Do you have to be drunk? That part seemed superfluous.

Gas stations fix flats?

So what's her Fark handle?

Worst headline ever.

until i saw the name, thought it was my ex-wife driving

mudpants: Gas stations fix flats?

If it's an old-timey gas/service place, I don't see why not...

svenge: mudpants: Gas stations fix flats?

If it's an old-timey gas/service place, I don't see why not...

"Fill up the gas, check the fluids, and fix that annoying flat for me.
Oh, and if you have a minute, put the fire out."

We made another turn and almost rolled again. The Coupe de Ville is not your ideal machine for high speed cornering in residential neighborhoods. The handling is very mushy ... unlike the Red Shark, which had responded very nicely to situations requiring the quick four-wheel drift. But the Whale -- instead of cutting loose at the critical moment -- had a tendency to dig in, which accounted for that sickening "here we go" sensation.

At first I thought it was only because the tires were soft, so I took it into the Texaco station next to the Flamingo and had the tires pumped up to fifty pounds each -- which alarmed the attendant, until I explained that these were "experimental" tires.

But fifty pounds each didn't help the cornering, so I went back a few hours later and told him I wanted to try seventy five. He shook his head nervously. "Not me," he said, handing me the air hose. "Here. They're your tires. You do it."

"What's wrong?" I asked. "You think they can't take seventy-five?"

He nodded, moving away as I stooped to deal with the left front. "You're damn right, he said. "Those tires want twenty-eight in the front and thirty-two in the rear. Hell, fifty's dangerous, but seventy-five is crazy. They'll explode!"

I shook my head and kept filling the left front. "I told you," I said. "Sandoz laboratories designed these tires. They're special. I could load them up to a hundred."

"God almighty!" he groaned. "Don't do that here."

"Not today," I replied. "I want to see how they corner with seventy-five."

He chuckled. "You won't even get to the corner, Mister."

"We'll see," I said, moving around to the rear with the airhose. In truth, I was nervous. The two front ones were tighter than snare drums; they felt like teak wood when I tapped on them with the rod. But what the hell? I thought. If they explode, so what? It's not often that a man gets a chance to run terminal experiments on a virgin Cadillac and four brand-new $80 tires. For all I knew, the thing might start cornering like a Lotus Elan. If not, all I had to do was call the VIP agency and have another one delivered ... maybe threaten them with a lawsuit because all four tires had exploded on me, while driving in heavy traffic. Demand an Eldorado, next time, with four Michelin Xs. And put it all on the card ... charge it to the St. Louis Browns.

As it turned out, the Whale behaved very nicely with the altered tire pressures. The ride was a trifle rough; I could feel every pebble on the highway, like being on roller skates in a gravel pit ... but the thing began cornering in a very stylish manner, very much like driving a motorcycle at top speed in a hard rain: one slip and ZANG, over the high side, cartwheeling across the landscape with your head in your hands.

-Hunter S. Thompson, "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas"

Gawdzila: "Following a series of field sobriety tests

Seriously? They needed more than one?

well I clicked the link thinking "there had better be video..."
and there is none so - 1 Fark

mudpants: Gas stations fix flats?

Sure, there's a 76 station near my house that does it. Practically any gas station with a car lift would probably do it.
It's a pretty simple procedure to plug a flat, they usually only charge about $15 bucks for it.

mudpants: Gas stations fix flats?



/obscure?

They don't even put the gas in and seem annoyed that I don't pay at the pump with a card. Where or when do you live?

Mom?

Bathia_Mapes: You're not allowed to pump your own gas in Oregon and New Jersey. The attendant has to do it for you. I don't know about New Jersey, but in Oregon it's been against the law to pump your own gas since 1951.

Is there some kinda training the attendants take? A gas pumping school? Can I clean my own windshield or does that require some other technology I could not possibly figure out on my own.

mudpants: Bathia_Mapes: You're not allowed to pump your own gas in Oregon and New Jersey. The attendant has to do it for you. I don't know about New Jersey, but in Oregon it's been against the law to pump your own gas since 1951.

Is there some kinda training the attendants take? A gas pumping school? Can I clean my own windshield or does that require some other technology I could not possibly figure out on my own.

I'm guessing it involves some sort of "join a union" training.

/similar to how the unions paid off the politicians so that all forms of public transportation ends 1 mile short of LAX.

//those taxis aren't going to pay for themselves, yah know.

///we clean your toilets!!!



////so corrupt, but at the same time, soooo stupid.

Not as funny, but this reminds me of an incident back when I was a kid. I was driving home from school, and at the gas station near my house I saw a paramedic smoking a cigarette while filling up his ambulance. Nothing ever came of it that I know of, but I still charge him with two counts of dumbassery. Three, if there was a patient inside at the time.

