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(Digital Journal)   TSA goes from "humiliating" to "painful" via free testicle slaps during screening   (digitaljournal.com) divider line 188
    More: Asinine, eggs  
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15530 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Oct 2012 at 7:15 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-10-10 08:01:31 PM

The Southern Dandy: I just thought of something....imagine that....

A passenger can opt out of the xray scan and request a pat down, correct?
Can a female passenger request that pat down be conducted by a female TSA agent? If so, why?

Can a male passenger request a pat down by a female TSA agent? If not, why not?


Like the one on the left? No, thanks!

img201.imageshack.us

Also, can Jerry Sandusky request a pat down by an underage TSA agent?
 
2012-10-10 08:01:55 PM
I hope he's ready for my knee-jerk reaction ...

What would be helpful is the name of the TSA goons who pull this, posted on a website, with what airport they work at. Pictures are a plus.
 
2012-10-10 08:02:06 PM
or detective.
 
2012-10-10 08:03:22 PM

Road Rash: I hope he's ready for my knee-jerk reaction ...

What would be helpful is the name of the TSA goons who pull this, posted on a website, with what airport they work at. Pictures are a plus.


Agreed.

Go.

Do.

*)
 
2012-10-10 08:05:52 PM

OSULugan: Usually, you pay double for that kind of action, Cotton.


Where'd you hear that? The Ocho?
 
2012-10-10 08:06:33 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: I'm afraid I would have had a much more violent reaction under the circumstances


I think most men would. This man showed amazing self-restraint.
 
2012-10-10 08:07:11 PM

Godscrack: Minorities and poor people get 'stop and frisk" and random strip searches in public.

Now rich folk get to experience the same thing.

[imageshack.us image 150x146]


Rich folk? You mean those who use...planes...to travel?

You sound like a poor minority.
 
2012-10-10 08:08:34 PM
No scans for us so I've told both my kids to yell "Mummy, Daddy! This man is touching my penis and it makes feel funny!". The youngest has autism so it is ingrained regardless. The oldest is an asshole like his mum so he'd do it for shiats and giggles.
 
2012-10-10 08:11:48 PM

Bathia_Mapes: MaudlinMutantMollusk: I'm afraid I would have had a much more violent reaction under the circumstances

I think most men would. This man showed amazing self-restraint.


He is a saint, at least, no?

*)
 
2012-10-10 08:12:00 PM

TheOther: Pray 4 Mojo: TheOther: Espertron: Are you expecting a revolution or something?

Meh...a semi-effective boycott of airlines, even if it only resulted in, say, a 20% reduction of passengers, would have them screaming at their Congresspuppets. Do it for the holiday season and it gets done even quicker.

Aren't we already doing that?

I am, but I didn't know it was a wide-spread thing.


I am. I don't have some great hyper-vigilant moral purpose or anything... I'm just tired of the entire hot mess of bullshirt that comes with commercial travel.

I'm down from about 20 flights per year in the mid 2000's to... let's see... one trip since 2010.

If I can't drive... I don't go. The one trip was for Hawaii... and kinda against my will.
 
2012-10-10 08:13:08 PM
profile.ak.fbcdn.net

On the case.
 
2012-10-10 08:13:30 PM
I always do my level best to make the screener feel like a sexual harassment victim, and I wish more people employed that strategy. Make eye contact, waggle your eyebrows, and tell them they missed a spot and they better do it again.... for America.
 
2012-10-10 08:14:22 PM

pottie: OSULugan: Usually, you pay double for that kind of action, Cotton.

No, no, it's the happy ending you pay double for.


I always thought that the service was free and the payment was just to make them shut up and go away.
 
2012-10-10 08:14:54 PM

The Southern Dandy: I just thought of something....imagine that....

A passenger can opt out of the xray scan and request a pat down, correct?
Can a female passenger request that pat down be conducted by a female TSA agent? If so, why?

Can a male passenger request a pat down by a female TSA agent? If not, why not?


What if i said i was gay? Would they get me a female screener?

If they do and i start moaning, what would they do?

What if i say i was gay and they still give me a male screener and i start moaning?
 
2012-10-10 08:14:58 PM
I'd have dropped to the floor crying and screaming for a medic. Sued for pain and suffering / humiliation. Come at my testicle bro, daddy needs to retire
 
2012-10-10 08:15:11 PM

sleeps in trees: No scans for us so I've told both my kids to yell "Mummy, Daddy! This man is touching my penis and it makes feel funny!". The youngest has autism so it is ingrained regardless. The oldest is an asshole like his mum so he'd do it for shiats and giggles.


