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(Epicurious)   This week's Fark food discussion thread: Soups and stews. Share your recipes & photos, ask your questions   (epicurious.com) divider line 20
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1688 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Oct 2012 at 5:00 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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Archived thread
2012-10-04 04:02:12 PM
6 votes:

what_now: Also, can we get some love for the immersion blender? BEST THING EVER!!


I use that motherf*cker every chance I get. Carrots are like "Shiat man! We're carrots whatchu gonna do 'bout it." And Imma like: "fark you you skanky assed root! I is gonna make you my biatch!"

And that's my recipe for carrot soup.
2012-10-04 05:07:57 PM
5 votes:
First, I open the can... then I follow the directions on the label... voila Soup! (okay, SpaghettiO's, but still)
2012-10-04 04:24:49 PM
3 votes:

what_now: I don't know why we need to make up a new word.


Stupid French having their own language. Why can't they just use English like Jesus did?
2012-10-04 04:07:32 PM
3 votes:

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: what_now: Also, can we get some love for the immersion blender? BEST THING EVER!!

I use that motherf*cker every chance I get. Carrots are like "Shiat man! We're carrots whatchu gonna do 'bout it." And Imma like: "fark you you skanky assed root! I is gonna make you my biatch!"

And that's my recipe for carrot soup.


Best. Recipe. Ever.

Does it taste better if you're holding a handgun sideways while you do this?
2012-10-04 08:19:36 PM
2 votes:

Anderson's Pooper: Now known as Decapitated Frenchman Soup.


I loved him, but he was
ahead of his thyme.
2012-10-04 08:13:23 PM
2 votes:
La Bouillabaisse A La Marseillaise is all you need to know.
Once you have had it, you have been to heaven.
Having never tried it, you are doomed to Purgatory.
A salmon tail, boneless, some huge shrimps, some mussels, a few clams, a lobster tail and claw, some scallops, and some real crab meat make this an extraordinary olfactorial orgasm the must have dish of a lifetime.
You may keep you chilies, with their magic stirred in ingredients of unknown origin, and you may set aside your stews of ordinary garden variety vegetables and meats, once you have dined on the succulent fruit du mer in a haute tureen.
Served with the traditional baguette, laden with à l'huile d'olive, and garlic, and a few lemon wedges, you will surrender to this dish as no true Frenchman has ever surrendered.
The white table linen, used as a napkin, will be your flag forever.
And you will understand the meaning of life, if not liberty, you will know only the pursuit of happiness can be found in your next serving.

I'll not post my recipe here. I don't want to cause a riot.
Plus, I had to stalk a saucier for three long years, plying him with drinks until he blacked out, until he gave me his lost secrets. He was, sadly, beheaded, in a freak motorcycle accident just after he relinquished the subtle, yet perfect twilling of spices needed to render this magnificent product and I do bid him again adieu,.
Billy, you shall be missed.
But your recipe lives on.
2012-10-04 05:02:00 PM
2 votes:

DGS: what_now: Also, can we get some love for the immersion blender? BEST THING EVER!!

Yep, love mine. Made potato leek soup with it recently and turned wifey into a fan of the stuff.


Immersion blender is a necessity for most of the soups in the Silver Palate cookbook. I lurve mine. I'd marry it if it was allowed in Texas. Heh. they'd probably allow that before gay marriage. stupid fundies.
2012-10-04 09:23:26 PM
1 votes:
Hey gang,

I've been craving Chicken and Dumplings for a month but am tired of my usual (admittedly delicious) recipe- someone care to share their favorite C 'n D recipe so I can try something new?

Thanks!

P.S. These food threads are the funnest thing to hit Fark since the recession made everyone grumpy. Way to go, subby!
2012-10-04 08:53:48 PM
1 votes:
Man you Hungarians are making me hungry. I may need to do some goulash this weekend.


/LOVE the food threads
2012-10-04 08:50:41 PM
1 votes:

xaks: The cat wandered in and decided to supervise...she is so spoiled rotten it isn't even funny.


You should always use fresh cat when making soup.
2012-10-04 08:42:48 PM
1 votes:
Okay, you crazy Farkers, tonight we're gonna make beef stew!

(Audience Shill: "Like I need your help to throw some sh*t into a slow cooker!")

I said beef stew, not dishwater with soggy sh*t in it!

