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(Herald Tribune (SW Florida))   53 car pileup in Tallahassee. 47 car pileup in Sarasota. On the same day. Can't Floridians farking drive? The snowbirds aren't even back yet   (heraldtribune.com) divider line 61
    More: Florida, Tallahassee, Florida Highway Patrol  
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3076 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Oct 2012 at 4:36 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-10-06 03:22:48 PM  
Too many people on the roads, going nowhere very fast.
Went back home a few years back and couldn't wait to get back to where heavy traffic was 4 cars and a tractor.
 
2012-10-06 03:30:56 PM  
No. Floridians cannot drive. As one of the few Floridians who can (HAH), let me tell you what the typical road in Florida contains:

People from the Northeast who will not under any circumstances allow you to merge.
People without drivers licenses at all, who are surprisingly better at driving than other people on this list.
People drunk texting while getting road head and eating a Whopper.
Women from Middle Eastern and Asian countries who just got their license last week. After eighteen tries. And a bribe.
People in barely-moving cars who will, and I am not making this up, literally make NO attempt to avoid a crash if they see you make a driving mistake, so that they can call 1-800-PAIN-LAW before they even farking call 911.
Tourists from countries where road rules apparently involve using the horn as a replacement for all signals and the brake.
People actually cooking meth AS THEY DRIVE.
Bikers riding without shirts, helmets, or shoes. On the Interstate.
And, of course, people like me, who are fortunately so incredibly talented at avoiding all of the above that they've not been killed yet (makes jerking-off motion).
 
2012-10-06 03:34:10 PM  
Oh, and how's this for a CSB: My wife just called me to tell me that her sister was right at the back of the Sarasota crash. She wasn't in it, but the road closed down for 16 hours and they weren't turning people around so she had to abandon her car and walk several miles to an exit where her husband could pick her up. Just got her car back a bit ago.
 
2012-10-06 03:38:43 PM  
Really old people who can barely see the road, drive really slow, but some how passed the drivers test on the 6 try.
Teenagers who drive way past the speed limit
People from the sticks who think all of the safety laws are bullshiat bureaucrats make up. Even the ones where you drive sober and use seat-belts.

When any two of those people collide, and they do often, the resulting accident is catastrophic.

So glad to be out of Sarasota.
 
2012-10-06 04:43:26 PM  
Long answer: no, people in Florida can't drive.

Short answer: no, people in Florida can't drive.
 
2012-10-06 04:50:29 PM  
There are only about a half dozen people in Sarasota that are actually from Florida.
The rest are from Michigan, NY, Ohio, etc.
They come down here when their DL gets taken in their home state so they can pull crap like this.

Some of us the interstate to get to work. Some use it to hit the earlybird special at the Cracker Barrel. At 7 MPH in the fast lane
 
2012-10-06 04:51:49 PM  
dahmers love zombie: No. Floridians cannot drive. As one of the few Floridians who can (HAH), let me tell you what the typical road in Florida contains:

People from the Northeast who will not under any circumstances allow you to merge.
People without drivers licenses at all, who are surprisingly better at driving than other people on this list.
People drunk texting while getting road head and eating a Whopper.
Women from Middle Eastern and Asian countries who just got their license last week. After eighteen tries. And a bribe.
People in barely-moving cars who will, and I am not making this up, literally make NO attempt to avoid a crash if they see you make a driving mistake, so that they can call 1-800-PAIN-LAW before they even farking call 911.
Tourists from countries where road rules apparently involve using the horn as a replacement for all signals and the brake.
People actually cooking meth AS THEY DRIVE.
Bikers riding without shirts, helmets, or shoes. On the Interstate.
And, of course, people like me, who are fortunately so incredibly talented at avoiding all of the above that they've not been killed yet (makes jerking-off motion).


Thats not just Florida, thats everywhere.
 
2012-10-06 04:53:46 PM  
Most snowbirds are back already. They don't hang around the north much past labor day
 
2012-10-06 04:56:02 PM  
holy crap on a cracker. came to put in my 2 cents from having observed FLA roads, see you Farkers have it all covered. guess i'll go make a farking cup of coffee and fark myself.
 
