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(Some Guy)   A TSA agent convicted of stealing $800k in traveler's goods admits the obvious. "We steal all the time"   (noagendashow.visibli.com) divider line 114
    More: Obvious, TSA  
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2012-10-09 05:59:09 PM
In the first two months of this year, a TSA baggage screener in Orlando was arrested for stealing valuables by hiding them in a laptop-sized hidden pocket in his jacket and selling the goods on Craigslist.

He sounds fat.
 
2012-10-09 06:30:57 PM
"We gotta pay for the cigarettes and fattening food somehow"
img.photobucket.com
 
2012-10-09 07:25:04 PM
How the hell do you go through the checkpoint and not notice your laptop is missing? They make you take it out and put it in a separate tray.

If I put my laptop in the machine and when the tray came through 45 seconds later without my laptop in it, I am pretty sure I would (a) notice and (b) scream like a banshee that some farking TSA crook stole my farking laptop until I got it back.
 
2012-10-09 07:27:10 PM
Feel safer yet?
 
2012-10-09 07:30:00 PM
Thousands of Stupid Assholes
 
2012-10-09 07:30:33 PM
Is it that the story keeps repeating?

Or that the story keeps repeating?
 
2012-10-09 07:31:45 PM
Well, I think the lesson learned here is quite clear: don't bring any electronics or items of value with you when you travel.

Problem solved.
 
2012-10-09 07:33:48 PM

gilgigamesh: How the hell do you go through the checkpoint and not notice your laptop is missing? They make you take it out and put it in a separate tray.

If I put my laptop in the machine and when the tray came through 45 seconds later without my laptop in it, I am pretty sure I would (a) notice and (b) scream like a banshee that some farking TSA crook stole my farking laptop until I got it back.


Ah-freaking-men. If it doesn't come through I would be screaming to high heaven. A good laptop is worth more than airfare, even if you add bag fees.
 
2012-10-09 07:34:00 PM
www.networkworld.com

Also, fark you TSA.
 
2012-10-09 07:34:01 PM
The agency says it has a zero-tolerance policy for theft and terminates the contracts of all thieves within the TSA. In the past ten years, almost 400 TSA officers have been fired for stealing, 11 of which were fired this year.

And how many of them were arrested? Imprisoned? Here's an easy way to stop this tomorrow: make any instance of theft by an on-duty TSA agent a felony punishable by a minimum 10-year prison term. Punishments for misconduct by on-duty police, government officials, etc., should be similar. Society must hold so-called authority figures to a higher bar.
 
2012-10-09 07:34:11 PM
"I got complacent" he said.

I'm impressed he knew the word 'complacent'.
 
2012-10-09 07:34:18 PM
Flying in less than 12 hours, getting a kick, etc.
 
2012-10-09 07:34:24 PM
Glad I have driven everywhere I need to go since 9/11.
 
2012-10-09 07:34:47 PM

gilgigamesh: How the hell do you go through the checkpoint and not notice your laptop is missing? They make you take it out and put it in a separate tray.

If I put my laptop in the machine and when the tray came through 45 seconds later without my laptop in it, I am pretty sure I would (a) notice and (b) scream like a banshee that some farking TSA crook stole my farking laptop until I got it back.


These thefts largely involve checked luggage. Good luck proving the contents of your bag.
 
2012-10-09 07:34:49 PM
they're keeping us safe from our own stuff!@#!
 
2012-10-09 07:35:28 PM
And people wonder why i haven't checked a bag since the late 90s. Even for international trips: i am a carryon packing ninja.


/okay mostly its just that the baggage carousel sucks balls
 
2012-10-09 07:35:36 PM
Next up: TSA agents admit picking out passengers of both genders and various ages for legal molestation.
 
2012-10-09 07:36:18 PM
Are we going to talk about the dying woman who was embarrassed by the TSA next?
 
2012-10-09 07:37:10 PM

roadkillontheweb: Glad I have driven everywhere I need to go since 9/11.


Aaaaand this.
 
2012-10-09 07:37:50 PM

gilgigamesh: If I put my laptop in the machine and when the tray came through 45 seconds later without my laptop in it, I am pretty sure I would (a) notice and (b) scream like a banshee that some farking TSA crook stole my farking laptop until I got it back.


Then they just taser you, drag you off into a side room with no witnesses, charge you with causing a riot or attacking a government official or some other such bullshiat, and then enjoy slapping their gloves on and cramming their whole fist up your ass to check for explosives. After you get out of jail you will find yourself on the No Fly list.
 
2012-10-09 07:38:03 PM

oren0: gilgigamesh: How the hell do you go through the checkpoint and not notice your laptop is missing? They make you take it out and put it in a separate tray.

If I put my laptop in the machine and when the tray came through 45 seconds later without my laptop in it, I am pretty sure I would (a) notice and (b) scream like a banshee that some farking TSA crook stole my farking laptop until I got it back.

These thefts largely involve checked luggage. Good luck proving the contents of your bag.


That makes sense. I guess the lesson is don't check anything of value.
 
2012-10-09 07:39:33 PM
A few days ago in the aerodrome the TSA happened to have a shift change while I was awaiting a full body scan. One of the incoming TSA dudes was wearing a backpack. They all went jovially through the regular metal detector. Detector went off when backpack guy went through it. Not a single fark was given. Smiles and "hellos" were exchanged all around. The new crew was officially on-duty.

What was in that backpack?

/don't even get me started on how local law enforcement peeps casually walk through security screening zones with their live-assed Glocks on their hips )and whatever other weapons are strapped to their legs(

//are they above being paid off to leave some pistols around for Atta's son and crew?
 
2012-10-09 07:40:00 PM

DittoToo: gilgigamesh: If I put my laptop in the machine and when the tray came through 45 seconds later without my laptop in it, I am pretty sure I would (a) notice and (b) scream like a banshee that some farking TSA crook stole my farking laptop until I got it back.

