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(Yahoo)   Mormon church lowers minimum age requirements for missionary position   (news.yahoo.com) divider line 51
    More: Interesting, minimum age, missionary positions, Missionary Executive Council, Joseph Smith, Book of Mormon, Sister Wives, missionary  
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9638 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Oct 2012 at 8:14 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-10-07 08:17:05 AM
It's actually been years since those idiots came around here... I wonder why.
 
2012-10-07 08:17:12 AM
To what?? Twelve??
 
2012-10-07 08:18:01 AM
It really didn't make sense to have it at 19 in the first place. Kids graduating from high school know everything, so they're perfect vehicles to send the Word of God out into the world.

Better to use them for this before they realize what a waste of time it is.
 
2012-10-07 08:27:25 AM
Men mature much faster than women which is why they have to wait longer.
 
2012-10-07 08:30:49 AM
Who cares? The internet is going to bring about the downfall of that cult. Beliefs in handshakes to get into heaven, magic underwear and non-existent lost civilizations as told by a serial womanizer and con-man all look silly when a little bit of research reveals the truth. The only thing that organization has going for it is it's not as bad as the Scientologists.
 
2012-10-07 08:32:50 AM
They should probably lower the maximum age too because your mom ain't gettin' any younger
 
2012-10-07 08:35:42 AM

SaintAnky: Who cares? The internet is going to bring about the downfall of that cult. Beliefs in handshakes to get into heaven, magic underwear and non-existent lost civilizations as told by a serial womanizer and con-man all look silly when a little bit of research reveals the truth. The only thing that organization has going for it is it's not as bad as the Scientologists.


All things being equal, the things Mormons believe aren't all that odd compared to ANY other brand of religion. You're cherry-picking some oddities but, trust me, there are oddities in every denomination of Christianity and in every branch of Judaism/Islam as well. (and they don't think the underwear is actually magical, they just see it as a sacred reminder of promises they've made to God)
 
2012-10-07 08:40:11 AM

SquiggsIN: SaintAnky: Who cares? The internet is going to bring about the downfall of that cult. Beliefs in handshakes to get into heaven, magic underwear and non-existent lost civilizations as told by a serial womanizer and con-man all look silly when a little bit of research reveals the truth. The only thing that organization has going for it is it's not as bad as the Scientologists.

All things being equal, the things Mormons believe aren't all that odd compared to ANY other brand of religion. You're cherry-picking some oddities but, trust me, there are oddities in every denomination of Christianity and in every branch of Judaism/Islam as well. (and they don't think the underwear is actually magical, they just see it as a sacred reminder of promises they've made to God)


I have had the misfortune of attending many a mormon sacrement service. Among the rank and file there is a belief that those things have superspecial powers - I don't know how many times you would hear some buffoon get up in fast & testimony or sunday school and talk about how in some plane crash/car wreck/bee attack everyone got killed except for the undie wearers. The church might not officially sanction such talk but they have no problem with the rank &file spreading their delusions.
 
2012-10-07 08:50:24 AM

SaintAnky: SquiggsIN: SaintAnky: Who cares? The internet is going to bring about the downfall of that cult. Beliefs in handshakes to get into heaven, magic underwear and non-existent lost civilizations as told by a serial womanizer and con-man all look silly when a little bit of research reveals the truth. The only thing that organization has going for it is it's not as bad as the Scientologists.

All things being equal, the things Mormons believe aren't all that odd compared to ANY other brand of religion. You're cherry-picking some oddities but, trust me, there are oddities in every denomination of Christianity and in every branch of Judaism/Islam as well. (and they don't think the underwear is actually magical, they just see it as a sacred reminder of promises they've made to God)

I have had the misfortune of attending many a mormon sacrement service. Among the rank and file there is a belief that those things have superspecial powers - I don't know how many times you would hear some buffoon get up in fast & testimony or sunday school and talk about how in some plane crash/car wreck/bee attack everyone got killed except for the undie wearers. The church might not officially sanction such talk but they have no problem with the rank &file spreading their delusions.


That doesn't mean they think the garments protected them. This is splitting hairs but, they believe their covenant with God (symbolized by the garments) protected them. It's not the same thing.
 
