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(Gawker)   Dearest Friends, Thank you for agreeing to be a bridesmaid, here are some guidelines for you to follow. Please be aware that if you cannot commit the next six-months of your lives to me then you will be replaced, but you are still invited to attend   (gawker.com) divider line 374
    More: Asinine  
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23617 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Oct 2012 at 10:05 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-10-05 11:38:26 AM  
i.imgur.com

11. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES ARE YOUR ALLOWED TO HAVE EXPLOSIVE DIARRHEA IN THE STREET
 
2012-10-05 11:39:03 AM  

Expolaris: blatz514: /always a groomsmen, never a groom.

[i.ytimg.com image 480x360]

Give any good speeches?


Was only best man once. But my best friend had thee best "best man speech" evar.

"Wine'm, dine'm, sixty-nine'm"
 
2012-10-05 11:43:47 AM  
See, and I fully expect my next proposal will be something like this- he looks in my eyes and asks "will you continue being the chaos to my order for the rest of our perverted and sinful lives?"

And then we have a 20's themed party where the dress code is garters for women and cuff links for men, and no gifts, just buy us a drink.

It'd fit perfectly.
 
2012-10-05 11:44:20 AM  
When I read Bridezilla's email the other day, this was the Weeners:

I dunno, I sort of wish I'd been this big of a biatch with my bridesmaids. Had I been, I probably wouldn't have been stuck forking over $400 for my bachelorette party because four of my bridesmaids bailed two days before we were supposed to go to Napa (they were told of the trip at least six months before) and I wouldn't have had to buy one girl her dress because even though I'd decided on dresses nine months prior, she still couldn't find time to go buy it. Bridesmaids are the worst.
 
2012-10-05 11:44:22 AM  

Mr_Fabulous: My fellow Farkers... marry a woman like this. Trust me. Seriously.


Couldn't agree more. Wedding outdoors in June in Sedona AZ part in front of Cathedral Rock. The families grilled chicken and salmon out back of the cabin. Two ice cream cakes--one vanilla, one chocolate. Made a canopy with bamboo sticks and sewn sarongs. The afterparty was everyone swimming in the big red rock creek. Everyone said it was by far the most enjoyable wedding they had ever attended. Been together over a decade now and I love her more than the day we met. She's bisexual too, so that's a bonus.
 
2012-10-05 11:44:26 AM  

Lundyn: white women problems


some racist has apparently never seen that bridezillas show
 
2012-10-05 11:44:42 AM  

WhippingBoy: The only thing worse than a self-entitled bride to be are the people who feel compelled to point out that "they're not like that" to all and sundry...


Thank you. It was getting thick with self congratulations in here. Happens in the kid raising threads too. We can all be assh*les now and then. It's usually okay.
 
2012-10-05 11:45:06 AM  

Mr_Fabulous: Wollffeey: Oh well, I'm positive everyone is going to have a good time and even though I'll be a nervous wreck on the day of, and that I'll still enjoy myself and I'm not going to sweat the small stuff even if things don't go exactly as planned.

My fellow Farkers... marry a woman like this. Trust me. Seriously.

/and if she likes sports and good music too, don't even think twice


Lol I've been practicing how to be "like water" for years now. I don't think I would have been mature enough to get married before now. As I mentioned above, the only thing I really stress about is money, and whether or not we have enough but I'm getting better about that, too. My fiancé is a really good match for me, though, because as stressed out as I can get about things, he's there, being all wonderful and laid back, reminding me that everything is going to be okay and will work out the way it's supposed to in the end. He is definitely the perfect compliment to my personality. I just have to make sure I always respect him since my mom lost my dad by disrespecting him.
 
2012-10-05 11:45:38 AM  
My head hurts from banging it on my desk after reading that. Who marries See You Next Tuesdays like that?

The bridezilla is an entitled idiot with no grasp of grammar or spelling. She must have a jewel-lined pussy for someone to put up with that enough to marry her.

Also, making the wedding party pay for special dresses, trips, etc.????? My parents paid for all dresses/tux rentals/etc. when my sisters each got married. It's called being a proper host. The bridal party members are still your guests, too.