Then they just taser you, drag you off into a side room with no witnesses, charge you with causing a riot or attacking a government official or some other such bullshiat, and then enjoy slapping their gloves on and cramming their whole fist up your ass to check for explosives. After you get out of jail you will find yourself on the No Fly list.


Since the TSA has no actual authority to touch me let alone arrest or detain me, no. I don't think so.

Look, TSA sucks enough balls as it is without having to make shiat up out of whole cloth.
 
2012-10-09 07:40:11 PM

balisane: And people wonder why i haven't checked a bag since the late 90s. Even for international trips: i am a carryon packing ninja.


/okay mostly its just that the baggage carousel sucks balls


Never had a problem with a baggage carousel. I wait, my bag comes around.
 
2012-10-09 07:41:35 PM

gilgigamesh:

That makes sense. I guess the lesson is don't check anything of value.


FTFY
 
2012-10-09 07:42:30 PM
It's doubly aggrieving because the whole thing is a waste of time and money. As taxpayers, we are footing the bill for being involuntarily harassed, delayed and having our shiat stolen. Exactly what OBL wanted.
 
2012-10-09 07:43:43 PM
He was reportedly disappointed when the judge did not say "Well then, you're free to go"
 
2012-10-09 07:44:21 PM

gilgigamesh: DittoToo: gilgigamesh: If I put my laptop in the machine and when the tray came through 45 seconds later without my laptop in it, I am pretty sure I would (a) notice and (b) scream like a banshee that some farking TSA crook stole my farking laptop until I got it back.

Then they just taser you, drag you off into a side room with no witnesses, charge you with causing a riot or attacking a government official or some other such bullshiat, and then enjoy slapping their gloves on and cramming their whole fist up your ass to check for explosives. After you get out of jail you will find yourself on the No Fly list.

Since the TSA has no actual authority to touch me let alone arrest or detain me, no. I don't think so.

Look, TSA sucks enough balls as it is without having to make shiat up out of whole cloth.


Really? You can turn down one of those random searches where they stick their hands inside your pants?
 
2012-10-09 07:44:28 PM

KrispyKritter: "I got complacent" he said.

I'm impressed he knew the word 'complacent'.


"Complacent"? Complacent is you got lazy.

You're a farking thief. Own it.
 
2012-10-09 07:44:43 PM
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-10-09 07:45:04 PM

CapeFearCadaver: Are we going to talk about the dying woman who was embarrassed by the TSA next?



It's been greenlit.
 
2012-10-09 07:45:42 PM
Don't pack anything that looks good, including expensive clothes. If you have those, wear them. Well, at least none of my bras and panties have ever gone missing...then again I have n't done a lot of screening and I don't bring lacy.
 
2012-10-09 07:45:47 PM
You're gonna miss your flight but by gods, call the REAL law enforcement.

Somehow.

Maybe I should go chat with the local po-po and see what they think.
 
2012-10-09 07:46:27 PM

gilgigamesh: DittoToo: gilgigamesh: If I put my laptop in the machine and when the tray came through 45 seconds later without my laptop in it, I am pretty sure I would (a) notice and (b) scream like a banshee that some farking TSA crook stole my farking laptop until I got it back.

Then they just taser you, drag you off into a side room with no witnesses, charge you with causing a riot or attacking a government official or some other such bullshiat, and then enjoy slapping their gloves on and cramming their whole fist up your ass to check for explosives. After you get out of jail you will find yourself on the No Fly list.

Since the TSA has no actual authority to touch me let alone arrest or detain me, no. I don't think so.

Look, TSA sucks enough balls as it is without having to make shiat up out of whole cloth.


What airport do you fly in that doesn't have law enforcement right there at security or on call at the beckoning of the TSA?
 
2012-10-09 07:46:32 PM

roadkillontheweb: Glad I have driven everywhere I need to go since 9/11.



That would be nice for me, but driving from Seattle to Vegas takes too damn long.
 
2012-10-09 07:46:33 PM

The_Sponge: CapeFearCadaver: Are we going to talk about the dying woman who was embarrassed by the TSA next?


It's been greenlit.


Ah, I haven't been behind the curtain today
 
2012-10-09 07:46:47 PM

KrispyKritter: "I got complacent" he said.

I'm impressed he knew the word 'complacent'.


They misheard. He was saying "I got a couple of cent" like he got some money, yo.
 
2012-10-09 07:46:57 PM
I think this is the worst article I could read before flying to Houston tomorrow !!!!
 
2012-10-09 07:50:39 PM

The_Sponge: roadkillontheweb: Glad I have driven everywhere I need to go since 9/11.


That would be nice for me, but driving from Seattle to Vegas takes too damn long.


You should move then.
 
2012-10-09 07:52:54 PM
To make it even easier to get away with, TSA managers also never search their employees' bags.
t1.gstatic.com
 
2012-10-09 07:55:08 PM

balisane: And people wonder why i haven't checked a bag since the late 90s. Even for international trips: i am a carryon packing ninja.


/okay mostly its just that the baggage carousel sucks balls


I never let my bags leave my sight. I also am a carryon ninja.
 
2012-10-09 07:55:37 PM
www.dailyhaha.com

img.izismile.com
 
2012-10-09 07:55:43 PM

gilgigamesh: How the hell do you go through the checkpoint and not notice your laptop is missing?


How many times have you heard TSA page someone to come back for their laptop? Me, many, perhaps every 5th time I've been in an airport. Wouldn't be hard for a crooked screening team to simply put it aside - if the person comes back, hand it to them, if they board without it then take it home. They'd net several pieces of resalable electronics per shift.

