If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Gawker)   Dearest Friends, Thank you for agreeing to be a bridesmaid, here are some guidelines for you to follow. Please be aware that if you cannot commit the next six-months of your lives to me then you will be replaced, but you are still invited to attend   (gawker.com) divider line 374
    More: Asinine  
•       •       •

23615 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Oct 2012 at 10:05 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



374 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-10-05 12:52:47 PM  

mrs.parker: After reading this thread it's clear to me that everyone so proud of Converse footwear at their weddings are part of a large and unimaginative crowd.


No, we're happy we aren't the only ones who decided to go against the norm of stuffy tux shoes and heels. We all did it in different ways. And I'm completely certain your wedding was 100% original- you had it in a treehouse dressed in Tarzan and Jane outfits, right? Oh wait, I know someone else who did that. YOU'RE UNIMAGINATIVE!

Lighten up, buzzkill.
 
2012-10-05 12:59:08 PM  

BrynnMacFlynn: ... Okay, wives of Fark, be honest, is it really necessary to be a complete biatch? Do you wish you'd been a bridezilla if only a little? Did it really ruin your entire life to not control every little detail of the wedding?

/important because I'm hoping and hoping that the boyfriend will propose soon


As an oft-married Wife of Fark, verily I say unto thee, the details do not matter. At my first wedding, the cake that got delivered was not the cake I ordered. Did I care? Not. One. Bit. At my second wedding, the zipper on my reception dress broke and a friend who sews was dragooned into the dressing room to create a field-expedient zipper replacement with a hotel sewing kit. Did I care? Not. One. Bit.

Sure, before the wedding you want everything to be perfect, but on the Big Day, little things really just do not matter. What matters is you have the people you love around you, you will be beautiful because you are happy, and that someone keep drunken uncle Dave away from the bar.
 
2012-10-05 01:00:36 PM  
Two weddings here, neither fancy. First one not real memorable, except for the preacher, a friend and coworker, doing a sermon on AIDS. (?) Oh, and getting cake shoved up into my sinuses by my dear groom. Sneezing cake is not fun.

Second and final wedding (I did it right this time!): JP, our parents and son as witnesses, went out to dinner then to a scifi convention the next day. Had two parties: one with our con friends, who all signed/drew on a big piece of butcher paper, and yes I still have it, 11 years later. Second one a few months later at our house for the family and anyone else who showed up; they called it our "it's about time" party. Everyone had fun, it was relaxed, and we are still together and will be for always.

Full disclosure: never did get to wear the princess dress, and sometimes I wish I could have, but it is just not me.

I do think that anyone who needs the church, huge wedding party, elaborate ceremony and all that should go ahead and do it, but focus on the rest of your life together instead of that one day.
 
2012-10-05 01:05:18 PM  
Soymilk
BrynnMacFlynn: ... Okay, wives of Fark, be honest, is it really necessary to be a complete biatch? Do you wish you'd been a bridezilla if only a little? Did it really ruin your entire life to not control every little detail of the wedding?

/important because I'm hoping and hoping that the boyfriend will propose soon

As an oft-married Wife of Fark, verily I say unto thee, the details do not matter. At my first wedding, the cake that got delivered was not the cake I ordered. Did I care? Not. One. Bit. At my second wedding, the zipper on my reception dress broke and a friend who sews was dragooned into the dressing room to create a field-expedient zipper replacement with a hotel sewing kit. Did I care? Not. One. Bit.

Sure, before the wedding you want everything to be perfect, but on the Big Day, little things really just do not matter. What matters is you have the people you love around you, you will be beautiful because you are happy, and that someone keep drunken uncle Dave away from the bar.


This times a thousand.

Did I care that my mom forgot the antique cake cutting knives my grandmother gave her and we cut our cake with butter knives? Nope. Oh, and we left the marriage license at home and the groom's brother actually BROKE A WINDOW to get into our freshly-bought house to go get it for us. And the best man was tanked by 1pm and called my husband Darren by his brother's name three times during his best man speech.

It's a party. Have fun. And try not to let it get to you when your new mother in law accuses you of conspiring against her just because she ended up ONLY one table over from her ex husband and makes you cry on Mother's Day about it when you show up to give her flowers.

But I digress...
 
2012-10-05 01:06:33 PM  

flucto: Hope for the groom's sake that he sees this and runs screaming for the exit.


covered the Boobies in. I salute you, sir. Well-done.
 
2012-10-05 01:06:55 PM  

kiwimoogle84: mrs.parker: After reading this thread it's clear to me that everyone so proud of Converse footwear at their weddings are part of a large and unimaginative crowd.

