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(The Sun)   What humans will look like...IN THE YEAR 3000 (w/pics)   (thesun.co.uk) divider line 226
    More: Interesting, double chins, Lancaster University  
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35051 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Oct 2012 at 8:22 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-10-06 12:34:03 PM  
Hmm, strange that we haven't changed that much in the last 50k years. Must be the radiation from future fallout.
 
2012-10-06 12:35:38 PM  

Nick Nostril: Also, if you want to know what humans of the future will be like, look at the folks having babies today.



So they'll look like my cousin Sheila?
 
2012-10-06 12:40:57 PM  
1: EVOLUTION DOESN'T WORK LIKE THAT!
2: If the internet has taught me anything, it's that women will all have 13" long penises and huge tits.
 
2012-10-06 12:41:17 PM  

TheLeftNugget: Erom: Longer fingers because of devices we use? Kinda short sighted to think we'll still be pushing buttons and screens in 1000 years let alone 50 years.

"Mister Spacely made me push the button almost SEVEN times today, Jane!"


I read that as "Mister Spanky".

I need to get out moar.
 
2012-10-06 12:42:35 PM  
We'll look like whatever we want to after the Singularity.
 
2012-10-06 12:44:21 PM  

Abox: Nick Nostril: Also, if you want to know what humans of the future will be like, look at the folks having babies today.


So they'll look like my cousin Sheila?


Jesus, I hope not.
 
2012-10-06 12:51:56 PM  

enderthexenocide: i'm actually curious about how our bodies would evolve once we leave earth and start living in space in zero gravity.


Now that might actually apply some evolutionary pressure. There's no pressure that would select for longer fingers, shorter intestines or smaller brains. For that to happen, people with long fingers, short intestines and small brains would have to have more children and I see nothing that would lead to that.

But a weightless, high radiation environment would almost certainly increase mortality among those not adapted to it.
 
2012-10-06 12:54:37 PM  

hitlersbrain: You have to be 'selected' for the traits. That means 'looks' are really all that matters. The reason we're getting taller is not from nutrition bu because women prefer tall men. None of the things mentioned would be attractive (except getting freakishly tall) so it's unlikely this will happen,

In any case, biological evolution is a dead issue for humans. It no longer has any meaningful effect. Biological evolution means an animal is shaped by it's environment. We shape our environment to suit us.

The next step, despite what the losers ruining sci-fi with soap operas might portray, is to become machines. Immortal, tough enough to travel space. To live on harsh moons and planets. Easy to maintain, easy to power, easy to upgrade. I still hope I live long enough to see it.


Not only that, but as a society we've eliminated the need to be able to provide for yourself and your offspring or else your genes didn't get passed on. 4000 years ago you had to be able to provide food, protection, and shelter. 2000 years ago you had to provide those things or have a skill you could trade for them. Now you have to provide those things, have a skill you can trade for them, or tell the government you need them. Basically the only thing you need to pass your genes on now is someone with complementary sexual organs.
 
2012-10-06 12:54:55 PM  
Dougal Dixon did it better.

Link
 
2012-10-06 12:57:25 PM  
www.driven2divide.com
 
2012-10-06 01:07:10 PM  
Wow, and I thought Fox Science [sic] was bad.
 
2012-10-06 01:09:58 PM  
i996.photobucket.com
 
2012-10-06 01:19:41 PM  
www.velcro-city.co.uk

It's been done.
 
2012-10-06 01:20:16 PM  

I Browse: [www.velcro-city.co.uk image 500x500]

It's been done.


Busted!
 
2012-10-06 01:23:41 PM  

jso2897: That's one of the stupidest Goddamn things I've seen in print.


You sure nailed it!
Evolution just doesn't work that way, I might though be open to suggestions that writers for the Sun would develop this way...Small testicles, small brains and long typing fingers.
 
2012-10-06 01:25:55 PM  
At least it gives midgets and dwarfs hope.
 
2012-10-06 01:31:51 PM  
From this article, I have learned that the experts on human evolution are dentists, plastic surgeons, museum employees, and psychologists.
 
2012-10-06 01:33:34 PM  
Someone in the art department: Hahahahahaaaa. Look at this funny picture I doodled on my break.

Editor: AAAHHAAAAHAHAAAAAA! That's hilarious! Hey! Let's write some bogus bullshiat to go with it and we'll run it like its a serious news article.
 
