I think the best response to all this is:

A James May compilation (NSFAmericans)

pissedoffmick: ShannonKW: pissedoffmick: Sorry the guy lost his dong but - Penile implant replacement on a 61 y.o. fella? That is worth $350.00 max.

One suspects you will modify this opinion as years go by.

I am talking fair market value. Nothing personal. It is now, at best, a 3rd gen, broken, frozen, 2 inch dong. $350.00

I'm the 46-year-old owner of a temperamental 7" (at best) penis. In our time together it has let me down more times than I can count, generally does not conduct itself as a good penis ought in the rare episodes in which its services are required, and indeed perversely tends to obey the will of whatever tart I happen to be in bed with rather than mine. This delinquent tube of erectile tissue is responsible for any number of disgraceful encounters and evenings that should have turned out far better than they did had it performed its duties competently, and indeed the hundreds of dollars I've spent on erectile drugs can be laid to its account, for it cannot be relied upon to stand forth penisfully when the occasion demands. If I could fire the thing, I would send it packing this very day and laugh as it trudged limply down the sidewalk with a testicle in each hand searching for a new owner who could possibly deem its services adequate. Had I the money I might even do as the codger in TFA did and have some surgeon rip its guts out and replace them with a silicone/pump apparatus that will OBEY PROMPTLY when it receives its marching orders.

Alas, I can't. I have to make do with the penis I have, and I can tell you I wouldn't trade it for all the tea in China. You may have a point in that my penis is worth next to nothing to everyone but me, but losing it would be a devastating loss to me, nor could any amount of money compensate for it adequately unless someone devises a reliable penis transplant.

/penis

This just seems so appropriate.

I was thinking "How in the hell do you get frostbite on your dick while in a hospital?", but then I remembered what VA nurses are like.

Are the facts that he's an Army veteran and has a broken dick related or is it mere coincidence?

Nezu Chiza: We know EXACTLY what effect losing your manhood has. It makes you want 10 million dollars, because that will make him feel like a man again.

If I was this guy, and got a 10 million dollar settlement, the first thing I'd be thinking is "Yeah, I can get laid with this!" Except I couldn't...because I'd have no penis. Which would shortly lead to: