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(ESPN)   Week 6 NFL Power Rankings: The Colts QB leads a 4th comeback, Baltimore wins despite the play of their QB, and some guy named Manning loses to the Patriots....well things are almost back to normal   (espn.go.com) divider line 262
    More: Amusing, Colts, Patriots, NFL, Baltimore, guy named, PBS, Danny Amendola, bye week  
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3833 clicks; posted to Sports » on 09 Oct 2012 at 1:25 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-10-09 04:39:27 PM  

Di Atribe: OTHER GRAPH Win Percentage vs. Opponent Strength of Victory. It basically answers the question, "Yeah, but who have they played?"


So Arizona is ranked below New England despite having 1)beaten them, 2)possessing a better record, and 3)having a harder overall schedule.

Sounds right.
 
2012-10-09 04:40:37 PM  
Friends,

We are gathered here today to celebrate a remarkable achievement. An achievement so grand in scale that it forces us to look inside ourselves as Farkers and explore why in fact we have this award at all. An achievement that makes us examine this precious gift and discover why it is that we bestow it on one blessed quarterback a week. An achievement that indeed wholly keeps in line with the reason for which The Jake was established.

Pure, unadulterated failure.

This quarterback saw the scene in Missouri, the land where he had once thrilled many of those same gleeful fans during his college days. He saw the awful sight that was a fellow gunslinger turning the ball over at a rapid clip. He surveyed the hideous scene that was said gunslinger laying unconscious on the field. And oh yes, he heard the absurd cheers that greeted him as he lay prostrate upon the ground.

All those things fully considered, our man took a deep, cleansing breath and said quietly to himself, "I can do worse."

It's not as if this quarterback had been unfamiliar with the ways of losering before Sunday. On the contrary, he had started on the path to successful failure in true style - with an early draft pick that left experienced league employees and fervent football fans alike choking on their beverage of choice. "Tenth?" they incredulously thought to themselves. "Tenth overall for this farking guy?" No matter the doubters, though, our man was obstinate in his belief in himself. "They think I can't make a mark in this league? They think I can't make Jaguars fans crazy? Watch this, dipshiats!"

And, oh my Lord, how the turnovers rolled in. That rookie campaign was absolutely unblemished in its objectives, a true monument to ineptitude previously unseen by anyone not wearing a full length mink coat while standing next to a private jet. He completed barely half of his passes that year. Had only one more touchdown than interception, if only because of a cornerback accidentally slapping a ball into a receiver's hands. His average yards per game was lower than everyone else in the NFL save Tim Tebow, like that counts. And his passer rating? Dead last. Last in the league, bar none.

And that was a league that included Curtis Painter, natch.

Therefore, it was with clear eyes and a full heart that this gridiron hero took the field on Sunday. His goal clear, his path to this award completely illuminated before him, as if the spirit of the namesake himself was guiding to the presentation ceremony with those orange sticks those dudes use at the airport.

It certainly seemed that way as the game got underway, at least.

But a funny thing happened on the way to the power rankings thread. His team received the ball first, and one would think he'd want to get on the board quickly, get the first one out of the way to get himself warmed up for the true brilliance that was to follow. Instead, his team's opening possession was the usual Jacksonville special - two MJD runs/one short little biatch pass. "Still, this quarterback figured, "I have plenty of time to crack the rating first, no need to wor -"

a.espncdn.com

Son of a biatch. Failing to consider your opponent in the race to The Jake is bad enough, but failing to notice your opponent when he's Jay farking Cutler, douchebag? Now that is some red hot steaming failure. Cutler cracked a rating first, and who KNOWS where he could go? He could go Full Delhomme at a moment's notice! Everything could be ruined, all because our man had no idea against whom he was playing. But he knew now, and he was absolutely ready.

