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(My Fox DC)   Most of us know how to handle D.C. traffic circles. FARK: This guy does not. (w/ video)   (myfoxdc.com) divider line 118
    More: Fail, roundabouts  
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13134 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Oct 2012 at 10:22 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-10-10 11:06:59 AM

RickyWilliams'sBong: Bundalo: I thought the rule for traffic circles in DC was to close your eyes, mash on the gas pedal, and hope for the best. Am I wrong?

Now here's somebody who's been to DC.


True dat. I've made many ventures unscathed so far. The people in the rear view ain't my problem. :D
 
2012-10-10 11:09:13 AM
DC took teh concept of roundabouts and turned it into a nightmare. Why the fark would you put stop lights at them?!?! But the person in the video needs to have their car impounded and license revoked.
 
2012-10-10 11:09:43 AM
That guy was clearly intoxicated, and you can see other people in the video running around the car with their cell phones obviously trying to contact police. One guy even tried standing in front of the car to get the guy to stop (a dumb move).

True story: I was walking from the Improv in DC to the Renaissance hotel (probably 2 blocks from the white house) one night, and a shiat faced guy driving a $100k audi and wearing a very nice suit pulled up on the curb, got out, pissed on the side of his own car, and then got back in and drove off. It was absurd to me, because at the time there were literally cops standing on every street corner.. yet nobody but me seemed to notice.
 
2012-10-10 11:10:09 AM

RickyWilliams'sBong: Bundalo: I thought the rule for traffic circles in DC was to close your eyes, mash on the gas pedal, and hope for the best. Am I wrong?

Now here's somebody who's been to DC.


Yeah, but he did forget to mention never, ever, under any circumstances should you use your turn signals. That's a big one.
 
2012-10-10 11:11:45 AM

rize7: Anyone calling it a "traffic circle" and not a roundabout is part of the problem.


Thank you for that. Traffic Circle? Nope.
 
2012-10-10 11:12:17 AM
Bundalo:

I thought the rule for traffic circles in DC was to close your eyes, mash on the gas pedal, and hope for the best. Am I wrong?


ugh, of course you're wrong. You forgot the part about laying on the horn and weaving in and out of traffic while zooming up to someone's bumper. You obviously haven't been driving very long.
 
2012-10-10 11:15:55 AM
The inverted Illuminati star claims another victim!

I've lived and have been a pedestrian in DC for about 15 years now. In that time, I have seen people driving around Dupont circle, at rush hour, in the wrong direction, more than once. How anyone survives as a driver in this city is beyond me.
 
2012-10-10 11:16:47 AM

Prevailing Wind: LesterB: Blueintheballs: Cold_Sassy: Blueintheballs: Pussy.

[historc.files.wordpress.com image 560x328]

Where IS that??

It's in Swindon, UK. Known locally as the magic roundabout. Never actually gone through it but it looks like fun!

And now we know why Thursday Next settled there; it's obviously a time portal.

Love me some FForde


Also, as I live in Carmel, IN, I'm getting a kick...


When the fark is he going to write the next 'Shades of Grey' book, damnit!
 
2012-10-10 11:18:32 AM

Pocket Ninja: Subby, nobody knows how to handle DC traffic circles. Or any traffic circle, for that matter. They exist solely as a source of amusement for traffic engineers, and if you want proof of that just take a drive down Route 15 from Warrenton to Leesburg.


DC traffic circles are the greatest example of how to design a traffic circle that contains all of the negatives of circles, and none of the benefits. In general, you are correct, yet in DC they understand the synergistic effect of incompetence and malice. Thus, while a normal traffic circle in the US will have inexplicable traffic lights and simply lets road markings fade, DC takes it to the next level by neglecting any useful signage and introducing irregular lanes, contradictory markings, and 400' wide pedestrian zones.

The cherry on top is unleashing a horde of tourists into an area with numerous diplomatic plates, angry commuters, and the usual DCinduced contempt for all humanity.
 
