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(Slate)   Expert offers advice on what to say to your son when you discover his porn stash. Missing: "So, son... (grabs notepad) ...what was that website address again?"   (slate.com) divider line 136
    More: Amusing, uniform resource locators, porn, sons  
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8583 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Oct 2012 at 8:15 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-10-04 08:14:47 AM
So using a keylogger to get his password and posting his entire search history on Facebook along with direct messages to his female friends pointing out how similar in appearance they are to his favorite "actresses" isn't the way to go?
 
2012-10-04 08:20:02 AM
I think the response is the same that you should tell your kid for any unproductive activity: "This will get you nowhere. The time and energy you're using on this would be better placed elsewhere, like education, sports, or finding a soulmate."
 
2012-10-04 08:20:56 AM
I learned it from you, Jr! I learned it from you!
 
2012-10-04 08:22:54 AM

sodomizer: I think the response is the same that you should tell your kid for any unproductive activity: "This will get you nowhere. The time and energy you're using on this would be better placed elsewhere, like education, sports, or finding a soulmate."


that's a heck of a thing to say coming from a guy like you.
 
2012-10-04 08:24:16 AM
Unless he is a risk of a malware or is into disturbing stuff I think the best advice is that of the German philosopher Sgt. Shultz, "I see nothing."
 
2012-10-04 08:24:38 AM
"Waitaminute...this shiat is free on the internet?! Hot damn!"
 
2012-10-04 08:25:17 AM
FTFA: He basically said, "I won't make a big deal or any-sized deal about it," though he did go pretty deeply and somewhat creatively into the dangers of pornography to computers.

This is exactly what I would do. I would also tell him to use Firefox with NoScript and how to adjust its settings.

/xvideo, tube8, youporn
 
2012-10-04 08:25:34 AM
Explain the downfalls of IE and how to browse in a safe and secure manner.
 
2012-10-04 08:26:19 AM

sodomizer: I think the response is the same that you should tell your kid for any unproductive activity: "This will get you nowhere. The time and energy you're using on this would be better placed elsewhere, like education, sports, or finding a soulmate."


There's a beautiful synergy between your username and your advice.

I think I would have spent less time masturbating if I'd had easy access to porn as a teenager - I would have rubbed one out and gotten on with my day instead of all the hijinks I went through for the privacy and material to spank it. As a parent, I think I'd make sure that my kids have a few back-issue collections of Savage Love to peruse.

Frankly I'd be more concerned about them watching prime-time soap operas and forming an opinion about relationships from that sort of material than from porn.
 
2012-10-04 08:28:42 AM
TFA: Let's say you find history of porn searches on your 13-year-old's computer

stopped reading there. Is it really that hard to just not give your kid unsupervised access to his own computer?
 
2012-10-04 08:32:24 AM
No, Dad, the number 4, not F-O-U-R, then...
 
2012-10-04 08:34:17 AM
I'd worry about a thirteen-year-old boy who had access to porn and DIDN'T look at it.
 
2012-10-04 08:34:37 AM
I just periodically remind my boys that porn is fantasy. Very few women will let you slap them in the face with your penis.
 
2012-10-04 08:35:46 AM

serial_crusher: TFA: Let's say you find history of porn searches on your 13-year-old's computer

stopped reading there. Is it really that hard to just not give your kid unsupervised access to his own computer?


At 13? Do you lock out r rated movies on the cable too and still hold his hand while he crosses the street to?
 
2012-10-04 08:38:24 AM
i.imgur.com

Obligatory.
 
2012-10-04 08:38:28 AM

markfara: I'd worry about a thirteen-year-old boy who had access to porn and DIDN'T look at it.


This.

xanadian: FTFA: He basically said, "I won't make a big deal or any-sized deal about it," though he did go pretty deeply and somewhat creatively into the dangers of pornography to computers.

This is exactly what I would do. I would also tell him to use Firefox with NoScript and how to adjust its settings.

/xvideo, tube8, youporn


Common sense. Don't shame the kid, just teach them safety.
 
2012-10-04 08:40:11 AM

Nurglitch: sodomizer: I think the response is the same that you should tell your kid for any unproductive activity: "This will get you nowhere. The time and energy you're using on this would be better placed elsewhere, like education, sports, or finding a soulmate."

There's a beautiful synergy between your username and your advice.

I think I would have spent less time masturbating if I'd had easy access to porn as a teenager - I would have rubbed one out and gotten on with my day instead of all the hijinks I went through for the privacy and material to spank it. As a parent, I think I'd make sure that my kids have a few back-issue collections of Savage Love to peruse.

Frankly I'd be more concerned about them watching prime-time soap operas and forming an opinion about relationships from that sort of material than from porn.


Let's not pretend that Gonzo style porn, which is almost exclusively the type you easily find on the Internet, shows anything even remotely close to what sex our relationships should be like.
 
2012-10-04 08:40:24 AM
Discovers? Isn't it right there for all to see?

1.bp.blogspot.com

/dnrtfa
 
2012-10-04 08:42:36 AM
TBLOP site is best site.
 
2012-10-04 08:43:39 AM
From the Reddit link,
"I've been on this earth three times as long as you and there's nothing you have done or will do that I haven't done before. "

Urgh, way to tell your son that you wanked all over his bed to dog midget porn.
 
2012-10-04 08:47:25 AM

Earpj: I just periodically remind my boys that porn is fantasy. Very few women will let you slap them in the face with your penis.



But when you find that special girl, it's magic.
 
2012-10-04 08:50:58 AM

meanmutton: Let's not pretend that Gonzo style porn, which is almost exclusively the type you easily find on the Internet, shows anything even remotely close to what sex our relationships should be like.


You sound Mormon.
 
2012-10-04 08:51:45 AM

meanmutton: Nurglitch: sodomizer: I think the response is the same that you should tell your kid for any unproductive activity: "This will get you nowhere. The time and energy you're using on this would be better placed elsewhere, like education, sports, or finding a soulmate."

There's a beautiful synergy between your username and your advice.

I think I would have spent less time masturbating if I'd had easy access to porn as a teenager - I would have rubbed one out and gotten on with my day instead of all the hijinks I went through for the privacy and material to spank it. As a parent, I think I'd make sure that my kids have a few back-issue collections of Savage Love to peruse.

Frankly I'd be more concerned about them watching prime-time soap operas and forming an opinion about relationships from that sort of material than from porn.

Let's not pretend that Gonzo style porn, which is almost exclusively the type you easily find on the Internet, shows anything even remotely close to what sex our relationships should be like.


Oh? What sex should our relationships be like?
 
2012-10-04 08:51:51 AM
"Son, the pleasure of rubbing one out is one of life's silver linings. It will help keep you sane in a thoroughly farked up world. Enjoy it without guilt as often as you feel is appropriate. Don't do it out in public. And stop stealing your Mom's hand lotion."
 
2012-10-04 08:53:24 AM

Nurglitch: Frankly I'd be more concerned about them watching prime-time soap operas and forming an opinion about relationships from that sort of material than from porn.