The second quarter commenced, and he showed that the game was afoot as the sweet embrace of Corey Wootton enveloped him and he felt the ball slip away. There it went, bouncing merrily along the turf, straight to the arms of Julius Peppers. "Bang, there it is, motherfarker," he confidently thought, "hard one right off the board. Second half coming, plenty of time to find those other jerseys, baby."

The second half did come, but it did not proceed according to plan. True, the ball was quickly thrown away to the other team upon the Jaguars' very first possession post-halftime, but suddenly things turned. The ball started going to his own receivers. Every attempt made to mishandle the snap somehow didn't work, the ball strangely stuck securely to his wide hands as he dropped back. "What is this madness," our hero pondered, "the fourth quarter is about to begin and I only have a farking 33.3!"

Shaking off the self-doubt, the final frame started and this quarterback made sure to throw another pick, made damn sure to look right to his side to make certain there would be no obstacles in a defender's path on his way to running it back for yet another Chicago Bears touchdown. As he faded back, his throw to absolutely no one in any disgusting shade of teal made obvious to one and all, one might even have seen the bonus-chinned anti-hero of presentations past spitting indignantly on his sideline, the words "farking pussy, I would've had four pick sixes by now if I wanted, I'm Jay farking Cutler" escaping his lips.

7:54 left to play and one more turnover was needed. A 50.0 in his back pocket, now our quarterback simply needed to make people think he had never heard of football before that day one more time to get this sweet, sweet trophy all on his own.

A sack.

"Damn it, fell right on the friggin' ball. Okay, here's another short pass...wait a minute! 3 and out? Farking down markers...."

Watching the Bears cruising down the field once more, this quarterback was nervously eyeing the clock, his fingernails securely between his teeth as his opponent was sure to run time off the clock, think about the sweet Florida trim he was going to get after the game, consider how awesome Van Wilder 4 was going to be...tick, tick, tick went the clock, and all hope seemed lost. But wait! He knew all was not lost, as the glory accordant with a fortyburger touchdown score would be too sweet for even a diabetes-stricken gunslinger to avoid.

The score was made, and our protagonist had 109 seconds to live in infamy.

Stepping onto the battlefield one last time, this quarterback shook his hands and got ready to fling the ball. However, his failure to look outside of himself had once again struck. Whereas once he had failed to consider who his opponent was, now he had failed to remember for what team he played.

Run. Run. Run. That Goddamned Jennings was too damn quick to grab the ball as our man turned to drop it on the field! Didn't he know what was at stake here?

"Whew. Finally some pass plays. Here we go...Goddamn it, where's the farking defense? What the fark is this prevent shiat!"

Time for one last throw.

"Okay, one last pass. No one's gonna farking mistake me for that douche from Remember the Titans again, not after this...faaaaaaaaark, they're 10 yards off their man again! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

The ball tossed lamely 2 yards in front of him, the clock was stuck at 00:00.

His own clock was stuck at 50.0.

As he walked off the field, hopelessly stuck with a quarterback who couldn't even finish the game, he thought sad thoughts. Maybe he was terrible. Maybe his name was more appropriate for a major appliance than a person. And maybe it was another lanky, stringy-haired blonde who put it best.

"No thought was put into this, always knew it'd come to this, things have never been so swell, I have never failed to fail. BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNE!"

For recording a mere 50.0 when all that was needed for a solo victory was a 66.7, for throwing two pick sixes while failing to secure the greater goal, for failing to achieve even in the modest task which was his charge, I am proud to present the Week 5 Jake to Blaine Gabbert of the Jacksonville Jaguars.

i63.photobucket.com

Anything to add, BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNE?

www4.pictures.zimbio.com

"You know you're right."

Oh, why thank you.
 
2012-10-09 04:42:14 PM  

Di Atribe: You betta! And I do so love the clamoring for the graph. Makes me all warm and fuzzy. And I agree, we need to utilize the votinator buttons much more. Makes it easier to find the really good posts in a giant thread. Anyway. I MADED YOU A GRAFS


YEAH! GRAFS!!!!

Thanks Di!
 