Also, if I'm travelling long distance and checking a bag, then I'll put the laptop in the checked luggage. Maybe I should scuff the case up a bit :)
 
2012-10-09 07:59:10 PM

Cyclonic Cooking Action: balisane: And people wonder why i haven't checked a bag since the late 90s. Even for international trips: i am a carryon packing ninja.


/okay mostly its just that the baggage carousel sucks balls

Never had a problem with a baggage carousel. I wait, my bag comes around.


So you've never experienced jerks tossing the bags around looking for their own, missed your bag because some family has all six of their kids lined up and won't let you in, or had to chase down a thief who "accidentally" walked off with your luggage?

Lucky.

By the time the plane touches down, I'm ready to boot it the hell on out of there, anyway. Anything between me and the exit = no bueno.
 
2012-10-09 07:59:25 PM

CapeFearCadaver: The_Sponge: CapeFearCadaver: Are we going to talk about the dying woman who was embarrassed by the TSA next?


It's been greenlit.

Ah, I haven't been behind the curtain today


Ha! There's two of them greenlit; same link, different headlines. (and yet another tsa story as well...)
 
2012-10-09 08:05:18 PM

The_Sponge: roadkillontheweb: Glad I have driven everywhere I need to go since 9/11.


That would be nice for me, but driving from Seattle to Vegas takes too damn long.

Since 9/11 I have driven to Canada and Mexico and to the east coast from Iowa and of course back. I will be going to Vegas soon and I will probably drive there also but the wife wants to try Amtrak. I used to fly a lot, but not any more.
 
2012-10-09 08:05:54 PM

ParaHandy: Also, if I'm travelling long distance and checking a bag, then I'll put the laptop in the checked luggage.


You're just asking for it, then.
 
2012-10-09 08:08:10 PM
Of course they steal. Look at the neighborhoods they hire from.
 
2012-10-09 08:08:10 PM

Creoena: [www.networkworld.com image 480x480]

Also, fark you TSA.


"When you hear somebody doing it [criticizing the federal government], you ought to stand up and double up your fist and stick it in the sky and shout them down."
Bill Clinton, Billings, Montana, 1 June '95

"You can't say you love your country and hate your government." - Bill Clinton, 1995
 
2012-10-09 08:10:22 PM
I like packing weird stuff in my carry on that might trigger a hand search. I put the items (wrapped in a bag) in a separate compartment with all my dirty socks and underwear.

Sometimes I make comments while they are searching for the hidden treasure...It's fun!
 
2012-10-09 08:10:39 PM
If you've flown at any major airport lately, and you've seen the kind of people who are working, well, EVERYTHING, it's no surprise a bunch of stuff gets stolen. It's probably getting stolen at every level possible.
 
2012-10-09 08:14:43 PM

topcon: If you've flown at any major airport lately, and you've seen the kind of people who are working, well, EVERYTHING, it's no surprise a bunch of stuff gets stolen. It's probably getting stolen at every level possible.


For some reason I just imagined Warden Norton from Shawshank as the head of the TSA
 
2012-10-09 08:17:08 PM
To be fair, the TSA just doesn't have the equipment to search employees and check for theft.

I did like that they managed to reference their "zero-tolerance" policy towards theft, without making any mention that its "only if you do something dumb enough to get caught, cause hey man, we aint lookin."
 
2012-10-09 08:17:21 PM

Tim Tebow: //are they above being paid off to leave some pistols around for Atta's son and crew?


And there be the crux of the issue
 
2012-10-09 08:17:27 PM

ParaHandy: It's doubly aggrieving because the whole thing is a waste of time and money. As taxpayers, we are footing the bill for being involuntarily harassed, delayed and having our shiat stolen. Exactly what OBL wanted.


Yep, been screaming this from the rooftops for years. OBL didn't care so much about killing 3000 people in those planes and towers. He cared about getting 300,000,000 people to destroy themselves. He won, we lost.
 
2012-10-09 08:18:14 PM

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: Thousands of Stupid Assholes


I always called them the Thousands Standing Around, protecting America from Toothpaste, Soda, and Aftershave.

Seriously, you hire people using ads on pizza boxes, pay them fast-food level wages, and give them quasi-police power and don't expect a huge corruption problem?
 
2012-10-09 08:19:21 PM
clearly, nothing to do here. corruption is everywhere and everyone has their hand out. this is a part of human nature that can't be changed.
 
2012-10-09 08:20:40 PM

Raspil: clearly, nothing to do here. corruption is everywhere and everyone has their hand out. this is a part of human nature that can't be changed.


Yeah...or they could stop hiring surly retards to work at airports. I guess the pay must be horrible, given what kind of people they hire.
 
2012-10-09 08:25:16 PM

CapeFearCadaver: roadkillontheweb: Glad I have driven everywhere I need to go since 9/11.

Aaaaand this.


We drove across the country last year. Cheaper than flying the family, no TSA bullshiat.

/why yes, I do have more vacation time than you do
 
2012-10-09 08:29:09 PM

topcon:
Yeah...or they could stop hiring surly retards to work at airports. I guess the pay must be horrible, given what kind of people they hire.


You wind up at the TSA because you are too dumb to scam welfare. This is the level of animal you are dealing with.
 
2012-10-09 08:35:13 PM

topcon: Raspil: clearly, nothing to do here. corruption is everywhere and everyone has their hand out. this is a part of human nature that can't be changed.

Yeah...or they could stop hiring surly retards to work at airports. I guess the pay must be horrible, given what kind of people they hire.


Who else are they gonna get? Even if they pay something competitive with reasonable security jobs, nobody wants the choice between telling people they work for the TSA or lying about their job.
 
