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(Digital Journal)   TSA goes from "humiliating" to "painful" via free testicle slaps during screening   (digitaljournal.com) divider line 84
    More: Asinine, eggs  
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15542 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Oct 2012 at 7:15 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
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Archived thread
2012-10-10 07:52:56 PM  
5 votes:

Fark It: As someone who opts out every time I travel, if I was assaulted by a TSA employee in the manner described in the article, then I would leave the airport in cuffs, and the TSA agent would be leaving in a stretcher. ITG all you want, but I'll take my chances with a federal grand jury, composed of taxpayers who are about as fed up as I am.



I'll second that. And if I were on the Jury I'd find you innocent regardless of your reaction and the damages you did. In fact I'd likely push for the jury to spontaneously award you 5 million dollars to be taken from the TSA general fund out of pure contrariness.

Jury nullification is a great and wonderful tradition. People should be aware of it and use it to destroy the TSA. It was used during the American war of independence to nullify British laws. Worked great.
2012-10-10 07:23:25 PM  
5 votes:
TSA fails on ALL levels.

I recommend decommission, madams and sirs.

Thank you.

P.S. The recent mortally ill woman humiliated for sport is unacceptable business. That is all.

P.P.S. To lead by example is the most difficult road to follow, but it rides on the peaks of mountains, and the view is amazing. Let us ride on the mountains together.
2012-10-10 08:08:34 PM  
4 votes:
No scans for us so I've told both my kids to yell "Mummy, Daddy! This man is touching my penis and it makes feel funny!". The youngest has autism so it is ingrained regardless. The oldest is an asshole like his mum so he'd do it for shiats and giggles.
2012-10-10 07:33:39 PM  
4 votes:
"The obvious goal of the TSA is to make the pat-down embarrassing enough for the average passenger that the vast majority of people will choose high-tech humiliation over the low-tech [testicle] check," Goldberg concluded. If deForest's disturbing testimony is accurate, then Goldberg might just be right.


By definition, a terrorist organization. Perhaps someone can do a drone strike on these people.
2012-10-10 07:25:20 PM  
4 votes:
I've never opted for a pat down but I wonder how they would deal with a trans person like myself if I chose to opt out. I can't imagine any scenario where the outcome is pleasant. I can see I either get a male screener to grope me innapropiatly while people wonder why that girl is getting a pat down by a dude. Or a female screener who thinks I'm hiding something in my pants and/or thinks I'm some kind of creep trying to get felt up by a lady. So my choices are either cancer, humilation, or being subjected to a full on strip search. isn't America grand...
2012-10-10 06:42:32 PM  
4 votes:
As someone who opts out every time I travel, if I was assaulted by a TSA employee in the manner described in the article, then I would leave the airport in cuffs, and the TSA agent would be leaving in a stretcher. ITG all you want, but I'll take my chances with a federal grand jury, composed of taxpayers who are about as fed up as I am.

I make sure I bring my computer with me too, and I never check my luggage. Sometimes it takes two of them to bring everything over when I opt out.

/gaggle of useless, illiterate monkeys
2012-10-10 06:06:06 PM  
4 votes:
Why do we put up with this shiat? There can't really be that many docile, lobotomized sacks of meat walking around this country, can there?
2012-10-10 09:35:31 PM  
3 votes:

CowardlyLion: Much as every aspect of the TSA is asinine, my only experience, so far, has been "reasonable" (insofar as any warrantless search can be). My guy was polite, asked why I didn't choose the scanner (and commiserated that, if blasting tons of x-rays at people proves harmful, he'll probably be among the first to know) and told me everything he was going to do prior to doing it. The agents are normal, poorly-paid folks--the system and a-holes who put the whole thing together are the ones to blame.


Pretty much this. I have never been mistreated by TSA and I opt out and get the pat-down every time. I'm polite, nice, and a bit apologetic and they're polite and apologetic too. I usually get them to laugh. Thanks to my dialysis, I have, on average, about 28 doctor/nurse appointments a year, so having someone give me an enhanced pat-down is not a big deal. I once answered some things for a TSA agent whose mom was going to need dialysis. I'm a goddamned ambassador of dialysis.

