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(ABC Local)   Bubonic Plague discovered in California. Symptoms include fever, chills, swollen lymph nodes and the urge to be hurled over the wall of a medieval Russian city   (abclocal.go.com) divider line 31
    More: Scary, Russians, Rialto, walls  
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6959 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Oct 2012 at 12:05 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-10-10 12:47:49 PM
5 votes:
CDC Fark Info Sheet - Yersina pestis, the Plague, the Black Death, Bubonic, Pneumonic Plague

What it is
A parasitic organism borne by the fleas of rats and other animals, unless of course it was all a mistake.

Symptoms
Swelling of the lymph nodes, causing the caracteristic lumps which gives the Bubonic plague its name; death; completely different symptoms. Some patients may claim not to be dead. They are in denial. Knock them over the head. It must be true that Germans have absolutely no sense of irony or humour.

Public security
The plague can be prevented by education, animal control and the building of massive expensive military bases to squash the wildlife and locals. Of course, the building of massive public works prorojects is impossible on Indian reservations, so stay away from brownish people with long dark greasy hair. An exception may be made for Alice Cooper, as it is well known that he eats rats for breakfast.



Epidemilogy
Endemic in many areas, the plague is borne by the fleas of rats, mice, cats, dogs, ground squirrels, moo-moos, moose, gnus, ducks, geese, trees ... and especially rabbits.

Treatment
It is now known that plagues are often preceded by earthquakes, which disturb the rat populations, and by famines, especially when rat populations explode during years when the bamboo flowers and bear fruit in India or China.

Since earthquakes are caused by homosexuality, Jews, unfaithfulness to God, heatheness, and anything that annoys Pat Robertson, such as zombie devil worship in Haiti, the medieval doctors weren't far off in in prescribing a good auto-da-fé burning the Jews, heretics, witches, wild women, cats, etc., in order to curry favour with God and other bullies of that ilk.

Antibiotics are also good if fire permits can not be obtained from the Fire Marshall.

Public Advisory
The public is advised to panic. Panic in the Streets (1950). B&W. A doctor and a policeman in New Orleans have only 48 hours to locate a killer infected with pneumonic plague. Director: Elia Kazan. Writers: Richard Murphy (screenplay), Daniel Fuchs (adaptation). This is the model for every subsequent plague movie, except for French adapatations of The Plague (La Peste) by Albert Camus.

The plague in Camus' La Peste is a metaphor for Naziism and collaboration during the war. The existentialist philosopher and writer, through his mouth piece, the hero of the story, tells us that you are either a victim (victime), a doctor (médicin) or an executioner (bourreau), and that even though there is no God or purpose to life, you should choose to be a doctor rather than a victim or an executioner.

Compare the themes of this novel with Ionesco's wartime play Rhinocéros. How bloody stupid where the Nazis not to realize that they were being mocked?
2012-10-10 02:12:14 PM
4 votes:

Litig8r: FTA: Riverside County officials said it was the first test of an animal in the county that showed signs of the plague in nearly a decade.

Isn't it just "Plague?" As in: "He was diagnosed with Plague."

One isn't diagnosed with "the cholera" or "the typhoid" or "the influenza."


Until you hit about 60 or so, then you start getting all manner of afflictions like "the rheumatism" and "the diabeetus".
2012-10-10 12:36:41 PM
3 votes:

DontMakeMeComeBackThere: There are different kinds of plague (Bubonic, Neumonic, etc). Bubonic is the king daddy of plagues, so it's taken to being called The plague.


We use the indefinite article "the" plague. Never "your" plague.
2012-10-10 12:14:48 PM
3 votes:
malialitman.files.wordpress.com

/run away!
2012-10-10 11:03:26 AM
3 votes:
Smithers, give him the plague. 

t2.gstatic.com
2012-10-10 01:32:10 PM
2 votes:
303magazine.com

I heard that you were feeling ill
Headache, fever and a chill...
2012-10-10 01:26:32 PM
2 votes:
Sure, infecting wealthy countries is easy, but you have to spend your DNA points carefully so your Plague isn't noticed until you can ramp up the symptoms and overwhelm the cure effort.
2012-10-10 12:49:37 PM
2 votes:
Crap. Made a mish-mash out of that. Whole paragraphs and sentences are out of place.

Fun activity: try to figure out which sentences and paragraphs have been mislaid and put them back in the right place. Did it make the post any funnier?