GBB
2012-10-06 04:56:38 PM  
must have been raining.
 
2012-10-06 04:57:06 PM  

Oldiron_79: dahmers love zombie: No. Floridians cannot drive. As one of the few Floridians who can (HAH), let me tell you what the typical road in Florida contains:

People from the Northeast who will not under any circumstances allow you to merge.
People without drivers licenses at all, who are surprisingly better at driving than other people on this list.
People drunk texting while getting road head and eating a Whopper.
Women from Middle Eastern and Asian countries who just got their license last week. After eighteen tries. And a bribe.
People in barely-moving cars who will, and I am not making this up, literally make NO attempt to avoid a crash if they see you make a driving mistake, so that they can call 1-800-PAIN-LAW before they even farking call 911.
Tourists from countries where road rules apparently involve using the horn as a replacement for all signals and the brake.
People actually cooking meth AS THEY DRIVE.
Bikers riding without shirts, helmets, or shoes. On the Interstate.
And, of course, people like me, who are fortunately so incredibly talented at avoiding all of the above that they've not been killed yet (makes jerking-off motion).

Thats not just Florida, thats everywhere.


Ya no shiat. Aside from the meth one and the bikes on the freeway all of that applies to LA.
 
2012-10-06 04:58:31 PM  

dahmers love zombie: No. Floridians cannot drive. As one of the few Floridians who can (HAH), let me tell you what the typical road in Florida contains:

People from the Northeast who will not under any circumstances allow you to merge.
People without drivers licenses at all, who are surprisingly better at driving than other people on this list.
People drunk texting while getting road head and eating a Whopper.
Women from Middle Eastern and Asian countries who just got their license last week. After eighteen tries. And a bribe.
People in barely-moving cars who will, and I am not making this up, literally make NO attempt to avoid a crash if they see you make a driving mistake, so that they can call 1-800-PAIN-LAW before they even farking call 911.
Tourists from countries where road rules apparently involve using the horn as a replacement for all signals and the brake.
People actually cooking meth AS THEY DRIVE.
Bikers riding without shirts, helmets, or shoes. On the Interstate.
And, of course, people like me, who are fortunately so incredibly talented at avoiding all of the above that they've not been killed yet (makes jerking-off motion).


You forgot "80 year olds driving 20 below the limit in the left lane"
 
2012-10-06 04:58:48 PM  
What will the book Carl Hiassen writes about this be called?
 
2012-10-06 05:06:16 PM  

Makh: Really old people who can barely see the road, drive really slow, but some how passed the drivers test on the 6 try.
Teenagers who drive way past the speed limit
People from the sticks who think all of the safety laws are bullshiat bureaucrats make up. Even the ones where you drive sober and use seat-belts.

When any two of those people collide, and they do often, the resulting accident is catastrophic.

So glad to be out of Sarasota.


Don't forget the old people with 20/5,000 vision who got their licenses 30 or 40 years ago when they could still see beyond the steering wheel and only got to keep their licenses because the process for renewing a FL driver's license consists of nothing more than paying a renewal fee, and paying a late fee if applicable. There is no written test, road test, vision test or any other hurdle in order to renew a DL.
 
2012-10-06 05:09:26 PM  

KrispyKritter: holy crap on a cracker. came to put in my 2 cents from having observed FLA roads, see you Farkers have it all covered. guess i'll go make a farking cup of coffee and fark myself.


Don't forget to bring a towel!
 
2012-10-06 05:10:07 PM  
The most significant bad driving I notice around here (Lake County FL) is people not knowing how to merge onto a highway. I see someone come to a complete stop at the end of the ramp almost on a daily basis. It's seriously scary. Also I don't understand red light creeping but everyone here does it.
 
2012-10-06 05:12:50 PM  
This is why I fire a warning shot when people tailgate me.
 
2012-10-06 05:16:06 PM  

King Something: Makh: Really old people who can barely see the road, drive really slow, but some how passed the drivers test on the 6 try.
Teenagers who drive way past the speed limit
People from the sticks who think all of the safety laws are bullshiat bureaucrats make up. Even the ones where you drive sober and use seat-belts.

