If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(UPI)   Report finds that in-between bouts of feeling you up and stealing your stuff, TSA screeners are slacking off. USA USA USA   (upi.com) divider line 51
    More: Obvious, TSA, Honolulu International Airport  
•       •       •

4926 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Oct 2012 at 7:03 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



51 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-10-09 06:22:55 PM
A bit redundant with the previous TSA story,
 
2012-10-09 07:04:57 PM

traxan: A bit redundant with the previous TSA story,


When it comes to getting word out about what a colossal bag of sphincters the TSA is, I'm okay with a repeat.
 
2012-10-09 07:06:10 PM
They stole all the sphincters from my colossal bag.
 
2012-10-09 07:08:03 PM
.05% CAUGHT stealing. It doesn't mean there aren't more screeners stealing. We all know there are more.

Still, there have been more TSA screeners having been arrested than terrorists caught or plots thwarted by the TSA.
 
2012-10-09 07:08:54 PM
Dunno about slacking off - I flew out of LAX a month ago. Went through security - no problem. Went through the body scanner - no problem. Was I good to go? Noooo - I had my hair in two braids, and so a TSA agent deemed it necessary to pull me aside and pat them down. I kid you not
 
2012-10-09 07:09:33 PM
The farkers in Syracuse stole my Ninkasi Brewery campaign buttons off of my backpack on my way back to Eugene.

I'd flown 3 times with them on my carry-on with no incident, they didn't even stop me. They stole them.
 
2012-10-09 07:11:19 PM

red5ish: They stole all the sphincters from my colossal bag.


Did anyone else read that as *colostomy* bag?
 
2012-10-09 07:11:19 PM
Came though Charlotte a couple weeks ago, an international flight, and found a TSA notice in the checked bag when I got home. And all my toothpaste squeezed out into the plastic bag that carried my "spare" insulin and needles. Can't tell that the asshole touched anything else.
 
2012-10-09 07:11:38 PM

Nogale: Dunno about slacking off - I flew out of LAX a month ago. Went through security - no problem. Went through the body scanner - no problem. Was I good to go? Noooo - I had my hair in two braids, and so a TSA agent deemed it necessary to pull me aside and pat them down. I kid you not


Coworker of mine got pulled and patted for a lens cleaner wipe in his pocket.
 
2012-10-09 07:12:21 PM
FTA: HONOLULU, Oct. 9 (UPI) -- Transportation Security Administration screeners routinely failed to check bags for explosives at Honolulu International Airport, a government report said.

I believed it from the first word. Hawaiians (not the race, but the people who live in the state) never take their job seriously. I'm amazed anything still works over there.
 
2012-10-09 07:12:36 PM

hogans: red5ish: They stole all the sphincters from my colossal bag.

Did anyone else read that as *colostomy* bag?


...no.
 
2012-10-09 07:15:04 PM
Hey, if Shakwanda can't keep you safe from your bill of rights, who can?
 
2012-10-09 07:15:08 PM
I thought making them government employees was supposed to make them better employees?


sagamorejournal.files.wordpress.com


www.dba-oracle.com


www.thousandsstandingaround.org

www.frugal-cafe.com
 
2012-10-09 07:15:12 PM
Typical Democraps. Did you expect more?
 
2012-10-09 07:17:36 PM
I'm sure the private security officers work SO much harder.

/end sarcasm
//TSA = Thousand Standing Around
 
2012-10-09 07:18:27 PM
Guy, I think we need to cut the TSA some slack. Everyone hates them, they're the butt of all the jokes, and honestly their work sucks. Here's a few tips and advice to make their work experience more interesting and exciting.
 
2012-10-09 07:18:46 PM

hasty ambush: I thought making them government employees was supposed to make them better employees?


They must've unionized. That makes them worse than Hitler. At least that's what Gov. Walker and the WI GOP told me.
 
2012-10-09 07:18:50 PM
A few malcontents fly some planes into some buildings. A few years later, people realize it's not happening again. Surprise?
 
2012-10-09 07:19:43 PM

Dixie_Wrecked: Typical Democraps. Did you expect more?


You mean when the TSA was created in a knee-jerk fashion under Bush?
 
