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(Boomstick Comics)   'Taken 2' is not a good film, but on a Nic Cage scale, it's a 9 out of 10   (boomstickcomics.com) divider line 58
    More: Amusing, Liam Neeson, Love Actually, Maggie Grace, MacGyver, magic markers, falls in love  
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2521 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 05 Oct 2012 at 3:31 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-10-04 05:40:16 PM
Oh, Liam... :-(
 
2012-10-04 10:11:59 PM
wow 16% on rotten tomatoes, yuck!
 
2012-10-05 12:56:29 AM
"OK listen closely...you are going to be taken...I know what you're thinking, 'Is this guy crazy? Is he just having weird Eurotrash friends from his CIA days kidnap his daughter and ex-wife so he can be heroic and win them back into his life?' and the answer is, well maybe, but you can't know, so just believe me when I say I'll do anything to get you back. I'll probably have to torture a few people by strapping electrodes to their genitals. Stop looking at me that way. This really isn't any weirder than that 50 Shades of Grey book you've been reading, is it? No. So look, you've got about five seconds before they come for you. I'm going to act unusually calm right now. Man this coffee is good. OK see you in a few days, hopefully."
 
2012-10-05 01:04:10 AM
You'd think after the first time he'd just make sure his family avoided overseas trips altogether.


this film is PG-13

I was about to say "F*ck that noise" but then I looked up the first one and it was PG-13 too. Wow. So the HERO of the film can torture a guy to death and it still gets a PG-13? I know they edited that scene for the US release, but come ON.
 
2012-10-05 03:36:37 AM
screw Nic "Nicholas Kim Coppola" Cage. screw him right up the a.
 
2012-10-05 03:48:18 AM

fusillade762: You'd think after the first time he'd just make sure his family avoided overseas trips altogether.


this film is PG-13

I was about to say "F*ck that noise" but then I looked up the first one and it was PG-13 too. Wow. So the HERO of the film can torture a guy to death and it still gets a PG-13? I know they edited that scene for the US release, but come ON.


No.... I don't believe you. It was PG-13? *checks*

WOW. This is why movie rating systems in America are just stupid.
 
2012-10-05 03:53:11 AM
I don't care if it sucks, I am still going to see it.
It's like the Expendables. Not supposed to be the next Citizen Kane, it's just a lot of ass kicking fun.
 
2012-10-05 03:55:09 AM
The first film sounded like something for ladies with daddy issues.. (didn't see it) This just sounds bizzare.
 
2012-10-05 03:59:04 AM
I hear it has a particular set of thrills
 
2012-10-05 04:14:01 AM

fusillade762: You'd think after the first time he'd just make sure his family avoided overseas trips altogether.


this film is PG-13

I was about to say "F*ck that noise" but then I looked up the first one and it was PG-13 too. Wow. So the HERO of the film can torture a guy to death and it still gets a PG-13? I know they edited that scene for the US release, but come ON.


It was still one of the most intensely violent movies to get a PG-13 in some time.

I just don't think this movie lends itself to a sequel. By now, Liam Neeson's wife and daugter know better than to let him in on their vacation plans. The guy has a worse track record than Clark Griswold and Amelia Earhart combined.

However, it does lend a good script idea for Taken 3.

SCENE INT. KITCHEN TABLE. DAY. FAMKE JANNSEN AND MAGGIE GRACE ARE LOOKING AT BROCHURES AND MAPS.

Famke: So, after we get out of the museum, we're going to take a taxi to....
Maggie: Shhhhhhhhh, he's coming
Liam: (going to the fridge for a beer) Hey girls, what's going on?
Famke: Oh, uh, nothing. Say, isn't the game about to start?
Liam: (looks at watch) Oh, shiat, you're right. Gotta run. (Goes into living room)

Cut forward to Famke and Maggie going on a relaxing vacation, Liam staying home, drinking beer, watching "24" DVDs and calling Sutherland a pussy, and using his "special set of skills to fix the fence." The girls come back from vacation 5 days later, safe and sound, and everyone's happy.