I cannot stand women who think they are "princesses" like that. It's one day, one party - the marriage is supposed to be the important thing. I guess she is just looking for alimony.
 
2012-10-05 11:46:46 AM  
I bet they aren't even going to have vodka or marinated herring.

Link
 
2012-10-05 11:46:48 AM  

addy2: WhippingBoy: The only thing worse than a self-entitled bride to be are the people who feel compelled to point out that "they're not like that" to all and sundry...

Thank you. It was getting thick with self congratulations in here. Happens in the kid raising threads too. We can all be assh*les now and then. It's usually okay.


To be fair, there hasn't been a good ol' child raising or marriage thread in a while. Or I just missed all the trainwreckyness. There's a lot of self-congratulatin' humors that need to be outed apparently.
 
2012-10-05 11:48:23 AM  
My first wedding (and marriage) was a train wreck. I was 18 and my laws hijacked the entire thing. I wasn't allowed to pick my bridal party, date, venue... Ect. After 12 years of ridiculousness i divorced. I am engaged now and my fiancee and i are planning a low key event. I keep looking for ways to make it easier and cheaper for all involved. The church wedding is very important to us, but the details are not. I just want a fun day where we stand in front of god and our friends and family. The rest isn't important. I want to feed them well, and entertain them for the day. I've got a herd of kids and a bunch more coming so i think we are going to set up guitar hero in a side room. My moh is my best friend this time and i love that he will be standing beside me this time. My bridesmaids are my friend and older kids. I picked the dresses online and they are 30 bucks. They can wear whatever shoes they already have. I don't get the drama. My ex-mil was the bridezilla at my wedding and i never want to go through something like that again!
 
2012-10-05 11:50:51 AM  
Wow, just wow. This one's a "real keeper," as my dad would have said in that biting alcoholic tone he used to use. Been in a few weddings, no bridezillas thankfully, but some elaborate and huge formal shindigs. My own was simple. Married outside, on the waterfront, at the college we both went to. One attendant each (her sister and my best friend). Beautiful dress, rented tux. Out of 103 close friends and family who said they would come, 102 showed up. Our caterer almost didn't have enough food (they usually plan for a 10-20% attrition rate. Beware!) Reception on the water at an old beach club, sit down-dinner, open bar, lots of drunk people having a great time dancing and talking, even though many came disparate parts of our lives (family, school, work, etc.). Friends and family still talk about it (in a great-time kind of way). All for less than 12K (some of that was our own money too).

In-laws told us we could elope and use the money towards a house (as they had done). We decided to have the wedding since my family was all out of town, and we both wanted everyone to share in the day. Just celebrated 15 years together (3 kids too)! Looking back on the day, wouldn't change a thing. Want to do it all again in 10 more years to renew our vows. College garden is still there, we are still in touch (even if not best friends) with most everyone who came, and only a few family members have passed away. Cheers!
 
2012-10-05 11:51:40 AM  
Geez, a coont as bad as this one (assuming the e-mail is even real) is probably as much her own worst enemy as everyone else's. My guess is she suicides by overdosing on pills when her husband divorces her and she can no longer attract men with the pussy, because it's obvious she doesn't have anything else going for her. Kinda pathetic and sad, really.

Happiest married couple I know (going on together for 25 years) kept their wedding simple, too. Got married by the local Justice of the Peace (early enough so that he was sober), with just a few family and close friends in attendance. For both of them, the wedding wasn't anywhere nearly as important as sharing their lives with each other. I know it sounds sappy, but they really are the best of friends, and it's almost embarrassing to see how romantic they still are together. And each one of them has always supported the other in following their dreams. Maybe not having any children has helped, but their mutual commitment is one of the healthiest relationships I've ever seen any couple have.

\worked with the lady.
\\had to quit my job because I was falling for her and didn't want to be a creep. Still friends after all this time.
 
2012-10-05 11:52:56 AM  
My sister got married out two weeks ago in Charleston. There was a wedding wrapping up when we got to the park, and one starting when we left. That night I saw 4 other wedding parties abd 3 bachelorette parties.

Holy crap a lot of people get married in Charleston.
 
