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(Northwest News (Seattle))   Comcast would like to come in your house and talk, NOW   (nwcn.com) divider line 321
    More: Scary, Capitol Hill, Comcast, ZAHID ARAB  
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31389 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Oct 2012 at 5:57 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-10-08 06:20:13 PM

KidneyStone: I have signs on my mailbox and front porch that say 'no solicitors,' which gives me a legal leg to stand on when I ask them to leave. They never leave the first time they are asked. I also keep a shotgun by the front door and if they don't leave the first time I ask I hold the shotgun at a loose sort of parade rest and say "I asked you nicely and am asking you nicely again. I'm also letting you know that since you ignored two signs that say no solicitors that you are trespassing and illegally on my property. I strongly urge you to get off my property or my next request will be impolite."

/Not really but I do keep a loaded shotgun near me when I'm home due to a batshiat crazy ex-husband of a coworker (that I was never involved with)
//Pistol when out of the home


I see a fark headline there.
Solicitor killed by KidneyStone.
 
2012-10-08 06:20:22 PM
If I come home and my wife tells me that the cable guy came around unexpectedly, I fully expect the conversation to be proceeded by me asking why there is a puddle of urine at the doorstep and the shotgun is out in plain view.
...
She can forget to put her toys away sometimes.
 
2012-10-08 06:21:06 PM
CSB:

I like to invite them in, knock them out with chloroform and keep them in the dungeon under my basement for a few years and play games like how many finger nails can you live without or how many paper cuts before you bleed to death. Then I eat them and parade around in their skin like some sort of bunny suit.

/Girlscouts taste nothing like their cookies
 
2012-10-08 06:22:48 PM

dahmers love zombie: Yeah, I'll see your "right to be here" and raise you two Shepherds and a .357.

Is it just me, or has the economy bred a seriously aggressive bunch of saleshumans?


Eh, no. They've always been around, but have traditionally held jobs at companies that cater to business sales. I've worked in IT management for 15 years and I'm continually amazed at the desperate tactics employed by a good majority of the sales teams hawking everything from hardware to professional services. The higher the contract or sales orders, the crazier it gets. I've been solicited on the premise of "Buy Product X from me and enjoy guaranteed dinners at (insert fancy restaurant) every month as well as complimentary swag for your entire team, or don't and enjoy your name going on an informal black list that guarantees you the worst pricing from vendors in this industry for the foreseeable future, plus we'll keep calling you until you hand over your firstborn."

My guess is the group of non-performing salespeople from these places found lesser paying jobs at companies like Comcast, hate life, hate people in general, and are going to sell whatever products and services they have with a vengeance.
 
2012-10-08 06:23:27 PM
I dealt with several of these contract people over the course of about two weeks, one particular day, they came to my door 3 times (different people each time) about upgrading my comcast service. I called comcast, told them if one more of those people came to my door ever again, I would cancel my service and switch to centurylink... magically enough, they all stopped coming.
 
2012-10-08 06:23:52 PM
Did anyone else notice the 1880 comments below the article, none of which seem to relate to it nor each other? It's like reading the news in an ADD person's voice.
 
2012-10-08 06:24:03 PM

KidneyStone: I have signs on my mailbox and front porch that say 'no solicitors,' which gives me a legal leg to stand on when I ask them to leave.


Unless your state is doing it wrong, you asking them to leave is enough. If they refuse, they're trespassing. No need for signs. Especially since there's no place in the country where you can just shoot first and claim, "But there was a sign!" (unless they're already inside)
 
2012-10-08 06:24:51 PM
"You know what you can't watch on Dish? The Walking Dead. Which is what you WILL BE, if you don't buy some cable over heah! Badda-bing!"
 
2012-10-08 06:25:32 PM

Dr. Quasius: Pelvic Splanchnic Ganglion: Mike_LowELL: Absolutely disgusting. I hope someone deals with these homeowners. Comcast is aggressive about giving you world-class internet at low prices. Boo hoo. Deal with it. Corporations have more right to be in your house than you do.

1/10.

He's joking, not trolling.


Who said he was trolling? I think that was you, not me who said that.
 
2012-10-08 06:26:21 PM
And WOW, more ITG "I keep a gun by the front door, let's see them negotiate with Smith and Wesson HURR HURR" comments that I thought possible in the first 50 posts. Nice job, Fark.
 
2012-10-08 06:27:02 PM
This really did just tip right over into a castle doctrine fantasy thread, didn't it.
 
2012-10-08 06:27:37 PM

pseydtonne: Did anyone else notice the 1880 comments below the article, none of which seem to relate to it nor each other? It's like reading the news in an ADD person's voice. Fark.



FTFY
 
2012-10-08 06:27:37 PM

Sun Khan: He didn't have any ID and had only a metal clipboard with a fake PECO (the default electric utility hereabouts) bill attached, and he kept insisting on coming inside.


