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(LiveLeak)   Awesome: you have a beautiful 150lb dog. Not so awesome: trying to make him get off the bed when he doesn't wanna   (liveleak.com) divider line 91
    More: Amusing, dogs  
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10261 clicks; posted to Video » on 05 Oct 2012 at 11:10 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-10-05 03:17:44 PM
I was kind of waiting for the dog to start farking her.
 
2012-10-05 03:31:54 PM

Diogenes: desertmouse: That dog was wagging its tail -- he could tell by the tone of her voice she wasn't really serious. There are probably other times when she truly shrieks at him and he launches out of the bed with his tail between his legs.

I agree. It seemed like they were both playing a game.


The play bow was also a big giveaway that the pooch and owner were just goofing off. Too cute.
 
2012-10-05 04:02:26 PM
I like the part where she said "Get down!"
 
2012-10-05 04:24:31 PM
Just because it's cute when your 25 pound puppy does it, does not mean it will be cute when your 150 pounder is still doing it.

Going to guess this is the guy's dog who was around before the girlfriend. Obviously she didn't take time to get to know and train Mr.Big.
 
2012-10-05 04:34:17 PM

Dr_luckyz: I'm impressed at all of the expert dog trainers we have on fark, that have never had their dog ignore them in favor of staying somewhere comfy. You all should have a show.


I have taken care of many people's dogs over the years and I never met ONE who wouldn't get down off the bed/couch/chair for a treat. Not ONE!
 
2012-10-05 04:38:52 PM
Very cute. Looks like a night on the couch for her. She must be a new dog owner. She has to get 2 of their favorite treats. Give one to them, show the doggie the second one. Put it on the floor far enough so that you can get on the bed and when doggie goes to get it, jump in bed and cover up.

I have a king size bed and have to bargain with my 3 big dogs for a spot most of the time
 
2012-10-05 05:03:06 PM
In three years she'll be waddling through wal-mart with two uncontrolled kids who are screaming at the top of their lungs and breaking things in every aisle as she shrieks

quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it.. . quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it... quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it... quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it... quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it... quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it... quit-it...quit-it...

and doing not a g.d. thing to actually stop them.


she's as worthless as her trash kids will be.
 
2012-10-05 05:07:05 PM

crzybtch: Dr_luckyz: I'm impressed at all of the expert dog trainers we have on fark, that have never had their dog ignore them in favor of staying somewhere comfy. You all should have a show.

I have taken care of many people's dogs over the years and I never met ONE who wouldn't get down off the bed/couch/chair for a treat. Not ONE!


Well then, I guess we can assume no dogs ever would want to stay on the bed. Appreciate your correcting me.
 
2012-10-05 05:22:31 PM
I bet she spoons with the dog at night
 
2012-10-05 05:50:34 PM

OnlyM3: In three years she'll be waddling through wal-mart with two uncontrolled kids who are screaming at the top of their lungs and breaking things in every aisle as she shrieks

quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it.. . quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it... quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it... quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it... quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it... quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it...quit-it... quit-it...quit-it...

and doing not a g.d. thing to actually stop them.


she's as worthless as her trash kids will be.


For a second there I thought you inadvertently posted that here when you meant it for the Honey Boo Boo thread.
 
2012-10-05 06:04:19 PM

AbbeySomeone: Pocket Ninja: People that completely ineffective at controlling their dog should be allowed to have only the sub-dog varietals, such as Pomeranians and dachshunds. Not the ones that can actually cause damage to others.

Those are two of the breeds that are most likely to bite someone be farking annoying.

 
2012-10-05 06:36:05 PM

HairBolus: gee, if the link was to the YouTube vid: "Waking Up an English Mastiff... ", Uploaded by mouseanater on Feb 11, 2012

people could see the uploader's comment:

"This is my Mastiff Lincoln doing everything he can to NOT have to get off the bed. THIS IS JUST PLAY, IF I ASK HIM TO GET OFF THE BED STERNLY HE WILL JUMP RIGHT OFF, Lets keep the animal training comments to a minimum!! I REPEAT WE ARE PLLAAYYYIINNNG."


Do NOT mock internet experts
 
2012-10-05 07:08:23 PM

OnlyM3: she's as worthless as her trash kids will be.


