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(Fark)   What yet to be invented kitchen appliance would you like to see on the market?   (fark.com) divider line 198
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2209 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Oct 2012 at 2:47 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-10-11 03:13:04 AM
Really, I'm holding out for the bonus...

farm1.static.flickr.com
 
2012-10-11 03:16:38 AM

Bathia_Mapes: libranoelrose: Who does their laundry in the kitchen?

Someone who has washer/dryer hookups there. Some friends of ours live in an apartment complex that has a washer & dryer in each apartment. While they're not directly in the kitchen they're in an alcove right across from the kitchen.


Theory Of Null: libranoelrose: Who does their laundry in the kitchen?

My laundry room is right next to my kitchen. One time I was so out of it I put my socks in the dishwasher.


My laundry room is also in an alcove next to the kitchen.

But I don't consider those appliances to be kitchen appliances.

There's so much woman stuff in those two rooms that I'm almost ashamed to go in there and use the refrigerator handle to get a beer.
 
2012-10-11 03:17:16 AM

funktilious_j: I would like a device that alerts the other people in my house that the kitchen is a fuc*ing mess. Perhaps the alert could be a cock/vag punch.


Because their eyes clearly don't see it. Tired of doing all the dishes, everyday.


A robot that washes dishes and beats people seems to be in order.
 
2012-10-11 03:19:15 AM
I had no idea!

honestinfomercialreviews.com

dealninja.files.wordpress.com

lh4.ggpht.com 


/I'd just like a replicator
 
2012-10-11 03:22:46 AM
To be serious for a moment, I want a consumer-priced dough roller for pizza or pastry. I have a Kitchen Aid mixer for mixing the dough, but now I'm still stuck with the drudgery of rolling it. Yeah, I'm lazy, so what?

Should be damned simple. You could even make it an attachment for the Kitchen Aid, but you could as readily make it standalone.
 
2012-10-11 03:24:05 AM
Star Trek Food Replicator
 
2012-10-11 03:25:14 AM

farkingismybusiness: [2.bp.blogspot.com image 850x463]
[www.techi.com image 600x321]
[thesportspin.com image 360x240]


Winnar.

And also this...

NSFW Link

/Ok, so that second one is not really for the kitchen
//Or, is it?
 
2012-10-11 03:26:48 AM
I'd like to see a device that jacks me off while simultaneously massaging my prostate gland. This would be an amazing tool to have when I want to glaze some donuts.
 
2012-10-11 03:29:26 AM

Atomic Spunk: I'd like to see a device that jacks me off while simultaneously massaging my prostate gland. This would be an amazing tool to have when I want to glaze some donuts.


Yeah but where will the donuts come from? Or is that something I'd be better off not knowing?
 
2012-10-11 03:30:09 AM
I wish the Thai maid/chef that I had in Bangkok could follow me through life.

/not at all pretty, but goddamn, could she cook and clean.
 
2012-10-11 03:30:22 AM
My son wanted to invent a voice-activated trash can lid so you didn't have to touch it while handling food. But then he found out it was already invented.

:/
 
2012-10-11 03:33:17 AM

Birnone: I'd like a 3d baker, it's like a 3d printer except it bakes instead of prints. Since this is hi tech the way it would work is websites that host recipes would have a QR code thingy that you can scan with your phone. This sends to the 3d baker the instructions on how to bake that particular tasty treat. You can even control when it bakes it with your phone. It'll be like calling in an order to a bakery, except it's in your kitchen. All you have to do is top off the ingredients to the reservoirs(sugar/flour/chocolate, etc) every once in a while.


This is a brilliant idea, and probably would be a replicator for want of another term. I remember reading something about something like this being in development somewhere, so let's keep hoping!
 
2012-10-11 03:34:20 AM
The KitchenAid Dead Grandmother Flipper. Because sometimes she rolls over in her grave and you need to flip her back over.
 
2012-10-11 03:34:42 AM
A roach trap that the roaches didn't laugh at, spray graffiti on, and never set foot into.
 
2012-10-11 03:36:28 AM
RFIDs read when food enters the kitchen and when packaging us tossed to manage inventory. Menu planning is linked. Weekly shopping automatically ordered and delivered.
 
2012-10-11 03:38:42 AM
An oven that can cook as fast or faster than a microwave, but will crisp and not make breads and crusts rubbery.
 
2012-10-11 03:38:47 AM

libranoelrose: Who does their laundry in the kitchen?


Been there- jetson- style urban apt. farking lint dust everywhere.
 
