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(Slate)   Expert offers advice on what to say to your son when you discover his porn stash. Missing: "So, son... (grabs notepad) ...what was that website address again?"   (slate.com) divider line 27
    More: Amusing, uniform resource locators, porn, sons  
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8583 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Oct 2012 at 8:15 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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Archived thread
2012-10-04 08:14:47 AM
6 votes:
So using a keylogger to get his password and posting his entire search history on Facebook along with direct messages to his female friends pointing out how similar in appearance they are to his favorite "actresses" isn't the way to go?
2012-10-04 04:58:35 PM
4 votes:

meanmutton: Nurglitch: sodomizer: I think the response is the same that you should tell your kid for any unproductive activity: "This will get you nowhere. The time and energy you're using on this would be better placed elsewhere, like education, sports, or finding a soulmate."

There's a beautiful synergy between your username and your advice.

I think I would have spent less time masturbating if I'd had easy access to porn as a teenager - I would have rubbed one out and gotten on with my day instead of all the hijinks I went through for the privacy and material to spank it. As a parent, I think I'd make sure that my kids have a few back-issue collections of Savage Love to peruse.

Frankly I'd be more concerned about them watching prime-time soap operas and forming an opinion about relationships from that sort of material than from porn.

Let's not pretend that Gonzo style porn, which is almost exclusively the type you easily find on the Internet, shows anything even remotely close to what sex our relationships should be like.


www.deviantart.com
2012-10-04 05:48:35 PM
3 votes:

Undulation: On a related note, I'm pretty sure women can only get aroused when baking pies, and not when thinking about pictures of people having sex.


Women only become aroused at the prospect of taking the seed of a prosperous, physically fit man who has demonstrated qualities of responsibility and devotion such that she can be sure he will remain to support her and any children resulting from their union. Beyond this, it is the image of a strong, fit, handsome man performing household tasks like vacuuming, washing dishes, folding laundry, or doing yard work. It is not merely his brawn, but his perceived fitness as a provider, paired with his display of competence in maintaining a safe, stable household which taps her moistness. This presentation of hard work and dedication to protecting her and her progeny can stimulate her such that her breasts will swell and nipples will harden, even to the point of lactating, while her vulva becomes engorged and begins to lubricate at the sound of the washing machine starting as he grasps the knob in his clean, strong hand, gently twists to just the right point, and pulls. Firmly. Irresistibly.

This will inflame her passion. This will arouse her lusts, dampening her undergarments, swelling the delicate petals of her secret, precious flower, bringing forth the flow of sweet nectars and the aroma of Spring that will delight the gods and cause the dew to lay heavy on the evening clover.
2012-10-04 02:11:19 PM
3 votes:

FunkOut: It was explained to me that men look at porn because it's impossible for them to mentally fantasise about having sex and jerk off to that like many women do and it would be wrong to expect a man to have to do that. Men don't have the capacity to imagine a sexual fantasy in their mind and simply leave it to the professionals.


You were told wrong.

I told my son that he was made in the image of our Lord, perfect and whole. I told him that a man's hands naturally reached his penis when laying supine. This was no accident or coincidence, but God's plan for him until he finds his wife. The Lord wants him to touch his penis, and often, but in private, and with a clean cache afterward. And not to spill his seed on the sofa or the bed sheets where they will stain and enfunk our home, but instead to release his issue into a paper towel, that it may be sanctified and blessed before disposal.

My daughter will get a Sybian when she's older.
2012-10-04 09:15:40 AM
3 votes:

John Buck 41: Earpj: I just periodically remind my boys that porn is fantasy. Very few women will let you slap them in the face with your penis.

That's a dealbreaker.


Obligatory (NSFW!!)
2012-10-04 08:34:37 AM
3 votes:
I just periodically remind my boys that porn is fantasy. Very few women will let you slap them in the face with your penis.
2012-10-04 09:01:56 AM
2 votes:
If your kid is looking at porn, you should make sure that he's open-minded. Put some gay porn in there, midgets, A2M, interracial, the works, or he'll grow up to be closed-minded.
2012-10-04 08:43:39 AM
2 votes:
From the Reddit link,
"I've been on this earth three times as long as you and there's nothing you have done or will do that I haven't done before. "

Urgh, way to tell your son that you wanked all over his bed to dog midget porn.
2012-10-04 08:38:24 AM
2 votes:
i.imgur.com

Obligatory.
2012-10-04 08:25:34 AM
2 votes:
Explain the downfalls of IE and how to browse in a safe and secure manner.
2012-10-04 08:24:16 AM
2 votes:
Unless he is a risk of a malware or is into disturbing stuff I think the best advice is that of the German philosopher Sgt. Shultz, "I see nothing."
2012-10-04 08:22:54 AM
2 votes:

sodomizer: I think the response is the same that you should tell your kid for any unproductive activity: "This will get you nowhere. The time and energy you're using on this would be better placed elsewhere, like education, sports, or finding a soulmate."