However, as an introvert, pretty much the last thing I want to blow my "social energy" on while traveling is sharing aspects of my medical information with strangers who happen to be working at an airport I need to pass though. I'm tired of explaining what that device in my luggage is and why I'm carrying big plastic bags of clear fluid. I miss the days of just walking through a metal detector and giving a closed-mouth half smile to the x-ray person. Just leave me alone so I can get to the part of ignoring my seat mate.
2012-10-10 08:36:37 PM  
3 votes:

Indubitably: Indubitably: sleeps in trees: No scans for us so I've told both my kids to yell "Mummy, Daddy! This man is touching my penis and it makes feel funny!". The youngest has autism so it is ingrained regardless. The oldest is an asshole like his mum so he'd do it for shiats and giggles.

Please quit programming your offspring.

Thank you.

Baby, you already knbow I love you enough, no?

*)


Yeah, I know. It's just how do you teach a child the right to their body (huge thing with us) yet let random strangers touch it or see it naked - in public? It undermined everything and reinforces that someone in a position of authority can deny you something if you do not submitt to them.

/gets my gander up
2012-10-10 07:56:10 PM  
3 votes:

WhoGAS: It's interesting. I've flown between San Diego and Oakland (and vice versa) numerous times but have never been groped or been made to go through one of those cancer machines.

I still just throw my stuff in a bucket, walk through the metal detector, get my stuff and go. Maybe I'm just the lucky one.


I guess they haven't made the body scanner a requirement. If you fly out of SFO you have to go through the scanner.

I opt out every time. Not because I'm concerned about health risks, but because I have the option, and if enough people stop exercising the option it will make it that much easier for them to take it away.
2012-10-10 07:53:45 PM  
3 votes:
I'm a frequent flyer and I opt-out every single time I fly. I simply don't like the idea of exposing myself to radiation when its not medically necessary. In my experience, the pat-downs have been getting more aggressive. I've also noticed that many TSA agents will argue with you when you politely request to opt-out.
2012-10-10 07:29:05 PM  
3 votes:
Bin laden won, and now we're getting our balls slapped from beyond the grave.
2012-10-10 07:20:30 PM  
3 votes:
TSA: Testicle Slapping Assholes
2012-10-10 05:29:57 PM  
3 votes:
I'm afraid I would have had a much more violent reaction under the circumstances
2012-10-10 10:58:31 PM  
2 votes:
You know, people often joke about 'if men had to do ____ like women do, the world would be a different place. Like, if men got pregnant, you could get an abortion at Taco Bell.

Well, I used to think men wouldn't put up with sexual harassment the way women (on the whole, obviously not every individual) do. It seems I was mistaken. I can't tell whether I should feel glad that my sexism was proven wrong, or sad that I basically can't get on an airplane anymore, because I won't tolerate this bullshiat which I still believe is unconstitutional.

I honestly can't understand why more people aren't violently angry enough to actually push back against the government badtouching their genitals whenever they feel like it makes the people who fund political campaigns shiatloads of money.

Because let's be clear, this is NOT about your safety. Your junk is getting grabbed to make some rich person richer. That's it. And you're taking it.

I seriously wonder wtf is going to happen to the kids who are going to grow up thinking this kind of behavior is the norm.
2012-10-10 09:39:23 PM  
2 votes:

CowardlyLion: I get the impression that you and luktti don't quite understand how government or large organizations work. I don't know if that's sad or cute.


I get the impression that you don't understand how government is supposed to work in the US of A. There are these things we call the "Constitution" and "Bill of Rights" that any number of people seem to have completely forgotten about, being perfectly willing to trade their own rights and those of everyone around them for the pure illusion of "security" provided by the DHS and TSA.
2012-10-10 08:57:48 PM  
2 votes:
Remember, they're just Good Germans doing their duty protecting the Homeland.
2012-10-10 08:52:01 PM  
2 votes:

mikes73: I'm a frequent flyer and I opt-out every single time I fly. I simply don't like the idea of exposing myself to radiation when its not medically necessary. In my experience, the pat-downs have been getting more aggressive. I've also noticed that many TSA agents will argue with you when you politely request to opt-out.


*THIS*. One of the airports I frequent was, until very recently, "too small", and didn't have a cancer-blaster, so that was one less Freedom Grope™ per trip, but my last time through, I learned they've added one...