2012-10-06 01:39:58 PM  
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-10-06 01:40:48 PM  
www.dvdjournal.com 

More obscure?
 
2012-10-06 01:41:39 PM  

I Browse: [www.velcro-city.co.uk image 500x500]

It's been done.


i560.photobucket.com
 
2012-10-06 01:46:55 PM  
I can believe some of this, but I seriously doubt that people will have a SUN logo between their legs
 
2012-10-06 01:48:31 PM  

Proteios1: I thought it was just religion the media was so clueless about. I see science is part of the group of topics the media has absolutely nothing useful to speak of. Evolution doesnt follow a logical pathway based on transient social trends. we have many traits that serve no purpose simply because there was no selection against it. if evolution followed a logical plan it would be called intelligent design. and lets not go there.
Maybe the media should just stick to entertainers and their drug addictions.


25.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-10-06 01:50:23 PM  

Omnivorous: FTFA: Osteopath Garry Trainer, from north London, says: "The average American is about one inch taller than in 1960."

This isn't true: Americans stopped growing in average height about 50 years ago and recent evidence says that because of poor childhood nutrition we are getting shorter -- and fatter. This from a 2004 article in The New Yorker titled "The Height Gap: Why Europeans are Getting Taller -- and Americans Aren't":

But sometime around 1955 the situation began to reverse. The Germans and other Europeans went on to grow an extra two centimetres a decade, and some Asian populations several times more, yet Americans haven't grown taller in fifty years.

The average American man is only five feet nine and a half-less than an inch taller than the average soldier during the Revolutionary War. Women, meanwhile, seem to be getting smaller. According to the National Center for Health Statistics-which conducts periodic surveys of as many as thirty-five thousand Americans-women born in the late nineteen-fifties and early nineteen-sixties average just under five feet five. Those born a decade later are a third of an inch shorter.

Link


That study is damned near as flawed as the stupidity in TFA. Ethnicities with shorter mean and median height constitute a large and increasing proportion of the US population. It's not that mean US height didn't plateau, it's that they're misrepresenting the reason why.
 
2012-10-06 01:52:40 PM  
D'oh! Should have scrolled more!
 
2012-10-06 01:57:33 PM  

DO NOT WANT Poster Girl: Oh for fark's sake BIOLOGY DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY


And yet the average intelligence of The Sun's patrons should preclude them reading at all.

EXPLAIN THAT, SCIENCE!
 
2012-10-06 02:00:12 PM  
Americans as a nationality arent getting taller because an increasing amount of Americans are of shorter hispanic pedigree. If the average height of 250 million people is 5'10 and you suddenly have an influx of 100 million folks whose average height is 5'7, it brings the average down.
 
2012-10-06 02:01:20 PM  

RexTalionis: [www.allurelibre.ch image 468x595]


"Is it twue what they say about Morlocks?"

"It's twue! It's twue!"

/obscure?
 
2012-10-06 02:17:15 PM  

Cybernetic: I've seen any number of articles stating that, over time, variations in human appearance will fade away as genetically dominant traits overwhelm recessive traits.

So, in the future will all nipples be brown or pink?


One of each. And they will function like the soft-serve machine at McDonald's. In the event of three nipples, the middle one will be "swirl."
 
2012-10-06 02:21:43 PM  

PallMall: Sock Ruh Tease: "Expect people to have QUADRUPLE CHINS"

[media.trb.com image 325x425]

[ytrewq.com image 433x567]


OH SWEET JESUS!

/nice
 
2012-10-06 02:23:40 PM  

Cybernetic: I've seen any number of articles stating that, over time, variations in human appearance will fade away as genetically dominant traits overwhelm recessive traits.

So, in the future will all nipples be brown or pink?


One of each. They will function like the soft serve machines at McDonald's. If there is a third, it will be "swirl."
 
2012-10-06 02:23:47 PM  
Came for the Bat Boy comparison.

/Left disappointed.
 
2012-10-06 02:24:03 PM  

jfarkinB: Oh, yeah, and the last sentence is a nice touch:

And there will be darker skin as people move around the planet and races mix.

...as opposed to the light skin all people enjoy today, right, Sun?


My brain nearly melted from the stupid before this.
 
