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    More: Sad, I-81, Virginia State Police, trucks  
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26301 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Oct 2012 at 3:23 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-10-05 04:44:32 PM
I drove past this today, It looked really bad.
 
2012-10-05 04:44:53 PM

halfof33: ransack.: You don't know funny, n00b

I don't think that Spent smiles is going to sleep with you, Biff.

But i guess you are one of those guys who forwards his posts to your "google group" huh? Actually That's a pretty funny image.

I imagine you sitting in your parent's- no grandmother's- basement, with some kind of headset apparatus on your acne pocked melon, snorting with laughter. Your potato fingers stab at an oversized keypad and suddenly your only friend in the world, Gnuyn your pen pal from Cambodia, answers the phone and you grunt to him in your exclusive made-up pet language that he should check out fark.com and read his post.

Of course he has no idea what you are talking about. He never has. But he clucks into the receiver slavishly because your mom keeps sending him ten dollar bills every christmas so he has to be nice to you.

You chuckle some more, careful not to spill your capri sun, and then finger type a post bookended by some dazzling html that makes it stand out from all the others with its bold color. You are so proud of yourself that you don't bother to read any other comments, you simply 'ctl f' your login over and over again to keep track of all the felating responses to your superior humor. Gnuyn laughs nervously. You take that as a compliment.

You reread your posts until you become aroused and have to start typing one-handed. You come close to climaxing when you find someone who spelled "you are" as "your." Deep down you wish you had someone else to call that would actually listen to your nonsense- and you know it's nonsense. If you posted anything close to a rational thought no one would respond to you- you know, you've tried. So you blather on. You pray that someone will reply in the same way most of us pray we had two dicks. Perhaps we can borrow yours? Since you've never bothered to use it?

You briefly wonder what it would be like to be with a woman. A second later you regain control and resume stabbing your alienware keyboard with ...


halfof33: /You are trying too hard, champ.

 
2012-10-05 04:48:18 PM

spentmiles: This closed the highway into work this morning for over two hours. I was stuck in traffic for about three and a half. This morning at the gym was weights and I always pound a protein shake just before I leave the gym. It's an off and on kind of thing, but sometimes the shakes give me explosive diarrhea. Those mornings, I have to speed and sprint into the office before I shame myself. Wouldn't you know that I had an attack this morning sitting in traffic.

It was especially bad because I was right up alongside where the truck was overturned. The accident mangled the driver pretty bad, so they were basically cutting chunks of him out of the vehicle and throwing them into a pile alongside the road. He was a big fat bastard, like most of them, so the pile was a good four feet high. That's a pretty barren stretch otherwise, so I didn't have much choice but to try to hide behind the body and do my business.

I don't know if it's much a consolation to anyone else who was stuck in this traffic, but I crapped on him pretty good and then used his flannel to wipe with. Check your tires before you ruin everyone's Friday, asshole.


You should publish your short story posts as a book. I would buy it.
 
2012-10-05 04:52:15 PM
Edwin M. Tam, 59, died at the scene of the crash, Virginia State Police say. Police say they believe Tam was wearing a seatbelt at the time of the crash.

See, click-it-or-ticket Nazis? Seat belts DON'T save lives (not always, anyway.)
 
2012-10-05 04:52:50 PM

kisseswookies: Actually, THAT'S trying too hard.


Actually, it's not.

It's not even relevant, it's just insults with no meaning. It's probably copypasta.
 
2012-10-05 05:07:19 PM

theMagni: It's not even relevant, it's just insults with no meaning. It's probably copypasta


It is sorta Fark famous.

At least it used to be.

It was from another guy who used to try too hard.
 
2012-10-05 05:08:05 PM
This is eerily similar to an episode of Busytown Mysteries with Huckle the Cat. Were there daisies near the scene of the accident?
 
2012-10-05 05:14:50 PM

Rabbitgod: I drove past this today, It looked really bad.


Did you happen to see the guy squatting behind the driver's carcass? I hear he works out.
 
2012-10-05 05:19:33 PM

Dead for Tax Reasons: [2.bp.blogspot.com image 295x298]


Possum picked the wrong time to cross the road. Just like this raccoon did:

wbbh.images.worldnow.com
 
2012-10-05 05:19:58 PM
Approves: s3.amazonaws.com
 
2012-10-05 05:22:26 PM
sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net

/Wanted for questioning
 
2012-10-05 05:41:14 PM
spentmiles:

I came in here to congratulate subby on a creative headline, but your post is the best thing I've seen all day. 

/A hearty "well done, old chap" to both of you.
 
2012-10-05 06:12:23 PM
Nice headline Subby, every time I look at it I laugh harder.
 