Porn = Soaps without the acting.
Soaps = Porn without the sex.
 
2012-10-04 08:53:27 AM

meanmutton: Let's not pretend that Gonzo style porn, which is almost exclusively the type you easily find on the Internet, shows anything even remotely close to what sex our relationships should be like.


Exactly. Someone else brought up soap operas, which are also bad. I wouldn't want my kids thinking that either one is a plausible template for a relationship... unless I hated my kids, of course.
 
2012-10-04 08:54:21 AM

Earpj: I just periodically remind my boys that porn is fantasy. Very few women will let you slap them in the face with your penis.


That's a dealbreaker.
 
2012-10-04 08:57:25 AM

Dr. Goldshnoz: that's a heck of a thing to say coming from a guy like you.


You don't know me, Internet Person.
 
2012-10-04 08:58:44 AM

John Buck 41: Earpj: I just periodically remind my boys that porn is fantasy. Very few women will let you slap them in the face with your penis.

That's a dealbreaker.


For most women, I would imagine so.
 
2012-10-04 09:00:45 AM
My son is 15 now. He started with the victoria's secret catalog at 12. Over the last month my proxy has been picking up on his online porn searches and visits. I asked him if he wanted to tell me anything about where he has been going online and he spilled the beans without a problem. Told him if there are any more visits to porn sites on my network he loses access. Porn sites are laden with malware.

I told him to build a cantenna or get an external antenna, and drill a hole in his Galaxy and hook into an unsecured WAP in the neighborhood. I don't allow the handhelds full access to the internal wap. Or he can get his own internet access. I also got him a subscription to Playboy. Look at all the porn you want. Just don't do it over my network.

I asked him if he enjoyed the Stephen Hawking classic interview in the last issue. He grinned and said "Yeah... I read that for like 20 minutes"
 
2012-10-04 09:01:56 AM
If your kid is looking at porn, you should make sure that he's open-minded. Put some gay porn in there, midgets, A2M, interracial, the works, or he'll grow up to be closed-minded.
 
2012-10-04 09:02:39 AM

Nurglitch: meanmutton: Nurglitch: sodomizer: I think the response is the same that you should tell your kid for any unproductive activity: "This will get you nowhere. The time and energy you're using on this would be better placed elsewhere, like education, sports, or finding a soulmate."

There's a beautiful synergy between your username and your advice.

I think I would have spent less time masturbating if I'd had easy access to porn as a teenager - I would have rubbed one out and gotten on with my day instead of all the hijinks I went through for the privacy and material to spank it. As a parent, I think I'd make sure that my kids have a few back-issue collections of Savage Love to peruse.

Frankly I'd be more concerned about them watching prime-time soap operas and forming an opinion about relationships from that sort of material than from porn.

Let's not pretend that Gonzo style porn, which is almost exclusively the type you easily find on the Internet, shows anything even remotely close to what sex our relationships should be like.

Oh? What sex should our relationships be like?


It should be like that., you know.w
 
2012-10-04 09:05:56 AM

meanmutton:

Let's not pretend that Gonzo style porn, which is almost exclusively the type you easily find on the Internet, shows anything even remotely close to what sex our relationships should be like.


A sexual relationship should be however the consenting adults involved, want it to be. It's no one elses business.

I'm sure some people in the world have porn style relationships.
 
2012-10-04 09:09:07 AM

Earpj: A sexual relationship should be however the consenting adults involved, want it to be. It's no one elses business.


That's the safe postmodern view.

The counterpoint is that some types of behavior lead to misery and neurosis, and others lead to health.

Same reason we don't legalize drugs and bestiality.
 
2012-10-04 09:12:34 AM

sodomizer: Earpj: A sexual relationship should be however the consenting adults involved, want it to be. It's no one elses business.

That's the safe postmodern view.

The counterpoint is that some types of behavior lead to misery and neurosis, and others lead to health.

Same reason we don't legalize drugs and bestiality.


Most of the sexual neuroses I see in people were inflicted by others judging what they like, not by what they actually like.
 
2012-10-04 09:14:01 AM

ImmaHoopyFrood: My son is 15 now. He started with the victoria's secret catalog at 12.


Funny, I used to finish with the Victoria's Secret catalog.
 
2012-10-04 09:15:40 AM

John Buck 41: Earpj: I just periodically remind my boys that porn is fantasy. Very few women will let you slap them in the face with your penis.

That's a dealbreaker.


Obligatory (NSFW!!)
 
2012-10-04 09:16:19 AM

ChrisDe: ImmaHoopyFrood: My son is 15 now. He started with the victoria's secret catalog at 12.

Funny, I used to finish with the Victoria's Secret catalog.


...Sears catalog :/
 
2012-10-04 09:16:56 AM

sodomizer: Earpj: A sexual relationship should be however the consenting adults involved, want it to be. It's no one elses business.

That's the safe postmodern view.

The counterpoint is that some types of behavior lead to misery and neurosis, and others lead to health.

Same reason we don't legalize drugs and bestiality.


All depends on the people involved. I wouldn't presume to decide what will make anyone else happy/miserable in their own lives. My daughter is living her life in a way that is foreign to me, but she's thriving.

Some people can have a perfectly innocuous life, and still be miserable. No two people are the same and no two people will react or feel exactly the same way.

That's what makes life grand. :)
 
2012-10-04 09:18:29 AM

Devolving_Spud: "Son, the pleasure of rubbing one out is one of life's silver linings. It will help keep you sane in a thoroughly farked up world. Enjoy it without guilt as often as you feel is appropriate. Don't do it out in public. And stop stealing your Mom's hand lotion."


Switch up your routine, and use a light touch, so as not to inadvertently train yourself to be unable to get off any other way.

/um, so I read from Dan Savage
 
hej
2012-10-04 09:21:45 AM
CSB; I actually had the an experience like subby's headline when I test drove a car years ago. A friend of mine was with me, salesman in the back seat. Sales guy couldn't have been less excited about his job until he asked us the obligatory "so, what do you guys do for a living". One of us jokingly said we mostly just surfed porn sites, at which point he lit up like a christmas tree and asked us which ones we used.
 
2012-10-04 09:25:49 AM

Koodz: Most of the sexual neuroses I see in people were inflicted by others judging what they like, not by what they actually like.


Known expert! I think you've mistaken offense/butthurt for neurosis.

Earpj: All depends on the people involved. I wouldn't presume to decide what will make anyone else happy/miserable in their own lives. My daughter is living her life in a way that is foreign to me, but she's thriving.

Some people can have a perfectly innocuous life, and still be miserable. No two people are the same and no two people will react or feel exactly the same way.

That's what makes life grand. :)


Yeah, I've heard that one before, about life being grand because everyone's just doing their thing. Twenty years ago I believed it. Now I realize how that was just wishful thinking on the part of those who wanted to "be different."

Your daughter may find that time modifies her success as well.

As far as the people having perfectly innocuous lives and being miserable, the technical term for that is a non sequitur; it literally has no bearing on what we're discussing.
 