But, yeah, the monkey at the machine that calls for the screener has been and remains an obnoxious twit, no matter the airport. The screeners have usually been very professional, but they've definitely started to get more aggressive.
2012-10-10 08:47:45 PM  
2 votes:
velocity.t-nation.com
2012-10-10 08:31:23 PM  
2 votes:

CowardlyLion: If we fire, fine, or imprison every thieving, rapey, or malevolent airport TSA agent, will the TSA become something good?


Yes. "Nonexistent."
2012-10-10 08:26:25 PM  
2 votes:

CowardlyLion: If we fire, fine, or imprison every thieving, rapey, or malevolent airport TSA agent, will the TSA become something good?


nonexistent
2012-10-10 08:22:02 PM  
2 votes:

Pray 4 Mojo: TheOther: Pray 4 Mojo: TheOther: Espertron: Are you expecting a revolution or something?

Meh...a semi-effective boycott of airlines, even if it only resulted in, say, a 20% reduction of passengers, would have them screaming at their Congresspuppets. Do it for the holiday season and it gets done even quicker.

Aren't we already doing that?

I am, but I didn't know it was a wide-spread thing.

I am. I don't have some great hyper-vigilant moral purpose or anything... I'm just tired of the entire hot mess of bullshirt that comes with commercial travel.

I'm down from about 20 flights per year in the mid 2000's to... let's see... one trip since 2010.

If I can't drive... I don't go. The one trip was for Hawaii... and kinda against my will.


Overseas, job-required, simply not enough time, yeah some times you just got to suck it up and get on the plane. Otherwise, I'd rather drive and miss the airport experience. I will say, that if you live within driving distance of a Canadian or Mexican airport, then book your flight from there and deny the US airports the landing fee.
2012-10-10 08:20:40 PM  
2 votes:

Espertron: Coco LaFemme: Why do we put up with this shiat? There can't really be that many docile, lobotomized sacks of meat walking around this country, can there?

Are you expecting a revolution or something?

Most people, I suspect, would rather endure the body scans and pat downs than the potential (no matter how minute) of someone actually smuggling something dangerous onto the plane. I'm not saying I agree with the TSA or their operations, but that's probably the mindset of the average traveler.


Actually, the average traveler is probably thinking 'okay, that's done, note to self: start Change.org petition. Now, is all my luggage here?'.

/really, though, the higher-ups like it, so it probably won't go away.
2012-10-10 08:16:08 PM  
2 votes:
Good. Maybe if enough people get humiliated by these goons, the public will start complaining and demanding something be done.
2012-10-10 08:13:30 PM  
2 votes:
I always do my level best to make the screener feel like a sexual harassment victim, and I wish more people employed that strategy. Make eye contact, waggle your eyebrows, and tell them they missed a spot and they better do it again.... for America.
2012-10-10 07:58:56 PM  
2 votes:
I really want to get one of those moulded rubber fake penises that you can slip over your own equipment. Specifically, one of the ones like they use in porn, say around 13" long.

Then, when I opt out, get patted down and asked "what's that", I can say "oh, I forgot about that, here you go", reach in my pants, pull out my still warm, fake man tool, and place it in the shocked screener's hand.

/I'm prolly on the no fly list now
//hey there TSA
2012-10-10 07:55:12 PM  
2 votes:

StoPPeRmobile: Well,m if they weren't in the TSA they would be two bit criminals.


"Two-bit criminal" would be several steps up from "TSA employee."
2012-10-10 07:49:40 PM  
2 votes:

Espertron: Are you expecting a revolution or something?


Meh...a semi-effective boycott of airlines, even if it only resulted in, say, a 20% reduction of passengers, would have them screaming at their Congresspuppets. Do it for the holiday season and it gets done even quicker.
2012-10-10 07:49:35 PM  
2 votes:
So how's that freedom thing working out? You've gone from the land of the free to a police state worthy of a Judge Dredd comic.
2012-10-10 07:35:42 PM  
2 votes:

red5ish: que.guero: Wouldn't being flicked in the testicles result in an automatic roundhouse kick to the flicker's face?

Never go roundhouse, you turn your back for an instant. Always go straight kick. It's faster too. But if the guy is leaning down you might just use your knee.


