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(Herald Tribune (SW Florida))   53 car pileup in Tallahassee. 47 car pileup in Sarasota. On the same day. Can't Floridians farking drive? The snowbirds aren't even back yet   (heraldtribune.com) divider line 11
    More: Florida, Tallahassee, Florida Highway Patrol  
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3076 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Oct 2012 at 4:36 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-10-06 03:30:56 PM  
4 votes:
No. Floridians cannot drive. As one of the few Floridians who can (HAH), let me tell you what the typical road in Florida contains:

People from the Northeast who will not under any circumstances allow you to merge.
People without drivers licenses at all, who are surprisingly better at driving than other people on this list.
People drunk texting while getting road head and eating a Whopper.
Women from Middle Eastern and Asian countries who just got their license last week. After eighteen tries. And a bribe.
People in barely-moving cars who will, and I am not making this up, literally make NO attempt to avoid a crash if they see you make a driving mistake, so that they can call 1-800-PAIN-LAW before they even farking call 911.
Tourists from countries where road rules apparently involve using the horn as a replacement for all signals and the brake.
People actually cooking meth AS THEY DRIVE.
Bikers riding without shirts, helmets, or shoes. On the Interstate.
And, of course, people like me, who are fortunately so incredibly talented at avoiding all of the above that they've not been killed yet (makes jerking-off motion).
2012-10-06 07:13:58 PM  
2 votes:
I live in Sarasota... Yes on the above regarding drivers here..BUT... I've also been caught in one of these 5 minute deluges of rain that tends to occur here in the afternoons this time of year. You generally don't see it coming and its too strong for wipers, you can literally see nothing and its sudden.. Also when the roads here get wet...they get extremely slippery from oil etc.. Im surprised this doesnt happen more often frankly..
2012-10-06 05:51:49 PM  
1 votes:
Accidents will happen.

It's all the tailgating at 75 MPH that causes them to turn into pileups.
2012-10-06 05:45:43 PM  
1 votes:
Last FL trip, I drove Orlando to Palm Coast in a decent rain. Seven, SEVEN cars off the road were either on their sides or total rollovers. WTF are you people doing?
2012-10-06 05:45:36 PM  
1 votes:

Rich Cream: FLA is the only state that considers a U-turn to be an "extreme left-turn".


U-Turn? Heaven forbid a mid-western oldster would have to make go a little past where they want to go and make a u-turn to get where they are going. They are going to make that left turn from the right lane or cut you off to get over into the right-hand turn lane. Have seen it many times.
2012-10-06 05:10:07 PM  
1 votes:
The most significant bad driving I notice around here (Lake County FL) is people not knowing how to merge onto a highway. I see someone come to a complete stop at the end of the ramp almost on a daily basis. It's seriously scary. Also I don't understand red light creeping but everyone here does it.
2012-10-06 05:06:16 PM  
1 votes:

Makh: Really old people who can barely see the road, drive really slow, but some how passed the drivers test on the 6 try.
Teenagers who drive way past the speed limit
People from the sticks who think all of the safety laws are bullshiat bureaucrats make up. Even the ones where you drive sober and use seat-belts.

When any two of those people collide, and they do often, the resulting accident is catastrophic.

So glad to be out of Sarasota.


Don't forget the old people with 20/5,000 vision who got their licenses 30 or 40 years ago when they could still see beyond the steering wheel and only got to keep their licenses because the process for renewing a FL driver's license consists of nothing more than paying a renewal fee, and paying a late fee if applicable. There is no written test, road test, vision test or any other hurdle in order to renew a DL.
2012-10-06 04:58:31 PM  
1 votes:

dahmers love zombie: No. Floridians cannot drive. As one of the few Floridians who can (HAH), let me tell you what the typical road in Florida contains:

People from the Northeast who will not under any circumstances allow you to merge.
People without drivers licenses at all, who are surprisingly better at driving than other people on this list.
People drunk texting while getting road head and eating a Whopper.
Women from Middle Eastern and Asian countries who just got their license last week. After eighteen tries. And a bribe.
People in barely-moving cars who will, and I am not making this up, literally make NO attempt to avoid a crash if they see you make a driving mistake, so that they can call 1-800-PAIN-LAW before they even farking call 911.
Tourists from countries where road rules apparently involve using the horn as a replacement for all signals and the brake.
People actually cooking meth AS THEY DRIVE.
Bikers riding without shirts, helmets, or shoes. On the Interstate.
And, of course, people like me, who are fortunately so incredibly talented at avoiding all of the above that they've not been killed yet (makes jerking-off motion).


You forgot "80 year olds driving 20 below the limit in the left lane"
2012-10-06 04:51:49 PM  
1 votes:
dahmers love zombie: No. Floridians cannot drive. As one of the few Floridians who can (HAH), let me tell you what the typical road in Florida contains:

People from the Northeast who will not under any circumstances allow you to merge.
People without drivers licenses at all, who are surprisingly better at driving than other people on this list.
People drunk texting while getting road head and eating a Whopper.
Women from Middle Eastern and Asian countries who just got their license last week. After eighteen tries. And a bribe.
People in barely-moving cars who will, and I am not making this up, literally make NO attempt to avoid a crash if they see you make a driving mistake, so that they can call 1-800-PAIN-LAW before they even farking call 911.
Tourists from countries where road rules apparently involve using the horn as a replacement for all signals and the brake.
People actually cooking meth AS THEY DRIVE.
Bikers riding without shirts, helmets, or shoes. On the Interstate.
And, of course, people like me, who are fortunately so incredibly talented at avoiding all of the above that they've not been killed yet (makes jerking-off motion).


Thats not just Florida, thats everywhere.
2012-10-06 03:38:43 PM  
1 votes:
Really old people who can barely see the road, drive really slow, but some how passed the drivers test on the 6 try.
Teenagers who drive way past the speed limit
People from the sticks who think all of the safety laws are bullshiat bureaucrats make up. Even the ones where you drive sober and use seat-belts.

When any two of those people collide, and they do often, the resulting accident is catastrophic.

So glad to be out of Sarasota.
2012-10-06 03:34:10 PM  
1 votes:
Oh, and how's this for a CSB: My wife just called me to tell me that her sister was right at the back of the Sarasota crash. She wasn't in it, but the road closed down for 16 hours and they weren't turning people around so she had to abandon her car and walk several miles to an exit where her husband could pick her up. Just got her car back a bit ago.
 
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