2012-10-04 09:27:10 AM

Inigo: [i.imgur.com image 644x200]

Obligatory.


That would sound like what might have happened if my father had discovered my 13 year old self looking at skin mags.
"Son, where did you get this copy of penthouse?"
"From the bottom drawer of your bedside furniture. Would it have been better if I had played with the loaded saturday night special in the top drawer?"
 
2012-10-04 09:28:52 AM

Earpj: I just periodically remind my boys that porn is fantasy. Very few women will let you slap them in the face with your penis.


Well that depends. Does the guy get a running start?
 
2012-10-04 09:30:55 AM
also obligatory (and NSFW)

Link
 
2012-10-04 09:34:55 AM

ImmaHoopyFrood: My son is 15 now. He started with the victoria's secret catalog at 12. Over the last month my proxy has been picking up on his online porn searches and visits. I asked him if he wanted to tell me anything about where he has been going online and he spilled the beans without a problem. Told him if there are any more visits to porn sites on my network he loses access. Porn sites are laden with malware.

I told him to build a cantenna or get an external antenna, and drill a hole in his Galaxy and hook into an unsecured WAP in the neighborhood. I don't allow the handhelds full access to the internal wap. Or he can get his own internet access. I also got him a subscription to Playboy. Look at all the porn you want. Just don't do it over my network.

I asked him if he enjoyed the Stephen Hawking classic interview in the last issue. He grinned and said "Yeah... I read that for like 20 minutes"


Should tell him to stop running Windows, or at least not for his 'pleasure' machine then you don't have to go through all of the effort of stealing internets from someone else.
 
2012-10-04 09:37:47 AM

sodomizer: Koodz: Most of the sexual neuroses I see in people were inflicted by others judging what they like, not by what they actually like.

Known expert! I think you've mistaken offense/butthurt for neurosis.

Earpj: All depends on the people involved. I wouldn't presume to decide what will make anyone else happy/miserable in their own lives. My daughter is living her life in a way that is foreign to me, but she's thriving.

Some people can have a perfectly innocuous life, and still be miserable. No two people are the same and no two people will react or feel exactly the same way.

That's what makes life grand. :)

Yeah, I've heard that one before, about life being grand because everyone's just doing their thing. Twenty years ago I believed it. Now I realize how that was just wishful thinking on the part of those who wanted to "be different."

Your daughter may find that time modifies her success as well.

As far as the people having perfectly innocuous lives and being miserable, the technical term for that is a non sequitur; it literally has no bearing on what we're discussing.


Wow, thats a really jaded, faded, old sorry ass "been there done that years ago now all the t shirts dont even fit my fat ass any more" point of view, sodomizer.

Its like you missed a turn back there somewhere between the fetish party, the polyamorous girlfriend and the trips to burningman.

and that therefore means the activities were to blame, not the person doing them.
 
2012-10-04 09:38:23 AM

Cheron: Unless he is a risk of a malware or is into disturbing stuff I think the best advice is that of the German philosopher Sgt. Shultz, "I see nothing."


Someone kid I never met stole some Club magazines from his dad, his cousin stole them from him, his younger brother stole them from him, I stole them from the him (my best friend in middle school), and they disappeared from the place I hid them after a few weeks. I don't know if one of my brothers or friends found them, or if one of my parents picked them and decided to avoid having "the talk." Luckily, internet porn came out just a few months later.
 
2012-10-04 09:38:32 AM

sodomizer:

As far as the people having perfectly innocuous lives and being miserable, the technical term for that is a non sequitur; it literally has no bearing on what we're discussing.


Hmm...ya think so? I thought people leading "deviant" lives, as is often shown in porn, and how it can make some miserable...is part of what we were discussing. So, leading innocuous (as in "not deviant") lives and still being miserable, fit right in.

My apologies if I were mistaken.
 
2012-10-04 09:38:56 AM

miss diminutive: Earpj: I just periodically remind my boys that porn is fantasy. Very few women will let you slap them in the face with your penis.

Well that depends. Does the guy get a running start?


How YOU Doin'!
 
2012-10-04 09:39:11 AM
I will tell them to be discreet, clean up after themselves, and use whatever the 2022 equivalent of incognito browsing is.

I will also tell them that porn is to sex as action movies are to fighting. They're both fun to watch, but you can get into a lot of trouble if you think you're learning how to do anything.

Also, porn:sex::____:fighting should be on the SAT.
 
2012-10-04 09:39:51 AM

sodomizer: I think the response is the same that you should tell your kid for any unproductive activity: "This will get you nowhere. The time and energy you're using on this would be better placed elsewhere, like law school, politics and finding discreet hookers."


FTFY
 
2012-10-04 09:40:25 AM
I heard this from a radio DJ:

"My wife found out that my son was looking at porn on the computer and told me I had to have 'The Talk' with him. So I say him down and said 'OK, son. This is how you clear your browser history...'"
 
2012-10-04 09:40:26 AM

Another Pretentious Nickname: porn:sex::____:fighting


I know! I know! UFC.
 
2012-10-04 09:42:21 AM
ahh, I remember when my parents found my massive porn collection. My father sent my mother out of the room and we had a "guy talk" about the birds and the bees and how bees and birds having sex with each other was an abomination just like interacial dating, and finished up the conversation with a hearty "At least you're not some light in the loafers sissy boy queer" before leaving and taking my best issues of hustler promising to return them at some point. So yeah my childhood was really farked up.
 
2012-10-04 09:43:15 AM

NickelP: serial_crusher: TFA: Let's say you find history of porn searches on your 13-year-old's computer

stopped reading there. Is it really that hard to just not give your kid unsupervised access to his own computer?

At 13? Do you lock out r rated movies on the cable too and still hold his hand while he crosses the street to?


I don't think it's unreasonable to make sure the only computer your kid has access to is a desktop that's in the living room. I'm not advocating looking over his shoulder every second that he's using the thing. Just make it a little more difficult for him to set up his own 24/7 porn dungeon in his bedroom.

I guess phones these days make that sort of regulation a moot point. So maybe it is better to just give him a laptop.
 
2012-10-04 09:50:35 AM

sodomizer: I think the response is the same that you should tell your kid for any unproductive activity: "This will get you nowhere. The time and energy you're using on this would be better placed elsewhere, like education, sports, or finding a soulmate."


You could say the same thing about reading Fark.
 
2012-10-04 09:58:26 AM

untaken_name: Another Pretentious Nickname: porn:sex::____:fighting

I know! I know! UFC.


I chuckled...

UFC is like "amateur" porn - you know, not the *real* amateur porn, but the professional psuedo-amateur porn.

traditional porn:sex::jean-claude van damme movies:fighting

amateur porn:sex::UFC:fighting

anime porn:sex::street fighter:fighting
 
2012-10-04 10:04:03 AM

Earpj: meanmutton:

Let's not pretend that Gonzo style porn, which is almost exclusively the type you easily find on the Internet, shows anything even remotely close to what sex our relationships should be like.

