a bearskin rug.


Big Bird? Obama?!?!?
 
2012-10-11 03:45:29 PM
Honestly, buying a bear poop shoot wouldn't be the worst $500 I've ever spent. I'm looking at you, engagement ring.


LOL!!
 
2012-10-11 03:47:14 PM
My wife comes from wealthier stock and the gifts we received from them were all over the board. Some were awesome, and some were... unique. Who the hell gives a bride, a Jewish one I might add, a Kimono?
 
2012-10-11 03:47:48 PM
Yogi?
 
2012-10-11 03:48:33 PM
Came for the Barney and the Storm Trooper (or whatever that thing is) reference, leaving disappointed.
 
2012-10-11 03:49:29 PM

Tomahawk513: My wife comes from wealthier stock and the gifts we received from them were all over the board. Some were awesome, and some were... unique. Who the hell gives a bride, a Jewish one I might add, a Kimono?


This Guy??

skunkiebutt.com
 
2012-10-11 03:49:40 PM

funzyr: KatjaMouse: I'm going to be registering later this year... will have to keep this in mind as to avoid getting a bear.

It doesn't matter what you register for. You'll be lucky if 20% of the people even look at your registry. And it would be unlikely that more than half of them will buy from it.


Goddammitsomuch.
 
2012-10-11 03:49:56 PM

ChipNASA: ultraholland: There's really no good way to gift wrap a bear

wrap it with a bearskin rug.

Big Bird? Obama?!?!?


snort

/i want a beer :(
 
2012-10-11 03:52:16 PM
It was completely embarrassing to me to have a gift registry for my wedding. I can buy my own dishes, thanks. You know this because I just spent tens of thousands on the party to celebrate my marriage. Nothing about this party consisted of any choices of my own, your invitation included, but I had burned them thousands anyways. But buy me some dishes, because tradition and my future wife insist!

I need to write a book about wedding planning. Not to help plan weddings but to warn the future husbands of the world of this abomination.
 
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