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(Some Guy)   Fraternity denies buttchugging via unintentionally hilarious press conference   (outkickthecoverage.com) divider line 77
    More: Followup, press conference, University of Tennessee  
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17930 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Oct 2012 at 7:29 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-10-03 05:09:38 PM
9 votes:
brap:

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all butts are created equal."

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to lie face down, pantless together and squirt cheap hooch up each others' rectums.

I have a dream that one day even the state of Tennessee, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of buttchugging.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by how much box wine they can hold in their colons.

I have a dream today.
2012-10-03 07:35:26 PM
7 votes:
www.mediaite.com

That video is second to this press conference on the list of "holy shiat why did they have a press conference" scale.
2012-10-03 08:39:03 PM
6 votes:
imageshack.us
2012-10-03 08:02:47 PM
5 votes:

InspectorZero: fusillade762: Wait, his first move is to deny being gay?? Pouring wine up your ass may be juvenile and stupid but does anyone really think it's GAY?

Well, maybe. It did happen in a frat...


All of you Farkers are hating on a tradition you know nothing about, you all must have been pencil-necked pizza-faced geeks in the Chess Club, fraternity brothers get access to more top-shelf pussy than you could shake a stick at, and the relationships you make in the Brotherhood will last you a lifetime.
2012-10-03 07:52:58 PM
5 votes:
i253.photobucket.com
2012-10-03 07:44:23 PM
5 votes:
If you ask me, Buttchuggers #7 was the best vid in the series.
2012-10-03 07:42:03 PM
5 votes:
THE BUTT CHUGS HERE
upload.wikimedia.org
2012-10-03 04:52:06 PM
5 votes:
A microphone and a buttchugging press conference.  When you are addressing the public, you want to make an impression, a speech for the ages. History weighs heavily on those on the cusp of greatness, so many things must have been going through his head....
 
....but today-ay-ay-ay I-I-I-I feel like the luck-uck-uck-iest buttchu-ug-ug alive...
 
...four score and seven years our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in butchugging...
 
...ask not what buttchugging can do for you but rather what you can do for your buttchugging....
 
...I have come not to praise buttchugging but to bury him...
 
... It was a little cocker spaniel dog in a crate that he'd sent all the way from Texas. Black and white spotted. And our little girl-Tricia, the 6-year-old-named it Buttchugger. And you know, the kids, like all kids, love the buttchugging and I just want to say this right now, that regardless of what they say about it, we're gonna keep it....
 
 

 
2012-10-03 07:53:25 PM
4 votes:
tall guy on the left wipes his brow and looks away at 9:36 when possible evidence of a sexual assault is mentioned. Why so nervous, bro?
2012-10-03 07:43:25 PM
4 votes:

fusillade762: Wait, his first move is to deny being gay?? Pouring wine up your ass may be juvenile and stupid but does anyone really think it's GAY?


We do now.
2012-10-03 07:38:32 PM
4 votes:

fusillade762: Wait, his first move is to deny being gay?? Pouring wine up your ass may be juvenile and stupid but does anyone really think it's GAY?


It was fruity wine.
2012-10-03 05:44:57 PM
4 votes:
sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net

i.dailymail.co.uk

Dude, you are going to ALWAYS be known as Butt Chugger. You won't even be able to move away to get away from the Butt Chugger nickname.

BUTT CHUGGER!
2012-10-04 12:48:01 AM
3 votes:
i.imgur.com
2012-10-03 08:23:09 PM
3 votes:

FunkOut: He's terrible at putting it behind him.


He's a little too good at putting it in his behind, though.
2012-10-03 08:05:12 PM
3 votes:
FTFA "I am a Christian and would never desecrate my body that way."