A sexual relationship should be however the consenting adults involved, want it to be. It's no one elses business.

I'm sure some people in the world have porn style relationships.


13 year olds aren't consenting adults.
 
2012-10-04 10:09:46 AM
There are sites that are completely safe

Know how I know he doesn't know a lot about the interwebs?
Those maybe "safer" but no siet is completely safe. Site get compromised all the time and porn site are a favorite target.
 
2012-10-04 10:10:19 AM

meanmutton:

13 year olds aren't consenting adults.


No. They are not. I didn't say they were. I just meant that some people DO have sex lives that might fit into porn, and it works just fine for them.
 
2012-10-04 10:27:16 AM

probesport: Should tell him to stop running Windows, or at least not for his 'pleasure' machine then you don't have to go through all of the effort of stealing internets from someone else.


I won't let him use his laptop for it regardless of operating system. They are all hackable. Plus I never have to touch his Galaxy. I do have to mess with his laptop and I don't want to touch any gooey keys. And I don't want any of it going through my network anyway.

And with his Galaxy it is a quick wipe and reinstall apps. We have some coffee shops at the edge of the neighborhood, and quite a few dentists/therapists/chiropractors in the neighborhood with advertised open unsecured wireless, so he could use that. We are in Residential/Office zoning so any professional practitioner can set up a shingle as long as the appearance of the office looks house-like.
 
2012-10-04 10:27:44 AM
My girlfriend is chronically ill, to the point where she's given me the go ahead to cheat on her if I have to, as long as I don't lie about it. I think she can say that because she knows I won't. She's well aware of my porn stash, and only insists that if I find something awesome (say, anything from Stoya or Justine Jolie getting fisted) I show her. Unless it goes all kiddie and gross, then she'll punch me right in the face and I'll wake up in the river right as police arrive. She's mostly glad that my kinks end up quaint, and when she does feel up to it, we can act it out.

Except for the french maid thing. For some reason she won't do that one. I've told her repeatedly she doesn't have to do the accent, just leave the thigh high fishnets on.

At some point she's agreed to dress up as Power Girl but every time it gets to bleaching her hair out, we end up in an argument until one of us is too exhausted to continue and has to sleep on the couch.

/Sixteen years in two months.
 
2012-10-04 10:30:35 AM
"Son, you have discovered how to avoid the greatest mistakes in your life. Before any major decision. especially involving women, run to the john and rub one out to some youporn on the smartphone."
 
2012-10-04 10:50:54 AM

Earpj: meanmutton:

13 year olds aren't consenting adults.

No. They are not. I didn't say they were. I just meant that some people DO have sex lives that might fit into porn, and it works just fine for them.


Then how is that relevant to the discussion of what types of media are appropriate for helping a 13 year old understand emotionally rewarding relationships and fulfilling sex lives?
 
2012-10-04 10:58:14 AM
here's the part I don't understand about the internet and porn.

why does everyone have a porn folder? what about going online, looking at porn, sanitizing the computer, feeling shameful, and moving on with your day? why is there all this talk about porn folders? is it really the way y'all do porn? you download this stuff and save it in some folder? Am I doing it wrong by not downloading anything and not saving it in some folder?
 
2012-10-04 10:58:38 AM
My mom left it where it was and said "not until you're 18." I think I threw it out to be sure she wouldn't snoop around again, but they were just printed photos, in case I was home alone and the power was out or something, not the real stuff.
 
2012-10-04 11:03:06 AM
My dad noticed his porn stash missing one day and had a talk with me about it and he let me keep it. About a year later I bought a vcr.....
 
2012-10-04 11:06:10 AM

meanmutton:

Then how is that relevant to the discussion of what types of media are appropriate for helping a 13 year old understand emotionally rewarding relationships and fulfilling sex lives?


It doesn't. That's where parenting comes in. I know my 13 yr old son watches porn and I know that my 18 yr old son tells him all about the weird things he's seen on the internet. To pretend otherwise is plain stupid.

We talk about anything and everything. Nothing is taboo. No such thing as TMI.
So, I am able to talk to them about how it's usually not normal and to not expect sex to be like that in reality.

Not really sure where the types of media come into play. Maybe I need more coffee.
 
2012-10-04 11:21:46 AM
Your kids have genitals and they know how to use them.
 
2012-10-04 11:22:09 AM

Earpj: meanmutton:

13 year olds aren't consenting adults.

No. They are not. I didn't say they were. I just meant that some people DO have sex lives that might fit into porn, and it works just fine for them.


Trust her. She is speaking from experience
 
2012-10-04 11:25:11 AM

meanmutton: Earpj: meanmutton:

13 year olds aren't consenting adults.

No. They are not. I didn't say they were. I just meant that some people DO have sex lives that might fit into porn, and it works just fine for them.

Then how is that relevant to the discussion of what types of media are appropriate for helping a 13 year old understand emotionally rewarding relationships and fulfilling sex lives?


Because even a good girl likes to get dirty once in a while... my wife started off as a tame prude who didn't even want the lights on when we got together... Now... she loves the feel of latex vacuum beds and going down on other girls...

You don't just pick a girl up on a date and take her to the dungeon for christ's sakes, you have to ease them into it... like anal sex... you don't just flip them over and go in dry... you have to work on it, use plenty of lube, start with a pinky, before you know it, you'll be wrist deep and acting like Jeff Dunham with a puppet...

You just need to figure out what sortof "lube" will get her to that point... sometimes it's literal, other times, it might be a diamond necklace... And if your woman needs shiat you can't afford in order to play the "Let's do something new tonight" game... then find someone knew...

Sex is an exploration into the both the psyche, and the unknown... you HAVE to try new things... You won't know what you REALLY like unless you do... and watching it is not the same as doing... Wifey doesn't necessarily like watching porn unless there's some sort of story element to it, and her tastes are VERY specific... so I can't just sit her down on the PC and say, show me what you like... she doesn't like to watch, she likes doing...

This year we are giving swinging a shot... We've dated a couple already, but our busy schedules haven't given us room for anything in the bedroom yet... We've been accepted to a private club as well, but again, we haven't been able to go just yet...

Looking forward to it when we do... will be either fun and exciting, or a complete waste of time... who knows...
 
2012-10-04 11:29:39 AM

KingKauff:
No. They are not. I didn't say they were. I just meant that some people DO have sex lives that might fit into porn, and it works just fine for them.

Trust her. She is speaking from experience


Dude. You make it sound like I speak from experience about a porn like sex life. Jeezz...
 
2012-10-04 11:35:19 AM
"No. no girls will actually do that"
 
2012-10-04 11:45:08 AM
As long as it's not furry porn or anything with Bronies, it's cool with me. Some things are just not to be tolerated.
 
2012-10-04 11:45:23 AM

ImmaHoopyFrood: I don't want any of it going through my network anyway.


Any particular reason? Is he digging up pics of girls his own age or something?
 