2012-10-09 07:21:02 PM

Arctic Phoenix: I'm sure the private security officers work SO much harder.

/end sarcasm
//TSA = Thousand Standing Around


I spent over ten years as a rentacop. Some of them were very fine officers indeed, much better than cops; but overall I have to say that when you hire private security, you get what you pay for: untrained dregs from the bottom of the barrel, wannabe cops, guys who couldn't make the police academy, military washouts and pretend Marines, and ex-felons. And just because you have them all sign papers making them "Federal" employees doesn't change any of that.
 
2012-10-09 07:26:38 PM

meat0918: Nogale: Dunno about slacking off - I flew out of LAX a month ago. Went through security - no problem. Went through the body scanner - no problem. Was I good to go? Noooo - I had my hair in two braids, and so a TSA agent deemed it necessary to pull me aside and pat them down. I kid you not

Coworker of mine got pulled and patted for a lens cleaner wipe in his pocket.


If it makes you feel any better, I'd forgotten I had a small bottle of REM oil, roughly 2/3 of the label is describing its toxicity of combustibility, in my work bag for some reason or another. That bad boy has gone through ORD and several other airports a total of 10 or 11 times in the last few months. TSA has yet to say anything about it. They did catch the unopened coke I left in a mesh pocket on the outside of the backpack though....after it went through the x-ray, a visual inspection, and another x-ray trip.
 
2012-10-09 07:27:54 PM
images.smh.com.aumedia.tumblr.com3.bp.blogspot.comkswptim.files.wordpress.comstatic3.businessinsider.com  


Or put more succinctly...

media.tumblr.com
 
2012-10-09 07:30:39 PM
A few days ago in the aerodrome the TSA happened to have a shift change while I was awaiting a full body scan. One of the incoming TSA dudes was wearing a backpack. They all went jovially through the regular metal detector. Detector went off when backpack guy went through it. Not a single fark was given. Smiles and "hellos" were exchanged all around. The new crew was officially on-duty.

What was in that backpack?

/and don't even get me started on how local law enforcement peeps casually walk through security screening zones with live-ass Glocks on their hips and whatever other weapons are strapped to their legs

//are they above being paid off to leave some pistols around for Atta's son and crew?
 
2012-10-09 07:31:53 PM
How do you think the American west was won?
 
2012-10-09 07:34:25 PM
Security theater fails at keeping you secure
 
2012-10-09 07:36:54 PM

Don't Troll Me Bro!: hasty ambush: I thought making them government employees was supposed to make them better employees?

They must've unionized. That makes them worse than Hitler. At least that's what Gov. Walker and the WI GOP told me.


Can you point out how it has made them better?

Government employee unions (which should be illegal) do not exist to make things better for the taxpayers but for the union members which are often have competing interests-ie public schools and teacher accountability.

Government employee unions are not fighting "evil" corporations they are fighting us-the tax payers.
 
2012-10-09 07:41:40 PM

LessO2: Dixie_Wrecked: Typical Democraps. Did you expect more?

You mean when the TSA was created in a knee-jerk fashion under Bush?


So what would Gore have done? Apologized to the Al-Quida for having to go through security at Boston-Logan?

No. He would have said it was global warming.

/tsa should be military (not ex-military)
//tsa should have been revamped once things settled down
///tsa was a response to lax security
////where's your buddy 0? You should write him and tell him how to improve things
 
2012-10-09 07:50:33 PM

leonel: How do you think the American west was won?


Just ask the Natives.
 
2012-10-09 07:55:04 PM

CygnusDarius: leonel: How do you think the American west was won?

Just ask the Natives.


OOK.
I'll bite.
It was the French knife.
 
2012-10-09 07:58:48 PM
Ah, the daily TSA tread. Must be time to feed the dog.
 
2012-10-09 08:01:04 PM
Not only are they lazy and corrupt, but they're downright stupid. I was on a camping trip in Hawaii when a friend had their propane stove -without the bottle- confederated because it "once had flammable material in it." I explained that it was nothing more than a tube with an open valve, but they said "it might still contain residue." I then tried to explain that it's only a liquid when compressed, and any "residue" in an open system would be in the parts per a billion. The idiot still didn't comprehend what this meant, so i told them they should be more concerned with people being able to light a fart on fire. They still stood blindly by their decision, and we gave up because we were about to miss our flight. (which was a whole 40 minutes to the next island.) I really wish that positions of power required a basic reasoning / comprehension test of some sort, just to make sure they aren't completely dead from the neck up.
 
