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(Cracked)   Since some of us like to go that extra mile in video games, here are six awesome but pointless achievements in video games   (cracked.com) divider line 185
    More: Cool, accomplishments, classic games, big red button  
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16429 clicks; posted to Geek » on 08 Oct 2012 at 6:23 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-10-08 02:02:42 PM
How could they make this list and not mention a certain gnome many of us are way too familiar with?
 
2012-10-08 03:46:37 PM

TwoHead: How could they make this list and not mention a certain gnome many of us are way too familiar with?


Shut up, you!
 
2012-10-08 04:21:07 PM
please. Try the ambulance missions on San Andreas!

And lets not forget the guy who played Eve Online for years just to back stab one of the most powerful players.
 
2012-10-08 04:26:12 PM
All I know is I hated Ozma in FF9. Never did beat that farktwat
 
2012-10-08 04:39:21 PM
That Skyrim video was badass.
 
2012-10-08 04:40:05 PM
Flipping Galaga is completely missing.
 
2012-10-08 04:40:49 PM

The Stealth Hippopotamus: please. Try the ambulance missions on San Andreas!

And lets not forget the guy who played Eve Online for years just to back stab one of the most powerful players.


I remember reading that. He worked for an assasins organization right? Started at the bottom of the evil megacorp ladder, worked his way to second-in-command, then killed the CEO and stole/destroyed all of his shiat.

That's funny stuff because you know the CEO had worked even longer building that empire.
 
2012-10-08 05:04:31 PM

scottydoesntknow: I remember reading that. He worked for an assasins organization right? Started at the bottom of the evil megacorp ladder, worked his way to second-in-command, then killed the CEO and stole/destroyed all of his shiat.

That's funny stuff because you know the CEO had worked even longer building that empire


Something like that. The best part is that he started the game with that mission in mind. He didnt get bored one day and decide that he wanted to nuke everything. Every day he logged on with the goal of ending this guy.

That's the awesome part
 
2012-10-08 05:07:36 PM

UberDave: Flipping Galaga Defender is completely missing.

 
2012-10-08 05:27:18 PM
And here I thought that collecting all 100 Gold Skulltulas in LoZ:OoT was one of the most pointless achievements in video games.
 
2012-10-08 05:44:18 PM
LIST FAILS WITHOUT [insert game here]!!!
 
2012-10-08 05:46:23 PM
What's even trippier is that other people have created little versions of Minecraft that you can play inside Minecraft.

Yo dawg, I heard you like Minecraft...
 
2012-10-08 05:55:01 PM
That article made me laugh harder than it had any right to.
 
2012-10-08 06:05:53 PM

The Stealth Hippopotamus: scottydoesntknow: I remember reading that. He worked for an assasins organization right? Started at the bottom of the evil megacorp ladder, worked his way to second-in-command, then killed the CEO and stole/destroyed all of his shiat.

That's funny stuff because you know the CEO had worked even longer building that empire

Something like that. The best part is that he started the game with that mission in mind. He didnt get bored one day and decide that he wanted to nuke everything. Every day he logged on with the goal of ending this guy.

That's the awesome part


I want to read about this any links?
 
2012-10-08 06:17:31 PM
If anyone ever played that Pitfall for Windows 95, there was a door you could go into that let you play the original Pitfall, complete with original graphics. That was fun. Never beat the game, though.
 
2012-10-08 06:22:46 PM

NickelP: The Stealth Hippopotamus: scottydoesntknow: I remember reading that. He worked for an assasins organization right? Started at the bottom of the evil megacorp ladder, worked his way to second-in-command, then killed the CEO and stole/destroyed all of his shiat.

That's funny stuff because you know the CEO had worked even longer building that empire

Something like that. The best part is that he started the game with that mission in mind. He didnt get bored one day and decide that he wanted to nuke everything. Every day he logged on with the goal of ending this guy.

That's the awesome part

I want to read about this any links?


Here ya go.
 
2012-10-08 06:35:01 PM
farm4.static.flickr.com
 
2012-10-08 06:39:39 PM
From personal experience, while ones in the article are harder than these, but I'll also these platinum trophies from my PS3 trophy card. GTA4 takes a mindbogglingly amount of monotonous time to achieve, while Catherine just made me want to throw my controller across the room (which I did with shattery results)

i643.photobucket.com 

/Thank heavens I've stopped caring about trophies
 
2012-10-08 06:43:26 PM
I'll just leave this here.

WoW Ironman
 
2012-10-08 06:44:17 PM
Beating Final Fantasy with four white mages.
 