2012-10-11 03:39:55 AM
A transparent fridge. Bonus marks if made from transparent aluminum.
 
2012-10-11 03:42:09 AM
An egg gun would be nice. Just drop an egg in and pull the trigger, it comes out into the pan whole or scrambled, no shell bits.
 
2012-10-11 03:42:39 AM
filmesegames.com.br

But I'll spring for the waterproof version.
 
2012-10-11 03:44:40 AM

libranoelrose: Who does their laundry in the kitchen?


I do her,when she ain't out winning the family's money. Damn right, i bet on ' soap suds....

http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRs1shylzecV2wz1iS7lq578SWd-x H FV3kBhwqjPiP-R5MiHZAF 


Christ

fark
 
2012-10-11 03:45:02 AM
Announcer: Yes, folks... Moderna Designs present the latest in kitchen luxury. The Moderna Wonder Major All Automatic Convenience Center-ette gives you all the time in the world to do the things you really want to do... An infrared freezer-oven complex that can make you a meal from packet to plate in 15 1/2 seconds.
Kevin's Mother: Morrisons have got one that can do that in eight seconds.
Kevin's Father: Oh?
Kevin's Mother: Block of ice to Beef Bourguignon in eight seconds. Lucky things.
 
2012-10-11 03:47:43 AM

Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: An egg gun would be nice. Just drop an egg in and pull the trigger, it comes out into the pan whole or scrambled, no shell bits.


The problem with most of these type of inventions is that now instead of taking care not to get shell bits in when I crack the egg, now instead I have to clean an egg gun... Even with a dishwasher that is work.
 
2012-10-11 03:50:10 AM

The Southern Dandy: An oven that can cook as fast or faster than a microwave, but will crisp and not make breads and crusts rubbery.


convection oven

convection microwave
 
2012-10-11 03:53:07 AM

illannoyin: farkingismybusiness: [2.bp.blogspot.com image 850x463]
[www.techi.com image 600x321]
[thesportspin.com image 360x240]

Winnar.

And also this...

NSFW Link

/Ok, so that second one is not really for the kitchen
//Or, is it?


seecolombia.travel
 
2012-10-11 03:57:22 AM
www.strangecosmos.com
 
2012-10-11 03:59:46 AM

No_47: optikeye: gunsmack: You know how you set the coffeemaker can be programmed to have a steaming hot cup ready at 6 am? I'm working on a cast iron pan version that will will do the same with 2 eggs scrambled with sharp cheddar, quarter pound of bacon and hash browns. I'll be a millionaire in about 5 minutes

[www.eggandmuffintoaster.net image 500x398]

I followed that picture to this:
http://www.amazon.com/Nostalgia-Electrics-BSET100CR-Breakfast-Statio n/ dp/B008JC8Q9I/ref=pd_sim_k_7

I'm gettin' one. That's all there is to it.


Make sure to "review" it for the rest of us. I would hate to by a shiatty product that is less than 4 stars.
 
2012-10-11 04:01:08 AM
 
2012-10-11 04:01:49 AM
I want an automated kitchen like the sheriff had on Eureka. Miss that damn show...
 
2012-10-11 04:04:08 AM
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-10-11 04:04:22 AM
I'd like to see one of Marge Simpsons' favorite kitchen appliances: a raisin re-graper.

Because I farking hate raisins.

When I become Supreme Overlord of Earth (accept it, people; it's going to happen), the raisin will be outlawed.
 
2012-10-11 04:08:49 AM

The Southern Dandy: An oven that can cook as fast or faster than a microwave, but will crisp and not make breads and crusts rubbery.


They have those already.

May I introduce you to the GE Advantium® Oven?
A GE Profile Advantium Oven bakes, grills, and roasts up to 8 times faster than a conventional oven - with no preheating! And it's also a fully-functioning microwave oven.

Advantium technology harnesses the power of light. The outside of the food is cooked like a conventional oven, with radiant heat produced by halogen bulbs above and below the food. This halogen-produced heat receives a boost of microwave energy. The result? Foods brown and cook evenly and fast, while retaining their natural moisture.
 
2012-10-11 04:11:43 AM

Bathia_Mapes: The Southern Dandy: An oven that can cook as fast or faster than a microwave, but will crisp and not make breads and crusts rubbery.

convection oven

convection microwave


I have a combo microwave/convection oven and it's great but I wouldn't call the convection function speedy. It's slightly faster than a conventional oven but it's nowhere near as fast as a microwave. A frozen pot pie takes two or three minutes in the microwave and about 45-50 minutes in a convection oven. (But the flaky crust is worth the wait.)
 