No, we're happy we aren't the only ones who decided to go against the norm of stuffy tux shoes and heels. We all did it in different ways. And I'm completely certain your wedding was 100% original- you had it in a treehouse dressed in Tarzan and Jane outfits, right? Oh wait, I know someone else who did that. YOU'RE UNIMAGINATIVE!

Lighten up, buzzkill.


Don't be too hard on her. It sounds like her feet hurt and that makes everyone cranky :p
 
2012-10-05 01:08:27 PM  
After reading #2 I've come to realize this bride is a pretentious twat.

/That is all...
 
2012-10-05 01:09:02 PM  
Me and Mr ConCon got married on Friday the 13th since it was cheaper than other dates and it was the 400th anniversary of the Templar Massacre. That' was important to him, go fig.

We got married at a horse ranch with the most beautiful rustic hunting lodge and lawns full of tall pines and evergreens. It was a nice mix between our pagan leanings and my family's Christian ideals of a wedding. Everybody was happy, especially us.

I went to Home Depot/Lowes and found paint swatches for the wedding colors -then I handed it to the Bridesmaids and said 'Any dress you want, these colors.' They countered by finding one they really liked Downtown and all of them insisted on wearing it.

The wedding was entirely about US. Our favorite songs, our favorite foods, we made all our decorations and invited our friends. We even had a friend of his perform the ceremony for us. My family sort of mucked things up (My aunt requested Sexyback despite my specifically banning it, and my mother called my friends freeloading drunks who won't give us good presents). Otherwise it was epic, complete with zombies, the priest Turning Undead, and secret agents with nerf guns.


/6 years next week
//Fark the DJ. Get a good one or just get an iPod with your favorite music. It's all or nothing.
///Paint swatches are awesome, just saying...
 
2012-10-05 01:10:06 PM  
Weddings usually give me a general sense of unease, and the idea of my own wedding being a big affair genuinely frightened me. As happened, we got the marriage license, set a date at the courthouse and the rest is 15 years (so far) of history. Family members later convinced us to have a little pseudo-ceremony at a sibling's house so they all wouldn't feel left out.

In contradictory evidence, though, a niece got married recently and her mother paid for a big ol' blow out of a wedding and I do believe everyone involved had one hell of a good time.
 
2012-10-05 01:10:06 PM  

jayhawk88: markfara: It's not a coronation, b*tch. It's a wedding.

I lol'd.


me too. a lot.
 
2012-10-05 01:12:03 PM  

ca_nimrod: and only a few family members have passed away. Cheers!


We passed 15 years in June and our daughter wanted to watch our video on our anniversary. I was saddened to see how many family members (parents' generation) on my side had passed away.

/both parents were the younger cousins in their families
//also got our 7 year old exclaiming: "Wow, daddy! You and uncle Josh DID have hair when you were younger!!"
 
2012-10-05 01:14:18 PM  

Cheron: minoridiot: The poor guy will be wanting a divorce by Labor Day in 2013.

Or she'll be pregnant so she can be the center of attention again.

Too Pretty For Prison:stirred Free advice for young Fark guys. If a woman expects you to put up with this shiat for her "special day" - just don't. This crap doesn't magically end on your wedding day. She'll want the perfect honeymoon, the perfect house, the perfect car, your undivided attention for every trivial thing in her life and it will never end. First wedding? I played this game and within 4 years we were divorced. I simply couldn't take it. My second marriage? We jumped a plane to vegas, got married in street clothes, and spent our honeymoon being tourists in the Grand Canyon and floating down a river. That was 18 years ago. I love her more today than I did then.

▲read that again. A wedding is just the day you get married and if you focus so much attention on the wedding and being the center of attention you probably aren't even thinking about being married. Best wedding I ever went to and the only time I was a best man was a friend who got married by a JP with two strangers a witnesses. They took a week for a honeymoon and then had a huge casual picnic for a wedding. They were interested in being married not being the center of attention.


I was "best man" at my friend's courthouse wedding because I didn't know how to work the real best man's camera. So I'm in all the wedding shots standing next to the happy couple and the real best man's wife was the matron of honor. The important thing is the happy couple are still together twenty-something years later--and probably still happy (AFAIK, it's been a while since we saw each other).
 
2012-10-05 01:16:11 PM  

brigid_fitch: namegoeshere: namegoeshere: BrynnMacFlynn: ... Okay, wives of Fark, be honest, is it really necessary to be a complete biatch? Do you wish you'd been a bridezilla if only a little? Did it really ruin your entire life to not control every little detail of the wedding?

/important because I'm hoping and hoping that the boyfriend will propose soon

No, it's not.

My dress advice (especially if you don't have Stepford bridesmaids.) Pick a fabric, length, neckline, sleeve length. Find a good, flexible seamstress. Have the bridesmaids meet with the seamstress and pick a dress design that is most flattering to them. This option is cheaper than paying $$$$$$$ for pre-made dresses that only flatter perfect figures, and will make your bridesmaids much happier than paying out the ass for a dress they hate. Your wedding party will look better, too.

