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(Minneapolis Star Tribune)   Minneapolis quickly responds to its failure of not answering 911 calls promptly, by ensuring the calls will be answered after 10 seconds by a machine   (startribune.com) divider line 30
    More: Unlikely, Minneapolis, machines  
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1669 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Oct 2012 at 10:19 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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ZAZ [TotalFark]
2012-10-10 10:01:23 AM
That's one of the reasons why, starting this week, callers to 911 who do not get an operator within 10 seconds will hear a recorded message telling them to stay on the line until an operator is available.

Thank you for calling Minneapolis 9-1-1. Your call is important to us. We're sure your call is important to you too. Please choose from the following options:

If you are bleeding and the blood is jetting into the air, not staying in contact with skin, apply pressure to the wound and scream for help. A bystander will be along to assist.

If you are bleeding and blood is flowing, not jetting, stay on the line. To save time, have your insurance card ready.

If you are being mugged, robbed, raped, or otherwise assaulted by an armed attacker, do not resist. Go limp. Remain silent. Do not startle or provoke the attacker. He or she will get bored and wander off.

If you are being mugged, robbed, raped, or otherwise assaulted by an unarmed attacker, scream for help. A bystander will be along to assist.

...
 
2012-10-10 10:21:56 AM
The customer at this number has not set up the mailbox to accept mailbox messages.
 
2012-10-10 10:24:02 AM
Greetings and salutations! Welcome to the San Angeles Police Department. If you prefer an automated response, press 1
 
2012-10-10 10:24:36 AM
The idea of this wouldn't be entirely bad if it met a few conditions.

1) any calls received by the automated system would attempt to locate the source of the call.

2) any cals received by the automated system would record any audio of what is happening on the callers end

3) A human operator is notified, preferably with loud buzzers and flashing red lights, when a call is being handled by the automated system.
 
2012-10-10 10:25:55 AM
I foresee a spike in the reports of regicides in progress.
 
2012-10-10 10:26:15 AM
Would you be interested to learn about our other offers while you wait? Press 1.
 
2012-10-10 10:26:24 AM
And this is why you should be against gun control. If the authorities can't help you, then WTF are you supposed to do?
 
2012-10-10 10:26:55 AM
"We had the news media calling in the middle of this and other administrative calls," she said.

Somebody needs to explain to me why the news media thinks it's a good idea to call 911 in the middle of a shooting incident and tie up the lines.
 
2012-10-10 10:29:08 AM
Is this the machine to whom I am speaking.
 
2012-10-10 10:32:49 AM
You have selected regicide...

somewhereboy.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-10-10 10:32:50 AM
What is this? Some kind of joke?

www.sohh.com

Now, I dialed 911 a long time ago.
 
2012-10-10 10:39:38 AM

biyaaatci: What is this? Some kind of joke?

ytrewq.com

Now, I dialed 911 a long time ago.



FTFY
 
2012-10-10 10:41:58 AM

Cantankerous Gnome: Greetings and salutations! Welcome to the San Angeles Police Department. If you prefer an automated response, press 1


Thank you for calling the Los Angeles Municipal Court.
This is an automated system that can handle most inquiries.
If after using this system, your question is not answered,
please, stay on the line
and a representative will be with you shortly.

If you are calling from a touch-tone phone, please press 1.
If you are calling from a cellular phone, please press 2.
If you are calling from a pay phone, please press 3.
If you are calling from a car phone, please press 4.
If you are calling from a secret-spy phone, please press 5.
If you are calling from a princess, phone, please press 6
If you are calling from a car fax, please press 7.
and If you are calling from a rotary phone, please, stay on the line

Make your selection at any time.

[touch-tone 1]

Make your selection at any time.

[three touch-tone 1's]

For information in English, please press 1.
For information in Spanish, please press 2.
For information in Japanese, please press 3.
For information in Chinese, please press 4.
For information in Dutch, please press 5.
For information in Latvian, please press 6.
For information in French, please press 7.
For information in Yiddish, please press 8.
For information in Ig-pay Atin-lay, lease-pay ress-pay ine-nay.