THE END
 
2012-10-05 04:50:52 AM
This site is a lot like The New York Times website, and both films have words in it. Words on both sites have sentences, which are organized by paragraph. On both sites, the writers think they are clever, and on both sites, there is navigation. I'm just saying, these two films are similar.

Retard Blog.
 
2012-10-05 05:01:10 AM
Not surprising. I liked the first film as much as anyone, but you have to admit, it was pretty stupid. One of those movies that somehow manages to be pretty good despite itself. This sequel was just an automatic response to the box office and the chances of it not being bad were worse than the chances of me scoring with Famke Janssen.
 
2012-10-05 05:23:26 AM

jdcgonzalez: I don't care if it sucks, I am still going to see it.
It's like the Expendables. Not supposed to be the next Citizen Kane, it's just a lot of ass kicking fun.


Hells yeah. Neeson will be "Taken" my money tomorrow.
 
2012-10-05 05:25:13 AM
I saw the first Taken and didn't really care for it, even though I enjoy action movies. My fiancee has been bugging me to go see this with him though.
Maybe I'll remind him of the time he had us watch the new Conan movie. Awful awful film.
 
2012-10-05 06:01:08 AM
There are a mess of people over at AICN biatching about how in the first film, Liam's daughter was pure and innocent and got rescued, but her dumb slut friend got repeatedly raped/chained to a bed and left to die, and blah blah biddy blah ham fisted conservative morality.

It's pretty funny. Same people who whine when they slutty kids get killed in horror movies.

/don't be a whore, maybe?
 
2012-10-05 06:02:43 AM

robohobo: There are a mess of people over at AICN biatching about how in the first film, Liam's daughter was pure and innocent and got rescued, but her dumb slut friend got repeatedly raped/chained to a bed and left to die, and blah blah biddy blah ham fisted conservative morality.

It's pretty funny. Same people who whine when they slutty kids get killed in horror movies.

/don't be a whore, maybe?


*the, not they...
 
2012-10-05 06:08:16 AM

robohobo: robohobo: There are a mess of people over at AICN biatching about how in the first film, Liam's daughter was pure and innocent and got rescued, but her dumb slut friend got repeatedly raped/chained to a bed and left to die, and blah blah biddy blah ham fisted conservative morality.

It's pretty funny. Same people who whine when they slutty kids get killed in horror movies.

/don't be a whore, maybe?

*the, not they...


Wait, I thought the conservative morality crusader types would love when the slutty kids get killed.

Why else were the "Friday the 13th" movies so successful in the Reagan years?
 
2012-10-05 06:21:10 AM

stoli n coke: robohobo: robohobo: There are a mess of people over at AICN biatching about how in the first film, Liam's daughter was pure and innocent and got rescued, but her dumb slut friend got repeatedly raped/chained to a bed and left to die, and blah blah biddy blah ham fisted conservative morality.

It's pretty funny. Same people who whine when they slutty kids get killed in horror movies.

/don't be a whore, maybe?

*the, not they...

Wait, I thought the conservative morality crusader types would love when the slutty kids get killed.

Why else were the "Friday the 13th" movies so successful in the Reagan years?


You see everything through the eyes of a partisan hack, doncha?

/I bet you'll brand me a "Reagan lover" for this comment
//But I'm not. See, that's what's different about me: I don't have to be a "Reagan lover" to know partisan hackery when I see it
///That's because I think in terms of nuance and detail, whereas you think in terms of simplistic labels
 
2012-10-05 06:23:46 AM
Doesn't matter, will watch that man read the phone book.
 
2012-10-05 06:29:56 AM
After watching the first one again, I wondered why he was enduring so much to save a spoiled debutant of a daughter - she only 'likes' him when she gets what she wants otherwise she pouts. The ex is a manipulative, hatefilled gash so I'd take her kidnapping as a gift from above.
 