That's what I did for my wedding. Started planning the dresses a year in advance. I had a few ideas of what style I wanted and consulted w/my bridesmaids--which of these style dresses would you most likely wear at least one other time? We narrowed it down to 3. I had 2 color combinations and we decided on one final style/color. I ordered all the fabric, had it cut for each girl, and they all either made their own or found a seamstress. Everyone looked stunning (and the 5 girls ranged in size from size 4 to size 16) and each paid less than $100 for her dress.

I tried to be as low-key as possible and not demand too much of anyone. All I asked was that, when I scheduled something (wedding dress shopping, help w/wedding favors, bridal shower, whatever) they be on time and that I wanted a fun bachelorette party. Nothing extreme, never expected them to drop everything for me, and never wanted them to.

CSB: The ONLY issue I had was with one high-strung bridesmaid who dragged her feet throughout the year. Whined about everything, hated all the dresses and colors, complained about being expected to find a seamstress (which I ende ...


awesome. you rock, sister.
 
2012-10-05 01:16:57 PM  

mindaroth: Women who have had weddings of any size, why was it important to you? Legit question, not asking to snark.


I had about 100 at each one of mine. We have many family and friends and did not want to exclude anyone who would like to help us celebrate and have a good time. Both weddings were spendy by Fark standards, but both featured awesome food, booze, and I sincerely believe every guest at both weddings had a good time, which was what really mattered - to spread the joy on a day like this to as many people we love as possible.
 
2012-10-05 01:21:18 PM  

mindaroth:

Women who have had weddings of any size, why was it important to you? Legit question, not asking to snark.


I actually didn't want the wedding. I wanted a brief ceremony and to go out to a nice restaurant but my fiance is a romantic and more traditional than me about some things. I wasn't going to discourage him from expressing how happy he was to be with me in the way he saw fit and I also wasn't going to turn down a chance to dance and eat cake so...

In the end, I'm glad we had a wedding. It's really nice to have a real celebration following a major life event and it's also a chance for the bride and groom's family and friends to get to know one another. One of my favorite things is that a wedding gives you a chance to celebrate who you are as a couple while you're starting your life together. My husband and I are animal-loving nerds so we did a pirates vs ninja theme at an aquarium. We attended two weddings this summer like that: One was between an opera singer and a pianist and their musically talented family and friends performed for the guests. The other was two friends of ours who really enjoyed taking dance classes together and they had their classmates perform and then their favorite instructor taught us all a dance.
 
2012-10-05 01:29:47 PM  

Vodka Zombie: I'm betting some creature from the Jersey Shore wrote these demands.


Do you want to know how I know you have not met many brides?
 
2012-10-05 01:31:58 PM  

mrs.parker: After reading this thread it's clear to me that everyone so proud of Converse footwear at their weddings are part of a large and unimaginative crowd.


We're doing it as an homage to Doctor Who without being overt about it. Though, would've been nice to be able to afford the TARDIS groom's cake we wanted. Oh well.
 
2012-10-05 01:37:48 PM  

Wollffeey: mrs.parker: After reading this thread it's clear to me that everyone so proud of Converse footwear at their weddings are part of a large and unimaginative crowd.

We're doing it as an homage to Doctor Who without being overt about it. Though, would've been nice to be able to afford the TARDIS groom's cake we wanted. Oh well.


We're wearing fezzes now. Fezzes are cool.
 
2012-10-05 01:39:14 PM  

Soymilk: mindaroth: Women who have had weddings of any size, why was it important to you? Legit question, not asking to snark.

I had about 100 at each one of mine. We have many family and friends and did not want to exclude anyone who would like to help us celebrate and have a good time. Both weddings were spendy by Fark standards, but both featured awesome food, booze, and I sincerely believe every guest at both weddings had a good time, which was what really mattered - to spread the joy on a day like this to as many people we love as possible.


Same here. Ours was more traditional than many mentioned here, and some things we did mostly to please our families...but that was sort of the point. Mr. SWAF & I agreed our wedding was not just about making US happy - it was about making everyone else (who had loved & supported us through the years) happy too.
 
2012-10-05 01:44:11 PM  

Basily Gourt: I'm calling BS on that email, unless these girls are all trust fund babies.

Even then: "So sorry, but go eff yourself."


Wedding in Vail. Parties in NYC and CT. Trust fund baby. Definitely.
 
2012-10-05 01:47:12 PM  

kiwimoogle84: Wollffeey: mrs.parker: After reading this thread it's clear to me that everyone so proud of Converse footwear at their weddings are part of a large and unimaginative crowd.