Just pee on the guy and blame it on your medically uncontrollable bladder spasms.
2012-10-10 07:33:38 PM  
2 votes:

Indubitably:
I have passed the TSA many times and never been manhandled.

Then you chose to get a dose of radiation from the scanner.
Also TFA happens to point out an incident where something happened to someone other than you. You might look into the whole phenomenon of things that happen to other people, because occasionally what happens to them happens to you.
2012-10-10 07:33:23 PM  
2 votes:
Much as every aspect of the TSA is asinine, my only experience, so far, has been "reasonable" (insofar as any warrantless search can be). My guy was polite, asked why I didn't choose the scanner (and commiserated that, if blasting tons of x-rays at people proves harmful, he'll probably be among the first to know) and told me everything he was going to do prior to doing it. The agents are normal, poorly-paid folks--the system and a-holes who put the whole thing together are the ones to blame.
2012-10-10 07:30:39 PM  
2 votes:

Fark It: As someone who opts out every time I travel, if I was assaulted by a TSA employee in the manner described in the article, then I would leave the airport in cuffs, and the TSA agent would be leaving in a stretcher. ITG all you want, but I'll take my chances with a federal grand jury, composed of taxpayers who are about as fed up as I am.

I make sure I bring my computer with me too, and I never check my luggage. Sometimes it takes two of them to bring everything over when I opt out.

/gaggle of useless, illiterate monkeys


And I would contribute to your defense fund. With glee.

/Just no killin. TSA drones aren't worth that.
2012-10-10 07:26:24 PM  
2 votes:
img230.imageshack.us
2012-10-10 07:20:17 PM  
2 votes:
If he does that, the screener gets a kick and a visit from the cops.

Screeners do not have free reign on things like that, it might be under the scope of security. And few judges will find testicle slapping under the purview of the security mandate.
2012-10-10 07:19:04 PM  
2 votes:

OtherLittleGuy: scottydoesntknow: The episode left deForest in a state of "humiliation, rage, and frustration," according to the report

I bet, no one like's being left black-n-blue balled.

This is genius. Allows them to cop a feeling, and if the person reacts out of pain, get a cop to arrest them for assault. Otherwise, you get to perform sexual acts while being paid AND protected.


I look forward to the day some TSA officer gets a couple of really good gropes and the media gets ahold of it. Pretty soon people will be suing left and right because they're now terrified of flying because the TSA brings back strong memories of getting molested in the past, and they want compensation.
2012-10-11 06:02:24 AM  
1 votes:

Need_MindBleach: Why the fark don't people do something about these assholes? Every goddamn week you see stories like this, and yet nothing happens....ever.


Stop flying.
2012-10-11 03:30:12 AM  
1 votes:
Did anyone notice the linked article at the bottom of the page about the Italian Supreme Court Justice calling for an international investigation into the "false flag" 9/11(/2001) attack? Is that just bs? The story was from 9/11/2012, but I don't recall a green-lit thread about it. Was Benghazi another false flag to keep the Italian story off the front page? We're through the rabbit glass here, sheeple.
2012-10-10 10:01:39 PM  
1 votes:

Big Dave: Nothing's stopping you from earning enough money to own your own plane.
Then you don't have to be manhandled by morons anymore, in fact you would never have to think about those people and what they do or what happens to them ever again.

TSA is never going away, it's never going to get better by hiring better people. It's a big 'ol addition to the cage we've been building around ourselves.  The people who have their own planes or government passes to bypass the groping probably laugh their asses off at these stories.


How about when they pull you over in your car to strip frisk you?

Or the mall?

Or the football stadium?
2012-10-10 09:27:27 PM  
1 votes:
How did no one post this yet?

farm1.staticflickr.com
2012-10-10 09:14:04 PM  
1 votes:
So, um, if they make me feel bad, like they've done something bad... can I call the cops?
2012-10-10 09:07:24 PM  
1 votes:
Make them pull the anal beads out. "You wanna know if they are explosive? You pull the farking things out. It took a long time to get them in there, I ain't touchin' them".
2012-10-10 09:06:13 PM  
1 votes:

CowardlyLion: Monkeyfark Ridiculous: CowardlyLion: Monkeyfark Ridiculous: CowardlyLion: The agents are normal, poorly-paid folks--the system and a-holes who put the whole thing together are the ones to blame.