2012-10-07 09:04:10 AM

SaintAnky: Who cares? The internet is going to bring about the downfall of that cult. Beliefs in handshakes to get into heaven, magic underwear and non-existent lost civilizations as told by a serial womanizer and con-man all look silly when a little bit of research reveals the truth. The only thing that organization has going for it is it's not as bad as the Scientologists.


And mainstream Christians believe that a virgin woman had a child (somehow genetically different from herself) who could perform feats that defy all laws of physics, including turning one substance into another, and who died and later came back to life. There may be lost civilizations on our planet. But rising from the dead? That's a whole different level of idiocy. The internet hasn't wiped out all Christianity, because there will always be unintelligent people who prefer the easy-to-understand children's fables over logic and scientific evidence.
 
2012-10-07 09:13:28 AM

randomjsa: It's actually been years since those idiots came around here... I wonder why.


The recession. You do know that they have to cough up large sums of cash to go on these missions, right?

:CSB:
Had a buddy who chased a skirt in to the Mormon church. Ended up brainwashed and saved for 2 or 3 years so he could pay to go on a "mission." He was supposed to marry this broad when he returned. Unfortunately, he came back to find that she'd been getting rooted by some other dude she married while he was overseas - leading him to believe she was saving it for him the whole time.

That hurt his faith a little.
:/CSB:
 
2012-10-07 09:14:17 AM

Heist: And mainstream Christians believe that a virgin woman had a child (somehow genetically different from herself) who could perform feats that defy all laws of physics, including turning one substance into another, and who died and later came back to life. There may be lost civilizations on our planet. But rising from the dead? That's a whole different level of idiocy. The internet hasn't wiped out all Christianity, because there will always be unintelligent people who prefer the easy-to-understand children's fables over logic and scientific evidence.


Zombie David Blaine?
 
2012-10-07 09:17:28 AM

Heist: defy all laws of physics, including turning one substance into another,


How does that defy physics?
 
2012-10-07 09:26:10 AM

PallMall: randomjsa: It's actually been years since those idiots came around here... I wonder why.

The recession. You do know that they have to cough up large sums of cash to go on these missions, right?

:CSB:
Had a buddy who chased a skirt in to the Mormon church. Ended up brainwashed and saved for 2 or 3 years so he could pay to go on a "mission." He was supposed to marry this broad when he returned. Unfortunately, he came back to find that she'd been getting rooted by some other dude she married while he was overseas - leading him to believe she was saving it for him the whole time.

That hurt his faith a little.
:/CSB:


^^
been there, done that, stopped before taking the vacation tour. The mission trip was the best thing i ever didn't follow through with in my entire life. Now, an educated antitheist.

/said skirt told me she was going with the new guy on my birthday. quality huh?
 
2012-10-07 09:26:20 AM

Quantum Apostrophe: Heist: defy all laws of physics, including turning one substance into another,

How does that defy physics?


Perhaps I should have said chemistry, not physics. As an example, water and wine have different molecular makeups, and wine has many base elements not found in water. You can't change one element into another spontaneously; that's not how the universe works.
 
2012-10-07 09:29:44 AM

SaintAnky: Who cares? The internet is going to bring about the downfall of that cult. Beliefs in handshakes to get into heaven, magic underwear and non-existent lost civilizations as told by a serial womanizer and con-man all look silly when a little bit of research reveals the truth. The only thing that organization has going for it is it's not as bad as the Scientologists.


Unlikely.

This is the typical brain.
imageshack.us
People like their silly beliefs, because they are lazy critical thinkers and the belief in the afterlife is so comforting.

Silly humans
 
2012-10-07 09:46:27 AM

SquiggsIN: been there, done that, stopped before taking the vacation tour. The mission trip was the best thing i ever didn't follow through with in my entire life. Now, an educated antitheist.

/said skirt told me she was going with the new guy on my birthday. quality huh?


I feel for you, man, but at least you made the right decision by staying the fark away from that crap. When my buddy came back, I thought he was going to jump off a bridge or something.

