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(Glossy News)   Apple announces... huh, that's fitting   (glossynews.com) divider line 48
    More: Satire, Apple Inc., mass suicide, battery power, moderation system, Skittles, history books  
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11153 clicks; posted to Geek » on 09 Oct 2012 at 11:23 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



48 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-10-09 08:59:27 AM
In an internet almost entirely dominated by painfully unfunny things, that article really takes the cake.
 
2012-10-09 09:31:52 AM
What is this "Glossy News", and why am I suddenly seeing a bunch of submissions from it?

Because, much like your blog, it sucks.
 
2012-10-09 10:10:47 AM

Jackson Herring: In an internet almost entirely dominated by painfully unfunny things, that article really takes the cake.


This

Gonz: What is this "Glossy News", and why am I suddenly seeing a bunch of submissions from it?

Because, much like your blog, it sucks.


And this.

Thread over.
 
2012-10-09 10:24:56 AM
Hey Glossy News:
YOU'RE BORING PEOPLE!
STOP BORING PEOPLE!
 
2012-10-09 10:57:47 AM
hijinksensue.com
 
2012-10-09 11:26:52 AM
Green? Really?
 
2012-10-09 11:28:15 AM
Fark announces... payola greenlights.
 
2012-10-09 11:29:16 AM
You're trying to hard. Funny should look effortless. Like your mom,
 
2012-10-09 11:31:32 AM
WFT was that?
 
2012-10-09 11:33:00 AM
I don't understand.
 
2012-10-09 11:33:46 AM
WTF am I reading?
 
2012-10-09 11:34:02 AM
Google responded to the announcement by announcing a Skittles-crapping mule that collapsed whenever a rider sat on it and died after thirty minutes of crapping Skittles.

Was the funniest part of the article. Made me smile just enough so that I was aware of it.

If your "humorous" article struggles to make me smile....yeah. Hope that's not your day job.
 
2012-10-09 11:35:55 AM

paulleah: You're trying to hard.


I didn't realize hard was a verb.
 
2012-10-09 11:42:28 AM
Forget the article. The real news is the ad at the top of the page:

images5.yandy.com

images7.yandy.com

images8.yandy.com
 
2012-10-09 11:44:39 AM
Greenlight?... really?
 
2012-10-09 11:45:24 AM
Well that sucked.

4.bp.blogspot.com

Here's a nice picture that has an apple.
 
2012-10-09 11:49:06 AM
Really got to stop clicking glossy news links....thats the second one i've clicked and it was just as shiat as the first one
 
2012-10-09 11:49:44 AM
media.comicvine.com
 
2012-10-09 11:51:16 AM

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: Well that sucked.

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 598x600]

Here's a nice picture that has an apple.


Good but that picture has two apples.
 
2012-10-09 11:51:30 AM
So that's where BBSpot went to.

I was wondering.... I couldn't imagine that much unfunny leaving the internet for too long.
 
2012-10-09 11:53:53 AM
i.qkme.me
 
2012-10-09 11:56:33 AM

Jackson Herring: In an internet almost entirely dominated by painfully unfunny things, that article really takes the cake.


My internet is almost entirely dominated by porn Some of it may be painful, but mostly it's harmless.
 
2012-10-09 11:58:04 AM
Satire needs subtlty, some delicacy, some finesse. This is taking a stupid sarcastic comment, attaching it to the end of a jackhammer, and drilling peoples heads the moment they click on the page.

If anyone is proud of that article they should be destroyed. Like Muldoon wanted to destroy the raptors. Yeah.
 
2012-10-09 11:58:41 AM
Well there's something neither Tesla or Edison could do.
 
2012-10-09 12:04:24 PM

grinding_journalist: Google responded to the announcement by announcing a Skittles-crapping mule that collapsed whenever a rider sat on it and died after thirty minutes of crapping Skittles.

Was the funniest part of the article. Made me smile just enough so that I was aware of it.

If your "humorous" article struggles to make me smile....yeah. Hope that's not your day job.


Yes, that was by far the funniest part.

And since unicorns FART rainbows, they should have written the article as an upgrade from "Rainbow-Farting Unicorn 3GS".
 