2012-10-05 11:54:36 AM  
I'm amazed she hasn't been outed yet.

//Fark, I am disappoint.
 
2012-10-05 11:54:36 AM  

Too Pretty For Prison: My second marriage? We jumped a plane to vegas, got married in street clothes, and spent our honeymoon being tourists in the Grand Canyon and floating down a river. That was 18 years ago. I love her more today than I did then.


This is exactly the kind of wedding I want, and I'm always delighted to hear stories of those marriages working out.

Now, I just have to not let him drive me to the point of killing him...

(I kid, I kid. He'd make the same joke.)
 
2012-10-05 11:54:46 AM  

BrynnMacFlynn: addy2: WhippingBoy: The only thing worse than a self-entitled bride to be are the people who feel compelled to point out that "they're not like that" to all and sundry...

Thank you. It was getting thick with self congratulations in here. Happens in the kid raising threads too. We can all be assh*les now and then. It's usually okay.

To be fair, there hasn't been a good ol' child raising or marriage thread in a while. Or I just missed all the trainwreckyness. There's a lot of self-congratulatin' humors that need to be outed apparently.


Don't get me wrong, I love to read about weddings. Very enjoyable and I enjoy reading about the clever ways folks built their day. Just not in that context.
 
2012-10-05 11:54:51 AM  
So she probably lives off her soon to be husband......and he will dump her.....and then she'll end up a broke welfare crazy cat lady.
 
2012-10-05 11:54:54 AM  
Don't forget the Divorce Party on September 15th. I expect you all to attend and listen to me whine about what a beast Jake was. Bring a gift and a premium bottle of Vodak. If you can't afford Grey Goose or better, don't bother coming!

Then we will start all over with my marriage to Raul, the pool boy from the hotel in Las Vegas. We'll need to move fast since he is in the country on a Visa and it'll expire soon.
 
2012-10-05 11:54:57 AM  
Weddings are such a HUGE waste of time and money. I'm glad I found a gal who felt the same way about it that I did. My in-laws are fairly well-off, and they gave us 3 options, all of which would cost them roughly the same amount:

1. They would fly us all (us, our siblings, them and my parents) to Vegas for a weekend and do the whole Vegas quickie wedding thing at a chapel somewhere, take in some shows, just have fun in Vegas for a couple of days. Everything was on them.

2. Very simple, small wedding with immediate family and very close friends only, with small informal reception afterwards and no dance. As a gift they would give us a 4 day honeymoon cruise to Mexico and a brand new washer/dryer set and dishwasher (we didn't have a dishwasher at the time).

3. Fancy wedding.

We really went back and forth between 1 and 2, which both sounded like a lot of fun. We eventually settled on 2 because we really needed the appliances and I had never been on a cruise before. I think we made the right choice. I don't think they spent more than $200 on the actual wedding, and we're still together 8 years later. I've seen people drop tens of thousands of dollars on weddings and be divorced within a few years. They probably didn't even have the wedding paid for yet by the time the marriage was over. We're still using the appliances.
 
2012-10-05 11:56:36 AM  

BrynnMacFlynn: ... Okay, wives of Fark, be honest, is it really necessary to be a complete biatch? Do you wish you'd been a bridezilla if only a little? Did it really ruin your entire life to not control every little detail of the wedding?

/important because I'm hoping and hoping that the boyfriend will propose soon


Not yet married, but I don't get the bridezilla attitude in the slightest and I friggin' hate that reality show. My mom and sister watch it solely for the trash factor but really I can't stand how those women behave. I can see being flustered and pissed off if say, the caterer doesn't show up. But brides who feel like they have to lash out and crap on others instead of solving the issue is just embarrassing to me.

If my boyfriend proposes, my goal for a wedding is to have a great time and not drama by fussing over stupid shiat like napkin colors. Bridesmaids? Who needs 'em. We're atheist so luckily I won't have to deal with a formal church wedding. Just bring on the friends, family, cake and booze and we'll figure out what's cool for BOTH of us.

The best wedding I ever went to was one where the bride was going around to every table - including the kids' - and making sure everyone was having a blast (and were we ever). I couldn't imagine there being a soul present who wasn't genuinely happy for her, and not feeling obligated to humor a stuck-up princess with the aid of several screwdrivers. Attitude makes such a difference in outcome.

