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(Daily Mail)   Next generation of body scanners will be able to read to the molecular level. And small enough to be installed almost anywhere. Feel safe, citizen?   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 71
    More: Scary, college freshmen, In-Q-Tel, organic matter, Department of Homeland Security  
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5031 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Oct 2012 at 9:57 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-10-07 06:44:12 AM
New generation of hyperbole laden halfassed headlines will actually be lame BEFORE THEY'RE EVEN WRITTEN! Feel smart now, subby?
 
2012-10-07 07:02:21 AM
Yes fearmongeringmitter, the gov't is tapping into your brain with body scanners.
 
2012-10-07 07:09:04 AM
Does this mean middle aged women such as myself can simply go on a vacation and have a fancy shmancy mammogram within a picosecond at the same time? I'd be OK with a two-fer in that case. If not - quit ogling my molecules, perverts.
 
2012-10-07 09:31:15 AM
Oh man, I can only imagine what horrible things the government could do with information about my molecules! I can only imagine it, because I have no knowledge or experience with molecular scanning and therefore I must rely on my imagination to tell me what it's all about. And let me tell you, brother, it's some pretty scary shiat!
 
2012-10-07 10:02:47 AM
Horseshiat.

/NGRTFA
 
GBB
2012-10-07 10:06:25 AM
Sir, step through the scanner.
*beep beep*
Sir, can you stand over here for a second?
Sure.
The Doctor will see you in a minute.
Doctor??
 
2012-10-07 10:07:17 AM

GBB: Sir, step through the scanner.
*beep beep*
Sir, can you stand over here for a second?
Sure.
The Doctor will see you in a minute.
Doctor??


Doctor WHO?
 
GBB
2012-10-07 10:07:50 AM

Real Women Drink Akvavit: Does this mean middle aged women such as myself can simply go on a vacation and have a fancy shmancy mammogram within a picosecond at the same time? I'd be OK with a two-fer in that case. If not - quit ogling my molecules, perverts.


Your mouth is saying "no", but your covalent electrons are saying "yes"
 
2012-10-07 10:08:23 AM
this shyt again? didn't we do this?

i758.photobucket.com
 
2012-10-07 10:09:56 AM

Son of Thunder: GBB: Sir, step through the scanner.
*beep beep*
Sir, can you stand over here for a second?
Sure.
The Doctor will see you in a minute.
Doctor??

Doctor WHO?


Win.
 
2012-10-07 10:10:26 AM
It's horseshiat, or we'd have it in radiologic oncology already.

/my BS meter is pegged in the red.
//it's nothing more than a laser-based chemical sniffer
 
2012-10-07 10:13:32 AM

MassAsster: this shyt again? didn't we do this?


It's what we do. We recycle the same handful of discussions over and over.

* The merits of one religion over others
* Which beer is best
* Children are annoying on airplanes and should be sedated at all times.
* Bicyclists are douchebags. No wait, drivers are.
* Barack Obama is a terrible/awesome president
* Sarah Jessica Parker has sharp knees and horse teeth
* etc...
 
2012-10-07 10:17:59 AM

Fuggin Bizzy: MassAsster: this shyt again? didn't we do this?

It's what we do. We recycle the same handful of discussions over and over.

* The merits of one religion over others
* Which beer is best
* Children are annoying on airplanes and should be sedated at all times.
* Bicyclists are douchebags. No wait, drivers are.
* Barack Obama is a terrible/awesome president
* Sarah Jessica Parker has sharp knees and horse teeth
* etc...


yes, very true, but most often they vary slightly...

This doesn't - its even the same pictures of the device... Like its ground hogs day and I'm the only one that noticed!

Its.... its.... awww forget it.... carry on people...
 
2012-10-07 10:19:18 AM

Vertdang: It's horseshiat, or we'd have it in radiologic oncology already.

/my BS meter is pegged in the red.
//it's nothing more than a laser-based chemical sniffer


Which does have it's uses.
 
2012-10-07 10:20:36 AM
This thread brought to you by Carl's Jr.
 
2012-10-07 10:23:13 AM
Oh noes! Technology is advancing and things won't be like they were before! I, for one, am panicking.
 
