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(Digital Journal)   TSA goes from "humiliating" to "painful" via free testicle slaps during screening   (digitaljournal.com) divider line 188
    More: Asinine, eggs  
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15530 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Oct 2012 at 7:15 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-10-10 07:34:39 PM
Sad, sad commentary on what's become of America. John G. Graham wouldn't have been able to surprise his mother with a present in her luggage if the TSA had been around in the 1950s.
 
2012-10-10 07:35:28 PM

The Southern Dandy: que.guero: Wouldn't being flicked in the testicles result in an automatic roundhouse kick to the flicker's face?

Yeah, any mishandling of my nuts elicits a reflex "HULK SMASH" response from me. I'd definitely end up tasered and hogtied.


Yeah, that's pretty good: think Hulk and Loki in Avengers, no?

;)
 
2012-10-10 07:35:42 PM

red5ish: que.guero: Wouldn't being flicked in the testicles result in an automatic roundhouse kick to the flicker's face?

Never go roundhouse, you turn your back for an instant. Always go straight kick. It's faster too. But if the guy is leaning down you might just use your knee.


Just pee on the guy and blame it on your medically uncontrollable bladder spasms.
 
2012-10-10 07:36:44 PM

Big Dave: Indubitably:
I have passed the TSA many times and never been manhandled.
Then you chose to get a dose of radiation from the scanner.
Also TFA happens to point out an incident where something happened to someone other than you. You might look into the whole phenomenon of things that happen to other people, because occasionally what happens to them happens to you.


You keep running with that, Big Dave.

;)
 
2012-10-10 07:37:39 PM

The Stealth Hippopotamus: You can get that for free now?!?


Well, at least for the cost of air fare.
 
2012-10-10 07:38:14 PM
I had testicle surgery in June, the incision and scar now show up as "something" on the airport scan, so not only did I get a dose of radiation, I also got ball checked to make sure I hadn't stuffed one of them with explosives the last time I flew.
 
2012-10-10 07:38:49 PM

Indubitably: Big Dave: Indubitably:
I have passed the TSA many times and never been manhandled.
Then you chose to get a dose of radiation from the scanner.
Also TFA happens to point out an incident where something happened to someone other than you. You might look into the whole phenomenon of things that happen to other people, because occasionally what happens to them happens to you.

You keep running with that, Big Dave.

;)


I'm trying something new in honor of G-Pa:

*)

P.S. To the human twinkle in the eye
 
2012-10-10 07:39:11 PM

Espertron: red5ish: que.guero: Wouldn't being flicked in the testicles result in an automatic roundhouse kick to the flicker's face?

Never go roundhouse, you turn your back for an instant. Always go straight kick. It's faster too. But if the guy is leaning down you might just use your knee.

Just pee on the guy and blame it on your medically uncontrollable bladder spasms.


Or you could start screaming something to the effect of, "Bad touch!" or "Stranger Danger!"
 
2012-10-10 07:39:14 PM
If I were that guy, Mr. TSA agent would be unconscious and I'd have gone to jail (and likely not remembered why).
 
2012-10-10 07:39:28 PM

Espertron: Coco LaFemme: Why do we put up with this shiat? There can't really be that many docile, lobotomized sacks of meat walking around this country, can there?

Are you expecting a revolution or something?

Most people, I suspect, would rather endure the body scans and pat downs than the potential (no matter how minute) of someone actually smuggling something dangerous onto the plane. I'm not saying I agree with the TSA or their operations, but that's probably the mindset of the average traveler. follow orders.


FTFY.
Now STFU and GBTW.
 
2012-10-10 07:40:03 PM

Indubitably: Indubitably: Big Dave: Indubitably:
I have passed the TSA many times and never been manhandled.
Then you chose to get a dose of radiation from the scanner.
Also TFA happens to point out an incident where something happened to someone other than you. You might look into the whole phenomenon of things that happen to other people, because occasionally what happens to them happens to you.

You keep running with that, Big Dave.

;)

I'm trying something new in honor of G-Pa:

*)

P.S. To the human twinkle in the eye


P.P.S. To twinkle as bright as a star is easy on earth, but what of the heavens?
 
2012-10-10 07:40:14 PM
It's more fun if you go through the "screening" while erect.
 
2012-10-10 07:40:32 PM

Kaiser Bill's Batman: I had testicle surgery in June, the incision and scar now show up as "something" on the airport scan, so not only did I get a dose of radiation, I also got ball checked to make sure I hadn't stuffed one of them with explosives the last time I flew.


Maybe you should've opted out of the solid steel neuticles
 
2012-10-10 07:40:33 PM
Way to go there, slapnuts.
 
2012-10-10 07:42:40 PM

scottydoesntknow: Kaiser Bill's Batman: I had testicle surgery in June, the incision and scar now show up as "something" on the airport scan, so not only did I get a dose of radiation, I also got ball checked to make sure I hadn't stuffed one of them with explosives the last time I flew.

Maybe you should've opted out of the solid steel neuticles


3.bp.blogspot.com 

/fear
 
2012-10-10 07:42:53 PM
Somebody needs to wig out and beat the piss out of one of these TSA goons, then claim self defense against sexual assault.
 