Please quit programming your offspring.

Thank you.
 
2012-10-10 08:16:08 PM
Good. Maybe if enough people get humiliated by these goons, the public will start complaining and demanding something be done.
 
2012-10-10 08:16:35 PM

Indubitably: sleeps in trees: No scans for us so I've told both my kids to yell "Mummy, Daddy! This man is touching my penis and it makes feel funny!". The youngest has autism so it is ingrained regardless. The oldest is an asshole like his mum so he'd do it for shiats and giggles.

Please quit programming your offspring.

Thank you.


Baby, you already knbow I love you enough, no?

*)
 
2012-10-10 08:18:34 PM

Indubitably: sleeps in trees: No scans for us so I've told both my kids to yell "Mummy, Daddy! This man is touching my penis and it makes feel funny!". The youngest has autism so it is ingrained regardless. The oldest is an asshole like his mum so he'd do it for shiats and giggles.

Please quit programming your offspring.

Thank you.


So I let a stranger molest them? Fark off!
 
2012-10-10 08:20:10 PM

China White Tea: better do it again.... for America.


Awesome
 
2012-10-10 08:20:40 PM

Espertron: Coco LaFemme: Why do we put up with this shiat? There can't really be that many docile, lobotomized sacks of meat walking around this country, can there?

Are you expecting a revolution or something?

Most people, I suspect, would rather endure the body scans and pat downs than the potential (no matter how minute) of someone actually smuggling something dangerous onto the plane. I'm not saying I agree with the TSA or their operations, but that's probably the mindset of the average traveler.


Actually, the average traveler is probably thinking 'okay, that's done, note to self: start Change.org petition. Now, is all my luggage here?'.

/really, though, the higher-ups like it, so it probably won't go away.
 
2012-10-10 08:22:02 PM

Pray 4 Mojo: TheOther: Pray 4 Mojo: TheOther: Espertron: Are you expecting a revolution or something?

Meh...a semi-effective boycott of airlines, even if it only resulted in, say, a 20% reduction of passengers, would have them screaming at their Congresspuppets. Do it for the holiday season and it gets done even quicker.

Aren't we already doing that?

I am, but I didn't know it was a wide-spread thing.

I am. I don't have some great hyper-vigilant moral purpose or anything... I'm just tired of the entire hot mess of bullshirt that comes with commercial travel.

I'm down from about 20 flights per year in the mid 2000's to... let's see... one trip since 2010.

If I can't drive... I don't go. The one trip was for Hawaii... and kinda against my will.


Overseas, job-required, simply not enough time, yeah some times you just got to suck it up and get on the plane. Otherwise, I'd rather drive and miss the airport experience. I will say, that if you live within driving distance of a Canadian or Mexican airport, then book your flight from there and deny the US airports the landing fee.
 
2012-10-10 08:22:51 PM

Indubitably: Bathia_Mapes: MaudlinMutantMollusk: I'm afraid I would have had a much more violent reaction under the circumstances

I think most men would. This man showed amazing self-restraint.

He is a saint, at least, no?

*)


Damned close to being one, IMHO.
 
2012-10-10 08:23:28 PM

Monkeyfark Ridiculous: CowardlyLion: The agents are normal, poorly-paid folks--the system and a-holes who put the whole thing together are the ones to blame.

People who are following orders are not to blame for what they personally do? This is what you're going with?


If we fire, fine, or imprison every thieving, rapey, or malevolent airport TSA agent, will the TSA become something good?
 
2012-10-10 08:26:25 PM

CowardlyLion: If we fire, fine, or imprison every thieving, rapey, or malevolent airport TSA agent, will the TSA become something good?


nonexistent
 
2012-10-10 08:31:23 PM

CowardlyLion: If we fire, fine, or imprison every thieving, rapey, or malevolent airport TSA agent, will the TSA become something good?


Yes. "Nonexistent."
 
2012-10-10 08:36:37 PM

Indubitably: Indubitably: sleeps in trees: No scans for us so I've told both my kids to yell "Mummy, Daddy! This man is touching my penis and it makes feel funny!". The youngest has autism so it is ingrained regardless. The oldest is an asshole like his mum so he'd do it for shiats and giggles.

Please quit programming your offspring.

Thank you.

Baby, you already knbow I love you enough, no?

*)


Yeah, I know. It's just how do you teach a child the right to their body (huge thing with us) yet let random strangers touch it or see it naked - in public? It undermined everything and reinforces that someone in a position of authority can deny you something if you do not submitt to them.