Turns out, while he was in some 3rd world hell hole trying to avoid malaria and dengue fever, she was in SLC (where here "mission" was) getting her holes plugged by some other "elder" nearly the whole time he was gone.

It's his own fault for not using the brain in his skull. He should've used that money for his college education instead of giving it to a church that sent him to live in squalor, begging brown people to worship American Jesus™
 
2012-10-07 09:55:18 AM
I saw a group of Mormon missionaries the other day, dressed in the typical uniform (slacks, white shirt, etc.) One of the group was a young man who didn't have a belt, forgot his belt, or didn't realize you're supposed to wear a belt when you tuck your shirt into your pants.

Of course, his name tag said his title was "Elder." Heh.

/His fellow missionaries tried to enlighten him. One even offered him a spare belt from his backpack. But natch.
 
2012-10-07 10:01:43 AM

Heist: SaintAnky: Who cares? The internet is going to bring about the downfall of that cult. Beliefs in handshakes to get into heaven, magic underwear and non-existent lost civilizations as told by a serial womanizer and con-man all look silly when a little bit of research reveals the truth. The only thing that organization has going for it is it's not as bad as the Scientologists.

And mainstream Christians believe that a virgin woman had a child (somehow genetically different from herself) who could perform feats that defy all laws of physics, including turning one substance into another, and who died and later came back to life. There may be lost civilizations on our planet. But rising from the dead? That's a whole different level of idiocy. The internet hasn't wiped out all Christianity, because there will always be unintelligent people who prefer the easy-to-understand children's fables over logic and scientific evidence.


No, they don't. Mary was mother to other children. She became pregnant through Immaculate conception, in that God didn't come to her as a man on earth and toss her a bang. Get your fairytales straight if you're going to tell them.
 
2012-10-07 10:03:12 AM

Heist: Quantum Apostrophe: Heist: defy all laws of physics, including turning one substance into another,

How does that defy physics?

Perhaps I should have said chemistry, not physics. As an example, water and wine have different molecular makeups, and wine has many base elements not found in water. You can't change one element into another spontaneously; that's not how the universe works.


all biology is chemistry, all chemistry is physics, all physics is math. Hail our mathematician overlords!
 
2012-10-07 10:12:50 AM

PallMall: SquiggsIN: been there, done that, stopped before taking the vacation tour. The mission trip was the best thing i ever didn't follow through with in my entire life. Now, an educated antitheist.

/said skirt told me she was going with the new guy on my birthday. quality huh?

I feel for you, man, but at least you made the right decision by staying the fark away from that crap. When my buddy came back, I thought he was going to jump off a bridge or something.

Turns out, while he was in some 3rd world hell hole trying to avoid malaria and dengue fever, she was in SLC (where here "mission" was) getting her holes plugged by some other "elder" nearly the whole time he was gone.

It's his own fault for not using the brain in his skull. He should've used that money for his college education instead of giving it to a church that sent him to live in squalor, begging brown people to worship American Jesus™


I wonder how often this happens. My mom visited family living in Utah and they visited their temple while touring SLC. They send all the young men off to the shiatholes at the ends of the earth and keep the young, attractive women around the city to hand out books and persuade people to join.
 
2012-10-07 10:13:38 AM

Heist: The internet hasn't wiped out all Christianity, because there will always be unintelligent people who prefer the easy-to-understand children's fables over logic and scientific evidence.


Hmm, has science changed it's mind about the beginning of the universe....again?
That's ok, feed your ego, Heist.
God will be waiting for you in the end.
 
2012-10-07 10:30:01 AM

Ronin_S: I wonder how often this happens. My mom visited family living in Utah and they visited their temple while touring SLC. They send all the young men off to the shiatholes at the ends of the earth and keep the young, attractive women around the city to hand out books and persuade people to join.


Well, there is one confirmed (by me) and one near-miss by SquiggsIN, on Fark. I have no doubt that it is pretty common.
 
2012-10-07 10:33:08 AM
Well, it seems this thread is going strong with a pissing contest over belief systems. "Live and let live" seems simple enough for me.