2012-10-09 08:35:32 PM
Every time I read about the TSA I think about my senior school trip. It was over 30 years ago and we went to Spain. The last part of the trip we stopped at a place that made swords,knives,daggers, etc. Picture 100 teenagers at the gift shop. I bought 2 shorts swords because they fit in my suitcase (with a lock). A lot of people bought broadswords and rapiers and a few switchblades. The broadswords and rapiers were carry on, the flight attendants put name tags on them and kept them upfront and they were claim on exiting the plane. The Customs people were very nice about everything and the only things confiscated were the switchblades. Nobody was arrested or anything.
I just can't see that happening today.
 
2012-10-09 08:35:37 PM

hasty ambush: Creoena: [www.networkworld.com image 480x480]

Also, fark you TSA.

"When you hear somebody doing it [criticizing the federal government], you ought to stand up and double up your fist and stick it in the sky and shout them down."
Bill Clinton, Billings, Montana, 1 June '95

"You can't say you love your country and hate your government." - Bill Clinton, 1995


Looks like you made these up.
 
2012-10-09 08:36:57 PM

gremlin1: y


Sadly that world seems to be dead.
 
2012-10-09 08:38:25 PM

balisane: Cyclonic Cooking Action: balisane: And people wonder why i haven't checked a bag since the late 90s. Even for international trips: i am a carryon packing ninja.


/okay mostly its just that the baggage carousel sucks balls

Never had a problem with a baggage carousel. I wait, my bag comes around.

So you've never experienced jerks tossing the bags around looking for their own, missed your bag because some family has all six of their kids lined up and won't let you in, or had to chase down a thief who "accidentally" walked off with your luggage?

Lucky.

By the time the plane touches down, I'm ready to boot it the hell on out of there, anyway. Anything between me and the exit = no bueno.


I have had my bag tossed around, I thought that's what they are made for though. Never had to compete against a family for a bag, I wait further down the carousel line. And no, never had someone walk off with my luggage. I guess I get sick of everyone packing everything they own into something they carry on and then wonder why nothing fits in the overhead. YMMV.
 
2012-10-09 08:43:21 PM
I had an expensive bottle of cologne stolen from a checked bag and know several friends who have had electronics stolen, I have also lost luggage on more than one occasion that took me days to get back. What I have learned from this is simple - get a decent carry on bag, the largest size admissible. Put all your valuables in the carry on bag, the only thing in your checked luggage should be clothes and toiletries. No one's going to steal that stuff and even if they do it's no big loss anyway.

In addition to all your valuables you should also pack at least one change of clothes in your carry on bag, that way if your checked baggage is lost you won't be completely screwed. You have some other clothes to wear until you can buy replacements or get your luggage back. This approach has worked for me for years.
 
2012-10-09 08:47:39 PM
I was at a meeting once, where the speaker wore a golf shirt, levis, and tennis shoes. His luggage, including his suit and wingtips was lost. After that, I figured the best way to carry a suit to a business meeting was to wear it.
 
2012-10-09 08:47:55 PM

octopied: Don't pack anything that looks good, including expensive clothes. If you have those, wear them. Well, at least none of my bras and panties have ever gone missing...then again I have n't done a lot of screening and I don't bring lacy.


It's simply not fair that you can't have your lacy's when you travel.
Tell you what,before you travel,mail them to me and I'll forward them (intact) to your destination.
I'll even inspect them for damage occured in transit.
 
2012-10-09 08:51:30 PM
CSB mode ON

While enrolled at USNA, I was flying from Norfolk to Baltimore after leave. TSA guy gives my issue duffel a test for explosive residue (using a swab on a baton, said swab then put into a reader of some sort). Test comes back positive.

TSA guy looks at me askance. I return a look that I hoped portrayed "I have no idea why that reading came back positive, as I am not carrying any explosive devices of any sort." This is the dialogue that followed (been burnt into my skull since then).

TSA: "Son, have you been around any sort of explosive devices?"
Me: "No, sir. I've been home on leave for a full week."
TSA: "Well, I'm sure in that time you've been to a firing range at least once (sly smile). You probably just got some residue on your bag afterwords."
Me: (Mentally debating my company officer's stance on tardiness, realizing I really needed to catch that flight rather than wait for the next, and knowing full well I was lying) "You know, you're right. Went to the range just yesterday with my dad."
TSA: (Now smiling fully). "Well, glad we got to the bottom of that. Have a safe flight. And thank you for your service."

Didn't ask for my military ID. Didn't ask to inspect the duffel. For all he knew, I was a bad, bad man with a duffel full of C-4, who happened to be wearing a uniform seen in Top Gun.

It was that moment exactly that I lost total faith in government institutions.

/Sadly haven't gotten it back.
 
2012-10-09 08:54:54 PM

KrispyKritter: "I got complacent" he said.

I'm impressed he knew the word 'complacent'.




He's more smarterer now that he got his (free) associates degree in prison.
 
2012-10-09 08:56:23 PM
The act of showing up to work for the TSA is stealing.
 
2012-10-09 08:58:04 PM

Fano: topcon: If you've flown at any major airport lately, and you've seen the kind of people who are working, well, EVERYTHING, it's no surprise a bunch of stuff gets stolen. It's probably getting stolen at every level possible.

For some reason I just imagined Warden Norton from Shawshank as the head of the TSA


If only they had access to some sort of device that could conduct a scan of TSA agents as they entered and left secured areas. Now, obviously airports don't have such things and the TSA themselves couldn't operate them... so we're going to need a few billion in new scanners and the creation of the TSASA.
 
2012-10-09 08:59:18 PM
powet.tv

Just watch out for when the TSA unionizes.
 
2012-10-09 09:01:47 PM

andyfromfl: hasty ambush: Creoena: [www.networkworld.com image 480x480]

Also, fark you TSA.

