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(Big 1059)   "Yes, 9-1-1? Hi. I'm 15, and I just killed my family with a gun. I thought it would be quick and painless for them, but everything kinda went wrong"   (big1059.com) divider line 80
    More: Scary  
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46024 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Oct 2012 at 1:01 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-10-09 01:13:44 PM
12 votes:

serial_crusher: SlothB77: Subby ... 17-year-old Jake Evans admitted to shooting his mother and sister to death.

Yeah, talk about things going wrong. Spent a whole 2 years shooting them to death? Hardcore man.


No, he just did it last week. You take 17 and multiply it by .22 (the caliber for the weapon) and then multiply that by 4 (the number of surviving family members, including the shooter) and you get 14.96. They just rounded it to 15.  I know it sounds complicated but that's how it works.
2012-10-09 12:24:11 PM
9 votes:

SlothB77: Subby ... 17-year-old Jake Evans admitted to shooting his mother and sister to death.


Yeah, talk about things going wrong. Spent a whole 2 years shooting them to death? Hardcore man.
2012-10-09 01:09:57 PM
8 votes:

Crewmannumber6: Naturally, the community was shocked.


boards.adultswim.com

Erhmm, naturally, naturally.
2012-10-09 01:12:19 PM
6 votes:

borg: I blame Hollywood they always show people dying instantly when they're shot and not screaming in agony while they bleed to death


Which is why from now on all movie death scenes need to be done like this one from Turkey.


Link
2012-10-09 01:09:44 PM
6 votes:
He don't like Mondays?
2012-10-09 01:54:59 PM
5 votes:
I think this is going to really mess him up in the future.
2012-10-09 01:11:33 PM
5 votes:

Quasar: Sounds a bit sociopathic.


He would have made an excellent CEO if he could have channeled the violence into hurting people in other ways.
2012-10-09 01:15:57 PM
4 votes:
He says he's worried that this will mess him up in the future. Dude, you're old enough to be tried as an adult, and you just committed a double-murder on your own family in the state of Texas. What future you have left involves experiences that will make The Shawshank Redemption look like an episode of Gossip Girl.
2012-10-09 01:12:08 PM
4 votes:
His dad is going to be pissed when he gets home. Grounded for life pissed.
2012-10-09 02:18:22 PM
3 votes:
I wonder how he felt about Whitney Houston's music?
2012-10-09 02:16:03 PM
3 votes:

Launch Code: Did you ever consider a baseball bat an ASSUALT WEAPON?


Did you ever consider a baseball bat an assault weapon... ON WEED?
2012-10-09 01:20:32 PM
3 votes:
Lock him up with Sandusky.
2012-10-09 03:23:53 PM
2 votes:

blatz514: The teen also admitted that "this is really going to mess me up in the future."

In the future?????


Yeah, this is not going to look good on his college applications.
2012-10-09 03:16:13 PM
2 votes:

blatz514: The teen also admitted that "this is really going to mess me up in the future."

In the future?????


Welcome to the future!
2012-10-09 01:55:01 PM
2 votes:
The reason why this happened is because the scarcity of guns in the house. If every family member owned a gun, this would never have happened. The fewer guns there are, the more people die.
2012-10-09 01:17:49 PM
2 votes:
blatz514: The teen also admitted that "this is really going to mess me up in the future."

In the future?????


Would you have preferred he said, "in the past?" Because now we'd have to deal with time-traveling murderous sociopaths, and we don't want that.
2012-10-09 01:12:37 PM
2 votes:
The teen also admitted that "this is really going to mess me up in the future."

In the future?????
2012-10-09 01:11:53 PM
2 votes:

borg: I blame Hollywood they always show people dying instantly when they're shot and not screaming in agony while they bleed to death.


I remember valve once saying something like this back when TF2 had a realistic theme. No one makes realistic war games because it's not fun to get gutshot, and have your character roll around screaming for the next six hours till he goes into shock and dies.
2012-10-09 01:08:02 PM
2 votes:
grownfolksmusic.com

Cold-blooded.
2012-10-09 01:06:58 PM
2 votes:
Naturally, the community was shocked.
2012-10-09 06:47:08 PM
1 votes:
Dispatcher: "Are you sure they're dead?"