2012-10-09 04:44:14 PM  

jaylectricity: ***snip***


SO GOOD
 
2012-10-09 04:44:36 PM  

Bunny Deville: Cassell or Gabbert? When will we know? :::bites nails:::


I'd suspect Cassell. 3 turnovers in a one-possession, no touchdown game could very well have been the difference between a boring, expected defeat for KC and a potential upset.

Gabbert's historic pick-6s, while spectacular and hilarious in their own right, were really a drop in the bucket of the JAX blowout. Even if you assume the Jags would have scored on the strip-sack possession, that's 21 combined points in a 38 point loss.

Plus, Cassell has the whole getting booed while concussed thing.
 
2012-10-09 04:46:01 PM  

thecpt: jaylectricity:***snip***

and I'm already sick of those.


You must be a ginger, you clearly have no soul.
 
2012-10-09 04:46:21 PM  
Dallas gained two positions on a bye. Oakland stayed in the same position.

Four teams won games and gained fewer than one position. THREE of those four are NFC West teams.

Because the Cardinals dropped four positions, the NFC West as a whole went 3-1 this week and dropped a spot as a group. The Giants moved up three spots for beating the Browns.

Gargle my balls, ESPN Power Rankings. Gargle my f*cking balls.
 
2012-10-09 04:49:14 PM  

Di Atribe: skrame: Dammit. There goes my prediction that two people will ask.

/Maybe the blurry STL icon will get them.

I know. I ruin everything. And I really did think the picture in the link would be bigger. I don't know why it's smallish.

Jim from Saint Paul: So we beat the 49ers and THEY get the picture?

THIS IS AN OUTRAGE.

I can always change the Vikings to one of these:

[i27.photobucket.com image 355x269]


Better then seeing the 49ers logo.
 
2012-10-09 04:50:47 PM  

Jubeebee: I'd suspect Cassell


robsul82: BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNE!


I'm wrong, but I'm GLAD to be wrong.

Excellent work, robsul.
 
2012-10-09 04:52:22 PM  

roc6783: You must be a ginger, you clearly have no soul.


It was just too close to the greenlight from a week ago. The RG3 thing was the only funny thing I haven't heard a million times yet.

/I'm not Andy Dalton
 
2012-10-09 04:52:31 PM  

Jubeebee: Bunny Deville: Cassell or Gabbert? When will we know? :::bites nails:::

I'd suspect Cassell. 3 turnovers in a one-possession, no touchdown game could very well have been the difference between a boring, expected defeat for KC and a potential upset.

Gabbert's historic pick-6s, while spectacular and hilarious in their own right, were really a drop in the bucket of the JAX blowout. Even if you assume the Jags would have scored on the strip-sack possession, that's 21 combined points in a 38 point loss.

Plus, Cassell has the whole getting booed while concussed thing.


Sigh.

You were saying?

/at least there were no allusions to dad or angry bunnies, I was half expecting that
 
2012-10-09 04:54:08 PM  
Annnnd Cushing is now out for the year. And if Kubiak keeps running Arian into the dirt, he'll be right behind him.
 
2012-10-09 04:54:29 PM  

IAmRight: Dallas gained two positions on a bye. Oakland stayed in the same position.

Four teams won games and gained fewer than one position. THREE of those four are NFC West teams.

Because the Cardinals dropped four positions, the NFC West as a whole went 3-1 this week and dropped a spot as a group. The Giants moved up three spots for beating the Browns.

Gargle my balls, ESPN Power Rankings. Gargle my f*cking balls.


And yet, despite holding the 2 lowest 3-2 teams, and the lowest 4-1 team, the NFC West still averages higher rankings than any other division.
 
2012-10-09 04:57:02 PM  

IAmRight: Because the Cardinals dropped four positions, the NFC West as a whole went 3-1 this week and dropped a spot as a group. The Giants moved up three spots for beating the Browns.



Nobody cares if your division rivals drop spots. Hell, that's when you're supposed to teabag your rivals' fans, when they drop for no reason.

