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(Fark)   What yet to be invented kitchen appliance would you like to see on the market?   (fark.com) divider line 36
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2212 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Oct 2012 at 2:47 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-10-11 03:34:20 AM  
5 votes:
The KitchenAid Dead Grandmother Flipper. Because sometimes she rolls over in her grave and you need to flip her back over.
2012-10-10 10:51:40 PM  
4 votes:
This thing Leelo Dallas Multipass pulls a chicken out of
media.tumblr.com
2012-10-11 03:13:04 AM  
3 votes:
Really, I'm holding out for the bonus...

farm1.static.flickr.com
2012-10-10 10:53:11 PM  
3 votes:

ami5000: gunsmack: You know how you set the coffeemaker can be programmed to have a steaming hot cup ready at 6 am? I'm working on a cast iron pan version that will will do the same with 2 eggs scrambled with sharp cheddar, quarter pound of bacon and hash browns. I'll be a millionaire in about 5 minutes.

Just set your George Foreman grill on your bed, wake up early, turn it on, go back to sleep, and wake up to bacon.


You're completely missing the point. I need hash browns too.
2012-10-10 10:49:35 PM  
3 votes:
The Blowjob Dishwasher 3000
2012-10-11 04:29:10 AM  
2 votes:

illannoyin: farkingismybusiness: [2.bp.blogspot.com image 850x463]
[www.techi.com image 600x321]
[thesportspin.com image 360x240]

Winnar.

And also this...

NSFW Link

/Ok, so that second one is not really for the kitchen
//Or, is it?


When I think of the most important issues that we as a society must overcome, I think of "doll gape."
2012-10-11 03:04:53 AM  
2 votes:
I want a self-cleaning stovetop. I know I'm just being lazy as fark, but I honestly can't cook a single meal without the stovetop looking like some Keebler elves had a genocidal food fight all over it.
2012-10-11 03:00:28 AM  
2 votes:
I'd like to see a fresher developed. RIP Mitch
2012-10-11 08:37:11 AM  
1 votes:

IAMTHEINTARWEBS: ami5000: I don't know, but it would be nice if the washer and dryer could text me when that sh*t is done. Minutes in laundry world are not the same amount of time as everywhere else.

you do laundry in the kitchen?


i do food prep and dishes in the shower

is that wrong?
2012-10-11 07:15:11 AM  
1 votes:

logistic: The Blowjob Dishwasher 3000


Those are already built into current dishwashers. You just have to get the accessory to get it operational.

Diamond earrings.
2012-10-11 06:33:48 AM  
1 votes:
The ideal kitchen gadget was invented long ago, from some dude's old rib.
2012-10-11 06:19:12 AM  
1 votes:
The Stepford Wife.
2012-10-11 06:14:33 AM  
1 votes:
The Nigella.
2012-10-11 05:26:52 AM  
1 votes:

Gordon Bennett: [www.lonelyplanet.com image 500x365]

/the one and the only thing I miss about San Francisco are the burritos.


They just don't taste the same without the aluminum foil.

Big Ramifications: The one where you put your dick in it.


You can do that in a lot of kitchen appliances already if you don't care about your dick.
2012-10-11 05:18:22 AM  
1 votes:

Bindyree: Ambivalence: Self cleaning microwave ovens. and self cleaning kitchen counters.

This times a skillion. I'm terrible when it comes to keeping the microwave clean and usually whatever I nuke ends up making it look like a baby exploded in there.

While I don't mind cleaning the counters, I usually become kind of unravelled in the process because our apartment countertop was redone sometime in the 1960s and it's got that dreadful butter yellow color with black and silver glitter bits that look like pepper flakes. I've actually managed to scrub some of them off. But not all of them, which is the maddening part.


dtdstudios.com
2012-10-11 05:07:00 AM  
1 votes:

quietwalker: I can't think of anything funny, so here's a real one:

Self-aware microwaves and stoves, along with self-identifying food.

I'm not trying to be funny - this is something we could do today.

You can put scanners on anything now, easily, rfid/barcode/qcode/whatever. A (laser?)thermometer too. So you tag the food with the info needed to cook it. Not like "Insert gas station burrito into microwave for 1 minute if you like it icy in the middle, or 2 minutes if you want it to burn with the heat of a thousand suns".

More like something that would translate into how much energy a microwave needs to use, for how long, and in how many stages, whether to turn it over, or let it rest. So that burrito goes through a defrosting period for 2 minutes at low power, then 5 minutes at medium low to cook it (rotating once?), then 45 seconds at high to crisp the outside up. ... And this is where the self-aware part comes in.

That's the timing for MY 500 watt microwave. Your 800 watt will understand it needs to change it's settings to match properly. If you let the stove scan it, it'll have different instructions for you.

From here, it's just a step or two away from integrating cookbooks into the microwaves & stoves. Want to make sure your 4- or 5-course meal is ready in 30 minutes? The microwave and stove will tell you what to cook next, the order, and how to cook it - and if anything goes wrong, they know enough to put everything else on hold while you fix it.

Or add networking and play a video of how to do it, while you're doing it, provided by the manufacturer or free how-to-videos with timing and sensor information for a guitar-hero-like interface. Look at currently existing online recipe sites that are now offering videos.

To go on further, if your food is all tagged, you have online menus, you could actually have your appliances give you suggestions for weekly meal plan - to make sure you can still lose a few pounds or your kids are getting the ri ...