We're doing it as an homage to Doctor Who without being overt about it. Though, would've been nice to be able to afford the TARDIS groom's cake we wanted. Oh well.

We're wearing fezzes now. Fezzes are cool.


Yeah, funny thing, two groomsmen and two bridesmaids are BIG 10 fans and while I and the fiancé both like all the new doctors (9-11) equally, we'd rather the wedding party have as much fun as possible with it. Besides, the shoes look a little less silly than fezzes, bow-ties, or Stetsons. And they can be worn after the wedding, so big plus with being economical.
 
2012-10-05 01:53:30 PM  

tiamet4: I actually didn't want the wedding. I wanted a brief ceremony and to go out to a nice restaurant but my fiance is a romantic and more traditional than me about some things. I wasn't going to discourage him from expressing how happy he was to be with me in the way he saw fit and I also wasn't going to turn down a chance to dance and eat cake so...

In the end, I'm glad we had a wedding. It's really nice to have a real celebration following a major life event and it's also a chance for the bride and groom's family and friends to get to know one another. One of my favorite things is that a wedding gives you a chance to celebrate who you are as a couple while you're starting your life together.


I thought the exact same thing up until a year or so ago. Suddenly I wanted an actual wedding. I don't know if the cultural brainwashing finally kicked in or if I was thinking about my mom and grandparents but I suddenly wanted a traditional wedding. But you know what? I totally agree with your assessment about how it's also about two families coming together to blend over this linking of two individuals. I'm just hoping I don't lose myself in the details and remain true to Future Mr Mouse and myself.
 
2012-10-05 01:54:40 PM  

Expolaris: After reading this i'm glad my brother's Fiancee is a level headed woman - a very cut and dry lawyer to go with his very cut and dry engineer mindset.

They are more interested in being together, than the wedding itself. They even pushed back their wedding a few months so they could close on their new house - where the wedding itself is being held.

[sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net image 540x960]

The ceremony is going to look great in their gazebo (if we can defeat it).




Oh, I saw what you did there. Throw me in for "And my Axe!" if you need help with the beast.
 
2012-10-05 01:54:51 PM  

katerbug72: I was in my brother's wedding a couple weeks ago and the bride couldn't have been more laid back. Not a bridezilla moment to be had AND there were fireworks, a candy buffet and a nacho cart.

[fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.net image 850x633]

Also, my son picked up his first date:

[fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.net image 850x637]

He walked away saying "Bye!".


Aw... that's really cute. But the tights? You know where that's headed, right?
 
2012-10-05 01:55:14 PM  
The best wedding I've been to in recent memory was great. All of the important details were done thoughtfully and there was no bullshiat involved. The bride was really chill and relaxed (surprise! she's a decent human being) and shrugged off every problem because she knew what was important. Everyone had a really great time.

Compare that to a wedding coming up that my friend is a bridesmaid in. The bride and her friends don't have much money, but that's okay because she expects them all to pay for her share of the really expensive and elaborate trips that she's planned. Everyone is miserable, including her, but these destinations are part of her wedding dream so she has to do them...
 
2012-10-05 01:57:57 PM  

Wollffeey: mrs.parker: After reading this thread it's clear to me that everyone so proud of Converse footwear at their weddings are part of a large and unimaginative crowd.

We're doing it as an homage to Doctor Who without being overt about it. Though, would've been nice to be able to afford the TARDIS groom's cake we wanted. Oh well.


I just discovered this site last week Figgie Shoes. An artist will take your shoes and draw/paint custom images and patterns on them for your wedding. On the original blog where I learned about her they had an image of a pair of heels with these beautifully drawn waves and patterns with a little Tardis hidden in there. It's a fun little geeky way to pay tribute I think. I wonder if this lady customizes Converse.

/my cousin put a Tardis bandaid on her thigh under the garter as her "something blue"
//well... I thought it was cute
 
2012-10-05 01:58:22 PM  
Wow, I typed out a rant and my screen refreshed and it went poof.

To the lady who is hoping for her princess proposal, I hope it is worth it, mine was. I was not all that patient, but my husband was. He proposed ina cute, silly way that meant so much to me, I will never forget it and only wish he hadn't felt pressured. He wasn't pressured into it, he is too stubborn for that, but he did feel that I was impatient. He still loves me tho, and he treats me like his princess, which is very sweet and loving. 16 years in Nov.

We got married twice. The first time, his sister tried to ruin it by being a complete toad about everything. She offered us her house for the ceremony (gorgeous house) and then turned it into a nightmare. She was pregnant, so our April date was too close to her due date. We moved the wedding up 6 months. Not a huge deal, we knew it would get more difficult for her, so made quick plans for a tiny wedding we wanted anyway.

