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(Press TV)   TSA admits imposing "attitude fines" - or as normal people call it, "stealing"   (presstv.com) divider line 42
    More: Asinine, TSA, TSA agents  
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27905 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Oct 2012 at 3:27 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-10-04 03:31:08 PM
9 votes:
C'mon, now...these guys are keeping us all safe. Why, just two weekends ago one of them read my son the riot act for having a balled up foil gum wrapper in the pocket of his shorts that set off the detector. My little boy, being thoroughly intimidated by the shorter "man" in the uniform, looked down at him and simply said, "Seriously"?

I've never been more proud.
2012-10-04 03:20:37 PM
8 votes:

Diogenes: unlikely: Having been caught at it like eight times now, they finally admit it.

At least they keep the skies safe. Just look at all the terrorists they've stopped.

unlikely, I want to buy your rock.


It's not for sale. It doesn't JUST protect me from Mustafalupagus (the terrorist that only TSA can see). It also protects me from werewolves and vampires.
2012-10-04 03:49:48 PM
6 votes:

Pud: Who would ever have thought that taking people from the lowest rung in the ladder of life, giving them complete power over other people while removing any accountability would have lead to something like this?


But enough about Congress.
2012-10-04 03:56:21 PM
4 votes:

LarryDan43: Pud: Who would ever have thought that taking people from the lowest rung in the ladder of life, giving them complete power over other people while removing any accountability would have lead to something like this?

But enough about Congress.


Congress is for people who can't pass the TSA written exam.
2012-10-04 02:05:05 PM
4 votes:
The real question is, does this shiat stop once some dipshiat TSA agent gets an "attitude shiv" or does it just get worse?
2012-10-04 05:07:26 PM
3 votes:

adeist69: Don't worry TSA agents, when the Zombie Apocalypse™ comes and you're bitten I'll be blowing your heads off for potentially becoming a zombie, not in retaliation.

*snert*


*BLAM!*

"How did you know that TSA agent was a zombie?"

adeist69: "He was a zombie?"
2012-10-04 04:05:10 PM
3 votes:

MythDragon: Are we still talking about TSA, or have we moved on to what happens if you give a PFC a badge and a gun?

[various stories about how MythDragon told Johnny Law what was what]


What you're attempting to do here is simultaneously threadjack, tell a story about how cops are dicks, and let on as to how you were Mr. Cool Ice the whole way through and not in any way still fuming about it however many years after the fact.

That's an incredibly high degree of difficulty. They won't even let you try it in tournaments, just exhibition events. No offense, guy, but you're not there yet.
2012-10-04 03:47:49 PM
3 votes:

Pud: Who would ever have thought that taking people from the lowest rung in the ladder of life, giving them complete power over other people while removing any accountability would have lead to something like this?


Well there was the Stanford Prison Experiment which might have been used as a model for the TSA.
2012-10-04 03:31:36 PM
3 votes:
Problem is that TSA workers have a really stressful job, and everyone hates them. Here's a few tips to make their working experience, and your traveling experience, much more enjoyable.
2012-10-04 03:10:07 PM
3 votes:

unlikely: Having been caught at it like eight times now, they finally admit it.

At least they keep the skies safe. Just look at all the terrorists they've stopped.


unlikely, I want to buy your rock.
Pud [TotalFark]
2012-10-04 02:02:25 PM
3 votes:
Who would ever have thought that taking people from the lowest rung in the ladder of life, giving them complete power over other people while removing any accountability would have lead to something like this?
2012-10-04 07:23:26 PM
2 votes:

JohnCarter: But but but ....they have blue shirts....WITH real epaulets...and a shiny gold badge. We MUST show them respect.

Did I mention they have epaulets? If that doesn't scream authority and competence, then nothing does


Probably got it from standing near the scanners all day. A sad sight: epilepsy + Tourette's == epaulets.

// I heard they shrink up a lot if you use Preparation H on them for a few days

/// Ya got epaulets? Naw, but my dad does. Can't even sit on the toilet some days.
2012-10-04 05:05:26 PM
2 votes:

MythDragon: Pud: Who would ever have thought that taking people from the lowest rung in the ladder of life, giving them complete power over other people while removing any accountability would have lead to something like this?

[www.usag.livorno.army.mil image 600x420]

Are we still talking about TSA, or have we moved on to what happens if you give a PFC a badge and a gun?

MP: SGT, are you aware you were speeding?
Me: Really? I was doing 2 miles over the speed limit. In a 45 mph zone. So?
MP: Please step out of the car.