2012-10-04 11:46:16 AM

ImmaHoopyFrood: My son is 15 now. He started with the victoria's secret catalog at 12. Over the last month my proxy has been picking up on his online porn searches and visits. I asked him if he wanted to tell me anything about where he has been going online and he spilled the beans without a problem. Told him if there are any more visits to porn sites on my network he loses access. Porn sites are laden with malware.

I told him to build a cantenna or get an external antenna, and drill a hole in his Galaxy and hook into an unsecured WAP in the neighborhood. I don't allow the handhelds full access to the internal wap. Or he can get his own internet access. I also got him a subscription to Playboy. Look at all the porn you want. Just don't do it over my network.

I asked him if he enjoyed the Stephen Hawking classic interview in the last issue. He grinned and said "Yeah... I read that for like 20 minutes"


Actually, you don't even need to do that. Just tell him sites like motherless and youporn are reputable, and to stay away from anything else. Between those two sites, he shouldn't want for anything, unless he wants to see some deviant crap, then direct him to 4chan in that case.

adblock + NoScript + SpyBot S&D + Reputable porn site= safe browsing.

And really, all of those things you should already have.
 
2012-10-04 11:47:48 AM

pute kisses like a man: here's the part I don't understand about the internet and porn.

why does everyone have a porn folder? what about going online, looking at porn, sanitizing the computer, feeling shameful, and moving on with your day? why is there all this talk about porn folders? is it really the way y'all do porn? you download this stuff and save it in some folder? Am I doing it wrong by not downloading anything and not saving it in some folder?


Sometimes you find something you think is really hot and want to keep it around for easy repeated perusal. (Mine is mostly text, but a few pics and vids, and I don't need to hide it or anything).

For pics and vids it was more important in the days of dialup Internet; you might not want to go through a long download/uudecode cycle every time you wanted to rub one out.
 
2012-10-04 11:56:47 AM
I'd tell him about the good old days when models had real tits and a patch.
 
2012-10-04 12:01:15 PM

sodomizer: Earpj: A sexual relationship should be however the consenting adults involved, want it to be. It's no one elses business.

That's the safe postmodern view.

The counterpoint is that some types of behavior lead to misery and neurosis, and others lead to health.

Same reason we don't legalize drugs and bestiality.


Gotta say, it's because of people like sodomizer here that I finally dropped the whole god/sin bag for good. And I'm a lot happier and healthier because of it.
 
2012-10-04 12:03:16 PM
Make sure that it's not larger than mine?
 
2012-10-04 12:08:21 PM
You know what's even more awkward?

When you are doing tech support for your clueless 80-year-old father and you find teenage blow-job vids all over the place, along with all the malware,

"Dad, I think it's time we had a little talk."

Awwwk-ward.
 
2012-10-04 12:10:08 PM
Nosey Farking whores shouldn't be snooping in the first place! Chics who say it's bad or "disgusting" are just simply jealous because they're fat and ugly.
 
2012-10-04 12:10:13 PM

Gaseous Anomaly: For pics and vids it was more important in the days of dialup Internet; you might not want to go through a long download/uudecode cycle every time you wanted to rub one out.


makes sense for back in the day... but that was a long time ago.

Gaseous Anomaly: (Mine is mostly text, but a few pics and vids, and I don't need to hide it or anything).


you some kind of lingophile or something?
 
2012-10-04 12:15:53 PM

Earpj: KingKauff:
No. They are not. I didn't say they were. I just meant that some people DO have sex lives that might fit into porn, and it works just fine for them.

Trust her. She is speaking from experience

Dude. You make it sound like I speak from experience about a porn like sex life. Jeezz...


Jizzz

FTFY
 
2012-10-04 12:20:34 PM

Gaseous Anomaly: ImmaHoopyFrood: I don't want any of it going through my network anyway.

Any particular reason? Is he digging up pics of girls his own age or something?


He did venture a little too far, but nothing illegal yet. I only broke the question once it started getting borderline. I'd still be legally liable for where he goes. In a short 3 years he can do whatever he wants with his own connection.
 
2012-10-04 12:21:25 PM

Abuse Liability: Earpj: KingKauff:
No. They are not. I didn't say they were. I just meant that some people DO have sex lives that might fit into porn, and it works just fine for them.

Trust her. She is speaking from experience

Dude. You make it sound like I speak from experience about a porn like sex life. Jeezz...

Jizzz

FTFY


TY
 
2012-10-04 12:22:00 PM

miss diminutive: Earpj: I just periodically remind my boys that porn is fantasy. Very few women will let you slap them in the face with your penis.

Well that depends. Does the guy get a running start?


I find it hard to aim properly while running. Might get her in the ear instead of the cheek and that would be weird.
 
2012-10-04 12:32:11 PM

ImmaHoopyFrood: My son is 15 now. He started with the victoria's secret catalog at 12. Over the last month my proxy has been picking up on his online porn searches and visits. I asked him if he wanted to tell me anything about where he has been going online and he spilled the beans without a problem. Told him if there are any more visits to porn sites on my network he loses access. Porn sites are laden with malware.

I told him to build a cantenna or get an external antenna, and drill a hole in his Galaxy and hook into an unsecured WAP in the neighborhood. I don't allow the handhelds full access to the internal wap. Or he can get his own internet access. I also got him a subscription to Playboy. Look at all the porn you want. Just don't do it over my network.

I asked him if he enjoyed the Stephen Hawking classic interview in the last issue. He grinned and said "Yeah... I read that for like 20 minutes"


Pictures of Lily made my life so wonderful
Pictures of Lily helped me sleep at night
Pitcures of Lily solved my childhood problems
Pictures of Lily helped me feel alright
 
2012-10-04 12:36:40 PM

Earpj: Abuse Liability: Earpj: KingKauff:
No. They are not. I didn't say they were. I just meant that some people DO have sex lives that might fit into porn, and it works just fine for them.

Trust her. She is speaking from experience

Dude. You make it sound like I speak from experience about a porn like sex life. Jeezz...

Jizzz

FTFY

TY


Such a polite person. Probably the type to go the extra mile with the reach around, even though it isn't specifically stated in the contract.
 
2012-10-04 12:48:07 PM

Earpj: I just periodically remind my boys that porn is fantasy. Very few women will let you slap them in the face with your penis.


But some do... =)
 
2012-10-04 12:50:54 PM
www.misterhonk.de
 
2012-10-04 01:00:23 PM

stonicus: Earpj: I just periodically remind my boys that porn is fantasy. Very few women will let you slap them in the face with your penis.

But some do... =)


Undoubtedly. It's just rare.
 
2012-10-04 01:03:44 PM
csb

My buddies and I worked out a plan that we would all buy one hotrag when we headed off to college and every month we would mail that book to another buddy. There were six of us so we would each get a new book each month for 6 months. Then by the time the one you bought got back to you, it would no longer be boring, it would be like visiting an old friend. We called it the blue paper exchange.

/csb
 
2012-10-04 01:05:07 PM

dustygrimp: csb

My buddies and I worked out a plan that we would all buy one hotrag when we headed off to college and every month we would mail that book to another buddy. There were six of us so we would each get a new book each month for 6 months. Then by the time the one you bought got back to you, it would no longer be boring, it would be like visiting an old friend. We called it the blue paper exchange.