/Practicing Deist
//Partaking in the holy sacrament of munching popcorn and watching the fireworks
 
2012-10-07 10:48:05 AM

Ronin_S: PallMall: SquiggsIN: been there, done that, stopped before taking the vacation tour. The mission trip was the best thing i ever didn't follow through with in my entire life. Now, an educated antitheist.

/said skirt told me she was going with the new guy on my birthday. quality huh?

I feel for you, man, but at least you made the right decision by staying the fark away from that crap. When my buddy came back, I thought he was going to jump off a bridge or something.

Turns out, while he was in some 3rd world hell hole trying to avoid malaria and dengue fever, she was in SLC (where here "mission" was) getting her holes plugged by some other "elder" nearly the whole time he was gone.

It's his own fault for not using the brain in his skull. He should've used that money for his college education instead of giving it to a church that sent him to live in squalor, begging brown people to worship American Jesus™

I wonder how often this happens. My mom visited family living in Utah and they visited their temple while touring SLC. They send all the young men off to the shiatholes at the ends of the earth and keep the young, attractive women around the city to hand out books and persuade people to join.


Years ago, I was in Salt Lake City and decided to stop by the temple and check out geneological info. I entered the temple premises four times over two day. Each time, some hot blonde chick with a huge rack in a tight white shirt would come up to me and peddle the kool-aid. Curiously, the groups of retirees were met by short, dumpy women.
 
2012-10-07 10:50:47 AM

Kurmudgeon: Heist: The internet hasn't wiped out all Christianity, because there will always be unintelligent people who prefer the easy-to-understand children's fables over logic and scientific evidence.

Hmm, has science changed it's mind about the beginning of the universe....again?
That's ok, feed your ego, Heist.
God will be waiting for you in the end.


So which creation myth should I believe in? The one drilled into your head since you were a kid?
 
2012-10-07 10:51:28 AM

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: Well, it seems this thread is going strong with a pissing contest over belief systems. "Live and let live" seems simple enough for me.

/Practicing Deist
//Partaking in the holy sacrament of munching popcorn and watching the fireworks


I'm all for 'live and let live,' except when the religion has aggressive missionaries, and when they are fundamentally racist, like Christian Identity, Nation of Islam or Mormonism. The heinous thing about Mormons is that they try and sell their racist pseudo history to the very people maligned by it. At least the white and black supremecists keep their hate to their own kind.
 
2012-10-07 11:02:36 AM

Ronin_S: I wonder how often this happens. My mom visited family living in Utah and they visited their temple while touring SLC. They send all the young men off to the shiatholes at the ends of the earth and keep the young, attractive women around the city to hand out books and persuade people to join.


How is this a bad thing? It's one of the reason's I liked visiting SLC.

However, the headline is misleading. I thought I was now going to able to get me some younger wives.
 
2012-10-07 11:13:21 AM

Straelbora: I'm all for 'live and let live,' except when the religion has aggressive missionaries, and when they are fundamentally racist, like Christian Identity, Nation of Islam or Mormonism. The heinous thing about Mormons is that they try and sell their racist pseudo history to the very people maligned by it. At least the white and black supremecists keep their hate to their own kind.


Don't forget Jehovah's Witnesses, who are basically a doomsday cult. They also have missionaries that stand in entrances of Metro stations. I call them the mumblers, they always stand there with a vapid look on their face with the Watchtower magazine and mumbling away. The Mormons are more aggressive, they go in the trains and accost passengers with their nonsense.
 
2012-10-07 11:18:36 AM

Quantum Apostrophe: So which creation myth should I believe in? The one drilled into your head since you were a kid?


The fact you assume it's a myth shows you've read nothing at all.
 
2012-10-07 11:28:44 AM
And the celebration begins...

dadsprimalscream.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-10-07 11:40:20 AM
HA! Funny, subby.
 
2012-10-07 11:45:37 AM
Sounds like Team Magic Underwear has been losing members after they get out of the house for a year or two.

So they moved up the age and will be sending people right out of high school.

It won't work. It'll just delay people leaving the church by a couple of years.
 
2012-10-07 11:49:52 AM
NAMBLA members were unavailable for comment.
 
2012-10-07 11:55:25 AM

Kurmudgeon: Quantum Apostrophe: So which creation myth should I believe in? The one drilled into your head since you were a kid?

