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(Buzzfeed)   The eight most useless pieces of exercise equipment. It's amazing anyone ever bought a Soloflex   (buzzfeed.com) divider line 113
    More: Silly, exercise equipment, Suzanne Somers, R.J. Reynolds, rollers, Shake Weight  
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20556 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Oct 2012 at 7:22 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



113 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-10-06 01:01:13 AM
Soloflex is awesome. Try benchpressing to exhaustion with freeweights alone and then get back to me if you can ever lift the bar off your throat.
 
2012-10-06 07:18:36 AM
stevenhomartialarts.com
 
2012-10-06 07:25:39 AM
Oh man, that back roller thing looks amazing. I bet it would feel awesome right up to the point my hair got caught in it.
 
2012-10-06 07:26:06 AM
No Shake Weight?
 
2012-10-06 07:31:39 AM
The Hawaii Chair gave me the strangest boner.
 
2012-10-06 07:34:29 AM

fluffy2097: Oh man, that back roller thing looks amazing. I bet it would feel awesome right up to the point my hair got caught in it.


But you got to admit. That skin tight onesy is hot
 
2012-10-06 07:36:11 AM

Summoner101: No Shake Weight?


It says useless!
 
2012-10-06 07:37:46 AM
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-10-06 07:39:55 AM

fluffy2097: Oh man, that back roller thing looks amazing. I bet it would feel awesome right up to the point my hair got caught in it.



I don't think you're supposed to do it in the nude.
 
2012-10-06 07:39:59 AM
Lololol I remember the thigh master,my aunt had one. What a goofy looking thing. That roller massage thing reminds me of those farked up little rolling things from PE when I was a kid,I got my wrist caught up in the wheel and it farked my wrist up. I couldn't imagine what would happen if your hair got caught up in that.
 
2012-10-06 07:40:13 AM

oukewldave: Summoner101: No Shake Weight?

It says useless!


I don't need no machine to get that kind of exercise!
 
2012-10-06 07:41:11 AM
Southside Steve Rickman from The Regular Guys in Atlanta, we're looking at you.
 
2012-10-06 07:44:55 AM

GungFu: fluffy2097: Oh man, that back roller thing looks amazing. I bet it would feel awesome right up to the point my hair got caught in it.


I don't think you're supposed to do it in the nude.


Work out and trim the bushes AT THE SAME TIME!!
 
2012-10-06 07:46:07 AM
The video for the ViPR is hilarious..
 
2012-10-06 07:46:09 AM
I was hoping for writeups and explanations on why they were so useless. Not just pictures with a caption saying "Eh! Amirite!"

I guess I was just expecting an actual article. Not just some bullshiat thrown together.

/say what you want, cracked actually hires actual writers and has set a standard for comedy articles
 
2012-10-06 07:51:49 AM
While they may not provide the benefits their ads promise, any resistance movement will help with muscle tone and help burn extra calories. It is easy to mock something if you are not bothered by facts.

Physical therapists use mild resistance bands that are not unlike these devices every day to rehabilitate and tone muscles.
 
2012-10-06 07:51:52 AM

sure haven't: I was hoping for writeups and explanations on why they were so useless. Not just pictures with a caption saying "Eh! Amirite!"

I guess I was just expecting an actual article. Not just some bullshiat thrown together.

/say what you want, cracked actually hires actual writers and has set a standard for comedy articles


Ha! I was thinking the same thing. Just settled down with my morning coffee and Saturday pre-dawn Farkery, and the headline sounded golden. no witty commentary - just a few pics. Lame.
 
2012-10-06 07:54:24 AM

styckx: The video for the ViPR is hilarious..


But those chicks have great legs...
 
2012-10-06 07:59:00 AM
How can you mock VIPR, you need to be certified to teach its use, it must be great


Link Link goes to certification page



10/6/2012
SOLD OUT! ViPR Certification

ViPR Certification _ Sold Out
New York, NY
11/1/2012
ViPR Certification

ViPR Certification
Chicago, IL
11/18/2012
ViPR Certification

ViPR Certification
Open Menu
La Jolla, CA
 
2012-10-06 08:12:30 AM

blackhonda: How can you mock VIPR, you need to be certified to teach its use, it must be great


Link Link goes to certification page



10/6/2012
SOLD OUT! ViPR Certification

ViPR Certification _ Sold Out
New York, NY
11/1/2012
ViPR Certification

ViPR Certification
Chicago, IL
11/18/2012
ViPR Certification

ViPR Certification
Open Menu
La Jolla, CA


oi47.tinypic.com
 
2012-10-06 08:13:39 AM
This link = a short list of crap my ex-wife bought
 
2012-10-06 08:14:47 AM
No $14k ROM? Listfail
 
2012-10-06 08:20:44 AM

syrynxx: Soloflex is awesome. Try benchpressing to exhaustion with freeweights alone and then get back to me if you can ever lift the bar off your throat.



If you're doing it to the point where you cant lift one more, you're doing it wrong.
 
2012-10-06 08:29:21 AM
This must be from the eighties on. The stuff from early 20th century is hilarious.
 
2012-10-06 08:31:08 AM
I vaguely recall on Cracked some sort of green dildo thing that David Carradine was advertising for. Poor bastard really hit his low point there. The suicide was inevitable.
 
2012-10-06 08:35:14 AM
s3-ec.buzzfed.com

I don't know, she seems to be getting her money's worth.
 
2012-10-06 08:38:10 AM
s3-ec.buzzfed.com

So what other colors does she come in?
 
2012-10-06 08:42:03 AM

styckx: The video for the ViPR is hilarious..


If you follow the youtube the link the same guy has over 90 videos all selling his exercise equipment, There is one which is basically a target. You kneel on the floor and tap it alternately with both hands. What a visionary.
 
2012-10-06 08:44:54 AM

themasterdebater: [s3-ec.buzzfed.com image 625x438]

So what other colors does she come in?