People who are following orders are not to blame for what they personally do? This is what you're going with?

If we fire, fine, or imprison every thieving, rapey, or malevolent airport TSA agent, will the TSA become something good?

1. The agents should be fired, fined and imprisoned primarily because that would be a suitable response to their personal actions, not because of the effect it will have on the organization they work for.

2. Removing thieves and rapists, and the pressure on the TSA to change rules that habitually result in its agents being imprisoned, would result in a TSA that is better, if not good.

3. Yes; if adequately policed the TSA would probably become defunct.

4. Let's try it and find out.

What if we just did the sensible thing of dissolving the TSA (and, of course, sending criminal parts of the organization through the justice system) and not waste time trying to "fix" something that is fundamentally wrong and pointlessly deprives Americans of their rights?


Sure, sounds good.

I disagreed with your comment not because I would like to fix the TSA instead of dissolving it, but because I think TSA employees are to blame for what they do and should be dealt with accordingly (regardless of what happens to the organization as a whole).
2012-10-10 08:55:50 PM  
1 votes:
You asked for all this, America. You made your bed. Damn well sleep in it.
2012-10-10 08:52:51 PM  
1 votes:

Monkeyfark Ridiculous: CowardlyLion: Monkeyfark Ridiculous: CowardlyLion: The agents are normal, poorly-paid folks--the system and a-holes who put the whole thing together are the ones to blame.

People who are following orders are not to blame for what they personally do? This is what you're going with?

If we fire, fine, or imprison every thieving, rapey, or malevolent airport TSA agent, will the TSA become something good?

1. The agents should be fired, fined and imprisoned primarily because that would be a suitable response to their personal actions, not because of the effect it will have on the organization they work for.

2. Removing thieves and rapists, and the pressure on the TSA to change rules that habitually result in its agents being imprisoned, would result in a TSA that is better, if not good.

3. Yes; if adequately policed the TSA would probably become defunct.

4. Let's try it and find out.


What if we just did the sensible thing of dissolving the TSA (and, of course, sending criminal parts of the organization through the justice system) and not waste time trying to "fix" something that is fundamentally wrong and pointlessly deprives Americans of their rights?
2012-10-10 08:46:45 PM  
1 votes:
If we fire, fine, or imprison every thieving, rapey, or malevolent airport TSA agent, will the TSA become something good?

Does it really matter? Shouldn't we fire, fine, and imprison every thieving, rapey, or malevolent TSA agent simply because that is what we do to thieving, rapey, malevolent people?
2012-10-10 08:41:26 PM  
1 votes:

CowardlyLion: Monkeyfark Ridiculous: CowardlyLion: The agents are normal, poorly-paid folks--the system and a-holes who put the whole thing together are the ones to blame.

People who are following orders are not to blame for what they personally do? This is what you're going with?

If we fire, fine, or imprison every thieving, rapey, or malevolent airport TSA agent, will the TSA become something good?


1. The agents should be fired, fined and imprisoned primarily because that would be a suitable response to their personal actions, not because of the effect it will have on the organization they work for.

2. Removing thieves and rapists, and the pressure on the TSA to change rules that habitually result in its agents being imprisoned, would result in a TSA that is better, if not good.

3. Yes; if adequately policed the TSA would probably become defunct.

4. Let's try it and find out.
2012-10-10 08:22:51 PM  
1 votes:

Indubitably: Bathia_Mapes: MaudlinMutantMollusk: I'm afraid I would have had a much more violent reaction under the circumstances

I think most men would. This man showed amazing self-restraint.

He is a saint, at least, no?

*)


Damned close to being one, IMHO.
2012-10-10 08:18:34 PM  
1 votes:

Indubitably: sleeps in trees: No scans for us so I've told both my kids to yell "Mummy, Daddy! This man is touching my penis and it makes feel funny!". The youngest has autism so it is ingrained regardless. The oldest is an asshole like his mum so he'd do it for shiats and giggles.

Please quit programming your offspring.

Thank you.