The fact you assume it's a myth shows you've read nothing at all.


Oh boy, you owned me hard. I've read most of the Norse myths. But let me guess, THOSE stories are myths, YOUR story is correct. So, which one is it? I'll read it.
 
2012-10-07 11:59:29 AM

Quantum Apostrophe: Kurmudgeon: Quantum Apostrophe: So which creation myth should I believe in? The one drilled into your head since you were a kid?

The fact you assume it's a myth shows you've read nothing at all.

Oh boy, you owned me hard. I've read most of the Norse myths. But let me guess, THOSE stories are myths, YOUR story is correct. So, which one is it? I'll read it.


Let it go, man. He's either a troll or a die-hard Christian. Either way, arguing with him is a lost cause.
 
2012-10-07 12:13:44 PM

Heist: Quantum Apostrophe: Kurmudgeon: Quantum Apostrophe: So which creation myth should I believe in? The one drilled into your head since you were a kid?

The fact you assume it's a myth shows you've read nothing at all.

Oh boy, you owned me hard. I've read most of the Norse myths. But let me guess, THOSE stories are myths, YOUR story is correct. So, which one is it? I'll read it.

Let it go, man. He's either a troll or a die-hard Christian. Either way, arguing with him is a lost cause.


I'm open minded. Maybe *he*, out of allllllllllllll the people in history, ever, has *the* Truth, capital T. Once *I* also know the truth, I'll try sharing it with one of those mumblers in the Metro.
 
2012-10-07 12:26:52 PM
No Minimum Age Requirement for Leftist Befoulment of Young Minds. Carry on. Reap the karma.
 
2012-10-07 12:27:47 PM

PallMall: He was supposed to marry this broad when he returned. Unfortunately, he came back to find that she'd been getting rooted by some other dude she married while he was overseas - leading him to believe she was saving it for him the whole time.


She installed Cyanogenmod? The faithless trollop.
 
2012-10-07 12:28:48 PM

Quantum Apostrophe: How does that defy physics?


Second law of thermodynamics.
 
2012-10-07 12:31:23 PM

AverageAmericanGuy: It really didn't make sense to have it at 19 in the first place. Kids graduating from high school know everything, so they're perfect vehicles to send the Word of God out into the world.
Better to use them for this before they realize what a waste of time it is.


OK. I knew someone would catch this early. Came here to post this:

Monson and other church leaders said the change, which is effective immediately, was a response to the needs of the growing church, to get further brainwashing into high gear while the kids are still young enough to buy it.  

I've lived around a lot of Mormons. The craziest story I know about them is a girl I used to work with who fell in love with a completely unsuitable much older man (even i admit that the guy was a complete loser). She got pregnant. When the church found out about it, that guy was GONE--fired, see ya, don't even think about it. She was married off to a suitable Mormon guy before the baby was born. And sent to another town to hide her sin, because I never saw her again. I knew her uncle though--a very high-ranking elder of the church.
 
2012-10-07 12:31:50 PM

Quantum Apostrophe: I'm open minded. Maybe *he*, out of allllllllllllll the people in history, ever, has *the* Truth, capital T.


And nobody would have to get nailed to anything. Unfortunately, there's a Vogon constructor fleet on its way.
 
2012-10-07 01:10:41 PM

Quantum Apostrophe: Straelbora: I'm all for 'live and let live,' except when the religion has aggressive missionaries, and when they are fundamentally racist, like Christian Identity, Nation of Islam or Mormonism. The heinous thing about Mormons is that they try and sell their racist pseudo history to the very people maligned by it. At least the white and black supremecists keep their hate to their own kind.

Don't forget Jehovah's Witnesses, who are basically a doomsday cult. They also have missionaries that stand in entrances of Metro stations. I call them the mumblers, they always stand there with a vapid look on their face with the Watchtower magazine and mumbling away. The Mormons are more aggressive, they go in the trains and accost passengers with their nonsense.