Looks like she is coming in green.
 
2012-10-06 08:54:17 AM

GungFu: fluffy2097: Oh man, that back roller thing looks amazing. I bet it would feel awesome right up to the point my hair got caught in it.


I don't think you're supposed to do it in the nude.


BWAHAHAHA!!!!!
 
zez
2012-10-06 08:56:28 AM
My mom bought something off TV similar to this in the 70s

ecx.images-amazon.com
 
2012-10-06 08:56:43 AM
Tanthalas39: No $14k ROM? Listfail

This. All the hell this.

For anyone who doesn't know what the ROM is, google it. It's an absurd all-in-one exercise machine that retailed for $10-$15k (currently offered for as little as just $7k) that looks like an accident at an early-1970s gym and allegedly gives you a complete workout in 4 minutes.

It was designed by an artist as an art project but marketed in a manner that would embarrass The Sharper Image. They used to run full-page ads in the backs of various magazines they thought were purchased by gullible rich people. It's faintly hilarious.
 
2012-10-06 09:00:42 AM
Pretty much anything other than a barbell, a squat rack, and a bench is useless exercise equipment for 99% of people's strength training needs.
 
2012-10-06 09:02:18 AM

Summoner101: oukewldave: Summoner101: No Shake Weight?

It says useless!

I don't need no machine to get that kind of exercise!


You'd think most women would already be experts at that move. Well, straight women anyway.



/be here all week
 
2012-10-06 09:04:01 AM
#3 is actually one of the most useful pieces of equipment. Except its been castrated by laws about human safety.

It needs to weigh a bit more and be a little less flexible.
 
2012-10-06 09:07:37 AM
Ahem...

i235.photobucket.com
 
2012-10-06 09:26:56 AM

blackhonda: While they may not provide the benefits their ads promise, any resistance movement will help with muscle tone and help burn extra calories. It is easy to mock something if you are not bothered by facts.

Physical therapists use mild resistance bands that are not unlike these devices every day to rehabilitate and tone muscles.


There is no such thing as muscle tone. "Toning" is losing fat, and you can't lose fat from a specific body part by exercise alone; the body determines where the fat comes from.
 
2012-10-06 09:27:23 AM
YOU CAN DO IT!
 
2012-10-06 09:32:46 AM
I always loved the thigh master...

And the picture of the young lady here makes me love it even more.
 
2012-10-06 09:35:49 AM

RandomAxe: Tanthalas39: No $14k ROM? Listfail

This. All the hell this.

For anyone who doesn't know what the ROM is, google it. It's an absurd all-in-one exercise machine that retailed for $10-$15k (currently offered for as little as just $7k) that looks like an accident at an early-1970s gym and allegedly gives you a complete workout in 4 minutes.

It was designed by an artist as an art project but marketed in a manner that would embarrass The Sharper Image. They used to run full-page ads in the backs of various magazines they thought were purchased by gullible rich people. It's faintly hilarious.


I saw it in Skymall recently. The ads keep shrinking. But I guess you can sell $20/year and make a living.
 
2012-10-06 09:48:53 AM

zez: My mom bought something off TV similar to this in the 70s

[ecx.images-amazon.com image 300x300]



My ex bought one too, damn rope was made of this cheap plastic that shredded as it passed through the rollers so that you could either lay there and be blinded and suffocated by the crap falling in your face or keep a towel over your face while you "exercised"
 
2012-10-06 09:56:23 AM

machoprogrammer: There is no such thing as muscle tone


Odd that it's used to diagnose many illnesses.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muscle_tone

But no no, carry on, you're a big bad programmer.
 
2012-10-06 10:09:29 AM

TheGreatGazoo: RandomAxe: Tanthalas39: No $14k ROM? Listfail

This. All the hell this.

For anyone who doesn't know what the ROM is, google it. It's an absurd all-in-one exercise machine that retailed for $10-$15k (currently offered for as little as just $7k) that looks like an accident at an early-1970s gym and allegedly gives you a complete workout in 4 minutes.

It was designed by an artist as an art project but marketed in a manner that would embarrass The Sharper Image. They used to run full-page ads in the backs of various magazines they thought were purchased by gullible rich people. It's faintly hilarious.

I saw it in Skymall recently. The ads keep shrinking. But I guess you can sell $20/year and make a living.


I actually did some research on that piece of equipment and it does work. However, I found that the principle behind it is short burst interval training much like the Tabata method. Basically you do full body exercise at an extreme level for short bursts with minimal rest periods - it's difficult and very effective. The fun part is that you can do it virtually for free - just do sprints or squat thrusts or clean and press or some other full body exercise in intervals. There's a 99 cent iPhone app that will give you the interval alarms (user adjustable). Tha actual Tabata routine is virtually impossible to complete - something to work toward,
 
2012-10-06 10:09:35 AM

themasterdebater: [s3-ec.buzzfed.com image 625x438]

So what other colors does she come in?


Your comment reminded me of this (NSFW if you work for prudes)
 
2012-10-06 10:12:56 AM

TheGreatGazoo: I saw it in Skymall recently. The ads keep shrinking. But I guess you can sell $20/year and make a living.


Yes, they're still selling them. I've seen ads in some magazines that I picked up somewhere--good magazines too, like Smithsonian and Nature and places like that. I also wondered who the fark would buy something like that. People who have more money than sense, I guess. "Four-minute workout" indeed. And these people read science magazines......

From their farking website:

1. How can you possibly get a cardio workout in only 4 minutes per day when almost all people, including most "experts" apparently, believe that a cardiovascular workout requires at least 20 to 45 minutes?