Ugh... A friend of mine just got through unraveling a whole mess of expensive bullshiat created after "official" power reps paid a visit to his elderly mother.

Seriously, what kind of sociopath do you have to be to consider this a way to make a living?
 
2012-10-08 06:28:18 PM

LeroyBourne: bim1154: Just dumped Comcast t.v. last week. Enough was enough of crap t.v. and high bills.

It sucks at first, but after a while you'll wish you did it earlier.


I've been wanting to do it for a while now, but the wife loves all that shiat. I barely even watch tv anymore.
 
2012-10-08 06:28:43 PM

valkore: And WOW, more ITG "I keep a gun by the front door, let's see them negotiate with Smith and Wesson HURR HURR" comments that I thought possible in the first 50 posts. Nice job, Fark.


The fact is. Most of them are telling the truth.
 
2012-10-08 06:29:02 PM

dletter: "They said they were contractors for Comcast and had the authority to be there and showed me this card and I mean, I've got a deck of cards, I can pull out the queen but I'm not royalty," she said.

I like that line.

What I don't understand is this...

They say the company told them since the salesmen were contract workers, it's hard to pinpoint who they are.

So, was the salespeople trying to sell people to get Comcast (although, you'd think Comcast would give them a list of houses WITHOUT Comcast already), or people there to fix something? If they are just salespeople, WTF is with the "I've got authority to be here" line... GTF off my porch you do. I mean, even with a repair person they don't, but, at least you requested them, or maybe they are claiming that Comcast sent them proactively to fix a problem. Who the hell thinks as a salesperson you have the right to be anywhere?


Basically, the cold-call to the door thing is done by contracting a company, who sub contracts about 50 times to someone who's willing to work for pure rage and baked beans, with the occasional rape and broken glass. These people then cover a unit area as best they can, and get no payment unless they sell about 500 times the number of products they possibly could. So unless someone has kept excrutiating notes on who worked what area when, and actually has some evidence that people obeyed those assignments, there's no way to prove these guys ever existed.
 
2012-10-08 06:29:55 PM

BumpInTheNight: CSB:

I like to invite them in, knock them out with chloroform and keep them in the dungeon under my basement for a few years and play games like how many finger nails can you live without or how many paper cuts before you bleed to death. Then I eat them and parade around in their skin like some sort of bunny suit.

/Girlscouts taste nothing like their cookies


I want to party with you!
 
2012-10-08 06:31:51 PM

Plant Rights Activist: I bet they didn't even have a 27B/6


Damn you! We'll be back!
 
2012-10-08 06:32:36 PM

valkore: And WOW, more ITG "I keep a gun by the front door, let's see them negotiate with Smith and Wesson HURR HURR" comments that I thought possible in the first 50 posts. Nice job, Fark.


So, you have a story about people trying to forcibly enter homes and threatening homeowners and for some reason the guy with the gun is the one who gets your derision and mocking? Nice. I bet you blame the rape victim, too, don't you? She was just asking for it?
 
2012-10-08 06:32:49 PM

95629: Really stupid idea on their part. I don't typically answer my door if someone is banging on it and yelling through it, but I am standing on the other side of it with this.

[csgbenefits.org image 629x382]


Few things will force a person to question their commitment faster than the sound of one of these being prepped for action.
 
2012-10-08 06:33:22 PM

BumpInTheNight: /Girlscouts taste nothing like their cookies


They taste like old Brownies.
 
2012-10-08 06:35:56 PM

Whatthefark: The sound of a shotgun racking a shell is a great deterrent and can be heard through a door.


Never had to do that, but I do believe that's the universal language for 'And we're done here.'
 
2012-10-08 06:35:59 PM
p.twimg.com
 
2012-10-08 06:37:12 PM

hutchkc: Whatthefark: The sound of a shotgun racking a shell is a great deterrent and can be heard through a door.

Never had to do that, but I do believe that's the universal language for 'And we're done here.'


^-- THIS

There are shotguns out there called "Streetsweepers" for a reason. You don't fark with a guy that has a shotgun because if it is pointed in your general direction and he has loaded buckshot (which is more than likely), he isn't going to miss.
 
2012-10-08 06:37:27 PM
How about pepper spray? can you use pepper spray? Maybe have a nozzle mounted beside the front door?
 
2012-10-08 06:38:37 PM

Sun Khan: I had this treatment in the Philadelphia area, not with Comcast, but with people wanting me to switch energy providers. The first idiot came to my door on Easter Sunday and wouldn't take no for an answer. He didn't have any ID and had only a metal clipboard with a fake PECO (the default electric utility hereabouts) bill attached, and he kept insisting on coming inside. Since then, their stormtroopers have been by several other times.

You can't help but feel they're either there to case the inside of your house or overpower you once they get in the door. Disturbing as hell.