I worked at service stations a few times in my life and have seen all sorts of crazy shiat, including burning cars.

Investigation revealed that the customer at the station heard a grinding noise from the Rotary and saw a car on fire approaching with only rims on the right side. The gas station employee had a similar report on the incident.

Better turn off the pumps, Hap.

Would have gotten away with it. If only this guy was the gas station attendant

Crowley?

... and fix the cigarette lighter.

Chelsea Clinton Is Carrot Top's Lost Twin: mudpants: Bathia_Mapes: You're not allowed to pump your own gas in Oregon and New Jersey. The attendant has to do it for you. I don't know about New Jersey, but in Oregon it's been against the law to pump your own gas since 1951.

Is there some kinda training the attendants take? A gas pumping school? Can I clean my own windshield or does that require some other technology I could not possibly figure out on my own.

I'm guessing it involves some sort of "join a union" training.

/similar to how the unions paid off the politicians so that all forms of public transportation ends 1 mile short of LAX.

//those taxis aren't going to pay for themselves, yah know.

///we clean your toilets!!!

[www.samefacts.com image 640x590]

////so corrupt, but at the same time, soooo stupid.

Has nothing to do with unions and more to do with state laws requiring that only "properly trained and certified personnel" handle flammable material/ chemicals.

I have seen something like this in real life ... It is a thing of beauty - in a strange way


Driving night shift for a service company and me and my partner say lots of stuff ..

On the highway, coming home from a service call one night , my partner slaps my arm and says " we got one" and points a head at this blue Pontiac drifting slowly across the lanes toward the middle break-down lane and the guardrail, the driver asleep at the wheel .
Drifting ... slowly ..the car touches the guardrail ... Khserrrrssssrsrsr - A rooster tail of sparks fifty feet long shoot out, a "smoke trail" of dust / gravel from underneath the car , the car stays there grinding away a good three seconds . "The driver awoke with a jolt " I am guessing, (?) and snaps the wheel to the right , the car comes off the guardrail and into the passing lane, then he snaps the wheel back(!) to the left , right back on to the guardrail even harder Kserrrrrrrrrsrrsrrsr an even larger rooster tail of sparks and dust now accompanied by door handles and side car trim flying- off in to the night . The front head light bezel comes off and bounces off his windshield , this makes him bob and weave at the wheel an go off and back on to the guard rail a third time Khsssssrrr !! Finally bouncing off , over two lanes to the middle lane . We pass him -- on the left , the guy's face is so white it looks like its glowing in the darkness of the car interior.. ..
I said to my partner " He'll have a hard time explaining that to the wife " my partner says " Yeah especially the part where how the guy who ' sideswiped him' also managed to poop the drivers seat "

Good times

my partner say lots of stuff

....saw lots of stuff ... damn it !

mudpants: Bathia_Mapes: You're not allowed to pump your own gas in Oregon and New Jersey. The attendant has to do it for you. I don't know about New Jersey, but in Oregon it's been against the law to pump your own gas since 1951.

Is there some kinda training the attendants take? A gas pumping school? Can I clean my own windshield or does that require some other technology I could not possibly figure out on my own.

I have always wondered about this. I pump my own gas, and I don't see that changing just because I drive into the gas station twilight zone. Will they call the cops on you if you insist on doing it yourself?

Magic_Button: my partner say lots of stuff

....saw lots of stuff ... damn it !

Your entire post is nearly illegible, dude. You're worried about that?

YixilTesiphon: Magic_Button: my partner say lots of stuff

....saw lots of stuff ... damn it !

Your entire post is nearly illegible, dude. You're worried about that?

Do you want funny stories or do you want me to be like everyone else in this place and try ( and usually fail ) a witty single sentence pun and/ or meme ?

dbirchall: scruffy1: Has nothing to do with unions and more to do with state laws requiring that only "properly trained and certified personnel" handle flammable material/ chemicals.

Convenient side effect : jerbs!

(Admittedly ones where you get enough fumes to pretty much guarantee cancer.)

My wife comes from a developing country with a lot of rural poor who'll work for almost nothing, and is still adjusting to the idea that the US isn't overflowing with super-cheap labor eager to pump her gas, put air in her tires, clean the house, wash the dishes, do the laundry, etc.

/Instead, I get to do those things, in between my three jobs.
//Whipped? Me?

Geez - got an unmarried clone?

FTFA: A customer, a 45-year-old Hingham man, who was pumping gas and an employee

Some kind of kinky multi-tasking?