When any two of those people collide, and they do often, the resulting accident is catastrophic.

So glad to be out of Sarasota.

Don't forget the old people with 20/5,000 vision who got their licenses 30 or 40 years ago when they could still see beyond the steering wheel and only got to keep their licenses because the process for renewing a FL driver's license consists of nothing more than paying a renewal fee, and paying a late fee if applicable. There is no written test, road test, vision test or any other hurdle in order to renew a DL.


Oh, so you've met my mom-in-law. Blind in one eye, getting close in the other. About to fail her second artificial hip. Can't walk, but drove 14 hours sitting on an actively septic hip joint so that she wouldn't have to pay full price airfare. Oh, yes, she had a copilot. With Alzheimers.

/welcome to Florida
 
2012-10-06 05:18:57 PM  
"More than a dozen people have been injured in several crashes along 1-10 in Jacksonville"

I live in Tally, so I was wondering how I could have not heard about this. Then I read the article. Reading comprehension is a wonderful thing.
 
2012-10-06 05:20:56 PM  
Florida is the worst place to drive east of Texas.

I've never been further west, but I've been in every town big enough to have a Rite-Aid in it to the east. And, bar NONE, the worst driving/drivers are in Florida.

I';ll take rush hour in Hotlanta any day. The lovely streets in DC that are one way both directions and two way all on the same day, depending on the time that is posted in ONE place? Twice on Turesdays. NYC's 27 tolls to go 4 miles? Happily. New Jersey's 20 minutes to go to the laundromat on the other side of the road? I wish.

No, south Florida and driving are a special kind of hell. The one reserved for the people too evil for the one Book talked about.

The *special* special hell.
 
2012-10-06 05:25:12 PM  

greatgodyoshi: "More than a dozen people have been injured in several crashes along 1-10 in Jacksonville"

I live in Tally, so I was wondering how I could have not heard about this. Then I read the article. Reading comprehension is a wonderful thing.


Reading is for losers.
 
2012-10-06 05:26:28 PM  

Go_Noles: greatgodyoshi: "More than a dozen people have been injured in several crashes along 1-10 in Jacksonville"

I live in Tally, so I was wondering how I could have not heard about this. Then I read the article. Reading comprehension is a wonderful thing.

Reading is for losers.


And there lips get tired when they read.
 
2012-10-06 05:27:07 PM  
er. their... fark!
 
2012-10-06 05:31:40 PM  
Is everyone involved positive that this didn't happen in Massachusetts?
 
2012-10-06 05:32:13 PM  
Sounds like somebody is on a mission from God.
 
2012-10-06 05:35:25 PM  
FLA is the only state that considers a U-turn to be an "extreme left-turn".
 
2012-10-06 05:36:10 PM  

dahmers love zombie: No. Floridians cannot drive. As one of the few Floridians who can (HAH), let me tell you what the typical road in Florida contains:

People from the Northeast who will not under any circumstances allow you to merge.
People without drivers licenses at all, who are surprisingly better at driving than other people on this list.
People drunk texting while getting road head and eating a Whopper.
Women from Middle Eastern and Asian countries who just got their license last week. After eighteen tries. And a bribe.
People in barely-moving cars who will, and I am not making this up, literally make NO attempt to avoid a crash if they see you make a driving mistake, so that they can call 1-800-PAIN-LAW before they even farking call 911.
Tourists from countries where road rules apparently involve using the horn as a replacement for all signals and the brake.
People actually cooking meth AS THEY DRIVE.
Bikers riding without shirts, helmets, or shoes. On the Interstate.
And, of course, people like me, who are fortunately so incredibly talented at avoiding all of the above that they've not been killed yet (makes jerking-off motion).


Nailed it.

I often compare the streets and highways in Florida to the wastelands of The Road Warrior. People seemingly make up their own rules of the road on a whim, and traffic signs, signals, and customs are seen as mere suggestions.

You basically have to be defensive driving at 150% alertness in order to avoid serious accidents on a daily basis.
 
2012-10-06 05:45:36 PM  

Rich Cream: FLA is the only state that considers a U-turn to be an "extreme left-turn".