TIME REQUIREMENT FOR A CARDIO WORKOUT
The time required for an effective cardio-vascular exercise depends on the degree of oxygen consumption during the workout. The greater the amount of oxygen consumption during the workout, the shorter the required duration of a cardio workout. In other words, the quality of the workout determines the time required. More muscle cells involved means higher oxygen consumption means less time required. In fact the time requirement is exponentially less when the oxygen consumption increases in a linear fashion. The ROM enables even totally out of shape people and seniors to achieve much higher oxygen consumption levels than with ANY OTHER FORM OF CONVENTIONAL EXERCISE and therefore they can shorten their exercise periods while getting superior results.
 
2012-10-06 10:16:47 AM

Quantum Apostrophe: machoprogrammer: There is no such thing as muscle tone

Odd that it's used to diagnose many illnesses.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muscle_tone

But no no, carry on, you're a big bad programmer.


There is such a thing as muscle tone, it's the visibility of musculature, usually in relation to bodyfat %.

His overall point still stands, though, as there isn't such a thing as "muscle toning" exercises or exercise equipment. There's simply muscle building and fat loss.
 
2012-10-06 10:18:07 AM

memebot_of_doom: [s3-ec.buzzfed.com image 625x438]

I don't know, she seems to be getting her money's worth.


One on the left is post-O and the one on the right is about to arrive. So, yeah, considering in those days women weren't supposed to touch themselves, seems like a good bargain.
 
2012-10-06 10:25:59 AM
i gotta take issue with his views on the Bullworker. I have a regular Bullworker and a Steel Bow and get great results with them.
 
2012-10-06 10:28:53 AM

theToadMan: fluffy2097: Oh man, that back roller thing looks amazing. I bet it would feel awesome right up to the point my hair got caught in it.

But you got to admit. That skin tight onesy is hot


Damn right it is. So revealing, yet totally covered.
 
2012-10-06 10:37:41 AM

Quantum Apostrophe: machoprogrammer: There is no such thing as muscle tone

Odd that it's used to diagnose many illnesses.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muscle_tone

But no no, carry on, you're a big bad programmer.


Let me rephrase it then, because apparently you couldn't detect I meant it in the way he was using it. Muscle toning, in the way he was referring to it, doesn't exist. Doing 1000 situps doesn't give you 6pack abs and doing 1000 bicep curls don't make your arms more toned. Better?
 
2012-10-06 10:41:25 AM

AxL sANe: Tha actual Tabata routine is virtually impossible to complete - something to work toward,


I don't think anyone can do Tabata on their own. You'd need a coach yelling in your face in the most bipolar fashion seen outside of a mental ward.

As it is, I use a rowing machine for high intensity cardio. Redline my heart for up to 2 minutes, recover for one. I don't think I could max out my system in a Tabata fashion without destroying the machine.
 
2012-10-06 10:46:38 AM

Deathfrogg: syrynxx: Soloflex is awesome. Try benchpressing to exhaustion with freeweights alone and then get back to me if you can ever lift the bar off your throat.


If you're doing it to the point where you cant lift one more, you're doing it wrong.


Quite a few reps are supposed to be done to exhaustion, sometimes people over estimate what they can lift that ine last time.
 
2012-10-06 10:52:02 AM
The only exercise equipment you need is a barbell, weights, a power rack and a bench. These few things, when used properly, are more effective than everything else.
 
2012-10-06 10:57:36 AM

RandomAxe: For anyone who doesn't know what the ROM is, google it. It's an absurd all-in-one exercise machine that retailed for $10-$15k


www.fastexercise.com

2.bp.blogspot.com

www.corbisimages.com
 
2012-10-06 11:01:17 AM

blackhonda: While they may not provide the benefits their ads promise, any resistance movement will help with muscle tone and help burn extra calories. It is easy to mock something if you are not bothered by facts.

Physical therapists use mild resistance bands that are not unlike these devices every day to rehabilitate and tone muscles.


Citation needed or something to fix this nonsensical language... All relaxed muscles have muscle tone (partial contraction) unless you are suffering from a neurologic disorder.

I think that the point is stressing a muscle is usually good for the muscle, but it wont usually do anything magical for the muscle's appearance. In many cases, high volume training even at low weight resistance will cause some muscle hypertrophy which will aid in what many lay people call "muscle definition" or the ability to see one's muscles more clearly...but that usually requires weight loss/very small deposits of subcutaneous fat in the area of the muscle. Additionally, there are more efficient ways to gain hypertrophy than through low or "mild" resistance training.

Physical therapists use low resistance exercises for reasons having nothing to do with hypertrophy (usually), muscle definition or "muscle tone".
 
2012-10-06 11:11:05 AM

Deathfrogg: syrynxx: Soloflex is awesome. Try benchpressing to exhaustion with freeweights alone and then get back to me if you can ever lift the bar off your throat.


If you're doing it to the point where you cant lift one more, you're doing it wrong.


Citation needed. I realize you may be joking but muscle exhaustion is the definition of a rep max, which is a major measure of resistance training intensity.

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Quantum Apostrophe: machoprogrammer: There is no such thing as muscle tone

Odd that it's used to diagnose many illnesses.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muscle_tone
...
There is such a thing as muscle tone, it's the visibility of musculature, usually in relation to bodyfat %.

His overall point still stands, though, as there isn't such a thing as "muscle toning" exercises or exercise equipment. There's simply muscle building and fat loss.


Did anyone actually read the wiki? Muscle tone has nothing to do with the visibility of musculature. Muscle tone is a physiological term. I believe the closest correct term for what you are trying to say is "muscle definition" or "sculpting".

And, true, that there is no such thing as spot reduction. We all must lose weight, build muscle and hope for the best.
 
2012-10-06 11:11:47 AM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Quantum Apostrophe: machoprogrammer: There is no such thing as muscle tone

Odd that it's used to diagnose many illnesses.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muscle_tone

But no no, carry on, you're a big bad programmer.

There is such a thing as muscle tone, it's the visibility of musculature, usually in relation to bodyfat %.

His overall point still stands, though, as there isn't such a thing as "muscle toning" exercises or exercise equipment. There's simply musclefat building and fat loss.