2012-10-07 10:25:13 AM
Wow. I haven't seen that much concentrated soft science since last watching star trek. It's not that bad, actually, since I'm pretty sure each individual component could work with certain circumstances, but putting them together would not work as fast or accurately as the writer seems to believe. Then of course, we have the vaguery of "detection lasers," etc. and we basically come out the other end of this article with the mass effect omni-tool: not gonna happen, and even if (when?) it does, security scanning won't be the first implementation. Then of course we quickly hit legal issues and big brother problems, and something like this would probably give rise to a massive privacy movement that makes the devices more illegal than a half ton of cocaine, and the project's primary use turns out to be self-defeating. All told, this is made up.
 
2012-10-07 10:29:34 AM
Get back to me when we have tricorders.
 
2012-10-07 10:39:16 AM

The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves: This thread brought to you by Carl's Jr.


How I feel about people like you:

imgs.xkcd.com
 
2012-10-07 10:39:36 AM
Meh, I still always "opt out" -- if they want inconvenience & good theater, so be it -- manual searches are better theater and more inconvenient for everyone.
 
2012-10-07 10:41:09 AM

BronyMedic: The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves: This thread brought to you by Carl's Jr.

How I feel about people like you:

[imgs.xkcd.com image 729x520]


I feel that way about people that post that XKCD comic. Is that meta?
 
2012-10-07 10:42:01 AM
HA! I knew I was only some what crazy...

http://gizmodo.com/5923980/
http://www.fark.com/comments/7205500/New-hidden-airport-security-scan n ers-will-know-what-you-had-for-breakfast-from-50-meters-away-Literally -They-can-also-know-if-you-have-any-trace-of-drugs-gunpowder-your-adre nalin-level
 
2012-10-07 10:47:17 AM

BronyMedic: The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves: This thread brought to you by Carl's Jr.

How I feel about people like you:

[imgs.xkcd.com image 729x520]


Cute, but that little cartoon is BS. Evolution works over the timeframe of millenia (hundreds or thousands of generations), whereas the author is clearly worried more about groups like the Nazis who existed may 2 or 3 generations ago.

Even Idiocracy, with it's premise of rapid decline, used a 500-year time horizon. ...so, while XKCD may have occasional "hits" of insightful comedy, it's also got its share of misses.

/also, at one point in our evolution, intelligence must have been selected for or we would never have developed such a trait in the first place & would still be more like the other apes (especially since large brains are biologically "expensive"; they use a *lot* of energy)
 
2012-10-07 10:48:15 AM
Good. This is a good technology.
 
2012-10-07 10:48:50 AM
"Citizen, we need to talk about your diet. Your arterial sodium compositions is well outside 2 standard deviations in a normalized societal sample."
 
2012-10-07 10:48:59 AM

doglover: New generation of hyperbole laden halfassed headlines will actually be lame BEFORE THEY'RE EVEN WRITTEN! Feel smart now, subby?


Everybody and everything is STUPID!
 
2012-10-07 10:49:34 AM

Greil: Wow. I haven't seen that much concentrated soft science since last watching star trek. It's not that bad, actually, since I'm pretty sure each individual component could work with certain circumstances, but putting them together would not work as fast or accurately as the writer seems to believe. Then of course, we have the vaguery of "detection lasers," etc. and we basically come out the other end of this article with the mass effect omni-tool: not gonna happen, and even if (when?) it does, security scanning won't be the first implementation. Then of course we quickly hit legal issues and big brother problems, and something like this would probably give rise to a massive privacy movement that makes the devices more illegal than a half ton of cocaine, and the project's primary use turns out to be self-defeating. All told, this is made up.


Majik Box! is magic!

/and, i am sure, cheap w/ no profiteering built in
 
2012-10-07 10:49:58 AM
Well, while the Daily Mail commenters are soiling their pantaloons over the latest Gov't genital exposing cancer ray, here's the Genia Photonics product site for people who want to know how it really works.

Some of the more legitimate freakouts concern the average power level of 1 Watt. I'm assuming it's sweeping the beam pretty fast if it's trying to get your whole body, but there's probably going to be one knucklehead who sticks his face into the aperture to see if it's on....
 
