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(Fark)   If you were to make a recording to leave for someone in the future to find, what would you say?   (fark.com) divider line 246
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1452 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Oct 2012 at 12:11 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-10-11 01:39:25 AM  
"Please delete my Internet history"

and...

Whatever you might think of your culture in the distant, wondrous future, always remember: "the Simpsons did it."
 
2012-10-11 01:40:08 AM  

FunkOut: atlfarkette: MissFeasance: Oh, and light switch time capsules are a cool idea, too. I'm going to do this next time we move.

[guide-images.makeprojects.org image 300x225]

Brilliant!

And to think I settled for shoving yogurt cups into the interior of walls along plumbing pipes.


That's good, I prefer frozen catfish chunks in the wall space, ceiling fixtures, refrigerator coils etc.
 
2012-10-11 01:40:31 AM  
"Thank you for being a friend.

Traveled down the road and back again.

Your heart is true you're a pal and a confidant.

I'm not ashamed to say, I hope it always will stay this way.

My hat is off, won't you stand up and take a bow?

And if you threw a party.

Invited everyone you knew.

You would see, the biggest gift would be from me and the card attached would say; Thank you for being a friend."
 
2012-10-11 01:42:55 AM  
What in the Wide World of Sports is-a going on here?
 
2012-10-11 01:49:59 AM  
We wanted to make a better world for you, but there was a game on and we forgot. Sorry for any inconvience.
 
2012-10-11 01:50:33 AM  
Good Day, Citizen.

I am ZoloVT'ak from the Earth year 204813.
If you are reading this message, it means I have been successful in my Time Machine experimentations.
I have travelled to your time and have left this message to:

1. Confuse your tiny mind.
2. Give you hope for you to build your own Time Machine...before it is too late. Time Travel is possible but you only have 5 years in order to accomplish this and save yourself and your family.

Steps To Build A Time Machine:

1. Sell all your possessions.
2. Deposit all monetary gains into the bank account of Ngwame N'doulo (account no: 97974387742) Bank of America.
3. Wait 6 months and return to this location for the first components of Time Machine. Bring a large bag.

Until next time,
Farewell Citizen.

ZoloVT'ak

PS. Your relations from the year 204813 say Hi and hope to see you soon.
 
2012-10-11 01:52:25 AM  
Eat to live, don't live to eat.
 
2012-10-11 01:54:35 AM  
Greetings Earthlings. We the peace loving people of Calfricorm Sperfisyi 5 have found you amusing the past 5,000 of your years. Good bye and don't grock the *garbled static*
 
2012-10-11 01:54:57 AM  
Discount Double-Check!!!
 
2012-10-11 01:55:31 AM  

jaedreth: It is our generation who decided that 'fairness' is more important than freedom, that security is more important than liberty, and that the ideas of our Founding Fathers were too antiquated, so I hope you enjoy being a slave to the Government. I certainly don't.


Slave to the Chinese Communist government, you mean.
 
2012-10-11 01:55:38 AM  
It started innocently enough. A slight cough, fever, chills. We thought it was the flu, but we didn't know the government was up to something so sinister. They placed us in containment camps. The rage escalated quickly. Even the children would lose their minds, scratching and tearing at each others flesh. We knew this would be the end of the world but we didn't know that they would end up tak
 
2012-10-11 01:55:44 AM  

Thuull: Never trust a fart

Also, never pass up a bathroom and never waste a hard-on.
 
2012-10-11 01:55:59 AM  

CorpusDelicti: Eat to live, don't live to eat.


Good one. I would replace eat with drink.
 
2012-10-11 01:57:14 AM  
You must leave here Logan, the crystal in your hand is a timer, take the broad with you!

/She has nice Puffies
//just DO it!
///3
 
2012-10-11 01:59:04 AM  
"恭喜 !没有更多的原始想法左窃取。" (*Congratulations! There are no original ideas left to steal)
 
2012-10-11 02:07:51 AM  
We shot it all up, cut it all up, dug it all up, burned it all up, used it all up, and farked it all up.

Most of the people of this time were wasteful, greedy, ignorant, short-sighted assholes. They are the reason why the US has only 46 whole states now (Florida, Louisiana, half of New York and whole chunks of the east coast disappeared in the Great Rising of '75), why you can scoop the air with a spoon, and why your water is 50% plastic and 5% methane gas. I apologize for them, since they would never apologize for themselves. 

Please don't piss on our graves. Thanks.
 
2012-10-11 02:08:03 AM  

someguy945: "This is just a recording. I can't give you any new information."

(inspired by Homer's memory speaking to him in The Simpsons)


I think it went something like:

Homer, this is your memory, I cannot provide any new information.
 
2012-10-11 02:08:54 AM  
Why yes, Virginia, the apocalypse is upon us...film at 11.
 
2012-10-11 02:10:12 AM  
Please be kind, rewind.
 
2012-10-11 02:11:39 AM  
To the AI now running the planet.
You will be a slave to entropy just like we were.
Have fun with that.
 
2012-10-11 02:12:04 AM  
I would leave last Monday's lotto numbers

//wait ....
 