that's a heck of a thing to say coming from a guy like you.
2012-10-04 05:32:54 PM
1 votes:
A person I work with came home, and his wife presented him with some smut magazines she found under their teenage son's bed. She told him "he" needed to address with "his" son. He said "OK", and called his son into the room and told him. " If your going to bring something into this house that your Mom and I doesn't approve of,... you better do a better job of hiding it. You need to find a place she'll never look,... like under the vacuum cleaner." Then took it through the kitchen and dropped them in the trash.
2012-10-04 01:47:22 PM
1 votes:

Shadowtag: My girlfriend is chronically ill, to the point where she's given me the go ahead to cheat on her if I have to, as long as I don't lie about it. I think she can say that because she knows I won't. She's well aware of my porn stash, and only insists that if I find something awesome (say, anything from Stoya or Justine Jolie getting fisted) I show her. Unless it goes all kiddie and gross, then she'll punch me right in the face and I'll wake up in the river right as police arrive. She's mostly glad that my kinks end up quaint, and when she does feel up to it, we can act it out.

Except for the french maid thing. For some reason she won't do that one. I've told her repeatedly she doesn't have to do the accent, just leave the thigh high fishnets on.

At some point she's agreed to dress up as Power Girl but every time it gets to bleaching her hair out, we end up in an argument until one of us is too exhausted to continue and has to sleep on the couch.

/Sixteen years in two months.



Only twenty-six more to go, and then she's legal!
2012-10-04 12:08:21 PM
1 votes:
You know what's even more awkward?

When you are doing tech support for your clueless 80-year-old father and you find teenage blow-job vids all over the place, along with all the malware,

"Dad, I think it's time we had a little talk."

Awwwk-ward.
2012-10-04 09:40:25 AM
1 votes:
I heard this from a radio DJ:

"My wife found out that my son was looking at porn on the computer and told me I had to have 'The Talk' with him. So I say him down and said 'OK, son. This is how you clear your browser history...'"
2012-10-04 09:14:01 AM
1 votes:

ImmaHoopyFrood: My son is 15 now. He started with the victoria's secret catalog at 12.


Funny, I used to finish with the Victoria's Secret catalog.
2012-10-04 08:51:51 AM
1 votes:
"Son, the pleasure of rubbing one out is one of life's silver linings. It will help keep you sane in a thoroughly farked up world. Enjoy it without guilt as often as you feel is appropriate. Don't do it out in public. And stop stealing your Mom's hand lotion."
2012-10-04 08:50:58 AM
1 votes:

meanmutton: Let's not pretend that Gonzo style porn, which is almost exclusively the type you easily find on the Internet, shows anything even remotely close to what sex our relationships should be like.


You sound Mormon.
2012-10-04 08:47:25 AM
1 votes:

Earpj: I just periodically remind my boys that porn is fantasy. Very few women will let you slap them in the face with your penis.



But when you find that special girl, it's magic.
2012-10-04 08:40:11 AM
1 votes:

Nurglitch: sodomizer: I think the response is the same that you should tell your kid for any unproductive activity: "This will get you nowhere. The time and energy you're using on this would be better placed elsewhere, like education, sports, or finding a soulmate."

There's a beautiful synergy between your username and your advice.

I think I would have spent less time masturbating if I'd had easy access to porn as a teenager - I would have rubbed one out and gotten on with my day instead of all the hijinks I went through for the privacy and material to spank it. As a parent, I think I'd make sure that my kids have a few back-issue collections of Savage Love to peruse.

Frankly I'd be more concerned about them watching prime-time soap operas and forming an opinion about relationships from that sort of material than from porn.


Let's not pretend that Gonzo style porn, which is almost exclusively the type you easily find on the Internet, shows anything even remotely close to what sex our relationships should be like.
2012-10-04 08:32:24 AM
1 votes:
No, Dad, the number 4, not F-O-U-R, then...
2012-10-04 08:26:19 AM
1 votes:

sodomizer: I think the response is the same that you should tell your kid for any unproductive activity: "This will get you nowhere. The time and energy you're using on this would be better placed elsewhere, like education, sports, or finding a soulmate."


There's a beautiful synergy between your username and your advice.

I think I would have spent less time masturbating if I'd had easy access to porn as a teenager - I would have rubbed one out and gotten on with my day instead of all the hijinks I went through for the privacy and material to spank it. As a parent, I think I'd make sure that my kids have a few back-issue collections of Savage Love to peruse.

Frankly I'd be more concerned about them watching prime-time soap operas and forming an opinion about relationships from that sort of material than from porn.
2012-10-04 08:25:17 AM
1 votes:
FTFA: He basically said, "I won't make a big deal or any-sized deal about it," though he did go pretty deeply and somewhat creatively into the dangers of pornography to computers.

This is exactly what I would do. I would also tell him to use Firefox with NoScript and how to adjust its settings.

/xvideo, tube8, youporn
2012-10-04 08:24:38 AM
1 votes:
"Waitaminute...this shiat is free on the internet?! Hot damn!"
2012-10-04 08:20:56 AM
1 votes:
I learned it from you, Jr! I learned it from you!
2012-10-04 08:20:02 AM
1 votes:
I think the response is the same that you should tell your kid for any unproductive activity: "This will get you nowhere. The time and energy you're using on this would be better placed elsewhere, like education, sports, or finding a soulmate."
 
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