2012-10-10 11:23:35 AM

Pocket Ninja: Subby, nobody knows how to handle DC traffic circles. Or any traffic circle, for that matter. They exist solely as a source of amusement for traffic engineers, and if you want proof of that just take a drive down Route 15 from Warrenton to Leesburg.


You don't think 29 in Fairfax is worse? Who the fark puts a road THROUGH a traffic circle?
 
2012-10-10 11:28:15 AM

blatz514: rize7: Anyone calling it a "traffic circle" and not a roundabout is part of the problem.

Thank you for that. Traffic Circle? Nope.


Depends where you're from. Here in NJ, it's a 'traffic circle'. 'Rotary' or 'roundabout' may be regionally acceptable variations in your area.

\'soda' or 'pop' or 'coke'?
\\'bag' or 'sack'?
 
2012-10-10 11:32:08 AM
DC traffic circles are messed up. I had no problem handling them when I lived in the UK for a year, but my first time in one here was ridiculous.

On some, you have to take the outside circle to go straight through the intersection, on others, you take the inside circle. Luckily my first time was a Sunday so there wasn't traffic coming the other way when I ran the red lights.
 
2012-10-10 11:34:06 AM

CheekyMonkey: blatz514: rize7: Anyone calling it a "traffic circle" and not a roundabout is part of the problem.

Thank you for that. Traffic Circle? Nope.

Depends where you're from. Here in NJ, it's a 'traffic circle'. 'Rotary' or 'roundabout' may be regionally acceptable variations in your area.

\'soda' or 'pop' or 'coke'?
\\'bag' or 'sack'?


I know, just wanted to chime in. Oh, and bubbler. You take your "water fountain" and get the hell outta here!
 
2012-10-10 11:39:36 AM
I moved away from the DMV area 8 months ago, and my happiness levels have shot through the roof. I have to attribute most of it to the traffic, and the rest to the rude assholes that make up the DMV area.


Hell is driving from Burke, VA to BWI on a daily basis.
 
2012-10-10 11:40:09 AM
I've often fantasized about doing just this when driving in DC. Usually for me it involves taking some asshole pedestrians out in the process.
 
2012-10-10 11:41:13 AM

ultraholland: the quality isn't good enough but my money's on those plates being Maryland


Not that I'd disagree in principle, but MD's got plenty of farking circles. Annapolis prepared me for anything.

However, MD drivers REALLY suck.

A southern MD regional favorite- light up ahead on a 55mph highway. We all begin to slow down to stop. SMD style- slam on your brakes until you achieve a nearly complete stop- at least a football field away- and glide to the light at 10mph.

Bonus: them got damn city folk what came to live down here won't be lookin' and may slam into yer backside. Since everbody gots a truck, no damage to yourn, but dem city slickers end up in the horsepital.
 
2012-10-10 11:43:59 AM

Blueintheballs: Cold_Sassy: Blueintheballs: Pussy.

[historc.files.wordpress.com image 560x328]

Where IS that??

It's in Swindon, UK. Known locally as the magic roundabout. Never actually gone through it but it looks like fun!


Wow.
We didn't hut one quite so complicated in Scotland, but we had a few making us go wtf?
Keep to the inner part, and we shall try again!

Jane, stop this crazy thing!
 
2012-10-10 11:44:54 AM

rize7: Anyone calling it a "traffic circle" and not a roundabout is part of the problem.


Yes.
 
2012-10-10 11:46:27 AM

padraig: You do know there's a tunnel, right ?


You do realize it pays to finish reading people's posts, right? (Refer also to This Looks Fun's remark that he is "pretty sure there's a rule or a corollary to a rule somewhere that says you can't start and win an argument whose basis is agreeing with the thing you argue against, but just in case there isn't, congratulations on a hard-fought win.")

The other half of ChipNASA's post:
I swear I felt like frogger when we both turned and looked and saw this....
[www.bugbitten.com image 550x412]
A MUTHERFARKING Pedestrian tunnel that goes beneath the street! WTF!!!!!!
We were so pissed. It seriously was not very well marked at all. JEBUS
 
2012-10-10 11:48:28 AM
"I rorry officer. Very, very rorry."
 
