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(Northwest News (Seattle))   Comcast would like to come in your house and talk, NOW   (nwcn.com) divider line 53
    More: Scary, Capitol Hill, Comcast, ZAHID ARAB  
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31386 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Oct 2012 at 5:57 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-10-08 06:05:55 PM
13 votes:
Absolutely disgusting. I hope someone deals with these homeowners. Comcast is aggressive about giving you world-class internet at low prices. Boo hoo. Deal with it. Corporations have more right to be in your house than you do.
2012-10-08 06:03:10 PM
11 votes:
Had a weird phone call a few minutes ago, some woman (sounded like she was Indian, dot not feather), and she tried to sell me something, I have no idea what it was as i couldn't understand her pagan dialect. Anywho...she droned on so I started making fapping sounds and moaning, wondering how long she would ignore me and continue her script. She lasted about 3 minutes or until i started moaning "oohhh ya...thats it...take it ...TAKE IT....!!! Then she hung up on me. Sighs. No love.
2012-10-08 06:43:59 PM
7 votes:

Whatthefark: The sound of a shotgun racking a shell is a great deterrent and can be heard through a door.


Shotguns really aren't all that loud when they're racking a shell, especially if some belligerent asshole is yelling at you and pounding on the door. There's no way to be sure they'll actually hear it over their own noise.

However, I've found that one sure attention-getter is the sound of a revving chainsaw followed by maniacal screams of 'will you love me like daddy did?'
2012-10-08 06:33:22 PM
7 votes:

BumpInTheNight: /Girlscouts taste nothing like their cookies


They taste like old Brownies.
2012-10-08 05:45:01 PM
7 votes:
I knew the day would come when the Comcast militia roamed the streets with impunity.
2012-10-08 07:20:02 PM
6 votes:

Mr. Lepage: I just can't imagine what it must be like to have to keep a shotgun by the front door.


Maybe you live or have lived in a place where it rains often, and it's advisable to keep an umbrellar at the door. It's like that, only instead of rain, it's a semi-constant stream of folks that need killing.
2012-10-08 06:04:04 PM
6 votes:
be careful, they have been raping me once a month for the past 10 years
2012-10-08 06:21:06 PM
5 votes:
CSB:

I like to invite them in, knock them out with chloroform and keep them in the dungeon under my basement for a few years and play games like how many finger nails can you live without or how many paper cuts before you bleed to death. Then I eat them and parade around in their skin like some sort of bunny suit.

/Girlscouts taste nothing like their cookies
2012-10-08 06:16:15 PM
5 votes:
CSB time

One time someone came by selling magazines and they were acting obnoxious at the door. So I invited them in to give their pitch but asked them very sweetly "I'm in the middle of something do you mind if I keep at it?" And they said ok no problem. So they started their spiel and I ignored him and proceeded to open up a case and start cleaning a gun. Then the salesdude hesitated said "uh should I come back later?" and I said "Nah its cool, I'm going to be done in a minute." Then he just let himself out without saying anything.
2012-10-08 06:54:03 PM
4 votes:
Sounds like the worst porno ever.
2012-10-08 06:27:37 PM
4 votes:

pseydtonne: Did anyone else notice the 1880 comments below the article, none of which seem to relate to it nor each other? It's like reading the news in an ADD person's voice. Fark.



FTFY
2012-10-08 06:19:45 PM
4 votes:
But did they fix the cable?
2012-10-08 06:11:11 PM
4 votes:
I bet they didn't even have a 27B/6
2012-10-08 03:24:20 PM
4 votes:
3.bp.blogspot.com

/obscure?
2012-10-08 08:43:08 PM
3 votes:

Ika7734:

Maybe I'm taking the bait...
Slingbox is a device you put in your house. It transcodes the tv signal into a webpage type deal. You have to setup your internet router to allow inbound traffic to the sling box, then you can watch your tv shows like watching stuff on youtube, but the resolution should be better.


some folks call it a slingbox. I call it a kaiserbox mmmmhmmm.
2012-10-08 03:16:35 PM
3 votes:
"It was just a lot of adrenaline at the time," said Valerie Bauman.