2012-10-05 06:35:43 AM

B.L.Z. Bub: stoli n coke: robohobo: robohobo: There are a mess of people over at AICN biatching about how in the first film, Liam's daughter was pure and innocent and got rescued, but her dumb slut friend got repeatedly raped/chained to a bed and left to die, and blah blah biddy blah ham fisted conservative morality.

It's pretty funny. Same people who whine when they slutty kids get killed in horror movies.

/don't be a whore, maybe?

*the, not they...

Wait, I thought the conservative morality crusader types would love when the slutty kids get killed.

Why else were the "Friday the 13th" movies so successful in the Reagan years?

You see everything through the eyes of a partisan hack, doncha?

/I bet you'll brand me a "Reagan lover" for this comment
//But I'm not. See, that's what's different about me: I don't have to be a "Reagan lover" to know partisan hackery when I see it
///That's because I think in terms of nuance and detail, whereas you think in terms of simplistic labels


Nope. I just think it's a little too coincidental that the Jason movies were one of the biggest movie franchises going during the moral majority era.

Think about it, the only people Jason killed were the douchebags. The guys that picked on everyone, the guys that cheated on their girlfriends, and the girls that gave it up for anyone. He validated some peoples ideals that slutty and douchebaggy behavior must be punished. It's extremely ironic that those same people were the ones that hated that genre so much.

This is an old thought that film and lit students have written papers on for decades.
I personally don't care what political stripe you're from.
 
2012-10-05 06:42:08 AM
Cage. Never seen a thing get so old so fast. Thankfully this hl is a unique one,and not just a copy of last week's. Wait.
Cage is everywhere, and its 2007, right? Must be, some black guy wants to be President.
 
2012-10-05 06:54:57 AM
I do not like Liam Neeson. There, I said it.

He's bored the shiat out of me in every movie I've ever seen him in, with his monotone delivery and stone-face gaze. Every movie that I've liked that he's been in I've liked in spite of Neeson. I don't get the Liam Neeson worship lately, but I didn't get the Chuck Norris thing either.

/onion
//belt
 
2012-10-05 07:18:08 AM
Eh, he did a great skit with Ricky Gervais so he gets excused for any of these bad movies.

youtube
 
2012-10-05 07:21:34 AM
That's not surprising, the first one was terrible.
 
2012-10-05 07:26:07 AM
I saw a Graham Norton show recently with Liam Neeson and Patrick Stewart on, and it was noted that they were both in Excalibur 30 years ago.. and Liam noticed that Patrick Stewart looked exactly the same as he does now. :P
 
2012-10-05 07:50:29 AM
Taken was a pretty terrible movie. Terrible in a fun, way though. It veered towards comedic levels of absurdity, but without any sense of self-awareness, which made it pretty hilarious. It didn't suffer from what most action movies seem to be infected with- long stretches of boring plot. It moved smoothly from set-piece to set-piece.

But it's been done. Unless they go the Crank route and try and max out the absurdity, it can't possibly hold up.
 
2012-10-05 08:03:54 AM

swahnhennessy: Not surprising. I liked the first film as much as anyone, but you have to admit, it was pretty stupid. One of those movies that somehow manages to be pretty good despite itself. This sequel was just an automatic response to the box office and the chances of it not being bad were worse than the chances of me scoring with Famke Janssen.


The best description I've ever heard of it was - Dad-Porn. It was every fathers fantasy of what we would do to anyone who hurts our little girl. Guys like it for that and girls like it because they would like a dad that would go that far for them.

Sounds like the sequel is much the same. mindless dad action fantasy thats fun if you go with it even if it's kinda stupid if disected or thought about.
 
2012-10-05 08:22:27 AM

Digitalstrange: swahnhennessy: Not surprising. I liked the first film as much as anyone, but you have to admit, it was pretty stupid. One of those movies that somehow manages to be pretty good despite itself. This sequel was just an automatic response to the box office and the chances of it not being bad were worse than the chances of me scoring with Famke Janssen.

The best description I've ever heard of it was - Dad-Porn. It was every fathers fantasy of what we would do to anyone who hurts our little girl. Guys like it for that and girls like it because they would like a dad that would go that far for them.

