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(Entertainment Weekly)   Fifty Shades of Grey: The Movie will be written by one of the co-creators of Terra Nova   (insidemovies.ew.com) divider line 93
    More: Fail, the movie, Kelly Marcel, Focus Features, Mary Poppins, Universal Pictures, screenplays, fox tv, book series  
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1388 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 09 Oct 2012 at 4:22 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-10-08 11:53:10 PM
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-10-08 11:55:03 PM
So...masturbating dinosaurs?
 
2012-10-09 12:12:01 AM

olddeegee: So...masturbating dinosaurs?


One can only hope. I'd go see that movie.
 
2012-10-09 01:17:16 AM
Step 1: Get Emma Watson naked
Step 2: Hire the Rock
Step 3: ____________
 
2012-10-09 01:33:01 AM

TheManofPA: Step 1: Get Emma Watson naked
Step 2: Hire the Rock
Step 3: ____________


Find the original of that picture?
 
2012-10-09 01:39:06 AM

DanZero: [4.bp.blogspot.com image 420x294]


Shouldn't that be spanked?
 
2012-10-09 03:15:01 AM
Oh, please god, no. Please. That piece of shiat book is bad enough. *shudders*
 
2012-10-09 04:33:42 AM
Could even Rifftrax make that piece of crap watchable?
 
2012-10-09 04:39:19 AM

olddeegee: So...masturbating dinosaurs?


i.imgur.com
 
2012-10-09 04:52:18 AM
But will the pot head I knew in high school, turned scientologist vegan, get his retarded looking wife into the starring role with his basement level internet business? That's what I want to know.
 
2012-10-09 04:53:36 AM
Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson will be getting calls from their respective agents shortly....
 
2012-10-09 04:56:00 AM

Apos: Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson will be getting calls from their respective agents shortly....


Oops....Forgot to add "Oh crap!" at the beginning of my post.
 
2012-10-09 05:10:12 AM
The Rock should play the role of Grey.

Anyway... I would not see this movie, but it could work for the greater good if the studio suddenly grew balls, and paved the way for a return of NC-17 movies to the theatres.
 
2012-10-09 05:43:56 AM
Wasn't this already the plot of The Human Centipede?
 
2012-10-09 06:11:06 AM
Terra Nova had one of my favorite actors as a lead....................
and failed as a concept within 5 minutes of watcing the premier.
I couldn't enjoy any of it. Instead of going to a new life, they
just seemed like Beverly Hill-ites roughing it at a five star
resort. There was no true sense of danger, or that the people chosen
had any special reason to be there, or that they were glad to
escape the life in the future, or that they resented having to goto the past.
It just felt like they were extras and they didn't really inhabit
this little resort.

It felt too clean.

It felt like The Villlage of the new Prisoner,
except The Village had a point and the
dangers it represented were real.

By the time we got to the weed overgrown section of the
compound, I was ready to check out. That there was a hole
in the gate that the kids could slip through... I was out. That
the preview for the next episode appeared to show the lone
black kid dying, I was glad I was out.
 
2012-10-09 06:15:16 AM
Tim Curry, Susan Sarandon and make it a musical.
 
2012-10-09 06:27:40 AM

Cheron: Tim Curry, Susan Sarandon and make it a musical.


Gilbert Gottfried and Susan Boyle. Book it. Done.
 
mhd
2012-10-09 06:34:22 AM
Shia Laboeuf, Betty White.
 
2012-10-09 06:56:40 AM
And midddlingly stupid women get what they want: to give away their money.
 
2012-10-09 06:57:52 AM
The project just wants some credibility. For all we know, she's handing it onto an intern and lending her name to the project.

My guess on the cast is this: The two leads will be a couple of d-list skinemax actors, but they'll get a couple of b-list actors for the other parts, just to beef up the cast list. It'll get limited release in low season, just so it isn't classed as "not good enough for a cinema release" and then it'll jump straight to DVD with a massive marketing campaign before everyone realises it's a turkey.

This isn't the 80s, people. People won't pay good money to see clunge at the cinema. You can see it on the internet for free, or at worse, a few dollars for legal streaming.
 
2012-10-09 07:13:19 AM
Nicki Minaj, Sin with Sebastian.


/what??
 