Caller: "Hang on... [sound of gunshots] Yeah, they're definitely dead."
2012-10-09 05:58:36 PM
1 votes:
Somebody needs to do something about batshiat crazy white people and guns. I think we need to ship them all back to Europe where they came from. The more you give them, the crazier the shiat they do. They are beyond hope and cannot be helped and we need to just stop pandering to white people and lock them all up or put them in permanent slavery.

/am I doing it right?
2012-10-09 04:47:42 PM
1 votes:

Xai: but guns make you safer and if the entire family had guns too they could have used their guns to deflect the bullets in the air...


Don't be stupid. You shoot the other bullets out of the air with your bullets.
Xai
2012-10-09 04:45:49 PM
1 votes:
but guns make you safer and if the entire family had guns too they could have used their guns to deflect the bullets in the air...
2012-10-09 04:35:29 PM
1 votes:

dan1101: Yeah the 911 operators demeanor seemed strange, but really how else should she act? Keeping him calm seems like the rational thing until the police (finally) arrive.


Obviously, she should start hyperventilating and repeating "ohmahJesus, OHMAHJESUS! THAT LITTLE BOY MURDERED HIS FAMILY!" then begin openly weeping.
2012-10-09 04:20:42 PM
1 votes:
THIS 911 CALL WAS 20 MINUTES LONG. WHAT THE fark

Yeah hi there was a homicide... Yeah whatever we will be there WHENEVER THE fark WE WANT. Even in Sim City 2000 a 20 minute response time would have been unacceptable.
2012-10-09 04:10:59 PM
1 votes:

clyph: Kid's got some serious undiagnosed problems going on. What's the over/under on him being found not competent to stand trial?


This being in Texas, the parents can do what my parents do when one of my siblings go off script....

Put him in the hands of the Lord.
2012-10-09 04:05:51 PM
1 votes:

Mark Ratner: Should have used a bigger gun, you psycho nutjob.


But, it's supposed to be a magic death stick. It goes bang and people just fall over.

Kid's got some serious undiagnosed problems going on. What's the over/under on him being found not competent to stand trial?
2012-10-09 04:01:33 PM
1 votes:

pag1107: Under 18 when crime committed, federal law says he can't be executed.


Don't worry, his butthole will get executed regularly in Huntsville.
2012-10-09 03:59:54 PM
1 votes:

you have pee hands: CapeFearCadaver: Crazy is crazy is crazy.

Sociopaths wear some pretty believable masks.

Sociopaths are usually more self serving. You don't get much out of committing a crime you can't possibly get away with. I wonder if he's psychotic.


"I'm not a psychopath, I am a highly functional sociopath!"

/obscure?
2012-10-09 03:41:38 PM
1 votes:
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com

Clearly Heavy metal music is to blame. It gets played on the wireless, where ANYONE can hear it!
2012-10-09 03:35:50 PM
1 votes:

Louisiana_Sitar_Club: serial_crusher: SlothB77: Subby ... 17-year-old Jake Evans admitted to shooting his mother and sister to death.

Yeah, talk about things going wrong. Spent a whole 2 years shooting them to death? Hardcore man.

No, he just did it last week. You take 17 and multiply it by .22 (the caliber for the weapon) and then multiply that by 4 (the number of surviving family members, including the shooter) and you get 14.96. They just rounded it to 15.  I know it sounds complicated but that's how it works.


You forgot, he didn't turn 17 on Monday. He's obviously 17.0454545 for this equation.
2012-10-09 03:30:04 PM
1 votes:

Quasar: Sounds a bit sociopathic.


Yeah a bit. Like the ocean is a bit wet.
2012-10-09 03:28:30 PM
1 votes:
She reminds me of Delilah. She's make a great night-time radio host.
2012-10-09 03:20:27 PM
1 votes:
Family First!
2012-10-09 03:17:15 PM
1 votes:

Yaxe: Cythraul: All kinds of crazy going on with this kid.

This.

Also, a .22? Christ man, shoulda used a way bigger gun.