You're gonna wanna start with a pound and a half of stew meat. This is usually chuck or some other tough meat that comes from the part of the cow that does a lot of work. You cook this sh*t low and slow and it becomes tender. You can typically find it pre-cut into pieces. These pieces are usually too damn big. Trim 'em down to a size that's comfortable to have in your mouth.

(AS: "You know what YOUR MOM-")

-had in her mouth last night? NOT YOU. That would require an electron microscope.

So, toss that sh*t into a skillet and brown up the sides. Beef stew tastes a F*CK of a lot better once you make the Malliard Effect your b*tch.

(AS: "What the f*ck is this My-yar bullsh*t? This is a cooking show, not French class!")

I'll French FRY you if you keep this up. Basically, it's the browning of certain sugars due to heat. It makes things taste good.

So, once the beef cubes are brown on the sides, stick 'em in a greased-up casserole dish, put a lid on it, and throw them in the oven. 2 hours at 350 degrees. If you have the time, 3 hours at 250 might be better. Toss a quarter cup of your favorite liquid steak seasoning on so it braises properly.

(AS: "Mmmm, ketchup!")

Ketchup? You put ketchup on steak? Do I gotta get out the Taser?

Now, about 45 minutes before that beef comes out, you're gonna want to start doing some other sh*t. Cut an onion in half and put it in a bowl of water. If you neglect this step, the onion will say hurtful things to you and you will cry like a little girl. Waterboarding the onion makes all their nasty sh*t go into the water. While your onion is making its peace with the Onion God, chop up some red potatoes. They hold up to boiling better. White ones just disintegrate, they're better for mashing or baking. A double handful should be enough, just scoop that many out of the bag. You'll also want two stalks of celery and a couple of carrots. Chop dem b*tches up. The onion should be ready for chopping now, so hack it to pieces. All of this goes into the stew pot, with a few bay leaves, a dash of ground allspice, a dash of thyme, and a dash of ground sage. A bit of fresh coarse ground pepper works fine, here.

On a side note, if you store your spuds and onions in the same place, the spuds will release moisture that will f*ck your onions up. Don't be a dumbsh*t. Separate cupboards.

(AS: "Don't you tell me what to do!")

This is a cooking show, b*tch. The entire POINT is to tell you what to do.

Haul the beef out of the oven and pour all drippings into the stew pot. Add three or four cups of beef broth (if ya don't got it, water with bouillon works) to cover, and boil for fifteen minutes, stirring occasionally (reserve half a cup of broth). Put a couple tablespoons of flour or corn starch in a bowl and add some of the reserved COOL broth (if broth is not cool, lumps will form). Whisk with a fork to make a slurry. Add some more broth (temperature not important at this point) to make it more liquid. Stir into the stew. This'll help thicken it up. You don't want a sh*tload of watery broth. This is stew, not soup.

Once the primary boiling phase is done and the broth has thickened a bit, you remove it from heat (if you have a superior gas stove, just kill the burner. If you have electric, you have clearly made a serious error in home appliances). Add the meat and remove the bay leaves. You don't eat bay leaves, idiot. You toss 'em in for flavor and them you get rid of them. Let it cool for 10 minutes unless you WANT to burn your f*cking tongue off.

Serve with fresh bread to mop up the broth.
2012-10-04 08:34:54 PM
1 votes:
lol- ooo yeah, add a eye of round roast (2 1/2) pound
2012-10-04 08:16:05 PM
1 votes:

vudukungfu: Billy, you shall be missed.
But your recipe lives on.


Now known as Decapitated Frenchman Soup.
2012-10-04 07:57:43 PM
1 votes:
This is my tomato sausage soup, after about two years of making it monthly and tweaking it as I went along. This is the recipe that's actually printed out on paper and next to the stove in the 'go-to' pile now.