2012-10-10 07:43:30 PM
What I find humiliating is that cold steel thing they slide up your cooch and the actual groping you get when they get curious if your tits are real. I understand a quick 3 second feel to the under boob area.. pinching and rubbing of the nipples seems excessive.
 
2012-10-10 07:43:49 PM
It's interesting. I've flown between San Diego and Oakland (and vice versa) numerous times but have never been groped or been made to go through one of those cancer machines.

I still just throw my stuff in a bucket, walk through the metal detector, get my stuff and go. Maybe I'm just the lucky one.
 
2012-10-10 07:45:52 PM
I just thought of something....imagine that....

A passenger can opt out of the xray scan and request a pat down, correct?
Can a female passenger request that pat down be conducted by a female TSA agent? If so, why?

Can a male passenger request a pat down by a female TSA agent? If not, why not?
 
2012-10-10 07:48:24 PM

The Southern Dandy: I just thought of something....imagine that....

A passenger can opt out of the xray scan and request a pat down, correct?
Can a female passenger request that pat down be conducted by a female TSA agent? If so, why?

Can a male passenger request a pat down by a female TSA agent? If not, why not?


No woman would opt for the pat down versus going through the machine that doesn't get dangerously close to penetration.
 
2012-10-10 07:48:42 PM

WhoGAS: It's interesting. I've flown between San Diego and Oakland (and vice versa) numerous times but have never been groped or been made to go through one of those cancer machines.

I still just throw my stuff in a bucket, walk through the metal detector, get my stuff and go. Maybe I'm just the lucky one.


You sound either attractive or private decective material.
 
2012-10-10 07:49:35 PM
So how's that freedom thing working out? You've gone from the land of the free to a police state worthy of a Judge Dredd comic.
 
2012-10-10 07:49:40 PM

Espertron: Are you expecting a revolution or something?


Meh...a semi-effective boycott of airlines, even if it only resulted in, say, a 20% reduction of passengers, would have them screaming at their Congresspuppets. Do it for the holiday season and it gets done even quicker.
 
2012-10-10 07:50:43 PM
TSA testicle chair device
torture.justsickshit.com
 
2012-10-10 07:51:11 PM
Opt out and say you want the cute burly guy to feel you up using a falsetto voice...
Come here big guy! WINK!
 
2012-10-10 07:51:46 PM
He's already knelt down. As soon as he slaps your nuts, kick him square in the face and just tell the police it was an involuntary reflex.
 
2012-10-10 07:51:50 PM

HotIgneous Intruder: Somebody needs to wig out and beat the piss out of one of these TSA goons, then claim self defense against sexual assault.



Yeah, from their new home in Guantanamo.

Thanks NDAA!
 
2012-10-10 07:52:07 PM

GungFu: Next time I'm in America, I'm gonna work myself up an erection and let them have a feel. And I'd smile and I'd smile some more when they ask me to go for a private search and as I enter the room, I drop my pants and bend over in anticipation. And then I'd groan and moan and ask them their names and say those names in a seductive manner.

Then I'd sue the bastards for emotional rape and penis/ anus

/ ballsack assault. 

FTFM
 
2012-10-10 07:52:50 PM

HotIgneous Intruder: Somebody needs to wig out and beat the piss out of one of these TSA goons, then claim self defense against sexual assault.


Some-body, you say?

Please.

Don't.

Non-violence works great, mans, thank you in advance for your non-vile-ence.

*)
 
2012-10-10 07:52:53 PM

cookiefleck: What I find humiliating is that cold steel thing they slide up your cooch and the actual groping you get when they get curious if your tits are real. I understand a quick 3 second feel to the under boob area.. pinching and rubbing of the nipples seems excessive.


Sorry.
punditkitchen.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-10-10 07:52:56 PM

Fark It: As someone who opts out every time I travel, if I was assaulted by a TSA employee in the manner described in the article, then I would leave the airport in cuffs, and the TSA agent would be leaving in a stretcher. ITG all you want, but I'll take my chances with a federal grand jury, composed of taxpayers who are about as fed up as I am.



I'll second that. And if I were on the Jury I'd find you innocent regardless of your reaction and the damages you did. In fact I'd likely push for the jury to spontaneously award you 5 million dollars to be taken from the TSA general fund out of pure contrariness.

Jury nullification is a great and wonderful tradition. People should be aware of it and use it to destroy the TSA. It was used during the American war of independence to nullify British laws. Worked great.
 
2012-10-10 07:53:13 PM

TheOther: Espertron: Are you expecting a revolution or something?

Meh...a semi-effective boycott of airlines, even if it only resulted in, say, a 20% reduction of passengers, would have them screaming at their Congresspuppets. Do it for the holiday season and it gets done even quicker.


Aren't we already doing that?
 
2012-10-10 07:53:45 PM
I'm a frequent flyer and I opt-out every single time I fly. I simply don't like the idea of exposing myself to radiation when its not medically necessary. In my experience, the pat-downs have been getting more aggressive. I've also noticed that many TSA agents will argue with you when you politely request to opt-out.
 
