RollingThunder: HR tried to give him shiat for putting that in there, but he managed to argue them down by pointing out they were tacitly condoning theft by preventing his efforts.
meanmutton: Katolu: Jiro Dreams Of McRibs: I'm so glad American workers no longer face the dangers of going out to lunch and eating meals prepared in an inspected commercial kitchen. Thank god they can now store their cold lunch in a community refrigerator that probably hasn't been cleaned in years and isn't inspected. Plus they get the added bonus of having spittle, urine, penis leavings and any number of other deposits left in their food by disgruntled coworkers.Thank god we've let employers give us this alternative to the nasty old way of a half hour or hour lunch break.UNPAID lunch, because fark you.Why should you get paid for lunch? I had a job where I got paid for a half hour lunch. I thought it was awesome but very, very strange.
AtlanticCoast63: lordargent: Sybarite: After they fired the last guy they caught doing it, that shiat ended quick where I work.He got off light.// don't fark with a basic human survival need, breathing, food, water, excretion, etc.This. We had one a few weeks back just after they put up the security cams, one of which is pointed DIRECTLY AT THE REFRIGERATOR IN THE BREAK ROOM. The best part was that after me and the ops manager reviewed the video (not only was his face visible, the guy responsible wears a VERY distinctive shirt.....every day.....) everybody got briefed that if the person responsible turned himself in, there would be a write up but that would be it.Nothing. Nada. Zilch.The next morning, we bring the guy into the conference room and make the charge. Nope, couldn't be him. Would never do anything like that, how could we think that, etc. We run the video on the 42" monitor and freeze it with his face clearly visible. Man looked us dead in the eye and said, "That's not me."For the twenty minutes it took for him to clean his locker and escort him out, this guy was on one long rant about how he was being set up 'by computer' and he was going to sue us and have all our jobs. Surprisingly, we haven't heard from him since.
MaxxLarge: [media-cache0.pinterest.com image 420x294]
Gilligann: This does not happen at all where I work.My company provides plenty of snacks in the breakroom, along with a couple coolers with a variety of drinks. It all gets refilled once a week. There's always something to eat.Too bad more companies don't do this.
JackieRabbit: Is this really a problem? I don't think we have such a problem where I work. But then I wouldn't know. Our problem is that people put their stuff in the refrigerator and leave it to turn into biology experiments. So when I take my lunch, I take it in an insulated bag and keep it at my desk.
Schmee: stuff- Do NOT tamper with sealed, refrigerated insulin, preventing the owner from using it to treat a medical condition. Yes, this too has been reported.more stuff
BATMANATEE: Schmee:stuff- Do NOT tamper with sealed, refrigerated insulin, preventing the owner from using it to treat a medical condition. Yes, this too has been reported.more stuffWhat kind of sick fark messes with somebody's insulin?
Doctor Funkenstein: One time at work, somebody was stealing my frozen burritos. So, I decided to take a big dump in a tortilla shell, wrap it up and put it in the freezer. I then hid in a cabinet by the fridge in the breakroom and waited for the culprit to make his move. I was in that cabinet for four days. My patience prevailed, though, and on day four, in walked the burrito bandit. I had carefully added spices and some hot sauce to my poorito, so as to cover the smell of my dumpage as it was being microwaved. Once cooked, he removed it from the microwave and took a big bite. At that point, I burst out of the cabinet and shouted, "You are eating my poop you thieving son of a biatch! How does it taste?" While we had worked together for a long time, he didn't recognize me right away because I had been in the cabinet for four days and hadn't shaved during that time. I had also fashioned my shirt into a diaper-pants sort of deal, similar to what Tom Hanks was sporting in Castaway. You know, for survival in the cabinet. Once he realized who I was and that I was telling the truth, he spat it out and ran away in horror. I had to go home early that day because it turns out diaper-pants were a violation of our workplace dress code but it was totally worth it. After that, I filmed myself farking his wife, emailed him the video and burned his house to the ground. Nobody ever stole a burrito from me again and the judge says that with good behavior, I may be free within two years.
Vegan Meat Popsicle: I hate to be Debbie Downer, but just in case anybody thinks lacing anything actually is a good idea, not only are you likely to be fired for lacing your food if you get caught, you'll also likely face charges./ so be extra, EXTRA sneaky
loonatic112358: Gilligann: This does not happen at all where I work.My company provides plenty of snacks in the breakroom, along with a couple coolers with a variety of drinks. It all gets refilled once a week. There's always something to eat.Too bad more companies don't do this.your company sounds fat/I do like visiting customers who have munchies to grab
KrispyKritter: /don't know why people think eating spicy hot food is so macho
highendmighty: Humerous notes?
Loomy: "The humerus is a long bone in the arm or forelimb that runs from the shoulder to the elbow.Anatomically, it connects the scapula and the lower arm (consisting of the radius and ulna), and consists of three sections." (more info here)Hope your arm's okay.
loonatic112358: PallMall:reminds me of the guy I got the idea for the catshiat sandwich from
you have pee hands: Vinegar's also not poisonous. But I have no idea how you could open a bottle of vinegar and not smell it. Did the perpetrator have a nose?
PallMall: What drove me to it was the fact that they didn't eat all of my lunch. They'd open sodas and take a drink, then throw the can on the ground. Open a sandwich, take a few bites and then toss it in the water. Stuff like that. Both of them were doing it so blatantly, it drove me mad.
Great Janitor: I don't understand why I was the bad guy, the other guy was the lunch thief.
Jument: I always enjoy these threads but seriously, some of you work in the worst kinds of hellholes imaginable.
odinsposse: Jerkwater: Does this actually happen? I've worked in half a dozen offices over the past 15 years and have never had my lunch stolen, or heard of anyone else who did.Same here. I've worked in offices from very corporate machine to very granola non-profit and have never had my lunch stolen or heard of one of my co-workers getting theirs stolen. Who in the world are you people working with?
loonatic112358: PallMall: What drove me to it was the fact that they didn't eat all of my lunch. They'd open sodas and take a drink, then throw the can on the ground. Open a sandwich, take a few bites and then toss it in the water. Stuff like that. Both of them were doing it so blatantly, it drove me mad.sounds like righands
natas6.0: I kept Safeway sushi in my car, in the california sun for 3 daysthen put it in the fridgewhen it went missing, I felt vindicated in the horrors he was about to enjoy
fortysix: Not lunch related, but I did have a colleague, a few years back, who would steal my pencils. This was in the trades, no office supply cabinet, my dime. Right in front of him, I stuck my pencils down my drawers, making sure the got plenty of ball-sack sweat on them. Fail, he kept stealing my pencils. He was a habitual pencil chewer, so a least it was funny.
Towermonkey: fortysix: Not lunch related, but I did have a colleague, a few years back, who would steal my pencils. This was in the trades, no office supply cabinet, my dime. Right in front of him, I stuck my pencils down my drawers, making sure the got plenty of ball-sack sweat on them. Fail, he kept stealing my pencils. He was a habitual pencil chewer, so a least it was funny.Maybe he was just down for the salty taste of your bollocks?
Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.
When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.
Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.
You need to create an account to submit links or post comments.
Click here to submit a link.
Also on Fark
Submit a Link »
Copyright © 1999 - 2017 Fark, Inc | Last updated: Jan 17 2017 15:38:48
Runtime: 0.526 sec (526 ms)