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(The Onion)   Biden implored Obama to "rub one out" before the debate, didn't want Obama to have "pu**y on the mind out there"   (theonion.com) divider line 65
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3196 clicks; posted to Politics » on 04 Oct 2012 at 2:48 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-10-04 11:09:10 AM  
You choke the chicken before any big date, don't you? Tell me you spank the monkey before any big date. Oh my God, he doesn't flog the dolphin before a big date. Are you crazy? That's like going out there with a loaded gun! Of course that's why you're nervous. Oh my dear friend, please sit, please. Look, um, after you've had sex with a girl, and you're lying in bed with her, are you nervous? No, you're not, why?
 
2012-10-04 11:20:08 AM  
I don't care that it's reusing a "Something about Mary" joke, that was damn funny, especially when he recommended Jill Biden as 'material'
 
2012-10-04 11:22:23 AM  
I don't know. I was thinking "pussy" every time I looked at Jim Lehrer.
 
2012-10-04 11:33:44 AM  
Well, Mitt Romney certainly chocked the Big Bird.
 
2012-10-04 12:28:37 PM  
The Onion's version of Joe Biden may be their best running gag ever.
 
2012-10-04 12:54:03 PM  

Rev. Skarekroe: The Onion's version of Joe Biden may be their best running gag ever.


No maybe about it. I want them re-elected just so I can look forward to another 4 years of Biden and his chick magnet Camaro.
 
2012-10-04 12:57:09 PM  

gilgigamesh: Rev. Skarekroe: The Onion's version of Joe Biden may be their best running gag ever.

No maybe about it. I want them re-elected just so I can look forward to another 4 years of Biden and his chick magnet Camaro.


And Joe goes along with it, which makes it even better I think.
 
2012-10-04 01:05:30 PM  

gilgigamesh: Rev. Skarekroe: The Onion's version of Joe Biden may be their best running gag ever.

No maybe about it. I want them re-elected just so I can look forward to another 4 years of Biden and his chick magnet Camaro.


It's a Trans Am, dude.
 
2012-10-04 01:17:39 PM  

gilgigamesh: Rev. Skarekroe: The Onion's version of Joe Biden may be their best running gag ever.

No maybe about it. I want them re-elected just so I can look forward to another 4 years of Biden and his chick magnet Camaro.


The best part is that I bet the real Biden loves it as much as anyone. He just has this "I don't give a fark" attitude that's rare in a politician.
 
2012-10-04 01:21:43 PM  
Heh.
 
2012-10-04 01:40:41 PM  
Any bets on how long before this shows up on Literally Unbelievable?
 
2012-10-04 01:41:35 PM  

Coco LaFemme: gilgigamesh: Rev. Skarekroe: The Onion's version of Joe Biden may be their best running gag ever.

No maybe about it. I want them re-elected just so I can look forward to another 4 years of Biden and his chick magnet Camaro.

It's a Trans Am, dude.


His parents drove it up from the Bahamas. It can't be a Trans Am.
 
2012-10-04 02:01:11 PM  
The judgment of last night's debate
Mitt served Barack's ass on a plate
Anniversary pussy
Made Barry a wussy
Next time take Joe's advice- masturbate


/with a nod to MaxxLarge
 
2012-10-04 02:16:16 PM  

AdolfOliverPanties: The judgment of last night's debate
Mitt served Barack's ass on a plate
Anniversary pussy
Made Barry a wussy
Next time take Joe's advice- masturbate


/with a nod to MaxxLarge


+1
 
2012-10-04 02:55:10 PM  

unlikely: Coco LaFemme: gilgigamesh: Rev. Skarekroe: The Onion's version of Joe Biden may be their best running gag ever.

No maybe about it. I want them re-elected just so I can look forward to another 4 years of Biden and his chick magnet Camaro.

It's a Trans Am, dude.

His parents drove it up from the Bahamas. It can't be a Trans Am.


Must be a Ferarri then.

pics.imcdb.org
 
2012-10-04 02:55:46 PM  

Rev. Skarekroe: The Onion's version of Joe Biden may be their best running gag ever.


It's great... Reminds me of:

homepages.theonion.com
 
2012-10-04 02:56:43 PM  
He didn't listen
 
2012-10-04 02:56:50 PM  
Save it for Romney's ass next time
 
2012-10-04 02:57:58 PM  

Coco LaFemme: gilgigamesh: Rev. Skarekroe: The Onion's version of Joe Biden may be their best running gag ever.

No maybe about it. I want them re-elected just so I can look forward to another 4 years of Biden and his chick magnet Camaro.

It's a Trans Am, dude.


Isn't a Trans Am just a Camaro with a different badge on the hood? IIRC, GM made one in the late 80s with the Oldsmobile insignia for a few tears.
 
2012-10-04 02:59:14 PM  

King Something: Coco LaFemme: gilgigamesh: Rev. Skarekroe: The Onion's version of Joe Biden may be their best running gag ever.