Nothing was good enough for her. Everything we told her about, she tried to revise. She chose the decorations, which was fine, since it was her house. But then it got to be where she was saying the ceremony wasn't right, the food wasn't right, my dress wasn't right. She snapped at my husband that my friends would likely show up in torn jeans and tshirts because I was wearing a dress she considered too formal for a daytime wedding.

She caused so much stress, it was awful. The day of the wedding, she informed me that I would be allowed to get dressed in the smallest bedroom in the house. No mirrors, no bathroom, not even space for me, my mom and moh to move around without one having to sit on the bed. I guess that showed me, huh? Not sure what it showed, other than that she wanted to make me feel like her live-in maid.

My husband and I had a second wedding, five years later. We went to Kauai and were married on the beach, just the two of us with two people from the hotel as witnesses. Our luggage was lost, so we went to Rite Aid and bought some Hawaiian print clothes that matched fairly well. We got sandals, but ended up barefoot.. it was beautiful right up until the Dengue Fever, two days in the hospital and a month or so of recovery! It really was a great trip though. Aside from getting so sick I don't remember two days, it was just us being together and loving every moment (that I remember).
 
2012-10-05 01:59:43 PM  

KatjaMouse: tiamet4: I actually didn't want the wedding. I wanted a brief ceremony and to go out to a nice restaurant but my fiance is a romantic and more traditional than me about some things. I wasn't going to discourage him from expressing how happy he was to be with me in the way he saw fit and I also wasn't going to turn down a chance to dance and eat cake so...

In the end, I'm glad we had a wedding. It's really nice to have a real celebration following a major life event and it's also a chance for the bride and groom's family and friends to get to know one another. One of my favorite things is that a wedding gives you a chance to celebrate who you are as a couple while you're starting your life together.

I thought the exact same thing up until a year or so ago. Suddenly I wanted an actual wedding. I don't know if the cultural brainwashing finally kicked in or if I was thinking about my mom and grandparents but I suddenly wanted a traditional wedding. But you know what? I totally agree with your assessment about how it's also about two families coming together to blend over this linking of two individuals. I'm just hoping I don't lose myself in the details and remain true to Future Mr Mouse and myself.


You absolutely won't. Don't stress about it, realize it won't go completely perfect. Pay for it a piece at a time.

Throw in touches both you and the Mister like. (But I'd suggest if he suggests your short grandmother dresses up as Yoda, and the brides family all gets a light saber and the grooms side all get stormtrooper helmets [like my mister did] that you shoot that one down. :)

You can have a traditional wedding without it being stuffy and awful. If it starts becoming a chore, drop the pieces that stress you most.

Good luck!
 
2012-10-05 01:59:58 PM  

Mitch Taylor's Bro: I was "best man" at my friend's courthouse wedding because I didn't know how to work the real best man's camera. So I'm in all the wedding shots standing next to the happy couple and the real best man's wife was the matron of honor.


That must have been awkward at the Nuptual Conjugal Rites. I mean, with the ritual Bridal Party Copulations and all. Or did they swing that way already?
 
2012-10-05 02:02:17 PM  

kiwimoogle84: KatjaMouse: tiamet4: I actually didn't want the wedding. I wanted a brief ceremony and to go out to a nice restaurant but my fiance is a romantic and more traditional than me about some things. I wasn't going to discourage him from expressing how happy he was to be with me in the way he saw fit and I also wasn't going to turn down a chance to dance and eat cake so...

In the end, I'm glad we had a wedding. It's really nice to have a real celebration following a major life event and it's also a chance for the bride and groom's family and friends to get to know one another. One of my favorite things is that a wedding gives you a chance to celebrate who you are as a couple while you're starting your life together.

I thought the exact same thing up until a year or so ago. Suddenly I wanted an actual wedding. I don't know if the cultural brainwashing finally kicked in or if I was thinking about my mom and grandparents but I suddenly wanted a traditional wedding. But you know what? I totally agree with your assessment about how it's also about two families coming together to blend over this linking of two individuals. I'm just hoping I don't lose myself in the details and remain true to Future Mr Mouse and myself.

You absolutely won't. Don't stress about it, realize it won't go completely perfect. Pay for it a piece at a time.

Throw in touches both you and the Mister like. (But I'd suggest if he suggests your short grandmother dresses up as Yoda, and the brides family all gets a light saber and the grooms side all get stormtrooper helmets [like my mister did] that you shoot that one down. :)

You can have a traditional wedding without it being stuffy and awful. If it starts becoming a chore, drop the pieces that stress you most.

Good luck!


*for the record, the "you won't" was in regards to losing yourself, not the staying true part.
 
2012-10-05 02:02:35 PM  
100% sure this is fake.
 
2012-10-05 02:03:49 PM  

kiwimoogle84: Throw in touches both you and the Mister like. (But I'd suggest if he suggests your short grandmother dresses up as Yoda, and the brides family all gets a light saber and the grooms side all get stormtrooper helmets [like my mister did] that you shoot that one down. :)


Wait... am I engaged to an already man!?!?!