U-Turn? Heaven forbid a mid-western oldster would have to make go a little past where they want to go and make a u-turn to get where they are going. They are going to make that left turn from the right lane or cut you off to get over into the right-hand turn lane. Have seen it many times.
 
2012-10-06 05:45:43 PM  
Last FL trip, I drove Orlando to Palm Coast in a decent rain. Seven, SEVEN cars off the road were either on their sides or total rollovers. WTF are you people doing?
 
2012-10-06 05:45:59 PM  

web250: Most snowbirds are back already. They don't hang around the north much past labor day


Yep. I've seen a major increase of cars with out of state plates and BIG MOTHER FARKING Class Eh? RVs.
And here we are, trying to get the hell out of this state and go somewhere cooler.

/Class Eh? - 35+ foot motorhome with Canadian plates
 
2012-10-06 05:47:53 PM  
9 Years, no tickets, no accidents, no incidents, no registration, no licence, no insurance. And I live in Las Vegas.

Its more of a feat than you think.
 
2012-10-06 05:51:49 PM  
Accidents will happen.

It's all the tailgating at 75 MPH that causes them to turn into pileups.
 
2012-10-06 06:12:15 PM  

Lunchlady: Oldiron_79: dahmers love zombie: No. Floridians cannot drive. As one of the few Floridians who can (HAH), let me tell you what the typical road in Florida contains:

People from the Northeast who will not under any circumstances allow you to merge.
People without drivers licenses at all, who are surprisingly better at driving than other people on this list.
People drunk texting while getting road head and eating a Whopper.
Women from Middle Eastern and Asian countries who just got their license last week. After eighteen tries. And a bribe.
People in barely-moving cars who will, and I am not making this up, literally make NO attempt to avoid a crash if they see you make a driving mistake, so that they can call 1-800-PAIN-LAW before they even farking call 911.
Tourists from countries where road rules apparently involve using the horn as a replacement for all signals and the brake.
People actually cooking meth AS THEY DRIVE.
Bikers riding without shirts, helmets, or shoes. On the Interstate.
And, of course, people like me, who are fortunately so incredibly talented at avoiding all of the above that they've not been killed yet (makes jerking-off motion).

Thats not just Florida, thats everywhere.

Ya no shiat. Aside from the meth one and the bikes on the freeway all of that applies to LA.


Yea, that sounds just like LA if you add pickup trucks with a half dozen mexicans in the back & 4 in the front.
 
2012-10-06 06:13:21 PM  
Getting quite a kick out of all the farkers who think that old people driving too slow cause high speed multicar pileups.
Right there you get an idea of what really causes those pileups.
 
2012-10-06 06:13:28 PM  
The headline probably said tallahassee because the Asian cultural festival was in Tallahassee today and subby got confused.
 
2012-10-06 06:15:22 PM  
47+53= 100
 
2012-10-06 06:16:39 PM  

veale728: dahmers love zombie: No. Floridians cannot drive. As one of the few Floridians who can (HAH), let me tell you what the typical road in Florida contains:

People from the Northeast who will not under any circumstances allow you to merge.
People without drivers licenses at all, who are surprisingly better at driving than other people on this list.
People drunk texting while getting road head and eating a Whopper.
Women from Middle Eastern and Asian countries who just got their license last week. After eighteen tries. And a bribe.
People in barely-moving cars who will, and I am not making this up, literally make NO attempt to avoid a crash if they see you make a driving mistake, so that they can call 1-800-PAIN-LAW before they even farking call 911.
Tourists from countries where road rules apparently involve using the horn as a replacement for all signals and the brake.
People actually cooking meth AS THEY DRIVE.
Bikers riding without shirts, helmets, or shoes. On the Interstate.
And, of course, people like me, who are fortunately so incredibly talented at avoiding all of the above that they've not been killed yet (makes jerking-off motion).

You forgot "80 year olds driving 20 below the limit in the left lane"


With their turn signal on. The left one.
 
2012-10-06 06:28:53 PM  

xaks: Florida is the worst place to drive east of Texas.