 
2012-10-06 11:12:40 AM

madpiper: i gotta take issue with his views on the Bullworker. I have a regular Bullworker and a Steel Bow and get great results with them.


Ditto here. I bought one about 35 years ago, and, after using it for a month or so, I started seeing something in my peripheral vision that I thought was something behind me. It was my farking deltoids!!
 
2012-10-06 11:23:20 AM

BraveNewCheneyWorld: The only exercise equipment you need is a barbell, weights, a power rack and a bench. These few things, when used properly, are more effective than everything else.


What I laugh at is that people feel the need to buy expensive equipment or programs, its amazing in this day and age they cant just Google exercises on the inter webs.
Also people that say they didn't have the right equipment to remain in shape while never realizing they have a floor and arms to accomplish that feat.
 
2012-10-06 11:38:58 AM

BraveNewCheneyWorld: The only exercise equipment you need is a barbell, weights, a power rack and a bench. These few things, when used properly, are more effective than everything else.


I wouldn't buy one, but cable machines are nice to have for a few ab exercises, like cable crunches and diagonal woodchops. A pull-up bar is also handy, and some exercises are nice to do with dumbbells instead of a barbell.
 
2012-10-06 11:45:57 AM

Earguy: RandomAxe: For anyone who doesn't know what the ROM is, google it. It's an absurd all-in-one exercise machine that retailed for $10-$15k

[www.fastexercise.com image 440x202]

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 400x238]

[www.corbisimages.com image 640x426]


Looks like a dogsled racing wheelchair.
 
2012-10-06 11:52:13 AM
However you meant it, any activity over your baseline lifewill help you improve you overall health
 
2012-10-06 11:53:46 AM

steamingpile: BraveNewCheneyWorld: The only exercise equipment you need is a barbell, weights, a power rack and a bench. These few things, when used properly, are more effective than everything else.

What I laugh at is that people feel the need to buy expensive equipment or programs, its amazing in this day and age they cant just Google exercises on the inter webs.
Also people that say they didn't have the right equipment to remain in shape while never realizing they have a floor and arms to accomplish that feat.


it's all in the brain. I won't mention names, but someone that looks exactly like my wife decided she would start running to lose weight. She bought a high-tech water bottle, ungodly expensive running shoes, special bra, running outfit, pulse meter thingy, pedometer....and ran exactly ONE time. Now there's a new gym opening in the same building as her office. She joined for $180 per month. Nevermind the Y costs like a third of that. This past week was her first week. She didn't make it yet, but she did get up early enough one day and realized it was raining and traffic is really bad when it rains so she thought she better wait it out otherwise she'd be in traffic all morning, blah, blah, blah. We also have a bicycle that has never been riden (but my oldest daughter has dibs on it when she's old enough to reach the peddals). We have a treadmill that my son likes to play beyblades on. And we have a stationary bike that I never put together because I've learned my lesson. It's all in the brain.
 
2012-10-06 11:59:19 AM

blackhonda: However you meant it, any activity over your baseline lifewill help you improve you overall health


Activity and exercise are good for your health, but the point of a list like this is that people should be given reasonable expectations going into an activity or a purchase. A shake weight is a waste of time and money when you would be doing more good for your muscles doing push ups or squats.

You would be improving your health more going for a walk and you might even be helping your muscles more doing a number of cardio exercises out there. Swinging a jump rope probably does more for your forearm strength/endurance than a shake weight does. Ignorant people get lulled into misinformation about exercise and then have extremely negative experiences when they get injured or see no results from quack products or exercise systems. The last thing you want is for people to write off exercise altogether.
 
2012-10-06 12:04:09 PM

steamingpile: BraveNewCheneyWorld: The only exercise equipment you need is a barbell, weights, a power rack and a bench. These few things, when used properly, are more effective than everything else.

What I laugh at is that people feel the need to buy expensive equipment or programs, its amazing in this day and age they cant just Google exercises on the inter webs.
Also people that say they didn't have the right equipment to remain in shape while never realizing they have a floor and arms to accomplish that feat.


Body weight exercises are great if you have no equipment, but you'll never reach your body's full potential.
 
2012-10-06 12:07:27 PM

syrynxx: Soloflex is awesome. Try benchpressing to exhaustion with freeweights alone and then get back to me if you can ever lift the bar off your throat.


Option 1: Draft a spotter. Only do one set to failure, so as to minimize the wastage of everyone's time. Option 2: use dumbells. Option 3: Don't let the weight come down on your neck, ever. If you can't get another rep from the bar's resting point on your chest, roll it down your body onto your lap and stand up, dumping it off to the side. If you're strong, it will be a lot of weight, and it won't be a pleasant experience, leaving a trail of bruises down your torso, but at least you got out from under...
 
2012-10-06 12:09:01 PM
trimadnessblog.files.wordpress.com

That will be all.
 
2012-10-06 12:09:54 PM
FTFA: This useless rubber tube is called the ViPR. Their site claims you can do...9,000 exercises with it. NINE THOUSAND.

encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com

Almost approves.
 
2012-10-06 12:20:17 PM
I can only hope we bring back the truth in advertising laws one day and get this crap off the market. Along with snake oil like sensa.
 
2012-10-06 12:23:44 PM

BraveNewCheneyWorld: The only exercise equipment you need is a barbell, weights, a power rack and a bench. These few things, when used properly, are more effective than everything else.


No jump rope?
 
2012-10-06 12:27:24 PM

Too Pretty For Prison: steamingpile: BraveNewCheneyWorld: The only exercise equipment you need is a barbell, weights, a power rack and a bench. These few things, when used properly, are more effective than everything else.