"When you hear somebody doing it [criticizing the federal government], you ought to stand up and double up your fist and stick it in the sky and shout them down."
Bill Clinton, Billings, Montana, 1 June '95

"You can't say you love your country and hate your government." - Bill Clinton, 1995

Looks like you made these up.


citation

and more:


"We still will have the freedom of speech, freedom of association and freedom of movement, but we may have to have more discipline in doing it..." -President Clinton referring to the Ominibus Counterterrorism Act [of 1995] on 60 Minutes


"When we got organized as a country and we wrote a fairly radical Constitution with a radical Bill of Rights, giving a radical amount of individual freedom to Americans." "And so a lot of people say there's too much personal freedom. When personal freedom's being abused, you have to move to limit it."
-- President Bill Clinton, 3-22-94, MTV
 
2012-10-09 09:08:21 PM

hasty ambush: andyfromfl: hasty ambush: Creoena: [www.networkworld.com image 480x480]

Also, fark you TSA.

"When you hear somebody doing it [criticizing the federal government], you ought to stand up and double up your fist and stick it in the sky and shout them down."
Bill Clinton, Billings, Montana, 1 June '95

"You can't say you love your country and hate your government." - Bill Clinton, 1995

Looks like you made these up.

citation

and more:


"We still will have the freedom of speech, freedom of association and freedom of movement, but we may have to have more discipline in doing it..." -President Clinton referring to the Ominibus Counterterrorism Act [of 1995] on 60 Minutes


"When we got organized as a country and we wrote a fairly radical Constitution with a radical Bill of Rights, giving a radical amount of individual freedom to Americans." "And so a lot of people say there's too much personal freedom. When personal freedom's being abused, you have to move to limit it."
-- President Bill Clinton, 3-22-94, MTV


Forgot some:

"I think that some restriction on speech is appropriate." -Sen. Dianne Feinstein, on C-span2, Monday, June 5th, 1995

"The paranoid fear of government is an extremist position, and every one of us ought to say that" -- Rep. Patricia Schroeder, D-Colo.

We must stop thinking of the individual and start thinking about what is best for society." -- Hillary Clinton, 1993)
 
2012-10-09 09:09:40 PM
I worked as a TSO at PVD Rhode Island for 8.5 years. My grossly sexually harassing female supervisor gave me a an unflattering annual review in 2010 because I kept "turning my mouth away" when she went to kiss me on our nightly walks out to the parking lot so I ratted her out to the Admins.

The consequences of this came when I was investigated 2 months later for purportedly posting SSI here on Fark describing the new pat-down procedures that involved the sliding hand technique back in Nov. of 2010. They called me in on Feb. 6th 2011 and threatened to arrest me if I didn't resign. I had no chance of having representation it being Super Bowl Sunday and so I found a lawyer after my 'Constructive Discharge' I think what really pissed them off was the recitation of being a 'TSA Ossifer', I swear.

I had to appeal the initial charge because my atty thought it best to go the sexual harassment path rather than whistleblowers and he didn't file in a timely fashion so I'm kinda SOL presently.

Wish I could say there was a happy ending and these assholes got their comeuppance but it doesn't look likely.
 
2012-10-09 09:13:22 PM

Cyclonic Cooking Action: balisane: Cyclonic Cooking Action: balisane: And people wonder why i haven't checked a bag since the late 90s. Even for international trips: i am a carryon packing ninja.


/okay mostly its just that the baggage carousel sucks balls

Never had a problem with a baggage carousel. I wait, my bag comes around.

So you've never experienced jerks tossing the bags around looking for their own, missed your bag because some family has all six of their kids lined up and won't let you in, or had to chase down a thief who "accidentally" walked off with your luggage?

Lucky.

By the time the plane touches down, I'm ready to boot it the hell on out of there, anyway. Anything between me and the exit = no bueno.

I have had my bag tossed around, I thought that's what they are made for though. Never had to compete against a family for a bag, I wait further down the carousel line. And no, never had someone walk off with my luggage. I guess I get sick of everyone packing everything they own into something they carry on and then wonder why nothing fits in the overhead. YMMV.


I guess that's where the ninja part comes in. I don't own any of those silly roller bags; just a large messenger bag. (It's the Bag of Holding from ThinkGeek, actually.) That and a small purse for my kindle/papers, and we're good to go anywhere for a week. It usually fits under the seat, too.
 
2012-10-09 09:18:12 PM

oren0: And how many of them were arrested? Imprisoned? Here's an easy way to stop this tomorrow: make any instance of theft by an on-duty TSA agent a felony punishable by a minimum 10-year prison term. Punishments for misconduct by on-duty police, government officials, etc., should be similar. Society must hold so-called authority figures to a higher bar.


Hell, just give them the same punishment a civilian would get.

Randall Scott King used his badge to kidnap an rape a woman in Atlanta, served nine days out of a five year sentence, and wasn't required to register as a sex offender.

What do you think one of us little people would serve?
 
2012-10-09 09:31:30 PM

balisane: And people wonder why i haven't checked a bag since the late 90s. Even for international trips: i am a carryon packing ninja.


To all those people whose "carryon" has wheels, weighs 95 pounds and is the size of the Goodyear blimp, you can suck my male member.
 
2012-10-09 09:33:09 PM

planes: I was at a meeting once, where the speaker wore a golf shirt, levis, and tennis shoes. His luggage, including his suit and wingtips was lost.


Likely excuse.
 
2012-10-09 09:35:46 PM
.
 
2012-10-09 09:36:29 PM

topcon: It's probably getting stolen at every level possible.


I have no doubt that the supervisors and airport security get a cut.
 
2012-10-09 09:50:41 PM
Those bastards (Miami airport) stole my sister-in-law's jewelry and a brand new makeup case with about $200 worth of cosmetics in it. Her family was on their way back from a trip to Jamaica... a whole two weeks in a piss-poor country and not a thing was stolen, but coming back through Miami...

