Do you have adblock enabled?

If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

•       •       •

10278 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Oct 2012 at 9:33 AM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:    more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

I bet it was Leroy Brown.
Is that going to be enough to forget about how much the Cubs suck?

/love the fact that I can google "taint corn" and this is the first hit

iron_city_ap: A football field sized crop of weed is worth \$10 million !?

You're obviously not familiar with CopMath™

Here's a quick lesson:

1. Latrell gets caught with one (1) ounce of dirt weed. You take the actual value (\$50) and multiply that by 100. So, \$50*100 = \$5,000. Then, you double that amount because Latrell is a dirty, sub-human negro.. who probably robs and kills people all day. So, \$5,000*2 = \$10,000. This ensures a long prison sentence for Latrell, and you (the cop) get an award for taking both a filthy criminal and dangerous addictive narcotics off of the street.

2. Shane gets pulled over for his license plate light being out (in broad daylight). He's driving a Hyundai, so he can't be rich, but when you (the cop) smell something, you decide to search Shane's car and find \$10,000 in cash. You plant a 2mg Xanax (School Bus/Totem Pole/Whatever the kids call them these days) on his floorboard so you have probable cause to arrest him. Because he is now in custody, you immediately divide the cash by two. So, \$10,000/2 = \$5,000 (hint: you take the \$5k for yourself). When the backup cruiser arrives, you subtract 80% of the remaining \$5k to cover your co-workers (other cops). So, \$5,000-80% = \$1,000. Because the cash was initially found in a Ziploc™ bag, you slap a distribution charge on Shane as well (that will show him). You then get an award for getting a drug peddling criminal and dangerous drug money off of the street. As a bonus, you get to impound his Hyundai, which will be auctioned off to bring in more revenue for your brothers in blue.
2 acres in the middle of the city? When reached for comment the cops were quoted as saying "were not even mad, we're impressed!".
Is that going to be enough for Joakim Noah?
 1 vote:
Administer data warehouses 7-3:30
Out of work at 3:30
Home at 4:00
Let the dogs out 4:01
check house for doggy accidents 4:02
Let the dogs in 4:07
Give treats, meds and food to dogs 4:07.01
Check messages 4:10
check snail mail 4:14
Change out of work clothes 4:17
Burn one 4:20
Get out harmonicas. Try to jam along with Wille and Waylon 4:22
Look at laptop, think about porn. 4:59
Walk dogs instead 5:00
Continue perpetual bathroom remodeling 6:00
Burn anotha? 6:20
Something Netflix something something 7:00
Sleep like a baby without the drooling 10:00

Totally unproductive day.
 1 vote:
♪ Well the South side of Chicago
Is the baddest part of town
And if you go down there
You better just beware
Of some smoke named Ditchweed Brown ♪
 1 vote:
On the next episode of "Boss":

Mayor Kane has a groovy time, maaaaaan.
 1 vote:

Leeds: Pelvic Splanchnic Ganglion: santadog: 10 Million... for 1500 plants.

Well, to be fair, they DID say "up to 10 million". So, pretty much any dollar amount under that is still accurate.

Also, this is 2012. Can we please stop using the football field as a unit of measurement? It's embarrassing.

A metric fan, eh? I'm guessing you must prefer hectares for these measurements...

Perhaps posting the conversion rate will make it easier for people to shift away from using football fields:

1 football field = 0.535 hectares

1 hectare = 1.86915887850467 football fields

Is hectare the word for soccer field?
 1 vote:

TheEdibleSnuggie: You forgot to carry the 1.

That's in the advanced CopMath™ tutorial.
 1 vote:

ltdanman44: bhcompy: Pretty common here out west. If there's public or private land that can hide something with natural geography or a tree line buildup or something else you can bet that someone is going to try to grow marijuana in it. Of course, you get people like the ones in this thread that talk about how marijuana didn't kill anyone and prohibition is bad, but I'm not sure they understand that when it's legal and commercialized the Mexican Mafia is still going to want theirs, still can provide the best price(like beer snobs, pot snobs make up a small percentage of the pot smoking population), and will still kill people over marijuana.

[novelthought.org image 400x439]

The troll in that picture seems to diddle himself a lot...
 1 vote:

Egoy3k: bhcompy: like beer snobs, pot snobs make up a small percentage of the pot smoking population

You don't know many pot smokers do you?

I know plenty. They're called poor high school and college students.
 1 vote:
Should have set the whole field on fire and blown it over the city. Might have chilled that murdering out for a moment or two.
 1 vote:

bhcompy: Pretty common here out west. If there's public or private land that can hide something with natural geography or a tree line buildup or something else you can bet that someone is going to try to grow marijuana in it. Of course, you get people like the ones in this thread that talk about how marijuana didn't kill anyone and prohibition is bad, but I'm not sure they understand that when it's legal and commercialized the Mexican Mafia is still going to want theirs, still can provide the best price(like beer snobs, pot snobs make up a small percentage of the pot smoking population), and will still kill people over marijuana.

I live with my mom you suck at this.
 1 vote:
When asked how he managed such an undertaking, the grower said, "I learned it from you!!"
 1 vote:
FTFA: Those involved with narcotics, whether it is marijuana, heroin or cocaine, purchase firearms with their profits and have shown they're willing to use them to protect their business, he said.

This is why we need to cawkpunch cops on a regular basis.
Pot =/= a narcotic.

/cawkpunches all around to cook county's finest.
 1 vote:
bhcompy: Which, troll or moron?
 1 vote:
Pretty common here out west. If there's public or private land that can hide something with natural geography or a tree line buildup or something else you can bet that someone is going to try to grow marijuana in it. Of course, you get people like the ones in this thread that talk about how marijuana didn't kill anyone and prohibition is bad, but I'm not sure they understand that when it's legal and commercialized the Mexican Mafia is still going to want theirs, still can provide the best price(like beer snobs, pot snobs make up a small percentage of the pot smoking population), and will still kill people over marijuana.
 1 vote:

dahmers love zombie: Meanwhile, in the 24 hours it took them to cut all that pot down, the death toll added up like this:
Alcohol: 208 deaths
Marijuana: 0 deaths

looks like prohibition is working

Displayed 20 of 20 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.