IMO, the situation where you want to be a complete biatch is if you have a controlling mom or someone crazy in the family who insists on telling you what to do and wants to run the show.  THEN by all means be a fire-belching ogre.
 
2012-10-05 12:01:46 PM  

mindaroth: I just don't get weddings, period. They make no sense to me. I mean, okay, I'm not religious, so I don't need the sermon and vows and stuff anyway. I just can't identify with anyone who feels like a wedding is necessary. If you want one, fine, but nobody NEEDS one. I had a party with some kegs and some BBQ, and spent a few minutes in a fancy white dress to please my parents and make sure they had pictures of the "special day" (the dress was amazing, but it was a friend's dress from her wedding). I don't feel like I am missing out on anything.

Women who have had weddings of any size, why was it important to you? Legit question, not asking to snark.


It wasn't important to me at all. It was important to my Mother. I, of course, threw a fit. I can be rather elusive and most of the time when we have guests over, they're not even sure if I'm here or not. Well, until Grandma starts yelling for something - I'm her primary caregiver. When I come dashing out of my Super Secret Lair of Infinite Doom to see what has her in such a state, well, the jig is up and then I have to socialize, which I hate, especially with people I have almost nothing in common with in the first place. I've been that way my entire life. We compromised when mom started crying when I said "Oh, hells no!". We dashed up to Reno with my mom, dad, sister and her BF and one of my BFFs (who drove like a maniac all the way up there, insisting he never claimed we'd not be injured or crippled in a nasty accident when we got there, just still alive. WTF, dude?). Mom paid for everything, we drove back to Sacramento same evening, went to sleep and went to work the next day. Easy, low key, and ticked his family off because they're Catholic. Even though we're divorced now, his parents still refer to me as "the whore" because we were not married in a Catholic church, therefore we were never married.

/got married in "Cupid's Chapel of Love"
//picked that one for the cheesiness factor
///wish the minister dude had been dressed like cupid, would have been frightening, but funny
 
2012-10-05 12:02:50 PM  
Bridezilla? nononononono... a Bridezilla would get crushed by a b*tch like this. This is a case of a Bridethulhu.

media.offbeatbride.com 

Just started planning a wedding myself. I told my sister, the only attendant I'm having, to pimp slap me anytime I get unreasonable.
 
2012-10-05 12:08:53 PM  

KatjaMouse: Bridezilla? nononononono... a Bridezilla would get crushed by a b*tch like this. This is a case of a Bridethulhu.

 

Just started planning a wedding myself. I told my sister, the only attendant I'm having, to pimp slap me anytime I get unreasonable.


Yes, but can Bridethuhlu be beaten by Mintberry Crunch?
 
2012-10-05 12:11:34 PM  
Strong fake vibes. Not even worth commenting on. This smells viral as fark.
 
2012-10-05 12:13:23 PM  
When same-sex marriage becomes legal here (or at the very least civil unions... we can't even have domestic partnerships in Nebraska yet ;_;) I'm thinking a small ceremony would be nice (maybe with our Dungeon Master presiding), and then a raucous reception. Since I'm working toward a baking/pastry degree and Pastry Culinarian certification, I can even do the cake by myself.

/fairly certain neither of us are the type who would be prone to becoming bridezillas
 
2012-10-05 12:14:23 PM  

Trail Mix: Magorn: I was a groomsman in a wedding, featured on the TLC show "Who's Wedding is it anyway?" That was an Orthodox jewish ceremony with a pirate theme that took place on the deck of the Mooshalu (old Tall ship in Philly harbor that's now a restuarant) and was officiated by probably the only Rabbi in the world who was fluent in Gaelic and Hebrew (she was marrying an Irishman). It was the single most elaborate wedding I've ever been to, (the rehersal dinner took over a Morroccan restuarant and featured an internationally famous belly dancer) and as a close freind of bride and groom I was involved from the very beggining, and the couple still made maybe 1/10th of the demands on me that this "woman" is asking of her friends

See, that's an elaborate wedding that actually sounds like the effort put in was worth the experience.


