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(Fark)   What yet to be invented kitchen appliance would you like to see on the market?   (fark.com) divider line 38
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2209 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Oct 2012 at 2:47 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-10-10 10:51:40 PM
5 votes:
This thing Leelo Dallas Multipass pulls a chicken out of
media.tumblr.com
2012-10-10 11:03:21 PM
4 votes:
Self cleaning microwave ovens. and self cleaning kitchen counters.
2012-10-11 04:04:08 AM
3 votes:
1.bp.blogspot.com
2012-10-11 03:57:22 AM
3 votes:
www.strangecosmos.com
2012-10-11 03:04:50 AM
3 votes:
Replicator. Though I suspect that I would NEVER ask for "Tea. Earl Grey. Hot." Just on general principles ;)
2012-10-10 10:49:35 PM
3 votes:
You know how you set the coffeemaker can be programmed to have a steaming hot cup ready at 6 am? I'm working on a cast iron pan version that will will do the same with 2 eggs scrambled with sharp cheddar, quarter pound of bacon and hash browns. I'll be a millionaire in about 5 minutes.
2012-10-10 10:46:42 PM
3 votes:
I don't know, but it would be nice if the washer and dryer could text me when that sh*t is done. Minutes in laundry world are not the same amount of time as everywhere else.
2012-10-11 03:34:42 AM
2 votes:
A roach trap that the roaches didn't laugh at, spray graffiti on, and never set foot into.
2012-10-11 03:24:05 AM
2 votes:
Star Trek Food Replicator
2012-10-11 03:11:15 AM
2 votes:
I'd like a 3d baker, it's like a 3d printer except it bakes instead of prints. Since this is hi tech the way it would work is websites that host recipes would have a QR code thingy that you can scan with your phone. This sends to the 3d baker the instructions on how to bake that particular tasty treat. You can even control when it bakes it with your phone. It'll be like calling in an order to a bakery, except it's in your kitchen. All you have to do is top off the ingredients to the reservoirs(sugar/flour/chocolate, etc) every once in a while.
2012-10-11 03:03:49 AM
2 votes:
Something that will safely freeze food/beverages/etc. like a microwave heats food.
2012-10-10 11:27:23 PM
2 votes:
I would like a device that alerts the other people in my house that the kitchen is a fuc*ing mess. Perhaps the alert could be a cock/vag punch.


Because their eyes clearly don't see it. Tired of doing all the dishes, everyday.
2012-10-10 10:46:09 PM
2 votes:
T.A.R.D.I.S. kitchen
MBK [TotalFark]
2012-10-10 10:46:03 PM
2 votes:
Lightsaber
2012-10-11 01:05:17 PM
1 votes:

DirkValentine: 0Icky0: jtown: A frozen pot pie takes two or three minutes in the microwave and about 45-50 minutes in a convection oven. (But the flaky crust is worth the wait.)

That would be maybe 20 minutes in one of these..I've got one at home and one at the office. Farking love them.

Dude. Why the fark haven't I heard of this?

What are you normally cooking in it? What items do you find get the best results vs. regular oven?


Wow! I don't cook much, but that thing makes me want to. And I got over my sticker shock after converting Hong Kong $ to U.S.

I bookmarked that link so I can go back to it when I have some cash to spend. Thanks, guize!
2012-10-11 09:21:55 AM
1 votes:
butler and/or smokin' hot maid
2012-10-11 08:31:36 AM
1 votes:
I'd like a refrigerator that captures its waste heat for heating water for the dishwasher.
2012-10-11 06:19:12 AM
1 votes:
The Stepford Wife.
2012-10-11 05:27:14 AM
1 votes:
What I want is a user-programmable robot chef that will cook my food for me. It needs to be programmable in the sense of being able to modify the settings for how it cooks, for example, the ability to set a default doneness for various meats, toast, proper way to fix eggs, etc., so the robot cooks how the owner wants, not what the manufacturer thinks is 'healthy'.

Of course the reason I want this is because I have ALS and am not always well enough to cook my own food. Of course a replicator or whatever that thing is that Leelo Dallas Multipass uses (Leelolathalarandrianeliokgumatac).
2012-10-11 05:15:47 AM
1 votes:

libranoelrose: Who does their laundry in the kitchen?