Stick to biatching about the PAC 12. Taking that sort of collectivism into the NFL is just weird. And plus, the Cardinals are clownfrauds, and ricky's self-loathing lamentations are amusing; there's no reason for you to defend them.
 
2012-10-09 04:57:03 PM  

robsul82: ***snip***


Sunshine Approved!!

images.wikia.com
 
2012-10-09 04:57:05 PM  

robsul82: Friends,

As he faded back, his throw to absolutely no one in any disgusting shade of teal made obvious to one and all,


As a Sharks fan I am indignant at this jocularity. 
Well farking Done, sir.
 
2012-10-09 04:58:31 PM  

IAmRight: Dallas gained two positions on a bye. ... The Giants moved up three spots for beating the Browns.


Fact: The Browns are 50% more important or difficult than a bye week.
 
2012-10-09 04:59:04 PM  

Jubeebee: And plus, the Cardinals are clownfrauds, and ricky's self-loathing lamentations are amusing; there's no reason for you to defend them.


If everyone can sh*t on the division as a group, why can't we take pride in the division as a group? This is where I imagine most of the SEC stuff comes from - the rest of the country taking every opportunity possible to sh*t on the South as a whole.
 
2012-10-09 04:59:26 PM  

thecpt: roc6783: You must be a ginger, you clearly have no soul.

It was just too close to the greenlight from a week ago. The RG3 thing was the only funny thing I haven't heard a million times yet.

/I'm not Andy Dalton


It's no Jake or GRAF, but it's good and I like, so fark you, Andy.

///Dare me to call you Andy again....Andy.
 
2012-10-09 05:00:27 PM  

skrame: Fact: The Browns are 50% more important or difficult than a bye week.


But 3x more difficult than the Bills, Cardinals or Panthers...which is why the Browns are in last.
 
2012-10-09 05:00:48 PM  

roc6783: thecpt: roc6783: ***snip***


That was funnier without the typo, I promise.
 
2012-10-09 05:02:10 PM  

skrame: I'd put the o/u on this thread at around 157. I'd bet the over.


Well shiat, mang.
 
2012-10-09 05:12:11 PM  

roc6783: Dare me to call you Andy again....Andy.


Don't knock the guy with a law firm on his team. Litigation is a BIATCH
 
2012-10-09 05:13:49 PM  

IAmRight: If everyone can sh*t on the division as a group, why can't we take pride in the division as a group? This is where I imagine most of the SEC stuff comes from - the rest of the country taking every opportunity possible to sh*t on the South as a whole.


I suppose I can see your point, but I'm still going to argue with you.

In NORMAL divisions you're supposed to hate your division rivals more than any other teams because your rivals are the teams that stand most directly between your team and the playoffs. You want the other teams in your division to fail, and fail in comic, horrible ways, because no matter how you get into the playoffs, once you're there, you're a 3 or 4 game win streak from being champions. You get to host a playoff game if your division rivals fail.

But I suppose in the hippie, liberal, collectivist, 7-9-division-winner-having, West Coast softy NFC West where you all have to bond over who the hell puts teams in deserts and/or temperate rainforests and calls that an NFL division, stupid people that's who, *BREATH* I can see why you would root for your division as a whole.
 
2012-10-09 05:14:59 PM  

thecpt: jaylectricity: [profootballmock.com image 540x709] 
[profootballmock.com image 539x646] 
[profootballmock.com image 541x602]
[profootballmock.com image 541x664]
[profootballmock.com image 541x640]
[profootballmock.com image 541x668]
[profootballmock.com image 541x669]
[profootballmock.com image 541x677]
[profootballmock.com image 541x477]

and I'm already sick of those.


I was disappointed to realize the same thing as I stopped reading halfway through.
 
2012-10-09 05:18:35 PM  

thecpt: roc6783: Dare me to call you Andy again....Andy.