2012-10-10 07:53:58 PM

The Southern Dandy: I just thought of something....imagine that....

A passenger can opt out of the xray scan and request a pat down, correct?
Can a female passenger request that pat down be conducted by a female TSA agent? If so, why?

Can a male passenger request a pat down by a female TSA agent? If not, why not?


Have you seen the "female" TSA agents?
*shudders*
 
2012-10-10 07:54:33 PM

OSULugan: Usually, you pay double for that kind of action, Cotton.


No, no, it's the happy ending you pay double for.
 
2012-10-10 07:55:12 PM

StoPPeRmobile: Well,m if they weren't in the TSA they would be two bit criminals.


"Two-bit criminal" would be several steps up from "TSA employee."
 
2012-10-10 07:56:10 PM

WhoGAS: It's interesting. I've flown between San Diego and Oakland (and vice versa) numerous times but have never been groped or been made to go through one of those cancer machines.

I still just throw my stuff in a bucket, walk through the metal detector, get my stuff and go. Maybe I'm just the lucky one.


I guess they haven't made the body scanner a requirement. If you fly out of SFO you have to go through the scanner.

I opt out every time. Not because I'm concerned about health risks, but because I have the option, and if enough people stop exercising the option it will make it that much easier for them to take it away.
 
2012-10-10 07:56:16 PM
Meaningless and useless "apology" letter from the head of the TSA in 5....4...3....2.....
 
2012-10-10 07:56:31 PM
pop viagra well beforehand and come well lubed up, and keep mentioning how the free taste tests are no strings attached.

/Moo00Ooaaan at every little touch.

//if you mastered tantric sex, then give him a willpower induced facial when your nut gets flicked.
 
2012-10-10 07:56:34 PM
So much for your constitution.
Pussies.
 
2012-10-10 07:57:32 PM

CowardlyLion: Much as every aspect of the TSA is asinine, my only experience, so far, has been "reasonable" (insofar as any warrantless search can be). My guy was polite, asked why I didn't choose the scanner (and commiserated that, if blasting tons of x-rays at people proves harmful, he'll probably be among the first to know) and told me everything he was going to do prior to doing it. The agents are normal, poorly-paid folks--the system and a-holes who put the whole thing together are the ones to blame.


Same here, though I've only had to fly 3x since 9/11. The last time I flew, I had a herniated disc and was walking with a cane. The line for the metal detector/groping area was very long, but one of the TSA came up and brought me and my finance to the front of the line because, "You shouldn't be standing in line with a cane." I was very appreciative at the humanity that still exists in some people, however I do believe it is security theater.
 
2012-10-10 07:58:04 PM

Pray 4 Mojo: TheOther: Espertron: Are you expecting a revolution or something?

Meh...a semi-effective boycott of airlines, even if it only resulted in, say, a 20% reduction of passengers, would have them screaming at their Congresspuppets. Do it for the holiday season and it gets done even quicker.

Aren't we already doing that?


I am, but I didn't know it was a wide-spread thing.
 
2012-10-10 07:58:19 PM
New TSA uniforms...

rlv.zcache.com
 
2012-10-10 07:58:40 PM
The episode left deForest in a state of "humiliation, rage, and frustration eye-watering agony," according to the report. 

FTFTFA
 
2012-10-10 07:58:56 PM
I really want to get one of those moulded rubber fake penises that you can slip over your own equipment. Specifically, one of the ones like they use in porn, say around 13" long.

Then, when I opt out, get patted down and asked "what's that", I can say "oh, I forgot about that, here you go", reach in my pants, pull out my still warm, fake man tool, and place it in the shocked screener's hand.

/I'm prolly on the no fly list now
//hey there TSA
 
2012-10-10 07:59:06 PM

Amos Quito: [images.intimatewholesalers.com image 350x450]

Always wear protection, I say.


Do you wear your jock a lot? (Yes, I wear my jock a lot.)
Got to wear your jock a lot. (Got to wear your jock a lot.)
Jock a lot, jock a lot. (You gotta wear your jock a lot.)
Got to wear your jock a lot (You gotta wear your jock a lot.)

Well, down on the football,
Football field,
You never can tell
What a heel can wield,

So you gotta wear your jock a lot. (You gotta wear your jock a lot.)
Jock a lot, jock a lot. (You gotta wear your jock a lot.)
 
2012-10-10 07:59:15 PM

CowardlyLion: The agents are normal, poorly-paid folks--the system and a-holes who put the whole thing together are the ones to blame.


People who are following orders are not to blame for what they personally do? This is what you're going with?
 
2012-10-10 07:59:24 PM
This is abuse.

That is all.

*)
 
2012-10-10 07:59:54 PM

matovichj: me and my finance


You gold-digging slut.
 
2012-10-10 08:00:09 PM
Victims next move should of been a kick to the 'security guards'(TSA goon) nuts.

/100% legal.
//Self Defense.
///No jury or Judge will convict you and as a bonus, the security guard could get jail time or a $5,000 fine.
////Pssst: never sign a non-disclosure agreement to get your payout from the TSA goons bosses. 
 
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