Two workers showed up to Bauman's Capitol Hill apartment Friday night.

"They said they were contractors for Comcast and had the authority to be there and showed me this card and I mean, I've got a deck of cards, I can pull out the queen but I'm not royalty," she said.

They eventually left, but came back.

"One of them smiled at me and said, 'Are the police on their way ma'am?'" said Bauman.


"oh dear, I certainly hope not" I replied. "it's always so tiresome having that felony rape/murder charge on one's record. totally false accusation, I'll have you know. And that cannibalism thing? well that was just made up rumors! so - would you like to come in for tea? it's not like anyone knows who you are or cares where you are, right?"

[cue wide grin]

"The time has come," the Walrus said,
"To talk of many things:
Of shoes--and ships--and sealing-wax--
Of cabbages--and kings--
And why the sea is boiling hot--
And whether pigs have wings."
2012-10-08 06:54:21 PM
2 votes:
I just buy whatever they are selling and then they leave.
2012-10-08 06:39:19 PM
2 votes:

WeenerGord: How about pepper spray? can you use pepper spray? Maybe have a nozzle mounted beside the front door?


HAHAHA! What a mental image...

*KNock knock* *DING DONG!*

"Open up! You need to buy this!"

*FSSSHSHSHHHHHHH*

"AHHHHHHHHHH!"
2012-10-08 06:37:27 PM
2 votes:
How about pepper spray? can you use pepper spray? Maybe have a nozzle mounted beside the front door?
2012-10-08 06:10:50 PM
2 votes:
Really stupid idea on their part. I don't typically answer my door if someone is banging on it and yelling through it, but I am standing on the other side of it with this.

csgbenefits.org
2012-10-08 06:02:56 PM
2 votes:
If anyone witnesses unacceptable behavior from any door to door sales person representing Comcast, we encourage you to call 1-800-EAT-SH*T

/Kramer approved
2012-10-08 05:00:20 PM
2 votes:
Since you never know if someone at your door is who they say are, if you go around pounding on peoples' doors shouting something as suspicious as "COMCAST, OPEN UP" eventually you are going to be facing down an armed homeowner.

It would be pretty amusing to watch one of these guys trying to give his sales pitch while staring down the barrel of a .44.
2012-10-08 03:39:02 PM
2 votes:
Isn't Washington a "Stand-Your-Ground" state?
2012-10-09 03:11:21 AM
1 votes:

zenferret: iheartscotch: / a gun is a tool; like a screwdriver; they both have perfectly peaceful, legitimate uses. If used improperly; they can both kill people.

And when all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.


Lucky for me I have a gun, a hammer, an axe, knives, sticks, a kitchen ninja, dremmel tool, cast iron pan, a big stupid dog, a little stupid dog, avs an oversize pillow. I'm good for any possible threat that might come to my door
2012-10-08 11:56:19 PM
1 votes:

Yogimus: udhq: Yogimus: : udhq:

Maybe it's because of perspectives like this that your peers consider you a pussy>

I feel for you, man, I had an uncle who's balls didn't drop until he was well in his forties. Don't give up hope!

When they finally did drop... was he gentle? Or did you have to take the lead?


Aaaaaand, in a surprise to absolutely no one, the ITG in a "gun-as-dick-substitute" thread goes straight to the homoerotica.

You know, I'm sure you've heard this a thousand times before, but your life will be much better once you stop hating yourself for having these feelings.
2012-10-08 10:39:24 PM
1 votes:
i182.photobucket.com

The last time a solicitor came knocking on my door, I answered with this still sweetheart riding on my shoulder. The big, burly salesman (and possible part-time Hell's Angel), nearly killed himself fleeing back down the front steps. Didn't even have time to tell me what company he worked for. There was a logo on his shirt, but I never saw it clearly.
2012-10-08 10:38:53 PM
1 votes:

Mr. Lepage: CthulhuCalling: ex-nuke: Mr. Lepage: I just can't imagine what it must be like to have to keep a shotgun by the front door.

