The blue box, it's my time machine. There is a world of time energy in there that they could feast on forever, but the damage they would do could switch off the sun. You have got to send it back to me.

And that's it, I'm afraid. There's no more from you on the transcript, that's the last I've got. I don't know what stopped you talking but I can guess: they're coming. The angels are coming for you, but listen, your life could depend on this: don't blink. Don't even blink. Blink and you're dead. They are fast, faster than you could believe. Don't turn your back, don't look away, and *don't blink*! Good luck.

It is our generation who decided that 'fairness' is more important than freedom, that security is more important than liberty, and that the ideas of our Founding Fathers were too antiquated, so I hope you enjoy being a slave to the Government. I certainly don't.

There are much better things to spend five bucks a month on.

To the future inhabitants of this planet:

By now, you must be wondering what the heck was wrong with us. Let me assure you that some of us knew these decisions were harmful, but we were entirely out-voted by morons who wanted large trucks for no reason, read exactly zero books in their adult lifetimes, and believed Jesus would simply magic the pollution and debt away later. Those of us who knew are terribly sorry about what we've done to your world, your economy, and your health.

Since so many are quoting movies and songs...


"Be excellent to each other"

"You should kill us all on sight. You should kill us all on sight. You should kill us all on sight."

Gather a metal fork, a can of roach spray, and a pair of pliers. Keep them handy. You'll thank me when it is time.

We almost succeeded in colonising other planets.
We almost succeeded in going out to the stars.
We completely succeeded in screwing up our planet, our civilisation, and our future.
Learn from our examples, and if some wild-eyed maniac comes out of the desert claiming to have special messages from a deity, he's having sunstroke or been eating the wrong mushrooms. Lock him up someplace he can't do any harm, or failing that, throw him off someplace high onto something hard. Trust me on this, unless you actually want to go to war over things like the serious questions of whether your god is better than your neighbours god and how many different incarnations he, she or it has.

"Dear people of the future,

The people of my time got together and voted, and we decided that you should pay our bills. Suckers."

Hello my baby,
hello my honey,
hello my ragtime doll.
Send me a kiss by wire.
Baby my heart's on fire.
If you refuse me,
honey you'll lose me.
Then you'll be left alone.
Oh Baby telephone
and tell me I'm your OOoooown.

If it weren't for my horse i wouldn't have spent that year in college

Project Nostradamus.
Time travel successful. Year 1919
Operation Hisler successful. Identity of German soldier KIA in WWI assigned to implant. Purification is our only hope for the future.
Unfortunately, the means of refining promethium to the level of fueling time craft have yet to be obtained. Have assumed the name Albert Abraham Einstein, a local casualty of our time rift. Will attempt to recreate space time breach utilizing depleted uranium. With these primitive tools, probability of success unlikely

"The McRib was a much beloved sandwich ..."

"Look upon my works ye mighty and despair."

Too high-brow for FARK perhaps?

YOU don't get something for nothing. You can't have freedom for free. You won't get wise with the sleep still in your eyes, no matter what your dream might beeeeeeeeeee. oh!

"We're sorry. We're so very, very sorry. We can't ask you to forgive us, but please try to understand. It might be extremely important that you do."

One word.

Dickbutt.

That is all.