Yeah, the Bride in that wedding has a very special knack for doing extravagant, fantastic events without spending a ton of money or being particularly obnoxious about it (her daughter's Bat-Mitzvah was a costume party with a time travel theme held at a Philly history museum, She also went to Burning Man and ran a restuarant in a circus tent that served a different four course meal every night and served High tea in the afternoon)
 
2012-10-05 12:14:33 PM  
 
2012-10-05 12:15:15 PM  
I invited my "best girlfriend" L. to be the maid of honor (and in fact, my only attendant). It was a small formal ceremony, nothing lavish, and all I asked of her was that she show up and wear something appropriate. No shower, no parties, no expensive travel or hotel stays, just be there for me.

She did throw me a "bachelorette" party of sorts the week before the wedding -- she took me and some friend of hers I'd never met before to a Bennigan's, where we drank a lot of revolting shots with "sexy" names and I spent most of my evening trying to get L. to stop insisting that our waiter strip "for me". (I ended up slipping him an extra $20 and a note of apology on the way out.)

On the day of the wedding, we ended up leaving for the wedding chapel without her because she hadn't shown up yet, and left her a note on the door with the address of the venue in hopes that she'd show up. She did -- 10 minutes before the ceremony was due to start -- wearing a ratty, shapeless black polyester shirt and blouse, asking if I had a spare pair of stockings because she hadn't shaved her legs. (Or brushed her hair. Or put on makeup.) One of my other guests dragged her off to the rest room to tidy her up, and was thanked by L. calling her a biatch for gently suggesting she wasn't entirely presentable. She never did buy us a gift, though she had previously offered to buy us the bed of our choice up to $500, but that didn't bother me at all until years later...

I wasn't especially upset about any of it, really, I just kind of wished I had instead asked the friend who had so generously made my dress (by which time I had already asked the other friend) instead of L. -- that friend showed up on time and helped me get dressed, did my hair, held my hand, and generally did all the stuff one would generally expect of the MoH. I still feel kind of bad about it.

Cut to 10 years or so later. L. was getting married, and despite being Wiccan and having grown up in a secular Jewish household, she had decided to have a huge, lavish Xtian-style wedding with all the trimmings -- rented mansion, five attendants, and of course the big poofy white dress with the butt bow. (Officiated, however, by a pagan high priest and priestess wearing goofy robes.) To her credit, she did pay for the whole thing out of her own pocket -- $30k or so -- except, of course, for the expenses of her attendants. She asked me to be her maid of honor. Stupidly, I agreed to fly cross-country on my own dime and buy the dress of her choice in order to do this.

The first bridesmaid dresses she picked out were beautiful, a lovely pale peach shantung with a cut that wasn't too bridesmaidy and could easily have been cut down into a very rewearable knee-length sheath after the wedding. Unfortunately, it turned out that the size 18 (I wore a 12, but we were warned they ran "a little small") was still too small for me, and for two of the other bridesmaids as well. (It apparently fit the size 8 bridesmaid just fine.) L. picked out a different dress, one that came in sizes up to 24, and without consulting me, went ahead and ordered the 24 on my behalf (I had to pay her back) on the assumption that these other dresses would run as small as the first choice.

The dress turned out to be royal purple brocade -- much too heavy and dark for an outdoor wedding in Maryland in August -- and the size was true, which meant it was in fact *twice* my size. There was a month left to go, but L. was so terrified that if I tried to send it back I might not get the replacement in time that she insisted I have it altered to fit.

When I took it to a seamstress, she looked at me like I was crazy and said she'd basically have to completely take it apart and re-cut the fabric and put it back together, and that would cost me $250. Which I paid, because I wanted it to look right. When I got the dress back, she'd done a complete hack job on it; it didn't hang right, was still too big, and made me look like that girl in Willy Wonka who turned into a giant blueberry. Since it had taken her three weeks to alter it, there was no time to try to get it fixed.