Maybe not, but he does admit to drinking about 2 liters of Franzia in a single pull from a bag-o-wine. Somehow I just don't think he treats his body like a temple- more like a travelling carnival.
2012-10-03 07:16:03 PM
3 votes:
*clicks on link*


25.media.tumblr.com
2012-10-03 04:31:30 PM
3 votes:
Look at the way they're dressed. Serious buttchugging is serious.
2012-10-03 11:32:33 PM
2 votes:
img560.imageshack.us

"Let me just say this, its good to gainfully employed once again"
2012-10-03 11:05:36 PM
2 votes:
My client is not gay, he is a straight man. I could tell because he didn't look all that enthusiastic when he was farking me in the ass.
2012-10-03 10:01:33 PM
2 votes:
I would never pour liquor up my own ass. The gerbil can't handle that much booze.

/Was in a fraternity
//Saw equally stupid/homoerotic things
///Enjoyed staying reasonably sober and ripping on brothers who did do it
2012-10-03 09:50:39 PM
2 votes:
i.imgur.com
"Hi, darling, I'm Fanzia, and this part of your initiation is called 'butt-chugging'"
 

The dude shiat himself and in the process of cleaning it up, they discovered trauma to his ass. The cops probably saw enema tubes laying around with the Franzia boxes and put two and two together. It's not rocket science.

If I was a reporter, though I'd have asked (before the ridiculous "wedgie" excuse for the rectal trauma): "So you claim you are not gay, but with the rectal trauma, are you claiming another fraternity member anally raped you when you were passed out?"
2012-10-03 08:24:43 PM
2 votes:
Priceless comment: They're going to find out he was doping and take away his Tour de Franzia title.
2012-10-03 08:21:56 PM
2 votes:

theorellior: InspectorZero: fusillade762: Wait, his first move is to deny being gay?? Pouring wine up your ass may be juvenile and stupid but does anyone really think it's GAY?

Well, maybe. It did happen in a frat...

All of you Farkers are hating on a tradition you know nothing about, you all must have been pencil-necked pizza-faced geeks in the Chess Club, fraternity brothers get access to more top-shelf pussy COCK than you could shake a stick at, and the relationships you make in the Brotherhood will last you a lifetime.



Fixed that for you.

And I assure you I didn't need a frat to get access to top shelf pussy.. It's actually easier when you are not gay.
2012-10-03 08:21:31 PM
2 votes:

theorellior: [T]he relationships you make in the Brotherhood will last you a lifetime.


Only in states where same-sex marriage is legal.
2012-10-03 08:21:08 PM
2 votes:
Wow. White people have upped the ante! Your move Japan!
2012-10-03 08:10:05 PM
2 votes:
Fleet and Zima may want to team up and make personal buttchugger six packs, strike while the iron is hot.  I look at this as a marketing opportunity, dude if you want cash you could be the Jared of buttchugging.  Claim to have lost 100 lbs. buttchugging and you're golden.
 
Speaking of buttchugging, when are the Presidential Debates?
2012-10-03 08:04:35 PM
2 votes:
FTFA: Pi Kappa Alpha

Q: What do you call a woman who makes love to other women?
A: A dyke!

Q: What do you call a man who makes love to other men?
A: A Pike!
2012-10-03 08:03:02 PM
2 votes:

Le Bomb Suprize: Bro - ton paraphrased, "On friday night I made a decision to drink too much and it nearly cost me my life. However, I never buttchugged and I am not gay..."

I love how he glosses over the whole "I nearly died" part and gets right to the buttchugging and gay charges as being the really critical parts of the evening. To those wondering why the avid denials of being gay, consider he was likely born, raised, and may never leave the state of Tennessee.


"I nearly died, my butthole is ravaged, but how dare you people!"
2012-10-03 08:02:13 PM
2 votes:
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, bore them (with occasional butt chugging.references to keep the heart from completely stopping).
2012-10-03 07:53:38 PM
2 votes:
ButtChugger was immediately regretting this press conference 30 seconds into it. The look on his face was priceless.

/he regretted other things too
2012-10-03 07:47:51 PM
2 votes:
I maded you a fifth to plea but I buttchugged it.
 