/I'm getting him a Star Wars theme grooms cake... because I nixed the R2D2 ring barer
//I'm also going to make sure we have at least 6 light sabers for us to walk under when we leave and he doesn't know I've already ordered those
///Other small nerdy details may be incorporated as we go since I want the overall feel to be a sappy Roman Holiday theme
 
2012-10-05 02:04:26 PM  

KatjaMouse: Wait... am I engaged to an already married man!?!?!


FTFM
 
2012-10-05 02:07:33 PM  

SlothB77: 100% sure this is fake.


I don't know... you ever seen Four Weddings?
 
2012-10-05 02:09:32 PM  

BrynnMacFlynn: ... Okay, wives of Fark, be honest, is it really necessary to be a complete biatch? Do you wish you'd been a bridezilla if only a little? Did it really ruin your entire life to not control every little detail of the wedding?

/important because I'm hoping and hoping that the boyfriend will propose soon


The wedding industry is a farking ripoff machine. Do yourself, your hub2B, your family and friends a favor and simplify.

My advice:
- Have a big party before the wedding where everyone is invited. You could cater or have a potluck. But invite everyone who might want to wish you well.
- Wedding itself: ~20-30 close family and friends. Venue: beautiful park or beach (trust me, God is out there more than in a church). Dinner: near the venue, splurge it up, why not. Rent a luxury motor coach (couches, not seats) for everyone and bring a few cases of champagne on board. Coach is to bring everybody from a central meeting point (like the hotel out of towners are staying at) to the venue and to dinner and back.
- The dress: why get some foofy thing you'll never wear again? If you're going to pay big bucks for the thing, a designer goodness, get something you'll wear again.

Voila. Beautiful wedding, great memories. We did this over 20 years ago and it was awesome. And we had plenty of money left over for a fantastic honeymoon and a down payment on a house.

What I wish we'd done in addition:
- Register somewhere for loot. We said we didn't want gifts, but people felt compelled anyway. Registering would have allowed those nice folks to get something we really wanted ;-)
- Pro photographer. We gave everyone a disposable camera (YES! it was a long time ago) and had them turn the cameras in at the end so we could cull through, pick the best and send them all out to the folks who came. This turned out okay, but certain "money shots" were not gotten.

To this day, I can't watch a foofaroo wedding movie (like Father of the Bride or Sex and the City 2) without yelling at the screen about what idiots these women are to try to have a "fairy tale" wedding only to tear their lives and their loved ones apart with frenzied planning and expense. Just say NO to the wedding industry leeches!
 
2012-10-05 02:11:42 PM  

kiwimoogle84: KatjaMouse: tiamet4: I actually didn't want the wedding. I wanted a brief ceremony and to go out to a nice restaurant but my fiance is a romantic and more traditional than me about some things. I wasn't going to discourage him from expressing how happy he was to be with me in the way he saw fit and I also wasn't going to turn down a chance to dance and eat cake so...

In the end, I'm glad we had a wedding. It's really nice to have a real celebration following a major life event and it's also a chance for the bride and groom's family and friends to get to know one another. One of my favorite things is that a wedding gives you a chance to celebrate who you are as a couple while you're starting your life together.

I thought the exact same thing up until a year or so ago. Suddenly I wanted an actual wedding. I don't know if the cultural brainwashing finally kicked in or if I was thinking about my mom and grandparents but I suddenly wanted a traditional wedding. But you know what? I totally agree with your assessment about how it's also about two families coming together to blend over this linking of two individuals. I'm just hoping I don't lose myself in the details and remain true to Future Mr Mouse and myself.

You absolutely won't. Don't stress about it, realize it won't go completely perfect. Pay for it a piece at a time.

Throw in touches both you and the Mister like. (But I'd suggest if he suggests your short grandmother dresses up as Yoda, and the brides family all gets a light saber and the grooms side all get stormtrooper helmets [like my mister did] that you shoot that one down. :)

You can have a traditional wedding without it being stuffy and awful. If it starts becoming a chore, drop the pieces that stress you most.

Good luck!


Exactly. You will have moments where you freak out a little but always remember that it's a success as long as you both say "I do". Nothing else matters and the little things that aren't perfect end up being fun stories. Mr. Tiamet and I practiced our first dance (choreographed by a friend) for weeks to get it perfect and then the DJ played the wrong song. Everyone still ooh'd and aah'd as we stumbled about in confusion. We had a artist from Etsy make us a pirate map as our guest book and it arrived the day before the wedding with the wrong date. My dad painstakingly fixed it and no one was the wiser. The top of my dress came undone (but thankfully did not fall down!) when I danced too hard and my friends and I spent a hilarious 15 minutes in the bathroom coming up with configurations of pins to fix it...etc.
 