/csb


Umm...ewww...sticky.
 
2012-10-04 01:09:34 PM
Unless it's kid porn or snuff porn, I'm not sure why the fark you should say anything. People look at porn. Get over it. Just tell him not to jack too much (ie, if it starts to affect school work) and leave it at that.

There you go. Free advice. Probably more useful than the linked article.
 
2012-10-04 01:14:33 PM

Earpj: KingKauff:
No. They are not. I didn't say they were. I just meant that some people DO have sex lives that might fit into porn, and it works just fine for them.

Trust her. She is speaking from experience

Dude. You make it sound like I speak from experience about a porn like sex life. Jeezz...


Well there went my fantasy.
 
2012-10-04 01:21:32 PM

kcfarker:

Dude. You make it sound like I speak from experience about a porn like sex life. Jeezz...

Well there went my fantasy.


Sorry, Hon. :(
 
2012-10-04 01:32:51 PM

pute kisses like a man: here's the part I don't understand about the internet and porn.

why does everyone have a porn folder? what about going online, looking at porn, sanitizing the computer, feeling shameful, and moving on with your day? why is there all this talk about porn folders? is it really the way y'all do porn? you download this stuff and save it in some folder? Am I doing it wrong by not downloading anything and not saving it in some folder?



Same here.  I've never saved any porn.  At least not in a decade or so.  There's hundreds of free videos posted daily to a multitude of sites.
 
2012-10-04 01:47:22 PM

Shadowtag: My girlfriend is chronically ill, to the point where she's given me the go ahead to cheat on her if I have to, as long as I don't lie about it. I think she can say that because she knows I won't. She's well aware of my porn stash, and only insists that if I find something awesome (say, anything from Stoya or Justine Jolie getting fisted) I show her. Unless it goes all kiddie and gross, then she'll punch me right in the face and I'll wake up in the river right as police arrive. She's mostly glad that my kinks end up quaint, and when she does feel up to it, we can act it out.

Except for the french maid thing. For some reason she won't do that one. I've told her repeatedly she doesn't have to do the accent, just leave the thigh high fishnets on.

At some point she's agreed to dress up as Power Girl but every time it gets to bleaching her hair out, we end up in an argument until one of us is too exhausted to continue and has to sleep on the couch.

/Sixteen years in two months.



Only twenty-six more to go, and then she's legal!
 
2012-10-04 01:50:28 PM

downstairs: Same here. I've never saved any porn. At least not in a decade or so. There's hundreds of free videos posted daily to a multitude of sites.



You must be fun at restaurants.

"Ranch dressing on the side, got it... and for you?"
"Oh, whatever, it's all the same to me." (closes eyes and points randomly at menu)
 
2012-10-04 01:51:38 PM
It was explained to me that men look at porn because it's impossible for them to mentally fantasise about having sex and jerk off to that like many women do and it would be wrong to expect a man to have to do that. Men don't have the capacity to imagine a sexual fantasy in their mind and simply leave it to the professionals.
 
2012-10-04 01:53:30 PM

Earpj: I just periodically remind my boys that porn is fantasy. Very few women will let you slap them in the face with your penis.


You only need one.
 
2012-10-04 01:55:55 PM
Would you rather have your kid jerking off to porn, or getting STDs?
 
2012-10-04 02:03:44 PM

MorePeasPlease: downstairs: Same here. I've never saved any porn. At least not in a decade or so. There's hundreds of free videos posted daily to a multitude of sites.


You must be fun at restaurants.

"Ranch dressing on the side, got it... and for you?"
"Oh, whatever, it's all the same to me." (closes eyes and points randomly at menu)



Actually sort of the opposite.  Stuff I've seen before bores me.  If someone else is different, more power to them.  Not trying to knock anyone, just never understood it... because there's so much free, new stuff posted every minute.
 
2012-10-04 02:04:27 PM

FunkOut: It was explained to me that men look at porn because it's impossible for them to mentally fantasise about having sex and jerk off to that like many women do and it would be wrong to expect a man to have to do that. Men don't have the capacity to imagine a sexual fantasy in their mind and simply leave it to the professionals.



And believed that? Ha ha.
I could do it naked and blind folded out in a blizzard if necessary.
 
2012-10-04 02:09:40 PM

HellRaisingHoosier: FunkOut: It was explained to me that men look at porn because it's impossible for them to mentally fantasise about having sex and jerk off to that like many women do and it would be wrong to expect a man to have to do that. Men don't have the capacity to imagine a sexual fantasy in their mind and simply leave it to the professionals.


And believed that? Ha ha.
I could do it naked and blind folded out in a blizzard if necessary.


Guys would much rather watch porn than imagine anything on their own.
 
2012-10-04 02:10:17 PM

HellRaisingHoosier: FunkOut: It was explained to me that men look at porn because it's impossible for them to mentally fantasise about having sex and jerk off to that like many women do and it would be wrong to expect a man to have to do that. Men don't have the capacity to imagine a sexual fantasy in their mind and simply leave it to the professionals.


And believed that? Ha ha.
I could do it naked and blind folded out in a blizzard if necessary.


Yeah I can do it without help but that gets harder and harder throughout the day. I mean by number 12 I just can't get into it without some porn or some panties to sniff.
 
2012-10-04 02:11:19 PM

FunkOut: It was explained to me that men look at porn because it's impossible for them to mentally fantasise about having sex and jerk off to that like many women do and it would be wrong to expect a man to have to do that. Men don't have the capacity to imagine a sexual fantasy in their mind and simply leave it to the professionals.


You were told wrong.

I told my son that he was made in the image of our Lord, perfect and whole. I told him that a man's hands naturally reached his penis when laying supine. This was no accident or coincidence, but God's plan for him until he finds his wife. The Lord wants him to touch his penis, and often, but in private, and with a clean cache afterward. And not to spill his seed on the sofa or the bed sheets where they will stain and enfunk our home, but instead to release his issue into a paper towel, that it may be sanctified and blessed before disposal.

My daughter will get a Sybian when she's older.
 
2012-10-04 02:16:31 PM
No, I'm pretty sure men only get aroused by pictures of people having sex and not thinking about having sex.
 
2012-10-04 02:27:57 PM
Son (or daughter), you're better off saving all the ass chasing for college. Now take 15 to rub one out and get back to studying. And please remember to practice safe browsing.
 
2012-10-04 02:33:21 PM

FunkOut: No, I'm pretty sure men only get aroused by pictures of people having sex and not thinking about having sex.


Well that settles it then.
 
2012-10-04 04:25:17 PM
You know, when my parents found my porn stash they weren't happy, but not pissed either. Didn't get in trouble.

/I asked for it back.
//They said no.
 
2012-10-04 04:58:35 PM

meanmutton: Nurglitch: sodomizer: I think the response is the same that you should tell your kid for any unproductive activity: "This will get you nowhere. The time and energy you're using on this would be better placed elsewhere, like education, sports, or finding a soulmate."