I was afraid of that.
2012-10-10 10:50:46 AM
2 votes:
3.bp.blogspot.com
2012-10-11 12:02:39 PM
1 votes:

highwayrun: Loaf's Tray: Prevention is the key - check your bubons!

It was named so for the swellings, or "buboes", to distinguish it from other plagues (pneumonia, influenza, cholera) that did not produce prominent swellings.


Kindly keep your book learnin' outta my titty jokes...
2012-10-10 06:30:23 PM
1 votes:

Litig8r: FTA: Riverside County officials said it was the first test of an animal in the county that showed signs of the plague in nearly a decade.

Isn't it just "Plague?" As in: "He was diagnosed with Plague."

One isn't diagnosed with "the cholera" or "the typhoid" or "the influenza."


But you do get the collywobbles.
2012-10-10 05:55:17 PM
1 votes:
It's only a problem along the Oregon Trail.
2012-10-10 04:49:48 PM
1 votes:

Vectron: I'm selling possies if anyone is interested.


Oooooh. Possies.

Nevermind! Thought you said something else.
2012-10-10 04:46:01 PM
1 votes:
I apologize.

I apologize.

I apologize.

I apologize.

I apologize.
2012-10-10 02:56:39 PM
1 votes:
I'm selling possies if anyone is interested.
2012-10-10 02:43:53 PM
1 votes:
Bugger- I've fed something like three consecutive generations of ground squirrels from the original female who started hitting my balcony feeder. The later generations won't even touch the feeder at first, but will sit on the railing and shout squirrel-y bad language at the windows until I come out and hand-feed them, at which point they will then condescend to eat the rest.

Gets pretty funny when the squirrels, crows and scrub jays get into very loud, noisy arguments over who gets first crack at the Food Goddess. Most of the neighbors think it's highly amusing if a bit weird, but there have been a few who were genuinely creeped out by the way I talk to animals- and they talk back.

Ah well, just whack me over the head and haul me off when the dead cart comes 'round...
2012-10-10 01:47:00 PM
1 votes:
In other news, this Southern California man tested positive for the Bubonic Chronic:

cloudfront2.bostinno.com
2012-10-10 01:32:26 PM
1 votes:
What shall we do with the drunken whaler,
what shall we do with the drunken whaler,
what shall we do with the drunken whaler early in the morning?

/better not be obscure.
//or Dishonorable.
2012-10-10 01:05:10 PM
1 votes:

CornerPocket: The good news is all those bacteria will be registered to vote in time for November.


Wow, add a few billion bacteria to the voting population, and there will be 99.9999999% parasites. You know, instead of the 47% parasites there are now. Lazy goddamn active combat zone military...
2012-10-10 12:56:58 PM
1 votes:
The good news is all those bacteria will be registered to vote in time for November.
2012-10-10 12:41:43 PM
1 votes:
If this hit those states and areas with rattle snake round-ups, shiat going to hit the fan
2012-10-10 12:39:30 PM
1 votes:
I thought I read somewhere that herpes was actually a mutation that made people immune to the plague, if so about 85% of Cali should disregard...
2012-10-10 12:31:10 PM
1 votes:
my-hit.ru

Does not approve of this headline.
2012-10-10 12:26:37 PM
1 votes:
I've had worse.
2012-10-10 12:26:16 PM
1 votes:
I'm ok with this.
2012-10-10 12:16:58 PM
1 votes:
Attention all personnel. The black death is coming, the black death is coming! The great pestilence is finally upon us. Repent! Repent!!

images.tvrage.com

/I'll bet your lymph nodes are as big as cats!
2012-10-10 12:14:47 PM
1 votes:
"Health officials advise anyone with symptoms or who has been in a known plague area to contact their doctor immediately."

I was in Jersey recently, I'm calling right now.
2012-10-10 12:14:46 PM
1 votes:
4.bp.blogspot.com

The plague? That's just a cold, it's nothing.
2012-10-10 12:13:06 PM
1 votes:
FTA: Riverside County officials said it was the first test of an animal in the county that showed signs of the plague in nearly a decade.

Isn't it just "Plague?" As in: "He was diagnosed with Plague."

One isn't diagnosed with "the cholera" or "the typhoid" or "the influenza."
2012-10-10 11:29:11 AM
1 votes:
Luckily this is Fark, because that is definitely not news.
2012-10-10 11:13:18 AM
1 votes:
Ground Squirrels?

(checks article...)
 
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