What does Christ man need with a gun?
2012-10-09 03:11:12 PM
1 votes:

Cythraul: 99.998er: Wow...I am usually all for humor and stuff on Fark. I listened to the entire 25 minute call. I am so sad for everybody involved, and yes I am sad for Jake, too. That kid was so polite and nice on the phone it made me wonder what snapped in his brain. For all of the bloodlust people here who probably did not listen to audio, you should. You might just find that tiny fiber of compassion that most people are born with. His entire family is either dead or destroyed. Something horrible went on with this poor kid. I am not religious by any means, but even I said a little prayer for him. God I hope he finds the help he needs.

I have compassion for his family, of course. But why would I have compassion for him? He's a sociopath. He wouldn't even care if you have compassion for him.


I wouldn't say you should have compassion for him because no matter what he made a horrible choice and did a horrible thing. However, you might want to consider that there might be more going on than just a random kid deciding to shoot his mother and sister. For all you know his dad has been raping him and his sisters their entire lives, and his goal was to kill his mom for allowing it to go on and end his sisters suffering at his fathers hand. Or something else similarly horrible may have been going on. The point being to reserve final judgement in your mind until you have more information.
2012-10-09 03:05:46 PM
1 votes:

SchlingFocker: For the record, gated communities are very common in Texas.


Yeah, I know...
But I live in a part of east houston that has gates on all the doors and windows rather than around the subdivisions.
2012-10-09 03:02:57 PM
1 votes:

BeatrixK: The 911 operator was awfully warm and fuzzy, given that the little shiat just murdered 20% of his family.


I WAS TOLD THERE WOULD BE NO MATH!!!

/Pair-o-Dice is getting angry!!
2012-10-09 02:38:28 PM
1 votes:

Bacontastesgood: my_cats_breath_smells_like_cat_food: a .223 isn't a .22

Yeah, what you're referring to is pretty much the dumbest post in this thread.


Yeah, right up until you posted
2012-10-09 02:27:21 PM
1 votes:

Crewmannumber6: Naturally, the community was shocked.


Indubitably my good man. Indubitably.
2012-10-09 02:27:05 PM
1 votes:

depmode98: The reason why this happened is because the scarcity of guns in the house. If every family member owned a gun, this would never have happened. The fewer guns there are, the more people die.


Is it racist if you call it a "mexican standoff"? What if your family is actually Mexican? Is it OK then? I realize if you're like Peruvian or Cuban then it's totally racist, but what if your family is FROM Cuba but your parental grandfather was born in Mexico, and can trace his lineage to Montezuma? Then I think it would be OK to call it a Mexican standoff. But if he was German then it's back to being racist.
2012-10-09 02:20:10 PM
1 votes:

chaoswolf: I wonder why they all look like they're forcing their smiles?


Have you ever tried smiling at gunpoint?

/too soon?
2012-10-09 02:18:36 PM
1 votes:
Okay, that's it. Check please. I'm done with people.

/some allergies
2012-10-09 02:18:15 PM
1 votes:
I live in Texas, and I'm surrounded by... well, you people, apparently, so way to go.

Being against the death penalty means you're against the death penalty. There's no "unless", there's no "except". If you aren't willing to, if necessary, pay for the care and treatment of someone like this for the remainder of their natural life, you need to shut the fark up about your principles.

/against the death penalty
2012-10-09 02:16:26 PM
1 votes:

JohnCarter: So - question for all you legal scholars out there...

He basically confesses on tape to the 911 dispatcher. Is that considered admissible in court? Should the operator be reading him his rights and advising him he may need to be quiet? Will a sharp defense attorney be able to get that thrown out along with anything else that comes from that subsequent search as a direct result of the 911 call (guns, bullets, etc)

Was his confession on 911 a brilliant ploy to get his case tossed on a technicality?

Texas lawyers, what say you?


Well from my understanding (I'm not a lawyer, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn), the Miranda rules only apply to confessing while under interrogation. Anything you manage to do to incriminate yourself is pretty much fair game (within the limits of what is admissible in court.)