2012-10-09 07:29:41 AM
Seeing as how the book really didn't have a plot to it, I'm kinda interested to see how a screenplay is gonna be made without alerting the Twilight lawyers. I get the feeling it's gonna be a very loose adaptation. I just hope they keep the bloody tampon pulling scene.
 
2012-10-09 07:41:41 AM
That's weird, yesterday I saw an elderly Muslim woman crossing the street and holding a copy of 50 Shades of Grey. Progress people, progress.
 
2012-10-09 07:59:22 AM
They're making it into a MOVIE!??

media.tumblr.com
 
2012-10-09 08:11:32 AM
Terra Nova, Christ. Even though Spielberg was just a producer on it, it still had to have his signature father vs son bullshiat on it. And why did the dinosaurs look shiattier than they did in 1993?
 
2012-10-09 08:22:55 AM
I audio-booked the first book. But couldn't bring myself to use my Audible credits for the second. None of the reviews suggested the writing got better.

I'm still in favor of anything that removes taboo from sex and light bondage.
 
2012-10-09 08:25:02 AM
If I wanted to see bondage set to video, I'd just watch one of my regular porns.
 
2012-10-09 08:55:12 AM
However, this is much more intriguing from the author:

and wrote the 2011 Black List script Saving Mr. Banks. Banks is currently in production and co-stars Tom Hanks as Walt Disney during the time when he was pursuing the film rights to the book Mary Poppins

With Emma Thompson as P.L. Travers at the moment, Colin Farrell playing her father (flashbacks, I presume, as Traver's father was a banker)...and BJ Novak and Jason Schwartzmann as the Sherman Brothers, a casting which intrigues the hell out of me.
 
2012-10-09 08:59:37 AM
"EW.com" indeed.
 
2012-10-09 09:12:10 AM
For anyone who hated this book, I'd highly recommend Anne Rice's Sleeping Beauty series. It's what this would be if, you know, the author could write.
 
2012-10-09 09:19:42 AM

padraig: The Rock should play the role of Grey.

Anyway... I would not see this movie, but it could work for the greater good if the studio suddenly grew balls, and paved the way for a return of NC-17 movies to the theatres.


soft core porn on the big screen in the mall. not a bad thing, but .. not sure that'll ever happen.
 
2012-10-09 09:22:46 AM

meanmutton: For anyone who hated this book, I'd highly recommend Anne Rice's Sleeping Beauty series. It's what this would be if, you know, the author could write.


i'd highly recommend it too, if i were still 25 and wearing a lot of black velvet, walking around in a foggy haze of my own fantasy life in between my community college classes or shifts at cinnabon.
 
2012-10-09 09:28:50 AM
Let's forget for a moment that the book and its sequels are the literary equivalents of a 3-day case of the liquid shiats.

How the hell is a movie based on that "book" (I have to put it in quotations or else I wouldn't be able to sleep at night classifying it as an actual book instead of an affront to intelligent literature) going to come close to justifying its source material? Either it's going to be watered down to the point of irrelevance in order to be marketable for a mass audience, or it's going to be so nauseatingly graphic that only true fans will go to see it, causing it to make barely enough money to break even.

And is Emma Watson seriously being considered for this movie? Really?? Is she so desperate to shed the memory of Hermione Granger that she'd poison her career? Pathetic.
 
2012-10-09 09:34:29 AM

AgtSmithReloaded: How the hell is a movie based on that "book" going to come close to justifying its source material?


Suffice to say, the consequences of failure do not concern me in the least.
 
2012-10-09 09:38:56 AM

dragonchild: AgtSmithReloaded: How the hell is a movie based on that "book" going to come close to justifying its source material?

Suffice to say, the consequences of failure do not concern me in the least.


You want your Emma Watson bloody tampon sex scene, don't ya?
 
2012-10-09 09:55:11 AM
I'd like to see this version of 50 Shades of Grey:
en.trailersmashine.com 
/very hot
 
2012-10-09 09:55:54 AM

Generation_D: meanmutton: For anyone who hated this book, I'd highly recommend Anne Rice's Sleeping Beauty series. It's what this would be if, you know, the author could write.

i'd highly recommend it too, if i were still 25 and wearing a lot of black velvet, walking around in a foggy haze of my own fantasy life in between my community college classes or shifts at cinnabon.


What, only people in their mid-20s like porn now?
 
