If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(NPR)   Welcome to Sizzler, it's a pleasure to serve you. The buffet is right over there. Oh, what's this? Your Gastric Bypass Discount Card? Very good, sir, you can park your mobility scooter right there on the right   (npr.org) divider line 46
    More: Stupid, WLS, Cracker Barrel, pleasures, family practices, Red Lobster  
•       •       •

19184 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Oct 2012 at 12:37 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-10-10 12:49:51 PM
5 votes:

dittybopper:
Sweet Potatoes
Timberline Chili
Yeast Rolls
50+ Toppings on our Fresh Cold Salad Bar



I think the yeast rolls are on their customers, not on the menu.
2012-10-10 12:43:02 PM
5 votes:

Sybarite: If you're eating at the Golden Corral buffet, I'm pretty sure you haven't actually addressed the issues that made you fat in the first place.


HEY!

balanceoffood.typepad.com
2012-10-10 09:33:47 AM
5 votes:
Sizzler? What is this, 1987?
2012-10-10 11:59:47 AM
4 votes:

dittybopper: Sybarite: If you're eating at the Golden Corral buffet, I'm pretty sure you haven't actually addressed the issues that made you fat in the first place.

Not necessarily. Here is their everyday menu:


I think by "issues," Sybarite means things like incest and emotional abuse, not poor eating habits. If you're eating at Golden Corral, there's a pretty good chance there's some deep wound within you that you're trying to cover with their chocolate fountain of shame (and assorted beard hairs).
2012-10-10 10:19:41 AM
3 votes:
So you need doctors' orders and a special card issued so you can somehow manage not to gorge, or be charged for only a normal amount of food instead of the restaurants standard order, which is 2 to 5 times enough calories. I have a unique and revolutionary proposal: You don't order as much food, or you don't eat everything they bring you and instead stop when you are supposed to.

Buy my book and I'm running for office, this amazing new personal responsibility will sweep the nation.
2012-10-10 09:45:06 AM
3 votes:
That's like giving an alcoholic free drinks in exchange for their AA medallions. Which a bar in here in Minneapolis did back in the day, they had a wall full of them.
2012-10-10 09:30:13 AM
3 votes:
This article is further proof that the once noble American Experiment has failed, and serves as a reminder that I need to get my Canadian citizenship documents in order.
2012-10-10 01:37:22 PM
2 votes:

CygnusDarius: fireclown: big pig peaches: Well the veggies depend as a lot on how they are prepared, but rotisserie chicken is pretty horrifying. Unless you're doing the low carb thing, and then there is still some debate about how the chicken was raised.

You sound Portlandian.

I always heard that if you boil vegetables, you kill what's nutritious of them. That it's best to eat them raw (clean, of course), and with no dressing whatsoever.


Yes, cooking stuff has completely removed all the nutrition. That's why the human race died out long ago.
2012-10-10 01:31:26 PM
2 votes:

CygnusDarius: fireclown: big pig peaches: Well the veggies depend as a lot on how they are prepared, but rotisserie chicken is pretty horrifying. Unless you're doing the low carb thing, and then there is still some debate about how the chicken was raised.

You sound Portlandian.

I always heard that if you boil vegetables, you kill what's nutritious of them. That it's best to eat them raw (clean, of course), and with no dressing whatsoever.


That sounds horrifying!
2012-10-10 01:10:22 PM
2 votes:
all according to plan

4.bp.blogspot.com
2012-10-10 01:09:38 PM
2 votes:
I have a csb. Back in my teen years I worked at the local Golden Corral. Some lady wanted to pay the children's price because she had had the gastric bypass and couldn't eat as much as a normal adult. She had a doctor's note and everything. I told her no, but would get my manager to speak to her. She vowed to never enter that restaurant again.
2012-10-10 01:07:36 PM
2 votes:

carrion_luggage: Sort of like all-you-can't-eat.


Yes. Because too many Americans took a Challenge Accepted attitude to that, and it hurts the restaurants' bottom lines.