With one addendum. West Virginia CURVY 2 lanes. While nowhere as crowded as Florida or elsewhere, you get someone from out of state who isn't used to them or a WVer who has came back and has forgotten how it is, they can be deadly.
Between the requisite farmer on a tractor, lady of the house in the pickup going REAL slow, deer, cattle and who knows what in the road, plus if you go off the road, if a tree or boulder doesn't catch you, a creek, hillside or stream will.
Especially rough on non-seat belt wearers, if you go off the road in WV you WILL roll and you'll hang half in, half out the window like Raggedy Ann or Andy and be beaten to paste.
If you get off the interstate and onto the WV back roads, put on your belt, drive reasonably and not too fast or slow,
you've been warned.
/and that doesn't even include the rednecks
 
2012-10-06 06:33:06 PM  

Tony_Pepperoni: Lunchlady: Oldiron_79: dahmers love zombie: No. Floridians cannot drive. As one of the few Floridians who can (HAH), let me tell you what the typical road in Florida contains:

People from the Northeast who will not under any circumstances allow you to merge.
People without drivers licenses at all, who are surprisingly better at driving than other people on this list.
People drunk texting while getting road head and eating a Whopper.
Women from Middle Eastern and Asian countries who just got their license last week. After eighteen tries. And a bribe.
People in barely-moving cars who will, and I am not making this up, literally make NO attempt to avoid a crash if they see you make a driving mistake, so that they can call 1-800-PAIN-LAW before they even farking call 911.
Tourists from countries where road rules apparently involve using the horn as a replacement for all signals and the brake.
People actually cooking meth AS THEY DRIVE.
Bikers riding without shirts, helmets, or shoes. On the Interstate.
And, of course, people like me, who are fortunately so incredibly talented at avoiding all of the above that they've not been killed yet (makes jerking-off motion).

Thats not just Florida, thats everywhere.

Ya no shiat. Aside from the meth one and the bikes on the freeway all of that applies to LA.

Yea, that sounds just like LA if you add pickup trucks with a half dozen mexicans in the back & 4 in the front.


And a stalled out shiat wagon on the side of the 405 going up the hill.
 
2012-10-06 06:37:36 PM  
Did Subby even read the article? It was 53 car in 20 different accidents, moran.
 
2012-10-06 06:59:10 PM  

Kurmudgeon: xaks: Florida is the worst place to drive east of Texas.

With one addendum. West Virginia CURVY 2 lanes. While nowhere as crowded as Florida or elsewhere, you get someone from out of state who isn't used to them or a WVer who has came back and has forgotten how it is, they can be deadly.
Between the requisite farmer on a tractor, lady of the house in the pickup going REAL slow, deer, cattle and who knows what in the road, plus if you go off the road, if a tree or boulder doesn't catch you, a creek, hillside or stream will.
Especially rough on non-seat belt wearers, if you go off the road in WV you WILL roll and you'll hang half in, half out the window like Raggedy Ann or Andy and be beaten to paste.
If you get off the interstate and onto the WV back roads, put on your belt, drive reasonably and not too fast or slow,
you've been warned.
/and that doesn't even include the rednecks


West Virginia hill roads are HELLA fun in a rented Mitsubishi Spyder Convertible with unlimited milage. Carolina's too.

Ahh, 1999 was such a fun year.
 
2012-10-06 07:13:58 PM  
I live in Sarasota... Yes on the above regarding drivers here..BUT... I've also been caught in one of these 5 minute deluges of rain that tends to occur here in the afternoons this time of year. You generally don't see it coming and its too strong for wipers, you can literally see nothing and its sudden.. Also when the roads here get wet...they get extremely slippery from oil etc.. Im surprised this doesnt happen more often frankly..
 
2012-10-06 07:35:08 PM  

mehcky: I live in Sarasota... Yes on the above regarding drivers here..BUT... I've also been caught in one of these 5 minute deluges of rain that tends to occur here in the afternoons this time of year. You generally don't see it coming and its too strong for wipers, you can literally see nothing and its sudden.. Also when the roads here get wet...they get extremely slippery from oil etc.. Im surprised this doesnt happen more often frankly..


it's not the rain's fault. it's the fault of bad drivers (duh). u should be able to drive in any kind of weather condition perfectly safe.
 