*I maded you a cookie cat jpeg*
2012-10-03 07:47:29 PM
2 votes:

FunkOut: But seriously, does he have any other explanation for the rectal injuries the medical staff found?

"Well, I've been eating a lot of rocks and safety pins lately..."


www.soliloblog.com
2012-10-03 07:44:53 PM
2 votes:
But seriously, does he have any other explanation for the rectal injuries the medical staff found?

"Well, I've been eating a lot of rocks and safety pins lately..."
2012-10-03 07:43:58 PM
2 votes:
You know who else were butt chuggers?!
2012-10-03 07:43:37 PM
2 votes:
Walks like a butt-chugger, talks like a butt-chugger....
2012-10-03 07:42:06 PM
2 votes:

serial_crusher: Does it really matter whether he ingested the alcohol through his bunghole or his mouth? Maybe you just shouldn't be ingesting that much alcohol, dumbass.


Yeah it does, because you know who else likes buttchugging?

GAY PANSIES

If you are going to have buttsex and find frothy Santorum offputting then the receiver can be given an enema first. A nice wine enema or 2 is not only cleansing but is also intoxicating.
2012-10-03 06:37:38 PM
2 votes:

fusillade762: Wait, his first move is to deny being gay?? Pouring wine up your ass may be juvenile and stupid but does anyone really think it's GAY?


Well, maybe. It did happen in a frat...
2012-10-03 06:19:41 PM
2 votes:

scottydoesntknow: basemetal:
Dude, you are going to ALWAYS be known as Butt Chugger. You won't even be able to move away to get away from the Butt Chugger nickname.

BUTT CHUGGER!

That's my thing. They always say "any publicity is good publicity", well unless you planned on being a fetish pornstar, this is NOT good publicity.


Well, at least he has that one job option available. So he's got that going for him. Which is nice.
2012-10-03 05:23:08 PM
2 votes:

InspectorZero: "BRO-ton, not BROUGHT-on. It's Scotch [sic]". Dumbasses.


At this point they're lucky they're not pronouncing it "bro bum."
2012-10-03 05:12:06 PM
2 votes:
"BRO-ton, not BROUGHT-on. It's Scotch [sic]". Dumbasses.
2012-10-03 05:02:59 PM
2 votes:

brap: A microphone and a buttchugging press conference.  When you are addressing the public, you want to make an impression, a speech for the ages. History weighs heavily on those on the cusp of greatness, so many things must have been going through his head....
 
....but today-ay-ay-ay I-I-I-I feel like the luck-uck-uck-iest buttchu-ug-ug alive...
 
...four score and seven years our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in butchugging...
 
...ask not what buttchugging can do for you but rather what you can do for your buttchugging....
 
...I have come not to praise buttchugging but to bury him...
 
... It was a little cocker spaniel dog in a crate that he'd sent all the way from Texas. Black and white spotted. And our little girl-Tricia, the 6-year-old-named it Buttchugger. And you know, the kids, like all kids, love the buttchugging and I just want to say this right now, that regardless of what they say about it, we're gonna keep it....


...one giant leap for buttchugging.
2012-10-03 04:16:53 PM
2 votes:
And everyone managed to keep a straight face through all the 'buttchugging' talk.
2012-10-04 12:52:58 PM
1 votes:
That press conference was one step away from...
4.bp.blogspot.com 

why cant people just snort vodka like the rest of us?
2012-10-04 11:16:34 AM
1 votes:

theorellior: All of you Farkers are hating on a tradition you know nothing about, you all must have been pencil-necked pizza-faced geeks in the Chess Club, fraternity brothers get access to more top-shelf pussy than you could shake a stick at, and the relationships you make in the Brotherhood will last you a lifetime.


Why would you join a bunch of losers who are willing to be humiliated just get some friends!?!?