Don't knock the guy with a law firm on his team. Litigation is a BIATCH



Ya, that one went right by you, but it's cool.
 
2012-10-09 05:20:43 PM  
Am I the first to tell everyone Goodell put the suspensions back on?
 
2012-10-09 05:21:52 PM  

Sargun: Am I the first to tell everyone Goodell put the suspensions back on?


Yes. fark Goodell.
 
2012-10-09 05:22:37 PM  

roc6783: Ya, that on


That was awesome. I had no clue that video existed.
 
2012-10-09 05:30:04 PM  

Sargun: Am I the first to tell everyone Goodell put the suspensions back on?


Adam Schefter held me down and slapped me in the face with a live puffer fish while screaming it, but you are a close second.
 
2012-10-09 05:31:17 PM  
It's a conspiracy. He puts them back on only after the Breesus gets his record and the win? Conspiracy!
 
2012-10-09 05:32:10 PM  
Ahhhhhhhhh...all is right in the world once you read robsul82's weekly awarding of THE JAKE~!
 
2012-10-09 05:33:31 PM  

jaylectricity: skrame: I'd put the o/u on this thread at around 157. I'd bet the over.

Well shiat, mang.


I won't gloat. I was going to put it at 195, but got scared like a little girl.
 
2012-10-09 05:41:24 PM  

Sargun: Am I the first to tell everyone Goodell put the suspensions back on?


Saw that earlier, but figured there would soon be a thread about it.

Apparently not.
 
2012-10-09 05:44:07 PM  

robsul82: For recording a mere 50.0 when all that was needed for a solo victory was a 66.7, for throwing two pick sixes while failing to secure the greater goal, for failing to achieve even in the modest task which was his charge, I am proud to present the Week 5 Jake to Blaine Gabbert of the Jacksonville Jaguars.


i1182.photobucket.com

STUPID MATT CASSEL EVEN SUCKS AT SUCKING!!! >:-(
 
2012-10-09 05:44:24 PM  

Harv72b: Billy Cundiff missed yet another very makeable field goal, and when RGIII was knocked out with the Redskins still in a position to win it, fellow rookie Kirk Cousins got the call over Rex Grossman. Methinks those are two veterans who are on their way out...


Cundiff was cut today. Are you a wizard?
 
2012-10-09 05:46:29 PM  

Jubeebee: I love the SOV chart and all of its hidden gems.


*curtsey* The pleasure is all mine.


PaulieattheTap: YEAH! GRAFS!!!!

Thanks Di!


YEAH! :)


robsul82: The second quarter commenced, and he showed that the game was afoot as the sweet embrace of Corey Wootton enveloped him and he felt the ball slip away.


This part gave me a severe case of the giggles. I had to stop and re-read a few times. You are the best/worst, rob. WOOT
 
2012-10-09 06:00:46 PM  

Gonz: AnEvilGuest, I don't disagree with you... it's just that I don't agree 100% with you. It's good to be improving IF that's what your team needs to be doing right now. For the Pats? They're working in new pieces, they need to be improving. So, for that matter, do teams like the Dolphins, who have a chance to be a respectable, average NFL team this year, which is a way higher ceiling than I thought they had.

But what about, say, the Falcons? They were the #2 seed in the NFC last year, and didn't lose much. They don't really need to improve overall too much, just keep doing what they do and stay in contention. Same with the Texans and Niners- there's not a lot they can do to get better, and not a lot they need to do. Just get in. After that? Any. Given. Sunday.


I believe that if teams aren't improving they will be passed by teams that are.

I certainly agree that getting in is #1 though and wins in September count just as much as wins in December.

Also in the salary cap era AGS is truer than ever.

But I also believe teams are closer in talent than it seems and critically important plays routinely depend on all those players whose names are known only to their moms, home team diehard fans and God. So everyone that isn't getting better needs to be pretty damn fantastic already.