Don't you understand the value and sense of personal well-being to savor the experience to cook yourself something delicious to eat?
What do you plan to do with the extra time you save not cooking your own food? You should be soaking some beans, adding some spices cooking them making some home made tortilla shells, making some pico di gallo, grating some cheese...then you will know the secret to a happy life. Not eating something from a microwave. For me there is nothing that can be made in a microwave equal to what can be made on a stove except hot water and even that is still questionable.
2012-10-11 04:59:28 AM  
1 votes:

God's Bathroom Floor: 1.bp.blogspot.com


I agree, but I'd like it to do hot dogs, miniature sausage links, sausage patties, chicken wings and thin hamburgers too. 


/oooh, lookit that!
//quoting with an image!
2012-10-11 04:44:18 AM  
1 votes:
Ex-mother-in-law eviscerator.

/female, if anyone cares
2012-10-11 04:12:52 AM  
1 votes:
imageshack.us

A toaster that is controlled by my shower.

1) Get up and load the toaster - set it to recieve transmission
2) Get in the shower
3) Enjoy shower - no matter how long or short an amount of time you're in there
4) Turn off shower - the mixer unit now transmits 'go time' to the toaster
5) Dry yourself and put on clothes
6) Enter kitchen to freshly toasted bread.
2012-10-11 04:04:08 AM  
1 votes:
1.bp.blogspot.com
2012-10-11 03:57:22 AM  
1 votes:
www.strangecosmos.com
2012-10-11 03:45:02 AM  
1 votes:
Announcer: Yes, folks... Moderna Designs present the latest in kitchen luxury. The Moderna Wonder Major All Automatic Convenience Center-ette gives you all the time in the world to do the things you really want to do... An infrared freezer-oven complex that can make you a meal from packet to plate in 15 1/2 seconds.
Kevin's Mother: Morrisons have got one that can do that in eight seconds.
Kevin's Father: Oh?
Kevin's Mother: Block of ice to Beef Bourguignon in eight seconds. Lucky things.
2012-10-11 03:42:39 AM  
1 votes:
filmesegames.com.br

But I'll spring for the waterproof version.
2012-10-11 03:25:14 AM  
1 votes:

farkingismybusiness: [2.bp.blogspot.com image 850x463]
[www.techi.com image 600x321]
[thesportspin.com image 360x240]


Winnar.

And also this...

NSFW Link

/Ok, so that second one is not really for the kitchen
//Or, is it?
2012-10-11 03:19:15 AM  
1 votes:
I had no idea!

honestinfomercialreviews.com

dealninja.files.wordpress.com

lh4.ggpht.com 


/I'd just like a replicator
2012-10-11 02:52:09 AM  
1 votes:
Who does their laundry in the kitchen?
2012-10-11 02:51:13 AM  
1 votes:
image.shutterstock.com
2012-10-10 11:27:23 PM  
1 votes:
I would like a device that alerts the other people in my house that the kitchen is a fuc*ing mess. Perhaps the alert could be a cock/vag punch.


Because their eyes clearly don't see it. Tired of doing all the dishes, everyday.
2012-10-10 11:16:22 PM  
1 votes:

generalDisdain: \o/ When I used to use a laundromat, I would set my phone timer, go outside and smoke until the laundry was done.
The people there looked at me like I was some sort of laundry Nostradamus. LOL



We had people at our college laundromat (Sometimes college kids other-times older people). That would charge 5 bucks to xfer your stuff to dryer and fold stuff and put them in your baskets. They'd put little 'tent' paper things on your washer..(like NUMBER 12) and one in your basket. And you could leave and get all your stuff folded and dried. Back in your basket for pickup.
2012-10-10 11:09:56 PM  
1 votes:

ami5000: YOUR IDEAS ARE TERRIBLE AND I HATE YOU


\o/ When I used to use a laundromat, I would set my phone timer, go outside and smoke until the laundry was done.
The people there looked at me like I was some sort of laundry Nostradamus. LOL
2012-10-10 10:58:17 PM  
1 votes:

ami5000: I don't know, but it would be nice if the washer and dryer could text me when that sh*t is done. Minutes in laundry world are not the same amount of time as everywhere else.


If only someone would invent a timing device to measure the actual time.
2012-10-10 10:57:44 PM  
1 votes:

professorkowalski: gunsmack: You're completely missing the point. I need hash browns too.

So, it would have to be able to shred and peel potatoes? This seems either brilliant or the worst idea ever.


It's going to be really good at starting house fires.
2012-10-10 10:50:33 PM  
1 votes:

gunsmack: You know how you set the coffeemaker can be programmed to have a steaming hot cup ready at 6 am? I'm working on a cast iron pan version that will will do the same with 2 eggs scrambled with sharp cheddar, quarter pound of bacon and hash browns. I'll be a millionaire in about 5 minutes.


Just set your George Foreman grill on your bed, wake up early, turn it on, go back to sleep, and wake up to bacon.
2012-10-10 10:49:35 PM  
1 votes:
You know how you set the coffeemaker can be programmed to have a steaming hot cup ready at 6 am? I'm working on a cast iron pan version that will will do the same with 2 eggs scrambled with sharp cheddar, quarter pound of bacon and hash browns. I'll be a millionaire in about 5 minutes.
2012-10-10 10:46:42 PM  
1 votes:
I don't know, but it would be nice if the washer and dryer could text me when that sh*t is done. Minutes in laundry world are not the same amount of time as everywhere else.
MBK [TotalFark]
2012-10-10 10:46:03 PM  
1 votes:
Lightsaber
 
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