2012-10-08 06:46:11 PM

Creoena: From personal experience, while ones in the article are harder than these, but I'll also these platinum trophies from my PS3 trophy card. GTA4 takes a mindbogglingly amount of monotonous time to achieve, while Catherine just made me want to throw my controller across the room (which I did with shattery results)

[i643.photobucket.com image 622x766] 

/Thank heavens I've stopped caring about trophies


Gears of War 3: Seriously 3.0 Achievement

-Reach Lvl 100 in Multiplayer
-Get 6,000 kills with EACH of the main weapons (totals 36,000 kills)
-Execute 6,000 enemies (including 500 nemeses)
-Take 1,500 enemy leaders captive
-Participate in 30 GoW events
-Be MVP in multiplayer matches 500 times

And that's just what I felt like typing, there's like 20 other requirements

/All for an awesome 100 gamer points
 
2012-10-08 06:58:12 PM

Frozboz: I'll just leave this here.

WoW Ironman


i'm doing that with a warrior. it's not easy.

you never realize how many really critical tools are buried in the specializations until you don't have access to them.
 
2012-10-08 07:00:22 PM

scottydoesntknow: NickelP: The Stealth Hippopotamus: scottydoesntknow: I remember reading that. He worked for an assasins organization right? Started at the bottom of the evil megacorp ladder, worked his way to second-in-command, then killed the CEO and stole/destroyed all of his shiat.

That's funny stuff because you know the CEO had worked even longer building that empire

Something like that. The best part is that he started the game with that mission in mind. He didnt get bored one day and decide that he wanted to nuke everything. Every day he logged on with the goal of ending this guy.

That's the awesome part

I want to read about this any links?

Here ya go.


Ah yes, Guiding Hand. EVE Online is not a winnable game, but those guys won EVE Online.
 
2012-10-08 07:05:14 PM
I actually kinda want to try the bare-fisted Skyrim thing now. Is there an option for a handlebar mustache?
 
2012-10-08 07:08:10 PM

Arachnophobe: I actually kinda want to try the bare-fisted Skyrim thing now. Is there an option for a handlebar mustache?


I did bare-fisted Skyrim for a little while with my kitty-cat (they get a damage bonus from their claws). It got boring after a while, though. Now I just snipe f*ckers in the back with my bow.
 
2012-10-08 07:10:56 PM

Dr.Fey: And here I thought that collecting all 100 Gold Skulltulas in LoZ:OoT was one of the most pointless achievements in video games.


What? At least you had unlimited money. *snort*
 
2012-10-08 07:11:34 PM
I once beat a tank to death with a health pack in the original Left4Dead. I thought that was pretty sweet.
 
2012-10-08 07:13:52 PM

Fano: Dr.Fey: And here I thought that collecting all 100 Gold Skulltulas in LoZ:OoT was one of the most pointless achievements in video games.

What? At least you had unlimited money. *snort*


I mean, compare it to finding all the flags in Assassin's Creed one, where A)it was impossible unless you used a game guide and ticked them off as you found them (with no map, so help you god if you started after you had found a couple) and B) you didn't get anything for it
 
2012-10-08 07:16:04 PM

The Stealth Hippopotamus: please. Try the ambulance missions on San Andreas!

And lets not forget the guy who played Eve Online for years just to back stab one of the most powerful players.


The trick for those missions in SA was to do them when you were out in the hillbilly area, so the maps were too small.

Now all the racing/flying ones were a total waste of time.
 
2012-10-08 07:16:33 PM

TwoHead: How could they make this list and not mention a certain gnome many of us are way too familiar with?


Thread over with Gnome Chompski.
 
2012-10-08 07:18:53 PM
My most amazing vidgame achievement:

2 reverse aerial somersaults in a tank in GTA Vice City.
 
2012-10-08 07:21:18 PM
In the Fire Emblem games, I unlocked the conversation between Ike and Soren by completing a series of seemingly random acts spread over two games.
I was proud of myself.
 
2012-10-08 07:22:12 PM
Honorable Mention: Fansy the Bard
http://www.notacult.com/fansythefamou s.htm
 
2012-10-08 07:24:34 PM
No, I'm pretty sure that dropping your ROM onto an emulator and using its save states and slow motion to recreate the fastest game possible, using any glitch or trick necessary to do so, is the most pointless activity you could do.

And, of course, there's an internet site for that.
 
2012-10-08 07:25:06 PM
none of those were actual achievements
 
2012-10-08 07:25:38 PM
I figured out how to beat Riddle of the Sphinx for Atari

/nah not really
//what the fark was the point of that game?
 
2012-10-08 07:25:48 PM
I don't do grind type achievements unless either

1) The grinding is really low (especially if it's something that becomes crazy easy at higher levels).
2) The game is so fun that it doesn't feel like a grind.

Otherwise, fark that, laziness beats OCD and I have other games I need to get through.