2012-10-05 07:05:23 PM

tabo: Random and totally not related to the article. Us locals call that newspaper "The Daily Regress".

Thanks. That is all.


Wow. I only knew of one other person from Charlottesville on here. Glad to know there is someone else.
 
2012-10-05 07:34:30 PM

This is a late parrot: tabo: Random and totally not related to the article. Us locals call that newspaper "The Daily Regress".

Thanks. That is all.

Wow. I only knew of one other person from Charlottesville on here. Glad to know there is someone else.


abb3w? I also am in Charlottesville.
 
2012-10-05 07:37:23 PM
Al Gore Was Driving™
 
2012-10-05 07:53:25 PM
'A passenger in the vehicle...' WTF, are they charging for coach seats to offset the expense of paint?
 
2012-10-05 07:58:35 PM

Fano: cretinbob: One of the coolest things about Ohio, is that if you stop at the first rest stop coming into the state from PA, there is a monument to all the state DOT workers who died, well, in the line of duty. Those guys have one hell of a dangerous job and are extremely overlooked.

There's one on 64 on Afton Mountain, where they would have probably driven by on the way to UVA hospital


I wonder if they stopped to pencil him in.

\I can do aisle or window.
\\Thanks
 
2012-10-05 08:49:30 PM

Fano: This is a late parrot: tabo: Random and totally not related to the article. Us locals call that newspaper "The Daily Regress".

Thanks. That is all.

Wow. I only knew of one other person from Charlottesville on here. Glad to know there is someone else.

abb3w? I also am in Charlottesville.


As am I.

/subby
 
2012-10-05 08:51:11 PM

DeathCipris: I am actually pretty familiar with the Raphine area. Those are some steep ass sides on that stretch of road. My guess is that thing didn't just overturn once, but that baby flipped and rolled a few times. It is a bit ironic a VDOT truck isn't better maintained though...


What's an ass side?
 
2012-10-05 09:08:51 PM

spentmiles: This closed the highway into work this morning for over two hours. I was stuck in traffic for about three and a half. This morning at the gym was weights and I always pound a protein shake just before I leave the gym. It's an off and on kind of thing, but sometimes the shakes give me explosive diarrhea. Those mornings, I have to speed and sprint into the office before I shame myself. Wouldn't you know that I had an attack this morning sitting in traffic.

It was especially bad because I was right up alongside where the truck was overturned. The accident mangled the driver pretty bad, so they were basically cutting chunks of him out of the vehicle and throwing them into a pile alongside the road. He was a big fat bastard, like most of them, so the pile was a good four feet high. That's a pretty barren stretch otherwise, so I didn't have much choice but to try to hide behind the body and do my business.

I don't know if it's much a consolation to anyone else who was stuck in this traffic, but I crapped on him pretty good and then used his flannel to wipe with. Check your tires before you ruin everyone's Friday, asshole.


POOP THREAD!!!!1!
 
2012-10-05 09:33:46 PM
For a moment I thought this was in PA. I 81 sucks in pennsylvania.
 
2012-10-05 09:50:00 PM

Fano: This is a late parrot: tabo: Random and totally not related to the article. Us locals call that newspaper "The Daily Regress".

Thanks. That is all.

Wow. I only knew of one other person from Charlottesville on here. Glad to know there is someone else.

abb3w? I also am in Charlottesville.


Awesome. the other one I've seen is Antinorm.

Good to know there is more of us. Cheers.
 
2012-10-06 03:08:54 AM

theresnothinglft: For a moment I thought this was in PA. I 81 sucks in pennsylvania.


Just off exit 100 here. Suck is an understatement.
 
2012-10-06 02:09:44 PM

MBooda: FTA:
He was then trasnferred to the University of Virginia

Oh my god. They must have hit the typesetter, too. 

/wahoo wah


It's cute you think that is still a job, like "quill sharpenist".
 
2012-10-06 09:50:56 PM

This is a late parrot: Fano: This is a late parrot: tabo: Random and totally not related to the article. Us locals call that newspaper "The Daily Regress".

Thanks. That is all.

Wow. I only knew of one other person from Charlottesville on here. Glad to know there is someone else.

abb3w? I also am in Charlottesville.

Awesome. the other one I've seen is Antinorm.

Good to know there is more of us. Cheers.


Nobody is actually "from" or "in" Charlottesville. There are people at UVa. "Townies" are mythological. "Charlottesville" actually looks like this:

static.prtst.net
 
2012-10-07 12:41:59 AM

Fano: abb3w? I also am in Charlottesville.


I think there's a few others, but I'm too lazy to check at this hour.
 
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