What I laugh at is that people feel the need to buy expensive equipment or programs, its amazing in this day and age they cant just Google exercises on the inter webs.
Also people that say they didn't have the right equipment to remain in shape while never realizing they have a floor and arms to accomplish that feat.

it's all in the brain. I won't mention names, but someone that looks exactly like my wife decided she would start running to lose weight. She bought a high-tech water bottle, ungodly expensive running shoes, special bra, running outfit, pulse meter thingy, pedometer....and ran exactly ONE time. Now there's a new gym opening in the same building as her office. She joined for $180 per month. Nevermind the Y costs like a third of that. This past week was her first week. She didn't make it yet, but she did get up early enough one day and realized it was raining and traffic is really bad when it rains so she thought she bette. wait it out otherwise she'd be in traffic all morning, blah, blah, blah. We also have a bicycle that has never been riden (but my oldest daughter has dibs on it when she's old enough to reach the peddals). We have a treadmill that my son likes to play beyblades on. And we have a stationary bike that I never put together because I've learned my lesson. It's all in the brain.


Anyone who loads up on running equipment before sticking with it for a couple of months is a chump. Almost everyone already owns a pair of running shoes and some form of workout clothes, and those will take you through the first few weeks. After that, get a professional shoe fitting. Anything else can be acquired if and when needed.
 
2012-10-06 12:31:10 PM

Quantum Apostrophe: machoprogrammer: There is no such thing as muscle tone

Odd that it's used to diagnose many illnesses.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muscle_tone

But no no, carry on, you're a big bad programmer.


I think what he's saying is that spot reduction doesn't work, and he's correct.
 
2012-10-06 12:38:42 PM

Nogale: BraveNewCheneyWorld: The only exercise equipment you need is a barbell, weights, a power rack and a bench. These few things, when used properly, are more effective than everything else.

No jump rope?


I never understood the jump rope. It just seems like a device to make you look less silly while you jump in place. For cardio, I'd rather just run, at least the view changes.
 
2012-10-06 12:40:04 PM
There are three main pieces of equipment you need: a barbell w/ weights, a bench, and a squat rack. From here there are more than enough exercises to do.
 
2012-10-06 12:40:34 PM

elysive: We all must lose weight, build muscle and hope for the best.



By no means an expert here, but I've never seen someone with "toned" 6-pack abs, but the rest of his body was flabby and untoned.  I think its an all or nothing thing.
 
I'm right handed, so I use my right arm much, much more for everything.  I'm not a muscular guy, but if I flex both biceps, one is not bigger than the other.
 
2012-10-06 12:44:54 PM

Nogale: Anyone who loads up on running equipment before sticking with it for a couple of months is a chump.



Now that my unhealthy lifestyle is starting to show, I'm getting slowly into actually exercising my lazy ass.  I'm starting with just walking briskly every other day or so for maybe 30 minutes.
 
I actually want a treadmill because doing so in the summers down here (100 degrees, high humidity) made me feel like death.  Especially since I don't live an active life (sit behind a computer).  Now... that being said, I'm looking for a dirt-cheap used treadmill.  I don't need anything fancy.
 
Once fall actually hits down here, I won't need that.  But the winters can be cold too, which psycologically pushes another excuse to skip a day.
 
2012-10-06 12:54:10 PM

xanadian: FTFA: This useless rubber tube is called the ViPR. Their site claims you can do...9,000 exercises with it. NINE THOUSAND.

[encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com image 240x180]

Almost approves.


They forgot one... don't use it. There. 9001, over 9000, does this make Prince Vegeta happy?
 
2012-10-06 12:56:09 PM

BraveNewCheneyWorld: Nogale: BraveNewCheneyWorld: The only exercise equipment you need is a barbell, weights, a power rack and a bench. These few things, when used properly, are more effective than everything else.

No jump rope?

I never understood the jump rope. It just seems like a device to make you look less silly while you jump in place. For cardio, I'd rather just run, at least the view changes.


You get the same cardio and calorie burn doing jumping jacks. But the rope is about building coordination.
 
2012-10-06 12:57:39 PM

downstairs: Nogale: Anyone who loads up on running equipment before sticking with it for a couple of months is a chump.


Now that my unhealthy lifestyle is starting to show, I'm getting slowly into actually exercising my lazy ass.  I'm starting with just walking briskly every other day or so for maybe 30 minutes.
 
I actually want a treadmill because doing so in the summers down here (100 degrees, high humidity) made me feel like death.  Especially since I don't live an active life (sit behind a computer).  Now... that being said, I'm looking for a dirt-cheap used treadmill.  I don't need anything fancy.
 
Once fall actually hits down here, I won't need that.  But the winters can be cold too, which psycologically pushes another excuse to skip a day.


I can understand that. We have deathly summers here, as well. But it's October, so you should have a good couple of months to run outside. I really advise a three-month test period before investing in a treadmill, dirt cheap or not. BTW - cold is good for running. It's more comfortable and you burn more calories.
 
2012-10-06 01:00:19 PM

Nogale: Too Pretty For Prison: steamingpile: BraveNewCheneyWorld: The only exercise equipment you need is a barbell, weights, a power rack and a bench. These few things, when used properly, are more effective than everything else.

What I laugh at is that people feel the need to buy expensive equipment or programs, its amazing in this day and age they cant just Google exercises on the inter webs.
Also people that say they didn't have the right equipment to remain in shape while never realizing they have a floor and arms to accomplish that feat.

it's all in the brain. I won't mention names, but someone that looks exactly like my wife decided she would start running to lose weight. She bought a high-tech water bottle, ungodly expensive running shoes, special bra, running outfit, pulse meter thingy, pedometer....and ran exactly ONE time. Now there's a new gym opening in the same building as her office. She joined for $180 per month. Nevermind the Y costs like a third of that. This past week was her first week. She didn't make it yet, but she did get up early enough one day and realized it was raining and traffic is really bad when it rains so she thought she bette. wait it out otherwise she'd be in traffic all morning, blah, blah, blah. We also have a bicycle that has never been riden (but my oldest daughter has dibs on it when she's old enough to reach the peddals). We have a treadmill that my son likes to play beyblades on. And we have a stationary bike that I never put together because I've learned my lesson. It's all in the brain.