I am impressed that you can tell all of that from a video. You should probably start your own practice
 
2012-10-05 07:58:48 PM
I love dogs
 
2012-10-05 09:21:33 PM

iron_city_ap: 2 Irish Wolfhounds at home. They get like this every so often. fark it. Let em' sleep. If I really need them to get up, jingling the car keys works like a charm.


Jesus. How much do you spend a week on dog food?
 
2012-10-05 09:29:25 PM

DrZiffle: The circuit for that outlet on the wall by the bed is seriously overloaded, so they'll all be dead soon anyway.


Looks to me like it's just a cellphone or laptop/tablet charger.
 
2012-10-05 10:19:27 PM
The disgusting pig let a dog on her bed in the first place. Beds are for people. The floor or dog bed is for the dog. She deserves what she gets for treating an animal like a person.
 
2012-10-05 10:28:52 PM
At first I started chuckling when the dog growled and threatened to bite her, and she responded by jamming her finger in there and pointing out that she knows he would never do it.

Then I came in here with all the internet toughguys who couldn't tell she was just playing around, and I ROFL'd. If a mastiff doesn't want to go somewhere, it just lies down and doesn't move. It wouldn't bother with the theatrics when dead weight is more effective.
 
2012-10-05 10:41:26 PM
She was playing and the Mastiff knew this as shown by the "play bow," wagging tail, and the little circle he would make on the bed. This is a show of happy excitement.
The growling was playful and the Mastiff was all too careful in making sure he grabbed with his mouth instead of biting.

That video just made me smile.
 
2012-10-05 10:49:46 PM

desertmouse: That dog was wagging its tail -- he could tell by the tone of her voice she wasn't really serious. There are probably other times when she truly shrieks at him and he launches out of the bed with his tail between his legs.


Small woman with a Newfoundland here. He may ignore me once or twice, but when I get "mad" enough to stamp my foot he moves fast.
 
2012-10-05 11:13:33 PM

Mija: The disgusting pig let a dog on her bed in the first place. Beds are for people. The floor or dog bed is for the dog. She deserves what she gets for treating an animal like a person.


Not a dog lover, huh? Your loss.

farm4.staticflickr.com
 
2012-10-05 11:14:17 PM
RoyBatty: I was kind of waiting for the dog to start farking her.

Goddammit, I cannot stop laughing at this. Full point.
 
2012-10-05 11:28:29 PM
If you tell the dog to get down, then pet him, scratch his ears, and give him a kiss on the forehead when he doesn't, he learns real fast that the best way to get some affectionate attention from his owner is not to get off the bed when he hears "get off the bed".
 
2012-10-05 11:46:05 PM

cepson: If you tell the dog to get down, then pet him, scratch his ears, and give him a kiss on the forehead when he doesn't, he learns real fast that the best way to get some affectionate attention from his owner is not to get off the bed when he hears "get off the bed".


This.
 
2012-10-05 11:53:21 PM
I love all the people who think somehow a dog has to everything the second it's said or it's the end of the world. Heaven forbid you just enjoy a dog and recognize that sometimes it just wants to lay in bed.
 
2012-10-05 11:54:40 PM
I can solve that with the expert application of fulcrums.
 
2012-10-06 12:16:17 AM

ZMugg: Soon.


Some border collies can open doors. My previous cat figured out how doorknobs work but the round ones were too slippery for him to turn. Didn't keep him from trying.
 
2012-10-06 01:28:16 AM

ZMugg: MaxxLarge: Where I come from, most bedrooms have DOORS. If you don't want the dog on the bed, try shutting it.

And yes, I know Mastiffs are big dogs. I used to live with a roommate that had a big, slobbery, loveable English Mastiff that was even bigger than this one. But even at her most defiant, she didn't have the opposable thumbs necessary to work the bloody doorknob.

[lh6.googleusercontent.com image 358x485]

Soon.


That comic set off my autism alarm as a kid. If that dog can use a screwdriver, he can use a doorknob!
 
2012-10-06 02:46:11 AM

albuquerquehalsey: That comic set off my autism alarm as a kid. If that dog can use a screwdriver, he can use a doorknob!


Don't mistake common sense for autism. You are more normal than you might think.
 