A band of desperate losers who support each other are still a band of desperate losers.
2012-10-04 09:57:21 AM
1 votes:
i.imgur.com
2012-10-04 08:18:11 AM
1 votes:
How much chug would butt chug chug if a butt chug did but chug?

A butt chug would chug as much butt chug as butt chug could chug butt.
2012-10-04 01:34:30 AM
1 votes:
I love how he swears that butt chugging did not take place...

...in the fraternity house.
2012-10-04 12:20:52 AM
1 votes:
I don't always butt chugg, but when I do, I chugg it straight from her ass.

a0.img.mobypicture.com

Hey, you butt chugg you way and I'll butt chugg my way.
2012-10-03 11:49:58 PM
1 votes:

AeAe: Gunny Walker: FunkOut: But seriously, does he have any other explanation for the rectal injuries the medical staff found?

"Well, I've been eating a lot of rocks and safety pins lately..."

While he was passed out, the picked him up by his belt.
It gave him a hell of a wedgie.
I wish I was kidding.

it was "rectal bruising". How the hell do you get rectal bruising because someone picked you up by your belt? That farking doesn't happen. Something or "someone" went up his butt.


Perhaps the hand slipped from the belt and a finger or two went up his butt. Accidentally, of course.
2012-10-03 11:46:23 PM
1 votes:

Sticky Hands: fusillade762: Wait, his first move is to deny being gay?? Pouring wine up your ass may be juvenile and stupid but does anyone really think it's GAY?

It was fruity wine.


That actually made me chorkle, which is a combination of chuckling and then half-coughing some lung crap up and then choking on it, while still chuckling.
2012-10-03 11:41:03 PM
1 votes:

AeAe: Gunny Walker: FunkOut: But seriously, does he have any other explanation for the rectal injuries the medical staff found?

"Well, I've been eating a lot of rocks and safety pins lately..."

While he was passed out, the picked him up by his belt.
It gave him a hell of a wedgie.
I wish I was kidding.

it was "rectal bruising". How the hell do you get rectal bruising because someone picked you up by your belt? That farking doesn't happen. Something or "someone" went up his butt.


They neglected to mention that his jeans have a built-in dildo in the seat. Y'know, for the closeted queer on the go.
2012-10-03 11:21:27 PM
1 votes:

Sliding Carp: ...one giant leap for buttchugging.


One small.... rubber hose for butt.... one giant leap.... for buttchugging.
2012-10-03 10:57:57 PM
1 votes:
It's not the ButtChugger title that's going to ruin his job prospects, it's his complete unwillingness to be accountable for his own actions that is.
2012-10-03 09:42:52 PM
1 votes:

Marine1: You know, that whole police report reminded me of a story from my freshman year... three years ago, in fact.

I was seen as the up-tight, prude, yet responsible person in my dorm, so one night, I got a call from one of the girls saying that her roommate wasn't feeling good and that I needed to take care of her. I go over to their suite, and find other girls taking care of her. At this point, she is in and out of consciousness on the floor in her room. She's topless, and has vomited all over her bed and clothes... you could smell it out in the hallway. As it turns out, she was at a party at the Sig Chi house about half an hour before then and asked someone for a beer. She had the one beer and then got sick. She wasn't throwing up because she was blackout drunk... someone had slipped her something in her beer. Two pledges from that house then dumped her off at her dorm and went back to the party to keep drinking.

Like in the police report, it was impossible to get a straight answer out of anyone present at that party about what happened. The two pledges took a poisoned girl, dropped her off without any real supervision, and went right back to hanging with their bros. We're lucky she didn't hit her head, have an adverse reaction, or choke on her own vomit. Nothing was done to find out who was slipping roofies into drinks, and the party kept going, because who cares about a potential rapist in your midst when the brotherhood and beer are good? Fortunately, she wasn't sexually assaulted, but she was so ill the next day that she had to miss work, which got her fired.