The Miranda rules are in place for when the cops would have nothing on you except for your own testimony. (Thus why the fifth amendment applies.) In this case, the accused was not speaking to a police officer, he was talking to a 911 dispatcher. And her testimony is still perfectly admissible because it can hardly be said she coerced him into confessing after HE called HER.
2012-10-09 02:13:15 PM
1 votes:
As his basis for wanting to commit murder, Evans ironically said that he didn't like the negative attitudes people generally have. He also explained that his family was suffocating him and then said that he is "evil."

Hmmm...not sure how they could have gotten that idea.

The teen also admitted that "this is really going to mess me up in the future."

Since this happened in Texas, I'm going to go out on a limb and suggest "not for long it won't."
2012-10-09 02:03:57 PM
1 votes:

Sleeping Monkey: Guns don't kill people. Bullets fired from guns do.


Knives don't kill people, hands holding knives moving quickly toward people do.
2012-10-09 02:02:22 PM
1 votes:

Launch Code: Did you ever consider a baseball bat an ASSUALT WEAPON?


Wouldn't that be battery? A lot of people confuse the two.
2012-10-09 01:55:13 PM
1 votes:
I am surprised there wasn't any reference to violent video games in the article, I guess that is for a follow up story. Growing up I played violent video games, paintball and watched violent movies so look out everyone I am way overdo to go on a murdering rampage.
2012-10-09 01:49:34 PM
1 votes:

jaylectricity: Born_Again_Bavarian: / Too obscure?

Blockbuster movies made out of blockbuster novels are never obscure.

Now Hunger Games...that...that would be obscure.


This isn't a blockbuster movie...........yet. Hence the "obscure" comment. I think they are still working on the script.
2012-10-09 01:41:52 PM
1 votes:

ElLoco: If by 'inject,' you mean 'hit in the side of the head with a roofing hammer'... then yea, I'm ok with that.


How about a pneumatic bolt?

i.imgur.com
2012-10-09 01:37:39 PM
1 votes:

Valiente: He don't like Mondays?


www.wallstreetoasis.com
2012-10-09 01:31:15 PM
1 votes:

pute kisses like a man: well... it's strange how things have changed.

in the 90s, I remember the common sentiment that it's horrible time to raise a child because the world is so crazy and they'll suffer so much from this crazy world (see "The Rock" for more info).

now, I'm absolutely more frightened of the children. kids are killing parents and strangers, and pretty much anyone they can find. for no predictable reason (I'm sure there's a reason, but it doesn't help if the reason can't be reliably cured before the murder spree).


The Rock never said such a thing. That was Rick Flair.
2012-10-09 01:29:42 PM
1 votes:

2 Replies: Who's running the stop-lights this morning!?


You're supposed to be doing that job, remember? I handed you the reins when I had to go potty.
2012-10-09 01:28:46 PM
1 votes:

Sleeping Monkey: Guns don't kill people. Bullets fired from guns do.


Bullets fired from guns don't kill people - inadequate tissue perfusion brought on by blood loss from massive trauma kills people.

TMYK [stars]
2012-10-09 01:28:18 PM
1 votes:

dragonchild: I was told there was nothing left. No reason, no conscience, no understanding; even the most rudimentary sense of life or death, good or evil, right or wrong. I met this seventeen-year-old child, with this blank, pale, emotionless face and, the blackest eyes... the devil's eyes.


www.wearysloth.com
2012-10-09 01:28:13 PM
1 votes:

Quasar: Sounds a bit sociopathic.


ROMNEY SUPPORTER.
2012-10-09 01:26:59 PM
1 votes:
So is he 15, or 17?

Wait, so you're saying Subby didn't even bother to read their own submission for accuracy?
Who's running the stop-lights this morning!?
2012-10-09 01:26:37 PM
1 votes:
"He also explained that his family was suffocating him and then said that he is "evil."

That'll learn 'em to call him evil.

Apparently, the irony of killing his mother and sister for killing him evil was lost on him.
2012-10-09 01:25:06 PM
1 votes:

Why Would I Read the Article: borg: I blame Hollywood they always show people dying instantly when they're shot and not screaming in agony while they bleed to death

Which is why from now on all movie death scenes need to be done like this one from Turkey.