I keep either my Springfield XDm or my 1911 either on me or within arm's reach at all times. The pistols are for fighting my way to my Mossberg that I probably should have put in a more accessible place.

Where do you live, Afghanistan?


Fabulous Las Vegas. Just finished cleaning the Mossberg. Put a couple hundred shells through it since last cleaning.

I wish my wife was that dirty.
2012-10-08 10:38:28 PM
1 votes:

Bit'O'Gristle: Had a weird phone call a few minutes ago, some woman (sounded like she was Indian, dot not feather), and she tried to sell me something, I have no idea what it was as i couldn't understand her pagan dialect. Anywho...she droned on so I started making fapping sounds and moaning, wondering how long she would ignore me and continue her script. She lasted about 3 minutes or until i started moaning "oohhh ya...thats it...take it ...TAKE IT....!!! Then she hung up on me. Sighs. No love.


That is hilarious! I'm gonna have to try it sometime but I'm a chick, so if it's a guy calling he'll probably like it. :-/

Well, at worst, I'll make some poor telemarketer's day better.
2012-10-08 09:12:51 PM
1 votes:

udhq: Has anybody yet considered that maybe the reason so many people around the world hate Americans is because we're a ghoulish people who respond to the mild inconvenience of pushy sales people with gruesome murder fantasies?

I'm sorry, but I'm just not going to treat this thread like it's normal.


I'm going to throw my $.02 in here...

We keep a shotgun near the door, but it's not the "go to" when it comes to pushy salesmen. I have dogs. The sight of a 95 pound German Shepherd showing off his pearly whites usually causes temporary paralysis in the sales person. This gives our dumpy little Bassett Hound a chance to move in, drool on their pant legs, and in one marvelous instance, piddle on their shoes.

They never come back for some reason...
2012-10-08 09:00:09 PM
1 votes:

zenferret: iheartscotch: / a gun is a tool; like a screwdriver; they both have perfectly peaceful, legitimate uses. If used improperly; they can both kill people.

And when all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.



When you have a big enough hammer, everything IS a nail.
2012-10-08 08:51:03 PM
1 votes:

Plant Rights Activist:

some folks call it a slingbox. I call it a kaiserbox mmmmhmmm.


www.hipstercrite.com

I reckon I find your comment a might bit funny mmmmhmmmm.
2012-10-08 07:45:01 PM
1 votes:

big pig peaches: WeenerGord: How about pepper spray? can you use pepper spray? Maybe have a nozzle mounted beside the front door?

I just hooked it up to the door bell to save time.


I like the cut of your jib.
2012-10-08 07:33:07 PM
1 votes:

WeenerGord: How about pepper spray? can you use pepper spray? Maybe have a nozzle mounted beside the front door?


I just hooked it up to the door bell to save time.
2012-10-08 07:26:55 PM
1 votes:

Vodka Zombie: Isn't Washington a "Stand-Your-Ground" state?


Washintgon is wide-stance state.
2012-10-08 07:25:50 PM
1 votes:

Fissile: Showing off guns and talking tough, like the good little Romney voters you all really are. Since I used to belong to the NRA, and I attended a few guns shows, I know that most of you are really frightened little punks.

Besides, I don't know what you are all complaining about. This is the kind of business deregulation you morons are looking forward to. It's not like these guys are from the government, so STFU already.


^ Loser of the thread (possibly many other things as well)
2012-10-08 07:24:27 PM
1 votes:

Mr. Lepage: I just can't imagine what it must be like to have to keep a shotgun by the front door.


That's the only thing what saved Pa Ingals when the bear got into the barn. They ate bear all winter.
2012-10-08 07:21:00 PM
1 votes:

Mr. Lepage: I just can't imagine what it must be like to have to keep a shotgun by the front door.