Party-hard frats are almost as bad as churches in covering up bad behavior. They're operated under the premise of teaching leadership and brotherhood, but when young women are being rendered defenseless in your house and you don't do anything to help her or stop a wannabe rapist, you're not being a leader and your brothers are human garbage. Universities generally don't care what happens until it embarrasse ...




So....you didn't get pledged ehh??
2012-10-03 09:23:40 PM
1 votes:
Lead by example, chuggers.

Respect.
2012-10-03 09:17:36 PM
1 votes:
The real funny part is, all this denial crap is just making it worse.
2012-10-03 09:00:19 PM
1 votes:
I just watched the press conference. That guy looks extremely distressed and uncomfortable. I would guess others put him up to this and he doesn't have much control over the situation or know what the hell is going on.

Butt chugger, if you're reading this...most of us have done wacky things and though it may seem like a big deal now, it will pass. Don't take it so seriously. It's funny, but it's really not that big of a deal. We all have to learn to laugh at ourselves.

Ok, off the presidential debate thread so I can laugh at them (and do some chugging)
2012-10-03 08:57:35 PM
1 votes:

FunkOut: But seriously, does he have any other explanation for the rectal injuries the medical staff found?

"Well, I've been eating a lot of rocks and safety pins lately..."


While he was passed out, the picked him up by his belt.
It gave him a hell of a wedgie.
I wish I was kidding.
2012-10-03 08:24:59 PM
1 votes:

OhioUGrad: serial_crusher: Does it really matter whether he ingested the alcohol through his bunghole or his mouth? Maybe you just shouldn't be ingesting that much alcohol, dumbass.

Well, taking alcohol up the rear bypasses the liver and is quickly absorbed in the blood stream *taking less to get drunk* so in the technicality of it yes it matters on how drunk you end up. Plus you don't have the benefit of your stomach saying "okay, enough dumb ass, it's coming back out".

I sure hope any potential employer in the future Googles this guy, and the first thing that comes up is "butt-chugger" lol


Why do you assume Buttchuggers aren't highly sought after in the job market? This guy knows how to cut through the crap and get to the bottom line. He is bold, imaginative, highly efficient and knows how to cut cost. He takes one for the team to achieve immediate results and when the shiat hits the fan, he puts on a suit and works the smoke and mirrors (incense, we would hope).

So he allegedly butt chugged...so what? And we don't know all the facts, it could've been a "you gonna get butt chugged" situation.
2012-10-03 08:24:51 PM
1 votes:
1. Streisand Effect.

2. Bow ties are cool.
2012-10-03 08:20:47 PM
1 votes:

StRalphTheLiar: ,cookiefleck:


I was trying to be polite.

I'm think he's prone to "wide stances", but my gaydar was built from run-down refrigerator parts in a basement in Stalingrad so who knows.
2012-10-03 08:17:51 PM
1 votes:
hey honey buns.
Sorry I called you honey buns, sweetheart,
butt char.
2012-10-03 08:15:19 PM
1 votes:

Because People in power are Stupid: Butt chugging we're butt chugging
We're what's happening
butt chugging we're butt chugging
We're an ice machine
We see people brand new people
They're something to see
When we're butt chugging
Bright-white chugging
Oh isn't it wild?

Butt chugging we're butt chugging
We're walking through town
butt chugging we're butt chugging
We walk like a ghost
We learn dances brand new dances
Like the nuclear bomb
When we're butt chugging
Bright white chugging
Oh isn't it wild...


Is that like Skeet Surfing?
2012-10-03 08:08:40 PM
1 votes:
He doesn't sound like an entitled, arrogant ass in any way. Nope.
2012-10-03 08:06:20 PM
1 votes:

FunkOut: Le Bomb Suprize: Bro - ton paraphrased, "On friday night I made a decision to drink too much and it nearly cost me my life. However, I never buttchugged and I am not gay..."

I love how he glosses over the whole "I nearly died" part and gets right to the buttchugging and gay charges as being the really critical parts of the evening. To those wondering why the avid denials of being gay, consider he was likely born, raised, and may never leave the state of Tennessee.