My boyfriend and I were able to arrange to stay with his parents, but neither of us could take off enough work to be in Maryland for more than a couple of nights, so we weren't able to be there for the wedding rehearsal or dinner. By the time we arrived, L. had worked herself into a gigantic snit, and as soon as I was dressed on the day of the wedding she threw me out in favor of having the other bridesmaids assist her. On the up side, that freed me up to mingle, so I got to have a nice chat with a very prominent television journalist who turned out to be somehow related to L.'s fiance, but that was pretty much the high point of the whole event; the ceremony was interminable and exceedingly dull, and by the end of it I had sweated completely through the hideous purple gown, which, of course, I never wore again, and in fact threw away during a move a few years back because I was sick of looking at it.

Oh, and the postscript: in her "thank you" note for my gift, she actually complained that I hadn't chosen it from her registry. (I couldn't afford most of what was on it -- Lalique crystal, for god's sake, when I knew perfectly well she never personally shopped anywhere fancier than Target. I felt like a $150 gravy boat in her chosen china pattern was a pretty meaningless gift for the marriage of a friend of nearly 20 years, so I got them a nice gift for their house that actually reflected their personalities.

/A few months later I received an engraved pewter cup commemorating the wedding. I had no idea what to do with it, so I use it for loose change.
 
2012-10-05 12:17:08 PM  

Magorn: Yeah, the Bride in that wedding has a very special knack for doing extravagant, fantastic events without spending a ton of money or being particularly obnoxious about it (her daughter's Bat-Mitzvah was a costume party with a time travel theme held at a Philly history museum, She also went to Burning Man and ran a restuarant in a circus tent that served a different four course meal every night and served High tea in the afternoon)


I want to hang out with this person.
 
2012-10-05 12:17:34 PM  
She is getting off on the wrong foot already. Just because you're getting married, you, your future spouse, and the parents are the only ones this matters too. At all. Nobody else really cares. They certainly don't care enough to fly to 3 different states. The BEST thing that could happen to this girl is if every single one of them told her to take a flying leap. Celebrating your "special day" is not going to seem quite so joyous when you have alienated your 10 closest friends, and knowing you deserve them abandoning you.

In fact, I agree with everybody else. Her future husband should tell her that her piss poor attitude is making him rethink whether he wants to be tied to somebody like this for life.
 
2012-10-05 12:18:27 PM  
I have a dozen of so weddings every summer at my work motel. I've seen both great and bridezilla weddings.
I've seen enough dysfunction to last a Lifetime Network.

csb:
Naw, I have plenty though.
/csb

/Last weekend was teh ghey wedding. 50 people. Fabulous! (Really. Great group, primo food and the party tipped well.
 
2012-10-05 12:19:38 PM  

BrynnMacFlynn: vonapathy: honey, you're not ready to get married.
Why, because I admit that I still love the idea of being proposed to? OH NOES.
/sweetheart, don't be hatin'


I love the idea of being proposed to. I wouldn't marry (hypothetical) him, but it's nice to be asked.
 
2012-10-05 12:19:39 PM  
My sister's wedding: The two of them, his parents, my parents, his best friend (who just happened to be free at the time). House of a Justice of the Peace. 10 min bit and then dinner at the greek restaurant down the street. *I* wasn't even there.

She did have a "reception". It was just a party scheduled a month later. I mean, a decent one, but still very laid back. And it really was mostly an excuse to get a large number of friends and family in once place, eat awesome food, and rent a penguin.
 
2012-10-05 12:20:25 PM  

BrynnMacFlynn: ... Okay, wives of Fark, be honest, is it really necessary to be a complete biatch? Do you wish you'd been a bridezilla if only a little? Did it really ruin your entire life to not control every little detail of the wedding?


I couldn't care less about the wedding. My mom was pretty much a Mother of the Bridezilla and she made it stressful enough for me.

I was just happy to have it over with. We had eloped a few years before, but my husband swore me to secrecy because his family expected a white wedding. So did mine.
 
2012-10-05 12:20:32 PM  
Jake run like a herpes covered prostitue with a gigantic black pimp with a sawn-off shotgun are chasing you.
 
2012-10-05 12:22:38 PM  

BrynnMacFlynn: ... Okay, wives of Fark, be honest, is it really necessary to be a complete biatch? Do you wish you'd been a bridezilla if only a little? Did it really ruin your entire life to not control every little detail of the wedding?