EX: To get the "Grudge O'War" achievement in Burnout Revenge required a lot of hours of racing/battling with the SAME PERSON. Especially if you did it the legit way and didn't just take turns to cheat the achievement.

On the flip side, after you beat prototype (and even more so, prototype 2), you get to start a new game while retaining all of your powers. And let's just say that finishing all of the side missions and all of the other achievement type stuff is fairly easy with a fully powered up dude.
 
2012-10-08 07:27:01 PM
One particular grind that I despise is "find X of Y"

In short, fark you Assassins Creed and your damn flags.
 
2012-10-08 07:28:56 PM
FTA: Call of Duty player appropriately named "only use knife" who has, according to the game's creators themselves, 30,000 knife kills in the fourth game alone.

I watched the video and HOLY SHIAT. How the hell does he throw the damn thing across half the map and kill those people?!?! Throwing a knife/axe thru a window to kill a sniper in the middle of the room?!?!
 
2012-10-08 07:28:57 PM
Halo's Rube Goldberg machine videos are pretty time-wastingly sweet.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dy41aNV6ngw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DOyVItYNdFE
 
2012-10-08 07:31:51 PM

Creoena: From personal experience, while ones in the article are harder than these, but I'll also these platinum trophies from my PS3 trophy card. GTA4 takes a mindbogglingly amount of monotonous time to achieve, while Catherine just made me want to throw my controller across the room (which I did with shattery results)

[i643.photobucket.com image 622x766] 

/Thank heavens I've stopped caring about trophies


Catherine has got to be one of the most unforgiving modern games I've played.
 
2012-10-08 07:38:28 PM
 
2012-10-08 07:39:03 PM

buttery_shame_cave: Frozboz: I'll just leave this here.

WoW Ironman

i'm doing that with a warrior. it's not easy.

you never realize how many really critical tools are buried in the specializations until you don't have access to them.


I made it to level 67 twice so far, both warriors. It's crazy - especially post-panda-patch. Good luck to you :)
 
2012-10-08 07:44:17 PM

Gunny Highway: Beating Final Fantasy with four white mages.


I heard that was easier than solo black belt.

I think i spent enough time reloading the final dungeon to avoid instadeath bad luck that I could have had four level fifty white mages.
 
2012-10-08 07:45:55 PM

Precious Roy's Horse Dividers: I figured out how to beat Riddle of the Sphinx for Atari

/nah not really
//what the fark was the point of that game?


Woah! I thought I was one of the few to have been stymied by that game as a kid, and I didn't think either Raiders or E.T. were difficult. I had no idea until I read a gamefaq someone put together for it. I could figure out how to survive but never how to solve.

Enjoy, chum, and you've been favorited as "someone who played Riddle of the Sphinx."
 
2012-10-08 07:49:54 PM
One of my biggest waste of time achievements that I've ever seen on a video game...okay, not just one:

1) The guy I knew who one a N64 racing video game, I forget which one it was, but you could customize the car's paint job. He spent about a day putting the autobot insignia on one car, and the decepticon insignia on the other. The kicker was that this game could only hold one car per memory stick, and he only had one, so to make that car a decepticon, he had to delete the autobot.

2) Same friend, Final Fantasy 6, maxed out all characters giving them everything possible. Then deleted the game and started again when I pointed out that the vanish/doom glitch isn't the way to go against Deathgaze because you don't get the esper that he keeps in his mouth and drops upon his death.
 
2012-10-08 07:50:50 PM

Precious Roy's Horse Dividers: This must have been frustrating as well


Especially having the Miller Lite Player of the Game come up in the middle of gameplay...
 
2012-10-08 07:51:08 PM
i.ytimg.com

/hot
//many many hours back back then
 
2012-10-08 07:55:49 PM
That takes Obsessive Compulsive Disorder to an entirely new level.

I can't imagine the single-mindedness it takes for a person to do this -- in a GAME. I can grasp the obsession of folks who did things like build the famous Coral Castle in Florida -- at least that's real and anyone can walk up and touch it. (Google it if you don't know the story.)

Then again, I can't imagine such gamers exactly having anything close to normal social lives.
 
2012-10-08 07:55:52 PM

lordargent: One particular grind that I despise is "find X of Y"

In short, fark you Assassins Creed and your damn flags.


Caveat: Hooray for developers that let you mark the gotten ones on the map. I know the PSP GTAs were great about that - It sure sucked looking for things not knowing if you missed hidden items from missions or in the course of your pre-guide playthrough. I had a GTA:SA where I did everything else, but there was one oyster I simply couldn't find. I gave up after checking every location with guide in hand.

In fact, I'll admit that I play most games these days with a walkthrough because I'm not replaying the game because I missed a chance at the sword of Ultimate Doom (at the end of the game) because I didn't talk to a missable peasant before the item collection quest was apparent.
 
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