Anyone who loads up on running equipment before sticking with it for a couple of months is a chump. Almost everyone already owns a pair of running shoes and some form of workout clothes, and those will take you through the first few weeks. After that, get a professional shoe fitting. Anything else can be acquired if and when needed.


Chump? Yes. the industry depends on chumps - just like gyms depend on chumps signing up and never coming. According to ABC News 60% of memberships go unused. If you google around that number goes as high as 80%. That's my point. People think if they buy this equipment or join they gym they'll use it. They most likely won't. After she bought the stationary bike 2 years ago and finally realized I didn't assemble it for her about 6 months ago I was able to convince her to stop buying equipment that won't get used. By the way, I told my wife you called her a chump. She's coming over to kick your ass. But don't worry - she said she's going to run over, so I doubt you'll ever actually see her - it's raining. LOL
 
2012-10-06 01:03:56 PM

Nogale: downstairs: Nogale: Anyone who loads up on running equipment before sticking with it for a couple of months is a chump.


Now that my unhealthy lifestyle is starting to show, I'm getting slowly into actually exercising my lazy ass.  I'm starting with just walking briskly every other day or so for maybe 30 minutes.
 
I actually want a treadmill because doing so in the summers down here (100 degrees, high humidity) made me feel like death.  Especially since I don't live an active life (sit behind a computer).  Now... that being said, I'm looking for a dirt-cheap used treadmill.  I don't need anything fancy.
 
Once fall actually hits down here, I won't need that.  But the winters can be cold too, which psycologically pushes another excuse to skip a day.

I can understand that. We have deathly summers here, as well. But it's October, so you should have a good couple of months to run outside. I really advise a three-month test period before investing in a treadmill, dirt cheap or not. BTW - cold is good for running. It's more comfortable and you burn more calories.



Well, the dirt cheap may actually be free from the in-laws, if we can find a way to get it from Deleware to New Orleans.
 
2012-10-06 01:07:19 PM

Too Pretty For Prison: Nogale: Too Pretty For Prison: steamingpile: BraveNewCheneyWorld: The only exercise equipment you need is a barbell, weights, a power rack and a bench. These few things, when used properly, are more effective than everything else.

What I laugh at is that people feel the need to buy expensive equipment or programs, its amazing in this day and age they cant just Google exercises on the inter webs.
Also people that say they didn't have the right equipment to remain in shape while never realizing they have a floor and arms to accomplish that feat.

it's all in the brain. I won't mention names, but someone that looks exactly like my wife decided she would start running to lose weight. She bought a high-tech water bottle, ungodly expensive running shoes, special bra, running outfit, pulse meter thingy, pedometer....and ran exactly ONE time. Now there's a new gym opening in the same building as her office. She joined for $180 per month. Nevermind the Y costs like a third of that. This past week was her first week. She didn't make it yet, but she did get up early enough one day and realized it was raining and traffic is really bad when it rains so she thought she bette. wait it out otherwise she'd be in traffic all morning, blah, blah, blah. We also have a bicycle that has never been riden (but my oldest daughter has dibs on it when she's old enough to reach the peddals). We have a treadmill that my son likes to play beyblades on. And we have a stationary bike that I never put together because I've learned my lesson. It's all in the brain.

Anyone who loads up on running equipment before sticking with it for a couple of months is a chump. Almost everyone already owns a pair of running shoes and some form of workout clothes, and those will take you through the first few weeks. After that, get a professional shoe fitting. Anything else can be acquired if and when needed.

Chump? Yes. the industry depends on chumps - just like gyms depend on chumps signing up a ...


hahaha - even if she tried, I actually, you know, RUN, so I can easily outpace her.
 
2012-10-06 01:10:18 PM

xanadian: FTFA: This useless rubber tube is called the ViPR. Their site claims you can do...9,000 exercises with it. NINE THOUSAND.


This has 82 functions...83 if you count lighting a cigarette.

i94.photobucket.com
 
2012-10-06 01:16:39 PM
Twenty six minutes is almost up for some of the folks in this thread
 
2012-10-06 01:18:51 PM

BraveNewCheneyWorld: steamingpile: BraveNewCheneyWorld: The only exercise equipment you need is a barbell, weights, a power rack and a bench. These few things, when used properly, are more effective than everything else.

What I laugh at is that people feel the need to buy expensive equipment or programs, its amazing in this day and age they cant just Google exercises on the inter webs.
Also people that say they didn't have the right equipment to remain in shape while never realizing they have a floor and arms to accomplish that feat.

Body weight exercises are great if you have no equipment, but you'll never reach your body's full potential.


3.bp.blogspot.com

True, good resistance training ought to do the trick
 
2012-10-06 01:52:07 PM
www.dragondoor.com

and some running shoes!
 
2012-10-06 02:04:24 PM
s3.vidimg.popscreen.com

Let's not forget the Square Master and its patented dynamic square shape.
 
2012-10-06 02:10:18 PM
Link

My mother had one of these back in the 1960's. Ridiculous piece of 'equipment'.
 
2012-10-06 02:18:51 PM

BraveNewCheneyWorld: steamingpile: BraveNewCheneyWorld: The only exercise equipment you need is a barbell, weights, a power rack and a bench. These few things, when used properly, are more effective than everything else.

What I laugh at is that people feel the need to buy expensive equipment or programs, its amazing in this day and age they cant just Google exercises on the inter webs.
Also people that say they didn't have the right equipment to remain in shape while never realizing they have a floor and arms to accomplish that feat.

Body weight exercises are great if you have no equipment, but you'll never reach your body's full potential.


While true - most people are so out of shape a year or so of well done body weight exercises in a circuit would likely be just as beneficial as heavier resistance with less overall risk of injury.

I suppose it depends on whether the goal is strength training or fitness/endurance training. They aren't necessarily the same thing.

//Now don't mind me, I have to go downstairs to my gym. Just got a new smith machine that needs broken in.
 