2012-10-09 12:15:49 PM
That was really farking stupid. On the other hand, Fark Apple.
 
2012-10-09 12:21:59 PM
Even though Macs were at one time the standard in my line of work, I have never liked them. The one sitting next to me hasn't been turned on in over a week. I have never been a fan of the Apple Cult either but I have to say that blog was really bad.
 
2012-10-09 12:25:04 PM
The Onion did it much better:

Sony Releases New Stupid Piece Of S** That Doesn't F***ing Work

NSFW language, obviously. Lots of it. I had to TinyURL it since the swearword filters catch the real URL.
=Smidge=
 
2012-10-09 12:27:10 PM
applejack.ponychan.net
 
2012-10-09 12:40:16 PM

Smidge204: The Onion did it much better:

Sony Releases New Stupid Piece Of S** That Doesn't F***ing Work

NSFW language, obviously. Lots of it. I had to TinyURL it since the swearword filters catch the real URL.
=Smidge=


That was pretty stupid too.
 
2012-10-09 12:44:22 PM
Oof.. That was more unfunny that a BBSpot piece
 
2012-10-09 12:49:47 PM
Haha "wow this article sucks, better post a bunch of unfunny pony image macros"
 
bow [TotalFark]
2012-10-09 01:10:52 PM
Really? What the hell was the point of that?
 
2012-10-09 01:13:21 PM
Approves.

i16.photobucket.com

...but would rather eat the rainbow and poop butterflies.
 
2012-10-09 01:27:30 PM

Jackson Herring: Haha "wow this article sucks, better post a bunch of unfunny pony image macros"


See if you can spot the "unicorn" tie in.
 
2012-10-09 02:29:39 PM

DieAchtung: Greenlight?... really?


It's an anti-Apple headline. It went green while Subby was still typing it.
 
2012-10-09 02:32:22 PM
Dear Subby,

I'm sure you know what this means.

24.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-10-09 02:34:35 PM
motores.com.py
 
2012-10-09 02:54:49 PM

jaylectricity: paulleah: You're trying to hard.

I didn't realize hard was a verb.


Totally a verb. Why, just last night, I harded your mom. See? Verb.

/She's much better at softing though
 
2012-10-09 03:07:08 PM

HatMadeOfAss: /She's much better at softing though


You would know.
 
2012-10-09 03:13:14 PM
You people are ruining a perfectly good "your mom" joke I lobbed over the plate.

//this is why we can't have nice things.
 
2012-10-09 03:17:51 PM

paulleah: You people are ruining a perfectly good "your mom" joke I lobbed over the plate.


No...we're making your lame grammar a better "your mom" joke. It's all good, man. Us comedians need inspiration!
 
2012-10-09 04:00:57 PM
http://games.adultswim.com/robot-unicorn-attack-twitchy-online-game.ht ml
 
2012-10-09 04:33:38 PM
That's BBSpot levels of terrible.
 
2012-10-09 05:18:56 PM
farm6.staticflickr.com
 
2012-10-09 06:57:35 PM
Do they have a complaints department? My Rainbow Crapping Unicorn's horn came loose and it's rainbow crap has this persistent brown streak where the purple color should be. To be honest only the first two droppings had anything reminiscent of color and in retrospect look like they were 'preloaded' into the animal. This caused constipation and led to an explosive bowel evacuation event only hours after the animal was delivered to my house. This cost me two whole days of venting and a cart full of wallpaper rolls and glue, not to mention the cleanup crew cost. Also there's a reason they don't mention the Rainbow Crap Smell in the ads, as it stinks to high heaven. When I contacted the people at the Genius bar I was told I was smelling it wrong or would have to get my nose checked out.

Flawed product. Would not buy again.
 
2012-10-09 07:31:26 PM

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: Well that sucked.

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 598x600]

Here's a nice picture that has an apple.


i36.photobucket.com
 
2012-10-09 07:44:38 PM

jaylectricity: paulleah: You people are ruining a perfectly good "your mom" joke I lobbed over the plate.

No...we're making your lame grammar a better "your mom" joke. It's all good, man. Us comedians need inspiration!


Har.

Actually the joke sucked. The grammar mistake was the best part.
 
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