2012-10-05 02:13:10 PM  

cosmiquemuffin: - Pro photographer. We gave everyone a disposable camera (YES! it was a long time ago) and had them turn the cameras in at the end so we could cull through, pick the best and send them all out to the folks who came. This turned out okay, but certain "money shots" were not gotten.


I told my mom I just need her help to pay for the food and venue which doesn't have to be all that amazing and I'm flexible with the dress but the one thing I will not budge on is the photographer. I am willing drop 4 grand if I have to to get the best possible photos for this wedding because 30 years from now I want to look at those pictures and swoon, goddammit.
 
2012-10-05 02:13:53 PM  
My wife and I made sure to make our wedding a party that everyone (us especially) enjoyed. She wore the fancy white dress and after pictures and everything were done, she was on the dance floor drinking a vodka and cranberry. Some people were shocked she chose a red drink that would likely stain the hell out of her dress if spilled. Her response: "Who cares? It's not like I'm going to wear it again."

Fellas, if you can find a chill, low-maintenance gal like mine, I highly recommend it. My sphincter tightened up for poor Jake when I read this email.
 
2012-10-05 02:14:14 PM  

chuggernaught: Expolaris: After reading this i'm glad my brother's Fiancee is a level headed woman - a very cut and dry lawyer to go with his very cut and dry engineer mindset.

They are more interested in being together, than the wedding itself. They even pushed back their wedding a few months so they could close on their new house - where the wedding itself is being held.

[sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net image 540x960]

The ceremony is going to look great in their gazebo (if we can defeat it).

Oh, I saw what you did there. Throw me in for "And my Axe!" if you need help with the beast.


I appreciate the help but remember this is a formidable beast.

i182.photobucket.com

My brother must stand with his new bride as one and face this mighty creature as they intend to stand together and face the world to seal their mawwaige in love, victory, and LOOT.

/it's kinda dusty in here
//we are all giant dorks
///You have been favorited as "Some Muchkin"
 
2012-10-05 02:14:14 PM  

kiwimoogle84: cryinoutloud: CapeFearCadaver: If I find someone I actually want to spend the rest of my life with... I've got a cabin in the mountains, a friend who lives near there who is an ordained minister, would probably buy a couple kegs of hobgoblin or something and cook the food myself. Family & close friends. Easy peasy.

Never marrying again. I'd live with somebody, but when one of us wants to leave---SEE YA. Family court is better for taking hostages than a gun.

I used to think I'd never marry again (widowing not divorce like so many here) but mr kiwi and I are discussing it because its security for each other. There's no time frame for this- I don't care when, it'll happen when it happens. I can give him health insurance (he works for himself) and he and I can combine everything.

Plus, when you're with the right person, marriage doesn't feel like a chain, it's just the next logical step when you don't ever want to be without the person.

And for the record, I'd TOTALLY wear a garbage bag over my dress and eat wings. Win.


See, everyone wants a perfect wedding. WTF for? if you have a perfect wedding, you have no CSBs like this! I can just imagine the awesome photos of the bride decked out in a hefty bag with a face full of BBQ sauce having a great time! It would be much better than the sanitized, homogenized, "look how perfect we look" photos from my friend's wedding. (Fortunately, she didn't go all bridezilla on anyone. She's just very obsessive about details and did 90% of the work all by herself.)
 
2012-10-05 02:15:38 PM  

BrynnMacFlynn: JohnAnnArbor: Break out of gender roles. Propose to him.

:( I dun wanna. In all seriousness, while I am a "WOO FEMINISM" kind of gal on just about every other subject, I still have that 'princess' mentality when it comes to the proposal. I'm not going to be a bridezilla (just takes way too much effort and energy), but I do insist that he propose.


After years of my saying "marriage, ew" my bf told me I had to be the one to propose. So I did... I gave him a gold earring on bended knee. He looks at me and says, "Where's my diamond?" We laughed like hell. I got him his diamond earring, and 20 years later he still wears it every day.

/aw
//Jake, run like the wind dude!
 
2012-10-05 02:21:49 PM  

KatjaMouse: KatjaMouse: Wait... am I engaged to an already married man!?!?!

FTFM


Unless you're marrying a 2/3rds empty urn, no, no you're not.

/I bet you guys would have been friends though
 
2012-10-05 02:21:52 PM  
1981. I'm the one in polyester. Think the dress cost $80 at the time.
imageshack.us
 
2012-10-05 02:22:02 PM  

cosmiquemuffin: After years of my saying "marriage, ew" my bf told me I had to be the one to propose. So I did... I gave him a gold earring on bended knee. He looks at me and says, "Where's my diamond?" We laughed like hell. I got him his diamond earring, and 20 years later he still wears it every day.