2012-10-09 08:06:24 PM

vudukungfu: CygnusDarius: leonel: How do you think the American west was won?

Just ask the Natives.

OOK.
I'll bite.
It was the French knife.


Well it wasn't with dysentery. It was Ghost Rock.

/Obscure?
 
2012-10-09 08:08:40 PM

CygnusDarius: vudukungfu: CygnusDarius: leonel: How do you think the American west was won?

Just ask the Natives.

OOK.
I'll bite.
It was the French knife.

Well it wasn't with dysentery. It was Ghost Rock.

/Obscure?


Maaaaan. I had three syphilis cards, too.
 
2012-10-09 08:08:49 PM

LessO2: .05% CAUGHT stealing.


That just means they aren't looking for them.

Which logical fallacy is this? Something latin, I hope.
 
2012-10-09 08:11:56 PM

LessO2: Dixie_Wrecked: Typical Democraps. Did you expect more?

You mean when the TSA was created in a knee-jerk fashion under Bush?


The TSA ws created for two reasons:

(1) To artificially inflate employment numbers

(2) As a giant practical joke on the middle class. Oh Bush, you jokester
 
2012-10-09 08:19:43 PM
TSA rep: fewer than .05 percent of its screeners have been caught stealing and criminally charged.

What he really said:
1. We aren't looking, cause if we caught them, it would fark up our stats.
2. If we catch someone internally, we don't criminally charge them, cause that would fark up our stats.
 
2012-10-09 08:27:12 PM

LessO2: .05% CAUGHT stealing.


Once, when they were five?.
 
2012-10-09 08:31:43 PM

LessO2: .05% CAUGHT stealing. It doesn't mean there aren't more screeners stealing. We all know there are more.

Still, there have been more TSA screeners having been arrested than terrorists caught or plots thwarted by the TSA.


Yep..."caught" being the operative word.
 
2012-10-09 08:31:57 PM

hasty ambush: Don't Troll Me Bro!: hasty ambush: I thought making them government employees was supposed to make them better employees?

They must've unionized. That makes them worse than Hitler. At least that's what Gov. Walker and the WI GOP told me.

Can you point out how it has made them better?

Government employee unions (which should be illegal) do not exist to make things better for the taxpayers but for the union members which are often have competing interests-ie public schools and teacher accountability.

Government employee unions are not fighting "evil" corporations they are fighting us-the tax payers.


Christ, dude. It was a joke. Chill.

And yes, I could bring the argument you're asking for. The problem is that after having this discussion a hundred times over the last 21 months I've realized it doesn't matter what I say. You've obviously made up your mind and nothing will change it. For fark's sake, my uncle's wife (a retired teacher, as was her sister and her father) walked out on him after about 6 months of him badmouthing public unions, hence her family and most of her lifelong friends. Christ, a public-sector union employee bore his son and he let Gov farkhead's rhetoric overrule his own life's experience with her. So I'm sorry, I'm not having this argument anymore because there's no farking point.
 
2012-10-09 08:36:04 PM

Nogale: Dunno about slacking off - I flew out of LAX a month ago. Went through security - no problem. Went through the body scanner - no problem. Was I good to go? Noooo - I had my hair in two braids, and so a TSA agent deemed it necessary to pull me aside and pat them down. I kid you not


Yep. A relative had big problems with her braid last time she flew. Burbank, I think. Unbelievable.
 
2012-10-09 08:53:14 PM

MartinaMcSorley: Nogale: Dunno about slacking off - I flew out of LAX a month ago. Went through security - no problem. Went through the body scanner - no problem. Was I good to go? Noooo - I had my hair in two braids, and so a TSA agent deemed it necessary to pull me aside and pat them down. I kid you not

Yep. A relative had big problems with her braid last time she flew. Burbank, I think. Unbelievable.


Fearful of shigawire no doubt.
 
