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(YouTube) Video How to chop a banana   (youtube.com) divider line 48
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7243 clicks; posted to Video » on 05 Oct 2012 at 8:46 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-10-05 05:40:48 AM  
Live and learn
 
2012-10-05 08:20:31 AM  
I hate it when ADHD kids discover the kitchen for the very first time.
 
2012-10-05 08:48:19 AM  
Was that supposed to be funny??????
 
2012-10-05 08:49:41 AM  
doing it wrong
 
2012-10-05 09:00:12 AM  
Headline unrelated
 
2012-10-05 09:01:27 AM  
Well that is one second of my life I shall never see again... LOL
 
2012-10-05 09:04:41 AM  
upload.wikimedia.org

/Hot
 
2012-10-05 09:05:57 AM  

Kazahmish: Well that is one second of my life I shall never see again... LOL


Two seconds for me.

/I watched it twice.
 
2012-10-05 09:06:39 AM  
I don't have that kind of time - can someone summarize it for me?
 
2012-10-05 09:07:18 AM  
It had a certain minimalist brilliance about it, not unlike the lawn chair storm damage.

I give it 100 points.
 
2012-10-05 09:10:41 AM  
anyone else play it twice...just to make sure they didnt miss something?

/guilty as derp
 
2012-10-05 09:13:01 AM  
Fake...
 
2012-10-05 09:26:48 AM  

Zap_Rowsdower: I don't have that kind of time - can someone summarize it for me?


tl; dw: CHOP
 
2012-10-05 09:26:53 AM  
ferchristsakes Submitter .... how about a NSFW tag huh?

/hope I don't get fired
 
2012-10-05 09:28:13 AM  
oh. so me throwing the knife in the air, and then throwing the banana at it is the wrong way?

thanks internet.
 
2012-10-05 09:30:03 AM  
This banana represents a typical dystopian society, and is best described with words like unlivable, stark, dreary, or as Lone VVolf so eloquently put... "fake". Also, notice this associated dystopia has widespread privations and lack of personal freedoms, as well as political oppression, or systematic discrimination based on sex, age or IQ.

This IS the proverbial war of all against all... and is a staple of a dystopian society. It entails the most brutal struggle for survival and other times it gives rise to a rampant paranoia.

In this provacative film, everyone is suspicious of everyone else, and everybody is freaked out because they can't tell a friend from foe as the lines between the two are so blurred and fuzzy that virtually everybody and everything poses a potential threat to life and limb.

Though this dystopia may vary in things like the system of government, level of state control and living standard, to name just a few, it nonetheless, like government has a lot in common, so much so that just as you can easily distinguish one dystopia from another you can also always tell a dystopian society from one that is not.
 
2012-10-05 09:30:14 AM  

Outlaw2097: anyone else play it twice...just to make sure they didnt miss something?

/guilty as derp


Yup
 
2012-10-05 09:45:45 AM  

OHDUDENESS: Outlaw2097: anyone else play it twice...just to make sure they didnt miss something?

/guilty as derp

Yup


yeah, i had to play it twice just to make sure I understood and i could safely do this at home. then i posted it to my facebook to share with my friends.
 
2012-10-05 09:51:06 AM  
1. Get to da choppa
 
2012-10-05 09:51:44 AM  

BC-D2: doing it wrong


I know, right?


There should have been a 15-second intro with crappy music over the credits followed by a dozen slow-motion repeats of the chopping of the banana and another 20 seconds of credits at the end.

And they should have had Michael J. Fox hold their cell-phone for them in portrait mode.
 
2012-10-05 10:01:49 AM  
That's not how you chop a banana. You start the peel in three sections and pull down to about 1/2" above the base of the banana. Pull two of the peel sections out of the way, and lay the banana down on cutting surface with the third peel section between the banana and the cutting surface. Then slice through the banana, with enough pressure so that it stops at the peel. It works well for cereal to cut into small slices, pick up the peel section that was between the banana and cutting surface and lift from both ends. The slices rides up like they are in a hammock (no pun) and then can be dumped into the bowl. Then throw the whole peeled mess into the trash with nothing really to clean up. That's how you slice a banana.
 
2012-10-05 10:19:39 AM  

rudemix: That's not how you chop a banana. ...That's how you slice a banana.


Somebody doesn't know the difference between "chop" and "slice".
 
2012-10-05 10:20:41 AM  
I watched it twice.
 
2012-10-05 10:54:46 AM  
 
2012-10-05 11:18:05 AM  

HairBolus: rudemix: That's not how you chop a banana. ...That's how you slice a banana.

Somebody doesn't know the difference between "chop" and "slice".