"I nearly died, my butthole is ravaged, but how dare you people!"


Well, it speaks to what's most important to him... "I'd rather be thought of as a black out drunk than a ghey"
2012-10-03 07:53:27 PM
1 votes:

Ego edo infantia cattus: Did any one else think that his lip smacking at the end of each sentence was a little... well... gay?


I couldn't even pay attention to all the Buttchugging talk with all that annoying smacking going on. What the hell did he have in his mouth that was making that noise every time he opened it???
2012-10-03 07:50:34 PM
1 votes:
I guess he does not realize (or doesn't care) that by holding a press conference to deny his alleged ButtChugging and Gayness he makes himself look like a colossal entitled whiny douche.
I'd rather be a ButtChugger!
2012-10-03 07:46:07 PM
1 votes:

FunkOut: But seriously, does he have any other explanation for the rectal injuries the medical staff found?

"Well, I've been eating a lot of rocks and safety pins lately..."


Um, he's in a fraternity.

I just find it puzzling that he could have been either buttchugging or drinking alcohol. Wouldn't that get in the way of all the penises?
2012-10-03 07:43:16 PM
1 votes:
Grow up.
2012-10-03 07:43:12 PM
1 votes:

Ego edo infantia cattus: Did any one else think that his lip smacking at the end of each sentence was a little... well... gay?



I was expecting the band to bust out with Rocky Bottom.
2012-10-03 07:41:50 PM
1 votes:

basemetal: [sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net image 399x285]

[i.dailymail.co.uk image 306x423]

Dude, you are going to ALWAYS be known as Butt Chugger. You won't even be able to move away to get away from the Butt Chugger nickname.

BUTT CHUGGER!


I'm...still rather head-desking over the whole buttchugging thing--I honestly thought that the alcoholic enema was something that had gone out of style with, oh, Mayan or Aztec priests (who would get ritually plastered on corn-beer and pulque, then when they couldn't drink any more, received moar up the poop-chute...yes, pretty much contemporaries of a bunch of people with "Jaguar" in their regal titles pretty much invented butt-chugging). Apparently I was wrong and either there is a secret population of nahuals in Knoxville or everything old is new again, especially when it involves college students consuming alcohol in fraternity settings. :D

/preferred consuming alcohol in tabletop-gaming settings
//drunken World of Darkness and WH40K for the win!
///still haven't improved much, if anything, it's now evolved into drunken Rogue Trader for the win
2012-10-03 07:38:37 PM
1 votes:
Meh. I buttchugged a liter of tequila last weekend in Tijuana.
2012-10-03 07:38:30 PM
1 votes:
Butt Chugger? wasn't that Ice T's followup single ?
2012-10-03 07:38:08 PM
1 votes:

Ego edo infantia cattus: Did any one else think that his lip smacking at the end of each sentence was a little... well... gay?


Side effect of boxed wine.
2012-10-03 05:50:38 PM
1 votes:

basemetal:
Dude, you are going to ALWAYS be known as Butt Chugger. You won't even be able to move away to get away from the Butt Chugger nickname.

BUTT CHUGGER!


That's my thing. They always say "any publicity is good publicity", well unless you planned on being a fetish pornstar, this is NOT good publicity.
2012-10-03 05:40:17 PM
1 votes:
If you find buttchugging accusations to be embarrassing, don't hold a press conference about accusations of your buttchugging.
2012-10-03 04:34:24 PM
1 votes:
Butt chugging we're butt chugging
We're what's happening
butt chugging we're butt chugging
We're an ice machine
We see people brand new people
They're something to see
When we're butt chugging
Bright-white chugging
Oh isn't it wild?

Butt chugging we're butt chugging
We're walking through town
butt chugging we're butt chugging
We walk like a ghost
We learn dances brand new dances
Like the nuclear bomb
When we're butt chugging
Bright white chugging
Oh isn't it wild...
 
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