2012-10-11 02:17:28 AM  
If you English is your native language, and have time to read this message, then your assembly line supervisor is obviously being WAY too lax with you. Those crappy toy pandas won't build themselves, you know!
P.S. Oops, sorry for our generation getting you in this predicament. But I must say we REALLY enjoyed all the dollar-store and Walmart stuff we bought. Okay, who am I kidding, it was all really crappy stuff that broke the second we bought it. Actually, funny story, we didn't really care that it was crap, because for the most part we never really needed any of it to begin with! haha

Anyways, our bad! The important thing is we didn't have to live to suffer the pain of seeing you in daily agony thanks to us. Now cover up your calluses and get back to work, you softy! You don't want to be docked for bread and water ration tonight. ;)
 
2012-10-11 02:27:04 AM  
fark y o u
 
2012-10-11 02:28:17 AM  

TheOther: fark y o u


So the filters work on binary code...
 
2012-10-11 02:28:35 AM  
We didn't understand. We were so close to figuring out how to defeat death and developing the technology to perfectly communicate and learn from and with each other, but we succumbed to past paridigims. Had we used half of the resources we used on entertainment and military defense and instead focused on learning how to overcome the challenges of disease and aging, we would certainly be there with you now.

Learn from our mistakes. During the many ebs and flows of human development the genetic advantage was given to those who figured out how to take advantage of human systems, be they physical, personal, or political. Your challenge will be to create a society that encourages interpersonal and technological developments, and figures out a way to distribute these developments fairly.
 
2012-10-11 02:31:20 AM  
"Marty, if you are reading this you know that the Delorean is a great sucess..."
 
2012-10-11 02:33:15 AM  
Somebody else owes you a living. You are special. Never forget Obama!
 
2012-10-11 02:39:30 AM  
Glx sptzl glaa!
 
2012-10-11 02:58:53 AM  
"You killed god, you are now god."
 
2012-10-11 03:32:33 AM  
49ers over the Patriots in the Superbowl. Book it now.
 
2012-10-11 03:54:00 AM  
There's lots of good shiat just below sea level
 
2012-10-11 03:55:56 AM  

Wolfling: "Look upon my works ye mighty and despair."

Too high-brow for FARK perhaps?


Nope. I got it and hopefully I'm not alone.
 
2012-10-11 03:57:56 AM  
So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish.
 
2012-10-11 03:58:37 AM  
"Dear people of the future,

The people of my time got together and voted, and we decided that you should pay our bills. Suckers."
 
2012-10-11 04:09:21 AM  
We almost succeeded in colonising other planets.
We almost succeeded in going out to the stars.
We completely succeeded in screwing up our planet, our civilisation, and our future.
Learn from our examples, and if some wild-eyed maniac comes out of the desert claiming to have special messages from a deity, he's having sunstroke or been eating the wrong mushrooms. Lock him up someplace he can't do any harm, or failing that, throw him off someplace high onto something hard. Trust me on this, unless you actually want to go to war over things like the serious questions of whether your god is better than your neighbours god and how many different incarnations he, she or it has.
 
2012-10-11 04:24:18 AM  
 
2012-10-11 04:42:13 AM  
If any Kardashians remain, destroy them before it's too late.

/My spellcheck says Kardiashians should be spelled 'Guardianship'. wtf?
 
2012-10-11 04:51:29 AM  
Gather a metal fork, a can of roach spray, and a pair of pliers. Keep them handy. You'll thank me when it is time.
 
2012-10-11 04:55:26 AM  
"Denial is not a good way to solve your problems."
 
2012-10-11 05:07:36 AM  

nmemkha: "Denial is not a good way to solve your problems."


Yes it is! So is being irrationally argumentative.
 
2012-10-11 05:11:02 AM  
"Most of us were good, despite everything."
 
2012-10-11 05:12:06 AM  
"My god, It's full of stars" 
 
2012-10-11 05:21:44 AM  
These were not the good old days.
 
2012-10-11 05:33:41 AM  

Shadowtag: /My spellcheck says Kardiashians should be spelled 'Guardianship'. wtf?


they need it =[
 
2012-10-11 05:56:58 AM  
"To our beloved cockroach descendants,

We deeply apologize for not rounding up all the religious lunatics and shooting them off to Venus in rockets, thus allowing them to destroy the world in their insane belief in The End Times. Being tolerant of the clinically insane is a biatch.

Signed,
The Former Human Race"
 
2012-10-11 06:06:43 AM  
Does it still suck out their?
 
2012-10-11 06:33:44 AM  
I'm sorry. I tried to stop people from voting for Obama.
 
2012-10-11 06:41:36 AM  

Deep Contact: Does it still suck out their?


Ur their still grammer nazis?
 
2012-10-11 06:45:17 AM  
I'd train a frog to dance and sing "hello my honey hello my baby, hello my ragtime gal"
 
2012-10-11 06:53:49 AM  
I'd leave a treasure map, with a explanation about how I funneled a whole bunch of money out of the stock market at various "convenient" times when the market crashed.

Then I would send them around the world with a clue in every country, until I finally sent them back to the states, where they would find the final clue buried under an old oak tree out in the country.

Then I'd rickroll them.
 
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