Sounds like the sequel is much the same. mindless dad action fantasy thats fun if you go with it even if it's kinda stupid if disected or thought about.


A very good point, but there were some really creepy right-wing 'men's' fiction overtones there as well (the constant torture), not to mention the whole sex slave aspect. Is there any reason he has to save his daughter's virginity outside of seeing her solely as a possession? It's not like he gives a shiat about her friend he finds dying of an overdose, either.
 
2012-10-05 08:27:32 AM
Taken wasn't a very good movie either. Doesn't stop people from bleating on about.
 
2012-10-05 08:37:43 AM
The next sequel will be "Taken 3: skinink kidnaps Famke Jannsen".
 
2012-10-05 08:58:06 AM

Guntram Shatterhand: It's not like he gives a shiat about her friend he finds dying of an overdose, either.


"I didn't come here to free slaves. The last slave I freed turned out to be a total prick."

upload.wikimedia.org
 
mhd
2012-10-05 09:00:32 AM
I just want o see a crossover between Shoot Em Up and Taken.

Take Em Up. Neeson is now a grampa, and someone kidnaps Mr. Smith's baby and his granddaughter.

/That someone has to be Jason Statham, of course.
 
2012-10-05 09:06:19 AM

bump: After watching the first one again, I wondered why he was enduring so much to save a spoiled debutant of a daughter - she only 'likes' him when she gets what she wants otherwise she pouts. The ex is a manipulative, hatefilled gash so I'd take her kidnapping as a gift from above.


Lol, I kept thinking through the first film; "Neither of these women are worthy of rescue."
Seems I wasn't the only one.
 
2012-10-05 09:12:47 AM

fusillade762: I was about to say "F*ck that noise" but then I looked up the first one and it was PG-13 too. Wow. So the HERO of the film can torture a guy to death and it still gets a PG-13? I know they edited that scene for the US release, but come ON.


You know what they say. Suck on a tit and it gets an R rating. Cut that tit off instead and you have a PG13.
 
2012-10-05 09:18:25 AM
"...on a Nic Cage scale, it's a 9 out of 10."

That's high praise!
 
2012-10-05 09:41:27 AM

jdcgonzalez: I don't care if it sucks, I am still going to see it.
It's like the Expendables. Not supposed to be the next Citizen Kane, it's just a lot of ass kicking fun.


Is it too much to ask of my ass-kicking fun that it be plausible and make some modicum of sense?
 
2012-10-05 09:42:21 AM
Sweet Jesus, Fark can turn anything into right-wing propaganda.
 
2012-10-05 09:53:10 AM

FLMountainMan: Sweet Jesus, Fark can turn anything into right-wing propaganda.


Yeah seriously. A man doesn't want his daughter to be raped and sold off forever while fighting corruption. What a conservative dick.
 
2012-10-05 09:55:38 AM
I enjoyed Taken, but it really didn't need a sequel.
 
2012-10-05 10:33:25 AM
Critics hate it, but people that watched it liked it (86% on RT), just like the first one. If I listened to critics all the time, I never would have watched a Chris Farley movie.

Also, YOUR BLOG SUCKS.
 
2012-10-05 10:44:53 AM

God-is-a-Taco: Eh, he did a great skit with Ricky Gervais so he gets excused for any of these bad movies.

youtube


Thanks for that. That was awesome. The Johnny Depp clip was pretty funny too.
 
2012-10-05 10:51:27 AM

Guntram Shatterhand: Digitalstrange: swahnhennessy: Not surprising. I liked the first film as much as anyone, but you have to admit, it was pretty stupid. One of those movies that somehow manages to be pretty good despite itself. This sequel was just an automatic response to the box office and the chances of it not being bad were worse than the chances of me scoring with Famke Janssen.

The best description I've ever heard of it was - Dad-Porn. It was every fathers fantasy of what we would do to anyone who hurts our little girl. Guys like it for that and girls like it because they would like a dad that would go that far for them.

Sounds like the sequel is much the same. mindless dad action fantasy thats fun if you go with it even if it's kinda stupid if disected or thought about.