2012-10-06 02:24:58 PM  
I sent the duplicate post from 1000 years in the future. It was just a test.
 
2012-10-06 02:30:16 PM  
Jesus, reading that article caused a flashback to being a young teenager and killing time at my Grandmother's house reading the supermarket tabloid rags she had laying around
 
2012-10-06 02:37:51 PM  
"...climate is having less influence on broad or narrow hooters..."

Way to bury the lede, Sun.
 
2012-10-06 02:39:39 PM  

maxx2112: [i3.kym-cdn.com image 500x282]


Whoa...

I had this article open in another tab (also from Fark) - scrolled to the bottom, finished reading it, and clicked close. And this image disappeared to reveal yours almost directly underneath it.

*spooky coincidence music*
 
2012-10-06 02:46:59 PM  

dwade: Pud: In just 1,000 years? No, it'll probably be more like ....

[t3.gstatic.com image 356x297]

Looks like i have a new fetish.


Which one? Or both?... together?

NTTAWWT
 
2012-10-06 02:48:41 PM  

CreamFilling: hitlersbrain: You have to be 'selected' for the traits. That means 'looks' are really all that matters. The reason we're getting taller is not from nutrition bu because women prefer tall men. None of the things mentioned would be attractive (except getting freakishly tall) so it's unlikely this will happen,

In any case, biological evolution is a dead issue for humans. It no longer has any meaningful effect. Biological evolution means an animal is shaped by it's environment. We shape our environment to suit us.

The next step, despite what the losers ruining sci-fi with soap operas might portray, is to become machines. Immortal, tough enough to travel space. To live on harsh moons and planets. Easy to maintain, easy to power, easy to upgrade. I still hope I live long enough to see it.

Not only that, but as a society we've eliminated the need to be able to provide for yourself and your offspring or else your genes didn't get passed on. 4000 years ago you had to be able to provide food, protection, and shelter. 2000 years ago you had to provide those things or have a skill you could trade for them. Now you have to provide those things, have a skill you can trade for them, or tell the government you need them. Basically the only thing you need to pass your genes on now is someone with complementary sexual organs.


Which is why you will soon need permission from the government to breed.
 
2012-10-06 03:24:13 PM  

Trance750: 'Smaller brains, more wrinkles, fewer teeth'

So they'll all be Republicans?


THIS!!!
 
2012-10-06 03:32:45 PM  
CORRECTION TO PREVIOUS POST:

I should have said TROFIM Lysenko, I had him confused with Konstantin Lomonosov.

... ... ... ... ...even Jove nods.
 
2012-10-06 03:54:12 PM  

randomjsa: I particularly like the bit about how we're going to somehow have smaller brains because of computers.

Computers have been responsible for the EXPANSION of knowledge more so than perhaps any other tool in history.


The human brain has shrunk.
interesting article
 
2012-10-06 04:15:14 PM  
I was confused for a second, because I didn't understand why they would be showing me a member of the Democratic party.
 
2012-10-06 04:36:07 PM  

Obama4Life: Habitual Cynic: The males will wear pointy shoes.

You mean like elves?


Nah... More like an efficient way to stomp the giant cucaraches in the corners.
 
2012-10-06 04:37:06 PM  
That looks like the previous editor of The Sun, R. Brooks.
 
2012-10-06 04:40:15 PM  

emersonbiggins: My prediction of what all women will look like in the year 3000:

[images.askmen.com image 376x490]

/male fertility rate continues to spiral downward because of teh crazy


From your keyboard to God's eyes.
 
2012-10-06 04:47:05 PM  
I always thought my nephew looks a lot like Bat Boy.

upload.wikimedia.org

The Scientific American
asked a better class of scientist about future human evolution and what they came up was trolls. Big ears, big noses, receding jaws, long lives, hunched backs ... basic troll body pattern.

IN THE YEAR 2000 ... all men will be internet trolls and all women will be hot internet porno chicks (just like the "advanced" aliens in 1950s SF and Horror comics).
 
2012-10-06 04:57:39 PM  
Mom?
 
2012-10-06 05:26:31 PM  

NoWhiskeyWeGoNow: [www.dvdjournal.com image 350x252] 

More obscure?


sixth finger?
 
2012-10-06 05:40:59 PM  
www.onlygoodmovies.com
 
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