2012-10-11 04:12:52 AM
imageshack.us

A toaster that is controlled by my shower.

1) Get up and load the toaster - set it to recieve transmission
2) Get in the shower
3) Enjoy shower - no matter how long or short an amount of time you're in there
4) Turn off shower - the mixer unit now transmits 'go time' to the toaster
5) Dry yourself and put on clothes
6) Enter kitchen to freshly toasted bread.
 
2012-10-11 04:14:29 AM

DigitalCoffee: Announcer: Yes, folks... Moderna Designs present the latest in kitchen luxury. The Moderna Wonder Major All Automatic Convenience Center-ette gives you all the time in the world to do the things you really want to do... An infrared freezer-oven complex that can make you a meal from packet to plate in 15 1/2 seconds.
Kevin's Mother: Morrisons have got one that can do that in eight seconds.
Kevin's Father: Oh?
Kevin's Mother: Block of ice to Beef Bourguignon in eight seconds. Lucky things.


It is a widely known fact, the wrong infrared freezer-oven complex, could very well turn the Sunday joint, into CONCENTRATED EVIL!
I for one, am not willing to take that chance.
For me, ModernaTM, is the only way to go.
 
2012-10-11 04:19:11 AM
A portmantoaster or portmanteuster. However you wanna spell it...
 
2012-10-11 04:19:44 AM

jtown: A frozen pot pie takes two or three minutes in the microwave and about 45-50 minutes in a convection oven. (But the flaky crust is worth the wait.)


That would be maybe 20 minutes in one of these..I've got one at home and one at the office. Farking love them.
 
2012-10-11 04:29:10 AM

illannoyin: farkingismybusiness: [2.bp.blogspot.com image 850x463]
[www.techi.com image 600x321]
[thesportspin.com image 360x240]

Winnar.

And also this...

NSFW Link

/Ok, so that second one is not really for the kitchen
//Or, is it?


When I think of the most important issues that we as a society must overcome, I think of "doll gape."
 
2012-10-11 04:44:06 AM
I can't think of anything funny, so here's a real one:

Self-aware microwaves and stoves, along with self-identifying food.

I'm not trying to be funny - this is something we could do today.

You can put scanners on anything now, easily, rfid/barcode/qcode/whatever. A (laser?)thermometer too. So you tag the food with the info needed to cook it. Not like "Insert gas station burrito into microwave for 1 minute if you like it icy in the middle, or 2 minutes if you want it to burn with the heat of a thousand suns".

More like something that would translate into how much energy a microwave needs to use, for how long, and in how many stages, whether to turn it over, or let it rest. So that burrito goes through a defrosting period for 2 minutes at low power, then 5 minutes at medium low to cook it (rotating once?), then 45 seconds at high to crisp the outside up. ... And this is where the self-aware part comes in.

That's the timing for MY 500 watt microwave. Your 800 watt will understand it needs to change it's settings to match properly. If you let the stove scan it, it'll have different instructions for you.

From here, it's just a step or two away from integrating cookbooks into the microwaves & stoves. Want to make sure your 4- or 5-course meal is ready in 30 minutes? The microwave and stove will tell you what to cook next, the order, and how to cook it - and if anything goes wrong, they know enough to put everything else on hold while you fix it.

Or add networking and play a video of how to do it, while you're doing it, provided by the manufacturer or free how-to-videos with timing and sensor information for a guitar-hero-like interface. Look at currently existing online recipe sites that are now offering videos.

To go on further, if your food is all tagged, you have online menus, you could actually have your appliances give you suggestions for weekly meal plan - to make sure you can still lose a few pounds or your kids are getting the right nutrition. Or date-tagged food that know when they're spoiling (finally a reason to wire up the fridge?) Or even a button that says "Friends for the game in an hour" and it pulls up Alton Brown and shows you how to make hot wings and 7 layer dip.

The thing is, we can do all of this, today. Not very hard, not very expensive.
 
2012-10-11 04:44:18 AM
Ex-mother-in-law eviscerator.

/female, if anyone cares
 
2012-10-11 04:45:07 AM
One step easy auto burrito maker.

www.lonelyplanet.com

/the one and the only thing I miss about San Francisco are the burritos.
 