So I let a stranger molest them? Fark off!
2012-10-10 08:14:58 PM  
1 votes:
I'd have dropped to the floor crying and screaming for a medic. Sued for pain and suffering / humiliation. Come at my testicle bro, daddy needs to retire
2012-10-10 08:07:11 PM  
1 votes:

Godscrack: Minorities and poor people get 'stop and frisk" and random strip searches in public.

Now rich folk get to experience the same thing.

[imageshack.us image 150x146]


Rich folk? You mean those who use...planes...to travel?

You sound like a poor minority.
2012-10-10 08:06:33 PM  
1 votes:

MaudlinMutantMollusk: I'm afraid I would have had a much more violent reaction under the circumstances


I think most men would. This man showed amazing self-restraint.
2012-10-10 08:01:55 PM  
1 votes:
I hope he's ready for my knee-jerk reaction ...

What would be helpful is the name of the TSA goons who pull this, posted on a website, with what airport they work at. Pictures are a plus.
2012-10-10 08:00:09 PM  
1 votes:
Victims next move should of been a kick to the 'security guards'(TSA goon) nuts.

/100% legal.
//Self Defense.
///No jury or Judge will convict you and as a bonus, the security guard could get jail time or a $5,000 fine.
////Pssst: never sign a non-disclosure agreement to get your payout from the TSA goons bosses. 
2012-10-10 07:59:24 PM  
1 votes:
This is abuse.

That is all.

*)
2012-10-10 07:58:19 PM  
1 votes:
New TSA uniforms...

rlv.zcache.com
2012-10-10 07:57:32 PM  
1 votes:

CowardlyLion: Much as every aspect of the TSA is asinine, my only experience, so far, has been "reasonable" (insofar as any warrantless search can be). My guy was polite, asked why I didn't choose the scanner (and commiserated that, if blasting tons of x-rays at people proves harmful, he'll probably be among the first to know) and told me everything he was going to do prior to doing it. The agents are normal, poorly-paid folks--the system and a-holes who put the whole thing together are the ones to blame.


Same here, though I've only had to fly 3x since 9/11. The last time I flew, I had a herniated disc and was walking with a cane. The line for the metal detector/groping area was very long, but one of the TSA came up and brought me and my finance to the front of the line because, "You shouldn't be standing in line with a cane." I was very appreciative at the humanity that still exists in some people, however I do believe it is security theater.
2012-10-10 07:56:31 PM  
1 votes:
pop viagra well beforehand and come well lubed up, and keep mentioning how the free taste tests are no strings attached.

/Moo00Ooaaan at every little touch.

//if you mastered tantric sex, then give him a willpower induced facial when your nut gets flicked.
2012-10-10 07:56:16 PM  
1 votes:
Meaningless and useless "apology" letter from the head of the TSA in 5....4...3....2.....
2012-10-10 07:53:58 PM  
1 votes:

The Southern Dandy: I just thought of something....imagine that....

A passenger can opt out of the xray scan and request a pat down, correct?
Can a female passenger request that pat down be conducted by a female TSA agent? If so, why?

Can a male passenger request a pat down by a female TSA agent? If not, why not?


Have you seen the "female" TSA agents?
*shudders*
2012-10-10 07:53:13 PM  
1 votes:

TheOther: Espertron: Are you expecting a revolution or something?

Meh...a semi-effective boycott of airlines, even if it only resulted in, say, a 20% reduction of passengers, would have them screaming at their Congresspuppets. Do it for the holiday season and it gets done even quicker.


Aren't we already doing that?
2012-10-10 07:51:46 PM  
1 votes:
He's already knelt down. As soon as he slaps your nuts, kick him square in the face and just tell the police it was an involuntary reflex.
2012-10-10 07:48:24 PM  
1 votes:

The Southern Dandy: I just thought of something....imagine that....

A passenger can opt out of the xray scan and request a pat down, correct?
Can a female passenger request that pat down be conducted by a female TSA agent? If so, why?

Can a male passenger request a pat down by a female TSA agent? If not, why not?


No woman would opt for the pat down versus going through the machine that doesn't get dangerously close to penetration.
2012-10-10 07:42:53 PM  
1 votes:
Somebody needs to wig out and beat the piss out of one of these TSA goons, then claim self defense against sexual assault.
2012-10-10 07:40:14 PM  
1 votes:
It's more fun if you go through the "screening" while erect.
2012-10-10 07:39:14 PM  
1 votes:
If I were that guy, Mr. TSA agent would be unconscious and I'd have gone to jail (and likely not remembered why).
2012-10-10 07:39:11 PM  
1 votes:

Espertron: red5ish: que.guero: Wouldn't being flicked in the testicles result in an automatic roundhouse kick to the flicker's face?