There's a beautiful synergy between your username and your advice.

I think I would have spent less time masturbating if I'd had easy access to porn as a teenager - I would have rubbed one out and gotten on with my day instead of all the hijinks I went through for the privacy and material to spank it. As a parent, I think I'd make sure that my kids have a few back-issue collections of Savage Love to peruse.

Frankly I'd be more concerned about them watching prime-time soap operas and forming an opinion about relationships from that sort of material than from porn.

Let's not pretend that Gonzo style porn, which is almost exclusively the type you easily find on the Internet, shows anything even remotely close to what sex our relationships should be like.


www.deviantart.com
 
2012-10-04 05:01:03 PM

xanadian: FTFA: He basically said, "I won't make a big deal or any-sized deal about it," though he did go pretty deeply and somewhat creatively into the dangers of pornography to computers.

This is exactly what I would do. I would also tell him to use Firefox with NoScript and how to adjust its settings.

/xvideo, tube8, youporn


I wouldn't do that. I would use a VM. You can't be too careful.
 
2012-10-04 05:03:34 PM

Jument: xanadian: FTFA: He basically said, "I won't make a big deal or any-sized deal about it," though he did go pretty deeply and somewhat creatively into the dangers of pornography to computers.

This is exactly what I would do. I would also tell him to use Firefox with NoScript and how to adjust its settings.

/xvideo, tube8, youporn

I wouldn't do that. I would use a VM. You can't be too careful.


Or Linux, which as a bonus will prevent him from getting STDs.
 
2012-10-04 05:13:19 PM

FunkOut: No, I'm pretty sure men only get aroused by pictures of people having sex and not thinking about having sex.


I had always thought I was getting aroused by thinking about having sex, but then I thought some more and maybe I'm aroused by thinking about pictures of people having sex, and not thinking about actually having sex. Or maybe the thought of being aroused by thinking about seeing pictures of people having sex is what actually gets me aroused. Or is it the other way around, where thinking about getting to see the pictures of people having sex makes me want to see the pictures of people having sex and then think about those pictures, and that desire to think about thinking about seeing pictures of people having sex is what actually gets me aroused.

On a related note, I'm pretty sure women can only get aroused when baking pies, and not when thinking about pictures of people having sex.
 
2012-10-04 05:16:24 PM
Tom Selleck = moustache zenith
 
2012-10-04 05:21:39 PM

Gaseous Anomaly: Jument: xanadian: FTFA: He basically said, "I won't make a big deal or any-sized deal about it," though he did go pretty deeply and somewhat creatively into the dangers of pornography to computers.

This is exactly what I would do. I would also tell him to use Firefox with NoScript and how to adjust its settings.

/xvideo, tube8, youporn

I wouldn't do that. I would use a VM. You can't be too careful.

Or Linux, which as a bonus will prevent him from getting STDs.


Remember how Apple used to claim that Macs couldn't get virii? Same goes for Linux. Don't confuse obscurity with security.
 
2012-10-04 05:32:54 PM
A person I work with came home, and his wife presented him with some smut magazines she found under their teenage son's bed. She told him "he" needed to address with "his" son. He said "OK", and called his son into the room and told him. " If your going to bring something into this house that your Mom and I doesn't approve of,... you better do a better job of hiding it. You need to find a place she'll never look,... like under the vacuum cleaner." Then took it through the kitchen and dropped them in the trash.
 
2012-10-04 05:33:07 PM
I didn't see "Buy him a Flesh Tube" in there as a suggestion. Hell, no suggestions for making it better at all.

Hypothetically, If I found my kids stash, I would mess with his mind. Rename a bunch of dog and cat pictures as the ones he saving. Replace a video with you laughing and ridiculing him. No, I wouldn't do that... Maybe an instructional video on how to use a condom, or yoga.
 
2012-10-04 05:46:33 PM

Earpj: I just periodically remind my boys that porn is fantasy. Very few women will let you slap them in the face with your penis.


...five minutes after you deliver their pizza.

In the context of a healthy sexual relationship between adults, cock slapping, titty sprinkles, and all manner of butt stuff can be not only normal but freakin' awesome.
 
2012-10-04 05:48:35 PM

Undulation: On a related note, I'm pretty sure women can only get aroused when baking pies, and not when thinking about pictures of people having sex.


Women only become aroused at the prospect of taking the seed of a prosperous, physically fit man who has demonstrated qualities of responsibility and devotion such that she can be sure he will remain to support her and any children resulting from their union. Beyond this, it is the image of a strong, fit, handsome man performing household tasks like vacuuming, washing dishes, folding laundry, or doing yard work. It is not merely his brawn, but his perceived fitness as a provider, paired with his display of competence in maintaining a safe, stable household which taps her moistness. This presentation of hard work and dedication to protecting her and her progeny can stimulate her such that her breasts will swell and nipples will harden, even to the point of lactating, while her vulva becomes engorged and begins to lubricate at the sound of the washing machine starting as he grasps the knob in his clean, strong hand, gently twists to just the right point, and pulls. Firmly. Irresistibly.

This will inflame her passion. This will arouse her lusts, dampening her undergarments, swelling the delicate petals of her secret, precious flower, bringing forth the flow of sweet nectars and the aroma of Spring that will delight the gods and cause the dew to lay heavy on the evening clover.
 
2012-10-04 06:30:38 PM
I didn't have porn growing up, nor did it interest me. Dad and his rolodex of nameless "girlfriends" pretty much ruined it for me by drunkenly hanging around the house naked on a regular basis throughout my childhood and teen years.

Probably ruined my chances of ever having or recognizing a healthy relationship, too. Is there more to it than rough sex and shameless money exchanges?
 
2012-10-04 06:36:28 PM

Gaseous Anomaly: Jument: xanadian: FTFA: He basically said, "I won't make a big deal or any-sized deal about it," though he did go pretty deeply and somewhat creatively into the dangers of pornography to computers.

This is exactly what I would do. I would also tell him to use Firefox with NoScript and how to adjust its settings.

/xvideo, tube8, youporn

I wouldn't do that. I would use a VM. You can't be too careful.

Or Linux, which as a bonus will prevent him from getting STDs.


ha!
 
2012-10-04 06:59:15 PM

screwzloos: I didn't have porn growing up, nor did it interest me. Dad and his rolodex of nameless "girlfriends" pretty much ruined it for me by drunkenly hanging around the house naked on a regular basis throughout my childhood and teen years.

Probably ruined my chances of ever having or recognizing a healthy relationship, too. Is there more to it than rough sex and shameless money exchanges?


Well, there's also doctor's appointments and prescription costs.
 
2012-10-04 07:29:59 PM

Jument: Gaseous Anomaly: Jument: xanadian: FTFA: He basically said, "I won't make a big deal or any-sized deal about it," though he did go pretty deeply and somewhat creatively into the dangers of pornography to computers.

This is exactly what I would do. I would also tell him to use Firefox with NoScript and how to adjust its settings.