Without one the umbrella stand tends to look rather naked.
2012-10-08 07:19:16 PM
1 votes:
We aaaaaallll bundle.
2012-10-08 07:18:52 PM
1 votes:

udhq: Has anybody yet considered that maybe the reason so many people around the world hate Americans is because we're a ghoulish people who respond to the mild inconvenience of pushy sales people with gruesome murder fantasies?

I'm sorry, but I'm just not going to treat this thread like it's normal.


Oh man, you should've seen it the last time the JW's dared to knock on my door. Heh, I didn't even let them finish the first sentence. I... get this, I said, "No thank you," in a firm tone, and then, and then I closed the door right in their face! I mean, there they were on my doorstep, talking to me, and then blam, a closed door! Hah, it was so epic, you shoulda been there!

Oh yeah, I'm a badass.
2012-10-08 07:02:40 PM
1 votes:
www.imfdb.org

"Yes, I see you through the peep hole, and no I don't want to bundle."
2012-10-08 06:53:51 PM
1 votes:
Has anybody yet considered that maybe the reason so many people around the world hate Americans is because we're a ghoulish people who respond to the mild inconvenience of pushy sales people with gruesome murder fantasies?

I'm sorry, but I'm just not going to treat this thread like it's normal.
2012-10-08 06:42:21 PM
1 votes:
Think those people are intimidated? I've had Brian Urlacher in my living room during every game broadcast this weekend thanks to Comcast. I have a dream that for one ad the people at the cookout tell him to slag and kills, cooks and eats every last one of them.
2012-10-08 06:32:49 PM
1 votes:

95629: Really stupid idea on their part. I don't typically answer my door if someone is banging on it and yelling through it, but I am standing on the other side of it with this.

[csgbenefits.org image 629x382]


Few things will force a person to question their commitment faster than the sound of one of these being prepped for action.
2012-10-08 06:23:52 PM
1 votes:
Did anyone else notice the 1880 comments below the article, none of which seem to relate to it nor each other? It's like reading the news in an ADD person's voice.
2012-10-08 06:20:13 PM
1 votes:

KidneyStone: I have signs on my mailbox and front porch that say 'no solicitors,' which gives me a legal leg to stand on when I ask them to leave. They never leave the first time they are asked. I also keep a shotgun by the front door and if they don't leave the first time I ask I hold the shotgun at a loose sort of parade rest and say "I asked you nicely and am asking you nicely again. I'm also letting you know that since you ignored two signs that say no solicitors that you are trespassing and illegally on my property. I strongly urge you to get off my property or my next request will be impolite."

/Not really but I do keep a loaded shotgun near me when I'm home due to a batshiat crazy ex-husband of a coworker (that I was never involved with)
//Pistol when out of the home


I see a fark headline there.
Solicitor killed by KidneyStone.
2012-10-08 06:19:14 PM
1 votes:
www.legaljuice.com
Did I stutter?

Waiting for the "shots fired" and "Comcast employee shot" articles to complete the trifecta.
2012-10-08 06:15:42 PM
1 votes:
"One of them smiled at me and said, 'Are the police on their way ma'am?'"

Paranoid schizophrenia can sure change a situation.

In both cases, the workers pounded on doors, spoke in unfriendly tones and were unwilling to take no for an answer.

i141.photobucket.com
2012-10-08 06:11:49 PM
1 votes:

Pelvic Splanchnic Ganglion: Mike_LowELL: Absolutely disgusting. I hope someone deals with these homeowners. Comcast is aggressive about giving you world-class internet at low prices. Boo hoo. Deal with it. Corporations have more right to be in your house than you do.

1/10.


Your sarcasm meter. It be broke.
2012-10-08 06:11:40 PM
1 votes:
My two large German dogs would not approve.
2012-10-08 06:03:57 PM
1 votes:
First they came from Comcast, and I said nothing...
2012-10-08 06:02:53 PM
1 votes:
I'd like you to meet my best friend. His name is Mr. Remington.
2012-10-08 05:59:38 PM
1 votes:
About six weeks ago I threw a Comcast technician out of my house.
2012-10-08 04:23:42 PM
1 votes:
I liked the Comcast triple play ad that showed up next to the article.
 
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