"You here FOUR HOUR!! Why you here four hour?! You scare my wife!! You reave now! You go!!"
2012-10-10 12:51:34 PM
2 votes:
I absolutely love how all the gastric bypass surgery does forcefully encourage people to eat less. And it's incredibly effective.

You can get the same benefit, for free, by simply eating the same amount you'd eat if you'd had the surgery.

But no, no, it's a medical condition and I've tried every diet and nothing works! Unless you cut out my stomach so I can't eat and am forced to follow a diet - then everything works great!
2012-10-10 12:49:00 PM
2 votes:
Sort of like all-you-can't-eat.
2012-10-10 12:47:37 PM
2 votes:
4.bp.blogspot.com

"It's wafer-thin, monsieur."
2012-10-10 12:47:23 PM
2 votes:
Gravy pipe? Deep fried whole pumpkins?
2012-10-10 12:43:03 PM
2 votes:
Where is my discount for being healthfully thin and not eating nearly as much as the fatass at the next table over?
2012-10-10 05:50:36 PM
1 votes:

CheetahOlivetti: I run slowly


Then your login is totally wrong.

/so is mine, really
2012-10-10 04:30:08 PM
1 votes:

kiwimoogle84: WeenerGord: kiwimoogle84: Interestingly enough, she would wear the same size bra/shirt as me, as well as the same pants size. Those are my hip and chest proportions, and I'm between a 10 and 12 now. I have a 28 inch waist, but it works for me.

So you kind of disproved yourself, because those hip and chest measurements support the thought that she'd be a 10-12. She just had an infinitely smaller waist, which can be achieved by wearing a size 12 dress and adding a belt.

Pics or GTFO

You can see my figure in my profile, dude. Particularly the one of me laying on the floor in the blue shirt. You can also see how tall I am.


Looks shopped... some of the pixels are out of place and the gamut in particular is off.
2012-10-10 01:49:09 PM
1 votes:
The trick with the gastric bypass is to train yourself ahead of the surgery for three months, gradually reducing your portions to what you'll be forced to eating after the surgery. Then don't have the surgery.
2012-10-10 01:44:20 PM
1 votes:

ScottRiqui: busy chillin': Mark Ratner: Hagbardr: Where is my discount for being rail thin and usually only able to finish half a regular restaurant portion?

They don't give out to discount cards to anorexic people.

/yeah, sure you have a high metabolism

You sound fat.

/yeah I called you fat, look at me I'm skinny

But has it ever stopped you from getting busy?


Nope. I'm a freak
I like the girls with the boom
I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom
2012-10-10 01:44:05 PM
1 votes:
Ride your bike an hour a day/4-5 days a week.
No fast food.
No sodas (except after a pounding 1.5 hour ride)
Don't eat pre-prepared food.

There. Problem solved.
2012-10-10 01:39:06 PM
1 votes:

kiwimoogle84: Smelly Pirate Hooker: I know we at Fark jump at the chance to make fun of the fatties, but the article makes clear that the discount card is for people who can't or don't want to eat a ton of food at all-you-can-eat-type places. So I don't see the problem. (shrug)

Don't you have a gym to get to, submitter?

But why would a person who has had weight loss surgery go to a buffet? And they can split plates or order smaller things already. I don't see why this is necessary.


I dunno. Maybe other family member just HAVE to go to Golden Corral or wherever. I think it's like accompanying an alcoholic to a bar so he/she can drink soda all night, but then, I try to be logical. Not everybody can be super-awesome like me.
2012-10-10 01:32:45 PM
1 votes:
CSB:

I know a guy who is an eating machine. I only see him at a Christmas dinner, where there is a lot of food. I don't think his arms ever stopped moving from table to mouth (except to put on the Santa suit for the wee ones). He wanted to get gastric bypass, but wouldn't go in for the mandatory counseling, and he was rejected. So he got a lap-band instead ( I guess the requirements are less stringent, or his doctor's name was Nick Riviera.)

I saw him the next Christmas. Still the same size. His arms were still moving, cramming food into his figgy-pudding-hole just like always, although I noticed a bead of sweat rolling down his temple. He was fighting that band with everything he had. I could just picture the tension on that lap-band, on the verge of snapping quite audibly to everyone in the room.

