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(Mother Nature Network)   You shouldn't eat cookie dough, kissing your dog is bad for you,taking vitamins will lead you to an early grave, and other reasons why people hate scientists and their annoying fact-finding studies   (mnn.com) divider line 125
    More: Stupid, cookie dough, Emerging Infectious Diseases, Clinical Infectious Diseases, National Sleep Foundation, Big Gulp, randomized trial, meningitis, George Costanza  
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12626 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Oct 2012 at 6:01 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-10-04 08:21:24 AM  

fusillade762: I only do two of those things (8 & 9).

It's finally been confirmed: Sugary drinks make you fat.

I drink soda daily, probably about a liter or so. 6'2", 180lbs, 38 inch waist. Am I fat?


Hard to say, maybe not now but probably later. You might also want to keep an eye on your insulin levels since you're kicking the shiat out of your pancreas on a daily basis.
 
2012-10-04 08:25:41 AM  
Wait...TFA says it's safe to eat cookie dough because of no chance of Salmonella from the eggs, but we're not supposed to eat it because there was an eColi link that affected 77 people one time in the history of commercial cookie dough? Fark that, I'll keep taking my chances.
 
2012-10-04 08:26:26 AM  
Oh, I give up.
 
2012-10-04 08:27:01 AM  

Slaxl: fusillade762: I only do two of those things (8 & 9).

It's finally been confirmed: Sugary drinks make you fat.

I drink soda daily, probably about a liter or so. 6'2", 180lbs, 38 inch waist. Am I fat?

Yeah probably. I'm 6'2", I got up to 190lbs before I decided I was far too fat and needed to lose weight. I'm down to 170lbs at the moment but I'm still fat. It doesn't help that all my excess weight is stored in a rotund belly which exacerbates the appearance of being fat, but while technically my bmi is normal weight, there's no way i'm normal, unless we redefine it to spare the feelings of fat people, I'm definitely fat. Just not as fat as 400lbs tubsy over there.


I'm beginning to think there is a height requirement for Fark. Every time some guy posts his height it's always 6 "2.
Mr.S is also that height, ya really.
 
2012-10-04 08:28:04 AM  
UGH! I hate that study where they compared Spongebob to Caillou by showing the kids 9 minutes of the program. It pisses me off. Any kid I know, if you turned the program off 2 minutes before it was over would be upset and distracted, too. Kids get VERY upset if you interrupt what they're doing. And of course they wouldn't be as upset by Caillou being turned off. Who the hell likes Caillou??
 
2012-10-04 08:29:43 AM  

fruitloop: Wait...TFA says it's safe to eat cookie dough because of no chance of Salmonella from the eggs, but we're not supposed to eat it because there was an eColi link that affected 77 people one time in the history of commercial cookie dough? Fark that, I'll keep taking my chances.


This near veg diabetic with whom I live is always on my case about the types of food I eat or how I prepare it. Even when I washed prepackaged greens. Hey! Look on the bag! ALREADY WASHED! fark that guy.
 
2012-10-04 08:31:29 AM  

lewismarktwo: Louisiana_Sitar_Club: several pet owners contracted disease when their mouth or an open sore was lovingly licked by their animals.

What in the ever loving fark?!?! Is this the sort of shiat pet owners do? WTF is wrong with you people?

My dog used to french kiss me when I was sleeping and ever since I can eat just about anything without getting sick. Proof dogs make you immune to food poisoning!


Helps with the week-old roadkill.

Reminds me of a month ago. Stranger, bends over to hug or inspect or adjust the settings on her golden retriever as I'm walking by and exclaims, "It's gone!" in a tragic voice. Hey, she's pretty. "What?" "My dog licked off my contact lens!"
 
2012-10-04 08:33:03 AM  

QT_3.14159: UGH! I hate that study where they compared Spongebob to Caillou by showing the kids 9 minutes of the program. It pisses me off. Any kid I know, if you turned the program off 2 minutes before it was over would be upset and distracted, too. Kids get VERY upset if you interrupt what they're doing. And of course they wouldn't be as upset by Caillou being turned off. Who the hell likes Caillou??


Any parent can tell you that Spongebob makes your kid spastic and retarded. Caillou is the cartoon delivery system for thorazine.

/that laugh...
//it haunts my nightmares
 
2012-10-04 08:33:19 AM  

thelordofcheese: And that's why Mythbusters is stupid.