CSB 2:
Eglin AFB. I was driving from Niceville to Fort Walton. Decided to cut across the base instead of going around. (National Guard at the time). I was probably doing 43 in a 35 zone in the city. I came up on a military owned van full of MPs. They started following me. I figured they were probably in a hurry too. Slowed down to speed limit as I approached the base property. The second my wheels passed the guard gate, the light come on.
MP: You know you where speeding?
Me: Yeah, I know.
MP: You where doing 5 over
Me: Actualy it was 8. So what?
MP: You know how I know you were speeding? (smugly) I followed you and paced your car
Me: Yes. I know. I saw you. Again, so what?
MP: You're not allowed to speed in the city.
Me: I know. Are you gonna get to the point any time soon?
MP: We have joint jurisdiction with the city. We can pull over any military, anywhere.
Me: Oh, I'm sure.
MP: You know how I knew you were military? (smugly) You had an out of state license plate, short hair, and you drove on the base
Me: That is truely some outstanding reasoning skills you've got there. They're going to promote you to detective soon, right?
MP: You might have this fast little Mustang, but it won't be going anywhere when you lose your base driving privileges.
Me: Over 1 traffic violation out in the city? Seems harsh, but whatever. You gonna give me an 'off base ticket' or whatever so I go about my way?
MP: I tell you what. I'm gonna let you go. Normaly I would give you a tic ...


It's weird. I don't know you from Adam and to the best of my knowledge I've never met you or otherwise come in to contact with you but if I were asked I'd have to say you seem like a douche bag.
2012-10-04 04:58:37 PM
2 votes:

OnlyM3: cant wait till my doctor is run by the same terrorists that run TSA


At least the TSA just makes you walk through a detector.

Not only did my doctor make me take off my pants, he also suck his finger up my butt to check my prostate.

Now why my eye doctor did all this, wasn't exactly clear.
2012-10-04 03:53:51 PM
2 votes:
Sesame Street: Made possible by a grant from the Ford Foundation.

TSA: Made possible by a small government GOP President.
2012-10-04 03:30:13 PM
2 votes:
He put the money in his supervisor's underwear?
2012-10-04 01:34:49 PM
2 votes:
TSA: Robbing travelers of their dignity and valuables since 2002
2012-10-04 10:27:25 PM
1 votes:
i172.photobucket.com
2012-10-04 07:52:58 PM
1 votes:

Tax Boy: OnlyM3: cant wait till my doctor is run by the same terrorists that run TSA

At least the TSA just makes you walk through a detector.

Not only did my doctor make me take off my pants, he also suck his finger up my butt to check my prostate.

Now why my eye doctor did all this, wasn't exactly clear.


My doctor made me get undressed, stand in front of the window, put my thumb on my nose and go na, na, na, na, na
I said Doc, why you making me do this. He said he's pissed off at his neighbor.
2012-10-04 04:52:12 PM
1 votes:

vudukungfu: No. You let it happen.
You don't deal with it at all.
You just let them take your first and fourth amendment rights because you cannot stand up and say no.
My family is all over the planet.
They know why I don't fly.
It's a matter of principle.
Pussys don't have principles.


Show us on the doll where the bad man touched you...
2012-10-04 04:40:52 PM
1 votes:

special20: offacue: That's the second time today I read drawer spelled as draw. Is this a thing?

It's a Jersey New England thing.


Having lived in Jersey half my life, you're wrong.

// knew a girl who thought a rolling storage unit was actually called a "draw", and that "drawer" was a synonym for "artist"
// not nearly hot enough to fantasize about, so I hope she's got a great sense of humor, and can hold her breath for a while...
2012-10-04 04:36:34 PM
1 votes:
1.bp.blogspot.com

"I told them Republicans are for SMALL government... heh heh heh..."
2012-10-04 04:34:35 PM
1 votes:
I see vudukungfu is off his meds again.
2012-10-04 04:31:32 PM
1 votes:

ExtremeHobo: I was stopped the first time I tried to take a roll of Vegas money though in my pocket.


Of course you were. Picking pockets takes talent and hard work. How's a TSA employee supposed to steal something if you keep it in your pocket?
2012-10-04 04:27:05 PM
1 votes:
eat beans berfore flight opt out of cancer machine.

poke away motherfarkers

//
2012-10-04 04:20:46 PM
1 votes:
Permit me to reiterate.
If you fly, you are not a loyal American.
You are a pussy.
Not all of us fly.
NOT all of Americans are pussies.
2012-10-04 04:17:22 PM
1 votes:

CygnusDarius:
For a moment, I read PFC but my brain interpreted it as PMC.