2012-10-07 10:51:20 AM
Dogs still smell better.

/what grammar?
 
2012-10-07 10:52:25 AM

Prussian_Roulette: Well, while the Daily Mail commenters are soiling their pantaloons over the latest Gov't genital exposing cancer ray, here's the Genia Photonics product site for people who want to know how it really works.

Some of the more legitimate freakouts concern the average power level of 1 Watt. I'm assuming it's sweeping the beam pretty fast if it's trying to get your whole body, but there's probably going to be one knucklehead who sticks his face into the aperture to see if it's on....


Here, hold my beer and watch this,,,
 
2012-10-07 10:52:50 AM
Next generation of body scanners will be able to read to the molecular level. And small enough to be installed almost anywhere. Feel safe, citizen?

And you will still have to take of your shoes
 
2012-10-07 10:55:25 AM

Fuggin Bizzy: MassAsster:

this shyt again? didn't we do this?

It's what we do. We recycle the same handful of discussions over and over.

* The merits of one religion over others


If you must believe in the Judeo-Christian-Islamic deity the Jewish sect called Karaism is obviously superior because the Talmud is codswallop.


* Which beer is best

Porter, preferably Dark Star Porter from the Bluegrass Bewing Company in Louisville, KY.


* Children are annoying on airplanes and should be sedated at all times.

No no no. Children should be sedated at all times when they're not learning or performing clever tricks.


* Bicyclists are douchebags. No wait, drivers are.

In many cities it's common to see people riding bicycles on the sidewalk, which often inconveniences those of us who remember what our feet are for. However cyclists often must do this because it's unsafe to ride in the street: I myself have been forced off the road while cycling many times, most often through heedlessness, though sometimes intentionally. Some drivers even yell things like "Stay off the road!" as they try to kill you. (Another reason why I support a loose interpretation of "stand your ground": pedestrians or bicyclists should be encouraged to deliver on-the-spot euthanasia to drivers who do this shiat, either on their own behalf or that of our fellows.)

In such situations a polite and caring person step out of the way of a sidewalk bicyclist, showing that her life is worth your momentary inconvenience.


* Barack Obama is a terrible/awesome president

Barack Obama is a scum-sucker who during the 2008 election cycle lied to those of us who are not right-extremist wingnuts in order to get elected and then set out to do exactly the popposite of what he'd promised. He is not even liberal, let alone progressive or socialist, unless Richard Nixon deserved those labels too.


* Sarah Jessica Parker has sharp knees and horse teeth

Who is she?


* etc...

Ayup. There's more where they came from: I got a mighty big brain.
 
2012-10-07 10:59:23 AM
jshine:

Meh, I still always "opt out" -- if they want inconvenience & good theater, so be it -- manual searches are better theater and more inconvenient for everyone.

I like manual searches because it's fun to watch them struggle with disgust as they pat me down.
 
2012-10-07 11:00:48 AM

Lernaeus: doglover:

New generation of hyperbole laden halfassed headlines will actually be lame BEFORE THEY'RE EVEN WRITTEN! Feel smart now, subby?

Everybody and everything is STUPID!


Including US!
 
2012-10-07 11:18:01 AM
"The laser scanners will be ten million faster than existing security scanning technology"

Faster than a speeding potato!
Able to leap logic in a single bound!
It's a turd!
It's a pain!
It's DAILYMAIL! 

/ article is ten million dumber
 
2012-10-07 11:21:43 AM

jshine: Even Idiocracy, with it's premise of rapid decline,


Hmmm.
 
2012-10-07 11:25:14 AM
Call me when they get this one worked out

www.pajiba.com
 
2012-10-07 11:27:02 AM
Can it detect Gigli DVDs?
 
2012-10-07 11:33:10 AM

Prussian_Roulette: Well, while the Daily Mail commenters are soiling their pantaloons over the latest Gov't genital exposing cancer ray, here's the Genia Photonics product site for people who want to know how it really works.

Some of the more legitimate freakouts concern the average power level of 1 Watt. I'm assuming it's sweeping the beam pretty fast if it's trying to get your whole body, but there's probably going to be one knucklehead who sticks his face into the aperture to see if it's on....


Came here to say this.