/xvideo, tube8, youporn

I wouldn't do that. I would use a VM. You can't be too careful.

Or Linux, which as a bonus will prevent him from getting STDs.

Remember how Apple used to claim that Macs couldn't get virii? Same goes for Linux. Don't confuse obscurity with security.


However at this point Linux virus are listed as "theoretically possible" versus Windows which seems to come pre-loaded with them.
 
2012-10-04 08:11:27 PM
I understand that masturbation is normal and healthy, but I'd rather not my 15 year old watch 10,000 hours of mainstream porn before laying hands on a real boobie. Fapping to Betty Paige is harmless. Mindlessly re-enacting porn is not. I also understand there's probably no way to stop them. A conundrum.
 
2012-10-04 09:03:50 PM

Frank Slide: You know what's even more awkward?

When you are doing tech support for your clueless 80-year-old father and you find teenage blow-job vids all over the place, along with all the malware,

"Dad, I think it's time we had a little talk."

Awwwk-ward.


Exactly why I convinced my 2 older sisters (about a decade ago) that our father (who turns 90 in a couple months) had no need to be online. Yeah, he would have a blast learning cool stuff about gardening, woodworking, etc., but.....he's happy with playing Solitaire on a 15 y/o laptop.
 
2012-10-04 09:52:17 PM

LiberalEastCoastElitist: I understand that masturbation is normal and healthy, but I'd rather not my 15 year old watch 10,000 hours of mainstream porn before laying hands on a real boobie. Fapping to Betty Paige is harmless. Mindlessly re-enacting porn is not. I also understand there's probably no way to stop them. A conundrum.


Do you think that your 15 year old son would storm the beaches of Normandy after watching Saving Private Ryan or playing some FPS? Then why assume that he'll try to reenact porn?
 
2012-10-04 10:18:00 PM

lewismarktwo: LiberalEastCoastElitist: I understand that masturbation is normal and healthy, but I'd rather not my 15 year old watch 10,000 hours of mainstream porn before laying hands on a real boobie. Fapping to Betty Paige is harmless. Mindlessly re-enacting porn is not. I also understand there's probably no way to stop them. A conundrum.

Do you think that your 15 year old son would storm the beaches of Normandy after watching Saving Private Ryan or playing some FPS? Then why assume that he'll try to reenact porn?


Because around half of the younger, inexperienced men I've been with have re-enacted porn to a certain degree, including major WTF obviously outside the realm of common sense like going ass --> vagina. Maybe 1/4 of them have anorgasmia which I think is related to ham fisting themselves to massive amounts of internet porn numerous times. Most of them get over it, but its not exactly the most ideal experience.

/Yes, I am a slut
//Would take a 45 year old over a 25 year old
 
2012-10-04 10:50:02 PM

LiberalEastCoastElitist: lewismarktwo: LiberalEastCoastElitist: I understand that masturbation is normal and healthy, but I'd rather not my 15 year old watch 10,000 hours of mainstream porn before laying hands on a real boobie. Fapping to Betty Paige is harmless. Mindlessly re-enacting porn is not. I also understand there's probably no way to stop them. A conundrum.

Do you think that your 15 year old son would storm the beaches of Normandy after watching Saving Private Ryan or playing some FPS? Then why assume that he'll try to reenact porn?

Because around half of the younger, inexperienced men I've been with have re-enacted porn to a certain degree, including major WTF obviously outside the realm of common sense like going ass --> vagina. Maybe 1/4 of them have anorgasmia which I think is related to ham fisting themselves to massive amounts of internet porn numerous times. Most of them get over it, but its not exactly the most ideal experience.

/Yes, I am a slut
//Would take a 45 year old over a 25 year old



encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com
 
2012-10-04 10:53:13 PM
Once again, I get to trot how old I am. I used to think I would know exactly how to handle the porn issue with kids. I had a secret job stocking porn in high school. It let me buy school supplies without the drama of prying those supplies out of my dysfunctional parents. At the end of the month, the store owner ripped the covers off of two copies of each magazine and gave them to me and the other girl that worked with me. We smuggled them to our brothers and/or boy cousins and when we ran out of other things to read we took them back and read them ourselves.

I remember reading an interview with Frank Zappa and an article comparing condom quality in Playboy. I remember my friend writing parodies of the Easy Rider stories and reading them out loud causing me to laugh so hard that my sides hurt.

Now, we have the internet. Ugh. The problem I have with the internet is that some of the stuff that purports to be porn isn't porn in my opinion. I feel that, here, my post is going to fall apart as I struggle to put this "so called porn that is not porn" concept into words. Maybe its' that it's too easy to stumble on scenes of violence. Maybe it's that I'm prejudiced because the articles are gone and the pictures are less appealing than I remember them ever being in the print magazines. Some of the stuff that can be found on line can make a person long for the relative classiness of Hustler, if that makes any sense.

Meanwhile, my daughter had classmates that were downloading and viewing porn in class at school during the first week of school. It aggravated her because they kept calling her name while she was working and asking her to look at it. My husband called the school and offered to help them block it. So, that's been nipped.

Per my daughter, the same group of kids found out my son has never seen porn and informed him he had to watch it or he wasn't normal. She couldn't recall his exact words, but apparently he disputed them in such a way that the females in the class were impressed. She reports that a significant number of the girls in the class now have a crush on him. So, maybe I've been bailed out of dealing with it in any direct manner. Maybe I can just sit back and let my son bask in his new found no porn watching prompted popularity with the girls.
 
2012-10-04 11:08:09 PM

meanmutton: Nurglitch: sodomizer: I think the response is the same that you should tell your kid for any unproductive activity: "This will get you nowhere. The time and energy you're using on this would be better placed elsewhere, like education, sports, or finding a soulmate."

There's a beautiful synergy between your username and your advice.

I think I would have spent less time masturbating if I'd had easy access to porn as a teenager - I would have rubbed one out and gotten on with my day instead of all the hijinks I went through for the privacy and material to spank it. As a parent, I think I'd make sure that my kids have a few back-issue collections of Savage Love to peruse.

Frankly I'd be more concerned about them watching prime-time soap operas and forming an opinion about relationships from that sort of material than from porn.

Let's not pretend that Gonzo style porn, which is almost exclusively the type you easily find on the Internet, shows anything even remotely close to what sex our relationships should be like.


Correct. Even my wife agrees, he has to know that shiat isn't normal, the rest is whatever.

Amateur ftw
 
2012-10-05 05:09:59 AM
Found my dad's (limited) porn stash before I had ever even seen one. It lead to years of the mags being moved around, because at some point I must have put them back in the wrong order or something and he started hiding them better (alas for him there were only so many places they could be in the house).

To this day we have never discussed it (or I was just paranoid and he actively used them and hid them haphazardly.)
 
2012-10-05 08:36:13 AM

LiberalEastCoastElitist: Maybe 1/4 of them have anorgasmia which I think is related to ham fisting themselves to massive amounts of internet porn numerous times.


Don't forget lateral epicondylitis or "jerker's elbow."
 
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