[touch-tone 1]

If you are responding to a notice from the City Attorney's office, press 3.
To check the amount due on a parking ticket, press 4.
If you believe you are ticketed in error because your disabled person
placard or your preferential parking permit was clearly displayed, or
your vehicle is disabled, press 5.
For all other traffic related matters, press 6.

[long touch-tone 6]

Please make a selection at any time.

[three touch-tone 6's]

For traffic school information, press 1.
For payment inormation, press 2.
For court locations, press 3.
For general ticket and warrant information, press 4.
For court appearance and bail information, press 5.
For traffic court appointment information, press 6.

[four touch-tone 6's]

If you need to make a traffic court appointment, please press 1,
unless you have not filled out a DD form 3018, in which case,
please press 2. To receive a blank DD form 3018, please come
down to the Los Angeles Municipal Court building during normal
business hours. If you have filled out DD form 3018, but have
not reported to the City Attorney's office, please press 3.

If you are not receiving physical therapy but have a relative that
voted 'no' on Proposition 187 * and have collected a notarized waiver
from said relative, and have attached said waiver in triplicate to
said form, please press 4, unless of course, said relative is not
a naturalized citizen, in which case, please press 5.

If you are receiving physical therapy from a naturalized citizen but
have not voted 'yes' or 'no' on Proposition 187 and have not reported
to the City Attorney, but have filled out form DD 3018, please
press 6.

Of course, if you have not had your eyes tested by your local
Department of Motor Vehicles in the last three years, in which case
press 7. If you have had your eyes tested AND voted 'yes' on
Proposition 187, and have your DD form 3018 filled out and
have already reported to the City Attorney but have never been called
in for jury duty, press 8.

[touch-tone entry]

Make your selection at any time.

[here begins the touch-tone frenzy]

Make your selection at any time.

The system is waiting for a touch tone entry.
The system is waiting for a touch tone entry.

There is a possibility that you have made an error in
selecting your message. Please try again.

The system is waiting for a touch tone entry.

There is a possibility that you have made an error in
selecting your message. Please try again.

I'm sorry, but we are unable to interpret your request.
Please call back during normal business hours.

[CLICK ... sound of dialing]

Thank you for calling the Los Angeles Municipal Court.
This is an automated system that can handle most inquiries.
If after using this system, your question is not answered,
please, stay on the line
and a representative will be with you shortly.

[fades out on]
If you are calling from a touch-tone phone, please press 1.
If you are calling from a cellular phone, please press 2.

FTFY
 
2012-10-10 11:00:31 AM

Cold_Sassy: And this is why you should be against gun control. If the authorities can't help you, then WTF are you supposed to do?


Bah! Every good citizen knows that it is there God given responsibility to wait until a hero arrives.
 
2012-10-10 11:01:57 AM
When seconds count, the police are only minutes away.
 
2012-10-10 11:14:18 AM

Cold_Sassy: And this is why you should be against gun control. If the authorities can't help you, then WTF are you supposed to do?


Of course, the system was overwhelmed because a guy pulled out a gun and started killing people after being fired, so maybe the gun control thing is not too bad of an idea.
 
2012-10-10 11:16:02 AM

MightyPez: The idea of this wouldn't be entirely bad if it met a few conditions.

1) any calls received by the automated system would attempt to locate the source of the call.

2) any cals received by the automated system would record any audio of what is happening on the callers end

3) A human operator is notified, preferably with loud buzzers and flashing red lights, when a call is being handled by the automated system.


# 1 is already handled by the 911 system.

# 2 is a good idea.

# 3 just makes it harder for the operator to hear the call he/she is handling.
 
2012-10-10 11:20:42 AM

BarkingUnicorn: # 3 just makes it harder for the operator to hear the call he/she is handling.


I'm guessing you have never worked in a call center.
 