Oh FARK those guys!! They suck!!

I am RUDE to door-to-door salespeople.
 
2012-10-08 06:38:56 PM
They never would have got past the dog.
 
2012-10-08 06:39:19 PM

WeenerGord: How about pepper spray? can you use pepper spray? Maybe have a nozzle mounted beside the front door?


HAHAHA! What a mental image...

*KNock knock* *DING DONG!*

"Open up! You need to buy this!"

*FSSSHSHSHHHHHHH*

"AHHHHHHHHHH!"
 
2012-10-08 06:40:12 PM

bim1154: LeroyBourne: bim1154: Just dumped Comcast t.v. last week. Enough was enough of crap t.v. and high bills.

It sucks at first, but after a while you'll wish you did it earlier.

I've been wanting to do it for a while now, but the wife loves all that shiat. I barely even watch tv anymore.


We fired comcast when Centurylink gave us a deal for faster pipe + cheaper. And I got the sales guy to agree on my contract that I'm not bound by their 250GB/mo cap. Everything comes from torrents now.

cron + a PHP parser for Torrentday's RSS feed + Transmission-daemon + PS3 media streamer = never needing cable TV again.
 
2012-10-08 06:40:46 PM

ScotterOtter: In before the gun nuts want to shoot them...oops, too late


Sometimes I wonder if all they want is just a chance to shoot someone. Would make a CSB though.
 
2012-10-08 06:41:45 PM

bim1154: LeroyBourne: bim1154: Just dumped Comcast t.v. last week. Enough was enough of crap t.v. and high bills.

It sucks at first, but after a while you'll wish you did it earlier.

I've been wanting to do it for a while now, but the wife loves all that shiat. I barely even watch tv anymore.


Tell her, 'you'll get over it.' ;)
 
2012-10-08 06:41:58 PM

Pelvic Splanchnic Ganglion: valkore: And WOW, more ITG "I keep a gun by the front door, let's see them negotiate with Smith and Wesson HURR HURR" comments that I thought possible in the first 50 posts. Nice job, Fark.

So, you have a story about people trying to forcibly enter homes and threatening homeowners and for some reason the guy with the gun is the one who gets your derision and mocking? Nice. I bet you blame the rape victim, too, don't you? She was just asking for it?


You must have not got the memo; guns are bad and anyone who has ever touch a gun is bad too.

/ a gun is a tool; like a screwdriver; they both have perfectly peaceful, legitimate uses. If used improperly; they can both kill people.
 
2012-10-08 06:42:21 PM
Think those people are intimidated? I've had Brian Urlacher in my living room during every game broadcast this weekend thanks to Comcast. I have a dream that for one ad the people at the cookout tell him to slag and kills, cooks and eats every last one of them.
 
2012-10-08 06:43:50 PM

superdave386: ScotterOtter: In before the gun nuts want to shoot them...oops, too late

Sometimes I wonder if all they want is just a chance to shoot someone. Would make a CSB though.



When the gulf war started, a guy in class told us that the only reason his brother was joining the military was because he wanted to see what it felt like to kill someone.
 
2012-10-08 06:43:59 PM

Whatthefark: The sound of a shotgun racking a shell is a great deterrent and can be heard through a door.


Shotguns really aren't all that loud when they're racking a shell, especially if some belligerent asshole is yelling at you and pounding on the door. There's no way to be sure they'll actually hear it over their own noise.

However, I've found that one sure attention-getter is the sound of a revving chainsaw followed by maniacal screams of 'will you love me like daddy did?'
 
2012-10-08 06:44:20 PM

beakerxf: dletter: "They said they were contractors for Comcast and had the authority to be there and showed me this card and I mean, I've got a deck of cards, I can pull out the queen but I'm not royalty," she said.

I like that line.

What I don't understand is this...

They say the company told them since the salesmen were contract workers, it's hard to pinpoint who they are.

So, was the salespeople trying to sell people to get Comcast (although, you'd think Comcast would give them a list of houses WITHOUT Comcast already), or people there to fix something? If they are just salespeople, WTF is with the "I've got authority to be here" line... GTF off my porch you do. I mean, even with a repair person they don't, but, at least you requested them, or maybe they are claiming that Comcast sent them proactively to fix a problem. Who the hell thinks as a salesperson you have the right to be anywhere?

I have Comcast internet, but not cable. So I'm constantly getting their salesmen at my door trying to get me to sign up for bundling. One day, when I was at work, they talked to my roommate. She said that the guy claimed that there was a problem with my cable box and they were delivering a replacement. He handed it to her and asked her to sign the paperwork. He had my name as the account holder and wrote "home-owner not present, but gave consent for [roomate] to sign."

Even though I immediately returned the box, it took a couple of tries to get the charges off my bill.

Unfortunately, they're the only broadband ISP in my area, so I'm stuck with them.


Damned capitalists....