Link



Like having shiat on his face and getting shot several times wasn't bad enough, he goes and shoots himself in the foot.
2012-10-09 01:24:51 PM
1 votes:

nmemkha: I'm sure Texas will eventually 'inject a little sense' into the boy.


If by 'inject,' you mean 'hit in the side of the head with a roofing hammer'... then yea, I'm ok with that.
2012-10-09 01:24:17 PM
1 votes:
Kill them early, before the law allows them to punish you. This kid will walk freely among society once he hits 18, just a ticking bomb waiting to kill more people
2012-10-09 01:21:18 PM
1 votes:
I'm sure Texas will eventually 'inject a little sense' into the boy.
2012-10-09 01:20:33 PM
1 votes:
"I just killed my mom and my sister," he said. "I shot them with a .22 revolver."
However, the details didn't end there. Evans went into the shocking factors surrounding the incident.
"I just thought it would be quick, you know," the teen told the dispatcher of the crime, which was committed in Annetta South, Texas. "I didn't want them to feel any pain. That's why I used a gun, but it was like everything went wrong."



"No kidding"

www.flix66.com

/ Too obscure?
bow
2012-10-09 01:20:12 PM
1 votes:
Reason #167 not to have kids: murderous rampage on the family.
2012-10-09 01:17:05 PM
1 votes:

ParaHandy: Texas tag?


Good point. Florida news outlet, Texas story.

Guess I was too scared to notice.
2012-10-09 01:15:59 PM
1 votes:
This was a poor attempt at a Bel-Air
2012-10-09 01:15:25 PM
1 votes:
I blame the new HD re-release of GTA 3.

He should have blown his own brains out instead of killing his family.
2012-10-09 01:14:23 PM
1 votes:
Somebody needs a hug
2012-10-09 01:13:56 PM
1 votes:

Antimatter: I remember valve once saying something like this back when TF2 had a realistic theme. No one makes realistic war games because it's not fun to get gutshot, and have your character roll around screaming for the next six hours till he goes into shock and dies.


Actually, I was immensely disappointed that the new XCOM doesn't do exactly that. It seems like an obvious evolution of the panic/fatal wound/losing consciousness mechanics.
2012-10-09 01:12:58 PM
1 votes:
More Florida than Scary.
2012-10-09 01:11:28 PM
1 votes:
Dear Annetta South, Texas Police Department,

Take this kid out of his cell, walk him behind the building, and put, at miniumum, two bullets into his head from 6'-8' away.

Thank you,

Society at Large
2012-10-09 01:11:14 PM
1 votes:

CapeFearCadaver: Crazy is crazy is crazy.


We're all out there looking for some deeper motive, whatever happened to just being crazy? "Why'd he do it?" "He's crazy!"

media.nj.com
2012-10-09 01:10:22 PM
1 votes:

Valiente: He don't like Mondays?


I hate you
2012-10-09 01:09:55 PM
1 votes:

CapeFearCadaver: Police don't currently have a motive for the murders, as Evans had no history of mental illness or substance abuse. In fact, the young man even told the dispatcher that he wasn't angry with his mother or his sister.

Crazy is crazy is crazy.

Sociopaths wear some pretty believable masks.


I wonder how much that photo looks like his appearance prior to the crime, because I'm pretty sure I would have had some suspicions about that kid.
2012-10-09 01:09:18 PM
1 votes:
I blame Hollywood they always show people dying instantly when they're shot and not screaming in agony while they bleed to death.
2012-10-09 12:57:32 PM
1 votes:
"I just killed my mom and my sister," he said. "I shot them with a .22 revolver."
However, the details didn't end there. Evans went into the shocking factors surrounding the incident.
"I just thought it would be quick, you know," the teen told the dispatcher of the crime, which was committed in Annetta South, Texas. "I didn't want them to feel any pain. That's why I used a gun, but it was like everything went wrong."

Should have used a bigger gun, you psycho nutjob.
2012-10-09 11:49:34 AM
1 votes:
Just tell him everything's gonna be alright, lock him in solitary, close the vents and light the charcoal...
2012-10-09 11:43:49 AM
1 votes:
Sounds a bit sociopathic.
 
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