Also every thing you do is on tape so you have to keep re-inventing yourself as teams discover effective strategies against you. The Patriots when teams discovered "clogging the center and not worrying about the non-existent deep threats" would be an example of that as they were a few years back when "double that wes welker guy" was discovered. The Packers were rolling until that KC game last year and something like 4 - 5 since.

I don't know what the ideal strategy against the Falcons is, but if they stay still then teams will find it.
The 2001 Rams didn't have an answer to "beat the hell out of faulk" so they let a less accomplished team stay close enough to have a chance.
The Falcons will usually be successful against even "ideal falcon punch" because they have great talent and execution but if they keep adding to what they can do then it makes it harder to develop "ideal falcon punch"
 
2012-10-09 06:11:20 PM  

Misplaced yat: Sargun: Am I the first to tell everyone Goodell put the suspensions back on?

Saw that earlier, but figured there would soon be a thread about it.

Apparently not.


Naw, let's have a Goodell suspension thread about Brian Cushing's ACL
 
2012-10-09 06:14:51 PM  

Bunny Deville: Di Atribe: skrame: Dammit. There goes my prediction that two people will ask.

/Maybe the blurry STL icon will get them.

I know. I ruin everything. And I really did think the picture in the link would be bigger. I don't know why it's smallish.

Jim from Saint Paul: So we beat the 49ers and THEY get the picture?

THIS IS AN OUTRAGE.

I can always change the Vikings to one of these:

You should go up thread, find the Jaguars picture of the burning shiathouses, and make the Jags picture that if they lose again in two weeks.


FTFY
 
2012-10-09 06:19:59 PM  

Jubeebee: In NORMAL divisions you're supposed to hate your division rivals more than any other teams because your rivals are the teams that stand most directly between your team and the playoffs. You want the other teams in your division to fail, and fail in comic, horrible ways, because no matter how you get into the playoffs, once you're there, you're a 3 or 4 game win streak from being champions. You get to host a playoff game if your division rivals fail.

But I suppose in the hippie, liberal, collectivist, 7-9-division-winner-having, West Coast softy NFC West where you all have to bond over who the hell puts teams in deserts and/or temperate rainforests and calls that an NFL division, stupid people that's who, *BREATH* I can see why you would root for your division as a whole.


NFL Divisions are no different than any family. You compete with your siblings, fight with them, mock them and tell them how much you hate them, but as soon as anyone from outside the family tries to do so you kick their ass. It's the same reason I can mock the Browns ad infinitum and explain at length why the Pittsburgh Steelers are the most evil entity in world history, but as soon as some Patriots fan chimes in I have to remind them that Tom Brady wears women's boots.

/The Bengals are the family's version of the little sister with Down's; you just pat them on the head & say "good job".
 
2012-10-09 06:20:27 PM  

roc6783: thecpt: jaylectricity:***snip***

and I'm already sick of those.

You must be a ginger, you clearly have no soul.


This was the first one I've seen, but I cracked up at the "Shutup Guys, it was my bye week." "Oh, so only 2 then?"
 
2012-10-09 06:20:53 PM  

Sargun: Misplaced yat: Sargun: Am I the first to tell everyone Goodell put the suspensions back on?

Saw that earlier, but figured there would soon be a thread about it.

Apparently not.

Naw, let's have a Goodell suspension thread about Brian Cushing's ACL


Do we really need one? Was anyone surprised by the suspensions getting reissued? Only thing that gave me pause was reducing the suspensions of the non-Saints players, to show how open-minded he was. Nice one, douche, an extra toss of salt in the wound that the bootlickers here and water carriers in the media can point to as showing how reasonable Roger is, lol. As if Fujita or Hargrove said anything different.
 
2012-10-09 06:21:35 PM  

skrame: Cundiff was cut today. Are you a wizard?


That was about as difficult to see coming as Manute Bol in Munchkinland.
 