/aw
//Jake, run like the wind dude!


Hehe, that's adorable. I would like to add that the boyfriend has made it clear he will be the one doing the proposing (and not because he's trying to not do it at all i swear). Though I have made it clear that if he does not propose within a reasonable period of time I will do it for him.

It really is lovely to read everyone's stories; I have no idea what mine will be like, but I know it will be fun for everyone.
 
2012-10-05 02:24:22 PM  

kiwimoogle84: KatjaMouse: KatjaMouse: Wait... am I engaged to an already married man!?!?!

FTFM

Unless you're marrying a 2/3rds empty urn, no, no you're not.

/I bet you guys would have been friends though


awww sorry for your loss. I bet he would have been rad to hang out with on Dr. Who nights or to help fit my fiancee's 501st armor because I'm crap at helping him with that stuff.
 
2012-10-05 02:27:08 PM  

robertey: We have all the event details, and I'm assuming names haven't been changed because nobody involved is innocent. How about a thousand rowdy farkers show up, with gifts and significant others in tow? The police will have to be summoned. If the kids on 4chan get wind of it, they'll have to call in the National Guard.


Aspen wedding crashers Fark party!
 
2012-10-05 02:28:50 PM  

KatjaMouse: kiwimoogle84: Throw in touches both you and the Mister like. (But I'd suggest if he suggests your short grandmother dresses up as Yoda, and the brides family all gets a light saber and the grooms side all get stormtrooper helmets [like my mister did] that you shoot that one down. :)

Wait... am I engaged to an already man!?!?!

/I'm getting him a Star Wars theme grooms cake... because I nixed the R2D2 ring barer
//I'm also going to make sure we have at least 6 light sabers for us to walk under when we leave and he doesn't know I've already ordered those
///Other small nerdy details may be incorporated as we go since I want the overall feel to be a sappy Roman Holiday theme


Another dear friend of mine and huge Star Wars geek was having a Scottish-themed wedding (full kilt and jacket for us groomsmen despite the groom's name ending in -Ski and hers being as Italian as the day is long) which meant she had to have a bagpiper, which led to the fact that she marched down the aisle to the tune of a lone piper playing the Imperial March.

Took most guests a few minutes to get it, but the smiles on the faces of those that recognized the tune were worth it.
 
2012-10-05 02:28:53 PM  

Cheron: minoridiot: The poor guy will be wanting a divorce by Labor Day in 2013.

Or she'll be pregnant so she can be the center of attention again.

Too Pretty For Prison:stirred Free advice for young Fark guys. If a woman expects you to put up with this shiat for her "special day" - just don't. This crap doesn't magically end on your wedding day. She'll want the perfect honeymoon, the perfect house, the perfect car, your undivided attention for every trivial thing in her life and it will never end. First wedding? I played this game and within 4 years we were divorced. I simply couldn't take it. My second marriage? We jumped a plane to vegas, got married in street clothes, and spent our honeymoon being tourists in the Grand Canyon and floating down a river. That was 18 years ago. I love her more today than I did then.

▲read that again. A wedding is just the day you get married and if you focus so much attention on the wedding and being the center of attention you probably aren't even thinking about being married. Best wedding I ever went to and the only time I was a best man was a friend who got married by a JP with two strangers a witnesses. They took a week for a honeymoon and then had a huge casual picnic for a wedding. They were interested in being married not being the center of attention.


This would be filed under the 'when sexism backfires' part of life. For example, it really is sexist to tell little girls that weddings are 'the most important day of their life'. And it results in this.
 
2012-10-05 02:29:16 PM  

KatjaMouse: kiwimoogle84: KatjaMouse: KatjaMouse: Wait... am I engaged to an already married man!?!?!

FTFM

Unless you're marrying a 2/3rds empty urn, no, no you're not.

/I bet you guys would have been friends though

awww sorry for your loss. I bet he would have been rad to hang out with on Dr. Who nights or to help fit my fiancee's 501st armor because I'm crap at helping him with that stuff.


Know how we spent our honeymoon? Playing MTG in our hotel since I got bronchitis. It was still pretty fun. And thanks- been years but our wedding is something I still think about often. Mr Kiwi gets it and is very understanding.

Here's a wedding / invitations planning tip- when ordering them online, remember that if there's 150 people coming, this does NOT mean you order 150 invitations. You're laughing at me, but I seriously was that dumb. Oh and PS, people don't write return addresses on their envelopes, so come up with a system to ensure you know which RSVP came back from who.

Good luck sweetie!

/favorited and farkied as "star wars bride"
 
2012-10-05 02:34:14 PM  
What's the motivation in writing such a fake letter?
 
Displayed 50 of 374 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report