2012-10-11 04:47:53 AM

gunsmack: ami5000: gunsmack: You know how you set the coffeemaker can be programmed to have a steaming hot cup ready at 6 am? I'm working on a cast iron pan version that will will do the same with 2 eggs scrambled with sharp cheddar, quarter pound of bacon and hash browns. I'll be a millionaire in about 5 minutes.

Just set your George Foreman grill on your bed, wake up early, turn it on, go back to sleep, and wake up to bacon.

You're completely missing the point. I need hash browns too.


White people problems.
 
2012-10-11 04:50:45 AM

Bathia_Mapes: The Southern Dandy: An oven that can cook as fast or faster than a microwave, but will crisp and not make breads and crusts rubbery.

convection oven


Not as fast.

convection microwave

Still makes breads rubbery
 
2012-10-11 04:59:28 AM

God's Bathroom Floor: 1.bp.blogspot.com


I agree, but I'd like it to do hot dogs, miniature sausage links, sausage patties, chicken wings and thin hamburgers too. 


/oooh, lookit that!
//quoting with an image!
 
2012-10-11 05:02:26 AM
Not an appliance, but something to make my entire kitchen easier to use, stock, and clean. I want a food pill sort of like from the Jetsons, that is delayed release and expands to help the stomach feel full for 24 hours or more. I want to take 1 pill that eliminates the need and desire to eat and the hassle that comes along with food shopping, storage, prep, cooking, as well as portioning and caloric intake. It doesn't even have to have a flavor.

I want to never have to shop for food, cook, or stop to eat ever, ever again.
 
2012-10-11 05:05:45 AM
The one where you put your dick in it.
 
2012-10-11 05:07:00 AM

quietwalker: I can't think of anything funny, so here's a real one:

Self-aware microwaves and stoves, along with self-identifying food.

I'm not trying to be funny - this is something we could do today.

You can put scanners on anything now, easily, rfid/barcode/qcode/whatever. A (laser?)thermometer too. So you tag the food with the info needed to cook it. Not like "Insert gas station burrito into microwave for 1 minute if you like it icy in the middle, or 2 minutes if you want it to burn with the heat of a thousand suns".

More like something that would translate into how much energy a microwave needs to use, for how long, and in how many stages, whether to turn it over, or let it rest. So that burrito goes through a defrosting period for 2 minutes at low power, then 5 minutes at medium low to cook it (rotating once?), then 45 seconds at high to crisp the outside up. ... And this is where the self-aware part comes in.

That's the timing for MY 500 watt microwave. Your 800 watt will understand it needs to change it's settings to match properly. If you let the stove scan it, it'll have different instructions for you.

From here, it's just a step or two away from integrating cookbooks into the microwaves & stoves. Want to make sure your 4- or 5-course meal is ready in 30 minutes? The microwave and stove will tell you what to cook next, the order, and how to cook it - and if anything goes wrong, they know enough to put everything else on hold while you fix it.

Or add networking and play a video of how to do it, while you're doing it, provided by the manufacturer or free how-to-videos with timing and sensor information for a guitar-hero-like interface. Look at currently existing online recipe sites that are now offering videos.

To go on further, if your food is all tagged, you have online menus, you could actually have your appliances give you suggestions for weekly meal plan - to make sure you can still lose a few pounds or your kids are getting the ri ...


Don't you understand the value and sense of personal well-being to savor the experience to cook yourself something delicious to eat?
What do you plan to do with the extra time you save not cooking your own food? You should be soaking some beans, adding some spices cooking them making some home made tortilla shells, making some pico di gallo, grating some cheese...then you will know the secret to a happy life. Not eating something from a microwave. For me there is nothing that can be made in a microwave equal to what can be made on a stove except hot water and even that is still questionable.
 
2012-10-11 05:15:47 AM

libranoelrose: Who does their laundry in the kitchen?


Almost everyone in the UK.
 
2012-10-11 05:18:22 AM

Bindyree: Ambivalence: Self cleaning microwave ovens. and self cleaning kitchen counters.

This times a skillion. I'm terrible when it comes to keeping the microwave clean and usually whatever I nuke ends up making it look like a baby exploded in there.

While I don't mind cleaning the counters, I usually become kind of unravelled in the process because our apartment countertop was redone sometime in the 1960s and it's got that dreadful butter yellow color with black and silver glitter bits that look like pepper flakes. I've actually managed to scrub some of them off. But not all of them, which is the maddening part.


dtdstudios.com
 
2012-10-11 05:19:21 AM

prjindigo: I agree, but I'd like it to do hot dogs


appliancesonlineblog.com.au
 
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