It's too strong for general use. Sure, they could point it at a crowd and scan, but it'll probably be "You've been randomly selected, please place your pants and shoes in the super scanner."
 
2012-10-07 11:33:32 AM

Dave and the Mission: Call me when they get this one worked out

[www.pajiba.com image 550x336]


mojoimage.com

hrminion.com

/Don't drive angry!
 
2012-10-07 11:37:23 AM

MJMaloney187: Good. This is a good technology.


Depends on the application.

My company also develops photonics and spectroscopic instruments. Went to the moon. Went to Mars. I'm pleased that our upper muckety-mucks have no interest in this sort of thing. Using technology for discovery, education and improving life's quality is always a good thing. Using it to pad the pockets of government contractors (there's over 30,000 of them these days) - not so much.

Photonics and general spectroscopy can be used in so many ways - telling if fruit is ripe, if wine grapes are suitable, if cancer cells exist in tissue, lifespan of certain biological subjects, if there is lead in paint samples or other subjects, sweetness or tartness of food subjects, etc., etc..

There's plenty of money to be made doing cool shiat. This shiat here is rather creepy and you taxpayers will end up footing the bill.

A resounding 'feh'.
 
2012-10-07 11:38:49 AM
Is Michael Chertoff anywhere near this boondogle?
 
2012-10-07 11:42:28 AM

Quantum Apostrophe: jshine: Even Idiocracy, with it's premise of rapid decline,

Hmmm.


I doubt there was ever a point in human history when people typed with flawless grammar and punctuation, though -- who knows -- I could be wrong.
 
2012-10-07 11:53:33 AM

jshine: Quantum Apostrophe: jshine: Even Idiocracy, with it's premise of rapid decline,

Hmmm.

I doubt there was ever a point in human history when people typed with flawless grammar and punctuation, though -- who knows -- I could be wrong.


Yes, the dreaded apostrophe is beyond the ken of most mortals.
 
2012-10-07 12:08:29 PM

Quantum Apostrophe: jshine: Quantum Apostrophe: jshine: Even Idiocracy, with it's premise of rapid decline,

Hmmm.

I doubt there was ever a point in human history when people typed with flawless grammar and punctuation, though -- who knows -- I could be wrong.

Yes, the dreaded apostrophe is beyond the ken of most mortals.


If I cared enough about perfect punctuation on Fark, it would be trivial. In situations where perfection matters (e.g., in my thesis), yes, I check punctuation more carefully. ...but if you read that post and your only comment was that I mistyped "its" as "it's", then you truly have nothing substantive to add to the conversation.
 
2012-10-07 12:15:07 PM

jshine: Quantum Apostrophe: jshine: Quantum Apostrophe: jshine: Even Idiocracy, with it's premise of rapid decline,

Hmmm.

I doubt there was ever a point in human history when people typed with flawless grammar and punctuation, though -- who knows -- I could be wrong.

Yes, the dreaded apostrophe is beyond the ken of most mortals.

If I cared enough about perfect punctuation on Fark, it would be trivial. In situations where perfection matters (e.g., in my thesis), yes, I check punctuation more carefully. ...but if you read that post and your only comment was that I mistyped "its" as "it's", then you truly have nothing substantive to add to the conversation.


So this is a substantive discussion but you don't think it deserves your full attention, so why should I give it my full attention?
 
2012-10-07 12:20:58 PM

The One True TheDavid: Barack Obama is a scum-sucker who during the 2008 election cycle lied to those of us who are not right-extremist wingnuts in order to get elected and then set out to do exactly the popposite of what he'd promised. He is not even liberal, let alone progressive or socialist, unless Richard Nixon deserved those labels too.


/qft
 
2012-10-07 12:22:19 PM
I want to know what they're looking for.

Nephilim resurrections is my guess. Lots of'em over at PMSNBC. Don't want those bastids lose without close supervision.
 
2012-10-07 12:24:33 PM

GBB: Sir, step through the scanner.
*beep beep*
Sir, can you stand over here for a second?
Sure.
The Doctor will see you in a minute.
Doctor??


"No, i'm TSA, she doctor"
 
2012-10-07 12:29:48 PM
Owen Reece nods in approval.
 
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