2012-10-06 04:50:56 AM
God, her sheets must be gross.
 
2012-10-06 05:37:36 AM

indarwinsshadow: I love that dog. We can't have a dog because my wife has serious allergies to dander so we're dogless. Dammit.


These dogs are touted as hypoallergenic by the AKC;
Border Terrier
Chinese Crested
Coton de Tulear
Havanese
Irish Water Spaniel
Kerry Blue Terrier
Maltese
Poodle
Portuguese Water Dog
Puli
Schnauzer
Shih Tzu
Soft Coated Wheaten Terrier
Xoloitzcuintli
Yorkshire TerrierBasenji
Bedlington Terrier
Bichon Frise
None of these would be my first choice, but if you really wanted a dog here are some options.
We have a 120lb Swiss Mountain dog that acts very similar to the dog in the video ( blames wife)
 
2012-10-06 06:56:14 AM
Awww the doggie is a sweetie!
 
2012-10-06 09:41:14 AM
Where does a 150 lb. Mastiff sleep?
 
2012-10-06 11:09:23 AM

Mija: The disgusting pig let a dog on her bed in the first place. Beds are for people. The floor or dog bed is for the dog. She deserves what she gets for treating an animal like a person.


THIS

I have stopped talking to women (who I was interested in dating) because they wanted their dog to sleep in their bed with them . . . .
 
2012-10-06 11:17:53 AM

LeglessDog: Mija: The disgusting pig let a dog on her bed in the first place. Beds are for people. The floor or dog bed is for the dog. She deserves what she gets for treating an animal like a person.

THIS

I have stopped talking to women (who I was interested in dating) because they wanted their dog to sleep in their bed with them . . . .


IN the bed? No. ON the bed? I'm okay with that.
 
2012-10-06 07:35:32 PM

Broom: Canton: And hey, don't knock the small dogs. My aunt has an amazing Jack Russell,

Jack Russell's aren't small dogs. Just ask them.


A dog's perceived size is inversely proportional to its actual size.
 
2012-10-06 08:00:12 PM

summersa74: Broom: Canton: And hey, don't knock the small dogs. My aunt has an amazing Jack Russell,

Jack Russell's aren't small dogs. Just ask them.

A dog's perceived size is inversely proportional to its actual size.


For starters... but a toy poodle/chihuahua/furry insect will back away. A Jack, a pug, or a boston terrier will go down believing they're winning the fight...

:)
 
2012-10-06 11:04:44 PM

Broom: summersa74: Broom: Canton: And hey, don't knock the small dogs. My aunt has an amazing Jack Russell,

Jack Russell's aren't small dogs. Just ask them.

A dog's perceived size is inversely proportional to its actual size.

For starters... but a toy poodle/chihuahua/furry insect will back away. A Jack, a pug, or a boston terrier will go down believing they're winning the fight...

:)


Add Dachshund to that list...
 
2012-10-06 11:51:13 PM

stiletto_the_wise: Broom: summersa74: Broom: Canton: And hey, don't knock the small dogs. My aunt has an amazing Jack Russell,

Jack Russell's aren't small dogs. Just ask them.

A dog's perceived size is inversely proportional to its actual size.

For starters... but a toy poodle/chihuahua/furry insect will back away. A Jack, a pug, or a boston terrier will go down believing they're winning the fight...

:)

Add Dachshund to that list...


The dogs bred to run into a badger's lair, and drag them out by their nose.
 
2012-10-07 10:48:50 PM

zenobia: Small woman with a Newfoundland here


I...think I love you :*)

/dated two women with Newfdawgs. The dogs were nicer to me
 
2012-10-08 04:25:52 AM

ZMugg: MaxxLarge: Where I come from, most bedrooms have DOORS. If you don't want the dog on the bed, try shutting it.

And yes, I know Mastiffs are big dogs. I used to live with a roommate that had a big, slobbery, loveable English Mastiff that was even bigger than this one. But even at her most defiant, she didn't have the opposable thumbs necessary to work the bloody doorknob.

[lh6.googleusercontent.com image 358x485]

Soon.


My cats understand exactly what it is and how it works. They also understand that they'll never turn it but I can, therefore they get me to do it. Of course, they're making me type this as well...
 
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