I think I saw a report on some news magazine (20/20? Nightline?) with a reporter who purposely put iPads with tracking software on them through Miami airport, and had it stolen the first try. They tracked where it went, and ended up at some scumbag TSA employees house. When they asked him about it ON CAMERA (he and his wife were home) he lied and said he didn't have it... until they activated the alarm on the tracking software on the iPad from their iPhone. You could hear it on the tape.
This asswipe disappeared into his house and came out with the stolen property... then tried to blame his wife (who doesn't work for the TSA), of stealing it. Right to the reporter's face. On camera.

Seriously.

Three solutions... better background checks, better pay, or just get rid of the whole farking agency (my choice). All this crap was nothing but a dog and pony from the Bush administration to make flyover country (where the attacks weren't) feel safer at billions in taxpayer expense. Time to stop the show. If the government chooses to waste our money like this, at least get better than ex-cons and morons on the job.
 
2012-10-09 09:53:57 PM
On a luxury watch forum, one fellow mentioned how back in the early days of the TSA, everyone was made to remove even watches, so he padlocked his gold watch to his shoe before putting in the tray. As I recall the logic was that if it went missing, his claim wouldn't be so easily dismissed as who shows up for a flight wearing only one shoe. 

Farkers can now howl and moan about people who have a lot more disposable income are idiots for buying expensive watches.
 
2012-10-09 10:00:59 PM

balisane: Cyclonic Cooking Action: balisane: Cyclonic Cooking Action: balisane: And people wonder why i haven't checked a bag since the late 90s. Even for international trips: i am a carryon packing ninja.


/okay mostly its just that the baggage carousel sucks balls

Never had a problem with a baggage carousel. I wait, my bag comes around.

So you've never experienced jerks tossing the bags around looking for their own, missed your bag because some family has all six of their kids lined up and won't let you in, or had to chase down a thief who "accidentally" walked off with your luggage?

Lucky.

By the time the plane touches down, I'm ready to boot it the hell on out of there, anyway. Anything between me and the exit = no bueno.

I have had my bag tossed around, I thought that's what they are made for though. Never had to compete against a family for a bag, I wait further down the carousel line. And no, never had someone walk off with my luggage. I guess I get sick of everyone packing everything they own into something they carry on and then wonder why nothing fits in the overhead. YMMV.

I guess that's where the ninja part comes in. I don't own any of those silly roller bags; just a large messenger bag. (It's the Bag of Holding from ThinkGeek, actually.) That and a small purse for my kindle/papers, and we're good to go anywhere for a week. It usually fits under the seat, too.


I'm cool with that.
 
2012-10-09 10:02:32 PM
Wow, lots of butthurt in this thread. I mean, if a former homeland security secretary can make serious coin from the scanning machines from unsuspecting marks taxpayers then why shouldn't the mouth breathers who fondle your children?

Anyone who doesn't bend over and take the TSA up the ass is a turrurst suspect and should probably be in line for a water boarding.

/if your are butthurt now, wait till TSA is everywhere
//your children want chastity belts
 
2012-10-09 10:18:48 PM

ElBarto79: I had an expensive bottle of cologne stolen from a checked bag and know several friends who have had electronics stolen, I have also lost luggage on more than one occasion that took me days to get back. What I have learned from this is simple - get a decent carry on bag, the largest size admissible. Put all your valuables in the carry on bag, the only thing in your checked luggage should be clothes and toiletries. No one's going to steal that stuff and even if they do it's no big loss anyway.

In addition to all your valuables you should also pack at least one change of clothes in your carry on bag, that way if your checked baggage is lost you won't be completely screwed. You have some other clothes to wear until you can buy replacements or get your luggage back. This approach has worked for me for years.


Yes, I always pack a change of clothes in my carry on. I've had my luggage lost twice and had stuff stolen. You can overnight/FEDEX any valuables.
 
2012-10-09 10:30:37 PM
How much do these turd bags get paid? $18 - $20 per hour? Offer a new deal. $30 per hour, but if they get caught stealing even once, the have to jump into a woodshipper feet first within 7 days of conviction. If they don't take the new contract, fire them. It isn't hard to not steal. Even have some sort of training for the retards. If you have more items with you when you leave work, than when you started that day, you may be stealing.
 
2012-10-09 10:33:21 PM

hasty ambush: Creoena: [www.networkworld.com image 480x480]

Also, fark you TSA.

"When you hear somebody doing it [criticizing the federal government], you ought to stand up and double up your fist and stick it in the sky and shout them down."
Bill Clinton, Billings, Montana, 1 June '95

"You can't say you love your country and hate your government." - Bill Clinton, 1995


What the hell does a quote from Clinton 1995 have to do with the TSA, which was created in 2001?
 
2012-10-09 10:41:58 PM
I wish we could all agree that intentional malfeasance by a public official or employee while acting in official capacity should be punished by 25 years in prison and a swift kick in the nuts. this shiat erodes public faith and makes the ideal of good governance seem like a fools errand to many rational people.
 
2012-10-09 10:46:45 PM
enry: Flying in less than 12 hours, getting a kick, etc.

Me in less than a week. I almost wonder if I should not bring anything electronic except my phone and supercheap MP3 player.
 
2012-10-09 10:48:32 PM

m053486: CSB mode ON

While enrolled at USNA, I was flying from Norfolk to Baltimore after leave. TSA guy gives my issue duffel a test for explosive residue (using a swab on a baton, said swab then put into a reader of some sort). Test comes back positive.

TSA guy looks at me askance. I return a look that I hoped portrayed "I have no idea why that reading came back positive, as I am not carrying any explosive devices of any sort." This is the dialogue that followed (been burnt into my skull since then).