No maybe about it. I want them re-elected just so I can look forward to another 4 years of Biden and his chick magnet Camaro.

It's a Trans Am, dude.

Isn't a Trans Am just a Camaro with a different badge on the hood? IIRC, GM made one in the late 80s with the Oldsmobile insignia for a few tears Years.


Tears, years, whatever. Lick my butt.
 
2012-10-04 03:03:46 PM  

King Something: King Something: Coco LaFemme: gilgigamesh: Rev. Skarekroe: The Onion's version of Joe Biden may be their best running gag ever.

No maybe about it. I want them re-elected just so I can look forward to another 4 years of Biden and his chick magnet Camaro.

It's a Trans Am, dude.

Isn't a Trans Am just a Camaro with a different badge on the hood? IIRC, GM made one in the late 80s with the Oldsmobile insignia for a few tears Years.

Tears, years, whatever. Lick my butt.


Actually, given how some people would react to that knowledge, that was a very appropriate typo.
 
2012-10-04 03:07:08 PM  

Mentat: Well, Mitt Romney certainly chocked the Big Bird.


Perhaps, but every bit of right media is trumpeting Mitt's GREAT VICTORY in the debate even on down to that friggin Terry of Lex and Terry's radio show. I expect John Boy of John Boy and Billy was similarily full of shiat.
You X-ers and Y-gens and whatever better get out and vote or you will have the new right wing Mormon master in charge and if you aren't obedient, you'll get the Dixie Chicks treatment. Friggin Boomers in my state have sold out whole hog for Romney.
/ashamed of my generation.
//car radio sucked this morning.
 
2012-10-04 03:07:19 PM  
All Obama has to do to get rid of a hard on is think about his wife.
 
2012-10-04 03:10:55 PM  

Great Odins Raven: All Obama has to do to get rid of a hard on is think about his wife.


this post will not be trolled. i promise.
 
2012-10-04 03:12:43 PM  

unlikely: His parents drove it up from the Bahamas.


You're kidding!

/You must be, the Bahamas are islands.
 
2012-10-04 03:12:54 PM  

cman: You choke the chicken before any big date, don't you? Tell me you spank the monkey before any big date. Oh my God, he doesn't flog the dolphin before a big date. Are you crazy? That's like going out there with a loaded gun! Of course that's why you're nervous. Oh my dear friend, please sit, please. Look, um, after you've had sex with a girl, and you're lying in bed with her, are you nervous? No, you're not, why?


I'm a little nervous that her boyfriend or husband might come home unexpectedly and kill me, yes.
 
2012-10-04 03:12:56 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2012-10-04 03:14:55 PM  
I can't decide what Biden's greatest accomplishment as VP has been: Trans-Am washing, ponytail at the inauguration, lifetime ban from Dave and Busters, cooling his heels in Mexico, earning his purple belt, private mountain chateau tax code discussion with the nation's ladies, hitchhiking to the '12 DNC, replacing his secret service detail with 3 sexy ladies. This guy has done it all with class and grace.
 
2012-10-04 03:16:43 PM  

keylock71: Rev. Skarekroe: The Onion's version of Joe Biden may be their best running gag ever.

It's great... Reminds me of:

[homepages.theonion.com image 110x145]


Yeah, but Joe Biden is the guy Jim Anchower wishes he was.
They should do a crossover one of these days.
 
2012-10-04 03:17:39 PM  

biyaaatci: I can't decide what Biden's greatest accomplishment as VP has been: Trans-Am washing, ponytail at the inauguration, lifetime ban from Dave and Busters, cooling his heels in Mexico, earning his purple belt, private mountain chateau tax code discussion with the nation's ladies, hitchhiking to the '12 DNC, replacing his secret service detail with 3 sexy ladies. This guy has done it all with class and grace.


LMAO
 
2012-10-04 03:23:26 PM  
Just got an Onion link to my phone:

Sasha Obama asks father why he was acting like such a pussy during debate
 
2012-10-04 03:24:45 PM  

unlikely: Coco LaFemme: gilgigamesh: Rev. Skarekroe: The Onion's version of Joe Biden may be their best running gag ever.

No maybe about it. I want them re-elected just so I can look forward to another 4 years of Biden and his chick magnet Camaro.

It's a Trans Am, dude.

His parents drove it up from the Bahamas. It can't be a Trans Am.


Biden didn't go to the Sandbar either
 
2012-10-04 03:25:45 PM  

biyaaatci: I can't decide what Biden's greatest accomplishment as VP has been: Trans-Am washing, ponytail at the inauguration, lifetime ban from Dave and Busters, cooling his heels in Mexico, earning his purple belt, private mountain chateau tax code discussion with the nation's ladies, hitchhiking to the '12 DNC, replacing his secret service detail with 3 sexy ladies. This guy has done it all with class and grace.