2012-10-10 11:49:44 AM
Dude, get a flucking new smart phone
 
2012-10-10 11:51:51 AM

Isildur: Refer also to This Looks Fun's remark that he is "pretty sure there's a rule or a corollary to a rule somewhere that says you can't start and win an argument whose basis is agreeing with the thing you argue against, but just in case there isn't, congratulations on a hard-fought win.")


I noticed that too and thought it was some new meme that I wasn't aware of. I was waiting for someone to quote my post and tell me I was a dumbass for agreeing that DC traffic circles were farked up.
 
2012-10-10 11:53:06 AM

Louisiana_Sitar_Club: Why the superfluous "FARK:" in the headline?


That was my question asswell.
 
2012-10-10 11:53:50 AM

ChipNASA: CSB time....

My friend and I risked our *lives* running across 6 or 7 lanes of traffic to barely make it to the ADT in Paris.

[dvice.com image 550x383]

Having grown up in DC it was almost akin to running across the Beltway. I swear it was almost suicide. We high fived and pulled our underwear out of the crack of our behinds once we made it over. I swear I felt like frogger when we both turned and looked and saw this....

[www.bugbitten.com image 550x412]

A MUTHERFARKING Pedestrian tunnel that goes beneath the street! WTF!!!!!!

We were so pissed. It seriously was not very well marked at all. JEBUS

/ECSB


Ha! I came here to post something similar. I too grew up in DC, (and currently live there after spending about 10 years away) and went to Paris with my wife last October. We sat staring across that behemoth of a traffic circle waiting for an opportunity to cross, before realizing it would be suicide. We watch for probably 10-15 minutes and not a single opening even came CLOSE to appearing. We walked around it a bit looking to see if there was a crosswalk on the opposite side we couldn't see...nothing...yet, there were dozens of people hanging out inside the circle? What The Fark Is Going On!!!!!

Then, much like you, we were walking around the area later in the week and saw a tunnel going underground, and by that time we knew the tunnel to the metro was elsewhere..."Ohhhhhhhhhh...I get it now" facepalm.

After watching the Paris natives navigate that circle for 10-15 minutes straight...I will never, ever, EVER complain about DC trafic circles again. Holy Crap, it was just a free-for-all, 7 lane wide circle with no real lines and a dozen entry/exit points. WTF.
 
2012-10-10 11:56:57 AM

blatz514: CheekyMonkey: blatz514: rize7: Anyone calling it a "traffic circle" and not a roundabout is part of the problem.

Thank you for that. Traffic Circle? Nope.

Depends where you're from. Here in NJ, it's a 'traffic circle'. 'Rotary' or 'roundabout' may be regionally acceptable variations in your area.

\'soda' or 'pop' or 'coke'?
\\'bag' or 'sack'?

I know, just wanted to chime in. Oh, and bubbler. You take your "water fountain" and get the hell outta here!


Where's 'bubbler' from? It's always been 'water fountain' or 'drinking fountain' to me.
 
2012-10-10 11:57:08 AM
I am traffic circle impaired and avoid them on purpose.... If I get into one by mistake, I take the first available exit even if I don't know where it leads... The exception to this rule is very small traffic circles with not much traffic.
 
2012-10-10 11:59:16 AM
I still remember my first time on the DC beltway. When I saw the cars all following too closely and constantly changing lanes I thought wow, just like a NASCAR race.
 
2012-10-10 12:04:19 PM

drb9: This Looks Fun: Having been the reason for a wreck in a DC traffic circle, I am clearly part of the problem.

In my defense, this is the "circle" in question.

That circle is controlled by lights. You ARE part of the problem if you can't handle it. On the other hand, THIS circle has no lights, and has three lanes entering and exiting the circle at all times.


Huh. Neither Ward Circle or Chevy Chase Circle ever bothered me, and I spent a couple of years living off Nebraska Ave, so both were prominent in my life.

The problem with Dupont is that tourists/newbies never understand the Mass Ave inside/outside lanes
 
2012-10-10 12:04:36 PM

CheekyMonkey: blatz514: CheekyMonkey: blatz514: rize7: Anyone calling it a "traffic circle" and not a roundabout is part of the problem.