Never go roundhouse, you turn your back for an instant. Always go straight kick. It's faster too. But if the guy is leaning down you might just use your knee.

Just pee on the guy and blame it on your medically uncontrollable bladder spasms.


Or you could start screaming something to the effect of, "Bad touch!" or "Stranger Danger!"
2012-10-10 07:38:14 PM  
1 votes:
I had testicle surgery in June, the incision and scar now show up as "something" on the airport scan, so not only did I get a dose of radiation, I also got ball checked to make sure I hadn't stuffed one of them with explosives the last time I flew.
2012-10-10 07:34:39 PM  
1 votes:
Sad, sad commentary on what's become of America. John G. Graham wouldn't have been able to surprise his mother with a present in her luggage if the TSA had been around in the 1950s.
2012-10-10 07:34:12 PM  
1 votes:

que.guero: Wouldn't being flicked in the testicles result in an automatic roundhouse kick to the flicker's face?


Never go roundhouse, you turn your back for an instant. Always go straight kick. It's faster too. But if the guy is leaning down you might just use your knee.
2012-10-10 07:33:52 PM  
1 votes:
Well,m if they weren't in the TSA they would be two bit criminals.

I feel safer.
2012-10-10 07:32:05 PM  
1 votes:

que.guero: Wouldn't being flicked in the testicles result in an automatic roundhouse kick to the flicker's face?


Yeah, any mishandling of my nuts elicits a reflex "HULK SMASH" response from me. I'd definitely end up tasered and hogtied.
2012-10-10 07:29:40 PM  
1 votes:

que.guero: Wouldn't being flicked in the testicles result in an automatic roundhouse kick to the flicker's face?


No.

Knee and elbow/fist, most assuredly.
2012-10-10 07:29:32 PM  
1 votes:

Marcus Aurelius: You're the one that chose to fly commercial. Now moo like a good cow and get on the damned airplane.


Wow, only a couple of comments in and we're already to the, "lol ur too poor to fly charter" -- to paraphrase.
2012-10-10 07:29:24 PM  
1 votes:
Apples! Apples!
2012-10-10 07:28:26 PM  
1 votes:
um. Why don't we stop poking the hornets' nest?

www.worldatlas.com
2012-10-10 07:27:09 PM  
1 votes:
Wouldn't being flicked in the testicles result in an automatic roundhouse kick to the flicker's face?
2012-10-10 07:25:28 PM  
1 votes:
Feel safer yet, morons?
2012-10-10 07:24:42 PM  
1 votes:
Nothing's stopping you from earning enough money to own your own plane.
Then you don't have to be manhandled by morons anymore, in fact you would never have to think about those people and what they do or what happens to them ever again.

TSA is never going away, it's never going to get better by hiring better people. It's a big 'ol addition to the cage we've been building around ourselves.  The people who have their own planes or government passes to bypass the groping probably laugh their asses off at these stories.
2012-10-10 07:21:50 PM  
1 votes:

Coco LaFemme: Why do we put up with this shiat? There can't really be that many docile, lobotomized sacks of meat walking around this country, can there?


53% of the population, according to one source.
2012-10-10 07:07:52 PM  
1 votes:

MaudlinMutantMollusk: I'm afraid I would have had a much more violent reaction under the circumstances


Me too, and we'd both be in jail right now. For punching a guy who just slapped our fu*king balls. That is not right.

The TSA gets me closer to murder than anything else. Even Illinois Nazis.
2012-10-10 06:24:45 PM  
1 votes:
Y'know, I remember Ghastly joking about how the TSA grope-downs might make him spontaneously say things like "now spit in my mouth and call me a whore", but I didn't expect the TSA to take it seriously.

/The safeword is banana
2012-10-10 05:49:09 PM  
1 votes:
You can get that for free now?!?
2012-10-10 05:27:08 PM  
1 votes:
You're the one that chose to fly commercial. Now moo like a good cow and get on the damned airplane.
 
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