/gets my gander up
 
2012-10-10 08:41:26 PM

CowardlyLion: Monkeyfark Ridiculous: CowardlyLion: The agents are normal, poorly-paid folks--the system and a-holes who put the whole thing together are the ones to blame.

People who are following orders are not to blame for what they personally do? This is what you're going with?

If we fire, fine, or imprison every thieving, rapey, or malevolent airport TSA agent, will the TSA become something good?


1. The agents should be fired, fined and imprisoned primarily because that would be a suitable response to their personal actions, not because of the effect it will have on the organization they work for.

2. Removing thieves and rapists, and the pressure on the TSA to change rules that habitually result in its agents being imprisoned, would result in a TSA that is better, if not good.

3. Yes; if adequately policed the TSA would probably become defunct.

4. Let's try it and find out.
 
2012-10-10 08:45:40 PM

Caradoc: CowardlyLion: If we fire, fine, or imprison every thieving, rapey, or malevolent airport TSA agent, will the TSA become something good?

Yes. "Nonexistent."


I get the impression that you and luktti don't quite understand how government or large organizations work. I don't know if that's sad or cute.
 
2012-10-10 08:45:47 PM
At least he didn't try to give the guy a zj.
 
2012-10-10 08:46:45 PM
If we fire, fine, or imprison every thieving, rapey, or malevolent airport TSA agent, will the TSA become something good?

Does it really matter? Shouldn't we fire, fine, and imprison every thieving, rapey, or malevolent TSA agent simply because that is what we do to thieving, rapey, malevolent people?
 
2012-10-10 08:47:45 PM
velocity.t-nation.com
 
2012-10-10 08:51:46 PM
crusadeagainstbs.com
 
2012-10-10 08:51:47 PM

Bathia_Mapes: MaudlinMutantMollusk: I'm afraid I would have had a much more violent reaction under the circumstances

I think most men would. This man showed amazing self-restraint.


That, or we have just discovered the man whose nickname launched a million insults

/Numbnuts
 
2012-10-10 08:52:01 PM

mikes73: I'm a frequent flyer and I opt-out every single time I fly. I simply don't like the idea of exposing myself to radiation when its not medically necessary. In my experience, the pat-downs have been getting more aggressive. I've also noticed that many TSA agents will argue with you when you politely request to opt-out.


*THIS*. One of the airports I frequent was, until very recently, "too small", and didn't have a cancer-blaster, so that was one less Freedom Grope™ per trip, but my last time through, I learned they've added one...

But, yeah, the monkey at the machine that calls for the screener has been and remains an obnoxious twit, no matter the airport. The screeners have usually been very professional, but they've definitely started to get more aggressive.
 
2012-10-10 08:52:51 PM

Monkeyfark Ridiculous: CowardlyLion: Monkeyfark Ridiculous: CowardlyLion: The agents are normal, poorly-paid folks--the system and a-holes who put the whole thing together are the ones to blame.

People who are following orders are not to blame for what they personally do? This is what you're going with?

If we fire, fine, or imprison every thieving, rapey, or malevolent airport TSA agent, will the TSA become something good?

1. The agents should be fired, fined and imprisoned primarily because that would be a suitable response to their personal actions, not because of the effect it will have on the organization they work for.

2. Removing thieves and rapists, and the pressure on the TSA to change rules that habitually result in its agents being imprisoned, would result in a TSA that is better, if not good.

3. Yes; if adequately policed the TSA would probably become defunct.

4. Let's try it and find out.


What if we just did the sensible thing of dissolving the TSA (and, of course, sending criminal parts of the organization through the justice system) and not waste time trying to "fix" something that is fundamentally wrong and pointlessly deprives Americans of their rights?
 
2012-10-10 08:55:50 PM
You asked for all this, America. You made your bed. Damn well sleep in it.
 
2012-10-10 08:57:48 PM
Remember, they're just Good Germans doing their duty protecting the Homeland.
 
2012-10-10 08:59:01 PM

Colin O'Scopy: You asked for all this, America. You made your bed. Damn well sleep in it.


I disagree. The TSA was fobbed on us by George W Bush. Most of us have common sense and would like to see the TSA disappear forever.
 
2012-10-10 09:04:50 PM
Whatever happened to the Torture Bracelets? I thought for sure they'd be pushing those on us by now.
 
2012-10-10 09:06:13 PM

CowardlyLion: Monkeyfark Ridiculous: CowardlyLion: Monkeyfark Ridiculous: CowardlyLion: The agents are normal, poorly-paid folks--the system and a-holes who put the whole thing together are the ones to blame.