"Boy, we have an extremely small sample size, and arbitrary conditions. Let's roll with it and masquerade it as science."

No way someone could ever be sick or not wash their hands.


thelordofcheese: No. That is terrible advice. Most people - almost all - would get frustrated and give up. You just have no willpower nor commitment. You should never give advice again.



I'm not sure if I saw what I think I saw. Did you just argue with yourself?
 
2012-10-04 08:39:44 AM  
I note that the called out prepackaged cookie dough, not the doughy goodness that my wife makes when she bakes chocolate chip cookies* using her Kitchenaid.

*These are the only acceptable home-made cookies. If you like something else, you are some kind of devil-worshiping, baby-killing POS. You probably root for some team in that state up north and have an extra or missing chromosome.
 
2012-10-04 08:41:25 AM  

AbbeySomeone: I'm beginning to think there is a height requirement for Fark. Every time some guy posts his height it's always 6 "2.
Mr.S is also that height, ya really.


Apropose of nothing, I'm 5'10" and around 155 lbs. I like not having to re-spring japanese motorcycles for a fat american ass I don't have, but then again any modern office chair is about 8" too wide and clothes are hard to find (even though I should be a medium and don't have short legs or a long torso or any crap like that - I'm just a rare shape now in fat people's america).

That said, the fark reader base is probably more affluent than the mean american, and there is a slight trend of greater height with affluence, most likely due to better nutrition in childhood.

So, in other words, fark is full of whiny, tall, cake eaters.
 
2012-10-04 08:42:31 AM  

Gleeman: Shadow Blasko: Day_Old_Dutchie: Shadow Blasko: Clintoned in the boobies... Right there.

Score 1 for the filter.
[imageshack.us image 300x294]

You've been here since 2003 and you don't know about clintoned in the boobies?

First time I saw it.


Further proof of Pfom!!'s Law of the Internets:
"No matter how old something is, or how widely known, somebody somewhere is seeing it today for the very first time."
 
2012-10-04 08:43:02 AM  

fusillade762: I only do two of those things (8 & 9).

It's finally been confirmed: Sugary drinks make you fat.

I drink soda daily, probably about a liter or so. 6'2", 180lbs, 38 inch waist. Am I fat?


Sounds like it.

/ 6'3", 195lbs, 34 inch waist
 
2012-10-04 08:43:50 AM  

fusillade762: 6'2", 180lbs, 38 inch waist.


One of those numbers is incorrect.
 
2012-10-04 08:44:25 AM  

Pants full of macaroni!!: Gleeman: Shadow Blasko: Day_Old_Dutchie: Shadow Blasko: Clintoned in the boobies... Right there.

Score 1 for the filter.
[imageshack.us image 300x294]

You've been here since 2003 and you don't know about clintoned in the boobies?

First time I saw it.

Further proof of Pfom!!'s Law of the Internets:
"No matter how old something is, or how widely known, somebody somewhere is seeing it today for the very first time."


I'll allow it
 
2012-10-04 08:49:45 AM  

QT_3.14159: UGH! I hate that study where they compared Spongebob to Caillou by showing the kids 9 minutes of the program. It pisses me off. Any kid I know, if you turned the program off 2 minutes before it was over would be upset and distracted, too. Kids get VERY upset if you interrupt what they're doing. And of course they wouldn't be as upset by Caillou being turned off. Who the hell likes Caillou??


After clicking on their reference link, not only does the article they cite have a strong bias toward PBS (which has a reputation as an educational channel, but it really isn't - it's a channel with some educational shows, while others really aren't), but it is also the case that they misrepresnt the data: it seems that the "staggering" differences among the 3 sample groups is within a standard deviation.
 
2012-10-04 08:52:31 AM  
these studies never actually tell you the real chance of this happening doing these activities like the cookie dough and dog kissing thing. All they say is that it can happen.

With the dog/cat sleeping with you and kissing giving you a disease I bet is around the same chances as a human partner sleeping with and kissing you. We eat horrible sugary and carb filled diets that promote all sorts of nasty bacteria that you won't find in a dog mouth unless your feeding it the same junk and there are plenty of people who do not wash often enough. Did you know tooth decay and cavities are a somewhat recent problem to humans that started with farming and the making of breads?
 
2012-10-04 08:55:04 AM  

fusillade762: I only do two of those things (8 & 9).