Oh, wait, it's a government-enforced monopoly.....

Damned corporate socialists.....
 
2012-10-08 06:45:53 PM
My wife signed up for uVerse after a door to door salesweasle came to the door.

After turning off my phone and cutting the cables on my DirecTv, they found out that I am several thousand feet too far into the neighborhood. So the installers just left.
 
2012-10-08 06:46:08 PM
You know, just because someone knocks on your door, that doesn't mean you have to answer it. That's what peepholes are for.

I thought door-to-door salesmen had gone the way of the rotary phone. Guess not.
 
2012-10-08 06:47:41 PM

LeroyBourne: bim1154: LeroyBourne: bim1154: Just dumped Comcast t.v. last week. Enough was enough of crap t.v. and high bills.

It sucks at first, but after a while you'll wish you did it earlier.

I've been wanting to do it for a while now, but the wife loves all that shiat. I barely even watch tv anymore.

Tell her, 'you'll get over it.' ;)


Her girlfriend gave her 3 volumes of 50 Shades of Grey. It'll hold her for a while and make it easier to withdraw.
 
2012-10-08 06:48:07 PM

valkore: And WOW, more ITG "I keep a gun by the front door, let's see them negotiate with Smith and Wesson HURR HURR" comments that I thought possible in the first 50 posts. Nice job, Fark.


amazing how many gun toting pussies there are on fark, huh? too bad they do nothing about crime or scumbag politicians.
 
2012-10-08 06:49:50 PM

bim1154: Just dumped Comcast t.v. last week. Enough was enough of crap t.v. and high bills.


Just did the same! Netflix, Hulu, and HD antenna take the edge off my fix
 
2012-10-08 06:50:54 PM

Smelly Pirate Hooker: You know, just because someone knocks on your door, that doesn't mean you have to answer it. That's what peepholes are for.


No, you must grab your shotgun, swing open the door, pose like Ahnuld in Commando, and do your best Clint Eastwood impression when you ask "Got something for me, punk?" This is the only way to answer your door when strangers are threatening to break inside.
 
2012-10-08 06:51:47 PM

Smelly Pirate Hooker: You know, just because someone knocks on your door, that doesn't mean you have to answer it. That's what peepholes are for..


Exactly

/did door to door sales for 5 days....i can only have a gun shown to me so many times, fark that.
 
2012-10-08 06:53:09 PM

toraque: Whatthefark: The sound of a shotgun racking a shell is a great deterrent and can be heard through a door.

Shotguns really aren't all that loud when they're racking a shell, especially if some belligerent asshole is yelling at you and pounding on the door. There's no way to be sure they'll actually hear it over their own noise.

However, I've found that one sure attention-getter is the sound of a revving chainsaw followed by maniacal screams of 'will you love me like daddy did?'


The chainsaw is a cute touch but if you really want to get their attention and make them run away like my dad did right before I was born it takes something like my pet t-rex's roar to really do the trick. Yep I just kick him square in the balls and The Compensator there lets out one baaad-ass hollar. He never attacks me though because he knows my 11th belt judo will ruin him, same with my shotgun eyes.
 
2012-10-08 06:53:51 PM
Has anybody yet considered that maybe the reason so many people around the world hate Americans is because we're a ghoulish people who respond to the mild inconvenience of pushy sales people with gruesome murder fantasies?

I'm sorry, but I'm just not going to treat this thread like it's normal.
 
2012-10-08 06:54:03 PM
Sounds like the worst porno ever.
 
2012-10-08 06:54:10 PM

Plant Rights Activist: I bet they didn't even have a 27B/6


I'm a bit of a stickler for paperwork.
 
2012-10-08 06:54:21 PM
I just buy whatever they are selling and then they leave.
 
2012-10-08 06:56:15 PM

WeenerGord: superdave386: ScotterOtter: In before the gun nuts want to shoot them...oops, too late

Sometimes I wonder if all they want is just a chance to shoot someone. Would make a CSB though.


When the gulf war started, a guy in class told us that the only reason his brother was joining the military was because he wanted to see what it felt like to kill someone.



Back when I had just started basic, the drill sergeant asked everyone why they had joined, and one guy said exactly that. He spent a lot of time as a squad leader during those 9 weeks. Got a lot more respect than the guys who said they joined for college money.
 
2012-10-08 06:56:58 PM

DarthBart: cron + a PHP parser for Torrentday's RSS feed + Transmission-daemon + PS3 media streamer = never needing cable TV again.


I had simplified my service down to just internet, too. Then the Comcast "contractor" showed up at my door with a list of every midget tranny porn site that I'd been to in the last three quarters. URL, where and when.

I now subscribe to everything they have.

I'm thinking that it's time to cut my losses. After the divorce (cheaper by at least 37%, according to my calculations) I'm going to sign up for a goddam proxy service.
 
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