A very good point, but there were some really creepy right-wing 'men's' fiction overtones there as well (the constant torture), not to mention the whole sex slave aspect. Is there any reason he has to save his daughter's virginity outside of seeing her solely as a possession? It's not like he gives a shiat about her friend he finds dying of an overdose, either.


I'm gonna guess you don't have kids.and The ODing chick was just a random captured girl, not his daughters friend. He only noticed her because she had his daughters jacket. He found out from her his daughter was still alive (and she had given the dying girl her jacket to keep her warm). Yeah a more heroic story would've had him more interested in rescuing all the girls but the story they wanted was a more anti-hero type who was focused only on his own child. Notice in his badass speech his "wont bother you" terms included only his daughters release. He was willing to let them keep her friend apparently.

He really isn't a good guy.
 
2012-10-05 11:40:20 AM

Guntram Shatterhand: Digitalstrange: swahnhennessy: Not surprising. I liked the first film as much as anyone, but you have to admit, it was pretty stupid. One of those movies that somehow manages to be pretty good despite itself. This sequel was just an automatic response to the box office and the chances of it not being bad were worse than the chances of me scoring with Famke Janssen.

The best description I've ever heard of it was - Dad-Porn. It was every fathers fantasy of what we would do to anyone who hurts our little girl. Guys like it for that and girls like it because they would like a dad that would go that far for them.

Sounds like the sequel is much the same. mindless dad action fantasy thats fun if you go with it even if it's kinda stupid if disected or thought about.

A very good point, but there were some really creepy right-wing 'men's' fiction overtones there as well (the constant torture), not to mention the whole sex slave aspect. Is there any reason he has to save his daughter's virginity outside of seeing her solely as a possession? It's not like he gives a shiat about her friend he finds dying of an overdose, either.


I don't know where you're getting the virginity angle. He was trying to stop his daughter from being sold into slavery, sexy kind or not. Since ye old timey slavery of first world women is largely non-existent in most countries BUT sex slavery is exceedingly common, it makes sense in the movie to go with the sex slave part. The friend part is a non-starter too. He didn't know her at all. He's also ostensibly a spy who's probably seen death his entire career, so a random person, whom his daughter knows, dying isn't going to shake him to his core. Remember he just got done killing an entire house of Albanians after killing a bunch of them at a construction site. He only saved the one girl because he thought she could tell him where his daughter was sent. I mean Neeson shot the wife of his old friend to get his daughter back, so he's clearly not exactly concerned with any type of purity or halo on his head.
 
2012-10-05 12:10:42 PM

stoli n coke: fusillade762: You'd think after the first time he'd just make sure his family avoided overseas trips altogether.


this film is PG-13

I was about to say "F*ck that noise" but then I looked up the first one and it was PG-13 too. Wow. So the HERO of the film can torture a guy to death and it still gets a PG-13? I know they edited that scene for the US release, but come ON.

It was still one of the most intensely violent movies to get a PG-13 in some time.

I just don't think this movie lends itself to a sequel. By now, Liam Neeson's wife and daugter know better than to let him in on their vacation plans. The guy has a worse track record than Clark Griswold and Amelia Earhart combined.

However, it does lend a good script idea for Taken 3.

SCENE INT. KITCHEN TABLE. DAY. FAMKE JANNSEN AND MAGGIE GRACE ARE LOOKING AT BROCHURES AND MAPS.

Famke: So, after we get out of the museum, we're going to take a taxi to....
Maggie: Shhhhhhhhh, he's coming
Liam: (going to the fridge for a beer) Hey girls, what's going on?
Famke: Oh, uh, nothing. Say, isn't the game about to start?
Liam: (looks at watch) Oh, shiat, you're right. Gotta run. (Goes into living room)

Cut forward to Famke and Maggie going on a relaxing vacation, Liam staying home, drinking beer, watching "24" DVDs and calling Sutherland a pussy, and using his "special set of skills to fix the fence." The girls come back from vacation 5 days later, safe and sound, and everyone's happy.