That too.

semiotix: That's an incredibly high degree of difficulty. They won't even let you try it in tournaments, just exhibition events. No offense, guy, but you're not there yet.


It's better to try and fail than to never try and wonder what could have been.
2012-10-04 04:10:55 PM
1 votes:
For lots of stupid reasons - I once ended up flying with 9k in cash stuffed in my bag.

I kid you not - but a TSA agent (after the security checkpoint, at the boarding gate) said he was going to be doing random searches as we boarded the plane. Some of us were asked to step aside and let them check our carry-on bags (again).

I'm also not joking when I say I got pulled aside. I was totally expecting to be detained and questioned or something; but oddly enough, the money tucked in my bag, rolled up in a pair of jeans, went undetected.

It took my about an hour after boarding the plane to go 'OH CRAP! DID THEY TAKE MY MONEY!?!??!'
But they hadn't!
2012-10-04 04:08:52 PM
1 votes:
It looks like working for the TSA is the dream job of rent-a-cops and police academy failures everywhere.. You get to wear a badge
You get to exert your authority, as much as you like
You get to frisk anyone your little heart desires
you get to intimidate kids and old people
You get to steal whatever you want, whenever you want, and unless you're caught red handed, Ol' Janet will cover your ass 100%..

//come to think of it, joining the TSA part time might be a great hobby job after retirement..
2012-10-04 04:02:00 PM
1 votes:

vento: zarberg: Carousel Beast: Spanky_McFarksalot: Thankss Obama for your HUGE government expansion that is the TSA...this would never happen if small governement boot strappy republicans were in charge!

/what? If Rmoney can lie so can I

Yep. It's absolutely Bush's fault that 4 years later nothing has been done about the TSA.

So you're saying the Republican house would have welcomed an Obama administration proposal to abolish the TSA with open arms?

The Republicans voted against Obamacare and it still got passed. Have a point?


Awwww, it's so cute that some people who post on the Internet don't know the definition of the word "majority"

But you go back to being angry and confused Internet man, I suppose it's more endearing than anything else you can come up with.
2012-10-04 03:55:39 PM
1 votes:

Spanky_McFarksalot: Thankss Obama for your HUGE government expansion that is the TSA...this would never happen if small governement boot strappy republicans were in charge!

/what? If Rmoney can lie so can I


Yep. It's absolutely Bush's fault that 4 years later nothing has been done about the TSA.
2012-10-04 03:54:10 PM
1 votes:

TacoBeelzebub:
/It would be easier to blow up people in the security line now than to try to blow them up on the plane


Oh great. Now we're going to have to have a line before the line.

And truthfully, I couldn't agree with you more. Terrorists have moved on from planes. They'll hit a mall or some sporting event where there are large groups of people hanging around. TSA is worthless.
2012-10-04 03:52:45 PM
1 votes:

Pud: Who would ever have thought that taking people from the lowest rung in the ladder of life, giving them complete power over other people while removing any accountability would have lead to something like this?


www.usag.livorno.army.mil

Are we still talking about TSA, or have we moved on to what happens if you give a PFC a badge and a gun?

MP: SGT, are you aware you were speeding?
Me: Really? I was doing 2 miles over the speed limit. In a 45 mph zone. So?
MP: Please step out of the car.

CSB 2:
Eglin AFB. I was driving from Niceville to Fort Walton. Decided to cut across the base instead of going around. (National Guard at the time). I was probably doing 43 in a 35 zone in the city. I came up on a military owned van full of MPs. They started following me. I figured they were probably in a hurry too. Slowed down to speed limit as I approached the base property. The second my wheels passed the guard gate, the light come on.
MP: You know you where speeding?
Me: Yeah, I know.
MP: You where doing 5 over
Me: Actualy it was 8. So what?
MP: You know how I know you were speeding? (smugly) I followed you and paced your car
Me: Yes. I know. I saw you. Again, so what?
MP: You're not allowed to speed in the city.
Me: I know. Are you gonna get to the point any time soon?
MP: We have joint jurisdiction with the city. We can pull over any military, anywhere.
Me: Oh, I'm sure.
MP: You know how I knew you were military? (smugly) You had an out of state license plate, short hair, and you drove on the base
Me: That is truely some outstanding reasoning skills you've got there. They're going to promote you to detective soon, right?
MP: You might have this fast little Mustang, but it won't be going anywhere when you lose your base driving privileges.
Me: Over 1 traffic violation out in the city? Seems harsh, but whatever. You gonna give me an 'off base ticket' or whatever so I go about my way?
MP: I tell you what. I'm gonna let you go. Normaly I would give you a ticket, but we're all real tired, and just want to get off shift. But you better not let me catch you speeding again, or you're not driving on base anymore.
Me: Sure thing, Sparky. I'll be real careful.
MP to van full of MPs (which I can only imagine he said since I finaly got to leave): Hey guys! I really had that sergeant scared! I bet he'll be scared to ever go over the speed limit again!
2012-10-04 03:52:24 PM
1 votes:

metallion: I'm sort of glad that my wife hates the thought of flying, so at least for now, I'm not going to have to deal with any of those lying theiving pricks.......yet....