/important because I'm hoping and hoping that the boyfriend will propose soon


Ok, so I'm not a wife, but I'm a very happy hubby to a very awesome woman. :-)

Given that you're asking this question, then that tells me that being a complete biatch is not your normal disposition. It makes me sad (about the state of society in general) that anyone thinks that sort of question even needs to be asked because of being worried that it's to be expected. No, no one needs to be a complete biatch, especially about a wedding. Instead, just plan for it to be fun, and the memories and stories that you have about it later will be much better. An enjoyable wedding with good memories is a better foundation for a good marriage.
 
2012-10-05 12:23:40 PM  

mindaroth: I just don't get weddings, period. They make no sense to me. I mean, okay, I'm not religious, so I don't need the sermon and vows and stuff anyway. I just can't identify with anyone who feels like a wedding is necessary. If you want one, fine, but nobody NEEDS one. I had a party with some kegs and some BBQ, and spent a few minutes in a fancy white dress to please my parents and make sure they had pictures of the "special day" (the dress was amazing, but it was a friend's dress from her wedding). I don't feel like I am missing out on anything.

Women who have had weddings of any size, why was it important to you? Legit question, not asking to snark.


I much preferred my elopement to my wedding. The elopement was for me and my husband. The wedding was to satisfy everyone else.
 
2012-10-05 12:24:26 PM  

Tom_Slick: First marriage wife a bridezilla, it last 2 very long years and when she left she took my dog. Second marriage (first marriage for my second wife) low key fun at an airplane hanger, took off afterwards in her B200 for a 2 week long honeymoon flying around wherever we wanted. Best 5 years of my life until that biatch named cancer took her away from me and our 3 year old.

/find a low key woman and enjoy every minute of it.

If we ever meet, the first ten beers, fifth of good whiskey and a cigar are on me
 
2012-10-05 12:24:36 PM  
I really don't understand why you would treat your friends this way. I got married this month and I'll agree that varying budgets, schedules and opinions in the wedding party caused some tense moments. Most of my bridesmaids are still in school or finishing internships so they have very little money and they all live in different states with crazy, busy schedules. Having a bunch of mandatory events with expensive presents and activities was out of the question. However, my focus was on having the people I cared about have fun and share in our day so it wasn't a big deal to make compromises, talk about things ahead of time, and help each other out with costs and scheduling. Next to getting married, the best part was seeing them all and having fun with them.

But then, I'm not a crazy biatch, which is why I'm able to have awesome friends.
 
2012-10-05 12:36:08 PM  

kiwimoogle84: blatz514: Well, I guess this broad wouldn't have liked the idea my friends did. We all, bridesmaids and groomsmen, wore purple chuck taylors.

*high five*

My reasoning was that I wouldn't wear heels- lots of grass and he was only an inch taller. Plus, we'd get the groomsmen to wear black shoes they wouldn't complain about, and the chicks could dance. Loved it!


I did this for my wedding too. Gifted my bridesmaids with Converses that they designed online. I told them to go crazy with the wedding colors (high top, double tongue, whatever) and we all had really awesome shoes to show off. I hate wearing heels and I love to dance and I decided that no one's feet should have to hurt on my wedding day. My dad tried to fight me on it, but that was one of the moments when I did say "I'm the bride so this is happening my way".
 
2012-10-05 12:37:41 PM  

brigid_fitch: CSB: The ONLY issue I had was with one high-strung bridesmaid who dragged her feet throughout the year. Whined about everything, hated all the dresses and colors, complained about being expected to find a seamstress (which I ended up finding for her with 10 months to spare), and kept calling last-minute on the few times I scheduled stuff to move it to another day or time. The other bridesmaids complained that she was negative all the time, wouldn't pitch in to help them, and only showed up at stuff they planned when there was free food. The last straw was when, a week before the wedding, she informed me that she hadn't bothered to go to the seamstress and was now being charged an extra $75 rush fee. Since I had recommended the seamstress, she felt I should pay for this. I'd had it & threw her out of the wedding party. I let her know she was still invited to everything but would just not be a bridesmaid. I offered to reimburse her for the fabric (it was nice fabric--I could use it for something) and she demanded the money immediately. Told her to hit me up after the wedding--I was crazy busy, everything had been tightly budgeted, but I'd definitely pay her.