Yeah, I forgot about them. I hate the way they use kids to knock on the door, with two or three adults standing a few steps behind. After about the eighth time I told them to stop coming to my house within one year, after opening the door and seeing a girl who looked about 12 with three adults standing behind her, I just started, "Little girl- everything they tell you at church is made-up. The only reason your family are Christians is because the white people who bought your ancestors felt guilty about treating other humans like animals, so they told themselves that bringing Jesus to the savages made slavery worth it." I haven't seen another JW at my door in four years since.

A high school friend had a coworker who was a JW. The guy decided to move out of his parents' house at age 22 or so. I had no idea of the context, I was just asked to help move boxes and furniture. There was an endless parade of church members coming to castigate him and try to convince him not to commit this evil act. They literally acted like we non-Jehovah's Witnesses weren't there. Heard later that the guy's entire family excommunicated him.
 
2012-10-07 01:11:46 PM
It's a ploy to make it easier for them to avoid the draft for when RMoney goes full-jihad after the election.

Iran aint gonna liberate itself!
 
2012-10-07 01:15:43 PM

cryinoutloud: AverageAmericanGuy: It really didn't make sense to have it at 19 in the first place. Kids graduating from high school know everything, so they're perfect vehicles to send the Word of God out into the world.
Better to use them for this before they realize what a waste of time it is.

OK. I knew someone would catch this early. Came here to post this:

Monson and other church leaders said the change, which is effective immediately, was a response to the needs of the growing church, to get further brainwashing into high gear while the kids are still young enough to buy it.  

I've lived around a lot of Mormons. The craziest story I know about them is a girl I used to work with who fell in love with a completely unsuitable much older man (even i admit that the guy was a complete loser). She got pregnant. When the church found out about it, that guy was GONE--fired, see ya, don't even think about it. She was married off to a suitable Mormon guy before the baby was born. And sent to another town to hide her sin, because I never saw her again. I knew her uncle though--a very high-ranking elder of the church.


It's a shame what happened to both. How close to Utah was this? See, I've got this theory on LDS density where Mormon's are the best people when they aren't in the majority. I also know that almost any faith system, especially Abrahamic ones, can create environments like this. Flawed humans will use whatever tools they have to maintain their illusion of control in this world, which I honestly think is mankind's greatest sin.
 
2012-10-07 01:35:24 PM

Ronin_S: They send all the young men off to the shiatholes at the ends of the earth and keep the young, attractive women around the city to hand out books and persuade people to join.


Standard operating procedure in a system where polygamy was originally kosher. As an older church member you send off the young dicks who might compete with yours and keep the naive nubiles close to home to help supply future "sister wives".

Read up on the FLDS "lost boys". It's heartbreaking.
 
2012-10-07 02:14:02 PM

orbister: Quantum Apostrophe: How does that defy physics?

Second law of thermodynamics.


How so?
 
2012-10-07 02:32:48 PM

AverageAmericanGuy: It really didn't make sense to have it at 19 in the first place. Kids graduating from high school know everything, so they're perfect vehicles to send the Word of God out into the world.

Better to use them for this before they realize what a waste of time it is.



I don't buy what they're peddling, but I can respect them for trying to ensure a level of spiritual maturity out of the people they send on missions. Though it probably protects the church as much as it does the missionary or the prospective converts. Who wants to send a 16- or 17-year-old to some shiathole in order to convert the natives only to have them have a crisis of faith in front of the savages?
 
2012-10-07 02:55:28 PM

SaintAnky: Among the rank and file there is a belief that those things have superspecial powers...The church might not officially sanction such talk but they have no problem with the rank &file spreading their delusions.


All religious (and non-religious) communities have folklore. And actually, the LDS Church has found it quite inconvenient at times. It has taken pains to try and correct people over misleading folklore, especially regarding issues like race.
 
2012-10-07 03:20:11 PM

Straelbora: Years ago, I was in Salt Lake City and decided to stop by the temple and check out geneological info. I entered the temple premises four times over two day. Each time, some hot blonde chick with a huge rack in a tight white shirt would come up to me and peddle the kool-aid. Curiously, the groups of retirees were met by short, dumpy women.


If you want to catch fish, you've got to use the right bait!!

orbister: She installed Cyanogenmod? The faithless trollop.


I'm pretty sure she installed all sorts of things. Probably caught a virus too!
 
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