2012-10-06 07:44:58 PM  
We just moved our 88 year old mother from northern Illinois to her new condo in Sarasota last month. I was pretty sure the accident was in an area where she would not normally be, but I called her any way. Nope, nowhere near it and we had a good laugh.

Anyway, I cannot recall her ever being in an accident nor getting a speeding ticket and she is very cautious there, as so much has changed from when we lived there before (1959-1970).

BTW, WTF is with all those gaaadam roundabouts all over town now?
 
2012-10-06 08:07:16 PM  

Aulus: We just moved our 88 year old mother from northern Illinois to her new condo in Sarasota last month. I was pretty sure the accident was in an area where she would not normally be, but I called her any way. Nope, nowhere near it and we had a good laugh.

Anyway, I cannot recall her ever being in an accident nor getting a speeding ticket and she is very cautious there, as so much has changed from when we lived there before (1959-1970).

BTW, WTF is with all those gaaadam roundabouts all over town now?


Nobody in Florida knows what a stop sign or red light means.

I've driven in Bawlmer/NoVA/DC, Dallas, Houston, Atlanta, Chicago, and Manhattan and I have never seen "try to sneak in past the red light" more than Florida. You're sitting at a light, watching crossing traffic, and if you start moving less than 5 seconds after your light turns green, there's an even money chance you're going to get broadsided.
 
2012-10-06 08:09:31 PM  

skinink: Is everyone involved positive that this didn't happen in Massachusetts?


There was a huge block on the Mass Pike yesterday, actually - backed up 45 miles. MILES, not minutes.

I haven't bothered to check the news to see what the cause was. I'm guessing "driving in Taxachusettes".
 
2012-10-06 08:13:10 PM  
It was raining like a boss today. Thankfully it was daylight. Had it been nighfall, I wouldn't have been able to see. The worst rain I have ever seen was in atlanta, at around midnight 1am from downtown atlanta to I-20 west (six flags/austell). It was raining so bad, I wanted to pull over. I just couldn't see the end of the road to pull off and I wasn't about to stop directly on the highway.. I was driving at about 5-10 miles an hour and all i could see was a single yellow reflectors just as i passed it.

And there was a different time GA had sunny day rain storm where the sun was full blast and you couldn't see because of the sunlight glare on the car. Also on I20 west bound.

We need to ban I-20 west bound!
 
2012-10-06 08:17:47 PM  

xaks: Florida is the worst place to drive east of Texas.

I've never been further west, but I've been in every town big enough to have a Rite-Aid in it to the east. And, bar NONE, the worst driving/drivers are in Florida.
.


So true. I had driven extensively in almost every single state thanks to an installation job I had for several years. I now live in St Pete - and had never driven in Florida prior to moving here. It is a new definition of pain and suffering unlike anything I have seen. And DANGEROUS. If you aren't an extremely good defensive driver, and VERY alert - you WILL be in an accident.

Also, the accident will be with one of two types of folks: Old people, or someone on pills who uses auto accidents as their income source.

/otherwise I freaking love this place.
 
2012-10-06 08:20:23 PM  
Yesterday's Mass Pike issue: caused by LEAFERS!

Also love the last line of the article: "Verseckes said tolls would have to be calculated after the weekend frenzy in order to determine if this was the worst traffic jam the state has ever seen.". I'm amazed they didn't say something along the lines of "tolls would have to be calculated to ensure everyone paid ... twice."
 
2012-10-06 08:21:49 PM  

DarthBart: Nobody in Florida knows what a stop sign or red light means.

I've driven in Bawlmer/NoVA/DC, Dallas, Houston, Atlanta, Chicago, and Manhattan and I have never seen "try to sneak in past the red light" more than Florida. You're sitting at a light, watching crossing traffic, and if you start moving less than 5 seconds after your light turns green, there's an even money chance you're going to get broadsided.


Yep, you always have to check for traffic before going on green. Amber means punch it. People get rear-ended if they start slowing to a stop when the light turns amber. I had a guy get out of his car and try to fight me because I stopped instead of flooring it to make it across before the light turned red.
 
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