TSA: "Son, have you been around any sort of explosive devices?"
Me: "No, sir. I've been home on leave for a full week."
TSA: "Well, I'm sure in that time you've been to a firing range at least once (sly smile). You probably just got some residue on your bag afterwords."
Me: (Mentally debating my company officer's stance on tardiness, realizing I really needed to catch that flight rather than wait for the next, and knowing full well I was lying) "You know, you're right. Went to the range just yesterday with my dad."
TSA: (Now smiling fully). "Well, glad we got to the bottom of that. Have a safe flight. And thank you for your service."

Didn't ask for my military ID. Didn't ask to inspect the duffel. For all he knew, I was a bad, bad man with a duffel full of C-4, who happened to be wearing a uniform seen in Top Gun.

It was that moment exactly that I lost total faith in government institutions.

/Sadly haven't gotten it back.


I think my favorite TSA story is the time I was coming back from a canoe trip in the boundary waters where I had whacked my knee fairly hard at one point. I was wearing shorts, and an ace style bandage- you know, one you can wrap anywhere you need it. the TSA agent got suspicious, got out the swab, and analyzed the bandage to make sure I wasn't using it to strap explosives to my knee. Throughout all this, I couldn't help but think that if I was gonna strap a bomb to my knee, I would have worn baggy khakis, like every other one of the ten thousand or so business travelers flying out of MSP that day.

Yeah- the guy wearing shorts is the one strapping explosives to his leg. Yeah, that's the ticket.
 
2012-10-09 10:59:30 PM

enry: Flying in less than 12 hours, getting a kick, etc.


Safe travels!

I'm back in the air on Monday.
 
2012-10-09 11:00:01 PM

Neondistraction: hasty ambush: Creoena: [www.networkworld.com image 480x480]

Also, fark you TSA.

"When you hear somebody doing it [criticizing the federal government], you ought to stand up and double up your fist and stick it in the sky and shout them down."
Bill Clinton, Billings, Montana, 1 June '95

"You can't say you love your country and hate your government." - Bill Clinton, 1995

What the hell does a quote from Clinton 1995 have to do with the TSA, which was created in 2001?


When you criticize the TSA you are criticizing government and according to Bill Clinton you should be shouted down and you do not love your country.
 
2012-10-09 11:08:07 PM

hasty ambush: Neondistraction: hasty ambush: Creoena: [www.networkworld.com image 480x480]

Also, fark you TSA.

"When you hear somebody doing it [criticizing the federal government], you ought to stand up and double up your fist and stick it in the sky and shout them down."
Bill Clinton, Billings, Montana, 1 June '95

"You can't say you love your country and hate your government." - Bill Clinton, 1995

What the hell does a quote from Clinton 1995 have to do with the TSA, which was created in 2001?

When you criticize the TSA you are criticizing government and according to Bill Clinton you should be shouted down and you do not love your country.


That's interesting. Could you dig up any of Jerry Seinfeld's comments on government in the mid 90s? Eddie Vedder? Val Kilmer? These would be equally relevant.
 
2012-10-09 11:11:09 PM

cptjeff: I think my favorite TSA story is the time I was coming back from a canoe trip in the boundary waters where I had whacked my knee fairly hard at one point. I was wearing shorts, and an ace style bandage- you know, one you can wrap anywhere you need it. the TSA agent got suspicious, got out the swab, and analyzed the bandage to make sure I wasn't using it to strap explosives to my knee. Throughout all this, I couldn't help but think that if I was gonna strap a bomb to my knee, I would have worn baggy khakis, like every other one of the ten thousand or so business travelers flying out of MSP that day.

Yeah- the guy wearing shorts is the one strapping explosives to his leg. Yeah, that's the ticket.


Yeah, but think how silly you would have looked if he'd been right!
 
2012-10-09 11:16:46 PM

relcec: I wish we could all agree that intentional malfeasance by a public official or employee while acting in official capacity should be punished by 25 years in prison and a swift kick in the nuts. this shiat erodes public faith and makes the ideal of good governance seem like a fools errand to many rational people.


I'm not a big fan of China's policies 90% of the time, but they do shoot you if you do shiat like this. So I gotta give 'em credit for getting that right.
 
2012-10-09 11:23:42 PM

Tim Tebow: A few days ago in the aerodrome the TSA happened to have a shift change while I was awaiting a full body scan. One of the incoming TSA dudes was wearing a backpack. They all went jovially through the regular metal detector. Detector went off when backpack guy went through it. Not a single fark was given. Smiles and "hellos" were exchanged all around. The new crew was officially on-duty.

What was in that backpack?

/don't even get me started on how local law enforcement peeps casually walk through security screening zones with their live-assed Glocks on their hips )and whatever other weapons are strapped to their legs(

//are they above being paid off to leave some pistols around for Atta's son and crew?



Google the name "Alvin Crabtree" and Denver and see what they do to screeners who pack heat to work.
 
2012-10-09 11:30:45 PM

hasty ambush: Neondistraction: hasty ambush: Creoena: [www.networkworld.com image 480x480]

Also, fark you TSA.

"When you hear somebody doing it [criticizing the federal government], you ought to stand up and double up your fist and stick it in the sky and shout them down."
Bill Clinton, Billings, Montana, 1 June '95

"You can't say you love your country and hate your government." - Bill Clinton, 1995

What the hell does a quote from Clinton 1995 have to do with the TSA, which was created in 2001?

When you criticize the TSA you are criticizing government and according to Bill Clinton you should be shouted down and you do not love your country.


Again, why the hell does Bill Clinton have any bearing on the discussion at hand? At least use some quotes from this freaking century.
 
2012-10-09 11:47:14 PM

LessO2: Google the name "Alvin Crabtree" and Denver and see what they do to screeners who pack heat to work.


I know I must be wrong, but I'm sure I saw TSOs openly wearing sidearms several years ago.
 
2012-10-10 12:09:44 AM
in all fairness to the TSA, I believe that the "we" in "we steal all the time" was a reference to his racial cohorts, not his co-workers.