In her wedding card to us, she wrote a note that instead of a wedding present, she was deducting the cost of the fabric. I don't think I spoke much to her after that. I don't need whiny AND petty in my life.


Yikes! That sounds a lot like my psycho bridesmaid. My out of town (two even out of state) bridesmaids could get measurements and styles to the seamstress, but the in-town one with issues was far too busy to schedule a half hour appointment a block away from her work. So frustrating! I couldn't boot her, though, becuase I was already down a bridesmaid due to a bedrest-pregnancy, so I sucked it up.

Shouldv'e kicked her out. My stress level would have gone waaaaaay down.
 
2012-10-05 12:43:03 PM  

CapeFearCadaver: vonapathy: honey, you're not ready to get married.

Because she wants her man to propose to her?


Because she won't ask him.
$10 says she corners him and makes him ask.
 
2012-10-05 12:44:48 PM  

FatMason: Ok, so I'm not a wife, but I'm a very happy hubby to a very awesome woman. :-)

Given that you're asking this question, then that tells me that being a complete biatch is not your normal disposition. It makes me sad (about the state of society in general) that anyone thinks that sort of question even needs to be asked because of being worried that it's to be expected. No, no one needs to be a complete biatch, especially about a wedding. Instead, just plan for it to be fun, and the memories and stories that you have about it later will be much better. An enjoyable wedding with good memories is a better foundation for a good marriage.


:0) Thank you. I'm just baffled by people who are so obsessed over this "one special day". I honestly think my boyfriend cares more about the details of our wedding day than I do--as long as people are having fun, and I get to say hi to all the people I love and want to share the day with, I honestly don't care.
 
2012-10-05 12:45:10 PM  
After reading this thread it's clear to me that everyone so proud of Converse footwear at their weddings are part of a large and unimaginative crowd.
 
2012-10-05 12:46:50 PM  

BrynnMacFlynn: ... Okay, wives of Fark, be honest, is it really necessary to be a complete biatch? Do you wish you'd been a bridezilla if only a little? Did it really ruin your entire life to not control every little detail of the wedding?

/important because I'm hoping and hoping that the boyfriend will propose soon


*caveat* I'm now divorced, but everyone gets married with the best of intentions, and that was YEARS ago..

No. It is NEVER necessary to be a biatch about anything. There's "Yes, you can pick from these 4 styles of bridesmaid dresses", but not "YOU WILL BUY THIS $1000 DRESS THAT YOU WILL ONLY WEAR ONCE!" It's really a matter of degrees.

I never even knew the term bridezilla back when I got married, and I stunned to find it seems to be de rigueur now. Again, there is no reason to be a biatch. It's "your day" to you, it's "a day" to everyone else. It's important to remember that.

I happily solicited and accepted help from my friends to prepare. My parents were already dead, so my sister stepped in and helped with flowers and cake, other friends helped with addressing invitations, arranging tours of halls and things. Help is good. Again, it may be your day, but it's still just a day. Something is going to go wrong, bet on it. So why sweat every last detail when in the larger picture, the people there (hopefully) aren't there for the glam, glitz, and precious moments figurines, but to wish you well on an important day of your life.

Think of it as a nice party.
 
2012-10-05 12:47:59 PM  
I was in my brother's wedding a couple weeks ago and the bride couldn't have been more laid back. Not a bridezilla moment to be had AND there were fireworks, a candy buffet and a nacho cart.

fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.net

Also, my son picked up his first date:

fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.net

He walked away saying "Bye!".
 
2012-10-05 12:48:17 PM  

SlothB77: Anyone remember the movie City Slickers with Billy Crystal? Daniel Stern's character's, Phil, wife?


One of my favorite movie scenes!

Arlene: I hate you!
Phil: I hate you more! If hate were people - I'd be China!
 
2012-10-05 12:52:38 PM  
We've been together for almost a decade, and we were thinking about dressing up and getting married on Halloween. Just me and him. Fun.
 
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