2012-10-06 02:21:34 PM

fluffy2097: Oh man, that back roller thing looks amazing. I bet it would feel awesome right up to the point my hair got caught in it.


They had one of those things in the "lobby" of my racquetball gym in the 80's. The rollers were spindles of wood shaped by a lathe. I swear that thing was dreamed up as a way to make a buck off the millions of bath/entry half wall spindles sitting in lumberyards after they went out of style. Anyway, it was NOT comfortable. It was purported to "loosen" subcutaneous fat. I guess after the fat detached it was supposed to migrate spontaneously to your intestines.

Dumbest POS ever.
 
2012-10-06 02:26:07 PM

Deathfrogg: syrynxx: Soloflex is awesome. Try benchpressing to exhaustion with freeweights alone and then get back to me if you can ever lift the bar off your throat.


If you're doing it to the point where you cant lift one more, you're doing it wrong.


You sound like a real kinesiology expert.

///You don't need weights, but max reps of any exercise (push-ups, pull-ups, dips), including bench pressing with safety procedures, works wonders.
 
2012-10-06 02:30:09 PM

zez: My mom bought something off TV similar to this in the 70s

[ecx.images-amazon.com image 300x300]


Did you know your mom was into BDSM?
 
2012-10-06 02:43:13 PM

downstairs: elysive: We all must lose weight, build muscle and hope for the best.


By no means an expert here, but I've never seen someone with "toned" 6-pack abs, but the rest of his body was flabby and untoned.  I think its an all or nothing thing.
 
I'm right handed, so I use my right arm much, much more for everything.  I'm not a muscular guy, but if I flex both biceps, one is not bigger than the other.


I dont know what youre getting at. There are plenty of fit and muscular people who dont have six packs. A lot of muscular "definition" is about where you store your fat. Lots of men have big arms and chicken legs because thy never work their lower bodies. Its pretty much the opposite for women. You rarely see huge bilateral asymmetries because nobody wants asymmetrical hypertrophy, but most people are stronger on one side than the other. Its called muscular imbalance and having too great of an imbalance can cause injury. This imbalance can occur also if you work your biceps, but not your triceps for instance.
 
2012-10-06 02:53:21 PM

steamingpile: BraveNewCheneyWorld: The only exercise equipment you need is a barbell, weights, a power rack and a bench. These few things, when used properly, are more effective than everything else.

What I laugh at is that people feel the need to buy expensive equipment or programs, its amazing in this day and age they cant just Google exercises on the inter webs.
Also people that say they didn't have the right equipment to remain in shape while never realizing they have a floor and arms to accomplish that feat.


I certainly agree with regard to equipment but not with "programs" at all. I've been exercising for 25 years and I can tell you unequivocally it works best for me when following a rigorous program. I just cannot develop an intense and varied series of workouts on my own as well as good professionals can.

////Last couple of years I've been doing P90X. Is it douchie/gay/cheesy? Yes. Does it work if you give your best effort? Like HE double hockey sticks.
 
2012-10-06 03:25:34 PM

downstairs: elysive: We all must lose weight, build muscle and hope for the best.


By no means an expert here, but I've never seen someone with "toned" 6-pack abs, but the rest of his body was flabby and untoned.  I think its an all or nothing thing.
 
I'm right handed, so I use my right arm much, much more for everything.  I'm not a muscular guy, but if I flex both biceps, one is not bigger than the other.


I'm not incredibly muscular, but I work out and have a low BF %, so I have pretty good definition. All of the muscles in my right arm are visibly larger than in my left, despite hitting both sides about equally during actual exercises.
 
2012-10-06 03:32:32 PM
No mention of the tug toner?

static1.ucm.co.za
 
2012-10-06 03:46:11 PM

maggoo: No mention of the tug toner?

[static1.ucm.co.za image 300x200]


WANT
 
2012-10-06 04:21:48 PM

Scaryduck: This link = a short list of crap my ex-wife bought


^^^^
 
2012-10-06 06:11:49 PM

Earguy: RandomAxe: For anyone who doesn't know what the ROM is, google it. It's an absurd all-in-one exercise machine that retailed for $10-$15k

[www.fastexercise.com image 440x202]

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 400x238]

[www.corbisimages.com image 640x426]


It looks like it should have time-travel capabilities.
 
2012-10-06 06:31:17 PM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: There is such a thing as muscle tone, it's the visibility of musculature, usually in relation to bodyfat %.


Nope.

In physiology, medicine, and anatomy, muscle tone (residual muscle tension or tonus) is the continuous and passive partial contraction of the muscles, or the muscle's resistance to passive stretch during resting state.

- O'Sullivan, S. B. (2007). Examination of motor function: Motor control and motor learning, Physical rehabilitation (5th ed.) (pp. 233-234). Philadelphia, PA: F. A. Davis Company
 
2012-10-06 06:36:12 PM

iivel: While true - most people are so out of shape a year or so of well done body weight exercises in a circuit would likely be just as beneficial as heavier resistance with less overall risk of injury.


A year is far too long. You'd be wasting your time with body weight exercises as your body adapts far more quickly than that. Unless you have an injury or are extremely old or frail, you can start doing a program like Rippetoe's Starting Strength. If you're concerned about injury, you can literally start out with nothing but the bar and in a year (most likely far less time) you'll be 3x as strong as your starting max lifts. I guarantee you won't get that kind of result from doing body weight exercises.

iivel: I suppose it depends on whether the goal is strength training or fitness/endurance training. They aren't necessarily the same thing.


Unless you're talking about cardio, endurance and strength are two sides of a coin, however strength training is more beneficial since for a given weight, acquiring more strength will give more endurance, but working at a lower weight and building max reps will have a lesser effect on your max lift. It's better to build your strength first, and contrary to popular myth, you won't look like a steroid freak from proper strength training, you'll just look very fit.
 