Hint: there hasn't been a white guy named "Pythias" since the Parthenon had a roof.
 
2012-10-10 12:16:49 AM

ParaHandy: It's doubly aggrieving because the whole thing is a waste of time and money. As taxpayers, we are footing the bill for being involuntarily harassed, delayed and having our shiat stolen. Exactly what OBL wanted.


You misspelled "NWO"
 
2012-10-10 01:02:39 AM
What a bunch of Freedom hating non-patriots in this thread.

I feel safer.
 
2012-10-10 01:35:45 AM
So, like, who checks their personal electronics anyway? My phone and my tablet (used to be a laptop) are carried onboard with me. If I traveled with an expensive camera, it would be in the carry-on bag as well.

/ baggage theft isn't a new thing - it's just way more precise now.
// why would I want my delicate electronics thrown around anyway?
/// and the TSA is always welcome to paw through my dirty skivvies whenever they want.
 
2012-10-10 01:58:39 AM

gilgigamesh: oren0: gilgigamesh: How the hell do you go through the checkpoint and not notice your laptop is missing? They make you take it out and put it in a separate tray.

If I put my laptop in the machine and when the tray came through 45 seconds later without my laptop in it, I am pretty sure I would (a) notice and (b) scream like a banshee that some farking TSA crook stole my farking laptop until I got it back.

These thefts largely involve checked luggage. Good luck proving the contents of your bag.

That makes sense. I guess the lesson is don't check anything of value.


Seriously. I've flown 6 times since 9/11 and have known this before that.

Yeah it sucked then, sucks now, but you live and learn and fit your laptop *and* camera *and* presentation posters into your effing carry ons.
 
2012-10-10 02:17:36 AM
Those non-portable cameras are a biatch to steal, man.
 
2012-10-10 03:05:05 AM

CapeFearCadaver: roadkillontheweb: Glad I have driven everywhere I need to go since 9/11.

Aaaaand this.


Driving is more dangerous. TSA needs a kick in its collective balls, but it's still a safer and faster alternative.
 
2012-10-10 03:08:57 AM
FTFA: Many officers don't care about their work and complain about low pay and being treated badly.

If they wouldn't steal crap and feel up dying people, maybe then they wouldn't GET treated badly.
 
2012-10-10 03:14:59 AM
Joe The Plumber 2012-10-10 12:09:44 AM

in all fairness to the TSA, I believe that the "we" in "we steal all the time" was a reference to his racial cohorts, not his co-workers.

ironmikescorner.files.wordpress.com

Hey look everyone, Joe The Plumber is a dirty liberal.
Cuz only liberals bring out the race card, amirite?
 
2012-10-10 03:25:40 AM
img.photobucket.com

A number of years ago, probably around 2004 or 2005, I was flying to New York and I had forgotten to take my ToolLogic out of my laptop case (mine was red, not purple). The TSA scanner saw the knife and called over her supervisor. He took it out of my bag, said, "I didn't know they came in red" and put it into his pocket as he walked away. He did not question me about it at all. In fact, I do not think that his comment was even directed at me. He just took it and went on his merry way. I was pissed off that I had "lost" it, but I was grateful that they scanner just let the issue drop and let me go on through.
 
2012-10-10 03:56:13 AM

oren0: The agency says it has a zero-tolerance policy for theft and terminates the contracts of all thieves within the TSA. In the past ten years, almost 400 TSA officers have been fired for stealing, 11 of which were fired this year.

And how many of them were arrested? Imprisoned? Here's an easy way to stop this tomorrow: make any instance of theft by an on-duty TSA agent a felony punishable by a minimum 10-year prison term. Punishments for misconduct by on-duty police, government officials, etc., should be similar. Society must hold so-called authority figures to a higher bar.


Agreed. "Well I stole nearly a million dollars over a few years and was thus fired. Whoohoo, time to retire!"
I say we up the ante. Intentional misconduct by a TSA agent, as they are an 'active agent engaged in homeland security', is treason.
 
2012-10-10 06:29:52 AM

Mock26: [img.photobucket.com image 220x220]

A number of years ago, probably around 2004 or 2005, I was flying to New York and I had forgotten to take my ToolLogic out of my laptop case (mine was red, not purple). The TSA scanner saw the knife and called over her supervisor. He took it out of my bag, said, "I didn't know they came in red" and put it into his pocket as he walked away. He did not question me about it at all. In fact, I do not think that his comment was even directed at me. He just took it and went on his merry way. I was pissed off that I had "lost" it, but I was grateful that they scanner just let the issue drop and let me go on through.


Your story, along with all the hundreds of other Farkers' stories of the TSA I've read here over the years, are the main reason why I choose to ship all my valuable stuff separately any single friggin time I have to fly.
 
2012-10-10 06:49:14 AM
Some enterprising law firm is going to realize that running national TV ads about their TSA-related practice plus associates hanging around in airports with cell phones ready to run to security = $billions in profits from a yet-untapped market.

If I have to fly again (haven't flown since 2007 and no plans to do so anytime soon if i can help it), I absolutely would pay some on-site landshark a non-refundable $100 deposit to have him ready to give the TSA goons a legal beatdown on demand so I don't have to choose between getting illegally abused or missing my flight.
 
2012-10-10 09:23:19 AM
"Gertie Shinglemeyere (unregistered) October 10, 2012, 03:53 0
what a bunch of whiners!       stop flying if you dont like the TSA! and who the heck needs to fly with massive amounts of cash? sucks to be them!"

That was an actual comment someone made on the news website. The government has got it made if people like this farktard keep blaming the victims except those actually breaking the law.
This argument is along the lines of:

"If those women didn't want to be murdered by their husbands, they shouldn't have gotten married."

Or: "If those women didn't want to be raped, they should have worn chastity belts"

Not real comments I've seen but it's the exact same logic.
 
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