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(LiveLeak)   Awesome: you have a beautiful 150lb dog. Not so awesome: trying to make him get off the bed when he doesn't wanna   (liveleak.com) divider line 20
    More: Amusing, dogs  
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10264 clicks; posted to Video » on 05 Oct 2012 at 11:10 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-10-05 08:39:30 AM  
4 votes:

HST's Dead Carcass: I hope that's not a daily problem, that would get annoying after a while. And, I'm the farking boss of the house, dog, don't even think different!

I'm still not sure what I would do in that situation, probably just crawl in bed with the dog and try to make space.


You can either assert yourself and tell the dog firmly and in no uncertain terms to get off the farking bed or you can get a dog biscuit and lure it off the bed.

That is clearly an undisciplined dog that was never trained properly and the mastiff hasn't been either.
2012-10-05 08:24:48 AM  
4 votes:
I put my headphones on at work and started to watch. Then I moved my chair back and it popped the headphone cord out and loudly broadcasted the woman yelling and the dog replying "YOU GET OFF THE BED-euggghhhhhhh!!!!"

No, I'm not watching porn but it sure sounded like it.
2012-10-05 03:17:44 PM  
3 votes:
I was kind of waiting for the dog to start farking her.
2012-10-05 09:47:01 AM  
3 votes:
You have to be the alpha dog in this situation and outlounge the pooch.  Once it sees there is no way it can be more relaxed then you, you can slooooowly and ever so sleepily put it into a choke hold. 
2012-10-05 09:29:48 AM  
3 votes:

AbbeySomeone: Those are two of the breeds that are most likely to bite someone. Evil dogs/


Yes, but when they bite you, you can kick them across the yard. You can't do that with a real dog.
2012-10-05 09:01:22 AM  
3 votes:
People that completely ineffective at controlling their dog should be allowed to have only the sub-dog varietals, such as Pomeranians and dachshunds. Not the ones that can actually cause damage to others.
2012-10-05 05:50:34 PM  
2 votes:

OnlyM3: In three years she'll be waddling through wal-mart with two uncontrolled kids who are screaming at the top of their lungs and breaking things in every aisle as she shrieks

quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it.. . quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it... quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it... quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it... quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it... quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it... quit-it...quit-it...

and doing not a g.d. thing to actually stop them.


she's as worthless as her trash kids will be.


For a second there I thought you inadvertently posted that here when you meant it for the Honey Boo Boo thread.
2012-10-05 07:03:48 AM  
2 votes:
I love Mastiff and that video is classic behavior for them. Most of them think they are lap dogs
CSS - We were fostering a Mastiff about that size a few years back. Lovable but very stubborn. One day I woke up from a nap and he was snuggled up next to me with his head on Mr.S's pillow, snoring away. Cute.
2012-10-06 11:17:53 AM  
1 votes:

LeglessDog: Mija: The disgusting pig let a dog on her bed in the first place. Beds are for people. The floor or dog bed is for the dog. She deserves what she gets for treating an animal like a person.

THIS

I have stopped talking to women (who I was interested in dating) because they wanted their dog to sleep in their bed with them . . . .


IN the bed? No. ON the bed? I'm okay with that.
2012-10-05 07:08:23 PM  
1 votes:

OnlyM3: she's as worthless as her trash kids will be.


I am impressed that you can tell all of that from a video. You should probably start your own practice
2012-10-05 06:36:05 PM  
1 votes:

HairBolus: gee, if the link was to the YouTube vid: "Waking Up an English Mastiff... ", Uploaded by mouseanater on Feb 11, 2012

people could see the uploader's comment:

"This is my Mastiff Lincoln doing everything he can to NOT have to get off the bed. THIS IS JUST PLAY, IF I ASK HIM TO GET OFF THE BED STERNLY HE WILL JUMP RIGHT OFF, Lets keep the animal training comments to a minimum!! I REPEAT WE ARE PLLAAYYYIINNNG."


Do NOT mock internet experts
2012-10-05 02:24:28 PM  
1 votes:

Canton: And hey, don't knock the small dogs. My aunt has an amazing Jack Russell,


Jack Russell's aren't small dogs. Just ask them.
2012-10-05 12:33:59 PM  
1 votes:

MaxxLarge: Where I come from, most bedrooms have DOORS. If you don't want the dog on the bed, try shutting it.

And yes, I know Mastiffs are big dogs. I used to live with a roommate that had a big, slobbery, loveable English Mastiff that was even bigger than this one. But even at her most defiant, she didn't have the opposable thumbs necessary to work the bloody doorknob.


lh6.googleusercontent.com

Soon.
2012-10-05 11:38:50 AM  
1 votes:

RexTalionis: Use the dog as a pillow and drap yourself over it! Stay in that position until the dog gets annoyed and walks off.


Crushing a dog with a huge manatee is a misdemeanor.
2012-10-05 11:36:42 AM  
1 votes:
All I have to do now is just get the squirt bottle out of the cabinet and my dogs somehow miraculously understand english again.
2012-10-05 10:27:39 AM  
1 votes:
Where I come from, most bedrooms have DOORS. If you don't want the dog on the bed, try shutting it.

And yes, I know Mastiffs are big dogs. I used to live with a roommate that had a big, slobbery, loveable English Mastiff that was even bigger than this one. But even at her most defiant, she didn't have the opposable thumbs necessary to work the bloody doorknob.
2012-10-05 10:06:48 AM  
1 votes:

RexTalionis: Use the dog as a pillow and drap yourself over it! Stay in that position until the dog gets annoyed and walks off.


You know how I know you've never had a Mastiff?
2012-10-05 09:54:41 AM  
1 votes:
Use the dog as a pillow and drap yourself over it! Stay in that position until the dog gets annoyed and walks off.
2012-10-05 09:43:44 AM  
1 votes:
I'm impressed at all of the expert dog trainers we have on fark, that have never had their dog ignore them in favor of staying somewhere comfy. You all should have a show.
2012-10-05 09:27:11 AM  
1 votes:

Pocket Ninja: People that completely ineffective at controlling their dog should be allowed to have only the sub-dog varietals, such as Pomeranians and dachshunds. Not the ones that can actually cause damage to others.


Those are two of the breeds that are most likely to bite someone. Evil dogs/
 
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