It was fascinating to watch his resolve to enjoy every morsel in the room.

/eat less, exercise more.
//worked for me.
///75lbs gone, running my second marathon next week.
2012-10-10 01:26:54 PM
1 votes:

BolshyGreatYarblocks: You here FOUR HOUR!! Why you here four hour?! You scare my wife!! You reave now! You go!!"


You so beeeg! Why you eat spare rib? EAT VEGETABLE!
2012-10-10 01:21:41 PM
1 votes:
Yawn....wake me when bars offer discounts for guys on waiting list for liver transplant.
2012-10-10 01:21:39 PM
1 votes:

fireclown: big pig peaches: Well the veggies depend as a lot on how they are prepared, but rotisserie chicken is pretty horrifying. Unless you're doing the low carb thing, and then there is still some debate about how the chicken was raised.

You sound Portlandian.


I always heard that if you boil vegetables, you kill what's nutritious of them. That it's best to eat them raw (clean, of course), and with no dressing whatsoever.
2012-10-10 01:21:26 PM
1 votes:

Amy78: I have a csb. Back in my teen years I worked at the local Golden Corral. Some lady wanted to pay the children's price because she had had the gastric bypass and couldn't eat as much as a normal adult. She had a doctor's note and everything. I told her no, but would get my manager to speak to her. She vowed to never enter that restaurant again.


I love customers like that. I'm sure you were ready to close down shop, because she wouldn't dine there

/Worked Customer Service for 15+ years and have heard it all
2012-10-10 01:20:00 PM
1 votes:

big pig peaches: Well the veggies depend as a lot on how they are prepared, but rotisserie chicken is pretty horrifying. Unless you're doing the low carb thing, and then there is still some debate about how the chicken was raised.


You sound Portlandian.
2012-10-10 01:19:56 PM
1 votes:

sigdiamond2000: This article is further proof that the once noble American Experiment has failed, and serves as a reminder that I need to get my Canadian citizenship documents in order.


Actually, it proved it was a success, but this is the decline of things. Everything in this world, even abstract constructs, are subject to entropy, and in this case, Social Entropy. It's only natural that the 'American dream' we used to know no longer exists, now being replaced by a new one, and in a few generations this one will cease to exist only to be replaced by another social construct.
2012-10-10 01:16:49 PM
1 votes:
I understand this phenomenon, the whole "I don't want to pay $18 for twice as much food as I'll actually eat" thing, but there ARE options.

You can not fill up on free bread beforehand. Eat the veggies first. Save half for later. Split a plate with someone. Or just order a side of something. I do this a lot- order a side dinner salad and share an appetizer and call it dinner.

I think this is a bad idea. People who have had GP's shouldn't be eating at buffets. At ALL. And honestly, they can do any of the suggestions I've given above. If your stomach can only hold half a sandwich, then share a plate with someone! You don't need your own order!

Also, personal responsibility doesn't exist anymore. If you neglect your body to the point that walking 30 steps into the grocery store pains you, you shouldn't get handicap placards. Y'all need to walk. If you have a legit medical issue I understand, but a lot of people who are hugely obese blame a "thyroid problem" and yet proceed to eat two bags of McDonald's. I have no sympathy for you.

I'm positive some people here will think I'm trolling, but I'm not. As an ex EMT, I got more calls for shortness of breath for people who weighed twice what I do. I'm going, you know why you can't breathe? BECAUSE YOUR BLOAT IS CRUSHING YOUR LUNGS!

And don't get me started on the girlfriend of mine who complained she was fat but then proceeded to tell me she didn't like vegetables, and orders a "salad" with lettuce, bacon, crispy chicken, and five kinds of cheese, and drowns it in ranch dressing.

/ endrant
2012-10-10 01:15:48 PM
1 votes:
Is this the thread where I come in and tell the fatties to put down the fork and practice personal responsibility? If so, I love these type of threads!
2012-10-10 01:13:10 PM
1 votes:

busy chillin': Mark Ratner: Hagbardr: Where is my discount for being rail thin and usually only able to finish half a regular restaurant portion?