Thank you for that. Traffic Circle? Nope.

Depends where you're from. Here in NJ, it's a 'traffic circle'. 'Rotary' or 'roundabout' may be regionally acceptable variations in your area.

\'soda' or 'pop' or 'coke'?
\\'bag' or 'sack'?

I know, just wanted to chime in. Oh, and bubbler. You take your "water fountain" and get the hell outta here!

Where's 'bubbler' from? It's always been 'water fountain' or 'drinking fountain' to me.


Midwest thing...mostly Wisconsin.
 
2012-10-10 12:06:09 PM
Probably a chick. Mystery solved.
 
2012-10-10 12:07:50 PM

Pribar: There's a traffic circle in Gainesville, simple 4 way crossing that they decided to mess up with a circle. people keep coming up to the thing and try to make a left while other traffic is in the roundabout, causing nasty head ons, the accident rate tripled since it was installed and backups are now the norm since people take merge as a personal affront here.


Merge is also that way in MD.
How dare you want to come into this road!?
 
2012-10-10 12:13:16 PM
 
2012-10-10 12:14:55 PM

Erebus1954: I still remember my first time on the DC beltway. When I saw the cars all following too closely and constantly changing lanes I thought wow, just like a NASCAR race.


Pfft, they probably gave you a good 12" buffer zone between cars. You are only moving at 60-70mph anyways, all you need is like 4-6" and you are fine. Plus, with all the construction going on nearby the lanes are extra swervy now and occasionally you get a dumptruck-surprise pulling out from a dead-stop into the left lane, so all the scared drivers will be slowing down...don't follow the pack though, this is your sign to speed up and change lanes as often as possible, whether you actually get farther ahead or not!
 
2012-10-10 12:15:05 PM
80 replies and not one Die Hard reference? I'm disappointed
 
2012-10-10 12:16:50 PM

rize7: Anyone calling it a "traffic circle" and not a roundabout is part of the problem.


THIS! Mother of baby Jesus THIS!
 
2012-10-10 12:21:59 PM

bkosh84: rize7: Anyone calling it a "traffic circle" and not a roundabout is part of the problem.

THIS! Mother of baby Jesus THIS!


Are you guys talking about a Car-go-round?
 
2012-10-10 12:23:53 PM

FishyFred: Dupont Circle is the #1 reason I hate driving in D.C.

.


I used to love it so much I'd spend half a day on it.
 
2012-10-10 12:26:21 PM
Traffic circles started showing up in metro Detroit in past few years. Hate them!

My uncle, a police officer on the west side of the state, calls them "drunk catchers". The "roundabout" in South Lyon took on a drunk this past spring...person tried to drive over the circle and hit the decorative wall in the middle.

I try to avoid the frickin' things at all cost.
 
2012-10-10 12:30:44 PM

Girion47: I moved away from the DMV area 8 months ago, and my happiness levels have shot through the roof. I have to attribute most of it to the traffic, and the rest to the rude assholes that make up the DMV area.


Hell is driving from Burke, VA to BWI on a daily basis.


Damn, mang. Couldn't be Dulles or National?

Still hellish, but...
 
2012-10-10 12:30:44 PM

trappedspirit: bkosh84: rize7: Anyone calling it a "traffic circle" and not a roundabout is part of the problem.

THIS! Mother of baby Jesus THIS!

Are you guys talking about a Car-go-round?


Oh, an auto-donut! Why didn't they say so to begin with, crazy farkers with their wild vernacular
 
2012-10-10 12:49:36 PM

TheMysticS: Girion47: I moved away from the DMV area 8 months ago, and my happiness levels have shot through the roof. I have to attribute most of it to the traffic, and the rest to the rude assholes that make up the DMV area.


Hell is driving from Burke, VA to BWI on a daily basis.

Damn, mang. Couldn't be Dulles or National?

Still hellish, but...


I wasn't driving to fly, the training company we used was located there. So a couple weeks out of the year I was doing a daily commute there. My normal commute was to the Ford House Office Building, I was lucky in that I lived 0.4 miles from the Burke VRE station. No driving involved, but the commute was $200 a month.
 