People who are following orders are not to blame for what they personally do? This is what you're going with?

If we fire, fine, or imprison every thieving, rapey, or malevolent airport TSA agent, will the TSA become something good?

1. The agents should be fired, fined and imprisoned primarily because that would be a suitable response to their personal actions, not because of the effect it will have on the organization they work for.

2. Removing thieves and rapists, and the pressure on the TSA to change rules that habitually result in its agents being imprisoned, would result in a TSA that is better, if not good.

3. Yes; if adequately policed the TSA would probably become defunct.

4. Let's try it and find out.

What if we just did the sensible thing of dissolving the TSA (and, of course, sending criminal parts of the organization through the justice system) and not waste time trying to "fix" something that is fundamentally wrong and pointlessly deprives Americans of their rights?


Sure, sounds good.

I disagreed with your comment not because I would like to fix the TSA instead of dissolving it, but because I think TSA employees are to blame for what they do and should be dealt with accordingly (regardless of what happens to the organization as a whole).
 
2012-10-10 09:07:24 PM
Make them pull the anal beads out. "You wanna know if they are explosive? You pull the farking things out. It took a long time to get them in there, I ain't touchin' them".
 
2012-10-10 09:14:04 PM
So, um, if they make me feel bad, like they've done something bad... can I call the cops?
 
2012-10-10 09:16:31 PM
I am not trying to cause a shiat storm here, but has there been any irrefutable and reproducible evidence that the "cancer canons" actually have caused significant rises in cancer to people exposed to them?
 
2012-10-10 09:17:34 PM

Cyno01: The Southern Dandy: I just thought of something....imagine that....

A passenger can opt out of the xray scan and request a pat down, correct?
Can a female passenger request that pat down be conducted by a female TSA agent? If so, why?

Can a male passenger request a pat down by a female TSA agent? If not, why not?

What if i said i was gay? Would they get me a female screener?

If they do and i start moaning, what would they do?

What if i say i was gay and they still give me a male screener and i start moaning?


We're on the same page. They wanna molest me, I'm gonna give it right back to them. oh Oh OH OOOOOh OOOOOOOoOOHHHHHH YES!
 
2012-10-10 09:24:02 PM

scottydoesntknow: TheManofPA: Bring on the testicle clamps
[t3.gstatic.com image 120x88]
/hot

"Fluggaenkdechioebolsen! Fluggaenkdechioebolsen!!"



Well played.....both of you.
 
2012-10-10 09:27:27 PM
How did no one post this yet?

farm1.staticflickr.com
 
2012-10-10 09:35:31 PM

CowardlyLion: Much as every aspect of the TSA is asinine, my only experience, so far, has been "reasonable" (insofar as any warrantless search can be). My guy was polite, asked why I didn't choose the scanner (and commiserated that, if blasting tons of x-rays at people proves harmful, he'll probably be among the first to know) and told me everything he was going to do prior to doing it. The agents are normal, poorly-paid folks--the system and a-holes who put the whole thing together are the ones to blame.


Pretty much this. I have never been mistreated by TSA and I opt out and get the pat-down every time. I'm polite, nice, and a bit apologetic and they're polite and apologetic too. I usually get them to laugh. Thanks to my dialysis, I have, on average, about 28 doctor/nurse appointments a year, so having someone give me an enhanced pat-down is not a big deal. I once answered some things for a TSA agent whose mom was going to need dialysis. I'm a goddamned ambassador of dialysis.

However, as an introvert, pretty much the last thing I want to blow my "social energy" on while traveling is sharing aspects of my medical information with strangers who happen to be working at an airport I need to pass though. I'm tired of explaining what that device in my luggage is and why I'm carrying big plastic bags of clear fluid. I miss the days of just walking through a metal detector and giving a closed-mouth half smile to the x-ray person. Just leave me alone so I can get to the part of ignoring my seat mate.
 
2012-10-10 09:39:23 PM

CowardlyLion: I get the impression that you and luktti don't quite understand how government or large organizations work. I don't know if that's sad or cute.


I get the impression that you don't understand how government is supposed to work in the US of A. There are these things we call the "Constitution" and "Bill of Rights" that any number of people seem to have completely forgotten about, being perfectly willing to trade their own rights and those of everyone around them for the pure illusion of "security" provided by the DHS and TSA.
 
2012-10-10 09:43:04 PM
upload.wikimedia.org
 
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