It's finally been confirmed: Sugary drinks make you fat.

I drink soda daily, probably about a liter or so. 6'2", 180lbs, 38 inch waist. Am I fat?


Eventually.

I used to put down 2 liters a day at 6'0, 135lbs-145lbs, 30-32 inch waist. (high school and college)
Through grad school and year one post school, I'm up to 175lbs-180lbs, 33 inch waist.

When i stopped drinking pop I lost about 10 lbs in 2 months.
 
2012-10-04 08:58:02 AM  
Ha! I feel vindicated for never voluntarily having that sponge boob in my house. SCIENCE!
 
2012-10-04 09:28:28 AM  
This.

The source says exercise alone won't get you there because people don't usually burn enough calories to have an impact. In this example, though, changes in exercise AND diet are being used.

Unfortunately, the diet changes are to his/her detriment.
 
2012-10-04 09:29:19 AM  

cmunic8r99: This.

The source says exercise alone won't get you there because people don't usually burn enough calories to have an impact. In this example, though, changes in exercise AND diet are being used.

Unfortunately, the diet changes are to his/her detriment.


Don't know where the quoted part went...
 
2012-10-04 09:37:43 AM  
Depends on the vitamins pills.. and what foods they're replacing that will put you in the grave in the same amount of time.

I love allergies that lay me out for 3 days don't you. They're so fun. And conscientious about keeping me from being paid while I'm stuck at home too.
 
2012-10-04 09:43:33 AM  

SevenizGud: FTFA:
3. Exercise won't help you lose weight.

And if you plan on baking that cookie dough and downing the delectable calories, you can always spend a few extra minutes later at the gym, right? Wrong. Two recent studies put a damper on the theory that exercise will help you lose weight. A person's basal metabolic rate, which determines how many calories get burned daily, will drop as you lose weight, even with daily exercise, the research showed.

Shoot the idiot who came up with this one. Nobody said you could exercize your way down to ZERO. Metabolic change TRAILS exercise because...TA-DA! you are SMALLER, and your body does not have to work as hard to pump crap around your tub of goo body.


I think the point was not that you should not exercise, but that you should be aware that exercise alone will not make you lose weight. Personnal experience makes me agree with this. I've been hitting the gym three times a week for the past several years, I'm fit (at least as measured by bloodwork and heart tests), but I'm still fat.

/should eat less, I know.
 
2012-10-04 09:43:36 AM  
The vitamin one is a joke. Sense of "illusory invulnerability,"? Obviously, needs money research (AKA grants AKA money).

Anything in MNN is "illusory science".
 
2012-10-04 09:43:51 AM  
Why I never let my dog lick me.

i.imgur.com

/I'm still jealous, though
 
2012-10-04 09:51:20 AM  
Vitamins create "illusory invulnerability," the authors reported in the August 2011 issue of the journal Psychological Science. For example, people taking vitamins chose a buffet over an organic meal and exercised less.

So it's not the vitamin pills that are hazardous. It's stupidly thinking that the vitamins are a substitute for proper nutrition. Taking vitamins isn't a bad idea. Eating crap (with or without vitamin supplements) is a bad idea. Somehow this translates to "ZOMG vitamins!" (see Weeners).
 
2012-10-04 09:51:37 AM  

kryptin420: these studies never actually tell you the real chance of this happening doing these activities like the cookie dough and dog kissing thing. All they say is that it can happen.

With the dog/cat sleeping with you and kissing giving you a disease I bet is around the same chances as a human partner sleeping with and kissing you. We eat horrible sugary and carb filled diets that promote all sorts of nasty bacteria that you won't find in a dog mouth unless your feeding it the same junk and there are plenty of people who do not wash often enough. Did you know tooth decay and cavities are a somewhat recent problem to humans that started with farming and the making of breads?


You sound like the type that would let animals lovingly lick your mouth and open sores.
 
2012-10-04 09:54:37 AM  
(see Weeners).

Filter pwned!
 
d3
2012-10-04 10:04:00 AM  

fusillade762: I only do two of those things (8 & 9).

It's finally been confirmed: Sugary drinks make you fat.

I drink soda daily, probably about a liter or so. 6'2", 180lbs, 38 inch waist. Am I fat?


As others have mentioned, these numbers don't add up. I'm 6'0", 177lbs, and 34 inch waist. Either your waist is really 36 or your weight is more like 280.
 