I didn't util you mentioned it. I googled the two terms and in addition to being blown away, I realize my off the cuff post caused by caffeine exuberance and a ance to share banana knowledge was so foolish. I'm grateful to you for being a part of Fark, and caring enough to make sure that every post in here conforms to correctness to the topic at hand. I'd praise you more, but this beng Fark, I know you have to hurry off to correct someone else. Good looking out, HairBolus. You saved me from looking foolish. You're top notch!
 
2012-10-05 11:24:16 AM  
I take it that one of the moderators kids filmed that, and the proud parent reaaaaallllllyyyy wanted to share with the rest of us.

.
..
...
I f*cking hated it by the way.
 
Bf+
2012-10-05 11:28:06 AM  
Ug. Just skip to 0:01.

/You're welcome
 
2012-10-05 11:28:36 AM  

LoneVVolf: Fake...


One free intertubes for you!
 
2012-10-05 11:29:38 AM  

Outlaw2097: anyone else play it twice...just to make sure they didnt miss something?

/guilty as derp




Yup.
 
2012-10-05 11:31:40 AM  
I thought that would be difficult to masturbate to, but I finished.
 
2012-10-05 11:54:53 AM  

rudemix: You saved me from looking foolish.


I guess whiny passive aggression is not dead.
 
2012-10-05 12:18:11 PM  
media.tumblr.com
 
2012-10-05 12:19:48 PM  

rudemix: That's not how you chop a banana. You start the peel in three sections and pull down to about 1/2" above the base of the banana. Pull two of the peel sections out of the way, and lay the banana down on cutting surface with the third peel section between the banana and the cutting surface. Then slice through the banana, with enough pressure so that it stops at the peel. It works well for cereal to cut into small slices, pick up the peel section that was between the banana and cutting surface and lift from both ends. The slices rides up like they are in a hammock (no pun) and then can be dumped into the bowl. Then throw the whole peeled mess into the trash with nothing really to clean up. That's how you slice a banana.


I agree to some extent, but not 100%. Oh I mean, to be sure, look at the angle he's holding the knife compared to the counter top to the banana. Now, sure for the rank amateur maybe you can get away with that sort of thing, but this person purports to be a professional. Also he's clearly not properly maintaining his cutlery! That's a quick way to a Fark headline of your own.

Your method, well I suppose it's reasonable, of course it's classic North East Liberal methods. But the idea would be to lay the banana on a cutting board, cut very slowly along the back arch of the banana from top to bottom. Then, carefully cut the long stem end from the fruit and discard. Next, cut along the inside arch, all the way down to the bottom of the banana, and peel away each side.

It's imperative to keep ones knives sharp for this sort of procedure, and I can't stress this enough. Obviously you pose a risk to yourself and your neighbors if you attempt cutting a banana, and an even greater risk if you use dull knives on apples.
 
2012-10-05 12:46:21 PM  
Very compelling. Would watch again.
 
2012-10-05 12:46:31 PM  
Ok, that's 2 today.

The video tab is now dead to me.
 
2012-10-05 01:12:49 PM  
thewisecracker.com
 
2012-10-05 01:15:28 PM  

Hack Patooey: [thewisecracker.com image 400x300]


A bah-nah-nah?!?!
 
2012-10-05 03:17:21 PM  
Lorena Bobbitt did it best.
 
2012-10-05 05:03:35 PM  
What's next on the Fark video tab? How to wipe your butt?
 
2012-10-05 05:13:22 PM  
I just wasted 450 milliseconds of my life. Dammit.
 
2012-10-05 05:14:42 PM  

Marshall Willenholly: What's next on the Fark video tab? How to wipe your butt?


Be CAREFUL of what you ask ... I've seen EPIC threads about that very subject :\
 
2012-10-05 05:24:14 PM  
Wait..... for it.
 
2012-10-05 10:08:06 PM  
it's a streetlight people.


imnotsayingitsalensbutitsaliens.jpg
 
2012-10-06 12:06:42 AM  

RiverRat: Marshall Willenholly: What's next on the Fark video tab? How to wipe your butt?

Be CAREFUL of what you ask ... I've seen EPIC threads about that very subject :\


I don't know. I once submitted a headline to TotalFark Discussion titled "I have dandruffy eyebrows, please help" and I got banninated for a week for abusing the queue.
 
2012-10-06 02:07:11 AM  
Now experience the power of this fully armed and operational TotalFark account.
 
2012-10-06 12:07:02 PM  
The instructions were not very clear... I ended up with diced olives.
 
2012-10-06 12:19:27 PM  
Anxiously waiting for the dubstep remix.
 
2012-10-07 06:43:11 AM  
I couldn't make it through the whole video.
 
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