2012-10-09 09:56:53 AM

AgtSmithReloaded:
And is Emma Watson seriously being considered for this movie? Really?? Is she so desperate to shed the memory of Hermione Granger that she'd poison her career? Pathetic.


Precisely.

Me, I'm waiting for Chloe Moritz to hit 18 and do a remake of the frankie and annette movies.
There's a gold mine that hasn' been properly regurgitated, yet.

Taking notes, Hollywood?
 
2012-10-09 09:59:40 AM
Red Shoe Diaries will always be the best.
 
2012-10-09 10:01:21 AM

AgtSmithReloaded: And is Emma Watson seriously being considered for this movie? Really?? Is she so desperate to shed the memory of Hermione Granger that she'd poison her career? Pathetic.


Totally killed Anne Hathaway's career going from Princess Diaries to overtly sexual roles involving nudity.
 
2012-10-09 10:10:26 AM

meanmutton: What, only people goths in their mid-20s like porn shiattily-written fantasy porn now?


Yes.

/my gf read maybe 2 chapters and had to put it down, it was so bad
//she's 26
///and not an annoying goth
 
2012-10-09 10:11:41 AM

meanmutton: For anyone who hated this book, I'd highly recommend Anne Rice's Sleeping Beauty series. It's what this would be if, you know, the author could write.


Used to work with an obnoxious chick. She was once of those college feminists, you know, fat.
And she was taking a long bus trip. And I found out her fave author was Rice.
But she knew nothing of the Beauty series. I also founf out she had nothing to read on her trip. I wrapped the book and gave it to her for the trip. All I told her was that it was a new one by Rice (I bought it new at Borders)
moohahahahaha.

FF 6 months. I'm walking down the street and see her coming and she crosses the street to avoid me.
Yeah, she read it.
 
2012-10-09 10:19:37 AM
Oh fark! This movie is going to be hilarious!

Oh shiat!
 
2012-10-09 10:23:36 AM
Oh god, shiatty fanfic turned shiatty book turned shiatty movie.

I think logic just died
 
2012-10-09 10:27:07 AM

padraig: The Rock should play the role of Grey.

Anyway... I would not see this movie, but it could work for the greater good if the studio suddenly grew balls, and paved the way for a return of NC-17 movies to the theatres.


It'll be pg-13. I guarantee it.
 
2012-10-09 10:29:31 AM

DanZero: [4.bp.blogspot.com image 420x294]


Shakespeare cribbed all his stuff from previous authors. The only reason you remember him as being so great is because he happened to be writing at a time when mass-media was just getting its start, and because he was the court playwright of the Tudors, who were pretty big innovators in the realm of PR. These two factors meant his stuff was recorded for posterity and continually performed under aristocratic patronage, while the stuff he was ripping off either disappeared, or was forgotten by the public.
 
2012-10-09 10:29:57 AM

Hollie Maea: It'll be pg-13. I guarantee it.


This is for the mom crowd, won't it be R?

Simple formula going forward for each summer is take someone mom's will enjoy (channing tatum or what ever) put them in a "scandalous" R-rated movie (magic mike), and step 3 profit to the tune of 100 million.
 
2012-10-09 10:32:10 AM

Cheron: Tim Curry, Susan Sarandon and make it a musical.


If this were 15-25 years ago, I'd be on board for that. Unfortunately it isn't. Yet another perfect example of why we can't invent and perfect faultless cloning fast enough.
 
2012-10-09 10:32:17 AM
He leaned in to me, and whispered, "Tell me how much you want my tongue inside your hot, wet pussy."

There, I just wrote better dialogue than you'll find in Fifty Shades of Grey. And don't forget to read that in Betty White's voice.
 
2012-10-09 10:42:12 AM

Cythraul: If I wanted to see bondage set to video, I'd just watch one of my regular porns.


Middle-aged moms aren't as secure in their porn-loving as you or I, or the author of 50 Shades for that matter seeing as it started out as a forum-bound fanfic. For them to indulge their desire for raunch safely, it's got to be gussied up and made respectable via large print runs of high-gloss paper backs and the occasional movie deal. If only some kind soul would point them to a decent system security program and a bookmark list of fanfic tumblrs and forum archives, they could get far hotter, better written, and more sex-and-gender-positive smuts in greater quantities, at a significantly lower price. Oh well.
 
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