2012-10-04 10:10:36 AM  

Phelon Hardtimes: fusillade762: I only do two of those things (8 & 9).

It's finally been confirmed: Sugary drinks make you fat.

I drink soda daily, probably about a liter or so. 6'2", 180lbs, 38 inch waist. Am I fat?

Sounds like it.

/ 6'3", 195lbs, 34 inch waist


Yeah some of those numbers seem strange. I'm 6'2", 205 lbs, 36 inch waist.
 
2012-10-04 10:23:50 AM  

davidphogan: Ha! The jokes on Subby. I don't have my own dog.

/if anyone needs me, I'll be in my lab


I'm calling PETA, you animal farker.
 
2012-10-04 10:24:34 AM  

Spad31: I love my dog kisses. I have the coolest, smartest most awesomest giant yellow Lab ever. He's way more fun than most people I know and he has a herd of pink stuffed-animal sheep that he carries around. He's the smilingist dog ever and he's my goofy boy. MURPHY! Or, Mr. Murffles if you're not into the whole brevity thing. Plus, he sleeps in my spot on the bed and keeps it warm for me if I'm not around.


I'm sure he loves going to town on his balls, butthole and dick right before licking your face, too.
 
2012-10-04 10:29:11 AM  
I'm not giving this up, you heartless doctor fascist bastards.

myjoyofliving.com
 
2012-10-04 10:35:14 AM  

Cloudchaser Sakonige the Red Wolf: I'm calling bullshiat on #3 because although eating less got me down to 210 from 255, I was stuck at 210 for years until I started exercising daily and dropped 30 pounds in 6 months.


Eating less gave you better results and more immediate results, which is what #3 says. It doesn't say eating less will make you lose weight forever.

If you cut your eating too quickly, your body will go into hibernation mode and store as much as it can as fat.

If you start exercising too quickly, your body will mess with your metabolism to save energy for the exercising.


Balance is the best approach.
Cutting food will see the best short term results.
Exercising and better calorie maintenance will have the best long term results.
 
2012-10-04 10:38:30 AM  

Bullseyed: fusillade762: I only do two of those things (8 & 9).

It's finally been confirmed: Sugary drinks make you fat.

I drink soda daily, probably about a liter or so. 6'2", 180lbs, 38 inch waist. Am I fat?

Eventually.

I used to put down 2 liters a day at 6'0, 135lbs-145lbs, 30-32 inch waist. (high school and college)
Through grad school and year one post school, I'm up to 175lbs-180lbs, 33 inch waist.

When i stopped drinking pop I lost about 10 lbs in 2 months.


I dunno if dropping the daily Dew has helped me lose weight (I feel like I'm a little thinner, but I haven't seen a scale in a long damn time), but it certainly helped with the lower back pain.
 
2012-10-04 10:47:52 AM  
What will the journalists tell us when the scientists do a study showing how farking stupid most journalists are?
 
2012-10-04 10:49:17 AM  

thelordofcheese: it seems that the "staggering" differences among the 3 sample groups is within a standard deviation.


"Within a standard deviation" can be a huge difference. The average height of women is within a standard deviation of that of men. Do you doubt that there is a real difference between the two groups?
 
2012-10-04 10:52:05 AM  

Pants full of macaroni!!: Gleeman: Shadow Blasko: Day_Old_Dutchie: Shadow Blasko: Clintoned in the boobies... Right there.

Score 1 for the filter.
[imageshack.us image 300x294]

You've been here since 2003 and you don't know about clintoned in the boobies?

First time I saw it.

Further proof of Pfom!!'s Law of the Internets:
"No matter how old something is, or how widely known, somebody somewhere is seeing it today for the very first time."


Well it's not in the list of filters, and I haven't seen it in a thread before this one.
 
2012-10-04 10:53:46 AM  
I walked 4 miles a day for a year and lost no weight. Admittedly, my diet was awful. The daily walking made me feel justified in overeating.

Joined Weight Watchers this past January, and continued the walking. 60 pounds melted off in 9 months. Exercise, when used in combo with proper intake, equals massive success.
 
2012-10-04 10:56:40 AM  
Can't top Commenter #1
 
2012-10-04 11:21:12 AM  

Optimus Primate: Exercise, when used in combo with proper intake, equals massive success.