2012-10-10 01:03:53 PM
What's the big deal? It's a park. He parked.
 
2012-10-10 01:24:04 PM

This Looks Fun: Having been the reason for a wreck in a DC traffic circle, I am clearly part of the problem.

In my defense, this is the "circle" in question.


Whoever designed that circle appears to have missed the entire point of a traffic circle...
 
2012-10-10 01:33:05 PM

This Looks Fun: Having been the reason for a wreck in a DC traffic circle, I am clearly part of the problem.

In my defense, this is the "circle" in question.


WTF? Those lanes going through the center are wholly unnecessary. Get rid of them!
 
2012-10-10 01:36:57 PM

Girion47: Pocket Ninja: Subby, nobody knows how to handle DC traffic circles. Or any traffic circle, for that matter. They exist solely as a source of amusement for traffic engineers, and if you want proof of that just take a drive down Route 15 from Warrenton to Leesburg.

You don't think 29 in Fairfax is worse? Who the fark puts a road THROUGH a traffic circle?


Yeah, I hate this one too... I go the wrong way pretty much every time. Of course, I don't go out that way too often, so I never really remember which way is the way I want to go until I've gone the wrong way.

/Way
 
2012-10-10 01:41:55 PM

pute kisses like a man: bigmoneygrip: South Louisiana is supposed to get some traffic circles soon. Might be an interesting afternoon to sit outside in a lawn chair with some beer and watch the inbred retards we have for drivers here try to successfully negotiate it.

well, new orleans has lee circle... but, it has lights in the traffic circle. so, it's kind of a failed traffic circle. but, at least you can just get out of your car and get drunk at the circle bar.



I do hate Lee Circle (maybe its because I don't drive much, and it was my first experience with a circle when I moved down here 6 years ago).
 
However, there aren't lights in the circle, are there?  Just lights on the straight streets leading to the circle.
 
It is still a mess though.
 
2012-10-10 01:44:12 PM
In Australia they're called Loopty Doo's, probably.
 
2012-10-10 01:46:44 PM

Girion47: TheMysticS: Girion47: I moved away from the DMV area 8 months ago, and my happiness levels have shot through the roof. I have to attribute most of it to the traffic, and the rest to the rude assholes that make up the DMV area.


Hell is driving from Burke, VA to BWI on a daily basis.

Damn, mang. Couldn't be Dulles or National?

Still hellish, but...

I wasn't driving to fly, the training company we used was located there. So a couple weeks out of the year I was doing a daily commute there. My normal commute was to the Ford House Office Building, I was lucky in that I lived 0.4 miles from the Burke VRE station. No driving involved, but the commute was $200 a month.


Ah.
Still, I feel your pain.
 
2012-10-10 02:08:30 PM

downstairs: pute kisses like a man: bigmoneygrip: South Louisiana is supposed to get some traffic circles soon. Might be an interesting afternoon to sit outside in a lawn chair with some beer and watch the inbred retards we have for drivers here try to successfully negotiate it.

well, new orleans has lee circle... but, it has lights in the traffic circle. so, it's kind of a failed traffic circle. but, at least you can just get out of your car and get drunk at the circle bar.


I do hate Lee Circle (maybe its because I don't drive much, and it was my first experience with a circle when I moved down here 6 years ago).
 
However, there aren't lights in the circle, are there?  Just lights on the straight streets leading to the circle.
 
It is still a mess though.


there are the a couple lights in the circle for the street car. being that I ride new orleans rapid transport system on a daily basis, I've come to notice that the lights are there to protect the street car from people who can't take the time out of their day to notice a farking train is on the road.
 
2012-10-10 03:13:55 PM

Cheron: Maybe he is from Boston where this is allowed 8:00 Am to 10:30 AM and 3:00 PM to 5:40 PM except or the third Tuesday.


skipmaclure.files.wordpress.com

Yes, but what you're after is a royal fizzbin, but the odds in getting a royal fizzbin are astron... Spock, what are the odds in getting a royal fizzbin?
 
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