THE END

 
24.media.tumblr.com 
assets0.ordienetworks.com 

www.searchenginepeople.com
 
2012-10-05 01:07:45 PM

Allansfirebird: "...on a Nic Cage scale, it's a 9 out of 10."

That's high praise!



Came for this. Leaving satisfied.
 
2012-10-05 01:10:31 PM

Digitalstrange: Guntram Shatterhand: Digitalstrange: swahnhennessy: Not surprising. I liked the first film as much as anyone, but you have to admit, it was pretty stupid. One of those movies that somehow manages to be pretty good despite itself. This sequel was just an automatic response to the box office and the chances of it not being bad were worse than the chances of me scoring with Famke Janssen.

The best description I've ever heard of it was - Dad-Porn. It was every fathers fantasy of what we would do to anyone who hurts our little girl. Guys like it for that and girls like it because they would like a dad that would go that far for them.

Sounds like the sequel is much the same. mindless dad action fantasy thats fun if you go with it even if it's kinda stupid if disected or thought about.

A very good point, but there were some really creepy right-wing 'men's' fiction overtones there as well (the constant torture), not to mention the whole sex slave aspect. Is there any reason he has to save his daughter's virginity outside of seeing her solely as a possession? It's not like he gives a shiat about her friend he finds dying of an overdose, either.

I'm gonna guess you don't have kids.and The ODing chick was just a random captured girl, not his daughters friend. He only noticed her because she had his daughters jacket. He found out from her his daughter was still alive (and she had given the dying girl her jacket to keep her warm). Yeah a more heroic story would've had him more interested in rescuing all the girls but the story they wanted was a more anti-hero type who was focused only on his own child. Notice in his badass speech his "wont bother you" terms included only his daughters release. He was willing to let them keep her friend apparently.

He really isn't a good guy.


Go watch that scene again. The OD chick that he found chained to the bed dead was his daughter's friend.
The part that always gets me is the sheer STUPIDITY of both the girls upon arriving in Paris.
 
2012-10-05 01:12:17 PM
Sounds like the same thing we got with The Hangover 2. Same movie, different location, nobody being entertained.
 
2012-10-05 01:14:17 PM

KingKauff: Digitalstrange: Guntram Shatterhand: Digitalstrange: swahnhennessy: Not surprising. I liked the first film as much as anyone, but you have to admit, it was pretty stupid. One of those movies that somehow manages to be pretty good despite itself. This sequel was just an automatic response to the box office and the chances of it not being bad were worse than the chances of me scoring with Famke Janssen.

The best description I've ever heard of it was - Dad-Porn. It was every fathers fantasy of what we would do to anyone who hurts our little girl. Guys like it for that and girls like it because they would like a dad that would go that far for them.

Sounds like the sequel is much the same. mindless dad action fantasy thats fun if you go with it even if it's kinda stupid if disected or thought about.

A very good point, but there were some really creepy right-wing 'men's' fiction overtones there as well (the constant torture), not to mention the whole sex slave aspect. Is there any reason he has to save his daughter's virginity outside of seeing her solely as a possession? It's not like he gives a shiat about her friend he finds dying of an overdose, either.

I'm gonna guess you don't have kids.and The ODing chick was just a random captured girl, not his daughters friend. He only noticed her because she had his daughters jacket. He found out from her his daughter was still alive (and she had given the dying girl her jacket to keep her warm). Yeah a more heroic story would've had him more interested in rescuing all the girls but the story they wanted was a more anti-hero type who was focused only on his own child. Notice in his badass speech his "wont bother you" terms included only his daughters release. He was willing to let them keep her friend apparently.

He really isn't a good guy.

Go watch that scene again. The OD chick that he found chained to the bed dead was his daughter's friend.
The part that always gets me is the sheer STUPIDITY of both the girls upon arri ...


How smart were you when you were 17? Now take that level stupidity and double it because you're now female.
 
2012-10-05 01:58:25 PM
Is it as bad as the first one was?
 
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