2012-10-09 09:10:16 PM
I worked as a TSO at PVD Rhode Island for 8.5 years. My grossly sexually harassing female supervisor gave me a an unflattering annual review in 2010 because I kept "turning my mouth away" when she went to kiss me on our nightly walks out to the parking lot so I ratted her out to the Admins.

The consequences of this came when I was investigated 2 months later for purportedly posting SSI here on Fark describing the new pat-down procedures that involved the sliding hand technique back in Nov. of 2010. They called me in on Feb. 6th 2011 and threatened to arrest me if I didn't resign. I had no chance of having representation it being Super Bowl Sunday and so I found a lawyer after my 'Constructive Discharge' I think what really pissed them off was the recitation of being a 'TSA Ossifer', I swear.

I had to appeal the initial charge because my atty thought it best to go the sexual harassment path rather than whistleblowers and he didn't file in a timely fashion so I'm kinda SOL presently.

Wish I could say there was a happy ending and these assholes got their comeuppance but it doesn't look likely.
 
2012-10-09 09:16:35 PM
But just look at all the terrorists they've caught.
 
2012-10-09 10:09:24 PM

tonguedepressor: Wish I could say there was a happy ending and these assholes got their comeuppance but it doesn't look likely.


Papers, please, citizen.
 
2012-10-09 10:36:09 PM
Wasn't people like Bush and Sensenbrenner who warned everyone that letting all the new TSA people hired after 9/11 become unionized civil "servants" would turn out to be a bad idea?

I think we all know they were right. Just say it out loud--it's very liberating.
 
2012-10-09 11:14:36 PM
Ha ha - we taxpayers are paying to get PUNK'D every day!



Why, we might as well just set fire to a small mountain of cash every damn day instead of fund the TSA. At least we'd get some pretty colors and smoke out of it.

i651.photobucket.com
 
2012-10-10 07:35:46 AM
Having to put your containers with liquids in a sandwich-sized bag is stupid. I've had to throw out some of my stuff because I had too much to fit in that bag. I'm sure tossing my brand new cosmetics saved the world from terrorists.

I'm also sure TSA employees go through those trash cans at the end of their shifts and keep some of the stuff for themselves.
 
2012-10-10 08:12:47 AM

tonguedepressor: I worked as a TSO at PVD Rhode Island for 8.5 years. My grossly sexually harassing female supervisor gave me a an unflattering annual review in 2010 because I kept "turning my mouth away" when she went to kiss me on our nightly walks out to the parking lot so I ratted her out to the Admins.

The consequences of this came when I was investigated 2 months later for purportedly posting SSI here on Fark describing the new pat-down procedures that involved the sliding hand technique back in Nov. of 2010. They called me in on Feb. 6th 2011 and threatened to arrest me if I didn't resign. I had no chance of having representation it being Super Bowl Sunday and so I found a lawyer after my 'Constructive Discharge' I think what really pissed them off was the recitation of being a 'TSA Ossifer', I swear.

I had to appeal the initial charge because my atty thought it best to go the sexual harassment path rather than whistleblowers and he didn't file in a timely fashion so I'm kinda SOL presently.

Wish I could say there was a happy ending and these assholes got their comeuppance but it doesn't look likely.


Sounds like you should have just lived with the snu-snu
 
2012-10-10 08:46:21 AM
15 years ago I made $9 an hour working in a lab with a degree in biology, and these people, many without a high school diploma, are whining about making 11 - 17 dollars an hour with government benefits and a pension in 20 years waiting on them?

Where's that microscopic violin when I need it?
 
2012-10-10 09:51:14 AM

Nogale: Dunno about slacking off - I flew out of LAX a month ago. Went through security - no problem. Went through the body scanner - no problem. Was I good to go? Noooo - I had my hair in two braids, and so a TSA agent deemed it necessary to pull me aside and pat them down. I kid you not


Ah, the braid fetishist. At least she didn't unbraid you. So she's working at LAX now; I encountered her (or one just like her) in Louisville a few years ago. I didn't set off anything, but my patdown extended to pulling my french braid apart and giving me a scalp massage. Which would maybe have been nice, had she not been a short, fat woman with stubby fingers. If you're going to play with my hair, have the decency to possess a Y chromosome and big manly hands.
 
Displayed 50 of 51 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »





Report