People don't realize it's easier to not eat 400 calories than to jog off 400 calories.
 
2012-10-04 11:23:07 AM  
Wasn't there a study at some point in time that demonstrated that children who grew up with pets in the house had less incidence of asthma or something because they were exposed to more foreign antigens from birth?
 
2012-10-04 11:26:34 AM  
This is the most insanely idiotic sudo-science babble that I've read in quite a while... Thumbs up Subby!!
 
2012-10-04 11:49:13 AM  

cosmiquemuffin: I'm not giving this up, you heartless doctor fascist bastards.

[myjoyofliving.com image 410x293]


Which one are you?

/on the Internet, we don't know!
 
2012-10-04 11:52:13 AM  
Are they really trying to tell me that my Vitamin C infused heroin is bad for me? It has Vitamin C!
 
2012-10-04 11:54:46 AM  
The vitamins one was great. People who take vitamins die more... cuz they think taking vitamins magically allow them to eat and drink whatever they want and not exercise. Sounds like vitamins are fine and people are just retards. All vitamins do is make sure that you're not deficient, they don't counteract anything.
 
2012-10-04 12:00:55 PM  
Richard Sauce


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2012-10-04 11:54:46 AM

The vitamins one was great. People who take vitamins die more... cuz they think taking vitamins magically allow them to eat and drink whatever they want and not exercise. Sounds like vitamins are fine and people are just retards. All vitamins do is make sure that you're not deficient, they don't counteract anything.


Depends on what you want them to counteract.

The type I take contains a vitamin that causes me to have migraines less than I used to. I'm going by my own numbers in the years before I started taking it vs after I started. I know how much medicine I took that ran the risk of hurting my stomach lining, in order to get rid of one.

I take a lot less stomach endangering pain pills now. I count that as a plus.
 
2012-10-04 12:10:26 PM  

shower_in_my_socks: Also, I now fully subscribe to the "exercise won't help you lose weight" idea. When I'm exercising, I'm hungrier, I eat more, and I eat less healthy foods because "hey, I'm burning it off!" which offsets the exercising. If you want to lose weight, stop exercising and focus on eating a low-calorie diet until you get down to the weight you want, THEN start exercising so you're all healthy and stuff.


Wow, this dumb ass article is just as bad most modern trash science.

Whose fault do you think it is if you pig out...the exercise's fault or yours? If your appetite increases with exercise, eat fruit or something healthy and eventually the increased appetite goes away. Geez, how come I gain weight if I eat a bag of cookies after every run???

Btw, if you try to diet weight off first, you will lose a bunch of muscle (which may actually increase your body fat%) and starting an exercise regimen may become increasingly difficult/painful. Cutting tons of calories depletes and weakens a person's system whereas exercise makes a person strong. It should be a no brainer that diet+exercise is the way to lose weight, but if you can't control yourself in the kitchen don't blame the exercise.

/the article simply points out that people burn fewer calories as they weigh less (d'oh, what's so mind blowing about simple physics and why is it an admonishment against exercise?) and that diet yields faster results than exercise, but other research has shown that slower weight loss stays off a lot longer, so mothernaturenetwork must have forgot to mention that
 
2012-10-04 12:11:06 PM  

shower_in_my_socks: Also, I now fully subscribe to the "exercise won't help you lose weight" idea. When I'm exercising, I'm hungrier, I eat more, and I eat less healthy foods because "hey, I'm burning it off!" which offsets the exercising. If you want to lose weight, stop exercising and focus on eating a low-calorie diet until you get down to the weight you want, THEN start exercising so you're all healthy and stuff.


You should exercise on a calorie deficit. Cardio and strength.
This helps burn fat and maintain lean body mass. You may have to up your TDEE to compensate for a few exercise calories burnt.
 
2012-10-04 12:16:06 PM  

Ook: Cloudchaser Sakonige the Red Wolf: I'm calling bullshiat on #3 because although eating less got me down to 210 from 255, I was stuck at 210 for years until I started exercising daily and dropped 30 pounds in 6 months.

anecdata: more fun than real science!


The article provided no strong scientific basis for its claim. And I don't think anyone is disputing that diet will help encourage weight loss.

/As a person's body size decreases, the BMR will also decrease regardless of body composition...what does this have to do with exercise? And even if diet is more efficient than exercise at causing weight loss, it doesn't prove that exercise wont cause weight loss.
 
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