My vote is hitting on a biker mama, while her old man watches.
static3.businessinsider.com
 
2012-10-04 03:25:48 PM  

keylock71: Rev. Skarekroe: The Onion's version of Joe Biden may be their best running gag ever.

It's great... Reminds me of:

[homepages.theonion.com image 110x145]


I wish they'd do more Jim Anchower. He was always my favorite of their "why are you writing this?" newspaper columnists.
 
2012-10-04 03:27:27 PM  
Next debate is going to be awesome....

P90X VS. 1981 Pontiac Trans Am
 
2012-10-04 03:27:54 PM  
subby I didn't know you couldn't write the word "pussy" in a FARK headline.

Let's try another: Dick
Got any of those filtered or something?
 
2012-10-04 03:32:16 PM  

Jairzinho: subby I didn't know you couldn't write the word "pussy" in a FARK headline.

Let's try another: Dick
Got any of those filtered or something?


don't get cocky. You don't want to look like a coont.
 
2012-10-04 03:32:35 PM  

Rev. Skarekroe: keylock71: Rev. Skarekroe: The Onion's version of Joe Biden may be their best running gag ever.

It's great... Reminds me of:

[homepages.theonion.com image 110x145]

Yeah, but Joe Biden is the guy Jim Anchower wishes he was.
They should do a crossover one of these days.


They should review Zeppelin albums together.


MrEricSir: keylock71: Rev. Skarekroe: The Onion's version of Joe Biden may be their best running gag ever.

It's great... Reminds me of:

[homepages.theonion.com image 110x145]

I wish they'd do more Jim Anchower. He was always my favorite of their "why are you writing this?" newspaper columnists.


I miss those articles, too. Inspired.

Cars I have drove and loved
 
2012-10-04 03:37:19 PM  
s8.postimage.org

Biden does burnouts to get pumped for debates
 
2012-10-04 03:38:54 PM  

Great Odins Raven: All Obama has to do to get rid of a hard on is think about his wife.


Shouldn't you be moose hunting or bowing to the Queen, Canadian? Enjoy the next 9 months of winter.
 
2012-10-04 03:42:17 PM  
This could be a fun theme for them to continue:

o.onionstatic.com
Mitt Romney Adopts New 'Ronnie Ferocious' Persona For Debates
 
2012-10-04 03:54:14 PM  

Apos: AdolfOliverPanties: The judgment of last night's debate
Mitt served Barack's ass on a plate
Anniversary pussy
Made Barry a wussy
Next time take Joe's advice- masturbate


/with a nod to MaxxLarge

+1


Nicely done.
 
2012-10-04 03:57:16 PM  

Glenford: My vote is hitting on a biker mama, while her old man watches.


i get the default reaction is "those bikers are pissed", but they look like they're wondering when they get to sit on uncle biden's lap.
 
2012-10-04 03:58:33 PM  
i'm rubbing one out right now, so i'm really getting a kick...
 
2012-10-04 03:59:44 PM  

colon_pow: i'm rubbing one out right now, so i'm really getting a kick...


There are things mankind was not meant to know.

These are two.
 
2012-10-04 04:02:31 PM  
What is disturbing is that I can totally believe this conversation took place.

/The Onion is the most accurate news source on the internet.
 
2012-10-04 04:02:42 PM  

maudibjr: unlikely: Coco LaFemme: gilgigamesh: Rev. Skarekroe: The Onion's version of Joe Biden may be their best running gag ever.

No maybe about it. I want them re-elected just so I can look forward to another 4 years of Biden and his chick magnet Camaro.

It's a Trans Am, dude.

His parents drove it up from the Bahamas. It can't be a Trans Am.

Biden didn't go to the Sandbar either


Next you're going to tell me he's never been to a Crystal shiat show.
 
2012-10-04 04:04:45 PM  

not5am: Glenford: My vote is hitting on a biker mama, while her old man watches.

i get the default reaction is "those bikers are pissed", but they look like they're wondering when they get to sit on uncle biden's lap.


Either way, it's still an awesome photo.
 
2012-10-04 04:05:41 PM  

Gyrfalcon: colon_pow: i'm rubbing one out right now, so i'm really getting a kick...

There are things mankind was not meant to know.

These are two.


Maybe that's what the "pow" in his name is.
 
2012-10-04 04:08:55 PM  

unlikely: maudibjr: unlikely: Coco LaFemme: gilgigamesh: Rev. Skarekroe: The Onion's version of Joe Biden may be their best running gag ever.

No maybe about it. I want them re-elected just so I can look forward to another 4 years of Biden and his chick magnet Camaro.

It's a Trans Am, dude.

His parents drove it up from the Bahamas. It can't be a Trans Am.

Biden didn't go to the Sandbar either

Next you're going to tell me he's never been to a Crystal shiat show.


you both win a million internets.
 
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