Never know when they'll be at rest areas, and stops along the interstate..


I bet there are quite a few at the rest areas when off duty... you know, what with all that wide-stance foot tapping thing they do...
2012-10-04 03:51:53 PM
1 votes:
After first denying to police that he had stolen the money, Irwin later admitted he had put the cash in his locker as a form of punishment in retaliation for the man complaining over his treatment. Prison Planet

FACTS & FIGURES

Last month, a TSA screener admitted to a woman traveling through Houston Airport that she was prevented from boarding her flight for retaliatory reasons as punishment for a bad attitude rather than any genuine security threat, after the woman refused to allow TSA agents to test her drink for explosives.
Prison Planet

The TSA, in October 2010, directed the use of the scanners, sometimes known as advanced imaging technology, which some critics fear could emit too much radiation. Reuters

In addition, the TSA authorized enhanced pat-downs, which could include the touching of genitals, buttocks and breasts, for passengers unwilling to go through the scanners. Passengers who rejected both procedures would not be allowed to fly. Reuters

Critics maintain the scanners, which use radiation to peer through clothes, are threats to Americans' privacy and health. wired.com

The effectiveness of pat-downs does not matter very much, because the obvious goal of the TSA is to make the pat-down embarrassing enough for the average passenger that the vast majority of people will choose high-tech humiliation. The Atlantic 

What kind of joke-ass SEO, link-bait, and/or content aggregator spam malarkey is going on here?
2012-10-04 03:50:08 PM
1 votes:

zarberg: I have a relative who worked for the TSA a while ago, claims that this kinda thing happened a lot more often than you'd think. I think his anecdote went something like, "I knew a dude who would quickly pull bills out of wallets unattended for even a few seconds in those little trays, and then quietly brag about how many $20's he got at the end of his shift."

/CSB


For this reason, I'll toss my wallet in my laptop bag, or my shoes (behind my handkerchief and anything else I can wad in there).

You want to steal stuff from my wallet... work for it you lazy bum!
2012-10-04 03:45:51 PM
1 votes:

what_now: Last Sunday I was flying through SFO, and there was a medium sized security line, about 20 minutes in total, and a guy opted out. The TSA brat sighed and snapped out "Male assist" and the man went to the side. The next guy said "so..if you opt out, you just get an extra pat down?" and she responded "Yeah, but you might have to wait a really long time." with a disgusted look on her face.

Bemused, because I never, ever go through the naked cancer machine, I waited till it was my turn and opted out, and she sighed and made a big deal of calling out "Female assist" and gave me a dirty look.

I asked her if she knew how dangerous the machines were, and she started to respond and I cut her off and said "No one does".

The lady who gave me my free molestation was perfectly pleasant and professional, as always. They put the real idiots at the front.


I always opt out of the free cancer dosage too, for the EXACT same reason you mentioned. There are stories about how TSA drones bypass safety features on the baggage x-ray machines because they aren't properly maintained. I can't imagine they take care of the (not approved by the FDA) RAPEiscan machines.

Lucked out traveling from DFW to ORD though, since I had to help my little kids through the metal detector. No RAPEiscan screening and no Freedom Fondle(TM) either.
2012-10-04 03:43:18 PM
1 votes:
Thankss Obama for your HUGE government expansion that is the TSA...this would never happen if small governement boot strappy republicans were in charge!

/what? If Rmoney can lie so can I
2012-10-04 03:32:09 PM
1 votes:
2012-10-04 01:45:00 PM
1 votes:
I like the bill that wants to take away their badges because they are not law enforcement officers.
2012-10-04 01:42:56 PM
1 votes:
Having been caught at it like eight times now, they finally admit it.

At least they keep the skies safe. Just look at all the terrorists they've stopped.
2012-10-04 01:41:06 PM
1 votes:
Is there anyone without a direct financial stake in the TSA who thinks these fu*king brownshirt sh*tweasels are worth a good god damn?

Fu*k them all, the cocksuckers.
 
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