Almost everyone in the UK.
2012-10-11 05:07:00 AM
1 votes:

quietwalker: I can't think of anything funny, so here's a real one:

Self-aware microwaves and stoves, along with self-identifying food.

I'm not trying to be funny - this is something we could do today.

You can put scanners on anything now, easily, rfid/barcode/qcode/whatever. A (laser?)thermometer too. So you tag the food with the info needed to cook it. Not like "Insert gas station burrito into microwave for 1 minute if you like it icy in the middle, or 2 minutes if you want it to burn with the heat of a thousand suns".

More like something that would translate into how much energy a microwave needs to use, for how long, and in how many stages, whether to turn it over, or let it rest. So that burrito goes through a defrosting period for 2 minutes at low power, then 5 minutes at medium low to cook it (rotating once?), then 45 seconds at high to crisp the outside up. ... And this is where the self-aware part comes in.

That's the timing for MY 500 watt microwave. Your 800 watt will understand it needs to change it's settings to match properly. If you let the stove scan it, it'll have different instructions for you.

From here, it's just a step or two away from integrating cookbooks into the microwaves & stoves. Want to make sure your 4- or 5-course meal is ready in 30 minutes? The microwave and stove will tell you what to cook next, the order, and how to cook it - and if anything goes wrong, they know enough to put everything else on hold while you fix it.

Or add networking and play a video of how to do it, while you're doing it, provided by the manufacturer or free how-to-videos with timing and sensor information for a guitar-hero-like interface. Look at currently existing online recipe sites that are now offering videos.

To go on further, if your food is all tagged, you have online menus, you could actually have your appliances give you suggestions for weekly meal plan - to make sure you can still lose a few pounds or your kids are getting the ri ...


Don't you understand the value and sense of personal well-being to savor the experience to cook yourself something delicious to eat?
What do you plan to do with the extra time you save not cooking your own food? You should be soaking some beans, adding some spices cooking them making some home made tortilla shells, making some pico di gallo, grating some cheese...then you will know the secret to a happy life. Not eating something from a microwave. For me there is nothing that can be made in a microwave equal to what can be made on a stove except hot water and even that is still questionable.
2012-10-11 04:44:06 AM
1 votes:
I can't think of anything funny, so here's a real one:

Self-aware microwaves and stoves, along with self-identifying food.

I'm not trying to be funny - this is something we could do today.

You can put scanners on anything now, easily, rfid/barcode/qcode/whatever. A (laser?)thermometer too. So you tag the food with the info needed to cook it. Not like "Insert gas station burrito into microwave for 1 minute if you like it icy in the middle, or 2 minutes if you want it to burn with the heat of a thousand suns".

More like something that would translate into how much energy a microwave needs to use, for how long, and in how many stages, whether to turn it over, or let it rest. So that burrito goes through a defrosting period for 2 minutes at low power, then 5 minutes at medium low to cook it (rotating once?), then 45 seconds at high to crisp the outside up. ... And this is where the self-aware part comes in.

That's the timing for MY 500 watt microwave. Your 800 watt will understand it needs to change it's settings to match properly. If you let the stove scan it, it'll have different instructions for you.

From here, it's just a step or two away from integrating cookbooks into the microwaves & stoves. Want to make sure your 4- or 5-course meal is ready in 30 minutes? The microwave and stove will tell you what to cook next, the order, and how to cook it - and if anything goes wrong, they know enough to put everything else on hold while you fix it.

Or add networking and play a video of how to do it, while you're doing it, provided by the manufacturer or free how-to-videos with timing and sensor information for a guitar-hero-like interface. Look at currently existing online recipe sites that are now offering videos.

To go on further, if your food is all tagged, you have online menus, you could actually have your appliances give you suggestions for weekly meal plan - to make sure you can still lose a few pounds or your kids are getting the right nutrition. Or date-tagged food that know when they're spoiling (finally a reason to wire up the fridge?) Or even a button that says "Friends for the game in an hour" and it pulls up Alton Brown and shows you how to make hot wings and 7 layer dip.

The thing is, we can do all of this, today. Not very hard, not very expensive.
2012-10-11 03:45:02 AM
1 votes:
Announcer: Yes, folks... Moderna Designs present the latest in kitchen luxury. The Moderna Wonder Major All Automatic Convenience Center-ette gives you all the time in the world to do the things you really want to do... An infrared freezer-oven complex that can make you a meal from packet to plate in 15 1/2 seconds.
Kevin's Mother: Morrisons have got one that can do that in eight seconds.
Kevin's Father: Oh?
Kevin's Mother: Block of ice to Beef Bourguignon in eight seconds. Lucky things.
2012-10-11 03:39:55 AM
1 votes:
A transparent fridge. Bonus marks if made from transparent aluminum.
2012-10-11 03:38:42 AM
1 votes:
An oven that can cook as fast or faster than a microwave, but will crisp and not make breads and crusts rubbery.
2012-10-11 03:36:28 AM
1 votes:
RFIDs read when food enters the kitchen and when packaging us tossed to manage inventory. Menu planning is linked. Weekly shopping automatically ordered and delivered.
2012-10-11 03:19:15 AM
1 votes:
I had no idea!

honestinfomercialreviews.com

dealninja.files.wordpress.com

lh4.ggpht.com 


/I'd just like a replicator
2012-10-11 03:06:21 AM
1 votes:
2.bp.blogspot.com
www.techi.com
thesportspin.com
2012-10-11 02:57:28 AM
1 votes:
The MakeNewspaperTasteLikeSteak5000
2012-10-11 02:52:09 AM
1 votes:
Who does their laundry in the kitchen?
2012-10-10 11:23:24 PM
1 votes:

optikeye: gunsmack: You know how you set the coffeemaker can be programmed to have a steaming hot cup ready at 6 am? I'm working on a cast iron pan version that will will do the same with 2 eggs scrambled with sharp cheddar, quarter pound of bacon and hash browns. I'll be a millionaire in about 5 minutes

[www.eggandmuffintoaster.net image 500x398]


I followed that picture to this:
http://www.amazon.com/Nostalgia-Electrics-BSET100CR-Breakfast-Statio n/ dp/B008JC8Q9I/ref=pd_sim_k_7

I'm gettin' one. That's all there is to it.
hng
2012-10-10 11:22:48 PM
1 votes:

optikeye: And you could leave and get all your stuff folded and dried. Back in your basket for pickup.


That's called Wash & Fold.
2012-10-10 11:16:22 PM
1 votes:

generalDisdain: \o/ When I used to use a laundromat, I would set my phone timer, go outside and smoke until the laundry was done.
The people there looked at me like I was some sort of laundry Nostradamus. LOL



We had people at our college laundromat (Sometimes college kids other-times older people). That would charge 5 bucks to xfer your stuff to dryer and fold stuff and put them in your baskets. They'd put little 'tent' paper things on your washer..(like NUMBER 12) and one in your basket. And you could leave and get all your stuff folded and dried. Back in your basket for pickup.
2012-10-10 10:57:44 PM
1 votes:

professorkowalski: gunsmack: You're completely missing the point. I need hash browns too.

So, it would have to be able to shred and peel potatoes? This seems either brilliant or the worst idea ever.


It's going to be really good at starting house fires.
2012-10-10 10:55:12 PM
1 votes:

gunsmack: You're completely missing the point. I need hash browns too.


So, it would have to be able to shred and peel potatoes? This seems either brilliant or the worst idea ever.
2012-10-10 10:52:28 PM
1 votes:

gunsmack: You know how you set the coffeemaker can be programmed to have a steaming hot cup ready at 6 am? I'm working on a cast iron pan version that will will do the same with 2 eggs scrambled with sharp cheddar, quarter pound of bacon and hash browns. I'll be a millionaire in about 5 minutes


www.eggandmuffintoaster.net
2012-10-10 10:49:55 PM
1 votes:

No_47: I was going to make a sexist joke here. Best not.


A house boy with a bubble butt and cooking skills would for me. He'd also clean the pool.
2012-10-10 10:49:35 PM
1 votes:
The Blowjob Dishwasher 3000
 
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