2012-10-06 06:36:23 PM

notatrollorami: steamingpile: BraveNewCheneyWorld: The only exercise equipment you need is a barbell, weights, a power rack and a bench. These few things, when used properly, are more effective than everything else.

What I laugh at is that people feel the need to buy expensive equipment or programs, its amazing in this day and age they cant just Google exercises on the inter webs.
Also people that say they didn't have the right equipment to remain in shape while never realizing they have a floor and arms to accomplish that feat.

I certainly agree with regard to equipment but not with "programs" at all. I've been exercising for 25 years and I can tell you unequivocally it works best for me when following a rigorous program. I just cannot develop an intense and varied series of workouts on my own as well as good professionals can.


That and it makes it easier for people who are motivated by someone just laying it out for them. They are willing to put in the 1 hour a day or whatever to exercise, but aren't motivated by the idea of having to do a bunch of research and legwork to get to the point where they can even start.
 
2012-10-06 06:36:53 PM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Pretty much anything other than a barbell, a squat rack, and a bench basic calisthenics is useless exercise equipment for 99% of people's strength training needs.


FTFY.
 
2012-10-06 06:41:21 PM

BraveNewCheneyWorld: A year is far too long. You'd be wasting your time with body weight exercises as your body adapts far more quickly than that.


I dunno. Depends on which ones.
Male gymnasts typically do mostly bodyweight-only exercises, making it more difficult is just a matter of changing the amount of leverage you have.
 
2012-10-06 07:05:27 PM

clyph: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Pretty much anything other than a barbell, a squat rack, and a bench basic calisthenics is useless exercise equipment for 99% of people's strength training needs.

FTFY.


That's not remotely true at all. You'll never reach the level of intensity required to trigger hormonal changes required to grow muscle doing calisthenics. If you're out of shape, sure, you'll make progress, but you'll plateau much earlier, and have no tools to break the plateau. A bar, bench and power rack are essential to reach your maximum potential. There's a reason why the most fit people in the world use equipment, and that's because it's essential. Naturally, if you exercise without equipment, you're better off than 90% of the population, but you won't perform as well as someone who uses resistance in a proper manner.

Gawdzila: BraveNewCheneyWorld: A year is far too long. You'd be wasting your time with body weight exercises as your body adapts far more quickly than that.

I dunno. Depends on which ones.
Male gymnasts typically do mostly bodyweight-only exercises, making it more difficult is just a matter of changing the amount of leverage you have.


True, but they have a specific goal of building power and limiting excess weight, which makes body weight training preferable. If they're lacking in power, they would reach their goals faster with legitimate strength training. They would just have to know when it's time to back off and return to calisthenics only to avoid gaining excess mass for their particular sport. Quite honestly though, I just don't see the use of gymnastics outside of a competition, however strength is almost always useful... to a limit of course, I personally don't want to look like a potato with a mohawk
 
2012-10-06 07:48:03 PM

BraveNewCheneyWorld: I personally don't want to look like a potato with a mohawk


Looks like he needed to wrap every bit of him so he didn't explode. That is not natural.
 
2012-10-06 08:48:10 PM

BraveNewCheneyWorld: The only exercise equipment you need is a barbell, weights, a power rack and a bench. These few things, when used properly, are more effective than everything else.


i.imgur.com
Disagrees.
 
2012-10-06 08:52:10 PM

Gleeman: BraveNewCheneyWorld: The only exercise equipment you need is a barbell, weights, a power rack and a bench. These few things, when used properly, are more effective than everything else.

[i.imgur.com image 200x300]
Disagrees.


Body weight only? Bullshiat. What does he do for the traps? Upside down shrugs?
 
2012-10-06 09:11:27 PM

BraveNewCheneyWorld: The only exercise equipment you need is a barbell, weights, a power rack and a bench. These few things, when used properly, are more effective than everything else.


Amen brother. A chinning bar and dipping bars wouldn't hurt either.
 
2012-10-06 09:39:45 PM

Buffet: BraveNewCheneyWorld: The only exercise equipment you need is a barbell, weights, a power rack and a bench. These few things, when used properly, are more effective than everything else.

Amen brother. A chinning bar and dipping bars wouldn't hurt either.


You could chin and pull up from most power racks, you probably just have to curl your legs, but that's not a big deal. Dips could also be done if you finagle a rig with a couple bars on the rack to keep them stable too, but you're right, include those 2 and you have something for every part of your body.
 
2012-10-07 02:39:12 AM
I seem to be getting decent results with the tower 200 when I'm at work (I work on a remote mine site). Although it also might be the cheap speed I've been taking as my pre-work supplement.

My routine is ; alarm goes off at 4am, drink pre-work out formula. Roll back to sleep
4:30 am the pre-work out formula has kicked in and I'm wide awake, do a 40min workout, have a shower and go to breakfast.
Be at work by 6am, stay till 6pm, have dinner, go to the bar and drink until 10 , go to bed.... Rinse and repeat.

It might get a little different now that dmaa is illegal to have in supplements . Anyone got a good alternative?
 
2012-10-07 08:47:49 PM

Hermit Tard: Although it also might be the cheap speed I've been taking as my pre-work supplement.


You could always snag yourself an adult add diagnosis and get hmo subsidized pharmaceutical grade stimulants.
 
2012-10-08 10:16:39 PM

BraveNewCheneyWorld: Gleeman: BraveNewCheneyWorld: The only exercise equipment you need is a barbell, weights, a power rack and a bench. These few things, when used properly, are more effective than everything else.

[i.imgur.com image 200x300]
Disagrees.

Body weight only? Bullshiat. What does he do for the traps? Upside down shrugs?


Press-up. Get youself upside down with arms extended, toes resting against a smooth wall. Lower yourself slowly until your head hits the floor. Push yourself back up until your arms are straight. It doesn't offer quite the range of motion that a press with weights would, but if you can do this in a set of 15, you're fairly powerful, at least in the physical sense.
 
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