2012-10-09 06:23:16 PM  

thecpt: jaylectricity: [profootballmock.com image 540x709] 
[profootballmock.com image 539x646] 
[profootballmock.com image 541x602]
[profootballmock.com image 541x664]
[profootballmock.com image 541x640]
[profootballmock.com image 541x668]
[profootballmock.com image 541x669]
[profootballmock.com image 541x677]
[profootballmock.com image 541x477]

and I'm already sick of those.


Not me Im still laughing.
 
2012-10-09 06:24:13 PM  

robsul82: Do we really need one? Was anyone surprised by the suspensions getting reissued? Only thing that gave me pause was reducing the suspensions of the non-Saints players, to show how open-minded he was. Nice one, douche, an extra toss of salt in the wound that the bootlickers here and water carriers in the media can point to as showing how reasonable Roger is, lol. As if Fujita or Hargrove said anything different.


At least you can rest easy in the knowledge that once the Zombie Apocalypse hits us, Roger Goodell is the first one I (and many others) plan to shoot in the head. Although I might just chain him up and throw things at him if he gets zombified before I get there.
 
2012-10-09 06:26:27 PM  

jaylectricity: Can we just admit that Steffi Graf is just cute and that's the only reason anybody cares about her?


skrame.com
 
2012-10-09 06:26:43 PM  

Harv72b: NFL Divisions are no different than any family. You compete with your siblings, fight with them, mock them and tell them how much you hate them, but as soon as anyone from outside the family tries to do so you kick their ass. It's the same reason I can mock the Browns ad infinitum and explain at length why the Pittsburgh Steelers are the most evil entity in world history, but as soon as some Patriots fan chimes in I have to remind them that Tom Brady wears women's boots.

/The Bengals are the family's version of the little sister with Down's; you just pat them on the head & say "good job".


The Eagles are not my family. They are gross and there is no way we are related to those mongrels.


my_cats_breath_smells_like_cat_food: This was the first one I've seen, but I cracked up at the "Shutup Guys, it was my bye week." "Oh, so only 2 then?"


SHUT UP WE DIDN'T LOSE DID WE


my_cats_breath_smells_like_cat_food: Bunny DeVille: You should go up thread, find the Jaguars picture of the burning shiathouses, and make the Jags picture that if they lose again in two weeks.

FTFY

 

I'd love to do that, but I think the icons are too small for that joke to come through properly. :(
 
2012-10-09 06:29:18 PM  

Di Atribe: The Eagles are not my family. They are gross and there is no way we are related to those mongrels.


Oh, you'd still get upset if they went 0-16 and the whole world started mocking them. If for no other reason than that it would cheapen two of your wins. :p
 
2012-10-09 06:33:40 PM  

Harv72b: Jubeebee: In NORMAL divisions you're supposed to hate your division rivals more than any other teams because your rivals are the teams that stand most directly between your team and the playoffs. You want the other teams in your division to fail, and fail in comic, horrible ways, because no matter how you get into the playoffs, once you're there, you're a 3 or 4 game win streak from being champions. You get to host a playoff game if your division rivals fail.

But I suppose in the hippie, liberal, collectivist, 7-9-division-winner-having, West Coast softy NFC West where you all have to bond over who the hell puts teams in deserts and/or temperate rainforests and calls that an NFL division, stupid people that's who, *BREATH* I can see why you would root for your division as a whole.

NFL Divisions are no different than any family. You compete with your siblings, fight with them, mock them and tell them how much you hate them, but as soon as anyone from outside the family tries to do so you kick their ass. It's the same reason I can mock the Browns ad infinitum and explain at length why the Pittsburgh Steelers are the most evil entity in world history, but as soon as some Patriots fan chimes in I have to remind them that Tom Brady wears women's boots.

/The Bengals are the family's version of the little sister with Down's; you just pat them on the head & say "good job".


I don't see it, I sympathize with the Bills and Dolphins out of familiarity and the way there fans have suffered but if you want to ridicule the Jets I won't bring up the Unibrower unless you fail to bring every bit of wit, spite and malice you have.
 
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