2012-10-10 11:21:48 AM
i950.photobucket.com

Thank you...for calling to report a....felony.
 
2012-10-10 11:26:11 AM
Came for some sweet, sweet regicide, leaving happy.
 
2012-10-10 11:31:03 AM
Driving down Interstate 5 somewhere in the central valley. Traffic was moving at a crawl, and miles away I could see a column of smoke rising in the air. Cal-Trans had put out several of those electroninc sings. " OIL WELL FIRE AHEAD. DO NOT CALL 911"
 
2012-10-10 11:58:36 AM
Six dispatchers working for a city of over 300,000 seems pretty under-staffed. But yeah, just keep cutting those taxes, tea party heroes. Keep complaining about where your "tax dollars" go, patriots.
 
2012-10-10 12:26:42 PM
Hey, 911 operators cost money. The city has a business to run. You understand. Take care of your own damn emergency, instead of sucking up tax dollars like one of the 47%.
 
2012-10-10 01:07:40 PM

Di Atribe: Six dispatchers working for a city of over 300,000 seems pretty under-staffed. But yeah, just keep cutting those taxes, tea party heroes. Keep complaining about where your "tax dollars" go, patriots.


You've convinced me with your well-researched and persuasive argument.
 
2012-10-10 01:34:24 PM
Uh, no. This is 9-1-2.
 
2012-10-10 02:17:41 PM

StoPPeRmobile: Di Atribe: Six dispatchers working for a city of over 300,000 seems pretty under-staffed. But yeah, just keep cutting those taxes, tea party heroes. Keep complaining about where your "tax dollars" go, patriots.

You've convinced me with your well-researched and persuasive argument.


And you've properly rebutted my argument with a well-researched & persuasive argument of your own. Bravo.

I do work in the emergency services industry & I'm familiar with a major city whose 911 dispatchers are constantly having to put people on HOLD while their citizens DIE because they don't have enough dispatchers to take the calls. Now why is that, I wonder?

LINK

Now either present your own argument or STFU
 
2012-10-10 04:33:35 PM
I worked in a call center-- we fielded a huge number of non-emergency calls:

- July 4- What time is the parade/ fireworks
- When does the library open?
- Obscene phone calls ( yes- they know someone will always pick up)
- personal calls for coworkers ( use their cell phone- I was expecting an emergency)
- stupid legal questions - My kid just ______ can you send the cops? No?! Can I beat him?
- mental health calls- aliens inserted an undetecable chip in my penis....
-paranoid neighbors- I just saw a shadow in my yard, can you send the police
- non-emergency 'crimes' - friend stole my wallet/weed/whatever
- big events- like a roll-over semi in rush hour.... 200 calls in minutes (think Fark : 'first!!!')
-by the time we get the dead baby in a daycare call, we don't believe you


And when you do call with an emergency and ask a ton of questions, it isn't that we don't believe you. We are not there and need to understand what is really going on. While it may look like you live in a police state, there may be no resources immediately available, and a bit of triage needs to occur.

Sometimes I miss that job.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2012-10-10 05:00:51 PM
filter

Some departments want non-emergency crimes called into 911. Saves money on dispatch? Give in the the inevitable? I don't know.
 
2012-10-10 05:55:13 PM

ZAZ: filter

Some departments want non-emergency crimes called into 911. Saves money on dispatch? Give in the the inevitable? I don't know.


That is crazy- when I lived in Mpls, police stopped responding to take accident reports unless there were serious injuries.


912 is not 411.

Cell phones screwed everything up for quite some time. Calling 911 from a cell phone in your house gave very different results than calling from a landline. I relocated before that was all sorted out.
 
2012-10-10 06:58:38 PM
I had the opposite problem once. I called the routine line for the police department in one of the local towns to report a minor fender bender (not mine) and got lost in a maze of automated hell. After a couple of calls that led to nowhere, I eventually gave up and just dialed 9-1-1.
 
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