They don't give out to discount cards to anorexic people.

/yeah, sure you have a high metabolism

You sound fat.

/yeah I called you fat, look at me I'm skinny


But has it ever stopped you from getting busy?
2012-10-10 01:12:12 PM
1 votes:

dittybopper: big pig peaches: Well the veggies depend as a lot on how they are prepared, but rotisserie chicken is pretty horrifying. Unless you're doing the low carb thing, and then there is still some debate about how the chicken was raised.

Rotisserie chicken isn't that bad. It's just roasted. It's *FRIED* chicken that will kill you.


Well, it's not alfredo but compared to a grilled chicken breast, yes it is. If you''re choosing it for health reasons, just have a steak.
2012-10-10 01:05:59 PM
1 votes:

vernonFL: Sizzler? What is this, 1987?


So, House of Pancakes instead?
2012-10-10 01:00:18 PM
1 votes:
When did the bar get lowered this much?
2012-10-10 12:58:03 PM
1 votes:

Mark Ratner: Hagbardr: Where is my discount for being rail thin and usually only able to finish half a regular restaurant portion?

They don't give out to discount cards to anorexic people.

/yeah, sure you have a high metabolism


You sound fat.

/yeah I called you fat, look at me I'm skinny
2012-10-10 12:54:05 PM
1 votes:
Sick a fork in yourself, America, you're done!
2012-10-10 12:50:59 PM
1 votes:

Hagbardr: Where is my discount for being rail thin and usually only able to finish half a regular restaurant portion?


They don't give out to discount cards to anorexic people.

/yeah, sure you have a high metabolism
2012-10-10 12:48:07 PM
1 votes:
Where is my discount for being rail thin and usually only able to finish half a regular restaurant portion?
2012-10-10 12:42:44 PM
1 votes:
dittybopper:

Corn


I bolded everything that is pretty much unequivocally healthy food, and yes that includes grilled red meat. You could eat "Lean and Green" at a Golden Corral quite easily.


Ummmmmmm no.
2012-10-10 12:39:45 PM
1 votes:
FTFA:
These cards aren't a new phenomenon - they've been around in the U.S. at least since the 1990s,

Damn you, Fartbama!!
2012-10-10 11:37:50 AM
1 votes:

Sybarite: If you're eating at the Golden Corral buffet, I'm pretty sure you haven't actually addressed the issues that made you fat in the first place.


Not necessarily. Here is their everyday menu:

Everyday Menu Items
Assorted Steamed Vegetables
Awesome Pot Roast
Baked Potatoes
Banana Pudding
Bourbon Street Chicken
Broccoli
Cabbage

Carrot Cake
Carrots
Cauliflower

Chocolate Cake w/ Chocolate Frosting
Clam Chowder
Coleslaw
Corn
Fresh fruit

Fried Chicken
Fudgy Brownies
Green Beans
Greens
Grilled-to-order USDA Sirloin Steaks (*dinner only)

Macaroni & Cheese
Macaroni Salad
Mashed Potatoes & Gravy
Meatloaf
No Sugar Added Chocolate Pudding
Pizza
Potato Salad
Rotisserie Chicken
Seafood Salad
Soft Serve Ice Cream
Spaghetti
Sugar Free Red Gelatin
Sweet Potatoes
Timberline Chili
Yeast Rolls
50+ Toppings on our Fresh Cold Salad Bar


I bolded everything that is pretty much unequivocally healthy food, and yes that includes grilled red meat. You could eat "Lean and Green" at a Golden Corral quite easily. 

/Gave half-credit for the fresh cold salad bar, as some of it probably is good, and some bad.
2012-10-10 11:07:43 AM
1 votes:
If you're eating at the Golden Corral buffet, I'm pretty sure you haven't actually addressed the issues that made you fat in the first place.
2012-10-10 10:07:16 AM
1 votes:
So you have to have a note from your doctor to get a meal with a reasonable portion size?
2012-10-10 09:53:18 AM
1 votes:
Discount cards? News to me, and the distaffbopper had that surgery.
 
Displayed 46 of 46 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report