Ingredients:
* 1 pound hot Italian sausage
* 1 pound medium Italian sausage
(note - if you don't like spicy heat, use all medium or garlic sausage)
* 1 sweet onion, chopped
* 2 (14 ounce) cans petite cut or diced tomatoes (do NOT drain!)
* 6 cups (or 2x26oz) stock - I use beef and chicken, home-made is best, but store bought is OK
* 2 tablespoons basil (or italian spice mix, if you have that)
* 2 cups pasta - I use egg noodles, but you can also use spirals, penne, whatever
* about 5 whole garlic cloves, minced
* 1 cup chopped celery
* 1 cup chopped carrots
* 1 cup chopped mushrooms (fresh is best)
* 1 1/2 - 2 cups shredded cabbage
* black pepper to taste

As usual, I prep all my ingredients before starting to cook. I like having everything laid out so I don't wind up missing something. The cat wandered in and decided to supervise...she is so spoiled rotten it isn't even funny.

i624.photobucket.com

Here it is, all portioned out. I like using paper plates (disposable/recyclable/compostable) to hold things.

i624.photobucket.com

Directions:

1. In a soup pot, cook sausage over medium heat until no pink remains. Stir often, using medium high heat. Only put a wee bit of olive oil in the pan for the start...fat will cook off quickly and prevent further sticking.

i624.photobucket.com

2. Add onions, mushrooms, celery, and carrots. Cook uncovered until onions and celery are soft. I cook a minute, stir the whole mess, cook another minute, stir vigorously, cook another minute, stir, etc. Takes 8-10 minutes for it to all cook down.

i624.photobucket.com

3. Add tomatoes (including juice), stock, cabbage, garlic, and basil. Bring to a boil. Lower heat and simmer for about 50ish minutes, stirring every 10. Yes, this will look vaguely like one of satan's bowel movements. Trust me, your patience will be rewarded.

i624.photobucket.com

4. Stir in pasta and cover. Simmer for 10 minutes, or until pasta is tender to your liking.

i624.photobucket.com

Season with salt & pepper to taste. Serve.

i624.photobucket.com 

If its just me, I use andoulle or spicy italian sausage. If the wife and yout are eating, I use medium or sweet sausage (they don't like the heat).

Enjoy!
2012-10-04 06:13:04 PM
1 votes:
Short and simple

1 can Tomato soup.
Leftover Taco meat - the hotter the better.
Elbow macaroni

Boil until macaroni is done. Sprinkle on a little taco cheese if you want to be fancy.
2012-10-04 05:18:58 PM
1 votes:

ahab: CoRrUpTeDbUdGiE: I bought a butternut squash from the supermarket today and need an idea or three... I'm vegan and I don't touch alcohol. I am currently (due to health reasons) on a very low-fat diet.
I don't particularly do fruit either - I think veg is definitely more important ;-)
At the moment, I have 2 onions, a small bag of carrots, miso soup paste, udon noodles, two tins of plum tomatoes and a fairly decent stash of herbs and spices. I have rice milk aswell. (for ideas...)
However, I don't want soup all the time. I was wondering how to cook butternut squash too. I have eaten it in the past but this is the first time I've bought a squash.

I have an entire section in my food blog for butternut squash recipes. Link


Thats your blog?! Muthafarka just got favorited....
2012-10-04 05:15:50 PM
1 votes:

CoRrUpTeDbUdGiE: I bought a butternut squash from the supermarket today and need an idea or three... I'm vegan and I don't touch alcohol. I am currently (due to health reasons) on a very low-fat diet.
I don't particularly do fruit either - I think veg is definitely more important ;-)
At the moment, I have 2 onions, a small bag of carrots, miso soup paste, udon noodles, two tins of plum tomatoes and a fairly decent stash of herbs and spices. I have rice milk aswell. (for ideas...)
However, I don't want soup all the time. I was wondering how to cook butternut squash too. I have eaten it in the past but this is the first time I've bought a squash.


cut squash in half lengthwise.

Slather in whatever vegans use for butter Iand I mean lots of it fill the hole wher you scooped the seeds out with it.

Cover in fil

Bake in oven for about an hour (depending on the size of the squash.

Scoop meat of the squash out of the gourd shell and stuff it in your face.
2012-10-04 04:15:34 PM
1 votes:

Ras-Algethi: If you ever watched Good Eats you'd understand the importance of mirepoix.


I understand the importance of adding carrots, onions and celery to a good soup. I don't know why we need to make up a new word. Stupid language.
2012-10-04 04:12:55 PM
1 votes:
Came for Carl Weathers - leaving disappointed.

/baby you got a stew going!
2012-10-04 04:04:21 PM
1 votes:

Shostie: what_now: half shake of Aarontology

I can't get white Aarontology down here. Will Mexican Aarontology work?


Just as long as it isn't Mexican The English Major.
 
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